As much as her brain pleaded to feel the air fill her lungs, the despair just observed like was mocking her telling in the stillness of her lungs the bitterness of that fucking reality. Gaia stayed, glassy eyes, as much she did not take control of reality, the reality wouldn’t touch her. You are what you believe, you are what you believe...So she kept breathing.
Then, footsteps, and she not dared to look and recongnize her failure.So she closed her eyes.Head supported by one of her knees.
“Ha! I.. I’ am…” Gaia started with an scoff and lost herself in the weak whisper, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, thinking. And then a quiet whisper. “..Controlling.”
And out of the blue Gaia felt the bílis start to revolve on her stomach and then like a push her body reacted, she opened her eyes and looked to Bianca. An unreconizing glint in her owlish eyes.It was like she was seeing the woman for the first time in her life. Gaia felt that horrible felling her throat closing again, and although she would neve aknowledge that out loud, the reason was very different than the last. It was the first symptom of that sickness, of the weep.Bianca was looking at her, and Gaia hated the feeling.It was like seeing her mother’s controlling eyes again..Her face contorted in a light expression of pain and then an indifferent dryly scoff got out her mouth.
“.. Uh.. I will survive.” And looked to the vomit by her side. And then she felt skin. Bianca skin on her hand. Her hand.
As quick Gaia realized that she glared to the woman, and then to her hand.She became paler.Her brain pleading to get Bianca’s hand out of her own, like fire getting in touch with the skin.She did not have the psychological strengh to get her soft touch out, if she did she could get killed, you never know in what territory you are stepping on.Gaia was afraid and not computing .And then she got self conscious, and she was staring, and she was not fighting. And suddenly a coleric expression taked place.
What do you think you are doing? Her eyes narrowed.
Gaia get out her hand of Bianca’s quickly. “NO! I DON’T!“She screamed and then the quiet. “It’s temporary!It will pass as quickly as I find a way.” Silence.
“HA I…!” She looked to the calm woman, body tense. And laughed desasperately, fidgeting.. “Don’t worry Bianca, it’s not like I am going to kill anyone that don’t deserve to be killed. “Gaia was smiling. Mockingly. Static .And abruptly was like something hitted her. Gaia was smiling with all her teeth, and her face was wet of brand new sorrow.Her hand moved trying to erase the tears erratically and angered.so she looked to the ground, because the shame was too much, and she refused herself to witness the funeral of her dignity, or what was left of it.
Her expression dropped as Gaia snatched her hand from hers. Bianca let her hand fall at her side and sighed, looking impassible at the mess of a woman in front of her. What a pitiful scene, what a shameful display for one of their kind. Bianca felt sorry for her, but only slightly. Mostly, she found this kind of obstinate behaviour tiresome and irritating. Utterly irresponsible, it was, to cause your own destruction and put others in peril just for the sake of standing a moral ground. Bianca couldn’t understand it.
“You will survive, but you’re on the verge of your strength, Gaia, realise this” Her voice was soft and soothing still, unsure even if Gaia’s mind was in the condition to understand her words. She moved a step to the side, out of Gaia’s line of view, clearing the path to the sight of the man who laid bleeding on the couch “Look at that man. He will die tonight and he deserves it. With or without your participation, his fate is sealed. Quench your thirst with his blood.”
She turned around and walked towards the man. Taking his hand she gave him a mental order to stand up. With unsure steps and glassy eyes, leaving a trail of blood that dripped from his neck, the man walked towards Gaia, his shaking hand hold on Bianca’s firm grip. They stopped in front of her, Bianca standing in the same place she had occupied before and the man falling on his knees, at arm’s reach from Gaia, looking at the floor.
“Go on, drink from him until his heart stops.” she said, her voice inflexible “We shall go nowhere until it’s done”
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