Pepper Ann Incorrect Quotes

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Nicky: *talking about Alec Kane's funeral* You do know we’re burying a great person today.

Pepper Ann, shocked: Did someone else die?

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Moose: Can you check for monsters under my bed, Mom?

Lydia: The monsters don't live under our beds, sweetie. They live inside us.

Moose: ...

Lydia: Good night!

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Pepper Ann: Am I going too far?

Nicky: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

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Milo: She's the girl of my dreams!

Nicky: You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

Milo: I have a lot of dreams.

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Pepper Ann: Alec Kane…

Milo: Our arch enemy! Well, your arch enemy. I, err…you know, I don’t think he even knows my name.

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Nicky: One of the major difficulties with Pepper Ann is learning to distinguish between her pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because she can’t be bothered to think and wants someone else to do it for her, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that she actually doesn’t understand what’s going on, and really being genuinely stupid.

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Pepper Ann: I had a dream last night that my alarm was connected to Twitter and every time I hit snooze it publicly tweeted it with a disparaging little message along the lines of “filthy horrible girl has slapped the screen again, and slumbers on,” so that your followers could shame you and I was deeply, DEEPLY humiliated but that did not stop me from hitting snooze upwards of 14 times.

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Milo: NICKY! I just had the greatest idea ever!

Nicky: I’ve grown sour of your so-called “great ideas”. I haven’t forgotten about you trading in our Dark Knight tickets that one time to see Space Chimps.

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Nicky: Thank you, Pepper Ann. My mornings aren't complete without at least one major catastrophe.

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Vera: Can we talk about the message you’ve sent to the whole school?

Principal Hickey: It was a critical update.

Vera: It just says “Pearson's back on her bullshit.”

Principal Hickey, muttering: People need to know.

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Milo: So, it turns out that climbing onto a rooftop in the middle of the night does solve all your problems, but I failed to consider that it would create a brand new one.

Nicky: Are you stuck?

Milo: *sadly* Yes.

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Nicky: You’re all cancelled.

Pepper Ann: Honey, I never aired.

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Nicky: Okay, I admit I was wrong.

Milo: Good.

Nicky: However-

Milo: No. No 'however'. Just stand in your wrongness and be wrong.

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Alec Kane: I don't think so, P. Ann! You have to do what I say or else you're under arrest! P. Ann! P. Face! P. Poopy, Poopy Butt!

Pepper Ann: You may be the- don't you ever FUCKING call me that ever again, I'll kill you!

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Trinket: What's, like, wrong with you? Nicky: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

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Pepper Ann: At my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal I am not inside. Instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the Space Jam theme song is playing in the background. Pepper Ann: Nevermind, Mom says I can’t do that.

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Alec Kane: I woke up at five in the morning so I could put spiders in P. Ann's bed. Nicky: I wish I could care about something as much as you care about ruining Pepper Ann's life.