Pentacular

Pentacular My life is filled with words, they tumble through my heart and soul and flow through my mind…I carefully examine them for worthiness and I desire that they hold firm. Some of them do. Those are the words that for me, are pentacular. Words that send me anxiously searching for a pen in order to record them. This blog is about those words, the words that ache to make the journey from my spirit to the outside world. var sc_project=7001368; var sc_invisible=0; var sc_security="13081844"; var sc_project=11694979; var sc_invisible=0; var sc_security="18c2d718"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[pentacular]

This Is A Test

This is just a test. 

It is not a real post.

It is just a test. 

If it had been a real post there would have been hashtags. 

I would have checked a thousand times to see if there had been any likes.

I would have thought about what I said and wondered if it would still be true for me in a week, a month, a year. 

If this had been a real post I would have smiled when I posted it, 

because you know-sharing is caring. 

But it wasn’t a real post. 

It was just a test. I don’t even care at all.

I said as I posted it with a smile. 

[pentacular]

Graduation

I’m trying to remember that saying goodbye to a special connection with you isn’t the end of the world, it’s more like the end of highschool. I’ll see you again somewhere along the path of time. You will be sexy as hell and I will smile, knowing you were my private hell once: dark,hot, and mysterious...until without saying a word we both somehow knew it was time to graduate and go on to other learning experiences. 

[pentacular]

Genesis

I know I acted surprised when I saw you.

Standing there in your colorful sock feet

fresh from the Hamptons, hanging out with your friends.

But the truth is

I wasn’t. 

I had invoked you earlier in the day. 

Thinking, “I miss his face. I hope he is doing well. It would be great to see him. To let him know how happy I am that he is doing well.” 

So when your iconic shape walked towards me

I wasn’t surprised. 

Just delighted. 

[pentacular]

Beauty Reborn

The beauty of you has absolutely nothing to do with the body you are living in today. I’m in awe of all you have been through in all of time and space and the courage you have every time you begin again. 

[pentacular]

Effortlessly you slipped past my defenses. 

Effortlessly you slipped past my fear. 

Effortlessly you slipped past my what if’s and what will people think? 

Effortlessly you made me smile, over and over. 

Effortlessly you made me open my thoughts to new perceptions of what was and what could be. 

Effortlessly you captured my imagination and slid into my dreams. 

Effortlessly you made me laugh at life, finding joy for no reason. 

Effortlessly you slid yourself inside of me. 

Effortlessly you were able to fashion a new truth for me.

Effortlessly you challenged my beliefs and made me wonder what all my efforts were for. 

[pentacular]

Music 

How do I thank you for the gentleness of you? 

For the ways you touch old wounds and heal them with your presence? 

Providing light to darkness and music to silence? 

[pentacular]

Dear Middle-Aged Woman twirling your stick-straight, silver-brown hair, driving an oversized white van while sitting at a stop light, I can’t help but wonder as I glance over at you what you are thinking about as you sit there licking your thin dry lips, the crow’s feet around your bright eyes wrinkling as the world seems forgotten in favor of your inner fantasies. Drive joyfully sweet friend, drive joyfully!

[pentacular]

As I drove home from a long day, I couldn’t stop thinking about your hands. Slender fingers, perfectly proportioned. I am enamored with your hands.  How perfectly they felt intertwined with mine as if your hands were made just to connect with me.  A circuit completed. I always tell you I don’t need anyone to complete me, yet, there you are...electrifying my life and I never even realized I was unplugged. 

[pentacular]

Blended

You reached out and held my hand, like cinnamon and sugar we blended together until I wasn’t sure anymore which of us was sweet and which was spicy. 

[something-like-scripture]

I don’t want you to put me back together. I want you to witness my unfolding; when my heart breaks it will not be a sharp snap, It will be A symphony.

a.g.case (via something-like-scripture)

[pentacular]

Pass

The shadows of the past

Don’t bother me now

Because deep down I know

All things,  the perceived good and the perceived bad, 

Will all someday transform. 

This too shall pass.

[pentacular]

Sangfroid

I fall deep into your green eyes. 

Eyes that calm. 

Eyes that detect. 

Eyes that pulled me in when I had no intention 

of being pulled in. 

Eyes that make me forget the whole world around me. 

Eyes that make me ignore time, distance, weather.

Was there a crowd around us? 

I didn’t see it. I didn’t hear it. I didn’t feel it. 

I saw your green eyes. 

Your smile. 

I heard your laughter. 

I was in a deep forest of peace,

And all was calm. 

[pentacular]

Take Flight:   In a slow cascade of light I watched the sun turn from a golden ball to a brilliant white. Birds on their wire perches sang their gossip with powerful voices filled with all that might... How quickly life can change as dreams take flight

[pentacular]

All Good

I gather up friends where friends didn’t know they needed my friendship.

 I lavish love, melting through defenses that have been built up by people I have never met.

 I am curious about you.

 About the deep canyons that have been carved in your life.

 About your warm smiles when no one is around. 

About the music you dance to in the quiet moments before the light wakes your eyes.

 I want to know what makes you feel new, precious, divine, and what makes you feel destroyed, bludgeoned, and misaligned.

 And when I know those things,

 I want to look straight into your eyes and tell you with an honest heart, “It’s all good.”

 “You are all good.”  

[pentacular]

Right

You were right about

so many things. 

Even the many things,

I didn’t want to admit you were right about. 

But the one important thing

you were wrong about,

was your stubborn belief

that I never loved you. 

[pentacular]

Loving You. Loving Me.  I try very hard  to remember  that loving you does not exclude loving me,  and  loving me does not have to exclude loving you.

[pentacular]

Articulate

I need you to understand.

 Words are my medium. 

My love.

 My breath. 

But when it comes to you,

 every single word I can think of

 is

inadequate

 to describe how I feel.