@performance-fart - Tumblr Blog

Hi, just so we’re clear: if you in any way support what ICE is doing rn, support the existence of ICE as an organization, or defend racism or xenophobia in any way, stay the fuck away from my blog. If I see it on my dash, I will report you and block you.

sacred-portal

wornoutmetaphor

tim-official

that poll going around of the guy who thought "people only eat tofu as a bit because they're deranged vegans" or whatever really crystalizes something that i have never been able to precisely say - which is "a nonzero fraction of people who start picky-eater discourse just happen to precisely hate those foods which are not from north america and refuse to introspect on this whatsoever"

tim-official

In contrast some people say "there aren't any picky eaters in Asia 🙄" but this is laughably untrue. I have a cousin in India who refused until his 20s to eat anything in a sauce. as you can imagine in India this was difficult. he basically had to pick things out of curry and wipe them dry

bobcat-pie

hollowedskin

tiredadventurer

pinkbowsandstripedsocks

edwardspoonhands

Honestly, Tvyek is pretty miraculous. It’s permeable to water vapor but not to water, it’s nearly impossible to tear, but can be easily cut. It’s cheap and made entirely without binding chemicals. In addition to being used for wristbands, it’s used to wrap construction sites to keep out water during construction, for tear-resistant envelopes at Fed-Ex, coveralls for mechanics, and my wallet, actually.

Fun tip, though it looks like paper, Tyvek is plastic, and cannot be recycled with paper.

fairypsychicarchive

andromedafalls

holy fuc

piisbetterthanpie

I didn’t even know it had a name

frostedshadow

WHAT

lizmitches

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

narwa

dogpuppy

sentimentalslut

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

sentimentalslut

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

sentimentalslut

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

sentimentalslut

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

frodo-of-the-nine-fingers

you can just feel the self-congratulatory glee of whoever named this paint this color, like they truly thought they were so funny and i think you're so funny paint color naming man good job paint man

the-real-seebs

never use this color on a wall you're going to be living with for a while, it looks okay at first but holy shit man

boomcomplains

Okay, but don't leave this in the tags, man.

rabioheab-deactivated20200416

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

ouroborosorder

Shoutouts to the time I had a severe fever and took benedryl and wanted to listen to feel good inc but couldn’t remember the name. I think I was crying over this

petulantpony

i’ve said it before but i wish vaginas didn’t cost money

petulantpony

you literally can not have a vagina without paying for it. vaginoplasty for some, period products for others, if you want to stop buying period products that’s gonna be expensive medicine or an expensive procedure, recovery from surgery requires time off work and vaginoplasty specifically requires money spent on dilators. our bodies shouldnt cost us this much on baseline. having a vagina shouldnt have such a hefty tax on it. it makes me feel like i’m in a fictional dystopia written for middle school classrooms when i think about it.