Sgt. M

CW Beatles fan! https://maybesgtm.straw.page/ MaybeSgtM on AO3

[perhapsmaybesgt]

Having brothers who are Lego collectors and also slobs is so fun. I spent 30 minutes taking apart the vacuum just to check if the crumb I sucked up was an irreplaceable piece from a since retired set or a cheeto.

[perhapsmaybesgt]

Cw - Vent post

I joke about OCD a lot on pretty much every account I have, but holy shit I’ve never had such an adverse reaction to such a small thing. Someone I loved for not even 5 months left me more than a month ago and I’m sitting here considering terrible things just because I went onto their profile.

A quality I’m disappointed in myself for having is that I’m hardly ever happy for people if it comes at my expense. I should be happy that they moved on and began socializing even more with our mutual friends, but I’m not. I’m genuinely angry and I don’t know why. I push these thoughts away because I know I shouldn’t have them, but I can’t help it. I really hate that they’re moving on, while I’m still stuck here obsessing over them and hoping that they’ll come back.

I mean, I’m proud of myself for not going back to our messages for an entire month, but I’m still bitchy and torn up over this. I can’t talk to anybody about it. Just thinking about it makes me furious. I sound like some evil ex when I share my thoughts and feelings, which is why I can’t talk about it. I sincerely, honest-to-God wish with every part of my body that I wouldn’t feel like this and be happy for them, while also moving on and finding others to connect with. But I can’t. The intrusive thoughts I’ve had since they left are downright disgusting. But I just don’t know what to do. I really don’t know what to do

I doubt anybody read all this bullshit but by some slim chance if you did and you’ve faced some of the same problems I’ve described, please give me some advice I mI’m losing my mind

[perhapsmaybesgt]

So there’s a lump in my breast (which is probably nothing), but I can already hear the evil ass OCD voice telling me I’m about to be slimed out by my own body.

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I need to lose weight because I’m fat again but falling back into my old habits is too hard + I’ve been having dizzy spells so maybe that’s not such a good idea

[perhapsmaybesgt]

What does one even do in this situation

[perhapsmaybesgt]

Save scummed 3 times before giving up to the Act III boss ❤️‍🩹

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I’m stuck in this cycle of being sad, then resentful, then angry, then back to sad again because that’s what made them leave in the first place. Things are not going great for me right now

[perhapsmaybesgt]

Waah! Woe is me! Woe is me! Sex!!

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I am so super tired and my laptop can’t run mewgenics what a mess

[perhapsmaybesgt]

They loved me so much and I need that type of love I’ll never find it anywhere else and I sont know what to fdo

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I’m just going to pretend they never left and they still love me and continue talking to them in my head or something I’ll figure it out

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I can’t do this anymore I just can’t I need things to change

[perhapsmaybesgt]

God I can’t do this anymore I hate being a crazy whore I just want God to put me out of my misery

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I feel like an attention whore for telling my father I have an eating disorder. McLennon sex

[perhapsmaybesgt]

I just drove over a bridge over-heading a river in horrendous rain with two semis close to me and my car slipping off the road I genuinely feel like I’m going to throw up I’m shaking so bad

[perhapsmaybesgt]

About to go write PORN.

[perhapsmaybesgt]

TikTok ED culture pisses me off because why are we advertising scales as pink and cutesy when the majority of viewers (and target audience) are children.