lost in the dream @pepe-chae - Tumblr Blog

Nov 30, 2017

IN BLOOM | 1

Characters: Im Changkyun/I.M (feat. Shin Hoseok/Wonho, Lee Jooheon) Reader: Gender Not Specified (They/Them/Theirs) Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease AU, Pan+Poly(?) Hoseok, Coffee Shop AU, Flower Shop AU TW: Blood, Body Horror, Vomiting Summary: Changkyun struggles with an unrequited crush on his best friend’s significant other and the sickness that accompanies it. Hoseok tries to help him cope. Word Count: 6210 A/N: Jooheon’s significant other is named Jungmin because it's a unisex name, so interpret their gender however you like. Reader is NOT Jungmin, hang in there and they will eventually appear ;; Parts: one, two, three, four, final Listen To: KNK - Sun Moon Star, The Rose - Like We Used To, Highlight - It’s Still Beautiful

As everyone around the table laughed and enjoyed each other's company, Changkyun clutched at his jeans underneath the table. His eyes prickled with tears he blinked back easily. No, he couldn’t just leave. It was an oh so rare moment where everyone could clear their schedules to go out for dinner and drinks. Usually, the get-togethers consisted of only Hoseok, Changkyun, and Minhyuk. The night would go by rather uneventfully, and then they would be on their way home. The other five always had another affair to attend to, whether it be work or romance related. Today, however, everyone had come: including the cause of his stress.

The chatter between his friends dulled in his ears as he tried to shift his thoughts. He was used to this, he could soldier through. His hand above the table picked at his food, pushing the meal around on the plate. His behavior didn't seem to attract any attention, thankfully. Everyone was too busy laughing at Jooheon’s story, ensnared by his dramatic imitations and occasional whines of “Am I telling the story or are you?” With the sound of a far too familiar giggle, Changkyun gagged as he felt the stirring of his stomach. No, not here. Not now! With the screech of his chair as he stood, he quickly excused himself from the dinner table to rush to the bathroom. While his friends found his rushing away odd, none found it strange enough to follow him as they quickly returned their attention back to Jooheon and his tale. As Changkyun rushed to the stall, he let loose a scratchy, painful cough. A couple of petals escaped his mouth, shooting out from the back of his throat painfully. He arched over the toilet bowl, finally allowing the petals to escape from him. Please not here! Please not now! He begged, trying to force the flowers down. His eyes stung with tears, embarrassment filling his every fiber. His throat burned, stinging as if he had swallowed a heaping handful of tacks.

"Changkyun, are you okay?" a voice called into the bathroom. He pressed his hand to his mouth, desperately trying to stifle the gags. He coughed, however, and the voice called his name once more. A soft knock at his stall door scared him, causing him to spit out the rough petals. Some missed the toilet, falling onto his shirt and to the floor.

"Changkyun," Hoseok's voice called softly from the other side of the stall door, "I know you're here. It's just me."

Changkyun reached behind him and unlocked the door before whirling around to expel more flowers. He didn't hold back, however, because Hoseok was the only one he had told about this. Hoseok was the only one he trusted. He vaguely told Hoseok about the flowers, the day he first experienced them, everything. Everything except for who caused him to feel this way, to experience this pain. Between bouts of heaving, he felt Hoseok’s warm hand patting gently on his back.

"They're called delphinium," Hoseok murmured as he rubbed Changkyun's back. Somehow between his racing thoughts, Changkyun had the time to remember his hyung’s job at the local flower shop. The stall filled with his retching before Hoseok spoke again, "Mine are lilies."

Changkyun felt his heart drop at the soft confession. He hadn't known or even guessed that Hoseok had experienced the same exact pain. He had wondered why Hoseok had been so accepting of his situation, how he never once questioned him or judged him. Hoseok hummed quietly as he rubbed Changkyun's back, effectively soothing him. As the final petals fell, Changkyun coughed as the rawness of his throat hit him fully. Hoseok’s face lit up with a realization, hands patting at each of his pockets in a frenzied search.

"Oh yeah, here," Hoseok offered, holding out a plastic wrapped candy. His expression was gentle and Changkyun wanted nothing more than to hug him. He decided that it would be weird to hug in the men’s room. Changkyun took the candy with shaky hands, unwrapping it quickly and popping it into his mouth. A mixture of extremely sour and equally extremely sweet flooded his tastebuds while Hoseok laughed at his expression. "It has honey and lemon in it, to soothe your throat," Hoseok explained, standing from his crouched position to help Changkyun stand. He opened the stall door, standing in the newly emptied space and effectively cornering Changkyun.

"Thank you," Changkyun started but Hoseok raised his hand and stopped him quickly.

"It's no problem! I just... wish you would tell me who it is, so we can work around it. I want to be able to help you more, you know? I want to be able to help you avoid this." Hoseok kicked at the tiled floor, knowing the conversation was getting deeper than either of them really wanted it to. Changkyun gulped, avoiding eye contact.

"Jungmin." Changkyun said after a long pause. "It's Jungmin." He contemplated rushing out of the stall and further out of the men’s room but couldn’t bring himself to actually move.

"Jungmin, our Jungmin? The one who is dating Jooheon? Or is it the one from the coffee shop?" Hoseok asked. Changkyun sighed, wishing Hoseok had assumed it was the pretty cute barista from the coffee shop they frequented together. He cursed his legs mentally for being unable to carry him away.

"Jooheon's Jungmin, our Jungmin. That's why we can't just work around this. They're always together, and Jungmin has always been with us. I just have to get over my stupid feelings and it will be done!" Changkyun frowned.

"You know it doesn't work that way," Hoseok said sadly, "Once the flowers show up, it's finished. You'll never forget your feelings."

"It has to work," Changkyun said. He flushed the toilet and they walk back to the dinner table, pretending nothing ever happened.

It was later that night as they lay down to sleep in Changkyun’s apartment that he finally had to say everything he had ever felt about Jungmin. Hoseok had insisted on staying the night, whining in the restaurant about how Changkyun "didn't care" about him anymore and that they were "drifting apart" as they waited for the check. Minhyuk had laughed, arguing that they had ran off to the bathroom to gossip seconds ago and Hoseok had loudly protested that Changkyun was just taking a dump. As Jungmin laughed, Changkyun felt his stomach stir and began to worry again. Luckily Hoseok noticed Changkyun’s abrupt change in mood and insisted to everyone to leave the check to him. The table cleared instantaneously as everyone rushed away before he could have a chance to go back on his word. Changkyun thanked him as the last of their friends scurried away and Hoseok just smiled at him sadly.

Hoseok had lain next to him in bed, turned to look at him. Changkyun faced the ceiling; it was easier to talk about it when he didn't have to make eye contact with the older boy. His hands shook beneath the covers, clinging desperately to the sheets as his breaths came out ragged and shaky. He mentally cursed the full moon for illuminating the room so brightly, wishing Hoseok couldn’t see him at all.

"When did you know you loved Jungmin?" Hoseok asked softly. Changkyun assumed Hoseok was speaking so quietly because he thought Changkyun would break. As if with the sound of his usual, booming voice Changkyun would shatter like broken glass and that would be the end of him. He decided he was only being too dramatic. He took a deep breath before explaining as quickly as he could.

"I guess I always loved Jungmin. I mean, Jooheon, Jungmin, and I were friends since preschool. We have a lot of memories together, and Jungmin was my first kiss. I figured it was normal to feel so attached to your childhood friends. I didn't know exactly what I felt until they were dating. My feelings never changed, I just became aware, you know? It's like I realized that it was love, not just attachment," Changkyun sighed. He tore his hands from the bedsheets and picked at the skin around his fingernails instead, the high pitched noise of his nails against the sheets irritating him.

"Did the flowers show up when Jooheon told us they were dating?"

"No, it started later. I guess I didn't let it hit me entirely until, well, you know. I've told you this."

"Remind me. It helps to talk about it more. You also told me without a lot of details, so I want to be able to help you with all of the facts set straight," Hoseok mumbled. Changkyun looked at him from the corner of his eye, surprised that Hoseok was so serious. The older boy focused on him, eyes seeming to pierce through the dark straight into his soul.

"The day Jooheon bought the promise rings. You know, the fancy matching ones he got custom made. He bragged and bragged to me and I knew I was feeling weird but I didn't even excuse myself. I figured that if I got up and left, he’d know how I feel and he would hate me for it. The vomit came first, and I threw up on his lap. Then I ran to the restroom and threw up normally for a bit and then the petals came. Why is it the first time there's only a few but as time passes there's only petals?"

"I remember Jooheon crying because you had thrown up on him, but we figured it was that stomach illness that Kihyun had. Kihyun made a valid point too. You had shared a cup when he was sick and everyone agreed that you were sick. I wish I had at least checked with you. Then you wouldn't have had to suffer alone for those 3 months," Hoseok pouted, "Also, it's like that for everyone. The first time is a few petals, barely enough to notice. As time passes your feelings become insufferable, so the petals become more abundant. At least that's what I've heard."

"No one has ever gotten rid of them by themselves?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"I guess I'll be the first."

"You will," Hoseok smiled sadly, reaching over and brushing his fingers through Changkyun's hair as his voice began cracking. He placed his hand over the younger boy's eyes as the tears fell, whispering quiet assurances of "you're okay" and "it's okay to let it out" among others. It was when Changkyun started coughing that Hoseok got out of bed and led him to the bathroom. As Changkyun expelled the physical embodiment of his suffering, Hoseok sat behind him patting his back. Changkyun cried as the last petals fell, his stomach slowly growing heavy again.

"You know, it's best to sleep on your side. You can have dreams and wake up inhaling the petals. Some people haven't woken up at all and have died that way," Hoseok warned.

"Are you speaking out of experience?"

"I haven't died before so no," Hoseok joked, Changkyun turning around to punch him lightly. "In actuality, yes. Flower petals are a bitch to inhale and they're a bitch to exhale. You have to get them out of your lungs but that's easier said than done. It takes a lot of heavy exhaling and hacking that leaves you light headed. Some people have to get help from doctors."

"Who is it?" Changkyun asked suddenly.

"Hm, I forgot," Hoseok cackled. Changkyun punched him harder this time, turning back to face the toilet bowl as he started gagging. As he started expelling petals again, Hoseok finally spoke.

"It would be best I don't say who. For you and for me. I'm here to take care of you, not to fight you for who gets first dibs on the toilet bowl," Hoseok answered, joking gently and patting Changkyun's back once more. Changkyun pretended he didn't hear the slight quiver in Hoseok’s voice. As Changkyun's stomach completely emptied once more, he sighed in relief when his stomach didn't immediately start to grow heavy again, pushing himself to his feet and flushing the toilet. Hoseok sat on the floor, reaching up and grabbing Changkyun's hand to pull himself up. They returned to bed, Changkyun turning his back to Hoseok and Hoseok faced the ceiling.

"Goodnight," Changkyun said, just wanting the day to end.

"Goodnight," Hoseok replied softly. Changkyun felt a wave of sympathy wash over him as he felt Hoseok turn onto his side, now knowing the meaning behind the seemingly simple motion.

The next morning, Changkyun woke to the sound of Hoseok retching. He shot up in bed, quickly rushing to the bathroom to Hoseok's side. The sight of Hoseok sat on the tile floor while clinging to the toilet bowl weakly tore at Changkyun's heart. Hoseok was always so strong, always helping him and comforting him. It broke his heart to see the one person he felt was the strongest in such a position. He sat behind Hoseok, similarly to how Hoseok had sat behind him the night before and pat his back gently. As time passed, Hoseok finally finished purging the flowers from his system. He turned from the toilet bowl, reaching for toilet paper and wiping as his mouth gently. Changkyun gulped, tears pricking his eyes as he processed the dark red staining the paper.

"What does this mean?" he asked hoarsely. His blood felt like ice in his veins and his heart hammered wildly. He took a deep breath, his chest feeling tight. Hoseok held his hand up in signal to wait as he spit a glob of blood out into the toilet.

"I woke up on my back. I had inhaled too many petals so this is because of that. I'm not dying Changkyun. This happens sometimes and it's okay because I didn't die. I could have suffocated but I didn't. So I always look at this as a positive thing. Don't worry, I'm fine," Hoseok smiled gently as he finished talking. He stared at the petals in the toilet before flushing and standing up. Changkyun stared in confusion as he glanced at the swirling petals, meeting Hoseok's eyes quickly. Hoseok bit his lip and turned his head to the floor, swallowing quickly.

"There are two types of lilies," Changkyun stated simply. Hoseok nodded. His hair clung to his sweaty forehead, eyes red and puffy. Changkyun felt his heart twist in his chest, finally processing that no one is strong all of the time.

"There are two types of lilies," Hoseok confirms.

"That means there are two people?" Changkyun asked. Hoseok nodded, running his hands over his face. He brushed his fingers through his hair, refusing to meet Changkyun's eyes.

"I don't want to talk about this right now," Hoseok said, "I'm here to help you. Not to talk about me. It's been years, I've gotten over it. There's nothing I can do but live with this."

"Have you ever talked about it or do you just avoid it like you're doing right now?" Changkyun’s words left his mouth before he could process what he was saying. As soon as the last word fell from his lips, his mind churned with regret. Why did he feel the need to push Hoseok to speak? Before he could even think of how to apologize, Hoseok snaps.

"Changkyun, stop."

Changkyun turned his head to the floor, muttering an apology before heading to the kitchen. The harsh tone Hoseok used replayed in his head like a broken record. He wandered around the small kitchen for a few seconds, lost in his thoughts. He sighed as he began making coffee, hands shaking slightly. He bit the inside of his cheek, regretting pushing Hoseok to talk. He leaned against the counter as he waited for the coffee to brew, mind swirling and eyes prickling with tears. He stared at the miniscule dinner table, the two chairs tucked in neatly. His happy plan of breakfast and video games useless. He created a situation where there was no simple happiness and he felt like he ruined their entire friendship. He decided he was being melodramatic and that he should apologize to Hoseok over coffee. Before the coffee even finished brewing, reconciliation came knocking.

"Hey, sorry for snapping at you," Hoseok's voice called weakly from the living room. Changkyun wiped his eyes quickly before turning and walking to where Hoseok was. The mess of Changkyun’s shoes sat in a pile by the door, Hoseok’ placed neatly beside the pile. On the arm of the couch laid Hoseok’s jacket, his apartment keys dangling from the pocket. Hoseok sat beside his jacket on the couch, elbows on his knees with his face in his hands. Changkyun found himself picking at his fingernails again, anxious to make up.

"It's not your fault, I was pushing you to talk and I shouldn't have."

"No, you were right. I don't talk about it. I avoid it. I never told anyone about it."

"Hoseok, it's fine."

"No. I need to talk about it," Hoseok whimpered, face still buried in his hands. His shoulders shook with every word, tears choking up his voice. Changkyun kneeled in front of him, stroking his hair gently.

"Take your time," Changkyun murmured, Hoseok taking ragged breaths before beginning. With a shaky exhale, he began softly.

“I guess I need to explain a lot. More than just who it is, it’s who they were to me. I don't think I will be able to explain everything though. I don't think I can handle that today. Forgive me,” Hoseok began, voice cracking between sniffles. Changkyun kept running his fingers through Hoseok’s hair gently, hoping to comfort him in some shape or form. He held his tongue to assure his curiosity wouldn’t cross a line, and Hoseok continued. “We were the best of friends through thick and thin. We started as childhood friends and it always felt as if we were closer than the other kids. When I was in my third year of college when we finally started dating. We dated for two years and talked about living our lives together and our plans for our future. He was sweet and perfect and everything was going great. We had only lived together for three months when he started growing distant and a month after that the flowers started appearing. I hid them from him for the longest time. I was afraid that if he knew, he would realize that he didn’t really love me anymore. That would be the end. So I kept it a secret and hoped I could make him fall back in love with me. I tried everything but he didn’t seem to care anymore. He had started to say we were better as friends, that maybe things were better the way they used to be. One day he came home and found me purging the petals. He grabbed his stuff and left as if that’s what he was waiting for. It was like he wanted to see flowers to assure himself that he truly didn’t love me anymore. He sent me their wedding invitation a year later. The tiger lily is for him. Confidence. I’m not sure what the fuck that means but I’ve been told the flowers reflect on either you or the object of your affections.”

“Tiger lily,” Changkyun hummed quietly to himself, standing to lead Hoseok to the restroom at the sound of him gagging. He sat beside the older boy as the petals spilled from his mouth, the orange of the mass of tiger lilies dominating the white of the others. Once he finished, Hoseok leaned his head over to Changkyun, resting on his shoulder. The silence was filled with Hoseok’s ragged breaths before he continued.

“The other was a co-worker at the record shop I worked at. They knew of all of this and were helping me heal at the time. I fell so hard and so fast that I didn’t know I was even in love with them. That is, until the day I had a breakdown and called them in the middle of a date I had no idea they were on. They ended up showing up at my apartment later that night after their date but by then I had passed out. It just… broke my will and I went to bed that night knowing the risks and woke up in the hospital with them clutching my hand and apologizing the whole time. I had inhaled too many flowers and they had found me struggling to breathe in my sleep. The doctor told them I had two types of flowers and they somehow just knew the other was because of them. They apologized and stayed with me until I fell asleep. I never saw them again. Hell, I don’t even know where they went. That’s where I met Hyungwon. It was his second night as an ER intern and he had to help with emptying my lungs. When I woke up he was the one to tell me that my coworker said goodbye. He stayed with me and helped me heal and we stayed in touch. I trusted him so much I introduced him to all of you and here we are now.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Changkyun gulped. He felt his eyes well with tears at the thought of how long this had been going on. Hyungwon had been introduced into their friend group two years ago, sleepy-eyed and grinning. Hoseok had introduced the dorky boy with a smile, claiming Hyungwon had saved his life when he was hospitalized for a severe case of the flu. Changkyun remembered Hoseok wrapped up in his scarf with a face mask on and how hoarse his voice was for a couple of weeks. It all made sense suddenly and he felt tears well in his eyes.

Hoseok hung his head, turning to the toilet and leaning over it silently, waiting with tears in his eyes. He sat there for a solid minute before the retching began. Changkyun stood up with a soft ‘I’ll be back’ as he rushed to the couch to rummage through Hoseok’s jacket pocket for the honey candies. He returned with a handful, offering them to the now empty Hoseok who accepted with a sad smile.

“White lilies represent humility,” Hoseok said gently, popping two candies into his mouth and tucking one into each of his cheeks.

“Cute,” Changkyun reached out and pinched the older boy’s cheek, smiling sadly and pulling away.

“Can we have some ramen for breakfast?” Hoseok asked.

“No way, you freak.” Changkyun laughed, standing and pulling Hoseok up with him.

“It feels good on a sore throat,” Hoseok whined, jamming his shoulder into the giggling boy.

“Whatever,” Changkyun teased, rushing to fulfill the request.

“What do delphinium mean?” Changkyun asked Hoseok at work a week later. Curiosity had been eating him up since Hoseok had told him the flowers could possibly represent someone. Hoseok looked up from his arrangement, biting his lip as he fidgeted with the ribbon spool.

“Infinite possibility if I remember correctly,” Hoseok said reluctantly. Changkyun raised an eyebrow, causing Hoseok to shrug with a “Hell if I know what it means to you.”

Changkyun leaned over the counter, having happily offered to help Hoseok out with the shop for the day since his boss would be out for the week and his coworker he was supposed to share the shift with called in sick. The shop was homely and warm, the flowers bloomed beautifully. The windows of the shop took up the entire wall that faced the street and were decorated with live flowers. The flowers were arranged just so, the colors and shapes set up beautifully. The ceiling of the shop had exposed beams with rows and rows of plants hanging from them. Changkyun wondered if Hyungwon would hit his head on a hanging pot if he walked in. The shop also had cute tables and benches for customers to wait comfortably, and the coffee shop next door shared the open patio for customers to relax in. Hoseok took pride in showing Changkyun the decorated patio that he did all on his own. While the shop was beautiful and quaint, the flowers all released their unique scents in the small space. Changkyun didn’t realize just how strong the scent of flowers was in the shop when he had volunteered and the once pleasant smell was suddenly overwhelming to the point of a headache. Regret seeped from every pore to the point that Hoseok had offered for him to just leave but Changkyun made a promise and he was going to keep it dammit. As Changkyun sulked on the stool with his head resting on the counter, he watched Hoseok work. Hoseok huffed for the billionth time and rearranged the floral arrangement within the vase before pulling them all out to start again.

“Changkyun, what’s missing from this?” he whined, gathering the flowers and holding them out.

“I don’t know? A flower?” Changkyun scoffed, laughing when the older boy reached out to punch his shoulder. “Fine, fine, try yellow chrysanthemums.”

“You said no to those earlier,” Hoseok growled. He tossed the spool of ribbon before adding the flowers and positioning them just so within the arrangement. “There, it looks great!”

“Yeah, yeah, but when do you ever get customers?”

“Around lunchtime is when we get the most customers but most are either online or over the phone. Our usual customers are business owners and real estate agents who buy in bulk. Not many people buy flowers for the hell of it anymore,” Hoseok sighed right as the door chimed with the arrival of a customer. Changkyun perked up from his slouched position, plastering on a welcoming smile.

“Welcome,” Changkyun called out happily before tossing the spool of ribbon teasingly, “Oh it’s only you.”

“Shut up, I’m a paying customer brat,” Jooheon scowled, bending over to pick up the fallen ribbon. The brim of his cap covered his face as he bent over but Changkyun knew he was smiling widely.

“Place an order then,” Hoseok sighed as he placed the vase by the other displays. He quickly pulled a pen and notepad from his canvas apron, waiting patiently as Jooheon pulled out his phone.

“Yeah, I don’t know names but these are Jungmin’s favorite flowers,” Jooheon smiled, holding out a picture on his phone.

“Red dahlias, okay. Do you want a vase or a normal bouquet?” Hoseok said quickly. His demeanor changed and all he focused on was rushing to get Jooheon out of the store as Changkyun’s face paled.

“What’s more romantic?” Jooheon grinned, resting his elbows on the counter. He bat his eyelashes cutely and flashed his dimples. Hoseok tried not to cringe at how lovesick Jooheon was. Changkyun’s hand rested on his knee, knuckles turning white as he gripped at his jeans.

“Bouquets, Jungmin likes bouquets,” Changkyun spat out quickly before rushing to the restroom.

“He has to shit, he’s had the runs all day,” Changkyun barely heard Hoseok fib, Jooheon cackling as he easily believed the excuse. Changkyun hid in the staff bathroom for what felt like hours heaving until Hoseok came to tell him that Jooheon had gone. With a gentle pat on the back and a candy from his pocket, Hoseok had easily comforted him and they returned to their previous engagement.

“Stop doing that,” Hoseok snapped suddenly, pointing his finger at Changkyun. He fought the smile that threatened to spread across his face as Changkyun’s face warped with surprise. He couldn’t help but find the younger boy adorable when he was confused.

“What?”

“Clicking the candy against your teeth, it’s annoying.”

“Like this?” Changkyun’s expression changed from confusion to mischievous in a split second, the clicking of the candy growing louder exponentially.

“STOP!”

“When did you two get so close?” Minhyuk inquired, a devious smile on his face. Kihyun nodded, leaning on the table awaiting their answer. Since three weeks ago, duh. You already know this but you just want details about why. Changkyun fought the urge to quip back, instead shrugging and teasing back.

“When he started buying me food and someone else didn’t,” Changkyun teased.

“Yeah, you’ll stay close with him. I’m not spending my money on you,” Kihyun sneered playfully. The noisiness of the table didn’t seem to bother anyone else in the bustling burger joint. Hyunwoo silently listened to each of the conversations at the table, dropping one to listen in on another. Hyungwon, however, was viciously fighting off sleep as he chewed lazily. Changkyun fought to keep in his laughter every time he glanced at the always exhausted ER resident. He preferred to laugh at Hyungwon dozing off as he chewed instead of focusing on the happy couple a few seats down. It kept his food down and his stomach from filling too quickly with flowers. Kihyun and Minhyuk sat next to each other across from Hyungwon and Hyunwoo, laughing loudly at Hyungwon’s mid-meal nap. Hoseok sat across from Changkyun, munching happily on his fries and dipping them into Changkyun’s milkshake. Changkyun smiled at Hoseok’s full cheeks as he ate, mentally comparing him to a chipmunk.

“How’s work, Hoseok?” Kihyun asked suddenly. Minhyuk listened intently and Changkyun knew something was up. The two of them would only ever gang up in conversations if they wanted information, and Changkyun figured they wanted an answer to their previous question.

“Pretty good. There have been more orders lately in preparation for Valentine’s day, but other than that it’s been normal,” Hoseok said simply. Changkyun groaned internally at the older boy’s easygoing manner. He obviously didn’t have any suspicion as to why they were suddenly asking about work.

"I heard Changkyun has been helping you out. Is the shop going to hire him?" Minhyuk butted in. Changkyun suppressed the urge to stab him in the leg with his fork. As much as he loved his friends, they could get extremely nosy. They wouldn't band together to simply get information for the two of them, but to inform the whole friend group. It got annoying quickly and often led to petty arguments.

"Yeah, they actually really like his help and organization. He's really good at caring for the plants growing on the roof. The owner just offered him a full time position," Hoseok explained with a full mouth. Kihyun rolled his eyes at the messy sounds of chewing as the older boy spoke.

"Next time finish chewing before you talk. The way food falls out while you babble is so gross," Kihyun groaned, "Changkyun, are you going to work with Hoseok? You'll make more money there than you're currently making working at both the convenience store and internet cafe."

Changkyun rolled his eyes before answering, "I'm taking the job but will still work sometimes at the internet cafe. The lady who owns it usually needs help with late night shifts on the weekends. It's really busy then and usually the younger workers don't want to work those shifts."

"That's really nice of you," Minhyuk says quickly, a genuine look of surprise crossing his features. "I'm happy that you're getting a better job. I remember you mentioning that you were looking for a full time job."

Before Changkyun could reply, the attention of the entire table turned to him.

"Oh, you found a job Changkyun?" Jungmin called from the end of the table. Hoseok started shifting in his seat slightly, pushing the rest of his fries around on his plate. Minhyuk turned his gaze to Hoseok, a slightly concerned look crossing his face. The rest of the table waited for Changkyun's reply as he swallowed roughly. His stomach stirred instantly, the sound of Jungmin's voice sending shivers down his spine. The way Jooheon's arm rested around Jungmin's waist made Changkyun's breath catch in his throat. The second Changkyun’s mind would begin to admire Jungmin, the sight of Jooheon was always a harsh reminder that he had no chance. More than not having a chance, he had a feeling of deep shame. Jungmin was dating Jooheon, his best friend. It felt shameful and almost like he was betraying Jooheon’s trust.

"Yeah, Hoseok's boss offered me a job last week. The person who usually shares shifts with Hoseok quit so I'll be working the same shifts as him," Changkyun explained. Jungmin smiled happily, responding with how happy they were for him before nudging Jooheon gently. Changkyun felt his heart wrench at how Jungmin's smile widened as they met eyes with Jooheon. His stomach grew heavier as Jooheon took their hand in his, intertwining both of their fingers before clearing his throat slightly.

"Speaking of job offers," he started, Jungmin giggling as he paused, "I've been offered a job with a label.. They want me as a producer and composer and want me to work for them at their Busan branch to work with their trainees." As soon as he ended his sentence the table burst out in congratulations. Amidst their cheering, Hoseok stood from his seat abruptly and rushed to the bathroom. Minhyuk turned to Changkyun, both exchanging looks of confusion. The rest at the table continued with their conversation with Jooheon, discussing details and plans. At the mention of Jooheon and Jungmin moving in together, Changkyun felt as if he would burst right then and there. At that very moment, Hoseok stood by his seat, clutching his stomach.

"Hey, Changkyun, could you take me home?" Hoseok whined. The conversation halted, focus suddenly on Hoseok.

"What's wrong?" Kihyun asked worried. Hoseok pointed at his leftovers which consisted of only a small pile of fries. His two empty burger wrappers and two fry containers littered his spot, his milkshake sucked dry.

"I ate a really big lunch and ate too much just now, I feel sick. I threw up so I'm gonna go," he answered, tossing his car keys to Changkyun. Changkyun stood, exchanging goodbyes quickly as Hoseok hurried off towards the exit.

"Text me if he's still sick in the morning, I'll drop off some medicine and food," Kihyun called after Changkyun, the rest of the table returning to their busy chatter. Changkyun rushed outside and into the driver's seat. As soon as the car had pulled out of the parking lot, Hoseok released his stomach and turned up the radio.

"My place please, Mr. Chauffeur," Hoseok grinned, leaning his seat back and crossing his arms behind his head.

"You were faking it?"

"Yeah, of course. Jooheon had already told me so I knew where the conversation was headed. I had a plan before we even showed up. If I noticed you weren't taking the conversation well, I was gonna get you out of there and that I did," Hoseok said simply, closing his eyes to enjoy the music.

"Thank you," Changkyun said softly. Hoseok opened his eye to glance at him before closing it once again.

"It's nothing really," Hoseok answered. A few minutes passed by in comfortable silence before he spoke again. "I also wanted to be able to talk to you one-on-one and ask you something."

"Well, fire away."

"Have you ever thought about, you know, getting the memory wipe?" Hoseok's arms shifted to cross over his chest as he spoke. His features shifted from relaxed to thinking. He chewed on his lip, waiting patiently for a response.

"Well, I have but I don't know much about it. No one really talks about these things, you know?”

"Yeah, I get you. The wipe is a permanent solution though. Basically, they sedate you and it's almost like hypnosis. They first get your mind to go through every single moment you're supposed to forget and then start erasing it all. During the procedure, they make sure you're getting rid of the flowers safely. Reliving the memories causes the flowers to appear in abundance and it really takes a toll on your stomach and throat. After it's all done they put you into a medicated coma for a week or so to let your brain form the connections it's lost, along with letting your throat heal, and then you're released. Some people have no choice but to get the memory wipe. They inhale too many petals and have to go into surgery to remove them, and then they get the memory wipe. That's rare though, they don't see too many of those. At least that's what I'm told."

"That doesn't sound too scary," Changkyun mumbled, turning onto the street Hoseok lived on. As he pulled into Hoseok's usual parking space, the older boy turned to him with a serious look on his face.

"Listen, if Jooheon takes that job, I think it'd be the perfect time for you to get it done. That's only if you want to though, I'm just giving you an option."

"I'll think about it," Changkyun groaned, stepping out of the car and heading into the apartment complex. Hoseok rushed out, scrambling behind him.

"You don't have to, just remember that," Hoseok pouted, trying to take the keys. Changkyun pulled them away, a teasing smile on his face. Hoseok’s pout grew as he tried to snatch them away quickly and failed every attempt.

#monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #mosnta x fanfic #monsta x #im changkyun #lee jooheon #shin hoseok #mine #angst #hanahaki au #ns*#series

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