𝐏𝐀𝐖'𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 !
sheepfilms

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izzy's playlists!

Love Begins

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tannertan36
noise dept.
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@percval
𝐏𝐀𝐖'𝐒 𝐎𝐅𝐅 !
but we all learn. BUT WE ALL LEARN.
what do you think of duplicates?
I love duplicates !
its good to know the legacy of percivals old blog lives on,,,,, deep frying nifflers & trying to eat credence
𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚞𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚞𝚏𝚏 . tugging the girl back to standing position , before slipping both hands into the pockets of his trousers . ❛ you might want to refrain from showcasing that specific talent around here ----- unless you want people to think you're just as clumsy in the field . ❜
i have bde. bisexual disaster energy
SENTENCE STARTERS | SHIT MY 100 YEAR OLD GREAT GRANDPA HAS SAID
for context : my great-grandfather turned 100 a couple of weeks ago , and he’s very happy about reaching triple figures ! since he’s so modern and knows what tumblr is , he wanted me to make a collection of his most quotable moments ! most of these were said whilst watching tv shows like masterchef or project runway ( esp. project runway, he used to be a tailor ! ) or playing ps3 games ( one of his new fave pastimes )
❝ You like mixing knits? So do the people at the retirement home up the road. ❞ ❝ Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s not blood orange, it’s red, fuck you! ❞ ❝ Darling, you can write a porno if you want to, as long as it’s better than Fifty Shades. ❞ ❝ If you can’t be a professional, at least you can try to dress like one. ❞ ❝ Since getting older, I’ve adopted a new “fuck you I’m fabulous” attitude. ❞ ❝ A glass of red wine a day keeps the grim reaper away! ❞ ❝ Oh my gosh! Did you shit on the food, or is that your idea of a sauce? ❞ ❝ That outfit looks fabulous, if you want to look like your waist fell. ❞ ❝ I’m very satisfied mustard has come back into fashion in 2018. Good choice world! ❞ ❝ If I was many years younger, I’d romance you. ❞ ❝ People think I’m insulted when they call me Sir, but I’m flattered. I never got knighted! ❞ ❝ Nobody has worn something that hideous since 1918. I should know, that’s when I was born. ❞ ❝ There are so many beautiful things in this world to get insurance on. ❞ ❝ When it comes to work, I’m a bit of a control freak…but who isn’t? ❞ ❝ What’s a man gotta do to get a glass of wine around here!? ❞ ❝ I’m this old and I can still take myself to the toilet. Life success! ❞ ❝ ____ is panflexible and nobody can tell me otherwise. ❞ ( ** HE MEANT PANSEXUAL LMAO ) ❝ I’m so cool, I use text speak. LOL: lights on loser. FML: find my leggings.❞ ❝ …There is only so much tackiness one human body can endure. ❞ ❝ I’m all for full body prints, but not when they make you look like you escaped the zoo. ❞ ❝ I saw a curvy model in the street the other day and now I wish I was 80 years younger. ❞ ❝ What’s with this cutout trend? Were you hungry and just ate your clothes? ❞ ❝ I survived a world war, yet I can never survive the grocery store. ❞ ❝ Chartreuse is a crime against fashion. If you ever wear it, I’ll pray for your descendants. ❞ ❝ There’s a reason nobody wears shoulder pads anymore. Just saying. ❞ ❝ Are you wearing silk chiffon? HELLO 2005!!!! ❞ ❝ If I want to eat a full tub of ice cream, I’ll eat a full tub of ice cream. Don’t judge me. ❞ ❝ An advantage of getting older: I can walk outside in pyjamas and not get judged. ❞ ❝ Wow. Blindness. What a plot twist that was. ❞ ❝ Why is it a thing that all mages just have to be sexy!? ❞ ❝ When it comes to weaponry, too big is never a bad thing. ❞ ❝ Everyone seems to be dropping like flies…It’s a little bit mad. ❞ ❝ I maxed out my two-handed weaponry skill. I am a man to be feared! ❞ ❝ You have about as much emotion as a tree trunk. In fact, that’s an insult to the tree trunk. ❞ ❝ “Let’s play with magic we don’t understand, it’ll make us incredibly powerful!” Dumbo! ❞ ❝ Oh look, it’s the president of Dorktopolis, capital of the Nerd Empire! ❞ ❝ In the wise words of my late father: “Fuck you, I was here first!” ❞ ❝ Don’t you have something better to do than trying to destroy the world? Take up baking, or knitting. Maybe poetry? ❞ ❝ Leather is the unsung hero of fashion. If I could live in leather, I would. ❞ ❝ Frozen pizza is the greatest invention our great planet has ever produced. ❞ ❝ Quinoa looks like tiny little bird poops. I’d rather eat my own shoe than eat that. ❞ ❝ Does my butt look big in this? ❞ ❝ HOW HAVE YOU ESCAPED MY CLUTCHES!? ❞ ❝ Of course I believe in evolution. How else would Bulbasaur become Venusaur!? DUH! ❞ ❝ What do you call someone who can’t move very fast? You! Hah! ❞ ❝ I just killed a dragon…I’M A FUCKING GOD AMONG MEN! ❞ ❝ Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I sold your weapon, so don’t kill me baby! ❞ ❝ There is no problem that cannot be overcome by force. ❞ ❝ Piloting any vehicle is simple and requires no training. I should know! ❞ ❝ You can overcome any adversary simply by having a tragic backstory. ❞ ❝ I let Beyonce dictate my life. If she would do something, then damn, I’m gonna do it too. ❞ ❝ Oh. My. God. It’s a motherfucking walk off. ❞ ❝ I would hang out with you Janice, but unfortunately, I’m a father. Duty calls. ❞ ❝ You know who doesn’t like me? People who suck. That’s right. ❞
#𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐏 , 𝐈’𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃 revived by scofield
i never minded being on my own.
I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT YOU WERE LAUGHING , ©
what, with all due respect, the absolute fuck
in no particular order, british slang i’d love to see incorporated into the harry potter rpc’s writing ( or at least, working class wizards raised in britain anyways ) / british characters in general, because you Do Not Know english until you’ve experienced british english :
knackered - exhausted.
shattered - MOST COMMONLY SCOTTISH. see knackered.
pissed - drunk… but also angry. it’s confusing, i know.
rat arsed - MOST COMMONLY NORTHERN ENGLISH. Really Drunk. extremely vulgar.
trollied - drunk.
naff - terrible, bad, shit.
proper - really. as in ‘ that was proper naff, that was. ’
dead - same as proper, ie ‘ she was dead chuffed. ’ can also mean quiet, empty, etc. ie ‘ the pub was absolutely dead, no one in sight! ’
chuffed - happy, pleased. alternatively, older brits may use the word ‘ chuffing, ’ which has a completely different meaning ( like a substitute for swearing to show annoyance, ie ‘ you’ve made a right chuffing mess! ’ )
sloshed - drunk.
plastered - drunk. we have a lot of phrases for drunk here, okay.
bloke - MOST COMMONLY USED IN LONDON. man, dude. usually of the older variety.
geezer - man, dude. usually of the older variety, or to describe a rather eccentric male. ie ‘ what a geezer! ’
lad - man, dude. usually of the younger variety. people in scotland may use the term ‘ laddie ’ instead.
one of the lads - a man who has been accepted or integrated into a male social group, ie ‘ don’t worry charlie, you’re one of the lads now! ’
minging - MOST COMMONLY USED IN EASTERN SCOTLAND / NORTHERN ENGLAND. disgusting, gross. can also be modified to describe a person, ie ‘ he’s a right minger! ’
rank - disgusting, gross.
dodgy - suspicious.
legless - Really Drunk. as in, can barely walk drunk.
miffed - annoyed.
pear-shaped - when something’s gone wrong, ie ‘ the plan went pear-shaped. ’
tits up - see pear-shaped.
skint - broke, out of money, ie ‘ i can’t get tickets for the match, i’m skint. ’
tosser - idiot.
swear down - MOST COMMONLY NORTHERN ENGLISH. promise, ie ‘ i swear down, i didn’t take your cake! ’
knickers in a twist - to get upset, ie ‘ don’t get your knickers in a twist! ’ the british variant of ‘ don’t get your panties in a bunch. ’
knobhead / nob - asshole. extremely vulgar. basically, you’re calling someone an utter penis.
wanker - asshole. vulgar. see knobhead.
muppet - idiot. can be used affectionately.
numpty - MOST COMMONLY USED IN SCOTLAND. idiot. can be used affectionately.
prat - idiot.
plonker - idiot.
pillock - idiot. look, we love our insults okay?
taking the mick / mickey / piss - having a joke, usually at another’s expense. ie ‘ you taking the piss, mate? ’
rubbish - trash. but also shit, bad, etc. ie ‘ that cake was absolutely rubbish! ’
tosh - ridiculous, bad, ie ‘ what a load of tosh! ’
pants - ridiculous, bad, ie ‘ ugh, that’s pants! ’
blimey - kind of our version of ‘ oh my god! ‘ or ‘ holy shit! ’
all mouth and no trousers - basically, someone who can talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. makes all these claims but can’t back it up. ie, gilderoy lockhart was all mouth and no trousers!
the dog’s bollocks - something that’s hot shit, great, amazing.
gob - mouth, usually as an insulting term, ie ‘ shut your gob! ’
gobsmacked - shocked, astounded.
gobshite - MOST COMMONLY USED IN IRELAND. a foolish / obnoxious / stupid person. ie ‘ come here, you little gobshite! ’
having a mare - having a stressful time.
wee / wee bit - EXCLUSIVELY SCOTTISH / NORTHERN IRISH. means little, ie ‘ it’s a wee bit chilly out there! ’
lass / lassie - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN ENGLISH / SCOTTISH / NORTHERN IRISH. girl, female. ie a man might refer to their girlfriend as ‘ our lass. ‘
bonnie - EXCLUSIVELY SCOTTISH. lovely, beautiful, ie ‘ what a bonnie lass! ’
bairn - EXCLUSIVELY SCOTTISH. a child, ie ‘ the wee bairns are fast asleep! ’
lush - EXCLUSIVELY WELSH. lovely, delightful, usually in reference to a thing or place, ie ‘ that chicken was lush! ’ but also someone who is sexually attractive, ie ‘ christ, he’s lush! ’ may be used as an insult in other areas of the uk, to describe drunk people.
mardy - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN ENGLISH. moody, sulky. see the arctic monkeys’ song mardy bum.
aye - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN ENGLISH / SCOTTISH / IRISH. yes, ie ‘ aye, i can do that. ’
butty - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN ENGLISH. sandwich. usually a chip butty, or a bacon butty.
butt - EXCLUSIVELY WELSH. a term of endearment when greeting someone, ie ‘ alright, butt! ‘
cwtch - EXCLUSIVELY WELSH. ( pronounced as cutch?? ) means a cuddle or a hug. also, funnily enough, a type of welsh beer!
love / duck / chick / chicken - EXCLUSIVELY YORKSHIRE / NORTHERN ENGLISH. terms of endearment, ie ‘ what’s up, chick? ’ ‘ you alright, love? ’ etc.
ta - MOST COMMONLY NORTHERN ENGLISH, but may be found in other areas. short for thank you, ie ‘ ta, love. ’
ma / da - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN IRISH. mother / father, ie ‘ how’s your da? ’
peelers - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN IRISH. police.
scundered - EXCLUSIVELY NORTHERN IRISH. embarrassed.
also, never forget cheeky nandos. thanks, @courfleur!
feel free to reblog / add to this ((:
banjaxed - broken
acting the maggot - fooling / messing around
bags - make a mess of something
crack on - get going
chancer - risk taker
fluthered - drunk
gaff - home
gas - funny / amusing
jacks - bathroom
haymes - complete mess
lash - raining hard / go out drinking
manky - dirty
moran - fool
puss - sulky face
scarlett - embarrassed
story - whats happening
throw shapes - show off
Send me "there was chocolate on your lips," for my muses reaction to yours kissing them on the lips.
Send me “they tasted nice,” for my muse to kiss yours on the lips.
Seraphina: Fuck Newt Scamander-
Percival: I'm trying.
was jkr high when she came up w/ some of the names in this world
percival is ambidextrous ! he usually wields his wand with his right hand & if the need arises for him to use wandless magic , he uses his left.