Jiraiya

If you see any cute looking girls, be sure to let me know! Job: Creative Writing Teacher House: 4C-A Roommate: Charlotte Chuhlhourne

[peeping-sage]

"—!!" 

"I could only imagine what kind of creature was chasing after you, though you’re free to stay. I’m not expecting anyone else, fool. Just don’t try to push the beds together and say that you’re scared to sleep alone. Come in." With that said, the blonde Sannin let him inside her dorm and closed the door. She was just about to go out and see him, though now, Tsunade didn’t have bother herself by looking for him and making him have a reason to place a kiss on her because of the mistletoe hanging around every inch of the academy. Shutting the door shut, she picked up medium-sized Christmas box and shoving it to the Sage’s chest. Inside of it, there were the 2 tickets that she won from the swimsuit contest and 80,000 yen that she had been saving up since she started working here. 

"Merry Christmas, you fool. I got you two gifts since I didn’t give you one on your birthday."

"Trust me, you don't want to..." he muttered, a chill permeating his spine as recalled not only the horrific image Charlotte had produced, but what happened next... "What do you take me for? I came here to seek refuge, not any of that nonsense." The woman took him too lightly sometimes, it would seem.

His attention was returned to the blonde as the box was crudely shoved in his arms. Curiously, he opened the box to find not only the tickets to the luxury hotel, but a rather large sum of money, which he found, quite frankly, unacceptable.

"The holiday sounds enjoyable, and I expect you'll be joining me, however..." he started, placing the money back in the Hokage's hand. "I can't accept this high amount of money. Spending some time away is plenty for both occasions, I'm a man of simple taste after all. Creating some great memories is of greater importance to me than just money.

Remembering his own gift to the fellow Sannin, he procured a small box from his pocket before handing it to her. (contents) "I was a little pressed for time around holiday season this year, but I hope these sorts of gifts are to your liking.

Despite the relaxed atmosphere in the room, Jiraiya quickly recalled the ordeal he'd just been through, and the prompt actions that still needed to be taken in order to bring some peace of mind back to his heart. "Also, this may sound a little out of order, but could you show me to your bathroom? I'm afraid I need to give my throat a thorough rinsing."

[reinadelasrosas]

"Going!! —GOING HOME WITH US!"

Charlotte did a twirl, and brought the kitty close to his heart.

"My precious Sasha-Natasha-Latasha-Anna-Marie-Scufflebutton-Snookiewookums~!! You are going to love your new housie-wousie!! I’ll buy you lots of lacy bonnets and pretty stockings~ Ooh, we can match!"

He danced off with the unfortunate creature held aloft.

[peeping-sage]

It seemed that once Charlotte had set his heart on something, stopping him was merely a futile procedure. As he watched the creature claw at the air in it's vain attempts to breathe, he sympathized with it. Being around the beast that was Charlotte could truly be suffocating at times.

He'd be certain to set the creature free the moment the Fraccion wasn't home.

[peeping-sage]

Merry Christmas

(Inside the box)

Note attached to the box:

Merry Christmas, Jiraiya-sensei. 

I hope you enjoy your gift, maybe it'll help you attract the ladies more. Probably a certain blonde, eh? ;) 

-Kushina

Chuckling lightly at the note, he placed it aside before opening the box. Removing the cologne from the packaging, he sprayed a small amount onto his wrist before taking a whiff.

"Excellent taste as always, Kushina. Thank you!" He'd have to properly thank her later, provided the cologne had the desired effect.

[reinadelasrosas]

JIRIRICHAN YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME

Standing stag-like, chest thrust, slender fists on graceful hips as a cascade of luscious dark curls undulated in the wind, Charlotte guarded the entrance to their building for his old friend and roommate much like some glittery mythical deity. He could not wait to spot the man and show off his festive decorations. Such excitement! Such festivity! The fraccion could not help himself; there was nothing like this back in Hueco Mundo! 

"HAPPY CHRIST, JIRIRI-CHAN!" he bellowed into the distance at the approaching shape which might have been his fellow professor, might have been a tree. Made no difference; he still looked beautiful.

Unbeknownst to the Princess, he was situated squarely beneath a hearty clump of enchanted mistletoe. 

[peeping-sage]

Stumbling home from a long Christmas of feasting, drinking, and of course, shamelessly hitting on co-workers and students alike, the Sage staggered along the pathway leading back to the dormitory. Thankfully he'd not chanced upon his roommate thus far on this festive day, and frankly, even if he were to, it wouldn't spoil the thrills of the day to a great extent.

As he approached the dorm however, the sparkling of what appeared to be a scantily clad young woman captured his attention. Giggling to himself insidiously, with the aid of a nearby wall he shuffled closer to his dorm, just out of sight, to see who it was that awaited him.

....

A cat's whisker away from regurgitating his meal, the Sage stumbled backwards to the pavement in fear of the creature that stood before him. That was no minx, no indeed, it had appeared Santa had delivered Horsezilla for Christmas this year. Dressed in what appeared to be a skimpy Santa costume. Heaving at the ground, the alcohol almost evaporating from his body completely from perspiration, he gathered himself to his feet and began to run.

Hearing the beast chime his name behind, Jiraiya did not let up his speed, hoping whatever this summoned creature may have been, that it didn't give chase. One thing was certain this Christmas Night, he'd not be sleeping at home, until the monster returned to its rightful place in the underworld.

[peeping-sage]

メリークリスマス～

The doorway to Jiraiya's office having been ajar open by doorstop allowed for a different approach to the boy's "anonymous" delivery method, especially since the man was still seated within. Placing the undecorated gift upon ground, the Kiri-nin gently drove it across the surface within the unobstructed threshold with a single foot. Mere moments lapsed before the bearer evacuated the premises.

[Contents: displayed]

Note attached:

自来也先生へ I heard somewhere around campus that you really wanted this. I am not sure what this is exactly, but the clerk did give me an odd look when I purchased it. I do hope you enjoy it. ―白

Stumbling into the empty office to collect a few more bottles from his stash, as the staff gathering had begun to run dry, Jiraiya could not help but notice the package placed nestled beneath the desk. Reading the note, it seemed the carefully wrapped article had been delivered by one of his students. And he'd expected nothing on Christmas.

"Hmmmmm, Haku.... if I remember correctly... the flat chested one?" He'd not interacted with the young one frequently, which made the delivery of the gift a slightly deeper mystery. Yet, he was not one to pass up one's goodwill (with the exception of a certain fraccion), and within no time he'd shredded the wrapping and opened the box.

And he'd thought he'd been good this year. Unsure as to whether the delivery of the gift was a dare from a fellow student, or simply a joke, regardless of the context, the Sannin was not amused. Tossing the box out the window, he scooped up his sake bottles and headed back to the party, his mood mildly soured by the escapades of this 'Haku'. There'd certainly be a stern put forth when school commenced once more.

[peeping-sage]

Hey hey! Your student Minato is here!! You should get him a welcoming present, like red hot habaneros, you know how much he loves those~ ;)

"While it pleases me to hear my old friends been revived for a few more shenanigans, I believe he has his hands full with enough ‘habaneros’ for the time being."

[toadsagejiraiya-deactivated2017]

[reinadelasrosas]

"Tan lotion?" Charlotte pressed a finger to plush lips, contemplative. "Hmm~ No tan lotion! That might be body grease! I’m 40% sure!! Or maybe, Jiriri-chan, you’ve been up to other things? Without my knowing?”

[peeping-sage]

"Don't be ridiculous! The only reason I ever come back here is to sleep, and I can't think of any one else who could possibly be responsible for these incidents. We're the only two that live in this house anymore, for crying out loud! What I do in my spare time is none of your concern, but it certainly doesn't involve this... body grease!"

[sanjl]

我爱你

[iminato]

[peeping-sage]

[Note attached to the box: I didn't know that your birthday passed, Sensei. Please accept these cupcakes as my late birthday gift to you. I hope you like them. -Masaki 

Lightly nudging the box as he opened his door to head out, the Sage was surprised to find the package resting at his doorstep. It was unusual for him to receive gifts at his age on his birthday, especially back home, yet it seemed the custom here was slightly different to what he was used to.

A surge of overwhelming joy came across the old man as he read the details of the note, the sender being none other than the Class 3 cutie herself, Masaki. He'd hoped to have left an impression on her, however this was certainly unexpected.

With gusto in his step, he took a cupcake out of the box, placing the rest on his dresser. He'd certainly have to repay her kindness sometime.

[peeping-sage]

Disintegration Part 2 || Jiraiya + Charlotte || roomies

[reinadelasrosas]

Plucked away most rudely right in the middle of his twice daily beauty sleep, Charlotte was not a happy camper to awaken not in his nest of lace and over-stuffed pillows but in a squalor of mud and rotted flesh. Ew, ew, ew, ew! Charlotte was no stranger to putrid meat, (an unfortunate side-effect of hollow-hood that he really preferred to gloss over), but this was just nasty.

Wrinkling his nose in a most delicate manner, the arrancar daintily stood up and brushed the grime off the seat of his silk bathrobe, merely succeeding in smearing the filth even further. Oh, bother.

A low, baying voice sounded further on, tripping Charlotte’s visceral instinct, which launched his hand towards the hilt of his soul cutter, only to grasp empty air—

And then click.

Suddenly, Charlotte couldn’t feel the air, couldn’t feel other presences, couldn’t feel himself.

He could, however, feel the weight of cold metal dangling from his wrist, far sharper and less comfortable than any diadem or silver bracelet.

Seafoam eyes darted down in alarm, catching the glint of the cuff—handcuff—and then traced the brace to the other end—

Before Charlotte could screech in relief at the familiar face and opened his mouth to spew a veritable litany of questions and concerns when he was most rudely cut off.

"Charlotte    what have you done!?”

”?? Jiriri-chan, what—you don’t think I did this, do you?” He was injured that his beloved roommate would think in such a way, and a splayed palm on his chest conveyed his heartbreak. ”I don’t even know where we are!! One minute, I was taking my power nap, and next thing I know, I’m handcuffed to you!”

The fraccion wagged his finger as if lecturing a particularly naughty dog.

"Not that I mind, because this has happened before, but I usually like to be notified beforehand if you would like to indulge in this particular kink! I do not take to surprise bondage very well!"

[peeping-sage]

"You think I'd be crazy enough to put myself through this!?" he sprayed, ignoring the oaf's apparent heartbreak over the accusation. "I'd sooner submit to Naruto's every whim then shackle my wrist to you. To think this day could get any worse...."

The Sage slumped to his knees, his appearance of nonchalance veiled his deep seeded conceit for the brute, inverted by his sheer despair over the entire situation. All he could manage was the occasional whimper or angry grunt, as he balled his fists into the dirt on the ground. Charlotte's following words, however, would almost tip him over the edge.

"Listen well, Charlotte. Not only have I no interest in partaking in this particular... activity you seem to enjoy, I have also no interest in 'taking you by force', or anything else falling under a similar category. As a legendary lover of women, I'd sooner die then be associated with you in such a way."

He may had sounded harsh, but this entire situation was quickly riding on his nerves, and while dealing with his roommate was normally as easy as leaving their quarters, he'd been granted no such reprieve in this instance. Still, it was no time for mulling over his own qualms, there were more important matters to deal with.

"More importantly, I think it would be in our best interests to find an escape from this city. While I'm not entirely in favor the idea, it looks like we'll have to put our heads together on this one."

[reinadelasrosas]

"JIRIRI-CHAN!" Charlotte gasped, horrified, pressing a delicate palm to his breast. "I would never!! Sasha-Natasha-Latasha-Anna-Marie-Scufflebutton-Snookiewookums here stole me!! She stole my heart~!"

"Hey~ Girls love pussycats, Jiriri-chan~! Take it from me!! You will be oh-so-popular with Sasha-Natasha-Latasha-Anna-Marie-Scufflebutton-Snookiewookums purring away on your arm~!”

[peeping-sage]

Jiraiya made a casual note of ignoring the ridiculous name Charlotte had taken the liberty of bestowing on the poor creature, and would stand firm on his resolve to dispose of the feline as soon as possible. If only he could dispose of all the animals from his dorm.

"You fool! Do you think the mighty Jiraiya, would need a household pet in order to win over the hearts of the ample feminine beauties we are graced with?! Apologies, Charlotte, but I'm more than capable of going it alone. The cat is going, end of discussion."

[grimmujo]

"Can’t. Chuulhourne got his hands on ‘im. You break, you buy, Jiriri-chan.”

"The hell would I put it anyways? The pile a’ corpses outside my window is really startin’ to smell."

[peeping-sage]

"Charlotte will come to accept the loss in time. I can assure you the cat still works exactly as it did when it arrived. No damage to speak of, chump."

"It isn't my business what you do with the cat, or your... corpses. I want it out of my dorm by tomorrow, or I'll throw it out." He couldn't have some feline moulting all over his clothes, especially if it turned out to be as grumpy as it's owner.

[peeping-sage]

shintenshin replied to your post: "Ah, happy birthday Jiraiya-Sama. I'm sorry I did not prepare anything- but any time you want to send flowers, I can arrange them for you free of charge."

"Aiish, you’re as notorious as you were in your youth about the women in your life. Very well then, I can’t possibly deny a legend such as yourself."

"Ahaha! I knew you'd understand! You certainly live up to your womanly reputation, Ino! I'd begun to lose hope with the likes of Tsunade and Sakura about, at least I can rest easy knowing the future of Konoha is bright!"

[peeping-sage]

Olive Branch

"Oh ho~! Is sleepyhead finally awake?" Charlotte tittered, laughter as dainty and crystalline as the voices of songbirds. In one fluid motion, the arrancar knelt back down, retrieving a tray which he set squarely upon his roommate's lap.

"Surprise, surprise~! I made you breakfast in bed!!" And Charlotte flourished his hands around the wicker tray, piled high with his most delicious cuisine (not as high as the sort he made for Lord Baraggan, of course, but still rather up there). 

Two glasses, the slimmer one garnished with rind, of water and lime, the stouter one empty and awaiting the creamy touch of milk stored behind it in a honey-glazed pot. A cup of coffee meekly tucked behind its taller peers, sweetened with splenda for the saccharine soul. There was a miniature pot of french toast cobbler that Charlotte had slaved over, a plate of fresh fruits he'd carved with the skill and intricacy of his master, using only his zanpakutou, (after wiping all the blood off from his accidental brush with one of the waiters he was borrowing the kitchen from), and a metal basket of muffin tops he'd purchased from the bakery with his one wink of his sexy good looks.

"Eat up, Jiriri-chan~! I do hope you like my creation, for it is as beautiful in taste as I am to the eyes!!"

Oh and those eggs he'd put into the cobbler were either from a bird or snake, (Charlotte was 30% sure that it was not snake), because they'd run out of eggs after he'd dramatically cracked his way through three cartons. And there had been no cornstarch, so he'd just squeezed a couple ears of corn and used their juice for a substitute. Also there was no cinnamon, so he creatively mixed hot chili powder and cumin for a similar effect. ...There was also a lack of butter so he had swapped in the same measurement of sour cream.

Dazed, Jiraiya arose from his slumber as he was once again roused by his overzealous roommate. His eyes still adjusting to the light, he sat up slowly, grazing the back of his hand across his eyelids. What was laid out before him when his gaze finally adjusted, admittedly caught him a little by surprise.

The sheer presentation of the meal alone was enough to ensnare the senses, but the array of selection was enough to set the Sage's mouth watering. While the only concern he had was targeted at the oddly colored cobbler, he'd pay it no mind for the time being. Perhaps leaving it until last would be the optimal course of action, just to be safe.

"This is quite the feast you've prepared Charlotte, frankly I'm quite impressed." Despite the hideous appearance of his roommate, for once the Sannin's praises were not false. "I hope this wasn't too much trouble, I'm quite capable of preparing my own meals, you didn't have to do all this for an old codger like me." he said, taking a piece of the freshly cut cantaloupe to his mouth as he poured a small amount of the warm, creamy milk to his coffee. The fruit was crisp, certainly a step up from the shinobi cuisine he'd been dining on until now.

Perhaps Charlotte wasn't quite the trouble he'd thought he was up until now?

[peeping-sage]

"Ah, happy birthday Jiraiya-Sama. I'm sorry I did not prepare anything- but any time you want to send flowers, I can arrange them for you free of charge."

"It’s quite alright, Ino, I’ve had plenty of birthdays in my lifetime. Although, if you’d be so kind, I wouldn’t mind if you could send a few of those flowers in the direction of a few of the cuties around campus. Seeing their pretty faces light up is the greatest gift any man could wish for."