Headcannon Guy

I post all the stuff I'm too lazy to turn into Fanfics

[uselesslumpofflesh]

Bratty bottom Lute and service top Sera

SERA X LUTE LOVERS RISE UP.....EVEN THOUGH THERES LIKE FIVE OF US

[perfectionistkilling-me]

I see the vision.

They're both so broken after the exterminations. That's some good angst fodder right there.

Height difference, glorious.

"I will be nice to you until you stop acting like a traumatized shelter cat"

Okay, okay I'm on board

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Who Fixed Lute's Arm?

Hazbin Hotel Season 2 Spoilers

So which unlucky bastard in Heaven drew the short straw of fixing Lute's arm?

Because I cannot imagine she would be the most cooperative patient. She's in pain, she's in shock, she's lost a lot of blood, she's traumatized.

The girl is basically The Reason military medics have to hold an officer rank.

She's not seeing Adam at that point, so she would be completely alone. She doesn't have much of a relationship with any other exorcists, and even if she did I don't think she'd be willing to let them see her showing weakness. Which is how she would see being wounded, even though Lute knows angels can be harmed SHE'S never been harmed before.

So she's alone and in pain and we know she goes straight to anger in those moments.

So if that arm had to be attached by someone. They are giving medical treatment to someone with the fight or flight response of a rabid dog.

It was probably Sera.

Follow up, I wonder if she's still in pain.

[psychicandfairytypesdetonate-de]

The idea of having to grieve someone who was supposed to have lived forever with you is. Such horror. Like especially as his second-in-command. She probably felt like a limb detached from a body when she realized he was dead. She was his sword and she would have been his shield too if she could have been. They were supposed to have an eternity together of whatever he wanted.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

I love how awkward Vaggi and Lucifer's dynamic is.

Imagine you used to work for a company. You were pretty high up the totem pole and one day you're just capital D DONE.

You don't need the reference so you just have a full, scorched earth legendary crash out. Files thrown out window, tie in the paper shredder, tuna in the microwave.

You know that story will be told for years to come. But you won't be there to hear it.

Then your daughter brings a girl home. She used to work at that same company.

There's a kinda comradery there but also She Knows. And you were very much counting on not having to talk to anyone who knew about that day ever again.

And on Vaggi's side. She's just like, this is The Guy. Not only is there the usual intimidation of Meeting Your Girlfriend's Dad, but also this is the guy who every work story ever was compared to. "Well yeah, I'm stuck peeling potatoes for a month but at least I didn't get sent to hell"

Basically I just need to see Vaggi and Lucifer try to work a BBQ together.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

GuitarSpear community you're welcome

[stanlunter]

Idk if it's the official heights or not, but it's kinda inaccurate cuz in the show itself Lute was tall enough to reach Adam's shoulders

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Adam's height is his official height. Lute's I took the most common fan speculations for her height since she doesn't have an official one.

Lute is around a head taller than Vaggi. Who is officially 5'4. So 5'7-5'9 is probably roughly correct.

The issue is height extremes are a bitch to animate. And the animation style for Hazbin is pretty generous, you can get away with a lot of variations between scenes before anyone will actually notice.

For example in Hell is Forever. She's flying at roughly Adam's shoulder height and her feet are at his upper thighs.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

💥🎸GuitarSpear Roommate AU🎸💥

Lute technically has an apartment on base near the barracks. She's almost never there. If she IS there someone fucked up bad.

Lute has stuck a review of everyone of Adam's hookups on his bedroom door. It's a 0-10 scale with categories like "Volume, Duration and Ease of Removal"

That last one is whether or not Lute had to throw the girl out when she got clingy.

They BOTH live like fratboys. Cooking skill, non existent. Cleaning, non existent. Toilet paper, running low at all times.

Lute's actual apartment on base is spotless and up to code. So this is deliberate.

Lute sleeps on the very big, very comfy couch in the living room. Because she insists she doesn't live there, that would be improper. She is deliberately ignoring that all her stuff is there.

The amount of meat, protein bars and whey powder in that apartment is horrifying. But they both need it.

They have a god-tier sound system and record collection. Music is pretty much constantly blasting at all hours of the day/night.

The banter and roasting is constant. That apartment sounds like a Call of Duty lobby.

Adam will grab Lute and just yeet her across the room/into the air. Like you do with some budgies. Lute loves this, but she will never admit that.

They both love to roughhouse. Play fighting, wrestling, you name it. This is what happens when you combine a love of physical touch and repressed feelings.

This is my attempt to make up for all the angst.

[redstonedust]

i understand why people are like "when are we ever gonna use this" about highschool classes, but personally i always kinda assumed it was more like. a taste test for the kids who do wanna use it? like maybe i dont need to reference atomic structure and the periodic table often in my daily life, but i assume there has to be at least one kid in my grade who was like "oh fuck this chemistry shit is awesome" and went on to be a chemist, yknow?

like i understand wanting more life skills to be taught in school and i agree, but i also think some people act as if the ONLY life skills are taxes and housework. do you want school to be a multi-year retail training course with a side of "how to fold bedsheets". that sounds lame as hell. i'll take the algebra thanks.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Life skills are important. I want highschool students to know how to change a tire, how to do their taxes. I want highschool students to know how long they can keep leftover chicken in their fridge and what to buy from the pharmacy when they have a headache.

And English, Math and Science classes do teach them that. The problem is the school system absolutely fucking sucks at framing it this way.

English teaches you how to extract meaning from a text. It teaches you what to do when you don't understand a piece of text. It teaches you the purposes of different types of text.

So when you leave highschool and you are presented with an insurance form, or an employment contract and you don't understand what you're reading. You should have a full toolkit for how to handle that. You should have had years of reading things you don't understand and then understanding them. You know to look up words you don't know, to look up explanation online for similar texts. To identify key points and headings and work on understanding them first.

But no one framed it like that. They just told you, "you need to do this for the exam."

Math teaches you problem solving, how to break down a problem into smaller pieces. Math teaches you how to find relevant information and slot it into a formula. (I will say, you don't need to memorize formulas)

So when your tire is stuck in a ditch at 3am And slamming the accelerator doesn't help. You are primed to know WHY. You don't need to know the exact calculations there sure. But the fact that you understand that your engine doesn't create enough force to pull the tire out, the fact that you understand momentum. That information gives you a much better starting point to solve the problem.

You're just going to call Triple A, but you figured out that you need to do that. That's problem solving.

Science teaches you how the world works. If you know that there is a range of temperatures bacteria can survive in, and another range of temperatures bacteria can thrive in. You know to Google if the chicken is safe to eat. And having years of learning about bacteria. Years of learning how to break down big, intimidating scientific terms. You'll feel much more comfortable reading the explanation of how to know when chickens gone bad.

An education system that is genuinely designed to educate the population, rather than just prepare them for the factories is a fucking miracle of Human achievement and I really wish governments weren't hellbent on turning them into a "Who has the biggest number" machine.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Headcannon about the Bloodstains on Lute's Uniform.

Her uniform is actually clean, she just washed it in boiling hot water and now that blood is never coming out.

Some explanations for this.

She's bad at laundry

She needed to "burn the stench of hell" out of her uniform"

She did it on purpose so the Bloodstains intimidate her enemies. (Season 1)

She did it on purpose because Adam's blood on her is all that's left of him (season 2)

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Vox could have known who Alastor was in his life.

Season 2 Hazbin Spoilers

Alastor was on the radio is the 20s/30's. The "Golden Age of Radio"

Vox died in the 50's. So he was part of that very first surge of TV popularity, when TV overtook radio as the primary at home media.

Vox looks to be in his 40s at the time of his death. Maybe late 30s since all that cigar smoking and lead paint aged people faster back then.

Vox was a child in the 20's. He would have grown up sitting on a rug in his living room listening to the radio after supper. Now, they're from opposite sides of the country, so Alastor probably wasn't on his local station.

But Alastor was a Big DealTM in the radio world. He would have had recordings of some of his broadcasts. He would have done guest appearances on other shows. And it's Alastor so he absolutely would have milked the "Started from Nothing" storyline.

And a tiny 8 year old Vox could have heard that and decided "I'm going to be just like him when I grow up"

A tiny 8 year old Vox could have asked Santa for a vinyl record of one of Alastor's shows every year.

Now, the question is does Vox recognise Alastor in hell? I doubt it. I think it's more fun if Vox fell for the same self absorbed murder twink TWICE and he DOESN'T EVEN REALISE IT.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Taking a break from fandom posting to share some whimsy.

I recently attended a friend's birthday, we're all catching up. All having the horrifying realization that our conversation now sound like our parents conversations "how's the house/job/kids/health".

But at the end, THEY HAD GOODIE BAGS

Not ironic, not "adult" goodie bags with mini liquor bottles and soaps.

Classic proper goodie bags with chocolate coins, fruit chews, mini fidget toys, a googley eye and all the leftover balloons from the party.

The only vaguely 'adult' item in these bags were mini tea leaf samples.

It's was glorious. I love everything about this. I will be doing this at future parties.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

GuitarSpear community you're welcome

[markerofthemidnight]

silly lute headcanons for the soul :)

How formal or casual she is with Adam depends on the situation, as well as her mood- she’ll be locked in her usual serious lieutenant mode in similarly serious situations, but when it’s public but not serious she’ll loosen up a little more and start acting slightly more casual with him, and in private settings (when she’s in a good mood) she’ll drop the formalities entirely and act almost as if their professional relationship doesn’t exist, a rare sight that Adam’s always grateful to see even if he doesn’t show it

She and Adam actually live together, and have been living together for a very long time- it started way back around the time they first met, when she was new in Heaven and didn’t really have a permanent place of residence, so he was just like “oh sure you can crash with me a few days, that’s fine” and then she just. Didn’t leave. (Not that he’s complaining though)

Likes spicy stuff. Like, really spicy stuff. She has an incredibly high tolerance for it, with spices having to measure like 2 million on the Scoville scale (for the record, that’s hotter than a Carolina Reaper) before she starts breaking even a little. For some reason, she seems to particularly enjoy casually drinking hot sauce out of the bottle- partly to intimidate people, partly out of a genuine love for the taste

Has Jessica Vosk’s impeccable pipes even in-universe, though only Adam ever really gets to hear her sing. He thinks she’s one of the greatest singers in all of Heaven (second only to him of course), wheras she insists that she’s only an amateur at best and is… kind of embarrassed by it

She and Adam preen each other’s wings! Well, usually she’s the one preening his wings, and then just does hers herself. Doesn’t want to waste her commander’s time, or give the impression that she needs help with it. Most of the time Adam insists that she let him preen them for her (since preening’s meant to be an intimate bonding activity and he is not passing up an opportunity to get intimate with her, even if it’s not intimate intimate) but she rarely does

Would never let anybody find out about this, but she likes touch. She loooves touching him, which is particularly noticeable when she’s in “casual roomie/best friend” mode and not lieutenant mode. It’s usually pretty small things, though, like just leaning next to him or wrapping an arm around him if she’s feeling particularly bold. This is why the preening is so important to her: she gets to both do a service to her beloved commander and quell her touch-starvation at the same time

I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll say it again: she actually has little tail feathers hidden under the uniform, black ones with white tips, which she goes out of her way to keep hidden no matter what she’s wearing, so only Adam knows about them. She’s embarrassed about them (though Adam insists that they’re cute, which just embarrasses her even more)

Also has black nails under the gloves! She likes the bird of prey aura they give her, she thinks they’re badass (same reason why she perches like a gargoyle)

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Thank you, I needed this

I also need SO MUCH roommate GuitarSpear. The dynamic is perfect.

My additions.

-Lute does TECHNICALLY have her own place. But she in the Barracks so she basically only stays there when Shits Going Down TM.

-A large amount of Adam and Lute's downtime is spent listening to/singing and playing along to records. Mostly Classic Rock, but Lute added some Alt/Modern Rock.

-She's So Mean is played often "For an angel she's a hot hot mess/and all her clothes are on the floor and all your records are scratched/she has a hard time coming when she can't hit back"

-Neither of them can cook. The fridge is just Pizza and Leftover Chinese.

-Adam plays Halo and Doom and Lute sits there critiquing the tactical decisions of the NPCs.

-Lute takes like 2 minutes to shower (military) this fact does NOT stop Adam from making jokes about how "chicks take forever in the shower"

-Lute bites to show affection. She does not do this often.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

I'm going to start posting my good takes along with my actually cracked takes so that people are subjected to both simultaneously.

"You'll never fill your cup, your broken from the start no Victory will ever be enough " Is true for both Vox and Al. And I think we're going to see a lot more of how that's true for Al in season 3.

Also, I know why Adam could never actually confess feelings for Lute. But like, if he did. Suddenly we get the "Dad's girlfriend" dynamic between Lute and Abel and that would be so chaotic and I love it.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Hazbin Hotel Season 2 Finale Spoilers

First of all. I promised my wife I wouldn't watch ep 7/8 without her so I'm already in trouble but I swear THIS FUCKING CLIFFHANGER IS MY PUNISHMENT.

Look, I loved the Finale. Carmilla coming in at the 11th hour, she was one of my faves in season 1 and I'm so happy she had her moment. The fight scenes were all so well done. Some of the best animation in the whole show.

The evolution of Angel's plot is perfect. It broke my heart but I feel like anything less wouldn't be taking how much harm the Vees have actually caused him seriously. I can't picture any other way it could have ended.

BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN LUTES BLOODLUST IS A SEASON 3 OR LATER PLOT. Nooooooo. I need to KNOW what happens to her.

I was bracing myself that she would die. And I'd be heartbroken. But I don't even get to know!??? She's just, angry and broken in heaven with no support. NOT FAIR.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

Latin Skill Levels of the Angels.

This is so dumb. But my Hazbin Hyperfixation and my Catholic school trauma started fighting in my brain and this is the result. I'm assuming all of Heaven vaguely has Latin as a second language, because catholic school.

Sera

She's fluent. She could order a coffee, have a full conversation and translate ancient texts. It's as easy as English for her.

Emily

She's mostly fluent. But she only really uses it with Sera so she mixes up verb conjugations and tenses. She has 100% used the Patrick Star "I Wumbo, You Wumbo" bit to remember how to end a verb.

Lute

Situationally Fluent/Literate. She can read scripture and or an armoury Inventory in Latin. She skips over words she doesn't know and "mostly gets the gist" of whatever she's hearing/reading. She could study more but has better things to do withith her time.

Adam

Shockingly fluent. Same level of fluently as Sera. However he refuses to speak it and calls people nerds when they do.

He has at least once translated something incorrectly for Lute just to fuck with her.

Abel

Illiterate. However, he has invested a horrendous amount of time into learning 2-3 phrases to make people think he's fluent. This is worse than being Illiterate.

St Peter

Only knows the exact amount of Latin relevent to his job and not one syllable more.

[perfectionistkilling-me]

See the thing about my writing process is...

I am watching the best movie in my head. Seriously, this is my favourite movie. And it's just looping over and over and I can see all the details and all the emotions and character arcs. I'm having a great time.

But, if I want anyone else to enjoy this movie I have to write it down. So I sit down with my laptop, but the movie is still playing in the background and it plays a lot faster than I type. So I have to keep rewinding it.

And by the time I've actually typed out the scene I've watched it 37 times. Like yes it's my favourite movie but I really didn't need to watch that one scene 37 times.

And I just want to get to my favourite scene. But now I've been watching this movie for 4 hours and it just doesn't hit the same anymore.

[emotionalsupportfantasyworld]

It is my firm belief that the reason Lute was part of the "war council" in episode 6, when she wasn't there in episode 2, was because Sera was not going to survive another meeting with just Abel and Peter

That first meeting ending with her dropping an f-bomb, girl was this close to ending it all

Lute might be way too violet and quick to violence, but at least she has an opinion and her responses would be more than just "I don't know, whatever you think is best"

Sera was desperate to have someone in that room that wouldn't put her brain cells at risk

I imagine Sera finding Lute right after her "gravity" mental break down and telling her get it together, cause they can't both be having a mental break down and Sera will not be left alone with the Abel and Peter

[perfectionistkilling-me]

You are 1000% right and you should say it.

I firmly believe that Sera and Lute's whole dynamic post Gravity/ post Sera's confession is just "Okay, we're both Going Through It right now and I don't like you but I Need An Adult."

Genuinely believe they can help each other quite a lot if they can scrape together like 20% more mental stability. They both have a lesson to learn from each other.

Both Violence and Compassion are needed for the current problems. Vox cannot be resolved peacefully. I hope they work together.