This is how the conversation usually goes when I bring up the subject
Of something that has been bothering me for quite some time now.
Something that’s very serious but still tends to be taken too lightly.
A crucial downfall of society that has been neglected for far too long.
The term “asking for it”—
As in, “she did/wore/said/implied ___ means she was asking for it”
--Is being tossed around too nonchalantly
And it makes me sick to my stomach.
And it makes me want to vomit.
Please, explain to me,
Fill my feeble female mind with the answers I seek.
When and how exactly am I, as a female member of this society
“asking for it”?
Tell me, what exactly am I doing wrong?
Is it because I’m wearing shorts and a tank top?
Does that mean I’m “asking for it”?
Because, to me, that just means it’s summer and it’s hot outside
And I want to be comfortable.
Although, a female coworker of mine would beg to differ.
Speaking of another, much younger female than herself,
She walks up to me, leans in, and discretely whispers:
“Did you SEE what that girl was wearing? Shorts that short?
A top that revealing? Pfft…she MUST be asking for it!”
As she saunters off privy to my disapproval of her disparaging remarks,
I feel sick,
Disgusted,
Anguish
At the fact that a woman could say this in earnest about another woman
Whom she does not even know.
Is it because I’m walking down the street?
Does that mean I’m asking for it?
Because I always thought that just meant I was busy and had things to do.
Somehow, merely propping my foot on a bench at the bus stop
To tie my shoelace has unwittingly rendered me a prostitute
As men jeer and honk from their fast passing cars.
Too chicken to get out and say it to my face,
So they turn it into a race.
Some are seemingly friendly strangers
Who will stop traffic just to offer me rides home
And when I politely refuse,
They call me a slut, a tease or keep harassing me until I just walk away.
I am in no way asking for this.
So I start to wonder, what in God’s name is causing this?
Is it because I’m breathing and have breasts and female reproductive organs…?
Yeah, that must be it. THAT must mean I’m asking for it!
In this society, in this world,
Being born female seems to justify blatant sexual harassment.
Whether it’s in the things we see, the things we are taught about ourselves,
Behaviours we encounter, whether we do it to ourselves, or we’re told
To shake our hips while witnessing the nasty licking of lips,
With the superimposed double entendres that bare no meaning,
Just implications…
What are the implications?
We are taught that this is all just part of being a woman…
This—this is what women are taught is normal in their lives.
This is what we are and we just.have.to.deal.with.it.
So this is what I AM asking for…
The next time you see a pretty girl—or any girl—
Walking down the street,
Go ahead and pass your judgment.
This, of course, is inevitable; it’s human nature.
But don’t let it be known. Don’t reprimand her for looking the way she does.
Don’t judge her character or personality.
Because…you just don’t know.
If you feel the need to approach her,
First stop and think about your approach.
Ask yourself how you would want to be approached, if at all.
Ask yourself: Could what I am doing or thinking of doing in any way
Be considered sexual harassment?
Would I be okay if someone did this to me?
Do not jeer at her,
Do not ask her—nay, instruct her—to smile
For you. Because you are not entitled to her smile.
She will smile when she feels like smiling.
Either treat her like a human being (not a prized possession)
Or leave her be.
This is all that I am asking for.
Thank you.
