[perseus-personal]

[perseus-personal]

cw: mentions of death, bad dreams, and cancer

tldr: my dreams sucks and I really miss my mom

I really miss my mom. I keep dreaming about her. dreams where she never died or somehow came back from being dead. she doesn't act right, it causes weird family relationships, and I end up wanting nothing to do with her. I don't like these dreams.

I don't have a good relationship with most of my family now and these dreams make me feel worse. I want to have good dreams, where my mom is just my mom and we're doing sometime we used to do all the time, like baking or watching her shows.

this year is 10 years. it's been so long, yet sometimes it still hurts like it was yesterday. I just want to hug her and have her play with my hair while we watch her shows and I tell her about my day. I want to teach her karate and bake cupcakes and show her pictures of her chickens. I want her to meet my husband, play with my cats, and know who I am now. my mom didn't know I was a boy. she didn't know I was queer. I want her to. I want my mom back.

fuck cancer

[anxietyproblem]

[perseus-personal]

someone be proud of me I think I made a friend on the bus

[perseus-personal]

my pumpkin carving for this year! this was really fun to do

(plus I'm going to roast the seeds 😋)

[perseus-personal]

I always say that pineapple is my favorite fruit, but blueberries are really fighting for that spot right now. they're so good. I've eaten so many in the last few days. I'm gonna turn into one like Violet Beauregard

[orphiclovers-deactivated2026032]

dogs might look like their owners but cat people always have a cat with the same mental illness as them

[perseus-personal]

accurate. my cat, Daredevil, is basically me as a cat. he has anxiety and doesn't want to be alone. I swear he has little kitty cat autism too

[bonfiresofautumn]

uh oh it's almost August !

[perseus-personal]

I really want to have a penpal, but I don't know how to do it safely. I have cute stationary for letters and no one to write to. I'm scared of giving out my address, y'know. But I've always loved the idea of having a friend to send letters to. I'm not real sure what to do.

[perseus-personal]

I hate chronic pain so much. I'm in so much pain that all I can do is cry. I'm in too much pain to try to just sleep through it. I really hope my meds will work enough for me to sleep.

My sweet baby kitty Daredevil is comforting me with purring and grooming my arm. I don't know what I would do without him.

[perseus-personal]

I hate my stupid job. They won't let me sit down without the accommodations paperwork. Paperwork that I can't afford because my job's insurance didn't cover any of my appointments last year and I'm having to pay them off. Now I don't have insurance and don't have the money to make an appointment for my doctor to fill out the paperwork, which would be like 120 dollars out of pocket. it's so unfair. I'm doing my job just fine. I just need to sit if the task I'm doing requires standing still. It hurts so bad to just stand still. I can't even lean on my cane because the floors are uneven and I don't want to trip so I don't even bother bringing it in the room with me.

None of them have the freaking chronic back pain. They don't get it. I hate this

[perseus-personal]

back to green 💚

🪦 my natural hair color. you only lasted 3 months

(he him his & xe xem xir)

(you can't see it but I'm also wearing shorts, black knee socks, skeleton vans, and I have a giant safety pin as my industrial piercing in my other ear)

[null-and-void-and-gone]

me when my disabilities disable me:

[perseus-personal]

the rain feels very nice today. it's not storming, just a nice heavy sprinkle.

[perseus-personal]

I don't think I've ever posted a pic of myself here, but I was feeling handsome today and want to share the photo before I overthink.

(pronouns are he/him/his xe/xem/xir)

[perseus-personal]

I'm struggling with my relationship with my dad. he doesn't really seem to try when it comes to my name and pronouns, and I've been out for years to him. I messaged my family group chat excitedly to say my legal name change went through, and he didn't say congratulations or anything. in the next message he sent he deadnamed me. he even edited the message and could've fixed it but didn't. I left the group chat and I've been ignoring him ever since. it's just hard. I don't have my parents anymore now since he's like this and my mom died when I was in high school. my brother also really doesn't talk to me anymore either. I'm really thankful my sister loves and supports me. she's really all I have left of the family I grew up with.

[nondivisable]

me carrying a stuffed animal around while being disabled is not "infantilizing disability"

I am an actually disabled person who carries a stuffed animal as comfort bc disability is hard

what's "infantilizing disability" is assuming that just bc I carry a stuffed animal I'm not capable of making decisions for myself. or that having a stuffed animal makes me a less serious, adult person than you are.