He Hung Up - “Ooh,” you said excited, jumping up from the couch. You reached out making a grabby hand already. “Give me the phone, I’m great at pissing people off.” - Complete
This isn't Your Fault - “Tara,” you said, the calmness of your voice surprising you. “This isn’t you fault.” - Complete
A Legacies Secret - You just wanted a happy life with your girlfriend but then Ghostface attacks, revealing long thought to be buried family secrets. - Complete
A Legacies Regret - You were living in New York with your girlfriend, trying to forget about last year and just enjoy life, but that was easier said than done. (Sequel to A Legacies Secret) - Complete
Mabel (Finestkind)
Series:
Luck Runs Out - When your luck runs out you unknowingly drag Mabel back into the life, she's so desperate to escape. - Complete
Sam Carpenter
Series:
No Man's Land - Sam can’t help but be drawn to the cute stranger from her gym, even if everything about them makes them the perfect suspect, just when Ghostface has returned. - Complete
Joey (Abigail)
Series:
A Beacon in the Dark - Joey likes helping people, it's what she's best at. Hunting down the monsters of myth and legend might be the best way to save people. - Complete
Clarisse La Rue
Series:
Maybe in Another Life - You are a Hunter of Artemis, but you start to question what you truly want when you meet Clarisse and get to know her. - Complete
Summary: A series of unfortunate events puts you in the position you never wished to be in; stuck on the Air Temple Island, guarding the Avatar. You'd be fine with it, if only it didn't force you to be around Tenzin, who had no idea you were his and Lin's daughter.
Masterlist / Part 9
Word Count: 6.7k
-One minute you're on top the next you're not, missed your shot, making your heart stop. You think you've won and then it's all gone-
~X~ Y/N ~X~
A torrent of fire burst through the window of the bookstore basement just as the police truck came to a stop. “Move, move!” Asuka commanded as metalbenders rushed in, breaking into the building through the other windows. A few other officers, firebenders and waterbenders, followed right behind them. And so did you, as you landed in the middle of chaos with your blades drawn.
“Republic City Police! Freeze!” several officers yelled uselessly, like anyone in this room was going to stop now.
A torrent of fire shot right at your face before you could even get a proper look at your surroundings, and you dropped to the floor while pushing an Equalist to the side with the dull side of your wooden sword.
The Equalist grabbed your sword, and you spun around, kicking him in the guts and freeing your sword. “That’s what you get for helping them, officer!” a member of the Agni Kai Triad yelled when you jumped back to your feet. He rushed toward you, flames shaped like blades coming from his closed fists.
He tried to slash you, yet you lunged forward, crossing your arms and slipping your blades between his elbows, locking him in place for a moment. His eyes widened as you spread your arms, the blades forcing his arms apart and giving you an opening to jump and knock him out with a knee to the chin. “Extract!” you exclaimed over the yelling and sounds of fighting and bending, barely having time to jump over a bola thrown your way. You glanced back, making sure one of the metalbending officers cabled the triad up and pulled him out of the building.
Earth rocked under your feet, but before the earthbender trying to cave the building in could do it Asuka interrupted him. “Dan!” she yelled, forcing the initial fire barrage several triads threw at her and Equalists around her to hit the ceiling instead.
“Got it!” Dan yelled taking a wide stance and grunted as he pulled a wall from another room to split the two groups and block fire balls. “Y/N!” he called out through gritted teeth, but you were already moving, sliding between his back and a chi blockers.
You swung one of your blades, one jumped back, getting distracted by a Triple Threat Triad, while the other chi blocker jumped over you. Yet you twisted your other sword and jabbed it behind you, piercing through the chi-blocker’s uniform without cutting the skin and trapping him before ducking and sweeping him off his feet. “Extract!” you yelled as you punched the masked chi blocker in the face, rendering him unconscious.
“Someone get my 9 o’clock!” Asuka exclaimed from the side of the room she was in and Dan dropped just enough of the wall to let someone jump through.
You sidestepped an icicle and jumped over a fallen chi blocking training dummy and into the other side of the room. And sure enough to Asuka’s left there was absolute chaos as triads and Equalists clashed. “Need back up here!” you shouted just as one of the metalbenders jumped in as well.
She gave you a thumbs up and put her foot down, tearing the floor apart and making the two sides tilt.
It was enough to break the fight apart for a brief moment, letting you rush in. The metalbender behind you threw a pillar into the triad earthbender, sending him flying into the wall as you kicked off the side of it and jumped between two Equalists with your blades under their necks. “Stand down!” you warned them, yet they looked behind you, wincing and then you heard a pained gasp.
“What the?” you muttered, realizing the gasp sounded like Asuka and turned around just in time to see an Equalist with a dark red face mask and long, long, braided hair kicking her toward Triads with a deep cut on Asuka’s shoulder. “Dan! Help Asuka!” you exclaimed as the two Equalists backed away from you, just in time as the masked Equalist lunged forward, two metal blades, a short sword and a dagger ready.
The metalbender near you tried to pull her blades out of her hands, but they didn’t budge. “I can’t bend them!” the girl cried out and you jumped in, blocking the slash aimed at the metalbender.
“Focus on others! I’ve got this one!” you instructed, looking into the woman’s eyes. “Fire Nation, huh,” you realized and did your best to memorize anything about her appearance. She was shorter, slim, had a scar under her right eye, partially covered by the mask, looked to be in her mid-twenties.
“Don’t associate me with a nation created by benders,” she snapped in a raspy voice, her eyes blazing with fury as the two of you clashed, exchanging quick slashes. You slashed at the tip of her sword, feeling an unusual weight behind it, it felt much heavier than regular steel blades you clashed with.
Special weapons then, like Lieutenant’s? She could be one of the combat specialists then.
You pushed that thought to the back of your mind, closing the distance and aiming to defeat her then and there as you thrust your other sword forward, forcing her to sidestep. Arresting her would bring this nightmare closer to its end. You went to kick her, but she slashed with her dagger, forcing you to abruptly stop the kick. She spun around, dropping to her hands and trying to kick the side of your head.
You leaned back and threw your sword into the air, catching the kick just as it passed by your jaw. The woman twisted and threw her dagger at you, forcing you to step aside and still get a small cut on your biceps. You still caught your sword as it fell back down and slashed down, forcing her to lunge forward to dodge you.
You went after her, but a fireball forced you to stop and you gritted your teeth, feeling the heat licking at your skin as the fireball flew past you. You saw a triad throwing punches toward you and the Equalist woman you’ve been fighting. The woman, however, kept her eyes on you as she weaved through the fireballs and attacked you.
Her blade cut through the fireball and you raised your own blade, blocking her slash and sliding the wooden blade across her sword, ramming your elbow into her chest. A huge boulder disrupted you again, forcing you to jump forward, pulling the woman with you. She kicked your side, pushing you off her as you both rolled back to your feet.
The spinning sound barely registered in your ear, letting you jump over a bola aimed at your feet as the woman rushed at you again, forcing you to block the edge of her sword with the pommel of your own. With a quick flick of your wrist you spun your sword around, deflecting her blade as you landed and swung your other sword up catching and cutting the woman’s mask off.
She gasped, raising her forearms to block her face. “Pull back!” she yelled, making the few remaining chi blockers rush for the doors.
You suddenly coughed, feeling a strange taste in your mouth. You looked around, seeing the chaos the battle had left behind, the officers still clashing with triads as Dan helped Asuka back to her feet, his uniform a bit damaged and burnt.
And then, before you could decide whether to go after the Equalists or stop the Triads, Dan’s eyes widened. “Gas! Get down!” he exclaimed, and your eyes widened in horror as one of the Equalists who fled fired a lit arrow into the room, igniting the gas and causing an explosion.
~X~ KORRA ~X~
“Korra, focus!” Mako yelled over the sound of elements clashing as she failed to block an earth disk she absolutely should have been able to block with ease.
“I am focused!” she snapped back, dodging to her right and bumping into Bolin, leaving them both open for the other team’s waterbender and earthbender to hit them, sending them not one, but two zones back. ‘So much for being focused,’ she berated herself, barely getting up in time to dodge a ball of fire thrown at her.
She attacked, aiming at the other team’s earthbender, and for a brief moment she got a few good hits in, getting a good rhythm, until that sinking feeling came back swinging, Why weren’t you at the arena? You said you’d be here. Your shift was supposed to start in an hour.
Something happened, she was sure of it.
The moment of distraction cost her as she got knocked off the platform and fell into the water. She swam up and smacked the surface in frustration. She swam to the platform and climbed onto it, looking toward Asami, hoping you’d be there. You weren’t. Asami was the only one there.
Boar-q-pines won the first round, with Mako and Bolin just barely holding on in the third zone when the bell rang. Korra sighed, trying to focus. She couldn’t leave Mako and Bolin and blindly rush to the police station demanding answers.
The second round started and she still couldn’t properly find her footing, not even noticing Bolin dodging into her. At least this time they didn’t get sent back to zone two. She heard Mako’s frustrated sigh and narrowed her eyes, her own frustration getting the better of her as she caught the other team’s firebender by his foot and pulled him off his feet before repeatedly bouncing him up and down on a torrent of water.
“Unnecessary roughness! Move back a zone!” the referee yelled, making her stop.
“I’ll unnecessary rough you up!” she snapped, splashing a water whip his way as she walked to the zone two.
“And the Avatar gets slapped with a yellow fan. I don’t know what’s eating her, but she’s not the same waterbender we’re used to seeing, folks!” and as an insult to injury she just got publicly called out.
The match continued, with Mako barely managing to stay in zone one and win them the second round.
“Both of you, pull it together,” he berated them, rightfully frustrated with both her and Bolin and yet Bolin wouldn’t even look at her and Korra bit her lip, knowing exactly what his problem was.
Yet, despite Mako’s scolding, she remained half-present in the match, dodging and attacking, but the only thing she truly contributed was standing her ground, still, it was enough to get a tiebreaker.
“Round three is a tie! We go to a tiebreaker to decide the match,” the referee exclaimed, tossing a coin. “The Boar-q-pines win the coin toss! Which element do you choose?”
They looked at one another before their earthbender stepped forward. “We choose earth,” he said, and Korra unfortunately saw the logic in their choice. Mako was playing really well tonight, keeping them alive essentially, and she, as distracted as she was, was still the Avatar and their waterbender was the weakest member of their team.
Korra crossed her arms over her chest, feeling angry with herself. If she played better maybe it wouldn’t have come down to this. Bolin stepped onto the center platform and it rose up as the tiebreaker began. They exchanged a few earth disks, Bolin went in for a grapple, but the other guy threw him back and Bolin struck from midair, knocking his opponent back and making him stumble.
At that point it was easy for Bolin to finish the job and win the match.
“The Future Industries Fire Ferrets win their quarterfinal match! That was a close one, folks. Youth trumps experience tonight!”
Korra let out a sigh of relief, feeling like she owed them an apology for how she played, yet she still couldn’t get rid of that uncomfortable feeling.
~X~ Y/N ~X~
You coughed, smoke filling your lungs as you blindly reached for your swords. You blinked a few times, feeling your eyes tearing up as you finally found one of your blades and stabbed it into the ground to push yourself up. The heat made you dizzy as you looked around, jumping when a burning cabinet collapsed.
Fire was consuming the walls, surrounding everyone inside and you saw Asuka, breathing heavily on her knees, clutching at her right arm. “Asuka,” you stumbled forward as Dan and a few other officers began getting up as well.
She began falling back and you jumped forward, barely catching her before her head hit the floor. “Oh, good, you’re alive,” she said weakly, her eyes filling with tears as you saw the extent of the damage.
“Spirits,” you gasped, her right arm was heavily burnt, and the burn went up to her chin. “Where are the waterbenders! Put the damn fire out!” you yelled trying to as gently and carefully as you could lift the woman into your arms.
“No time,” Dan said through gritted teeth and planted his feet before straining open a hole in the wall and made a slope to the street without making an already fragile building collapse on top of you. “Come on, grab whoever you can, we’re getting out!” he barked orders, hoisting two triads on his back and rushing outside as quickly as he could.
You looked at Asuka’s face, covered in dust and twisted in pain. “We’ll get you help,” you promised, carrying her outside as waterbenders rushed in to put the fire out.
You took the woman to the police truck and Dan helped you lay her on the ground before you stumbled back and collapsed, breathing heavily. “Did anyone call for backup?” you asked, looking at him.
Dan nodded, leaning back against the truck. “They’ll be here soon,” he took a deep, shaky breath. “She really saved us,” he muttered, looking at Asuka.
You nodded, remembering Asuka running toward the arrow, containing the explosion to the best of her abilities and making the fire go around everyone inside and hit the walls. At the cost of severe wounds.
The waterbenders got out of the building as soon as they put out the fire and you looked at Dan. “Let’s go, maybe there’s some evidence we can get,” you said, making the man nod and follow you with another two earthbenders. Firebenders and waterbenders would be too vulnerable in a building that could collapse.
The four of you went inside, predictably finding absolutely nothing but burnt remains of the room you fought in. If there was anything here in the first place, it was gone by now. “They retreated, maybe there’s something in other rooms,” one of the officers pointed out, nervously glancing at the ceiling when a bit of it collapsed near him.
“Let’s be quick, you two check if there are any other rooms here, don’t separate, if the building starts collapsing one holds it up, the other opens an exit. Y/N, you’re with me,” Dan instructed.
You nodded, kicking open the doors some of the Equalists fled through and raised your sword just in case. There was no one nearby and you sheathed one of your swords and pulled out a flashlight. Dan and you walked down the hall. “Feels like we’re no longer under the bookstore,” you muttered, realizing the hall stretched a bit too long to be solely in the building you were just in.
Dan pulled out the radio he grabbed before going back into the building. “This is Dan, did we see anyone fleeing the building north from the bookstore?”
The radio crackled for a moment. “Negative, streets are clear,” another officer who was stationed outside the whole time replied.
“Copy that,” Dan replied as the two of you reached another door. “They might be inside,” he pointed out.
You shrugged, turning the flashlight off and pulling your other sword out. Dan snorted and kicked the door open getting into the position to punch the ground, yet he completely stopped, seeing not only an empty room, but a dead end. There weren’t any doors or openings in the ceiling, nothing.
You turned the flashlight back on as you walked in with him. “Am I just blind?” he asked, looking around the empty room.
You looked around, tapping the walls with one of your swords. “It’s solid, it really is a dead end,” you muttered, tapping the ceiling as well and finding the same result.
“Got any ideas what Fu would do here?” he asked and you looked around again.
What would Fu do? You looked at the floor, tiled, no signs of any mechanism. “Let’s go get some water,” you said, turning around and heading back through the hall.
“Wait a second! What are you-“ Dan let out an exasperated sigh and threw his arms up, following after you.
You went to the police truck, not even getting one of the waterbenders, instead you just grabbed one of the smaller water containers and headed back to the room, with Dan, clearly annoyed, following you. “Fu would do this,” you said, spilling the water over the floor and then you just stood there waiting.
Dan blinked a few times beside you. “You want to check if there are any openings in the floor,” he realized, making you nod. “You know you could have just asked me to check, right?” he asked dryly as the water slowly dropped.
You focused on the water, slowly vanishing between thin lines forming a square in the middle of the room. “I forgot,” you said simply.
“Right, nonbender,” Dan muttered as most of the water drained. He widened his stance slightly and slowly raised his hand, making the tiles rise up, revealing a hole leading to another tunnel. “That explains a lot,” he muttered and lowered the tiles back down seamlessly.
“Let’s get out of here, we’ve got enough on our plates tonight as it is,” you said, knowing you were in for a long night of interrogation. The two of you went outside and you froze, seeing five covered bodies laid on the ground as captured triads and Equalists were being taken to the police trucks.
“There are casualties, two triad members, three Equalists,” one of the officers said and your blood ran cold as you slowly approached the bodies.
“Have you identified the Equalists?” you asked, your heart pounding in your chest as the officer shook his head. You pulled the sheet down, finding a bloodstained mask; looking down revealed an ice spike in the Equalist’s abdomen. Your hands trembled for a moment before you took a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever you were about to see.
There was no point in hesitating, yet your hand still trembled as you unmasked the first Equalist, seeing a young male, no older than twenty, darker skin suggesting that he was either from one of the Water Tribes, or that one of his parents was. You moved on to the second, an older woman, late forties, maybe early fifties, probably Fire Nation. The third one was a male in his thirties, his eyes, still open in frozen fear, suggested he was also from the Fire Nation. You closed his eyes and covered him up before taking a step back.
Your jaw was still clenched, your entire body tense as you climbed into the police truck and sat down on the opposite side from Dan. “Byako?” he asked.
“No,” you replied in an even, detached tone as the truck began moving.
Dan let out a long sigh of relief as he buried his face in his hands. He remained silent until the truck stopped behind the police station. “We’ve got work to do,” he said, though his voice cracked at the end.
You just nodded, looking forward as your hand clutched the handle of your blade, desperately grounding yourself.
~X~ KORRA ~X~
Korra jumped off the ferry the moment it was close to the Air Temple Island, using fire to boost her jump and land on the docks. If something happened in the city Tenzin would know for sure, so, she ran, rushing past several White Lotus guards and air acolytes.
She ran through the garden and jumped through the window, stumbling into a wall before regaining her footing and sliding the doors to the living room open. Tenzin and Pema were there, both of their jaws dropping as Korra stood there a bit out of breath.
“Did anything happen in the city?” she asked immediately.
Tenzin looked at her, still baffled. “No? Why would you think that? How did your match go?” Tenzin asked, and normally Korra would be delighted that he asked about probending, but now wasn’t exactly the time.
“Y/N didn’t show up to the match, we won by the way, so, I don’t know, did something happen? Did you hear anything?” she asked, though her body visibly relaxed. If Tenzin didn’t know right away, then nothing happened.
Pema smiled, though she tried to hide it and Korra, calmed down by Tenzin not panicking, blushed, realizing how this looked. She half expected you to show up behind her, telling her something came up. You had a knack for showing up in inconvenient times, apparently.
“I can call the station and check if anything out of the ordinary happened, but I’m sure it’s just paperwork. The police are actively working on locating Amon,” Tenzin said as he got up and headed to the telephone.
Korra nodded, sitting down next to Pema as the woman poured her a tea to help her calm down a bit faster. She definitely needed that with how fast her heart raced from the moment the match was over.
“Yes, I understand, I’ll wait,” Tenzin said in a tone that suddenly made Korra’s blood run cold. He sounded concerned and Korra looked at him, seeing the frown on his face as he stood there, impatiently stroking his beard. She heard a muffled voice coming from the telephone, though she couldn’t make out any words, she just saw Tenzin’s eyes widening. “Do you know if officer Y/N was involved?” Tenzin asked cautiously. “I understand, thank you,” he hung up the phone.
Korra jumped to her feet without a second thought. “What happened?” she asked, a drop of sweat sliding down her cheek.
“Now, before you do anything, we don’t know if Y/N was involved, but there was an incident tonight, triads attacked an Equalist hideout, a police unit was sent there,” he barely finished that sentence, and Korra was already running outside again.
“Naga!” she yelled, running toward the shore as Naga caught up with her within seconds. Korra jumped onto Naga’s back. “Police station! Naga, go! Go, go, go!” she urged her, grabbing the reins tightly.
Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest as the reins dug into her palms. You were there, she felt it in her bones. It wasn’t paperwork, it wasn’t new clues, you were there.
And she wasn’t.
She didn’t even wait for Naga to stop before she jumped off, running up the stairs of the police station and running to the receptionist’s desk. “Is Y/N here?!” she exclaimed, slamming her hands on the desk.
The woman sitting at the desk flinched, her glasses nearly falling off as she scrambled to catch them, and only then did she look at Korra. “I’m sorry, what?” she stammered, confused and caught off guard.
A vein popped on Korra’s forehead. “Y/N? She’s an officer, is she here?” she asked again impatiently.
The woman blinked, still confused. “Let me check, do you know her identification code?” the woman asked and now it was Korra’s turn to look confused. Why couldn’t she just tell them your name and get the information she needed? What identification code?! Why would she possibly know that?!
“Patience Korra,” she heard Tenzin’s voice and turned around, seeing him walking into the station. He walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder and nodded to comfort her before turning to the woman. “Excuse me, officer, there’s been a raid tonight, involving police, triads and Equalists,” the woman’s eyes immediately widened when Tenzin said that. “Korra and I are wondering if you could tell us if everyone is all right?” Tenzin asked.
The woman’s face fell slightly and she shook her head. “A lot of people got hurt, the unit captain is at the hospital, the rest are questioning everyone they arrested tonight,” she flipped through what Korra assumed were the night’s reports and found the one, brief, probably written in haste. “There’s no mention of officer Y/N being injured,” she said and despite the news of many being injured Korra let out a sigh of relief.
She gripped the edge of the table, realizing her legs were shaking and she looked at Tenzin. “Can you get us inside?” she asked him, begging with her eyes.
Tenzin sighed and nodded, using his status as the councilman to go past the public area and head to the offices and cells. The two of them walked down the halls, past officers rushing with stacks of papers, and eventually they reached a dimly lit room with a glass wall, looking into the interrogation room.
And there you were, your clothes looked dusty, singed and ripped in a few spots, and she was sure there was a bloodstain on your sleeve. But you were alive and well from the looks of it, and Korra visibly relaxed next to Tenzin. She looked to the side, seeing chief Beifong and a male officer that looked like he was also in a fight next to her.
He noticed her. “Would you look at that? The Avatar graced us with her presence. Done with your match?” the officer sneered, glaring at her. Korra felt both anger and shame rising, coursing through her. She should have been helping, right? She should have been there if something this serious was going on.
“Enough,” chief Beifong snapped, her eyes not leaving the interrogation room in front of her.
“Is officer Y/N okay?” Tenzin asked and Korra could have sworn the room trembled from chief Beifong’s anger alone.
“She is fine, now get out,” she sneered, her armor cracking slightly with how tightly she crossed her arms over her chest. Korra opened her mouth to argue, but chief Beifong beat her to it. “Out now! Before I arrest you for interfering with the investigation!” she threatened.
So, against her will, and with Tenzin pulling her out, Korra got out, choosing to wait on the stairs of the police station with Naga. Tenzin sat by her side, patient and quiet, comforting her without forcing her to talk.
And then, as the sun slowly rose, Naga perked up, her tail wagging before Korra heard slow, tired footsteps. “Hey, Korra,” you said, and she spun around as she got up, finally seeing that you were truly okay.
Exhausted, looking like you were about to drop, but okay.
Korra ran to you, closing the distance and pulled you into a tight hug.
“Are you okay?” she asked, pulling back slightly to check for herself. There was a bandage around your left biceps and she quickly looked into your eyes.
“It’s a bit more than a scratch. Chief was being fussy,” you dismissed it and then swallowed the lump in your throat, your lip trembling as you let out a shaky breath. And then you suddenly pulled her back against you, hugging her tightly and dropping your forehead on her shoulder.
Korra immediately hugged you back, feeling you slumping slightly, leaning more weight on her. “Lean on me, I can hold you,” she assured you, and you listened, letting her hold you up.
“There were casualties,” you whispered, and she felt your fingers digging weakly into her back.
Korra swallowed the lump in her throat, guilt coming back full force as she looked at you, as she felt the weight of you on her.
“Korra, we should head back to Air Temple Island, let officer Y/N rest,” Tenzin said, approaching the two of you.
Korra looked at you, and you nodded. “I’ve got her,” she said as Naga lay down next to her, letting her help you onto Naga’s back. Spirits, you were really tired. You moved back on the saddle, patting the spot in front of you. Korra shook her head, smiling a bit as she climbed onto Naga’s back in front of you.
“I’ll see you on the island then,” Tenzin said, heading back to Oogi.
Korra glanced back, feeling you loosely wrap your arms around her waist. You leaned your forehead against her shoulder as Naga got up and began walking back to the Air Temple Island. “Naga, run,” Korra instructed in a softer tone, but then she felt you shaking your head slightly.
“Let her walk if you’re not in a rush,” you muttered sleepily, but before Korra could say anything she heard your breathing evening out and when she moved a bit to look at your face, she noticed you actually fell asleep behind her.
Korra’s eyes softened at that and without her even having to say it, Naga just walked.
~X~ Y/N ~X~
The sunlight hit your face in a way it really shouldn’t have in your apartment, and you frowned, reaching up to cover your eyes. It was quiet, too quiet to be your apartment, and the sound of breathing and occasional snoring definitely didn’t fit the city.
You blinked, rubbing your eyes and realized you were in your room at the Air Temple Island. ‘Right, Korra came to the police station, I fell asleep, got here,’ you thought, turning on your side and there she was, sleeping against Naga in your room. You smiled, remembering her bringing you to your room and going to tell Tenzin while you changed into clean clothes. At least she was more responsible than you and actually told someone.
You stretched a bit and relaxed, the last night still weighing heavily on you, but you couldn’t deny that it was easier to handle by Korra’s side. “Hey,” you said softly as she blinked, annoyed by the sunlight.
That immediately woke her up and she looked at you, grinning sheepishly. It only now crossed your mind that she spent the night in front of the police station, waiting for you with Tenzin.
“You know you could have slept in bed, right?” you asked, teasing her slightly.
Korra rolled her eyes and sat up with her back against Naga’s side. “I wanted to stay here,” she huffed, looking away with a slight blush on her face.
“Like I said, could have slept in bed,” you repeated, smirking slightly as Korra blinked a few times before her blush spread.
Before she could say or do anything the doors slammed open, making both of you jump slightly and then you fully remembered where you were as Ikki and Meelo launched themselves at you, yelling your name like they haven’t seen you for months. Meelo collided with you, pushing you back on the bed and Ikki fell over your torso, pinning you to the bed.
“I will forever thank the spirits that you are the serious one,” you muttered, though your voice came out muffled, as you pointed at Jinora. Forget Tenzin’s reaction, you weren’t sure you’d survive your half-siblings if they found out you were related to them.
Korra laughed a bit, amused by the circumstances you found yourself in. Apparently, she got over your teasing.
“I appreciate that,” Jinora said and you heard her walking into the room.
“Are you okay? Did you arrest anyone? Was the fighting scary? Are your swords here?” Ikki bombarded you with questions as her and Meelo finally moved off you and let you sit back up. Ikki sat on the bed beside you and Meelo got behind you, resting his chin on the top of your head while holding your shoulders.
“Yes, yes, no, yes,” you said, yawning a bit.
Ikki tilted her head to the side. “Really? It wasn’t scary?” she asked curiously.
“That’s right! Officers aren’t scared of anything!” Meelo declared for you and you just shrugged. “We’re hungry,” he then said and you raised an eyebrow, looking at Jinora for explanation.
“We decided to wait for you and Korra,” she shrugged like it was something you should have expected.
“Right, perfectly normal,” you said slowly, still processing what she said.
Korra smiled and got up. “Come on, before the airbenders starve,” she teased and to your horror, as if it was some twisted joke, your stomach growled.
‘Shut up, body, don’t betray me!’ you mentally pleaded, hating the timing more than anything. “Can’t have that now, can we?” you said, hopping to your feet and, with Meelo still hanging from your shoulders, headed to the living room with Korra, Jinora and Ikki.
~X~ ASAMI ~X~
It was the night of the semifinals, three days after the last match and Asami leaned on the railing, watching Mako, Bolin and Korra. You were next to her, having your eyes on Korra once again.
Asami heard about what happened, read about it in the newspapers first and then talked to Korra about it yesterday when Korra came to practice with Mako and Bolin. “Are you okay? I heard what happened,” Asami asked in a gentle, concerned tone, since she didn’t get a chance to ask you before. Physically you looked fine, but there was no harm in checking.
Or so she thought. You visibly froze at her question, taken aback.
Asami frowned slightly, recognizing very quickly that you weren’t exactly used to someone asking you that. “Yeah,” you paused slightly, barely noticeable to most people, but her father made sure she could read people really well for when she takes his company over. “Thanks,” and there it was. Yet another proof that you weren’t completely sure how to react to someone caring.
“Of course,” she said, choosing not to touch you. A part of her fearing you might skittishly flee like a startled cat owl.
The match began, and Asami focused on the game, seeing the team working a lot better than last time. Bolin still seemed to struggle with Korra’s rejection, and it would probably be a good idea if they talked about it, but Korra was back in the game. If Asami had to guess, you probably talked with Korra about the last match, making sure Korra didn’t feel guilty.
And Mako was well, Mako. She smiled, fondly watching his usual cool and collected fighting style.
On paper, the Buzzard Wasps were evenly matched with the Fire Ferrets, but it didn’t really seem that way with how the match was going. Bolin blocked an incoming fireball with an earth disk and ducked, giving Mako an opening, and Korra struck the same player from the side, sending him back a zone.
“They are playing well tonight,” she commented.
“Tonight?” you asked; sounding very confused.
Asami glanced at you just for a moment.
“And a wonderful barrage from Korra, she definitely found her rhythm tonight!” the commentator exclaimed as Korra knocked one of the Buzzard Wasps off the platform entirely and your eyes widened slightly as you realized what happened.
“Oh,” you muttered under your breath. Your gaze softened and you leaned a bit more on the railing, and Asami looked away from the match entirely, not just a brief glance. She looked at your eyes, seeing the softness that nearly took her breath away, and it wasn’t even aimed at her!
And she thought Korra fell hard.
She blinked a few times, focusing back on the match as Mako and Bolin knocked another player off and quickly finished the match by easily knocking the third player off as well, ending the semifinals in the first round.
“In a display that undeniably proved they earned their place in the tournament the Fire Ferrets are headed to the finals, folks!” the commentator announced as the team waved at the crowd, basking in their victory.
~X~ KORRA ~X~
That was quick, and for once Korra was glad that it didn’t take them until the third round to end the match. They’ve had too many close calls in less than a handful of matches she was in. Still, there was one thing she felt like she had to sort out, because it was getting unbearable to watch Bolin like this. She approached him on the platform taking them back to the team booth.
“So, Bolin,” she opened, noticing Mako backing away and nodding thankfully his way. He just gave her a quick thumbs up, clearly approving. “I know things have been a bit weird between us,” she said, turning back to Bolin.
Bolin sighed, taking his helmet off. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at his helmet. “I guess I got my hopes up,” he said, finally looking at her and smiling. “I really do think you’re amazing, and I had this idea in my head, and now I kind of disappointed myself,” he explained.
Korra blinked, taken aback. “Yourself? I’m the one who turned you down,” she reminded him, genuinely thinking the rejection was the main issue.
“No, I mean yes, that hurt too, but like,” he paused, gesturing with his hands while still holding his helmet as he opened his mouth a few times. “I got so stuck in this idea of what we, what you and I could be and why we’d work, that I stopped seeing what we really are,” he said.
“Really good friends?” Korra offered and he quickly and enthusiastically nodded.
“Yeah! Really good friends! We have fun together, right?” he asked, finally looking at her, and Korra grinned.
“We have a great time together,” Korra agreed, completely honest with him. “You’re one of a kind, Bolin,” she complimented him, and his whole face lit up as he grinned.
“Go on, please, I enjoy the praise,” he only half joked as they reached the team booth and Mako gave her an approving nod before going over to Asami. Pabu, who was on the railing next to Asami jumped, running up Bolin’s arm to his shoulder.
Korra looked at you, you looked proud, grinning at her. “You were incredible,” you said as she approached you and Korra grinned.
“You boys smell something in here?” a voice she didn’t recognize suddenly spoke and she saw another player heading to the platform they just arrived on, looking like the most pompous guy she’s ever seen. “Wait, I know what that is. Yeah, that's the scent of losers,” he sneered, his teammates laughing behind him.
She didn’t even know the guy, and he already made her furious with just how smug he was. “Who is that?” Korra asked, having never seen the guy.
“That’s Tahno, a real piece of work and captain of the Wolfbats, the champions,” Mako told her and Korra glanced down as the two teams got ready.
She had never disliked someone that quickly before, and spirits she wanted them to win, just so she could wipe that stupid, smug look off Tahno’s face. But before she could even properly pay attention to the match the opposing team was knocked off the platform, so brutally and efficiently that stretchers were brought and someone had to jump into the water to pull them out.
“Looks like someone will actually make you work for a win, at least a bit,” you said quite nonchalantly, not doubting their victory for one second.
“With a brutal round one knockout, the defending champs secure their spot in the finals. I hope the Ferrets know a good doctor, because they're gonna need one!” the commentator, however, clearly didn’t agree with you, already acting like they lost.
You scoffed, glaring at the commentator booth. “Fucking bullshit,” you cursed and flipped the commentator off.
Bolin choked on his spit, Mako flinched at the curse and Asami cleared her throat, looking away.
Korra shook her head, too used to you cursing by this point, she just reached out, grabbing your wrist and leading you outside. “Come on, let’s get some fresh air before you have to go to the station,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow for practice!” she exclaimed, saying goodbye to Mako, Bolin, Asami and Pabu.
Summary: You thought you knew your limits, that you knew when to stop. You firmly believed you could stop at any moment, that it was all your choice, but some things don't go that way. Sometimes the things you think are under your control are actually controlling you.
Story Masterlist / Part 23
Word Count: 6k
-I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take, when people run in circles, it's a very, very mad world, mad world-
~X~ NATALIE ~X~ January 6th, 1997 ~X~
How could she have let this happen?
Every reasonable part of her brain screamed at her that she wasn’t being fair. That she couldn’t have known something like this could happen. Yet despite every reasonable excuse, every acknowledgement that she was too exhausted, stretched too thin and way past her limit, all Natalie could see was the gun going off, ending Britt’s life.
She sat in front of the cabin, staring at the evidence of her own helplessness. She should have taken the gun, should have made it more difficult to reach, should have done something when she noticed Britt wasn’t well.
She didn’t notice though, did she? She wasn’t paying attention, she dismissed it, leaving it to others to notice. And now Britt was dead and Natalie was drowning in guilt.
“Nat, you shouldn’t be here, you’ll catch a cold,” Travis warned her, the worry in his voice only reminding her of how much of a failure she was. “Come on, let’s get you inside,” he wrapped her in a blanket, pulling her until she was standing up and following him inside so she could look at another reminder of how much she failed everyone, especially those she loved.
She stumbled into the cabin, or what was left of it anyway, and her eyes fell on you, motionless aside from shallow, slow breathing, the back of your head resting against Jackie’s chest as the girl sat behind you, refusing to leave your side. You’d be gone soon as well, wouldn’t you? Leaving her to suffer through this.
Maybe Britt had the right idea. Maybe there really was no point anymore.
What were they even waiting for? Rescue? It would never come.
If Shauna’s belly was any indication of time passing it’s already been seven, maybe even eight months.
She looked away, unable to look at you, though it wasn’t like there was anywhere pleasant to look. The cabin was crammed full, leaving barely any place to move when everyone was inside. You were in one corner with Jackie, Shauna was in another, and now wherever Natalie looked she saw pain, people comforting one another, Tai and Van trying to calm Robin down while Akilah tried to focus on Mari.
Natalie swallowed the lump in her throat, remembering the blood splatter that left Mari and Robin’s faces covered in blood.
“If only I was faster,” she heard Robin sobbing and could guess Mari was thinking the exact same thing.
“Let it out, we’re here,” Van whispered, doing what she could to support the girl that just lost her best friend.
Natalie buried her face in her hands, letting out a shaky breath. “I thought I knew what hell looked like,” she whispered, just loud enough for Travis, who sat down next to her, to hear.
“We all thought that,” he whispered back and she heard him leaning back against the wall, tentatively, afraid that it might break at the slightest unnecessary pressure. “We were wrong,” he said, probably looking toward you and Jackie.
And the worst part about it was that despite everything that happened, a part of Natalie feared that the worst was yet to come. And she dreaded it, almost envying Britt and you for getting out.
The cabin doors opened again as Lottie came back, empty-handed. “It’s gone now,” she said, having taken it upon herself to get rid of the revolver and the bullets.
It wasn’t like you’d need them.
Natalie looked at you, seeing you still stubbornly clinging to life.
~X~ SHAUNA ~X~
How could this have all happened? The guilt she desperately tried to push back and ignore gnawed at her from the inside, the thought that it was your sickness that pushed Britt to do what she did and take her own life plaguing her.
Maybe if you were still healthy maybe Britt would still be alive. If for no other reason than because the revolver would have been by your side, and not readily available to be taken and used.
Shauna hugged herself, feeling the cold deep in her bones despite the blanket around her shoulders and Mel sitting next to her. The girl hadn’t spoken, she just curled up against Shauna’s side and held Shauna’s hand. It should have felt nice, in a way it did, but a part of Shauna still wished it was Jackie in Mel’s place.
She stole a single glance, noticing the way Jackie was still clinging to you, even harder now.
“What should we do?” Tai’s voice interrupted her thoughts and broke the silence in the cabin. “We, we can’t leave her out there like that,” her voice trembled and Shauna turned her head, seeing Tai hunched forward sitting on the floor, her face buried in her hands.
“We can’t bury her,” Van replied weakly, wiping her eyes like she’d been crying for a while now. She probably was. “Robin?” she tried, like Robin had the most say in the matter. They were best friends, after all. So in a way, yeah, she was the one whose opinion mattered the most.
Robin had been sitting in the same spot Britt once sat in, wearing Britt’s jacket and clinging to it like it was the only lifeline she had left. Shauna glanced at Jackie, understanding that feeling and wishing she had something to cling to as well that was Jackie’s.
“She likes,” Robin choked on that word, and no one spoke, only Lottie approached to comfort the girl. “Britt liked looking at the fireworks,” she sobbed, not even bothering to wipe the tears away. “The closest thing here was the campfire we’d light outside,” she said slowly, in a shaky tone, barely holding herself together.
No one spoke for a minute, and finally Natalie stood up, looking at the doors. “We’ll burn her then,” she decided, taking on the leadership role when no one else had the strength to do it.
“Should we wait?” Gen suddenly asked and the cold became even more unbearable as they all instantly understood why she’d ask that question, and looking at Gen only confirmed it as she looked at you.
“It would probably save us energy,” coach Scott said, looking at Natalie apologetically.
Shauna looked at Jackie, seeing the panic and adrenaline taking over as she pushed herself to sit up straight and pulled your body closer to her.
“Why would you even say something like that? Why are you acting like Y/N isn’t going to wake up?” Jackie demanded as loudly as she could, yet it was barely any louder than her usual speaking voice. Even with all that adrenaline and panic she couldn’t muster any strength.
“Jackie, it’s been three days,” Tai said what most of them already thought, but even her voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.
“Maybe we shouldn’t wait,” Misty suddenly said, looking at her feet and squeezing her hands nervously as she tried to make herself as small as possible. “She’s just suffering for nothing,” she explained quietly as all of them looked at her now.
“What?” Jackie asked just as the same word crossed Shauna’s mind.
Waiting for you to die, sure, but, but-
But no one spoke against the idea, the looming death breaking them from within in ways they knew they couldn’t take much longer, and they turned to Lottie for guidance.
Lottie visibly swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes shining with unshed tears, empathetically looking at Natalie. “Nat? Should we let her rest?”
Natalie stumbled to the side, she probably would have fallen if Travis didn’t catch her in time as the girl’s legs gave out and she slumped against him, unable to hold herself up. Her breathing grew erratic and she clutched at her chest, like she was trying to rip her own heart out so it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
“No, you hear me! You’re not doing anything to her!” Jackie cried out, trying to sit up but failing to do it as she crumbled back against the wall. The sleep deprivation, the exhaustion from that day at the lake, it was all too much for her, and now, when it potentially mattered the most, she couldn’t even muster the strength to get between you and danger.
Shauna looked at Natalie, sure that she’d adamantly reject any idea of killing you out of mercy. You were her best friend, she was ready to go to war with the entire cabin if she had to. Shauna half-expected her to grab her rifle and stand between you and whoever tried to end you.
“It’s been three days,” Lottie said gently, getting up and taking Natalie’s hands. “She wouldn’t want the two of you to suffer like this,” she said, looking at Jackie for a moment before turning her attention back to Natalie.
“That’s bullshit! Y/N is still fighting!” Jackie argued, but Natalie nodded.
“She suffered for too long,” Natalie agreed, managing to pull herself away from Travis and turning to look at you.
“Nat, wait, what are you going to do?” Van asked as her and Tai stumbled to their feet, horrified, but not arguing against this. The whole cabin, aside from Jackie seemed to be in agreement. You might as well be dead, so letting you suffer was just prolonging the torture.
Jackie scrambled to the side, barely pulling herself away from the wall and getting in front of you as a shield and breathing heavily. “Stop,” she pleaded, fresh tears filling up her eyes.
“Her nightmare has to end,” Natalie whispered through tears, taking the closest pillow. With how shallow your breathing was, a dark thought that even a hand over your mouth would do crossed Shauna’s mind.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Travis asked her, not asking if it should be done, but if she was the one who should do it. Natalie swallowed hard and nodded, like it had to be her, whether she wanted to do it or not. She was your best friend.
“Natalie, she’ll wake up,” Jackie pleaded, breathing heavily as Natalie took a step closer, slowly, like she was forcing herself to do it.
Shauna watched, waiting for anyone to stop this, waiting for a miracle to happen, for you to give them even a single sign that you were still fighting.
“Even if she wakes up, we don’t know the state she’ll be in,” Misty said slowly, not detached, not uncaring, just more aware than the rest of them of what the outcome could be, even if you did somehow wake up.
It only seemed to strengthen Natalie’s resolve to free you from your suffering.
Yet despite the ominous echoes of Natalie’s footsteps, all Shauna could look at was Jackie’s face, twisted in horror and fear so primal it overcame even Shauna. She had never seen Jackie like that, not even when you fell into the water, not even when Misty said you were in a coma.
And then, before she even realized what was going on, before she even registered what she was doing, Shauna stood up. “Stop it, Natalie,” she demanded, her legs moving before she could stop herself. ‘What am I doing?’ she wondered as she stepped in Natalie’s path, blocking her from reaching Jackie and you.
Natalie’s eyes widened in utter shock, like Shauna grew a second head. In a way, she thought that might be less shocking. “What?” Natalie asked breathlessly, like she hadn’t taken a single breath since she began walking toward you with the pillow.
“Shauna?” she heard Jackie whispering her name behind her, for the first time in so long not saying her name like it was venom or a wound that wouldn’t close.
“Why are you,” she paused, steadying her voice, her entire body. “Why are you giving up on her?” she demanded, throwing her hand back and pointing at you. “She is still holding on; she survived the Doomcoming, she should have drowned, should have frozen to death several times, and she’s still breathing. And I hate how stubborn she is, but I know she’s not gone yet.”
Jackie’s breath hitched behind her and Natalie dropped the pillow to the floor. The tears followed after it, soaking the pillow at her feet.
“Now you care? You just feel guilty,” Mari snapped at her and it felt like a slap to the face, almost enough for the bitter part of her telling her this was what she got for trying to help you.
“So? At least Shauna isn’t giving up on her!” Mel joined her, not out of some care for you, but purely to support Shauna, the same way Shauna so often would have taken Jackie’s side regardless of what was going on, the same way Shauna was kind of doing right now.
“A lot of good that is doing to Y/N!” Mari argued back.
“Enough, we’re all on edge, just calm the fuck down!” Tai yelled, silencing the cabin for a moment. “We’re going to gather wood and burn Britt’s body tonight,” she decided, firmly enough that no one argued against her.
Tai sighed in relief as the tension slowly faded away and then she looked at you. “I don’t want Y/N to keep suffering either, but it’s not up to us to stop her from fighting,” she said definitively. “And I don’t want to hear the arguments! We don’t kill each other!” yet even as she said that it sounded half-empty, all things considered.
Nat choked up and turned away from you, guilt probably eating her alive for nearly going through with it. Without a word she went outside, either to cry her heart out or gather wood, or just both. Travis ran after her, refusing to let her go all alone.
She looked at Jackie, seeing the conflicted look in Jackie’s eyes, seeing the gratitude mixing with resentment. Shauna looked away, holding her forearm as she tried to quiet a part of her that wanted to see approval in Jackie’s eyes, at least now. “I really didn’t want this to happen to her,” she whispered and went back to her seat, scared to look into Jackie’s eyes again.
~X~ NATALIE ~X~
The shadows danced on the ceiling of the cabin as Natalie lay there, listening to the fire. She felt numb, the kind of numb that filled her with dread and self-hatred. Was she actually about to do it?
No matter how horrible everything was, no matter how much she despaired, no matter how much she just wanted this all to end, no matter how hard the past week broke her… was she really about to kill you? She didn’t dare to look at you or Jackie, after everything she said to Jackie is her rage and grief, she really went and grabbed a pillow.
She really was an awful person.
Her eyes closed, the weight of Travis’ arm around her only serving as a reminder that she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to be comforted or loved
Maybe she wouldn’t open her eyes again. That thought felt a lot more comforting than she had any right to feel.
Sleep took her at some point, once the cacophony of guilt and hatred finally grew a bit more quiet. Yet it wasn’t the end of it, far from it. She stepped away from one line, stopped by Shauna Shipman of all people.
But this cursed place had other plans for her. For all of them.
The scent woke her up, making her mouth water as she somewhere, deep in her mind, realized it was scent of meat. Natalie sat up slowly, almost on autopilot, her brain barely conscious as she lightly shook Travis, motioning for him to get up.
Like one the girls around her also stirred, waking up and smelling the same thing she did. “What is that?” someone muttered sleepily, yet no one answered, too out of it to even try to answer.
She wasn’t even sure who got up first. It hardly mattered. Someone did, opening the doors and letting the scent in, and that was the beginning and the end of it. They all stumbled outside finding the moonlight brighter than usual, like the woods themselves wanted them all to see what was in front of them.
Britt’s body, not burnt to ashes. Far from it.
They looked at one another, no one saying a word, and somewhere deep in her subconsciousness she recognized desperation and hunger they couldn’t control anymore. It’s been so long since they ate anything.
“It wants us to,” Lottie whispered, naming the pull they all clearly felt.
After that it didn’t matter who took the first bite.
~X~ NATALIE ~X~ January 7th, 1997 ~X~
And just when she thought she hit the rock bottom.
Natalie sat on the stairs, rocking back and forth all alone as she stared at the bones lying on what was meant to be funeral pyre. Bones. With barely anything left on them.
She refused to close her eyes, refused to look away. Looking away would be running away from what she, what they all did. Or most of them, actually. She was fairly sure Ben and Jackie didn’t join them.
The doors opened behind her but she didn’t turn around to see who it was. She couldn’t look away. Not yet. Not until she burnt the image of what she did in her mind and carried it until the end of her life.
Whoever came out suddenly stopped. “What the fuck?” Taissa whispered, like she was seeing the bare bones for the first time, like she didn’t take part in it. “Natalie, what the fuck is that?” she asked desperately, pointing at Britt’s body and slowly walking down the stairs before the panic took over and she began running toward Britt.
Natalie’s eyes widened and she jumped to her feet, running after Taissa.
“What the fuck? What happened?!” Taissa demanded as Natalie managed to catch up and physically stop her from reaching Britt.
“Hey, don’t, don’t, don’t,” she pleaded, realizing Taissa must have blocked what happened out. She couldn’t blame her, in fact, a part of Natalie envied her, wishing she could forget last night, wishing she never knew what the taste was like.
“Is that Britt? Nat, what happened?!” Taissa looked at her, her eyes wide and wild, panic taking over as Van got out, probably because she heard the commotion.
Van rushed to her side, taking over and Natalie gladly stepped away, not having it in her to be the one who’d break the news to Taissa. “Tai! Tai, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay,” it wasn’t okay, it was never going to be okay, but it was done.
Taissa pointed a shaky finger at Britt, her lower lip trembling helplessly. “Something, something, something ate her,” she kept denying what happened, though she must have felt it deep down. The lack of that overwhelming hunger that felt like it was eating them alive from the inside, the energy that came after actually eating something. Taissa must have felt all of that too from the moment she woke up this morning without that weakness they all came to expect.
Van made Taissa look at her, completely serious and knowing there was no way to soften the truth. “Taissa! We ate her,” she said and Natalie watched as Taissa’s entire body slumped, her eyes flashing with desperate denial.
“No, I- I di- I didn't, I wouldn't,” Taissa tried to deny it.
That was a familiar thought. Natalie had it this morning too. Before she saw what was left of Britt, before she was forced to face what they did. How desperately she tried to explain it away, to lie to herself and convince herself that she was so hungry she no longer felt it.
And then the truth slapped her in the face the moment she walked outside. The same way it did to Taiisa.
Van looked at Taissa, confused and probably doing her best to hold it together as well, and needing Taissa to be on the same page. “What are you talking about? You were sitting right next to me,” Van reminded the girl and Taissa immediately rushed to the side, bending over and grabbing onto the pipe they used to hold the kettles and pots over the outdoors fire.
Natalie could no longer hear them, but they kept whispering, and then she heard retching and throwing up, followed by Taissa wailing and screaming at the skies, realizing Van was telling the truth, realizing there was truly no going back ever again.
~X~ NATALIE ~X~
The cabin felt suffocating, even more than usual, like everyone was trying not to think about what they did. She saw Travis sitting with Javi, rubbing his back and getting him to drink water, he couldn’t hold that down either and he ran out, retching in the snow.
Natalie sat down next to Travis, seeing the hollow look in his eyes. “Did he?” she didn’t have to finish the sentence, there was only one question this morning.
Travis nodded. “I should have gone out, should have been out there until I found something,” he whispered, sounding broken, blaming himself for Javi having to do that to survive.
“You did everything you could,” she tried, not even feeling like she was lying to him. No one could leave the cabin during that blizzard, and by the time it ended they were out of strength.
“It wasn’t enough,” with that she couldn’t argue. The best they could offer just wasn’t enough.
Natalie sighed, feeling the urge to throw up, yet forcing her body not to. They still didn’t have any food, she’d need to go out and try to hunt, to bring anything back, even if she felt like it would all be for nothing.
Minutes went by, or maybe hours, she didn’t know. Nothing felt real anymore. It was just quiet nothingness and the overwhelming guilt pushing them all down until every step felt impossible. As long as the reminder of what they did remained this would keep breaking what little was left of their sanity into even smaller pieces.
“We should move her,” she finally spoke up loud enough for everyone to hear her.
“Where? We still can't bury her,” Travis pointed out.
Natalie swallowed the bile rising in her throat. She couldn’t push that task onto anyone, and she’d take the rifle. With some luck she might be able to bring something back. “I'll take her body, or her remains, or whatever to the plane, and she can be buried with the others when the ground thaws,” she decided, glancing at Robin who hadn’t spoken all morning. The girl was completely unresponsive, wrestling quietly with what she did to her best friend.
If the revolver was still around Natalie would have worried she’d follow in Britt’s footsteps.
“Well, at least if you bury her out there it'll look like she died with the rest of them,” Ben sneered, judging them for what they did. She could see the disgust and fear in his eyes and when she looked at Jackie, she saw nothing but fear in the girl’s eyes.
Jackie didn’t make a sound, didn’t draw any attention to herself, she just clung to you.
Unable to bear the sight of you in a coma, the heaviness of the guilt, Ben’s judgment or Jackie’s fear, Natalie grabbed a bag and a rifle and got dressed as warmly as she could so she could head out.
The snow crunched under her feet, and she felt cold nipping at her skin as she dropped to her knees next to Britt’s bones. She opened the bag and swallowed the lump in her throat, her hand trembling as she reached to grab the bones, yet she pulled her hand back at the last moment, clutching it to her chest, relieved that it was empty.
“I have to do this,” she whispered to herself. The feel, the scent, none of it bothered her last night, did it? So, this was the least she could do. She still glanced back at the cabin and for a moment she could see it clearly, you coming out and crouching by her side, not helping her do it, just being there to place your hand on her shoulder and offer the comfort she so desperately needed.
You couldn’t do it though.
You’d never be able to do it again and any day now she’d have to do this again with your body. Your entire body, because she’d rather die than let this happen to you.
“I have to do this,” she repeated and blindly reached for the first bone she touched, and carefully, to avoid potentially breaking it, she put it in the bag. And then another one, and another one, until she was almost done.
From the corner of her eyes she noticed Lottie coming out with a mug in her hand, probably the stupid blood thing. “You're doing the right thing; I know it's not easy,” Lottie offered like she had any right to try and comfort her, like Natalie wanted comfort from Lottie.
“Whatever,” Natalie muttered, hoping Lottie would take a hint and leave.
She didn’t. In fact, she offered the mug to Natalie. “Here,” she said patiently, to which Natalie merely scoffed and looked away, quietly rejecting her. “I just want you to be safe,” Lottie said.
“Mhm, sure you do. Like you wanted Y/N to be safe,” Natalie spat out angrily, hating how difficult it was getting to reject Lottie, how she nearly convinced her to end your suffering, how she kept trying even though it only did more harm.
“Y/N was different. It’s not my choice who It wants,” Lottie lamented, sounding almost somber as she said that.
For a moment Natalie may have even believed her.
The doors opened again and Travis joined them, which finally made Lottie take a few steps back, leaving Natalie alone for now. “Hey, you want me to come?” Travis offered.
Natalie shook her head, hoisting the now closed bag and the rifle over her shoulder. “I'm fine on my own,” she said, determined to see this through on her own. Travis was needed here, for Javi, and maybe, just maybe you if someone thought of mercy killing you. “Watch over Y/N for me,” she pleaded and looked at him, seeing him nod even though he thought it was hopeless.
~X~ NATALIE ~X~
The walk through the snow all the way back to the plane damn near took what little strength she got back last night and every step now felt like a struggle not to slip and to keep walking in the shoes that weren’t meant for snow in any way.
But, eventually, she did reach the plane and stepped inside the wreckage, cold and miserable. She lowered the bag between seats, hoping nothing would come tear it apart and then she just sat down, lowering the rifle next to her.
She barely knew Britt, even here she didn’t really talk to her much, yet she still felt obligated to say goodbye, to at the very least apologize
“I never thought you’d be the lucky one,” she said softly, looking at the bag like the remains could hear her. “Not that I ever thought about you much, but still, you got out. I think shit is gonna get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead, so, I guess you finally made someone jealous of you,” she let out an empty chuckle and leaned her head back against the side of the seat.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said. “For what we did. I don’t think it’ll take us all long to join you, Y/N might actually be dead by the time I come back to the cabin. After her… who knows. Maybe Jackie, maybe Robin, maybe me, the order hardly matters. I don’t think we’re surviving the winter, but still,” she paused again, looking at the bag one last time before she got up with the rifle in hand. “I’m so sorry, Britt, I’m sorry for what we did, I’m sorry for not noticing how you felt in time, I’m so fucking sorry,” she whispered, wiping a single tear away before she stepped back into the snow.
~X~ JACKIE ~X~
She had to stay quiet.
‘Don’t make a sound, don’t cry, don’t do anything,’ she kept repeating in her head, her hands trembling as she clung to your motionless body. The flashes of last night made her shake her head as subtly as she could, trying to shake those images off.
They just… They… Jackie wanted to throw up. She felt sick. They ate her like a pack of starving wild animals.
She could still hear the sounds, flesh being torn from bones, those desperate, hungry sounds they all made as they ate Britt.
Jackie trembled, glancing toward coach Scott. He was trying to make himself as small as possible, taking the darkest corner of the cabin, trying not to draw any attention to himself.
She saw him last night, horrified, too terrified to do anything but close the doors when he realized what was going on. Even if he wasn’t frightened, he was too broken to do anything, too weak, too traumatized.
So, Jackie clung to you. “Wake up, wake up, wake up,” she whispered into your ear, as quietly as she could, constantly, insistently. You had to wake up, or they’d do it again, to you this time, down to the bone, until there was nothing left of you. “Wake up,” she repeated, persistently trying to reach you.
Yet, you didn’t move, you didn’t respond, you just kept barely breathing.
A chill ran down Jackie’s spine and she looked up, seeing Natalie looking at you with a heartbroken look on her face. Like she knew what would happen the moment you drew your last breath.
Jackie could see it. Natalie arguing, refusing to let the same thing that happened to Britt happen to you. The rest would agree, but would it really matter? You’d either be thrown into the lake for some sick prophecy Lottie made, or your body would be burnt, only the same thing that happened to Britt would inevitably happen.
They’d light the fire, then smell the meat in the middle of the night.
Bile rose in her throat and Jackie forced herself to swallow it, to ignore the burning, bitter taste in her throat, to ignore how sick she felt, just so no one else would look your way. Otherwise, they might just start talking about killing you again out of some twisted sense of mercy.
If Shauna hadn’t interfered you would have been killed and… She actually threw up in her mouth, barely keeping her mouth closed as she realized you would have been eaten with Britt if Shauna didn’t stop Natalie.
Jackie’s heart hammered in her chest and she felt lightheaded, the entire cabin spinning around her as she once again felt the same dread she felt yesterday when they were all talking about killing you.
‘What am I supposed to do when they try again?’ she’d fight back, they’d have to kill her as well, that wasn’t the question on her mind. But could she actually do anything?
She knew the answer, and all she could do right now was to cling to you. There was no point in trying to come up with any plan, best case scenario, they’d show her mercy as well and let her die by your side.
If this was how you’d both die then maybe it would have been better if you died in the snow months ago.
She wasn’t sure how much time passed since she thought that, she just kept her forehead pressed against the top of your head, clinging to you. The only time she stopped doing that was when she cleaned your mouth as best as she could.
Everything faded to the background, the sound of people talking, she wasn’t even sure what they were saying at this point as the cabin slowly came back to life. They pushed past the guilt so damn quickly, excusing what they did for the sake of survival, blaming the hunger.
Your head tilted a bit to the side, just barely, but she didn’t notice.
The worst thing was, she probably would have gotten up too, in that initial confusion, if she wasn’t so weak and if she wasn’t holding you up so you could breathe even a bit easier.
Your brows furrowed slightly.
She was no different, she just didn’t have the opportunity to do it. She woke up too quickly and reason won over hunger, terror won over hunger, just like it did with coach Scott, if Jackie had to guess.
A painfully hoarse, dry sound made her eyes widen in shock and Jackie moved, dragging herself to your side like she’s been doing every time she cleaned your mouth and moistened your lips.
“Oh, god,” she blurted out seeing the furrowing of your brows, the fluttering of your eyelashes. “Natalie! I need water!” she cried out before her brain could even catch up to what was going on. Her heart hammered against her chest, threatening to explode as she touched your cheek, her fingers trembling as tears blurred her vision. “Y/N?” she whispered your name and you coughed, frowning before you just barely opened your eyes.
“Holy shit, she’s waking up,” she wasn’t even sure who said it as Natalie ran, spiling half the mug on the floor as she stumbled and knelt by Jackie’s side.
You blinked, cold sweat washing over you as you parted your lips moving them like you were trying to speak.
“Don’t speak,” Jackie said, taking the mug with shaky hands and bringing it to your lips. “Slowly,” she said, pouring a bit of water into your mouth. For a moment nothing happened and she feared she rushed you, that she gave you water too soon and that you’d choke, but then she saw you swallowing, frowning like it hurt, but still, swallowing.
“Y/N? Can you hear us?” Natalie whispered, reaching toward you but stopping her hand before she could touch you, fearing you were still too fragile, that even one wrong touch would be too much.
You blinked and moved your thumb, like you were giving her a thumbs up and despite everything Jackie let out a helpless, desperate laugh. “Here, drink some more,” she urged you, bringing the mug to your lips again. This was it, right? You woke up. You’d survive, right? For the first time in what felt like forever Jackie cried, tears of relief streaming uncontrollably down her face.
Beside her, Natalie tried to wipe away her own tears, but it was useless, she couldn’t stop crying either.
Half a mug of water later you looked at her, your eyes still unfocused and you still didn’t move much, but you were conscious, you were awake, you were alive and back by her side and it felt like nothing else mattered, like everything could and would be better now. Jackie leaned against you, as gently as she could, letting the tears soak your collar as she took your right hand, her fingers brushing over the inside of your wrist so she could feel your pulse.
She pulled back, afraid of hurting you and then your lips curled upward just a bit. “Hi,” you muttered weakly, finding enough strength to brush your thumb over her hand.
Jackie looked down, blinking the tears away as she watched your thumb moving. Your eyes met, only for a few seconds before you closed your eyes, still exhausted and fragile, but you were back. You came back to her.
series summary ⊱ A dragon in Royce colors. Having been isolated and shaped into a weapon by your own kin your whole life, you mark your own path through the treacherous world of Westeros and beyond until it leads you to Jacaerys Targaryen. In each other you find solace and beneath the surface, something much deeper than either of you dares yet name, begins to bloom.
pairing ⊱ Jacaerys Velaryon × Targaryen/Royce reader, Aemond Targaryen
contents ⊱ spoilers! canon/au, heavy lore, book, show and headcanon based. 18+ content ahead (eventual smut // mdni). Jace is aged up (Harry's age), characters are aged up, heavy canon divergent, fix it fic, hurt/comfort with a happy ending, targcest (cousins), obsessive/possessive behaviors, heavy pining/yearning, neglect, sexual tension, nudity, typical period sexism & gore, dystopian, societal rejection, angst/fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, melodrama romance, overall it's the world of asoiaf so all triggers in the books(s) + show(s) apply to this story, you've been warned.
note ⊱ reader descriptions are not described besides her Valyrian features (silver hair, lilac eyes) despite her mother being (book) Rhea. mentions reader having hair they fix (no type) e.g., braids
─── series masterlist ⋆ ao3 ⋆ original character version ⋆ next chapter
To the south of the desolate Red Waste lands of Essos, a bloodrider by the name of Rakharo, pushed his stallion across barren windswept plains in hopes to find what his blood of his blood sought. Upon hours of riding however, none of it brought him fortune. The sandy dunes and dry-as-bone riverbeds stretched endless, until at last he met the shores of the poisonous waters.
He had taken three different paths and on the third he stopped, an expression of awe settling over him. Only a mile before him lay the largest skeleton he had ever seen. A dragon so vast that when he rode up to it, his stallion could fit right through its black jaws with much room to spare.
He contemplated taking one of its teeth, which was as long as a sword. Then decided it would bring him no dishonor if it were given to his Khaleesi, the mother of the dragons.
When he returned, he reported on all the things he had come across, including this immense beast. The tale had sparked wonders in the young Princess Daenerys’ heart as she held the tooth of the dragon, wondering what its story was.
Daenerys and her khalasar continued on with their own path. And as she held the tooth, looked to her own dragon upon her shoulder, then toward shierak qiya in the heavens above. The young Khaleesi smiled through the furs of her lion's mane and at the sign of hope these things brought her.
────𝐎𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝟏𝟏𝟓 𝐀𝐂
On the brightest morning the Vale of Arryn had seen in a fortnight, when the sun finally shattered the grey veil of storms and bathed the mountains in golden bronze, a newborn cry rang out across Runestone.
Lady Rhea Royce drifted in and out of consciousness in the birthing chamber, her body and spirit spent after intense hours of hard labor. When the maester finally placed the babe in her arms at last, her world narrowed to a single, most breathtaking sight as any mother felt looking at their newborn.
Silver-gold hair, fine as spun moonlight, crowned the infant’s head. And beneath delicate lids shone eyes that were unmistakably Valyrian, the warm color of lilac at dusk.
For a still moment, Rhea felt the old disgust rise like bile in the back of her throat, the features of her husband’s smug face flashing before her. You were certainly Daemon’s child there was no doubt in that, he couldn’t deny you at all, you looked like him. A Targaryen . . . Though strictly born of duty, resentment, and none other than the King’s relentless command, so Rhea was reminded.
But then you stirred, tiny fingers curling against your mother’s breast, and something awoke in Rhea when she heard you coo at her. This was also her daughter. Hers. She pressed her lips to your warm, downy head and whispered a promise only you, the gods and the stone walls would hear.
“Will she be given a name this morrow, m’lady?” the old maester asked, quill poised above his scroll.
Rhea’s jaw tightened as she was reminded of Daemon once again. The man who had demanded the child be named in Valyrian if it survived. One last cruelty from a man who had refused to be present for their daughter's birth. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction; however, the girl didn’t deserve a common name away from her Valyrian heritage.
She declared your name then, voice ringing with the strong authority of the Lady of Runestone. “As only Daemon insisted. After her Valyrian heritage.”
Her tone softened into a tender murmur as she gazed down at the blinking infant. “But to me . . . you shall be my little dove.”
You stared up at her with soft, curious lilac eyes, mouth agape, before drifting into a peaceful sleep. You were still streaked with the dry fluid of your violent entry into the world until moments later, you were gently passed to your wet nurse.
Rhea had known the Vale’s people despised Daemon Targaryen if not any more than her. However, she had never imagined that hatred would fall upon an innocent child of her own likeness. Their own kin.
“She is as much mine as she is his,” Rhea said fiercely one crisp afternoon, cradling a two-week-old you close to her chest. “There is no undoing that. She may bear Valyrian features, but she is a Royce through and through. They will see it in time.”
Ser Gerold Royce stood rigid on the other side of Lord Yorbert in the great hall, just the three of them, his face clouded. “Let us pray the gods have flipped the coin to its better side with her,” he muttered, glaring at the silver wisps of hair escaping the babe’s hood, “unlike her father and his cursed blood.”
Lord Yorbert offered a warm smile, resting a hand on Rhea’s shoulder. “We will raise her strong as a true Lady of Runestone. House Royce will be ruled by women of black iron and bronze, and this little Lady shall one day make a fine ruler beneath her mother’s guidance.”
Rhea held her little dove tighter, inhaling the sweet scent of you, letting the words settle over you both in warmth.
On the second month since you were born, Rhea had needed a change of fresh air now being healed enough from giving birth. She slipped from Runestone alone on horseback, craving the mountain air and the thrill of the hunt for deer; refusing the assistance of Ser Gerold or any other.
The misty green valley welcomed her as it always did with no suspicions of danger in sight. However, that would soon change, until mid-afternoon. She never expected her trusted, seasoned horse to become spooked by an unseen source; it wasn’t in his nature. Though she had managed to control him eventually, they continued on with the hunt.
But not very long after she began hawking, her horse had done it a second time, rather more terrified than the last. Rhea’s nerves prickled as she looked around to find nothing but the empty woods around her until she turned back into the clearing of the valley.
Runestone hadn’t been too far off. Rhea had, had enough signs of bad omens to know when to leave. The rabbits and plump ring-necked pheasants that hung from her saddle would do for now. But her horse had bellowed one last time, rearing with aggression at the sight of a strange creature with horns, that made them both flip backwards.
The tragic news of Lady Rhea Royce’s death left a bittersweet taste in the Vale. Though she had held on for nine days after being found in the valley and cracking her skull upon stone, she collapsed only an hour later of leaving her bed. Without having the chance to explain what happened.
“I—I want to see my little dove. . .”
It was the most tragic of deaths that left the people of Runestone to deeply mourn over. And even more regretfully so, as she had left her only child in the hands of those who despised the girl.
Though it was rumored and true, Rhea and her husband, Prince Daemon Targaryen, had an unhealthy, estranged marriage, bound only by duty and resentment.
And with the insistent commands in which the King, Viserys I, demanded a forced heir be produced. You were born in the fourth, first quarter moon of 115 AC. Conceived out of pure white hatred, and on a very drunken night that neither parent could hardly remember.
Would the gods of old and new have mercy on the realm from such a union? Would the coin of fate for this Targaryen be merciful or one of violent ends? One could only ask, or rather pray. For it was seen that your mother was good and fierce, but your father was terrible and hot tempered.
You were born on a first quarter moon after all. What did it resemble in the two-sided coin of good and evil? That alone was cause of fear and whispers on what your future could bring . . . on what madness of yours would come out of this. A dragon in Royce colors. A dragon . . . In sheep's clothing.
────𝟒𝟎 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠
“Your grace,” Lord Lyonel Strong, Hand of the King, addressed Viserys with a regretful expression. “Ravens bring news from the Vale and Storms End.”
The weight of the paper in Viserys fingers made his heart heavier than one realized. Despite Daemon and his current grievances toward one another, he felt sorrow for his younger brother having known what it feels like to have a wife, a mother . . . leave a daughter behind.
“Send a message to Daemon, he must know about this,” Viserys crumbled the parchment to the counsel table with pain.
“He’s been made aware already your Grace. They had already sent a raven to Storm’s End of the news and Lord Baratheon graciously dispatched a messenger on ship, set out to reach Daemon by now. As said in the missives,” Lyonel reminded.
Having accidentally skipped over that part for his eyes only found the word ‘death.’ Viserys nodded. “Right, right. Good, he ought to know swiftly then," replied the king.
What he and the rest of the counsel forgot however, was one crucial tradition. The gift of a dragon egg upon celebration of your birth. Or rather, Viserys’ was too blind in sorrow of his own memories with Aemmas’ passing to remember in that moment.
But the kings thoughts spared him for but a moment as they wandered to the many other missives sent from the Sea Snake and his brother, Vaemond, in the Stepstones in a plea for help. The war that had began by malcontents Viserys called it. His own brother and Corlys.
“No. Better yet, I shall indeed write Daemon myself.”
And so after the counsel ended, Viserys stayed behind to handwrite his own letter to his brother. Hoping to give them relief by sending aid to the stepstones.
“Make haste to Dwarfstone, Ser Addam. Hand-deliver this to Prince Daemon yourself,” Viserys commands a loyal Targaryen knight.
The young man bows his head, taking the scroll, “At once your grace.”
“What news? Father. What is this about Dwarfstone I hear?” Rhaenyra comes in smiling happily with a giggling 1 year old Jacaerys in her arms.
For the first time that afternoon, it seemed Viserys finally knew how to smile. Caused by the grinning boy in his beloved daughters arms. He held his grandson proudly, until the grim devastation flooded his aged face again.
“I’m sending word to Daemon. Aid is sailing to the Stepstones,” Viserys sighed.
Rhaenyra perked up then, “Aid, to the Stepstones you say. And what, prey tell, finally made you decide to do this? He and the sea snake have been fighting this battle for years now. Did he make call for help?”
“He would sooner die,” Viserys said bitterly, but smiled knowingly of his brother. “But his king does not mean to allow that.” Again, the King frowned, and Rhaenyra noticed as she stared at her son in her fathers arms.
“What has happened?” Rhaenyra steps forward, cautious on what comes next as she takes Jace’s little fingers in her own.
“Daemon, is a father now,” Viserys began. “He would sooner change due to this. However, bad tidings from Lady Jeyne. Daemon’s lady wife, Rhea Royce has passed, leaving a newborn girl behind.” Viserys informed gravely.
Rhaenyra’s eyes shot up immediately, and just like her father, she thought of Aemma and herself. The misfortune of losing a mother so young, and this one even younger. Then her eyes went to Jace, and she placed a hand on top her swollen, pregnant belly, and her own heart tightened.
The king and his daughter walked together out of the counsel room, through the halls and into the great throne room. And as he sat atop his throne he held a giggling Jacaerys and placed him on his knee.
“One day my boy,” Viserys gently pinched his grandson’s cheek. “This seat will be yours. And you shall make a great king.”
It was the first smile Rhaenyra cracked after a long silence besides her joyful sons laughter lighting the castle. The young princess could only imagine what pain you would have to go through now that your mother wasn’t present in your life.
There was a long quiescent moment before Rhaenyra’s back strengthen again with a deep sigh, “We ought to send the babe an egg soon as a new clutch is had. With other fine silks in condolences. It is her birth right by royal decree after all.”
“A fine idea my sweet,” Viserys smiles with a nod.
────𝟔𝟒 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐕𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞
Viserys would never come to know, but he was right in sending his own missive to his brother. For the hope of the original messenger sent to Daemon from Storm’s End hadn’t reached him at all. In fact the poor boy had got caught up in the middle of the war in the Stepstones and mistakenly fed to crabs.
That isn’t to say the young knight the king sent didn’t meet his own punishment either. He left with a broken collarbone, two swollen eyes, and a broken nose the moment after . . . Once Daemon had looked at the scroll of parchment with an unsurprised, blank state that was eerily calm.
Brother,
I have ordered 10 ships and 2,000 men to set sail from King’s Landing to join the effort in the Stepstones. Though time and circumstance have seen us estranged, know that it is not my desire to see you fail in your cause.
And now more than ever. As I am sure by now the messenger from Storm’s End has greeted you with the tragic news of Lady Rhea’s passing. Know that you and your daughter have my deepest sorrows.
It is instead my hope that this aid will deliver the victory that has thus far evaded us. You are a father now, brother. I shall pray nightly to the gods for your safe return.
Daemon bit the inside of lip until it bled as anger bubbled in him. No messenger was ever sent to him about the birth of his own child, and he cursed Rhea for that. Then he giggled. Because at long last, he was free from his Bronze bitch. The marriage he never asked for.
He still struggled to defend this pathetic meagre kingdom against the Triarchy and its Dornish allies. That much was true, but the thought of fighting all this time against them and only now receiving aid from the crown. Something inside Daemon switched on again, and his hot tempered impulses drove his blood hot.
Daemons eyes were turned toward the island where he knew the Myrish prince admiral, Craghas Crabfeeder, hid in his caves like a craven bitch. All while the Three Daughter’s continued their tolls unless destroyed by Corlys fleet, if only the gods were good.
The same ones that he and Corlys tried telling the crown where they took everything they wanted, which included women and children. Causing even the loyal House Velaryon to suffer greatly. All for his brother to finally listen, because his Bronze Bitch finally croaked.
“Dark Sister thirst for blood,” he says aloud to no one in particular.
So, the prince took a dory by himself after setting the plan with his partner, the Sea Snake. And if the enemy was spectacle, they believed the silver-tongue prince, even the Crabfeeder.
Until at long last, in the years that finally ended this long battle, he and Craghas came face to face. And the Myrish prince stood no chance against the dragon that was Daemon, with a single-hand he slew the craven clean. And Corlys crowned him as Daemon declared himself King of the Stepstones and the Narrow Sea.
After a few days of rest and victory celebrations, Daemon, begrudgingly, mounted Caraxes and took to the Vale at once in false enthusiasm. Seeking to claim inheritance rather than put his wife to rest that is.
Then he had smiled to himself, having completely forgotten he had a child; only because it was hers. Even more surprised a child could grow in such hostile environs.
“Watch the babe be a Royce bastard. With locks as dark as her hound bitch,” he chuckled to no one but the open sky and Caraxes before him.
But the laughter was soon shut when he later found himself hovering over your cradle. Lilac eyes met darker amethyst. Staring back at one another equally confused.
You were in fact, not a bastard at all. If anything you had more silver hair than he did. And though you looked like your mother, you really resembled him in his Valyrian ways. You were his. It struck a nerve in Daemon. He was pleased that you took after him, just not by the fact it was with Lady Royce and that angered him.
Instead of pride, fury twisted in his chest, “Couldn’t even give me a son.” He muttered.
Though, in truth, deep down. He hadn’t cared about that at all, whether you were born a boy or not. His anger was more toward Rhea. And he couldn’t help but see Rhea every single time he glanced at you. And it made the bile run up his throat.
“Least the Bronze bitch actually listened hm? Gave you a proper Valyrian name.”
Alas, he came to know the babe was named Lady of House Royce despite being at the breast of wet nurses. And Lord Yorbert quickly named her heir to the ancient castle of Runestone after the death of her mother.
This pleased Daemon, only because he knew he’d be inheriting Runestone through his daughter, and with it several thousand men that rivaled even the North with it.
And though, long before you were born, he refused to place a dragon egg in your cradle. Tradition be damned. “The Vale doesn’t need dragons,” he had once sneered to Rhea. “It has sheep and horses enough.”
Thus, his firstborn was currently a dragonless Targaryen due to his unfortunate decision of the past. At which was the time he had laughed at. He hadn’t given you an egg because he was counting on you to look like a Royce and accuse of being a bastard.
“But you cannot deny her now, can you?” He could just hear Rhea tell him if she were here and rolled his eyes skyward to the heavens.
After Lord Yorbert and him had spoken, quite unpleasantly, he told them to expect you to receive a dragon egg nonetheless, from Kings Landing. Just because he hated Rhea, didn’t mean you weren’t still his . . . That and it only helped his cause for the future.
“Expect it later from the crown. Far as I’m concern there are no new eggs, so, she most likely won’t get one soon. Don’t get greedy.” Daemon all but warned.
Lady Jeyne happened to be there during Daemon’s visit as well. Seeing right through Daemon’s tactics with a downward curve of disapproval from the Lord of the Eyrie herself.
“Your daughter may rule the ancient castle of Runestone someday in her mother's honor, gods willing, my prince. But until that day, and even then, you are unwelcome in the Vale.” She stared him down, challenging.
He only smiled, blinked down, and nodded before finally taking his leave but was stopped at the archway by Lord Yorberts distressed bewilderment.
“Will you not take her with you?” Yorbert furrowed his brows utterly confused. “Is that not also why you came?”
Daemon frowned then. He stood there for what felt like eternity, contemplating the wheels of what he should do. Then he frowned.
“The Vale can have her.”
In which left a bittersweet taste in many of the people’s mouth, including Ser Gerold Royce after his suspicions of your father Daemon only grew wider.
────𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤
The now freshly widowed husband, Prince Daemon Targaryen, had landed on Driftmark last after his long travels from the Vale to the Stepstones. He’d only meant to call upon Corlys and Princess Rhaenys thanks to his warm welcomes given by the Sea Snake himself. So, when he was first welcomed out in the courtyard by Lady Laena, he couldn’t help but smile.
He’d remembered their dance at her brother Laenor and Rhaenyra’s wedding (turned disaster to remember). How she looked at him then and how he too couldn’t help but think she was more beautiful than any right given.
“Welcome to Driftmark, my prince,” She smiled that sweet smile.
But they both knew what she really meant behind it. As her eyes spoke more words than what was needed. The lord and lady of High Tide greeted him next and before he knew it, he was caught in the maelstrom of their web.
Corlys already knew it before Daemon asked for Laena’s hand. Rhaenys on the other hand didn’t feel happy about it. But seeing how Laena wanted this union despite already being betrothed, which Daemon made quick work of. . .
The pair did wed in only a fortnight, and without the king’s blessings. And Daemon utterly forgot about your existence entirely.
During the rest of 115 AC. It seemed everyone forgot you existed. And then completely forgotten in the eleventh moon, when Princess Rhaenyra gave birth to a healthy second son, Lucerys Velaryon.
No one, not even Daemon, had written to ask of you, not even to your keepers or anything, much to the relief of the ones attempting at grooming you. And then, they never sent you an egg either, at least not until the year after 117 AC, once Joffrey had long been born.
With the good news of Joffreys hatchling, Rhaenyra now had 3 dragons to each of her sons, squashing the lies and whispers of those who doubted.
And as she watched Jacaerys hug Vermax and held Luke to her side, while her father held Joffrey, her heart leaped in remembrance of the dragonkeepers sending you and egg of your own at last. One from the very same clutch as Joffreys.
Where all the other princes which included all three of Rhaenyra’s sons and the Queen’s own children always got first choice. You were purposely sent the smallest egg of the sickliest pale grey one could imagine.
Nonetheless, after years of waiting, they had finally put the egg near your hearth, only for it to never hatch. In their own anger, behind Lord Yorberts back, they accused you of being worthless.
“We shall groom her into fulfilling our own desires for Runestone without their (Daemon and the bedridden Lord Yorbert) counsel.” Whispered a man behind Yorberts own back.
“She is to be a Royce then, under watchful eyes, raise her up to be diligent and true of her duties here in the Vale, none other.”
“She will be a Royce!” they declared, “not some Targaryen whelp!”
You had grown in the cold embrace of Runestone without ever seeing your father Daemon most of your childhood. And from the moment you could walk, the men of the Vale began to shape you like their prized possession. Not with tenderness, but with relentless purpose and greed.
At five years old, wooden swords were forcefully placed in your hand instead of needle and thread. And every day you were knocked again and again into the freezing mud, small body bruised and trembling, until sundown forced them to stop.
You were taught horseback soon after, naturally being gifted to learn swiftly, like your mother, who had learned at an even younger age herself. But it was the archery you had learning difficulties, not to say you were best at sword training either.
Your archery faltered as you struggled with your smaller arms and your sword work was clumsy no matter how hard you tried. Still, they pushed.
“She’s only the age of five; she will grow to know it soon enough. Keep training her harder. We must break her.”
“Aye,” one man spat. “I killed a man at that age! I knew sword play with ease. She’s too soft!”
“A girl who would rule these lands cannot afford softness.”
Some of your maidens expressed their own deep concerns, that the young Lady Targaryen was being too worked and that every bath they could always see your fresh bruises from training too hard with the other boys.
“It is necessary that she gains the knowledge of work if she’d ever want to lead House Royce in the Vale under the banner of House Arryn. The head on her shoulders must be strong if she’s to survive these lands.”
“Is it not common for a female ruler in House Arryn to lead without the intensive training our own Lady undergoes? She is but a child, barely on her feet still—”
“House Royce is not Arryn, where they all gallop around in pretty skirts and flash those pretty smiles, guarded by knights all the while we lower houses protect the silks on their backs.”
“Her mother the late Lady Rhea was a unique character, her kind never to be seen again, not even her own daughter would hold a candle to her talents.” As Ser Gerold himself said.
At some point or another, a few bolder men of your own kin, suggested shearing your beautiful moon-silver hair to hide your father’s mark. Only the Maester’s stern intervention spared you. And they went with dyeing it black instead.
“You blame a mere innocent child for the mistakes of her parents. Do you not think the seven look down on those who show such evil to the innocent?”
However much this hurt you, you held back your tongue, the tears and accepted it, and had your maidens dye your hair in hopes for the approval of those of the Vale.
You never cried before any of them after time passed. You endured in silence. You swallowed every slight and every muttered suspicion that you carried the Rogue Prince’s madness. That, in which, you had no idea what they meant by or who your father even was.
You only always did what was told, knowing nothing else other than to do it and without complaint. Otherwise received a clout to the ear.
Only in the silence of your bedchamber, you wept quietly until your chest ached and the skin beneath your eyes burned red. Then rose at dawn to begin it all again.
By the time you were seven, you were finally able to attend meetings as heir while Lord Yorbert lay bedridden, but they never allowed you to make decisions of your own. Instead, Ser Gerold Royce, Lady Rhea’s cousin, had told you to be quiet and listen. To be watchful, mindful and learn.
And those that put inquiries in the halls of Runestone mistook you as a boy. Men questioned why you were there, mistaking the rough appearance of dirty, forcibly cut short, black dyed hair for a stable boy until your voice cut sharply through the hall in your anger.
“I am no boy. I am the Lady of Runestone, of House Targaryen.”
Ah, you had after all inherited your father’s hot temper. You had received so many unpleasant looks by your peers after that, but the people who acknowledged you as Lady bowed and smiled, feeding you the sweetest lies of compliments (in fear of losing their tongue) as they remembered your father.
And that night, as your blood bubbled and fire ran through your veins, you began to dream strange dreams. Different versions of you looking down from the clouds as if you were the one flying over the Vale. With wings larger than the ancient castle of Runestone itself.
And ever since, you dreamt longingly each day to see your family, your father, and to see a real dragon you had only read or ever heard talked about. Whispers about you began saying that your peers were doing too much, and that if they continued, you might unleash your Targaryen madness on them all one day.
Others whispered that they pitied you, saying it would’ve been better if you had been born a bastard than the seed of The Rogue Prince. For you were either hated there and looked down upon or feared for what you may become. Despised either way.
Though, that would change all in a day in your ninth year when out in a hunting party to learn hawking, Ser Gerold Royce was gored by a giant boar, and though half a dozen arrows pierced the wild animal it did not falter, but it was your lucky shot that struck clean through its eye and out the other.
Since then, Ser Gerold Royce, having healed by a miracle despite the large gaping wound he took to his thigh, had graciously calmed his ill temper to the young Targaryen.
“She does have more of her mother in her, you see.”
Even more surprising, Ser Gerold began to train you in initial weapons practices. Honing your skills for better than the slop the others bruised you with.
He trained you with lessons of focus, on building strength, balance, and discipline. Taught you the common courtesy and heraldry. Including treating you as his squire if anything, that you performed menial chores which included simple task of serving at tables, cleaning, running messages.
“A girl cannot be a squire. . .” one old man told him with distaste.
Ser Gerold turned away, ignoring the protests from all sides that a Lady could not hold such a role.
“We all wanted her to be a Royce, so I’m doing that, but without our old abusive tactics that was getting us nowhere. I was wrong in how I went about it; we all were. She is a Royce through and through, just like her mother. We had just been blinded by hate. Me more so.” Gerold sighed regrettably.
In your tenth nameday, with only Gerold and the maesters sight, you had sent a raven of your own written missive explaining your accomplishments. All in hopes of its deliverance to Driftmark.
You couldn’t explain why, but you felt a hole in your chest, a piece missing. Your dreams of flying never ended and rarely, you would even see a blurred figure of a man with silver-gold hair standing in the far distance from you over a red sea like a mirage.
You imagined it must be your father. So, you made sure to write your growing skills at arms, because he was known to be a great swordsman, you had much to live up to. You wrote to say you were the best at horseback than the others, like your mother before you. That your archery has improved significantly.
You’d visit the ravencote every crowing of the morrow before the maesters could check them first. This went on for six whole moons, during which you sent multiple more missives in the same way. By the seventh, it was Gerold who placed a hand on your shoulder.
“Nothing is coming girl. Stop torturing yourself.”
No reply came, from anyone. And you sulked in silence as you always did. Only to repeat the days past into the next morrow after that.
// want to be tagged in this fic? Or a (characters story) taglist? add yourself here
// next chapter ⋆ series masterlist ⋆ ao3 ⋆ read the original character version for unfiltered context
On the next chapter. . . ⋆ // chapter summary ⊱ House Royce begins to see your growth in many ways, including your dragon side. In which you begin to make demands they can't control . . . Meanwhile, an unexpected raven arrives, but it's from someone you least expected.
Summary: A series of unfortunate events puts you in the position you never wished to be in; stuck on the Air Temple Island, guarding the Avatar. You'd be fine with it, if only it didn't force you to be around Tenzin, who had no idea you were his and Lin's daughter.
Masterlist / Part 8
Word Count: 7.4k
-With the rhythm of night in the city of lights we dance to show we still can glow-
~X~ KORRA ~X~
The sun was slowly setting in the Republic City as Korra got off the ferry, finding an already familiar satomobile waiting down the street with Mako and Asami leaning against it and Bolin, with Pabu on top of his head, looking for her. A grin spread across her face as she ran toward them. She only now noticed Asami’s car kind of stood out, being a newer model and everything, since it looked a lot like the one Tarrlok sent her.
“There she is!” Bolin exclaimed excitedly running to meet her halfway. The moment she was close enough Pabu jumped from Bolin’s head, landing on Korra’s shoulder and slipping to the other one before she could even reach up to steady him.
“Hey, Pabu,” she scratched under his chin as the fire ferret nuzzled against the side of her head. “How long have you been waiting?” she asked, grinning as Bolin patted her on the back and they both walked over to Mako and Asami.
“A few minutes, Mako hates being late,” Asami winked, teasing Mako at the same time. Korra shook her head, knowing well enough how true that was. The firebender scolded her several times for being a few minutes late to the early morning practices. Her and Bolin reached Mako and Asami, and Bolin flung his other arm around Mako’s shoulders and pulled him down, messing his hair up.
“I’m not- hey!” Mako complained, pulling free from Bolin’s hold as Korra and Asami laughed.
“Okay! No pressure! It’s just our first group hangout,” Bolin’s energy was infectious as they all got in Asami’s car. For a moment everything else faded to the background, the tournament, the tension, Amon and his Equalists, it was just the four of them hanging out.
“Are we picking Y/N up as well?” Asami asked, looking back once before focusing on the road.
Korra’s smile softened. “No, she’s got to finish something at the office and then she’ll join us,” you wouldn’t stay the whole time, but considering you abruptly went from being at the Air Temple Island or just with her in general all the time to sometime going a few days without coming by, she would take it.
“When she joins us we got to take you to Narook’s, it’s authentic Water Tribe cuisine!” Bolin remembered, and Korra chuckled, leaning back in her seat.
“Y/N took me there actually, I mean, me and Tenzin’s kids, but I’d love to go again,” it felt like things happened so quickly since then and you still didn’t get the chance to go to the city with Jinora, Ikki and Meelo like you promised you would.
She got so caught up thinking back to that day that she missed Bolin’s smile dropping for a few seconds. “Right, of course she did,” he didn’t let it discourage him though.
A few minutes later Asami parked the satomobile near the square almost at the same time as police motorcycle parked on the other side of the street. Korra recognized you immediately, grinning as you took your helmet off and put it away.
“Hey there, officer! Do I need to worry about a parking ticket?” Asami asked, hanging her arm just outside her door. You walked across the street and pretended to look.
“Absolutely not, miss Sato, flawless parking,” you grinned and Korra noticed a distinct lack of wooden swords at your hip.
“Please, Asami is fine,” Asami corrected you softly as all five of you began walking to the square. There was some street performance Asami heard about, so one thing led to another, and you all figured it would be a good way to relax and just hang out outside probending or work.
“I’ll go get snacks,” Mako said as Asami led them to the empty seats near the front row.
“I’ve got drinks. Bolin, you wanna help me out?” you asked and sure enough, with the three of you gone, Korra was left with Asami.
And suddenly the entire square seemed a bit small. What was she supposed to talk about? Korra glanced at the girl, at the confident smile, perfect, though minimal, makeup. “So, it’s just the two of us for now,” she said a bit awkwardly, saved only by Pabu chirping in her ear. “Three of us. Sorry, Pabu,” she apologized and reached up to pet the ferret.
Asami chuckled and Korra saw the lantern lights set up for the performance reflecting in the girl’s eyes, making them shine a bit. “I’m really glad you and Y/N could join us tonight,” Asami said, reaching up to scratch Pabu behind his ear.
Korra cleared her throat, figuring there was nothing to be nervous about. “I never apologized for interrupting your and Mako’s date,” she smiled sheepishly. “And thanks. For that night,” she added, still a bit affected by how they all reacted.
Asami’s eyes softened at that. “Anytime,” she said. “It was just a date, besides, we went out a few days later, so it’s not like we lost anything,” if Asami was lying, she was really good at it, because Korra couldn’t see any signs of deception.
“Ladies, your drinks,” Bolin returned, making a bit of a show of giving her and Asami the cups. Pabu jumped from Korra’s shoulder back to Bolin’s.
“What he said,” you shrugged, looking at Bolin’s little show with mix of amusement and uncertainty. And soon enough Mako came back as well and the five, or rather six of you, watched the performance held by a group of firebenders, an impressive display of grace and skill.
As she watched Korra found herself getting mesmerized by the city yet again, seeing one more side of it.
By the time the performance was over you had to leave though, leaving the four of them to go on with their night, quietly reminding them that underneath it all there was still a dangerous organization waiting to strike.
~X~ Y/N ~X~
Finally, finally, two months after your first spar you stood about two dozen feet from Korra, your wooden swords drawn and ready. “This almost feels nostalgic,” you grinned, widening your stance a bit as Korra stood there, all confident and ready.
Korra’s grin widened. “Only now I don’t have to worry about your injuries,” she rolled her shoulders and finally took a proper stance, a wide, earthbending stance, ready for your first move.
She had access to every element, the small pond providing water, and as you looked around you noticed that, while you’d be able to maneuver, the space was quite open.
Your heart skipped a beat despite everything. ‘Spirits, am I really about to attack the Avatar?’ you wondered nervously, seeing she had every intention of bending, even if she would keep it to probending level of attacks, certainly didn’t make you feel confident. Your heart skipped a beat again and you smirked, the nerves giving way to excitement and adrenaline. There was only one was this fight could go if Korra took you seriously, but you’d be damned if you didn’t enjoy testing your limits here.
“Well then, let’s do this,” you grinned, maybe a tad bit too excitedly as you dashed, not toward Korra, but to the side. She followed you with her eyes, turning slightly on the spot before she put her foot down, earthbending a wall in your path.
You jumped, kicking off the wall toward her with your blades drawn and ready. “You can do better than that,” Korra taunted you, switching from the stances in a motion so fluid it caught you off guard. Her foot slid across the ground and her arms moved in an arch waterbending a whip of water from the pond toward you.
You smirked, stabbing one of your blades into the earth wall to stop and land again. You pulled the sword out and ducked under the water whip, before lunging forward finally getting close enough to close the distance between you and Korra.
Korra smiled, throwing a fairly obvious punch and a ball of fire your way. You slashed through the air quickly enough to disperse the flames and finally reached her. “You know what I told you,” you grinned, pulling your sword back and going for a quick thrust.
“Don’t block, dodge,” Korra said, slipping smoothly to the side before she attempted to kick you from the side.
You planted your foot on the ground and jumped, flipping over her kick and twisting to slash. Korra moved just in time, effortlessly waterbending a thick water whip to block your slash and push you back. You landed easily, but it was clear she was waiting, giving you a moment so you weren’t completely vulnerable, and then she did a few quick jabs, sending spikes of ice your way.
The grin on your face grew wider as you deflected the first one, ducked under the next one and stepped to the side, avoiding a few more. And finally, Korra closed the distance, flames burst behind her, increasing her momentum as she jumped, aiming to knee you in the guts.
‘Nope! Can’t get hit with that!’ you realized, just barely stepping to the side, only for Korra to grin and reach out, grabbing your arm and throwing you toward the pond the moment she regained her footing. She followed after you, not giving you a moment to stop and think, and you had to throw one of your blades at her. It was barely enough to stop her for a moment, as the sword got stuck in the ground and she just sidestepped it.
But it was enough, as you used the other sword to slow down and skid to a stop before you could fall into the pond. You looked into Korra’s eyes as she closed the distance between you once again.
Yeah, you missed this a lot.
You brought your forearm up, blocking her kick as the flames licked the back of your shirt. You twisted your blade so you’d slash with the dull side and went for her side. But Korra brought her hand down, catching your forearm. You smirked, face to face with her, letting go of your sword and twisting your arm enough to switch into reverse grip, pushing just enough for the blade to push into her side.
Korra raised an eyebrow, still holding your forearm as you widened your stance and twisted, pushing the leg you were still blocking with your arm and her body and throwing her off you. She still regained her footing without any issue, landing and taking a step back to steady herself. You lunged forward, slipping around an earth pillar that erupted in your path.
There was no way you could let her control the distance, as low as your chances were in close quarters, they were nonexistent at any other range. And Korra let you get close, only throwing a kick a flame arc your way to get you right where she wanted you. You weren’t going to play that game though, as you slashed through the flames and spun the sword, stabbing it into the ground and using it as a pole to vault over Korra.
You caught glimpse of an excited grin on Korra’s face as she turned, attempting to backhand you. You slipped under her arm and went for an uppercut. She leaned back, your fist just barely touching her hair before you dropped down, sweeping her off her feet while her footing was off.
Korra let out a surprised gasp, but caught herself and kicked up, forcing you to block it with your forearms. It still nearly knocked all the air out of your lungs. She pushed against you, making you stumble back as she flipped back to her feet and slammed her foot down and several rocks the size of your upper body rose from the ground before she began throwing them at you.
You dodged them, your jaw dropping when you saw your wooden sword was lodged into one of the rocks. “Oh, come on!” you cried out, exasperated, and jumped over that rock in particular, grabbing the handle and just barely pulling the blade out. You had to completely drop the ground to dodge the next rock, but at least you had your blade again.
“Think fast,” Korra taunted you, as a wave rose from the pond and she waterbent it at you.
You stabbed the sword into the ground and got down on one knee behind it, letting the water hit you and trying to withstand it. The wave pushed against you, with a lot less force than Korra was capable of, but it still stopped you from trying to close the distance.
‘Spirits, I’m in over my head,’ you thought, more than aware of the absurd difference between you. You weren’t aiming to hurt her, but damn, even if you were, it felt impossible to land a good hit.
“Come on, Y/N! You were faster at the Memorial Island,” Korra laughed.
“I was dodging people, not elements!” you exclaimed and glanced to the side, noticing one of the rocks she bent at you shattered. “Well, don’t mind if I do,” you muttered to yourself, jumping to the side and grabbing the rock as you rolled across the ground. You rushed in again, dodging several fireballs and right before you were close enough to slash, you threw the rock.
Korra caught it, but it forced her to dodge a slash aimed at her head. You owed her an apology, you’ve gotten so attached to her that you avoided attacking her with the intention to hurt her. That was no way to treat a spar with someone like Korra.
She ducked under your slash and you dropped the blade into your other hand, this time thrusting toward her guts and forcing her to waterbend an ice wall in front of her. It shattered upon impact, but it slowed the thrust down enough for Korra to get out of the way.
“That’s more like it,” Korra grinned, raising her leg and dropping a fire kick at you. You raised both your forearms, blocking the kick, and even then, it made you drop to your knees. She stepped on your thigh and pushed herself off, flipping in mid-air and throwing several quick fire jabs at you.
You spun the blade in your hand, quick enough to block the small fireballs from hitting you, and jumped right after Korra. The two of you clashed and landed continuing to block and evade each other’s attempts, and then it happened. You managed to push Korra back and she took a few steps back, not noticing the sword you threw at her a while ago at this point, right behind her.
You rushed in just as Korra’s boot hit the wooden sword wedged into the ground behind her. “Woah!” Korra looked back, her eyes widening when she noticed what happened.
You smirked, skidding to a stop by her side and slipping your left arm around her waist, catching and steadying her. “Why, hello there,” you teased breathlessly, a drop of sweat rolling down your cheek, along with water from before, as you rested your remaining wooden sword against your shoulder.
Korra opened her mouth to reply but no words came out, and the two of you just stood like that for a moment, a small blush creeping up to Korra’s cheeks as she caught her breath. “Guess I wasn’t paying attention,” she admitted, less tired than you, but definitely not unaffected by the spar.
“Something like that,” you muttered, catching yourself looking into her eyes and getting mesmerized by them.
Korra’s hand slipped to your shoulder, making your breath hitch as she maintained eye contact. “Neither are you,” was all the warning you got before she slammed her foot own, making a narrow pillar of earth shot up from under your right foot, tipping you forward.
“Damn it, Korra!” you cried out, completely losing your balance as she twisted in your arm and tossed you onto the ground, pinning you there with her knee on your guts and catching both of your wrists before you could even think of doing anything. “Ow,” you groaned, blinking a few times and then noticing the smirk on Korra’s face as she looked at you from above. “That was just uncalled for,” you muttered, not even struggling to get your wrists free.
Korra was the one holding you down. You were never going to physically overpower her. “Surrender,” she demanded in a way too satisfied tone.
Oh, she had another thing coming to her if she thought it would be this easy. “Don’t want to,” you grinned defiantly.
Korra raised an eyebrow. “I’ve pinned you down,” which was very true, for better or for worse.
“I’m still conscious,” you pointed out cheekily.
Korra blinked a few times, like she was trying to figure out how you thought that mattered in any way in your current situation. “I could hit you if I wanted to,” she pointed out.
“I could have hit you too, when you were falling,” you pointed out and tried, just for fun, to free your hands. She didn’t budge, he just tightened her hold on your wrists and that was all it took. “Damn,” you muttered, glancing at her forearm. Yeah, there was nothing you could do.
Korra chuckled and shook her head, getting up and offering you her hand. “Come on, let’s go back inside,” she grinned and you took her hand, letting her pull you up to your feet. “I still won that,” she told you, nudging you with her elbow as you began walking toward the main building.
“I know, I know,” you finally gave in, letting her have it while you sheathed your wooden swords.
~X~ MAKO ~X~
The snow slowly turned the Republic City white. Mako glanced outside as he stirred the noodles for him and Bolin; the snow always reminded him of happier times, of his and Bolin’s parents taking them outside, of playing in the snow. How long had it been since he could fully relax.
Maybe soon he’d be able to relax again? To stop worrying about every yuan. He glanced back, seeing Bolin sitting in front of a bowl filled with water, trying to give Pabu a bath. There was a new rip on Bolin’s sleeveless shirt, already sewn together, but still, that might end, if only they could win the tournament.
“Work with me here, Pabu! You want to look spick and span in your new uniform, don't you?” Bolin tried to convince the stubborn fire ferret to accept the bath and Mako had to smile to himself. Leave it to Bolin to try and bargain with the fire ferret to take a bath.
Eventually, after a lot of effort on Bolin’s part, Mako heard a sound of something being dunked in the water. And then there was a resigned, sad chirp from Pabu. “So, what do you think of Korra, in a girlfriend sort of way?” Bolin suddenly asked.
Mako’s heart skipped a beat, the image of Korra sleeping in your arms flashing in front of his eyes. His heart still ached as he thought back to that. “She's great! But I think it makes more sense for me to go for Asami,” he still said, not wanting to admit that there was a good chance Korra already had feelings for you and that it wouldn’t matter even if he made a move.
It was easier like this.
“l was talking about a girlfriend for me! Leave some ladies for the rest of us!” Bolin chastised him.
Mako’s blood ran cold, but he didn’t turn around. “I know; that's what I thought you meant,” he quickly blurted out, his eyes wide and frightened as he thought back to all the times Bolin showed interest in Korra. Every practice, every conversation about her, every time he tried to flirt. Mako wanted to kick himself, he should have seen this coming, he should have noticed his brother was heading head-first into heartbreak.
“Well?” Bolin insisted a bit impatiently, while Mako had no idea how to even try to approach the conversation.
“I don’t know, Bo. It doesn't seem like a good idea for you to date Korra,” he said awkwardly.
This was not the conversation he wanted to have right now, one night before their first match.
“You just said she was great two seconds ago,” Bolin pointed out, making Mako bite his lip. He did say that didn’t he?
“Yeah, Korra is a great athlete and Avatar and stuff, but I don't know if she is really girlfriend material. She's more like a pal,” he tried while mentally repeating ‘don’t mention Y/N, don’t mention Y/N,’ to himself.
“You’re nuts! Korra and I are perfect for each other! She's strong, I'm strong. She's fun, I'm fun. She's beautiful, I'm gorgeous!” Bolin declared confidently and in normal circumstances Mako probably would have agreed with him. Only there was one nonbending officer right in the middle of Bolin’s way, and Bolin seemed oblivious about that. “I don't care what you think, I'm gonna ask Korra out,” Bolin decided.
No way. He could not let that happen. “Look, not only is it not smart to date a teammate, Korra also, probably, likes Y/N,” he couldn’t avoid it, and if it broke Bolin’s heart, he figured it would hurt him less than Korra directly rejecting him.
He heard a loud splashing sound and looked back, seeing Pabu in the water bowl, Bolin’s jaw hanging open and his hands uselessly in the air like he just dropped Pabu. “Come on, no way. Y/N is, you know, an officer. She’s just assigned to watch Korra,” he argued, like he wasn’t there the morning after Korra challenged Amon.
“I don’t think that’s how Korra sees her,” Mako argued as gently as he could.
Bolin thought about it for a moment and then slowly reached into the bowl, pulling Pabu back out of the water. “Won’t know for sure unless I ask her out,” so, that was all for nothing. “You know what I’m talking about, Pabu. Talking about real love,” he said and Mako sighed, mentally preparing to comfort Bolin when Korra rejects him.
~X~ KORRA ~X~
The snow definitely made Korra excited. She spent the whole day outside with Naga, training, sure, but also absolutely falling back onto the snow. Warmth was nice and all, but this felt so much like home, especially when Naga brought her to your room this morning and she found dumplings.
She should really have a conversation with you about that. Dumplings were awesome, but she’d prefer it if you didn’t vanish after delivering them. Why would you even leave? If you wanted to sleep, you still had a room at the Air Temple Island.
Either way, she was with Jinora and Ikki, leaving fruit for lemurs. “So, Korra,” Jinora suddenly looked at her with a teasing grin on her face. Why did that grin suddenly remind her of you? “Are you by any chance missing a certain officer who used to spend a lot of time here?” Korra’s eyes widened and she felt heat rushing to her cheeks.
“What?! No! Where did you get that idea?” she asked, flustered and looking around like you would pop up out of nowhere. For the first time since you went back to police duty she was actually, genuinely happy you weren’t here.
“Ooh! Tell us all about the magical romance!” Ikki exclaimed, circling around Korra.
“There’s no romance! I’m, I’m not interested in any romantic stuff,” she cleared her throat, chuckling awkwardly as she lowered the empty fruit basket to the ground next to the other one they emptied earlier.
“Besides, she’s busy all the time now and I’ve got probending and,” she looked around, trying to think of any excuses as the two girls, completely unconvinced, nodded along. She grinned awkwardly, ignoring how fast her heart was beating. “But let’s just pretend for a second, just pretend, that I am interested in,” she looked around again, not seeing any sign of you, “Y/N, what would I do?” a small part of her wondered if she really just asked two girls for advice.
Who else could she ask though? Asami? Probably the best choice, but just no. Pema? Too close for Korra’s comfort. Who else did she have left? Naga? Because she definitely wasn’t talking about this with you, Mako, Bolin or Tenzin.
So, Jinora and Ikki.
Spirits she was desperate.
Jinora smiled, getting a dreamy look in her eyes. “I just read a where the heroine fell in love with the enemy general's son, who's supposed to marry the princess. You should do what she did,” that was maybe promising? Korra couldn’t tell yet.
Korra leaned in, curious. “Tell me!”
“She rode a dragon into battle and burned down the entire country, then she jumped into a volcano. It was so romantic,” Korra’s face dropped as Jinora told her the story.
“Where is she supposed to get a dragon?” you asked, appearing out of nowhere and Korra let her heart completely stopping in her chest as she froze, unable to even look back and see how close you were.
Why did you suddenly appear?! How much did you hear?!
“Mom, Y/N!” Ikki exclaimed, and Korra finally turned around to see you and Pema walking over to the three of them.
You grinned and stopped right by her side. “Uh, how much did you hear?” Korra asked, awkwardly, hoping you didn’t hear her say your name. She checked! You weren’t there!
“Just Jinora’s story,” you said, grinning at Jinora and ruffling her hair, much to the girl’s annoyance. “Don’t go burning down countries, kid,” you teased.
Jinora rolled her eyes. “I guess that would be excessive,” she agreed.
“Yeah! Besides, everyone knows the best way to win someone’s heart is to brew a love potion of rainbows and sunsets that makes true lovers sprout wings and fly into a magical castle in the sky, where they get married and eat clouds with spoons, and use stars as ice cubes in their moonlight punch! For ever and ever and ever!” Ikki exclaimed, finishing with an airbending enhanced spinning jump as both Korra and you looked at her speechless.
“Uh, good luck finding a dragon?” you told her.
“Yeah. The volcano is starting to make more sense to me now,” she admitted, looking at you, unsure of how to react here. You were right here, unaware that Jinora and Ikki were trying to help her win your heart.
Pema chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. “That’s all nice, but I don’t think you two are helping Korra as much as you’d like to,” she said, teasing her girls.
Jinora tilted her head. “What was your and daddy’s love story like, mom?” she asked.
Your breath hitched beside Korra and you abruptly turned around. “Nope, I do not need to hear this!” you decided, starting to march into the forest. Or you would have if Ikki and Jinora didn’t grab your wrists, likely wanting you to be here while their mother gave advice. Like that would somehow help Korra’s situation with you.
Reluctantly, and with a heavy sigh, you turned around, looking anywhere but at Pema.
Pema chuckled and looked to the side, reminiscing. “Well, it wasn’t exactly the usual story. Tenzin was in love with another woman,” you visibly flinched at that, for some reason. “And for the longest time I didn’t do anything, fearing rejection, and I was also quite shy,” Pema continued, though she did raise an eyebrow at your reaction.
“What happened then?” Ikki asked excitedly.
“Watching my soul mate spend his life with the wrong woman became too painful. So, I hung my chin out there and I confessed my love to Tenzin. And the rest is history,” Pema explained, making Korra, Jinora and Ikki swoon, especially knowing how well Pema and Tenzin got along. And if Korra was being honest, just confessing directly felt by far like the best approach.
“Yay for love,” you said dryly, not even flinching when Korra lightly elbowed you. You just looked at Pema with something in your eyes Korra couldn’t quite decipher.
Pema looked right back at you, tilting her head a bit and raising an eyebrow. “So, since we’re all sharing, advice, what about you, Y/N? What would you do?” Pema asked curiously.
You frowned, crossing your arms as you thought about it for a moment. “I mean, the only relationship I feel like I was ever properly exposed to were Fu and Meng, and at that point they were together for a long time. I guess don’t rush?” you said, turning to Korra. “I mean, I’m guessing you want something serious, so get to know them, if you like someone and know you can count on them to have your back, go for it, but wait to make sure,” you said in a softer tone.
Korra swallowed the lump in her throat. Oh, she was sure you’d have her back, you’ve proven it. “Thanks,” she muttered, remembering the feeling of your jacket around her back, the same jacket you were currently wearing, and your arm around her waist.
Spirits, she was sure.
She looked into your eyes, leaning slightly toward you, and for a moment she glanced at your lips, and then blinked, clearing her throat. “We should probably head back, right? You have to go to the office later,” she remembered. Even on the nights you joined them for dinner you never stayed long, always needing to go back to the city to keep working on the Equalist case.
She’d wait a bit longer, just for the moment that feels right.
~X~ Y/N ~X~
The whole probending arena roared in cheers as the first match of the singe elimination part of the tournament began, and you were in the team booth, leaning on the fence with Asami next to you. Pabu was on her shoulder, chirping happily as she gave him a treat.
“You look nervous,” you pointed out, looking at her with a friendly grin on your face.
Asami chuckled. “I am a bit nervous. I mean, I’ve seen them training, I know they’ve got this, but still, I just want things to go well for them,” she admitted, smiling softly as she looked at the Fire Ferrets.
“I get that,” you agreed, turning your attention fully to the team as the platform they were on moved toward the arena. You saw Bolin waving at the crowd, soaking up all the attention.
“Introducing our first team, the Future Industries Fire Ferrets!” as those words echoed throughout the arena Korra and Mako raised their hands as well and you could have sworn Korra was looking at you.
You smiled, raising your fist in encouragement. You didn’t yell; she wouldn’t be able to hear you even if you yelled as loudly as you could. You couldn’t even clearly see her face from this distance, especially with her helmet on, but knowing her, she was grinning.
“Admit it, you’re only here to watch her,” Asami teased you, and you choked on your spit. Yeah, you weren’t dignifying that with an answer, which was already enough for Asami to laugh next to you.
You focused only on the match, ignoring the noise around you, including the commentator. You just relaxed, watching as the match began, and Korra, Mako and Bolin quickly proved there really was nothing to worry about.
They were undeniably incredible, working flawlessly together, in a way you didn’t usually see even from seasoned police teams. You whistled as Korra did a side cartwheel, dodging the opposing team’s attack and countering almost immediately. Before long the other team was pushed to zone two as the Fire Ferrets moved like one.
“Damn, they’ve gotten really good,” you whistled, only to notice from the corner of your eyes that Asami’s eyes widened. “Uh, sorry?” you said sheepishly, rubbing the back of your head. “I kinda curse,” you chuckled awkwardly.
“Kinda?” Asami asked as she got over the initial surprise. “I expected worse, honestly. Given what Korra said at one point,” she said, smirking a bit.
You smirked back. “Oh, I’m way worse than that,” you promised and turned your attention back to the match as the first round ended.
The second round began and the other team focused their efforts on Bolin, figuring he was the weakest link. Which probably was the truth, but that being said, his teammates were the Avatar and an insanely talented firebender, even if he was the weakest link, it was just because someone had to be the weakest link, not because he was inherently weak.
Either way, Korra jumped to his defenses, blocking and countering in one smooth motion, pushing one of the girls they were fighting against to zone two.
She was getting ridiculously fast as well, with every spar you two had it was getting more and more difficult to catch her slipping or not paying attention to her surroundings. After that one time she tripped on your sword you had to work a lot more to catch her off guard.
And you couldn’t be more pleased with her because of that.
The Fire Ferrets easily won the second round as well, and there was no doubt how the match would end.
The other team would need a miracle, and they just wouldn’t get one. And sure enough, the third round went by without a hitch, and the Fire Ferrets won their first match in the elimination stage.
~X~ KORRA ~X~
The adrenaline coursed through her veins as she took her helmet off, grinning widely at Mako and Bolin as they all went back to the team booth. “We keep playing like this, and we’ve got this tournament in the bag,” Bolin cheered and frankly, Korra couldn’t agree more.
“Take it easy, we’ve still got a long way to go,” Mako pointed out and Korra patted him on the back, a bit more forcefully than needed.
“Come on city boy, let us have this,” she teased him as the three of them reached the booth and Bolin stayed behind, thanking the crowd.
“Congratulations, guys! You were so amazing out there!” Asami exclaimed as Pabu jumped off her shoulder and ran to Bolin. Meanwhile Asami went to Mako, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek.
Korra looked at them, smiling slightly and then saw you, leaning against the wall and grinning at her before pushing off the wall and approaching her. “One down, three to go,” you grinned, making it very clear you believed they’d win this whole thing.
“You can say that again,” she said confidently with her hands on her hips, proudly lifting her chin up high before you both burst out laughing. “Thanks for coming tonight,” she said, glancing up to the glass roof and seeing the stars above.
“Don’t mention it,” you said and for a moment Korra’s heart began beating louder. Maybe now was the right time? “Say, do you want to grab breakfast maybe one of these days, maybe two or three days from now? After I’m done with my shift?” you asked, cutting her off before she could blurt out how she felt. “I mean, we use to do it all the time and now I’m always away, so you know, change the pace a bit,” you explained, yet all Korra could focus on was the invitation.
Blood rushed to her face and Korra quickly nodded. “I’d like that, a lot,” she said, figuring she could wait a bit more with the confession. You had work tonight, she didn’t want to distract you in case anything happened.
The two of you went to the lockers and Korra put her helmet away as Bolin joined you, opening his own locker.
“So, Korra, I was thinking,” he began, leaning sideways on his locker. “You and me, we could go get some dinner together,” he invited her and Korra grinned, happy to hang out. “Sort of a date situation,” her grin vanished immediately as she realized now what Bolin meant.
She gave Bolin an apologetic smile and the moment he saw it, his own excitement faded ever so slightly. “I’m really sorry, Bolin. I’d love to hang out as friends though,” she tried to be as gentle as she possibly could, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
The smile on his face fell and he glanced behind her, at you, making Korra’s heart skip a beat. Spirits, was she that obvious? But then Bolin’s grin came back, not as wide as the one she was used to seeing on his face, but it was there, and for a moment Korra believed he took it as well as he could.
“I get it, but whoever you do date better be incredible,” he said, making Korra smile. He spread his arms. “I’m serious!” he pointed at her. “You’re the most incredible girl in the world, so you got to have standards!”
Korra chuckled, shaking her head slightly.
“Smart guy. Best romance advice you could have gotten,” you commented from the side and Korra glanced at you, smiling, missing the way Bolin’s grin got even smaller.
~X~ Y/N ~X~
It was way too hot for this time of the year. You tugged at your collar as you sat on the bench in front of a bakery, looking at the clear skies. Some lizard crows landed on the nearby wire, looking around for any pastries people might have dropped. Or anything they could eat, really.
You yawned, stretching a bit where you sat as the city kept on moving. No matter what happened, normal lives went on, working, studying, worrying about their own problems and keeping their opinions on the Equalist movement mostly to themselves.
“Hey, officer. Sleeping on duty?” Korra approached you from behind, leaning over you with a teasing grin. It’s been a few days since her first match and you finally had an office-only night at the station, without going to any place that made you feel like you had to wash the scent off and still keep your distance from Korra and your half-siblings.
“On duty while sleeping,” you mumbled sleepily with a lazy grin on your face, reaching up to loosely twirl a strand of her hair around your finger. For a moment her eyes widened, and you pulled back, sitting up straight. “Sorry, that was inappropriate,” you immediately apologized.
Korra looked at you and then just began laughing. She reached over, messing with your hair in return and then grabbed your forearm. “Come on, I’m starving,” she grinned, pulling you along to the bakery.
You let her pull you, smiling as you fixed your hair and followed her. She took the table closest to the doors, grinning excitedly. “So, the practice went well?” you asked as the waiter came over taking your orders. You both ordered the same thing, a large pie you’d split and sweet iced tea.
Korra’s entire face lit up as she began telling you about the practice. “It went great! We’re getting better with every practice! You should have seen Asami’s face when we did this combination,” she exclaimed, animatedly telling you about this new tactic the team came up with. “You’ll love it when you see it in the next match, we dodge and counter and block and it’s really fast,” she even took the salt and pepper and oil, moving them around on the table.
And you just found yourself leaning your chin on your palm, looking at her without even realizing how softly you were smiling. When the food was brought over you barely glanced at the receipt and paid, not daring to take your attention off Korra.
You couldn’t wait to see the combination that got her so excited.
~X~ Y/N ~X~
Your job had other plans.
You were walking toward the arena, well-rested for once after a long rest at your apartment. It was still a bit early, most of the audience would come in about half an hour, but you figured you could drop by and see how Korra was doing before the match.
Clearly you weren’t meant to plan any fun activities, as standard police motorcycle stopped right next to you. You sighed as Asuka lifted her vizor and offered you a helmet. “Hop on, there’s trouble,” she said, and in an instant the annoyance vanished, and you got on the motorcycle behind her.
“What’s going on?” you asked as she sped away from the arena.
“We’ve got a tip, Triple Threats and Agni Kais teamed up; they are going to attack one of Equalist training facilities. The one Tarrlok’s Task Force exposed,” your blood ran cold as she said that.
“What about Byako?” you demanded as she cut between buildings to reach the HQ faster.
“No information,” she replied grimly, the tires screeching to a stop at a red light and forcing you to hold onto her a bit tighter. “All I know is that we got to stop this from turning into a bloodbath,” she stepped on the gas the moment the lights turned green.
She drove up to the station, and you saw Dan and a few other officers getting a truck ready. “Finally!” Dan yelled, throwing your wooden swords toward you as you got off Asuka’s motorcycle.
You caught the blades and rolled your eyes. “Don’t throw them,” you complained, hopping into the back of the truck.
“Do we have any new information?” Asuka asked as she sat down next to you.
“Negative,” Dan said as the engine roared to life and the truck sped off toward the Equalist hideout. “Leave it to Tarrlok to give us a mess to clean,” he scoffed, echoing the sentiment of some of the other officers in the back of the truck.
“Couldn’t they at least leave the location out? It was like they were asking for triads to try and get revenge,” another officer you vaguely recognized pointed out.
Asuka sighed. “Maybe that was the whole point. Things are already tense, triads attacking them will only fuel their resistance,” she hunched forward a bit, a few strands of graying hair falling over her face. “Don’t focus on arresting anyone, our main priority is preventing any casualties.”
“Yes, captain,” you all replied as one.
~X~ KORRA ~X~
She couldn’t get rid of a sinking feeling in her guts that she was at the wrong place, that she should be somewhere else, doing something else. The more she sat there the more the pit in her stomach grew, unsettling her, like every fiber of her being demanded to leave the arena.
Korra, dressed in her uniform, glanced at the doors, expecting you to come in any moment now. The match would start in a few minutes, maybe even sooner if the current match ended in a knockout.
Not to mention things were a bit tenser than usual, with Bolin being a bit quiet. He’s been like that since she rejected him, making her realized that, despite his initial reaction, he didn’t take it as well as she thought he did.
Things were good while they were practicing, they were in sync, but the moment the practice ended there was a feeling she couldn’t shake off. And that made Mako more tense than usual as well.
“Maybe something came up?” Asami, who was standing with Mako by the lockers, offered.
Korra looked up, really hating how sympathetic Asami looked. It wasn’t even about the combination she wanted to show you, though she did want you to see it. Asami was right. Something must have happened if you weren’t here. “Maybe,” she agreed, putting her helmet on as they were called to the arena.
“Stay focused,” Mako reminded her and she felt her eye twitch at that. “I mean, she can take care of herself, besides, it’s probably paperwork or something,” he raised his hands defensively.
Sure. Paperwork. “I’m focused,” she argued, glancing toward the team booth one last time, hoping you’d rush in at the last second. You didn’t, so, Korra took a deep breath and focused on the match.
A/N: So, this chapter was supposed to get through the entirety of episode 5, but as you can see, it’s already getting long, so I figured this is a good spot to end it. Comments make me very motivated to keep writing. Tell me anything. Predictions, thoughts, how do you like Korra and Y/N’s relationship progressing, anything that comes to mind.
Summary: You thought you knew your limits, that you knew when to stop. You firmly believed you could stop at any moment, that it was all your choice, but some things don't go that way. Sometimes the things you think are under your control are actually controlling you.
Story Masterlist / Part 22
Word Count: 6k
A/N: Before you proceed with this chapter, this one is a lot, right away, serious medical condition, extremely heavy angst, and suicide. So, proceed with caution.
-I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream, 'cause my dreams don't comfort me the way you make me feel; wakin' up to you never felt so real-
~X~ NATALIE ~X~ January 3rd, 1997 ~X~
Natalie bit her lip as she sat by your side. You pushed yourself too hard today and now you were slipping in and out of consciousness yet again. There was something frantic about the way you acted all day, well, more frantic than usual anyway. Like you wanted to make up for the few days you were recovering. “Reckless idiot,” she cursed under her breath as Jackie placed a new wet cloth on your forehead.
Yet your fever only got worse as hours passed.
The wind whistled harshly outside the cabin, and she dared to glance outside, wondering how much longer the blizzard that started a few hours ago would last. The cabin was cold, the fire doing very little to combat the cold seeping through the wooden walls.
Someone’s stomach growled, maybe her own, maybe Jackie’s, maybe someone else’s. It hardly mattered at this point. There was no food left, and in this blizzard, they couldn’t even go out to look for anything. The net was repaired, but ultimately uselessly tucked in the corner of an already small cabin.
You coughed again, in a way that made her blood run cold, but before she could react Jackie moved behind you, lifting you up a bit to ease your breathing, if only for a short while.
“Is there really nothing we can do?” Akilah walked over and sat down near you, and Natalie just looked at Misty, who shook her head for what felt like the thousandth time. Without medicine there was nothing that could be done. They didn’t even have any medicinal herbs, let alone antibiotics.
“She’ll pull through,” Jackie refused to accept that it was only a matter of time at this point, stubbornly clinging to you like her presence alone could fix whatever was killing you from the inside. It made Natalie clench her fists.
How Natalie wished she could be as optimistic; or at least hope. As it was, as she sat there, her shoulders slumped and entire body tense, her eyes only dry because she had no tears left to cry, all she felt was hopeless emptiness, mourning you ahead of time.
Before anyone could say anything, you began coughing again, harsh, wet coughs sounding like they were ripping through your throat, shook your entire body. “Y/N!” Natalie reached for you, moving to kneel by your side as your body curled up and you clawed at your throat, choking between coughs.
“Baby, come on, come on,” Jackie of all people moved, Akilah jumping to help her as they made you sit up and held you like that as you coughed into your hands. Aside from your coughing no one made a sound, though everyone moved closer, terrified of what would happen to you, but also afraid to get any closer, fearing they’d overwhelm you if too many people were too close.
You eventually slumped back into Jackie’s arms, still occasionally coughing while you looked around, your eyes unfocused. But the worst passed for now. Or so Natalie thought, until she saw a thin trail of red starting from your lips. “What the fuck, Y/N?” she gasped, fresh, angry tears she thought she ran out of making her eyes burn.
“What?” Jackie asked breathlessly, a choked sound escaping past her lips. She probably followed Natalie’s line of sight and saw blood. “Y/N?” she whispered your name in a shaky, terrified voice as her trembling fingers brushed over the red line, smudging it.
“I’ll be fine,” you lied, wincing at how weak your voice was. Natalie was just few feet away from you, and even she barely heard you. “I’ll be-“ you tried to speak louder and immediately coughed. You tilted your head back, breathing heavily.
Every breath you took sounded like you ran a marathon.
“You won’t be,” Misty disagreed and Natalie wasn’t even sure when she approached you, but she knelt by you and Jackie, Akilah stepping to the side to give her space. The girl looked at you and shook her head. “You’ve got pneumonia,” she said, making Natalie feel like the entire cabin was spinning and threatening to collapse.
“Oh,” you muttered, like you weren’t even so surprised.
You weren’t surprised and Natalie just sat back, her entire body feeling numb and weightless. They had no means to treat a cold, and you had fucking pneumonia, out here in the middle of nowhere. She looked at you, struggling to process Misty’s diagnosis. It was like your body suddenly morphed in the past few days, growing thinner and more frail, stripping you of your strength.
“You’re wrong. Why would you say that?!” Jackie rejected it furiously, trembling behind you as she glared at Misty. Misty stepped back, looking away to avoid Jackie’s fury. Jackie, however, focused on you, wetting a clean cloth to wipe your face and hands.
“I don’t think she is, Captain,” you muttered, somehow sounding softer when you were talking to Jackie even in this situation. And Jackie shut her eyes, trying not to cry and failing as tears slid down her cheeks and dripped onto your shoulder.
Natalie clenched her fists, her nails mercilessly digging into her palms. “Did you know today?” Natalie asked, her voice trembling as she looked at you, heartbroken, furious, not even sure what she felt at this point.
And you, damn you for that, nodded, reaching up to place your hand over Jackie’s, your thumb slowly brushing over the back of Jackie’s hand. “Not what it was, just that I’m coughing up blood,” you rasped, struggling to get even those few words out.
Jackie inhaled sharply, and from the corner of her eyes Natalie noticed some of the other girls reacting as well, either gasping in shock or slumping back in despair. What the fuck were any of them supposed to do now?
She looked at you again, swallowing the lump in your throat. Your eyes remained unfocused, empty, like you fucking gave up. For the first time since Natalie met you it truly looked like you were done, too tired to even try and fight this. “Fuck!” she cried out, getting up and walking away from you, heading straight to the pantry so she wouldn’t have to look at you.
“Nat!” Travis rushed in after her and she turned to look at him, shaking her head and just falling into his arms, her body trembling as she her heart being ripped out of her. “I’m here,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head, by accident doing something you would do from time to time, nearly shattering what little remained of her.
~X~ JACKIE ~X~
The blizzard still continued, and the snow had already reached the windows when she last checked. Jackie didn’t even know how high it got since then, or how many hours passed. She was the only one awake from the looks of it, terrified to fall asleep. She sat against the wall; a single blanket covered her back as she held you against her chest.
You couldn’t lie down anymore, choking almost immediately, so, this was the only option.
She couldn’t even tell if you were sleeping or unconscious at this point. “If I could save time in a bottle
the first thing that I'd like to do-“ she tried to sing softly and choked up, a quiet sob coming out instead of words as she hugged you tighter.
“Is to save every day,” you tried and coughed for your efforts. “Sorry,” you mumbled, making Jackie sniffle helplessly.
She reached over, taking a mug filled with water that Mari brought when she tossed more wood into the fireplace. “Shh, just drink,” Jackie whispered, bringing the mug to your lips and slowly tipping it as you took a few sips.
Your entire body shuddered suddenly and Jackie glanced at the fire, slowly dying out and slowly began untangling from you. “Please don’t,” you rasped, holding her wrist just a bit firmer. “Just stay with me,” you whispered and turned your head a bit so your ear was pressed against her chest, where her heart was.
“Okay,” Jackie whispered, clinging to you and running her fingers through your hair.
“And just when we,” you whispered, sounding so weak and defeated broke something in Jackie yet again. There was no need to finish that sentence, not with the way you clung to her like a terrified child. “I don’t want to die like this,” you sobbed.
Jackie froze, your sobs and coughs breaking them apart fading as she stared into the distance. “You’re going to get better,” she argued, stubbornly, even as the reality crashed into both of you.
“I’m not,” you shook your head, and your hand, already barely gripping her own, fell, all your strength long gone at this point. “I don’t want to leave you here,” you whimpered.
Fresh tears spilled from Jackie’s eyes as she reached behind and unclasped her necklace. “You won’t,” she refused it, just like she refused to leave you in the snow, now she refused to give up on you as she put her heart necklace around your neck. You didn’t react, exhaustion taking over and making you fall asleep again. “I love you,” she whispered, hoping that somehow you could hear her.
~X~ JACKIE ~X~ January 4th, 1997 ~X~
Jackie gasped, waking up with a startle and was met with the cabin illuminated by nothing but the fire from the fireplace, no one even dared to light the lamp, they were running out of oil or whatever the lamps were using. She wasn’t sure when she fell asleep, but you weren’t coughing, so she didn’t wake up sooner.
She looked at you, seeing you were sleeping, your breathing slow and steady. If you didn’t have fever she probably could have convinced herself that you were just sleeping, perfectly fine. “She’s not coughing. That’s a good sign, right?” she asked, noticing Misty nearby.
Misty eyed you as Nat brought heated water bottles to replace the ones under your blanket. “She usually reacts when we do that,” Misty pointed out and sure enough, instead of stirring like you did over the past couple of days, you didn’t react in any way. Not even frowning.
You were just sleeping, you were recovering, you were just too exhausted to react this time. That was all.
“Y/N?” Nat called your name and shook you gently. You didn’t react.
You didn’t react!
Jackie’s heart hammered against her chest and she held her breath, focusing only on the sound of your breathing. You were breathing, you were in her arms, you were fine. Right? So why weren’t you reacting? Why weren’t you waking up?!
“Wake up,” she whispered, pulling you closer and shaking you a bit. Yet nothing happened. “Misty!” she cried out at the same time as Nat and Misty flinched but rushed to your side.
“Let me,” Misty said, and Nat immediately stepped to the side, giving her space. Misty’s hands trembled as she splashed your face with water, yet nothing happened.
“Misty, what’s wrong with her?” Taissa approached slowly, with some of the other girls with her.
“She’s breathing, why isn’t she waking up?” Van asked, sounding distraught.
Misty visibly swallowed the lump in her throat and opened your eyes only to them scramble back, falling onto the floor and looking at you with wide, terrified eyes. Crystal rushed to her side, placing her hands on Misty’s shoulders to comfort her.
“Misty, say something!” Nat demanded and Misty closed her eyes, turning her head away.
“I, I can’t be sure, but I think she might be in a coma,” she whispered, yet it was loud enough that everyone heard her.
The whole cabin began spinning in front of Jackie’s eyes and her breathing grew erratic. Coma? From the corner of her eyes, she saw Nat leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor, looking at the floor and shaking.
“So, so she’s just going to die?” Jackie didn’t even recognize the voices anymore, she just stared at you.
“Lottie did say she was claimed by the water!”
“Not like this!”
“She might still wake up!”
“If she doesn’t die of thirst, maybe.”
“What do we do? Just pour water down her throat?”
“A comatose patient can’t swallow, she’ll just breathe it in! All we can do is keep her mouth damp so it doesn’t get too dry.”
She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder and jerked her head up, staring wide-eyed at Lottie, kneeling by her side. “Breathe, focus on me, Jackie,” Lottie said firmly, gently squeezing her shoulder. “What would Y/N tell you now?” she asked, trying to ground Jackie through you.
For a moment, the time she had a panic attack crossed her mind. Pink horse, your arms around her, your voice.
Jackie swallowed, despite how dry her throat felt. “Pink horse, I shouldn’t think about a pink horse,” so, naturally, she thought about a pink horse. And then she looked down at Lottie’s hand, and in an instant seething rage overwhelmed her. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” she accused through gritted teeth.
Lottie looked down, pulling back her hand, for a moment Jackie could have sword she saw guilt in her eyes. “Not like this. Not this,” she hesitated, “torture,” the word echoed through the cabin, even if Lottie said it softly, her voice filled with regret.
For a moment it looked like the old Lottie was back, the one who didn’t claim people were claimed by the water, the one who didn’t know things she shouldn’t know. Their Lottie would never want this to happen to anyone, let alone a teammate.
“It doesn’t matter what she wanted, this isn’t her fault,” Nat said and suddenly she was on her feet, glaring at someone in the back of the group. Jackie followed Nat’s line of sight and saw exactly who Nat was glaring at.
Shauna.
~X~ NATALIE ~X~
One moment she was sitting on the floor, the next she was on her feet, marching toward the doors. No one stopped her, no one was thinking clearly enough to stop her, and before they could figure out what she was doing, she grabbed the rifle, checked to see if the bullet was inside and in one swift motion turned around and raised the rifle, pointing it at Shauna.
She heard gasps, heard her name being yelled, and she couldn’t care less. Only one thing mattered now.
Shauna froze, her eyes widening in fear as she stared at the rifle. ‘Good, feel a fraction of what she felt,’ Natalie thought, her hands shaking as she stood there, breathing heavily. She should have done this days ago. Fuck your stupid decision to spare Shauna. She didn’t deserve it. Shauna took you from her.
“Nat, lower the rifle,” Taissa said softly, taking a slow step closer.
“Not a single step! Stay the fuck out of this!” Natalie yelled, nearly pointing the rifle at Taissa as well.
Hot tears streamed down her face, blurring her vision. It didn’t matter; Shauna was too close to miss her.
Shauna’s hand automatically went to her stomach. “I didn’t mean,” Shauna whispered, fear making her voice tremble.
“I don’t care,” Natalie snarled, steadying the rifle as much as she could. It didn’t matter what Shauna meant, you were never going to wake up again. “You took my best friend from me,” she narrowed her eyes, trying to calm her heart down.
‘Pull the fucking trigger!’ her heart demanded, yet her finger refused to squeeze it, to fire the shot. Once again she felt like that scared girl in that trailer, threatening to shoot her father. Nothing changed, even after shooting so many animals the thought of pulling the trigger here and now made her freeze in place.
“Nat,” Ben’s voice made her breath hitch as he stood up, stepping closer to her. “This isn’t what Y/N wants,” he said, using his crutches to reach her. Wants… Not wanted. Like you had any fucking chance of waking up now. Like there was any other way this would end.
You’d need a miracle, and she’s long since stopped believing in those.
Even if she did, you had to run out of luck eventually.
“It doesn’t matter what she wanted,” Natalie snapped, and it felt almost like something was telling her to do it, like the wind whistling outside the cabin was encouraging her, promising to swallow the sound of the gunshot. “Look! Look where wanting got her! None of this would have happened if she wasn’t in love with Jackie!” she yelled, seeing red as her blood boiled.
She heard Jackie gasping. And yet, instead of feeling guilty, a part of her felt pleased. “You heard me, Captain,” she spat the nickname out like it was poison that ate you alive. “Shauna pushed her, but don’t go sitting there like you didn’t cause this! You just had to cause drama because Shauna fucked Jeff!”
“Natalie, stop it,” Ben tried gently, placing his hand on her back. “This isn’t helping anyone,” no, it was helping her. It was about time she let it all out instead of letting them get away with this!
“Why? So they feel better? If you both wanted Jeff so badly, why did Y/N die for your fight?! Why, Jackie?!” she demanded while still pointing the rifle at Shauna, yet with each cry the rifle lowered, bit by bit, exhaustion and grief catching up with her.
“Jesus Christ,” one of the girls gasped, shocked and probably distraught.
“I,” Jackie whimpered and for the first time since she grabbed the rifle, Natalie looked at Jackie, seeing the crestfallen look on the girl’s face. She didn’t have the answer, of course. How could she? What could she possibly say to convince anyone that this wasn’t her fault.
“You don’t deserve her. All you’ve ever caused her was pain and now she’s gone,” her arms slumped, the rifle slipping through her fingers. It would have landed on the floor if Ben didn’t manage to catch it.
“I know,” Jackie whispered, all of her confidence, all of her entitlement gone from her voice.
“Good. Stay the fuck away from her then,” Natalie spat out, yet Jackie didn’t move, she still held on to you, like you were hers to hold. “Get away from Y/N, Jackie!” she shouted, turning completely to Jackie, anger morphing her face as she took a step closer, only for Travis to grab her by the waist before she could physically remove her from Y/N.
“Nat, please stop,” Travis pleaded as she struggled to get out of his hold.
“I told you! I kept begging you to stop being selfish, and you still kept choosing yourself, knowing Y/N would choose you every fucking time! This is as much on you as it is on Shauna! Even more!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, looking at your lifeless body, at the slow, barely visible rising of your chest acting as the only proof of life.
“I know! But I’m not leaving her! I’m not giving up on her,” Jackie argued back through tears, yet it only fueled Natalie’s rage. “Yell at me all you want, I’m not leaving her side,” she sobbed, dropping her forehead to your shoulder.
“Fuck you, Jackie,” Natalie snarled, finally breaking free from Travis and heading to the attic so she wouldn’t completely lose it.
~X~ JACKIE ~X~
‘It’s all my fault.’
Jackie kept her eyes closed, focusing on the sound of your breathing. Weak and slow, but still there. She felt you breathing, but the rest of you was painfully still.
‘It’s all my fault.’
There was nothing she could tell Natalie. Or anyone, really. She caused this, unintentionally, but she did. If she never wished for more, if she never acted on how comfortable and safe you made her feel, none of this would have happened. Maybe everything really was her fault.
Maybe what she felt for you, deep down, pushed Jeff to cheat on her. If she paid more attention to Shauna, if she was a better friend, if she didn’t keep that photo from her birthday framed in her room, giving one excuse or another for why the photo with you was framed and out in the open… maybe then none of this would have happened to you.
‘It’s all my fault.’
For a moment she thought your breathing changed, but it was just her mind and hunger playing tricks on her.
Her whole life was built around roles that were meant for her, so how could she be so stupid to think that she could separate from those without any consequences.
Footsteps caught her attention and she looked up, half-expecting someone to pull you away from her, to agree with Natalie and take matters into their own hands.
A part of Jackie doubted she’d fight back if they did. She wasn’t going to give up on you, ever, as long as you were breathing. Yet she couldn’t shake off that horrible feeling that she had no right to hold you.
Yet, when she looked up, she saw Javi, standing by your feet. The boy hadn’t spoken since Doomcoming, so Jackie really had no idea what to expect.
Nothing could have prepared her for Javi taking the goggles you gave him off and leaning forward to give them to her. “Here,” he whispered, his voice hoarse from not talking for so long, and she heard Travis and Natalie gasping when they heard his voice.
“Thanks,” Jackie nodded, too consumed by guilt and grief to feel any relief over Javi talking again. Even if it was only one word, but she did notice Travis looking relieved. ‘Good for him,’ she thought, both genuinely and bitterly, the two contradicting emotions clashing in the same reaction. She put the goggles around your neck, covering the heart necklace from view.
The same thought still lingered, loud and unavoidable and breaking her into countless pieces, never to be put together again if she lost you like this. ‘It’s all my fault.’
~X~ SHAUNA ~X~ January 5th, 1997 ~X~
She was at the lake again, on that damn ice. “Don’t do it!” she cried out, yet her body moved anyway, pushing you no matter how hard Shauna struggled to change the outcome, at least in the dream.
And then you looked at her, that same terrified expression once again flashing across your face.
Shauna woke up with a gasp, sitting up and clinging to her stomach, to the baby in her, the one thing that seemed to give her protection of any kind right now.
She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling cold even though the blizzard was over. It hardly mattered, the cold lingered like the weight of the guilt she kept carrying.
She looked around, making sure everyone was asleep, even Jackie and Natalie. Especially Jackie. Shauna looked at you and Jackie, looking almost like you were merged together, that was how hard Jackie was clinging to you. She bit her lip, staring at the wet stains on Jackie’s cheeks.
Shauna doubted Jackie ever cried as much as she’s been crying since that day at the lake. And it made something vile and jealous squeeze Shauna’s heart yet again, that ugly feeling threatening to resurface.
Slowly, quietly, Shauna approached your still form. It looked so wrong, seeing you of all people completely still. You were always moving, always making it everyone else’s problem that you refused to rest properly. And now you were motionless, the shallow breathing serving as the only proof of life.
Damn, you were stubborn. For the first time since she met you, Shauna was grateful for that, because she wasn’t sure how to survive if you didn’t.
Fuck, she didn’t want your blood on her hands. And to think that one reckless, fury-driven moment might actually cause that. It was ridiculous and unfair. You survived everything, the Doomcoming, nearly drowning, the crash, so why did she have to be the one who you couldn’t survive?
Shauna hugged herself as she stared at you, noticing Jackie’s necklace around your neck, visible behind the glass of your goggles. And the more she looked at you, the more afraid she was. “I’m so sorry, please, just wake up,” she whispered, pleaded, begged, afraid of what would happen if you stopped breathing.
She’s had no peace since that day, even when she tried to ignore the guilt, even when she tried to excuse herself, at random moments the terror etched on your face would flash in front of Shauna’s eyes.
Maybe she could have ignored it if it was anyone else, but she looked at Jackie and her heart shattered. She wanted you out of Jackie’s life, but not like this. God, not like this.
“Please, just come back to her,” she whispered, and feeling like she was stepping too close to something she wasn’t allowed to be near, she went back to the corner of the cabin, settling down next to Melissa once more.
~X~ JACKIE ~X~
‘Please, just come back to her,’ she could have sworn she heard Shauna saying those words to you last night while she was asleep. Or rather drifting between half-conscious and restless sleep.
But that couldn’t be true.
That sounded too much like the Shauna she knew, too much like her Shauna and not whoever this new Shauna was. Not the wilderness Shauna. No, this new Shauna existed before that, and was the one who chose to sleep with Jeff, the one who would lie to Jackie’s face.
Or maybe Jackie was just lying to herself, trying to protect what little she could of those memories that were once precious to her. It barely worked.
She tried to move a bit, to make sure you were more comfortable, but she barely had the strength to move a bit further back against the wall. Her stomach didn’t even growl anymore. “Jackie, you have to drink,” Taissa came up to her with a mug filled with warm water.
She nodded, accepting just so she wouldn’t collapse as well. She took a few sips of water, hating that she could drink while you couldn’t. How much longer would your body be able to hold on without water? A day? Two? This was already the second day.
Van slowly approached as well, bringing the cleanest cloth and mug they had available. “Here, Akilah did everything she could to get it as clean as possible,” she muttered, struggling to look at you.
“Thanks, both of you,” Jackie said softly, dampening the cloth and twisting her body a bit so she could dab your lips with the damp cloth. Gently she tilted your head back and opened your mouth, careful not to hurt you as she followed Misty’s instructions. When she was done, she hugged you, clinging to you so she wouldn’t fall apart.
You still didn’t react, not even a bit, but you kept breathing.
A cracking sound made her flinch. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and began frantically looking around. “What was that?!” Melissa cried out, stepping closer to Shauna.
“Maybe a bird hit the cabin?” Mari guessed, though judging by the crack in her voice she didn’t quite believe that. And then there was another crack, louder, like wood was splitting open.
“It’s the snow! It’s too heavy!” Misty realized before anyone else could voice it, just as another crack made everyone jump.
Jackie’s heart hammered in her chest as she looked at you. Natalie rushed to your side, not even caring that Jackie was there. “We got to get out! Help me move Y/N!” she yelled, but no one moved.
“How are we going to get out?! All the doors and windows are blocked by snow!” Taissa yelled back, looking around in panic.
“Lottie! What’s going on? Is the Wilderness angry with us?” Van questioned, turning to Lottie who remained eerily calm despite the cracking continuing.
“It chooses,” Lottie said, like she was fine with whatever would happen.
“Well, what did It choose?!” Mari demanded.
“Does it even matter? We’re not making it out of here,” Britt spoke up for the first time, at least that Jackie was aware of, in two, maybe three days. The girl had been sitting in the corner, almost as unresponsive as you, only she was conscious.
“Don’t talk like that!” Robin berated her through tears.
“Please, not like this. God, please,” Akilah curled up on the floor, and Jackie finally noticed just how many people tried to be as small as physically possible, covering their heads while the cabin kept cracking under the weight of the snow.
Jackie looked at you again and pulled you closer, protecting your head with her body no matter how ridiculous and futile that would be if the roof fell on them.
The loudest crack yet resounded through the cabin and then there was a loud crash and the doors to the small bedroom snapped open, flying off the hinges as snow spilled into the cabin. Travis moved just in time, shielding Javi and taking the hit in the back.
Several girls screamed, some collapsed, others watched the ceiling like they waited for it too to collapse. But all they heard was snow sliding down from the bent roof.
Jackie felt lightheaded, her world spinning yet again, the dull buzzing in her ears temporarily became the only sound she was aware of.
Seconds felt like hours, yet they didn’t hear any new cracks, they only felt the cold, the merciless wind weakening the fire. But nothing collapsed on top of them.
“Is,” Shauna spoke up first. “Is it over?” she asked after excruciatingly long minute.
Lottie nodded, and just like that most of the girls turned to her, looking for a steady, calming presence. And Lottie gave it to them, either she was completely detached, or she felt like things would be fine, either way, on the surface those two things looked exactly the same to everyone else.
“Travis, are you okay?” Natalie rushed to Travis’ side, lifting his shirt and checking the spot where he was hit. “Does this hurt?” she asked, touching his lower back.
Travis winced a bit. “It’s just going to bruise, I think,” he said, reaching back to touch his aching back.
“Thanks,” Javi whispered, hugging him and immediately it looked like Travis’ pain vanished.
“As long as you’re safe,” he said gently, ruffling his brother’s hair.
Natalie let out a sigh of relief and then turned to the snow that spilled into the cabin. “We survived that, but we really need to take care of that,” she said, pointing at the snow.
“There’s no point, though,” Britt muttered even as Gen and Crystal went to get the shovels from the attic.
“Uh, guys, bad news,” Gen called out from the top of the ladder. “We lost the attic.”
The entire cabin went still, in one cruel instance the cabin that never even felt safe to begin with, just got more cramped and more difficult to warm up.
~X~ NATALIE ~X~ January 6th, 1997 ~X~
Her entire body ached, every muscle, every fiber of her being, screamed, begging for rest and any food as she lay on her blanket. Travis was behind her, spooning her, trying to keep her warm after last night. It helped a bit, comforted her, if nothing else. It didn’t fix the hunger and exhaustion.
Natalie looked to the side, barely turning her head to look at you. Your chest rose and fell under the blankets, still stubbornly clinging to life.
Travis, Javi and Ben put the door back on the hinges; and nailed it shut just to make sure it wouldn’t fall again so easily. Meanwhile, most of them, aside from Shauna, Jackie and, obviously you, began shoveling the snow away from the cabin, terrified of leaving the task until morning. So, regardless of how sluggish their movements were, regardless of how numb they all were, they kept going out in groups of three, two shoveling snow, one holding a lantern.
It took them so long, so damn long to get rid of the snow, at least on the porch. No one dared to step on the roof, fearing it would collapse under their feet. Yet they still slept, aware that staying awake wouldn’t change anything.
It was so cold not even the sunlight coming through the window helped. The fire felt useless, hours of shoveling, even split between them, let the cold enter their bodies down to the bones.
Natalie blinked a few times, looking at you. How were you even alive after all that? When she felt like dying might just be the easiest thing to do now. What even was the point anymore? The rescue wasn’t going to come. The winter was only getting worse. There was no food, nothing to sustain them.
“We’re going to die here,” she muttered, barely loud enough for Travis to hear her.
He didn’t argue, he just held her a bit tighter.
“Britt? Where are you going?” Robin suddenly asked, she sounded sleepy. Natalie didn’t pay attention to it, she didn’t pay attention to rummaging through a backpack either. If Britt had the energy to do anything, all the power to her.
“Come back here, it’s cold without you,” Robin whined, and then there was rustling of clothes, then it sounded like a jacket was dropped onto the floor.
“What’s she doing?” she heard Van asking as some lighter fabric hit the floor, and Natalie heard someone else reluctantly sitting up.
“Britt! Stop!” Mari tried to get up and instead stumbled forward a bit, catching herself on her hands and knees. “Stop!” she cred out, and Natalie finally sat up enough to look behind Travis and see what the fuss was all about.
She did it just in time to see Britt unzipping her jeans and stepping out of them. The path of layers of clothing from your backpack to the doors made Natalie’s blood run cold. “Holy shit, what the fuck are you doing?” she tried to get up, but got dizzy instead.
Britt actually chuckled, and then, chillingly, it turned into full blown laughter. Resigned, empty, laughter as she swayed, reaching the doors, barefooted and wearing nothing but her underwear. “It wants blood, doesn’t it?” she asked.
“Drop the gun!” Taissa cried out, scrambling to get out of the blankets with Van.
Natalie’s heart skipped a beat as she realized Britt was holding the revolver, still loaded with bullets.
Mari and Robin stumbled to their feet, rushing outside after Britt, begging, pleading for her to stop. Natalie got up, leaning most of her weight on Travis as he helped her go after Britt as well.
“Talk to us, please!” Shauna cried out.
“Lottie! Do something!” Melissa pleaded, turning to Lottie.
Lottie stumbled through the snow, following Mari and Robin, just as frantic as the others to stop this before it was too late.
But there was no stopping this. “Bye,” Britt said, turning to face them, and then she raised the gun.
The gunshot echoed throughout the forest. Britt’s body fell onto the snow, red staining it as Mari and Robin stepped back in horror, feeling the warmth of drops of blood on their skin.
Natalie stood there, trembling in Travis’ arms. She didn’t even have it in her to scream. And judging by how the others simply collapsed to their knees or fell back, unable to keep standing, judging by the silence all around them, no one had strength to react in any other way.
In one week this place had broken them more than it did in months. Abruptly, without any warning, turning them into nothing but shells, too hollowed out to even grieve a teammate.
A/N: Well... tell me what you thought about this chapter.
[Image ID: Outline of a humanoid head with speech bubble. Inside the head is the text “this character fascinates me and i think there's merit in discussing how she would regress, what hurdles she'd face, and what kind of catharsis she'd receive in the process.” Inside the speech bubble is “i need to make her cry.” /end ID]
Ok. Just got back from the Odyssey and my fiancee really liked it, but I ended up listing everything I thought it was wrong in it for half an hour after it. And I feel that tomorrow I'll have matured some thoughts and have even more complaints.
You were right tho. Good movie. Not a good adaptation.
Yeah, I wish I could say I got stuck giving my brother a ride home, but it was more like he got stuck in the car with me because I just complained the entire drive. But @uncleasad was the real one who got stuck getting my entire rant last night.
That being said, there were things I did like. There were things I was surprised and happy they included. I just think the things that were left out were pretty major things to leave out.
I think Nolan wanted to tell a more realist war type movie and I just think The Odyssey is the wrong story to adapt for such a thing.
But as a movie it was good! One of my biggest worries casting wise was Tom Holland and he was actually probably one of my favorite parts!
Tags ✢ post-Dance, grief/mourning, arranged marriage/political marriage, enemies to lovers, falling in love, eventual romance, eventual smut, angst with a happy ending
Wordcount ✢ 3,360
Summary ✢ Jacaerys is crowned king as his mother perishes from her wounds shortly after retaking the Iron Throne. He makes a match with you, the last daughter of King Viserys and Alicent Hightower, to secure peace and rebuild the Targaryen dynasty.
Series Masterlist
Chapter Three ✢ We Light the Way
Night frost was still clinging to the windows and hindering the hinges of the doors when the young Lord Lyonel Hightower crossed the gates of the Red Keep atop his horse. He had left the inn on his last rest before reaching the capital early in the morning, and arrived before midday had risen in the sky, although the sun could barely pierce through the thick white clouds.
Snow was expected any day now, and he had written to you from the Roseroad to say he hoped his business in the capital would not take too long, so that he might return before the storms came from the Northern lands.
You were waiting for him on the balcony overlooking the inner courtyard when he crossed it in decided strides, his green cape floating behind him with a flourish. Your gazes met as you turned towards the staircase to meet him, and your heart picked up.
Nearly half a year had passed since you had set eyes on him—the last time you had seen him, he had been no more than a boy clutching the skirts of his step-mother, and now he was a young man at the head of a powerful house with powerful armies.
“Cousin,” Lyonel greeted as though you both remained unchanged since your parting, and embraced you like a sister.
“It is good to see you, cousin,” you replied, clutching him tighter for a moment, before releasing him.
As you stepped away, you noticed his eyes were raised to the staircase behind you, and as you turned to follow his line of sight, found Jacaerys standing at the very top of it. He was dressed in different clothes than you had seen on him so far. When he usually wore black these days, save for the lining of his cape, he now wore a crimson cloak draped over one shoulder, the crown of Jaehaerys sitting neatly atop his curls.
“Lord Hightower,” he called, making his way down slowly, content to make his guest wait at the bottom of the stairs. Two kingsguards were escorting him, right wrists resting loosely on the pommel of their swords. Lyonel said nothing in return, but you felt him tense beside you.
As Jacaerys came to face the new lord of the Hightower, he was stricken with how youthful of appearance he was—he was still very much a boy, barely two years younger than himself and yet appearing more juvenile. He looked very much like a Hightower, with bright red hair and light eyes, and the arrogant attitude that came with his father’s reputation.
“It is good of you to answer my call,” Jacaerys added when it became apparent he was not going to receive a formal greeting.
“I admit my surprise when on the way to the capital, we learned that my cousin had been crowned as queen,” Lyonel then said, crossing his arms. “I will be blunt, I am only here to see her.”
“The war is lost and over, Lyonel, let us keep the peace,” you placated, a hand on his arm, and he relented, following without a word when Jacaerys led him to the Council Room, and took the seat he was pointed to, across from the Hand’s chair where you sat.
Jacaerys saw Lyonel’s eyebrows raise when he then spoke, no doubt surprised at the subject he chose to address first. “It is my understanding that you’ve petitioned the High Septon to authorize you to marry your father’s widow,” Jacaerys said.
“Indeed,” Lyonel said, frowning.
“It is an unusual request,” he commented, and it was obvious Lyonel wanted to laugh in his face.
“I doubt a Targaryen would find it so strange as to notice it,” he said with an unpleasant sneer, and it took Jacaerys a second to understand there was a second meaning to his answer, which he chose to ignore. It had been his understanding that Lord Ormund had been a pious man, deeply motivated by his faith, and he did not know what to make of such a proclivity in the son.
“I was also told it was refused,” Jace continued, and Lyonel’s mood soured visibly.
“Which is disappointing, as the union has already been consummated,” Lyonel replied, crossing his legs at the knee and leaning back into his chair. “Lady Sam is with child.”
Your eyes widened at the news and you swallowed uncomfortably, but Jacaerys remained impassible, his face smooth as marble, his eyes fixed on Lyonel. “I might be able to convince the Septon,” he said calmly, as though none of the situation troubled him.
“And if you were not?” Lyonel pressed back.
“I would legitimize any child you would have with her,” he answered without a second thought.
Lyonel seemed to consider the proposal for a while. “Lady Sam advised me to come, she thought you might be sympathetic to our cause,” Lyonel admitted. “What would you ask of me in return?”
Jacaerys glanced at you then, a silent assent. “We ask that you disband your banners,” you requested, crossing your hands atop the table. “Some of your garrisons are still stationed along the Roseroad and the Mander, causing tension.”
Lyonel had a strange look in his eyes as he looked upon you, then glanced at Jacaerys suspiciously before he turned his gaze back to you again. “They have been waiting on my orders, no more,” he defended, uncrossing his legs so he could lean forward.
“We ask that you send your men home, and make a declaration of peace,” Jacaerys intervened.
Lyonel’s face darkened then, and Jacaerys thought he saw something familiar in the set of his jaw and the line of his brow—an authoritarian look he had seen many times on the face of his grandsire’s Hand.
“While your husband plays a pleasant tune, and my wife encourages me to fall into rank, I need to know, can I trust his word, my queen?” he asked, and Jace noticed something unspoken passing between the two of you, an understanding stemming from years as children together, raised under the same roof.
You swallowed but nodded. “The king has not broken any of the promises he’s made me so far.”
Lyonel stood then, sharply, forcing Jacaerys to mirror him. “Consider it done,” he said, but before Jace could reply, laid out his terms. “On the condition that my cousin is safe and treated properly. Let one thing be clear, Jacaerys, is that House Hightower is not loyal to you, but to our queen. One word from her, and we shall declare against you.”
Jacaerys extended his hand despite the threat. “I expected no less,” he said, gritting his teeth when Lyonel reciprocated, his grip unnecessarily tight on his wrist as they sealed their words—for the time being.
Jeyne Arryn made it to the capital a mere few days following Lord Lyonel’s arrival, and she immediately regretted that Jacaerys received him personally, without waiting for her counsel.
She faced the same slight displeasure from the men of the Small Council, no doubt slighted that none of them were chosen as Hand, and instead would have to take orders from a woman. Jacaerys supposed that endorsing the rightful queen was one thing, but obeying a woman chosen among other candidates was another entirely.
Still, Lady Jeyne took it in stride, and did not wait to be settled in the Hand’s Tower to take over the Small Council meetings and surveying what had been done so far. “Do you believe Lord Hightower to be trustworthy?” she inquired at supper the first night, after Jacaerys had recounted the meeting to her.
Jacaerys had chosen to host her in one of the dining halls instead of his own quarters, wary of allowing anyone in his quarters these days. He had started to wonder if he might also requisition one of the empty royal bedchambers to move his desk into, loathing the sight of it as he laid in bed, reminded at every second of the sheer scale of the work that awaited him.
“No, but he needs something from me and his wife apparently endorsed my mother,” he replied, to which Jeyne gave a surprised hum, spearing a braised plum on her fork. “Furthermore, he will not go against the queen’s direct order.”
“His loyalty is with her, then,” Jeyne concluded, then seemed to think on the issue for a moment. Across from her at the table, Cregan Stark was observing her with interest, seemingly pleased in what he was seeing in her. After a while of silent contemplating, she spoke again. “The Hightowers are vassals of House Tyrell, and while their lord is a babe, I heard the regent Lady Margaery is a sensible woman.”
“Do you mean to order the Tyrells to settle their banners?” Jacaerys inquired.
Cregan set his knife down at the suggestion. “She was not impressed by dragons in her lands, she refused to declare all throughout the war, I doubt forcing her hand is the way to treat with her.”
Jeyne did not smile nor frown, simply continued to cut into the sweet, caramelized fruit being served with the braised meat. “I shall write to her, woman to woman, and to Lady Sam as well,” she said, her voice as even as always. “We cannot trust Lord Lyonel’s word alone.”
Jacaerys was slightly reassured by the prospect, but his worries resurfaced when Cregan cleared his throat and addressed him. “Your grace, I could not help but notice that you gave leeway to the queen to socialize with her cousin, unsupervised,” he said carefully, and Jeyne tilted her head at the comment.
“I would not trust the queen to that extent,” she immediately replied.
A bright flare of irritation burst behind Jace’s breastbone, and he pushed his plate aside, his appetite soured. “It was the council’s idea that I wed her and now you tell me to be wary of my own wife?”
Cregan frowned at the display of temper, but Jacaerys supposed he was used to it by now. “She is a Hightower. She was raised by Lord Hobert and then Lord Ormund,” he replied, keeping his voice calm but firm. “Lyonel is more of a brother to her than Aegon or Aemond ever were.”
Jacaerys rose from the table then, startling the young page that had been waiting on him with a pitcher of fresh, dark wine ready to be served. “Out,” he snapped to the boy, who obeyed and scurried out, closing the door behind him. Pacing the room under the attentive eyes of his councillors, Jacaerys struggled to keep his temper at bay. “Do you think she would so easily betray me? Why encourage me to take a queen you know you cannot trust?”
Cregan rose as well then, while Jeyne kept to her seat, swirling her cup of wine slowly. At her feet, one of her lanky dogs crossed its paws and huffed as though it could understand the topic being discussed.
As he had done many times over, Cregan came to him and soothed his frustrated pacing with a hand to the shoulder, and Jace nearly regretted how disagreeable he had been then. “Trust is to be earned, your grace, and she will earn it by doing her duty,” he explained. “The sooner she bears you a child, the better.”
Jacaerys looked aside then, removing his hand with a sharp shrug of his shoulder. “I am aware of that,” he said in a tone that suggested no further comment would be tolerated, and Cregan took a step back in subtle deference. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Lady Jeyne, I shall see to my brothers,” he said before making his way towards the door, leaving his new Hand and his most trusted sword alone.
Alicent was already dressed for the night when you came to visit her that night, sharing a cup of tea as had become your ritual when you did, sharing wisdom in the quiet hours of the evening, when the troubles of the day kept you from settling.
“I have not been allowed to meet with Lyonel,” Alicent lamented as she tightened the belt of her night robe before sitting down across from you, the steaming tea between you on the small table. “He was a babe the last time I saw him and now he rules our house.”
You replied nothing to her lament, instead asked the question that had plagued you since Lyonel’s arrival and your discussions in the garden, reminiscing of your childhood, and in which memory your cousin had promised to raise his army if you so wished, uncaring for the pact he had made with Jacaerys.
“Why did you send me to ward with the Hightowers?” you inquired, and your mother looked sad then.
“I bore the king three Targaryen children,” she explained, and in those words you could feel the weight of decades of selfless service to the crown. “I wanted you, my last, to be a Hightower.”
“Well I am not. Lord Hobert was kind and I bless his memory, but Ormund never let me forget that my blood was tainted, that I would only be worthy of the Hightower name if I dedicated myself to the faith,” you replied, feeling now familiar frustration rise in you. It was your constant companion these days, and you could not determine the root of it so you might tear it from the ground and burn it.
Alicent seemed remorseful then, but you had no use of cold regrets. “I spent a decade praying for forgiveness, forced to reject my own blood until I was called to make use of it again,” you continued, remembering the letter Lyonel had received, ordering him to send you back to your king. “I am not a Targaryen but I am not a Hightower either. I don’t know that I belong anywhere.”
Alicent reached across the table to take your hands into hers. “You are a Hightower, by temperament and by upbringing, but also by blood. You are my daughter,” she assured you. “And now you are the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.”
“Am I?” you murmured, looking down at your knees. You hesitated to confess the truth of your position, but in the end, you allowed the truth to escape you. “The marriage is unconsummated.”
The cooling tea was definitely forgotten then, Alicent now more awake and incensed than she had been a minute ago. She shook her head, sighing in despair. “You cannot allow it to remain as such. As long as you are not married to the king, our position remains fragile,” she explained, even though she did not need to. “As long as he has not bedded you, he can replace you in an instant.”
“I am aware of that, mother,” you protested.
“Then you must go to him now,” Alicent urged you, rising and pulling you along, leading you towards the door. You looked aside when your mother reached for your robe, undoing the first few clasps and pulling the collar of your nightgown further down on your chest. “The sooner you give him a boy, the sooner you will obtain what it is you seek.”
You wanted to protest that what you sought did not rest in the hands of a husband you had not chosen, but you knew your laments would fall into deaf ears. Instead you nodded, compliant as you had been taught, and walked out into the cold hallway, following your memory without conscious thought until you came upon the king’s quarters.
However, your endeavor was stopped by the kingsguard that stood at attention in front of the heavy doors. “The king is not in his quarters, my queen,” the man said.
“Where is he, then?” you asked. So preoccupied by the matter at hand, you instantly thought of him in the arms of another—you had heard the rumors regarding his affection for his cousin Lady Baela—betraying you as you had feared the first night of your marriage.
While he had assured you of his intent to keep you as his queen, you wondered if perhaps it was a facade to appease the Hightowers for the time being, and now that he had their allegiance, although fragile, he would cast you away.
The guard was quick to soothe your sudden worries. “The king is in the nursery, your grace,” he said, pointing to the room across the hallway.
Slightly curious, you thanked him and made your way to the children’s quarters, from which a bright light was coming, spilling into the hallway. For a morbid second you wondered whether it was the room your nephew had lost his life in, but the question was chased away from your mind when you entered and took in the sight that awaited.
Jacaerys was sitting at the foot of a large bed where two boys were huddled together, their little heads resting side by side on the pillow, their white hair sticking into odd spikes, still wet from a bath. The king held a closed book on his lap, and while you could not see his face, you could see in the downturn line of his shoulders that he was not in a cheerful mood.
“I know that I am not your father, and that I will never replace him,” he was telling the children, his voice thick with emotion. “As I will never replace our mother, but I will do my best by you.”
The older-looking boy glanced over his brother’s shoulder then, and Jacaerys turned, catching you before you could step back into the hallway. “Forgive me, I did not mean to interrupt,” you defended yourself immediately, but instead of anger, it was exhaustion that spread over his face.
“Stay,” he said, twisting to glance at the other side of the room. Across from the boys’ bed, Jaehaera slept in her own crib. The nurse that sat with her rose when you approached, and you took her place, sitting in the rocking chair. The little girl was deep into slumber, clutching a doll made of cloth and an embroidered blanket—at first glance you thought they were flowers, but upon closer inspection, you noticed they were butterflies.
“She’s my niece and yet I am a stranger to her,” you commented, unsure why you were saying this out loud, to Jacaerys of all people.
Nonetheless, he seemed touched by your confession, and in the soft light of the nursery, you found he looked quite different than you had ever seen him—gone was the arrogant, self-assured young king who had met with your cousin. Instead he looked years older than his years, and weary beyond them.
“Would you like to raise her?” he offered. “There has been talk of sending her to ward with Lord Lyonel, but I would keep her here, with you, if that is what you wished.”
“Perhaps I should,” you answered, aware that it was not an answer.
For a while the both of you remained silent, looking upon the children the war had spared, and the utter devastation of it seemed to dawn on you. Orphans, they were, their respective parents dead in the pursuit of the throne, and once again you thought there was no justice to the whims of the Gods, leaving babes without mother nor father, left to carry a legacy of bloodshed and kinslaying.
When Jacaerys spoke again, it was as though the words came straight from your heart. “I am aware that our marriage is based on hatred, but the children are innocent in all this. May we leave the quarrels of the past behind, when it comes to them?” he asked. “They need serenity after what they’ve been witness to.”
There was only one thing you could answer then. “Of course.”
After that Jacaerys spoke to you no more, instead turning back to his Aegon and Viserys, and the book he was holding, opening it on his lap and letting the large pages fall on either side of his legs. You nearly started when he started to read what you supposed to be High Valyrian, and you suffered that you could not understand a word of it.
Author's Note ✢ Dividers by @zaldritzosrose. Chapter four will be posted in two weeks, on August 1st.
Series taglist ✢ @chaotichereticcavern @galactict3a @qtmoonies @multyfangirl @obsidian-gold1239
I avoided spoilers surprisingly well for the most part for the last year.
I've read all the other books. I've seen all the movies. I saw all the posts about how devastating the books is. Saw all the "we thought we knew what happened, but we weren't ready".
Knew all this going in. I thought I was ready. I was not. The moment Haymitch, Maysilee, Wyatt, and Louella first interacted, I knew I wasn't ready.
I read the book in preparation for the movie. Thought it would get me ready. I am even less ready now...
Anyway, I'm conflicted. Because I'm mad. As much as I saw this book being talked about and then the movie being talked about, I never saw anyone mentioning how amazing Maysilee Donner is. That being said it was also a really pleasant surprise to learn this on my own.
I love Haymitch, he's great. Love Katniss, and Peeta, and Finnick, and Johanna, and so many others. They're all great. But Mayilee easily became my favorite character of the franchise.
I knew it was coming. The entire book I knew it was coming. I wasn't ready. I'm still not over it. And I am so not ready to see happen come November!
vaporwave
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