Peer Abuse Chinchilla

This meme is for victims of bullying and peer abuse to share their experiences and find support in a group of people who have gone through similar events themselves.

[skeptikhaleesi]

Abusers can do nice things for people they are not abusing.

Abusers can do nice things for people that they are abusing.

Abusers can otherwise seem like nice, caring, supportive people when they are not actively abusing someone.

It does not mean they’re not fucking abusers.

[peerabusechinchilla]

Top caption: messaged on tumblr by abuser, tell people

Bottom caption:  "calm down, she wasn't even being mean, you're overreacting"

So not only does she go to my school, she now knows my URL. Great, not.

[peerabusechinchilla]

The memegenerator page is set back up! Sorry about that!

[peerabusechinchilla]

Just letting you know - the memegenerator page is giving me a 404 "this page no longer exists on the website" message. I'll try to figure out how to do it with my equivalent of MS Paint for now! :)

Thanks for letting me know! I'll see if I can figure out what happened, and set the meme back up on there if necessary :)

[peerabusechinchilla]

//sQUEALS// so how's the best way for me to do that? submit the memes, that is.

http://peerabusechinchilla.tumblr.com/post/49464371956 This post has the template picture, as well as a link to the meme on memegenerator! When you've created the meme you want, go to http://peerabusechinchilla.tumblr.com/submit and submit them (one at a time, please) as a Photo post. It'll be on the top left corner of the submit box, right above the title of the default text post format.

Also, if you could leave a description for people with screen readers, that would be very much appreciated! You can usually get the description from memegenerator. :)

[peerabusechinchilla]

you still around? 'cause I've got like 8 million ideas for memes.

Hello! Yes, I'm still around, it's just that the meme didn't take off quite like I'd hoped. If you have meme ideas to submit, though, then feel free to submit them! I'm more than content to keep this blog going slowly, if that's more it's speed.

[con-affetto-kiko]

A series of prototype posters I did to address verbal abuse.

I was kind enough to have willing models and a great photographer. Thank you for all your help.

[burrowtheklown]

This is awesome. I approve.

[lesreliquesdelamort]

YES.

[consciouslycontradictory]

8 ways to spot Emotional Manipulation

1. There is no use in trying to be honest with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Example: I am really angry that you forgot my birthday. Response - “It makes me feel sad that you would think I would forget your birthday,I should have told you of the great personal stress I am facing at the moment - but you see I didn’t want to trouble you. You are right I should have put all this pain (don’t be surprised to see real tears at this point) aside and focused on your birthday. Sorry.” Even as you are hearing the words you get the creeped out sensation that they really do NOT mean they are sorry at all - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels like bullshit. If it feels like bullshit - it probably is. Rule number one - if dealing with an emotional blackmailer TRUST your gut. TRUST your senses. Once an emotional manipulator finds a successful maneuver - it’s added to their hit list and you’ll be fed a steady diet of this shit.

2. An emotional manipulator is the picture of a willing helper. If you ask them to do something they will almost always agree - that is IF they didn’t volunteer to do it first. Then when you say, “ok thanks” - they make a bunch of heavy sighs, or other non verbal signs that let you know they don’t really want to do whatever said thing happens to be. When you tell them it doesn’t seem like they want to do whatever - they will turn it around and try to make it seem like OF COURSE they wanted to and how unreasonable you are. This is a form of crazy making - which is something emotional manipulators are very good at. Rule number two - If an emotional manipulator said YES - make them accountable for it. Do NOT buy into the sighs and subtleties - if they don’t want to do it - make them tell you it up front - or just put on the walk-man headphones and run a bath and leave them to their theater.

3. Crazy making - saying one thing and later assuring you they did not say it.If you find yourself in a relationship where you figure you should start keeping a log of what’s been said because you are beginning to question your own sanity —You are experiencing emotional manipulation. An emotional manipulator is an expert in turning things around, rationalizing, justifying and explaining things away. They can lie so smoothly that you can sit looking at black and they’ll call it white - and argue so persuasively that you begin to doubt your very senses. Over a period of time this is so insidious and eroding it can literally alter your sense of reality. WARNING: Emotional Manipulation is VERY Dangerous! It is very disconcerting for an emotional manipulator if you begin carrying a pad of paper and a pen and making notations during conversations. Feel free to let them know you just are feeling so “forgetful” these days that you want to record their words for posterity’s sake. The damndest thing about this is that having to do such a thing is a clear example for why you should be seriously thinking about removing yourself from range in the first place. If you’re toting a notebook to safeguard yourself - that ol’ bullshit meter should be flashing steady by now!

4. Guilt. Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Any thing is fair game and open to guilt with an emotional manipulator. Emotional manipulators seldom express their needs or desires openly - they get what they want through emotional manipulation. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim. They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. Emotional Manipulators seldom fight their own fights or do their own dirty work. The crazy thing is that when you do it for them (which they will never ask directly for), they may just turn around and say they certainly didn’t want or expect you to do anything! Try to make a point of not fighting other people’s battles, or doing their dirty work for them. A great line is “I have every confidence in your ability to work this out on your own” - check out the response and note the bullshit meter once again.

5. Emotional manipulators fight dirty. They don’t deal with things directly. They will talk around behind your back and eventually put others in the position of telling you what they would not say themselves. They are passive aggressive, meaning they find subtle ways of letting you know they are not happy little campers. They’ll tell you what they think you want to hear and then do a bunch of jerk off shit to undermine it. Example: “Of course I want you to go back to school honey and you know I’ll support you.” Then exam night you are sitting at the table and poker buddies show up, the kids are crying the t.v. blasting and the dog needs walking - all the while “Sweetie” is sitting on their ass looking at you blankly. Dare you call them on such behavior you are likely to hear, “well you can’t expect life to just stop because you have an exam can you honey?” Cry, scream or choke ‘em - only the last will have any long-term benefits and it’ll probably wind your butt in jail.

6. If you have a headache an emotional manipulator will have a brain tumor! No matter what your situation is the emotional manipulator has probably been there or is there now - but only ten times worse. It’s hard after a period of time to feel emotionally connected to an emotional manipulator because they have a way of de-railing conversations and putting the spotlight back on themselves. If you call them on this behavior they will likely become deeply wounded or very petulant and call you selfish - or claim that it is you who are always in the spotlight. The thing is that even tho you know this is not the case you are left with the impossible task of proving it. Don’t bother - TRUST your gut and walk away!

7. Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. When an emotional manipulator is sad or angry the very room thrums with it - it brings a deep instinctual response to find someway to equalize the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Stick with this type of loser for too long and you will be so enmeshed and co-dependent you will forget you even have needs - let alone that you have just as much right to have your needs met.

8. Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about what everyone else has “done to them”. One of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the “hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me” variety. Initially you may perceive this type of person as very sensitive, emotionally open and maybe a little vulnerable. Believe me when I say that an emotional manipulator is about as vulnerable as a rabid pit bull, and there will always be a problem or a crisis to overcome.

[redflagarchives]

tw: ableist use of the word crazy

manhatingbabyeater:

So much of this shit perfectly describes my ex-abuser. thank you for this.

And as always, if you are in an abusive relationship, you are not obligated to take advice. Do what feels right for you when you are ready.

[survivorrat]

Top caption: “Just ignore them!”

Bottom caption: Ignoring them makes them try 10x harder to get you to break

Another worthless bit of ‘advice’ on peer abuse.

[survivorrat]

Top caption: Bullied so bad by peers that you contemplate suicide at age 11

Bottom caption: “Kids will be kids”

I hate this excuse more than any other excuse there is for bullying. Because my abusers are kids, it somehow magically excuses the emotional trauma I’ve suffered my entire life at the hands of my peers.

[peerabusechinchilla]

Hey guys! It’s great that this blog has 10 followers so far! :) But it would really help if I got some submissions, too. So far, only two of the chinchilla memes on here have been submissions - all the rest have been drawn from my own personal experiences.

If you can think of anything at all to put on a meme, it would be really helpful for getting this blog moving!

[formerlyknownasvriska-blog]

hey, just a reminder that holding suicide over someone’s head is emotional abuse. if you have someone who tells you that they’ll kill themselves if you leave them, if you stop talking to them, if you do something they do not want you to do, that is abuse- and you have every right to get out of that situation.

[xredcakezx]

This has happend to me and it still bothers me.

[peerabusechinchilla]

Hey guys! It’s great that this blog has 10 followers so far! :) But it would really help if I got some submissions, too. So far, only two of the chinchilla memes on here have been submissions - all the rest have been drawn from my own personal experiences.

If you can think of anything at all to put on a meme, it would be really helpful for getting this blog moving!

[peerabusechinchilla]

Hey guys! It’s great that this blog has 10 followers so far! :) But it would really help if I got some submissions, too. So far, only two of the chinchilla memes on here have been submissions - all the rest have been drawn from my own personal experiences.

If you can think of anything at all to put on a meme, it would be really helpful for getting this blog moving!

[peerabusechinchilla]

Hey guys! It's great that this blog has 10 followers so far! :) But it would really help if I got some submissions, too. So far, only two of the chinchilla memes on here have been submissions - all the rest have been drawn from my own personal experiences.

If you can think of anything at all to put on a meme, it would be really helpful for getting this blog moving!

[peerabusechinchilla]

Top caption: Bullied by classmates in P.E., react by screaming and hiding

Bottom caption: Teacher encourages peers to "make be be more social" and sends them to my hiding place

A horrible example of how peer abuse can be made even worse by the people who are supposed to prevent it.

[peerabusechinchilla]

Top caption: "Popular" peer pinches you so hard on St Patrick's day that half your arm is bruised

Bottom caption: "So? He's pinching everyone, that's just how he is."

Yes, just because he's popular and his parents are rich, it means he can get away with physically abusing half the school, including teachers.