Yep. Still make art. @penandimp - Tumblr Blog

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I got new stuff on the way! I will try to curate old stuff as I go. For now here's a couple of pieces I found in a sketchbook from a few years ago.

#art #spn #supernatural #portrait #painting #misha collins #castiel #acrylic #jensen ackles #deanwinchester #colored pencils

#art #spn #supernatural #portrait #jensen ackles #deanwinchester #posca pens #ballpoint #sharpie

Had my worst pain day in probably 5 years yesterday - but I am feeling more positive today.

Recovery is hard, but I'm trying.

Thanks for the support and well wishes, I appreciate you 💙 💚 🙏🏻

#not art

whump-it-like-its-hot

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

kazoosandfannypacks

Saying "I'm not going to draw this thing because I don't know how to draw this thing" is really shooting yourself in the foot, because you've now cut yourself off from an opportunity to grow.

I had a friend in college who was an absolutely amazing artist. I loved seeing his work! One time I said something to the effect of "I could never do that."

He told me something that, as an artist, I resonate with. He said art isn't about natural talent; it's a learned skill. When you tell an artist their level of skill is impossible for you to reach, you're assuming their level of skill is a natural gifting they have, and it discredits the hundreds to thousands of hours of hard work they've put into getting where they are today, and you're cutting yourself off from trying to reach that point yourself.

what-hos-there

I don't remember where I heard this but I wish I could, because it stuck with me:

Talent is THE RATE at which you learn things, not whether or not you can learn certain skills at all.

And that suddenly clicked for me. I have been very talented with a lot of things in my life and once I realized that I had basically been getting XP multipliers on my normal life experiences, it suddenly felt so much less awful to realize that I did not have the same advantage with other skills I struggle with, and that's okay. I might even have some debuffs on those, and that's okay. It's still all gaining as long as I keep working on it!!

dreamsandcherrypie

what can i say, i’m a whore for a good paper texture

Hi. I just read your latest post, and I just wanted to tell you - hang in there. It's a good thing that you made that post, that you talk about it. I really just wanted to drop by and tell you, hi, here is another (very shy, that's why I'm anonymous) human being reading your words and I'm touched by them and I'm just reaching out in this moment to tell you, hey, you are not alone.

That's really kind of you. I appreciate you taking the time. 💙

I'm always scared to say things that make me feel vulnerable in a public way - but tumblr is the only social media I currently use, and it feels like it doesn't matter anymore. I needed to say the things and I needed someone to hear me on the other end.

Thank you. I appreciate you, fellow human.

I've been feeling like a useless fuck up for the last few years.

I lost my health, my home, and now I'm not sure I can keep doing the job that enables me to keep myself alive.

Last time I felt like I had my art to save me. This time I feel alone.

I want to carry on like there is hope. But I know sometimes there isn't. I'm so tired. I don't know how to make art anymore - the physical process yes, but I don't feel it in my heart. I don't know if I feel anything there right now. I don't know what to do.

What keeps you going when you feel hopeless?

If anyone sees this and is able, please drop a comment. A crumb of interaction would make me feel less like a void wrapped in a flesh suit.

#not art