@pensieriallostatobrado - Tumblr Blog

(if you know the author, please let me know; I could not find the original source)

cisthoughtcrime

heresiae

I need to put this somewhere in order to translate in professional corporation all my frustrating communications

pensieriallostatobrado

https://www.instagram.com/loewhaley/

That’s not my job

This falls outside of my responsibilities but I would be happy to connect you with someone who can help

That sounds like “a you problem”

I believe that falls within your scope of responsibilities but I'm happy to support where it makes sense

This is not my problem

I recommend directing this issue to [name] as they have the proper expertise to best assist you

Why didn't you ask me for this sooner?

Given the tight turnaround it would be been beneficial to have been looped in on this sooner

Stop emailing me so often

To ensure that information does not get lost, let's reduce the frequency of communication so that updates are only provided once more details have been established

I told you so

As per my prediction this outcome does not come as a surprise

Can you do your job and respond to my emails?

With the deadline approaching it’s imperative that I receive this information in order to proceed

You are not my boss

I can look at prioritising this behind my assigned responsibilities, however, I cannot commit to a timeline as my workload is dictated by [insert name]

That meeting sounds like a waste of my time

I’m unable to add value to this meeting but I would be happy to review the minutes

You are overcomplicating this

Be mindful of timelines. Let’s concentrate on the initial scope

I don’t think you understand what’s going on

Moving forward I want to ensure we are aligned

That makes absolutely no sense

There seems to be a disconnect

Stop assigning me so many tasks if you want any of them to get done

As my workload is quite heavy, can you help me understand what I should reprioritize in order to accommodate this new task

Answer my emails

If there is a better way to get in contact with you, please let me know as I am hoping to have this resolved as soon as possible

If you would have read the whole email you’d know the answer to this

I have included my initial email below which contains all of the details you are looking for

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about

Can you help me better understand what exactly is that you require from my end?

Stop micromanaging

I’m confident in my ability to complete this project and will be sure to reach out if or when I require your input

I’m not doing your job for you

I do not have the capacity to take this on in addition to my own workload, but I’m happy to support where it makes sense

I’m not staying late to deal with this

My workday concludes at 5, but I would be happy to prioritize this first thing tomorrow

Stop CCing everyone

To optimise communication perhaps we can target these emails to a more focus group

Please hurry up and get this done

It is important that we have this completed in order to meet our targeted deadlines which are quickly approaching

Stay in your own lane

Thank you for your input, I’ll keep that in mind as I move forward with the decisions that fall within my responsibility

I’ve told you this multiple times

There seems to be a disconnect here as this information has already been provided

Stop bombarding me with messages

To ensure that information does not get missed, can you please condense your communication into a single email where possible?

That sounds like a horrible idea

Are we confident that this is the best solution or are we still exploring alternatives?

I already told you this

As indicated prior…

Can you answer all the questions I asked and not just pick and choose one?

Are you able to provide some clarity around the other questions previously asked?

Did you even read my email?

Reattaching my email to provide further clarity

I’ll provide an update when I have one, stop bothering me

You have not heard from me because further information is not available at this time. Once I have an update I’ll be sure to loop you in

I don’t want to talk to you right now

I’m currently tied up with something, but I will connect with you once I’m free

Do your job

It is my understanding that you are the appropriate person to contact regarding this, but if there is someone better equipped for this, please let me know

Check your inbox, I already sent this to you

I previously sent you an email regarding that but please let me know if something went wrong in transit

I could not care less

I will defer to your judgement on it as I am not passionate either way and I trust your expertise

Stop ignoring my emails

I understand this is a busy time and if it's easier for you to jump on a call I am happy to set up some time in order to get this resolved

Stop disrespecting me

Our effectiveness would benefit a greater level of respect and professionalism than what I currently feel is being displayed

We do not need to have a meeting about this

Being respectful of everyone’s time, let’s discuss this through email until we have a more defined agenda

Did you just take credit for my work?

It is great to see my ideas being exposed to a wider audience and I would have appreciated the opportunity to have been included in the delivery

Google that for yourself

The Internet is a great resource for these types of questions and I am available to clarify elements that you are not able to find online

What you are saying does not make sense

Professional: We seem to have a different understanding on this. Can you elaborate further on your thought process here?

I’m not paid enough to do this

This falls outside my current job description but if the opportunity for a role expansion becomes available I would be happy to discuss reworking my contact to better align with these new responsibilities

I totally forgot about your email

Thank you for your patience

I’m going to need a lot more details if you want me to do this

Please let me know when further details become available as I require more information to successfully complete this task

Stop trying to call me before my workday even starts

If you need to contact me, please note that my working hours begin at 8 AM and communication received prior to this will not be seen

Stop interrupting me

Thank you for your input Jeff but please wait until I’m finished sharing my thoughts before proceeding

Stop ignoring my meeting request

Your attendance is required for this discussion. If this date/time does not work on your end please propose a new time that works for you

I told you so and now this is your problem

I did previously note that this was a likely outcome How do you plan to resolve this?

Our deadline is approaching. Hurry up.

As our deadline is quickly approaching, can you provide an update as to where you are in completing this task?

Stop trying to make me do your work

I’m not able to offer your additional support in completing your workload as I'm at capacity with my own assigned responsibilities

#loewhaley #corporate translation

gigiopix

pensieriallostatobrado

gigiopix‌:

Supponiamo che stiate cercando un posto dove portare a cena la vostra dolce metà. Avete entrambi fame, ma non desiderate infilarvi semplicemente nel primo locale che vi capita, puntate ad un posto decisamente carino (e possibilmente non caro). Avete a disposizione il tempo per dare un'occhiata al massimo a 10 ristoranti prima che la persona cara che vi accompagna si stanchi di girovagare. Non volete apparire indecisi e quindi non tornerete in un ristorante dopo che lo avete scartato. La strategia migliore è di iniziare a guardare, valutare e rifiutare a priori un certo numero di locali, per farsi un'idea di quello che c'è sulla piazza, e poi scegliere il primo fra i successivi che sia migliore di tutti quelli visti fino a quel momento. Il problema è: quanti ristoranti dovreste valutare e rifiutare prima di prendere una decisione, qual è il momento migliore per fermarsi? La matematica dietro a questo problema, noto come il “problema dell'arresto ottimale”, non è affatto semplice, ma il risultato è che dovreste valutare e rifiutare all'incirca il primo 37% dei ristoranti (arrotondato a 3 se ce ne sono soltanto 10) prima di accettare tra i successivi il primo che sia migliore di tutti i precedenti. Più precisamente, dovreste rifiutare 1/e delle opzioni possibili, dove e=2,718281828… è il numero di Nepero (o di Eulero); quindi la frazione 1/e è approssimativamente 0,368 o, come percentuale, circa il 37%. La figura mostra come varia la probabilità di scegliere il migliore tra 100 ristoranti al variare del numero di ristoranti che vengono esclusi. In effetti, come ci si aspetterebbe, quando vi affrettate a prendere una decisione, senza pensarci troppo, di fatto state facendo un tentativo alla cieca e pertanto la probabilità è decisamente bassa. D'altronde, anche quando esitate troppo a lungo è come se vi foste lasciati indietro l'opzione migliore. La probabilità di scegliere l'opzione migliore è massimizzata quando valutate e rifiutate le prime 37 opzioni e poi accettate la successiva che sia migliore di tutte quelle che avete visto precedentemente. Il metodo non vi garantirà di trovare il ristorante migliore (la probabilità, infatti, è del 37% soltanto, il ristorante migliore potrebbe essere nel primo 37 per cento, cioè tra quelli che avete scartato), ma rimane comunque la strategia migliore in generale. La regola dell'arresto ottimale non vale solo per i ristoranti, e anzi negli anni Sessanta del secolo scorso era noto come il “problema della segretaria”, o “problema del matrimonio”, perché simile alla situazione di un datore di lavoro che esamina una lista di candidate o di un uomo (o una donna) che analizza un elenco di potenziali consorti, dovendo decidere come scegliere la candidata migliore. Oggi l'arresto ottimale (“optimal stopping”, in inglese) trova applicazione in ambito finanziario per stabilire quando è il momento di ridurre le perdite su un investimento o di esercitare un diritto di opzione; in ambito medico per calcolare il momento migliore per interrompere un particolare trattamento; in zoologia per decidere il momento migliore per smettere di studiare una vasta popolazione di animali in cerca di nuove specie, evitando in questo modo di sprecare soldi nella ricerca di qualcosa che probabilmente non esiste.

(via Prof. Vincenzo Giordano)

catchymemes

wolpaw

When the last human is finally destroyed

spaam-deactivated20220206

Prendiamo la frase “una bugia ripetuta tante volte diventa la verità”; per ricordare un’informazione (vera o falsa che sia) bisogna ribadirla più e più volte. Questa legge, però, ha un corollario molto più interessante, ma meno scontato: le informazioni che già avevate e relative a quella notizia, nel frattempo, tenderanno ad essere dimenticate più facilmente di quelle non correlate ad essa. Questo fenomeno si chiama Retrieval-induced forgetting (RIF), noto anche come “ce l’ho proprio qui sulla punta della lingua!”.