Janina

deep // GER, Stuttgart // 22 // 2. Blog: imvordergrund

[lild3m0nsworld]

[ojibwa]

[cryptid-corpse]

Alright I have absolutely no other option than to isolate myself and avoid absolutely everyone until I don't care if they love me or not because the emotional pain of being close to people and caring about them is far too painful, like someone is twisting a knife in my stomach.

[c0ffinbunnii]

[bipolarmango]

Wild things I have learnt in therapy:

When a child cries, parents are supposed to comfort them, not punish them

Parents are, in fact, supposed to want to spend time with their children

Children too have a right to privacy, meaning parents are not allowed to read their diaries etc and then punish them for the thoughts they found about

Children are allowed to be upset and cry

Children don't have to earn the love and attention from their parents by performing various things

Children are not supposed to be scared of going home and/or their parents

Children are not supposed to be physically abused and even a little bit of hitting is actually physical abuse

Parents are not supposed to expect that children are mentally as mature as other adults

Children are not supposed to be told that they're an accident, a burden, or something the parents regret

Children are not supposed to be scared and ashamed of themselves or feel like failures because of their parents

[zarathustra-would-be-proud]

[shreddedwristsandbrokenhearts]

x

[shuaaflower]

I don’t want to be part in my own life anymore. I understand why nobody wants to stay in my life…

[honeypleasejustkillme]

therapy is not enough, i just really need to die

[chaosdisorganized]

I really feel like im losing. Like I feel so controlled by my trauma, anxiety, depression, disorders and it's overpowering me. It controls my life. Everything in my life. I feel so paralyzed and so fucked up. Why can't I just be normal. How does everyone else make it look so easy. I'm tired, exhausted, really.

[melangedmess]

toxic parents will traumatize you and act surprised when you act like you've been traumatized

[borderlineangel222]

it’s unfair how i have the responsibility to heal myself when i didn’t cause my wound in the first place

[brokenflicker]

something i realized over the years is that despite wanting to kill myself, i don't actually wanna die. far from it actually. i want to live. i want to experience all the things i always wanted to do. i want to see the world. i want to look in the mirror one day and say "im happy i stayed". i want to get better. i want to live a life free from the shackles this mental illness has kept me in. but sometimes that darkness in my brain just overtakes that hope for a better future and all i'm left with is the thought that it will never get better.

— i want to live, but not like this.

[sadbitchhxx--deactivated-deacti]

[brokenflicker]

I'm tired.

[sa-dnesss]

nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words

[feelingsoftheday]

disappointed but not surprised.

[highassi]

me: it is what it is

my brain: lmao you're sooo gonna cry about it tonight

[altruisticwriter]

-William Wordsworth