release the panic

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[undauntedxspirit]

//realizing I don’t and can’t follow my most important person on here anymore. no matter if they actually use their blog anymore. It was always important to me to just come here and read of what we had.

[jacnaylor]

[undauntedxspirit]

// still missing wiritng her. especially recently.

[undauntedxspirit]

;ooc

Please don’t worry. I did get the asks. And I will get to them - in time. But I will :D

[undauntedxspirit]

“You’re a terrible cook.”

Four Word . Prompts

          She doesn’t reply for a moment and just stares at the plate whith what was supposed to be lunch but had endet up as… goo…? Then she slowly puts down her fork and grabs the napkin to spit out what’s in her mouth. He’s fucking right. This is disgusting.

          ❝Yah, I know. People usually wnder how I made it this far without dying of food poisoning.❞ Ella’s past that point where she cares or is embarrased of her lack in cooking skills. as long as it’s not about burgers. Here she knows that she’s good, 

[synthmama]

kilgravesjessica:

Four Word . Prompts

“Please, come with me.”

“You’re always number one.”

“I can’t do this.”

“I won’t let you.”

“Maybe I’m just crazy.”

“I’m not even sorry.”

“Honestly, just stop it.”

“I believe in you.”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“Who were you with?”

“Please talk to me.”

“I can’t trust you.”

“I need you, though.”

“Don’t be fucking rude.”

“Is that my shirt?”

“So, it was you.”

“I need to go.”

“Just stay with me.”

“You can trust me.”

“Alright, I love you.”

“I’m sorry, but no.”

“Will you help me?”

“You’re a terrible cook.”

“Can you shut up!?”

“You love me, right?”

“I really need you.”

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“I really need you.”

“You don’t want me.”

“Let me help you.”

“You’re such a bitch.”

“I can’t do this.”

“You think you’re funny?”

“Hey, I said stop!”

“Will you marry me?”

“Wanna go out sometime?”

“I don’t want this.”

“You always this quiet?”

“Are you fucking insane!?”

“I don’t want you.”

“I’m not wearing that.”

“Sorry, were you sleeping?”

“This was never right.”

“You look really tired.”

“I’m out of here.”

“You need to go.”

[shepardsloyalty-blog]

@undauntedxspirit

The forms were all settled, and still not a word had been spoken to Ella. That was about to change. Hopefully she would take it well. Eamon cleared his throat as he came into the room, a thick envelope in hand. “Got a minute?”

[undauntedxspirit]

          She was almost startled by the sudden sound he made, so deep she in thoughts had been, staring at the news flickering on the screen on the wall, without actually looking at it or even listening.           Ella shook her head for a moment before sche turned it towards the man entering the room. ❝ Hey, sure. What’s up? ❞ Something on his face told her this was important and not just a courtesy visit. 

[undauntedxspirit]

I picked up my new kitten. He’s no name yet, though I’m ponderin over Mass Effect name... He’s about 11 weeks old and I hope he and will become good friends.

[fehlheart-a-blog]

                    the situation is  fucked.   he wants to say more,  give her a reason to neatly tuck away all the doubt  &  fear they feel in this moment,  but he can’t.  he lacks the eloquence  &  the will.  every time something positive manifests in their lives,  something even more horrific strangles the life out of their joy  &  tears it from grasping,  bleeding  fingers.  up until a year ago,  james was so sure he knew what he wanted.  until this woman  —  this brilliant,  beautiful,  strong,  ass-kicking woman turned his life upside down.  he can’t blame her.  he   WON’T.   she is  RIGHT  &  there is no way around it. 

          pulling her into him,  massive arms wrap around ella’s shoulders,  leaving some slack for her to maneuver.  his cheek rests against her head as he soothingly rubs her upper back.          ❛ it’s alright,  lola.  i’m not worried.  not  ‘bout this.  YOU  are my priority.  that’s  IT.  we make it outta this,  i’m sure we’ll have another chance to  talk  about it.  but right now  —  it’s just you  &  me.  okay? ❜

[undauntedxspirit]

          It’s good to feel him holding her. Despite being famous Commander Shepard there is an end of the pressure a person can manage to withstand. and he is, probably without knowing it, the one one who keeps more pressure being added. He shields her, gives her room to breathe.  Despite the thoughts she had only a moment ago. 

          It’s not always easy for them, their whole fucked-up lifes where nothing but difficult. Neither of them had ever faced anything that worked out the easy way. Not even their relationship. It had been a bumpy ride from the beginning. But as everything Ella had worked for and achieved in the end: it was worth it. He was worth it. The dream of them having a life together after all of this is over. And his arms around her, his head on hers and his encouraging words make sure she knows he is as much in this as she is: Until the very end. 

                    ❝ Yah, ❞ she just says for a moment.  ❝ Just you and me fighting the good fights it seems. Always looking for a new challenge to make it just a bit harder to win or at least get the upper hand. ❞ Ella knows this sounds bitter but it’s that both of them are thinking and a bit of gallows humor hadn’t hurt anyone.

[fehlheart-a-blog]

                    understanding spreads like wildfire in his otherwise playful expression.  her sigh tugs on muscle chords he didn’t know existed.  even in making this decision  together,  he understands the necessity of the end result.     ( this simply cannot continue. ) 

          ❛ it will be, ❜          he whispers,  his tone wholly void of doubt  &  hesitation  —  that which he keeps under lock  &  key for the sake of their survival.  the hand still lingering near her chin opens up as his palm gently glides over her cheek.          ❛ c’mere, ❜          he softly beseeches,  the desire to have her nearer overwhelming him. 

[undauntedxspirit]

          Ella hates the fact she has to mention it over and over again. But no matter how hard she tries it’s constantly on her mind. what it means and if there’S another way -- one that would hurt less. Especially James. Of course he understands and would never expect her to take any risks... but still. Ella can’t shake the feelig that this is like a nightmare for him. And can’t stop feel guilty about it.

     There it is. Without wanting it he lets her feel even more guilty.  ❝ I wish things were different, James. ❞ She never had wished to have children, but not being stuck in the end times war for more than a year now she might have given this a second thought. But now? It made her a liabilty. and the whole Galaxy expected her to end this war and she NEEDS to be reliable.  ❝ We’ll get another chance, ❞ she whispers as she follows his wish and moves closer to him leaning against him, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

[backxtalkcd-deactivated20161202]

A soft short hum of thought leaves her as she lowers their hands, only intertwine their fingers. Yara mimicked Ella by shaking her head as well.

“No, I won’t. Not even if you begged me to. But, I will promise to do my job the best I know how and hopefully only come back to you with bruises and a few scratches.”

She would never make a promise like that. It would be empty and filled with the possibility of heartbreak down the line. A heartbreak that neither one of them wanted.

“No, it doesn’t. It sounds like a worried girlfriend who forgot for a split second what kind of work we both do. That’s all.”

[undauntedxspirit]

          Ella’s relieved. Yara knows her well enough to know that this is probably more reassuring than anything else. The truth. Ella knows that Yara can’t do anything else than trying to be the best. Which is why she is still alive -- and has good chances to keep it that way. But she doesn’t say anythign aloud, she just sqeezes her lovers hand gently for a moment, before she has to grin after Yara’s reply to her question.

          She reaches out, her free hand on th eback of Yara’s head and pulls her closer, placing a featherly kiss on her cheekbone.

           ❝ I am worried. All of the fucking time. ❞

[fehlheart-a-blog]

                    a subtle,  only-for-her  smile plays on his lips as he nudges her with his elbow.     ❛ s’alright.  i can make a mean  espresso,  too, ❜     he chuckles lightly,  head canting as he looks her over.             the exhaustion is evident only to those who know the commander better than a mere glance.  james  —  he’s had  WAY MORE  than that.  &  so he reaches up with curled digits,  simply grazing her jawline,  dragging calloused fingertips down to her chin.     ❛ que te pasa,  lola? ❜     he whispers,  daring to inch closer,  cautious of wandering eyes.     ( not that anyone had any objections. )

[undauntedxspirit]

           ❝ That’s much better. ❞ One moment a tired grin is on her face and the next she can barely hold back a deep sigh.

     For a short moment she leans into his touch and relishes on the feeling his fingers leave on her skin. Giving her the feeling that this alone is what keeps her togehter at times.  ❝ It needs to be over soon. ❞ They both know that not only the war, which goes on for what feels like an eternity, but on to also her pregnancy (something else that needs to end - and that both know she is talking about as well) does take its toll on this normally so strong woman. In the end she still is just human. 

[backxtalkcd-deactivated20161202]

Yara doesn’t stop the smile overtaking her face as Ella talks, only moving to flap hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, no brute could win me over.” She can hear the worry and concern on the other. 

As a sign of reassurance that she was indeed fine, she went Ella’s side, slowly took one of her hands, and just rested it against the bruised skin. “It looks bad but, it doesn’t hurt, I promise.”

[undauntedxspirit]

     Ella looks at her and curls her fingers around Yara’s as soon as she feels them on her skin.

           ❝ I don’t want you to make stupid promises but to be carefull.. ❞

     And the next moment she has to shake her head, because beeing careful is not part of their job and they both know that. And the last thing she wants them to do is to start telling the other one lies just to make them feel better.

             ❝ Does this really sound as ridiculous and possessive as it does to me? ❞

[fehlheart-a-blog]

undauntedxspirit

                    ❛ i know,  lola, ❜     he shrugs,  defeated.  it isn’t a question of what they’re willing to sacrifice.  it’s about what is   ABSOLUTELY  NECESSARY.     ❛ just thinkin’ out loud, is all.  nice cup of   cafe con leche.   enjoyin’ a sunrise on the beach.  DAMN.  the BEACH. ❜      a sigh tumbles form scarred lips,  eyes averted in silent recollection of his home.      ❛ we gotta head to   MY   side of Earth when we take it back.  i’ll show you   la playa   like you’ve never seen before. ❜

[undauntedxspirit]

            ❝ You can keep all the ‘leche’ for yourself, ❞ she tells him with lifted brows and half a grin.  ❝ But I’m all in for some vacation. lying around, doing nothing and not barking comands. And no fucking armor and food restrictions due to limited supplies. ❞

     something she doesn’t talk too much about: she’s tired. James can probably see it. The wrinkles around her eyes, the shadows under them growing darker and her normally golden skin looking pale. She’s about to invest everything; knowing that she has to because everyone is looking in her direction waiting for her to do something.

[undauntedxspirit]

;ooc; 

God, I’m so done after this soccer match...

[undauntedxspirit]

armsxmaster:

                    ❛ y’know,  i would   ALMOST   kill for some  real  coffee right ‘bout now. ❜

@undauntedxspirit

@armsxmaster 

         ❝ To be honest, I can’t even remember what real coffee tastes like. ❞ 

she offers him a grin. 

          ❝ Though I wouldn’t waste our limited ammo for it. You of all people              should know just how limited we are right now. ❞

[undauntedxspirit]

Ooc; I'm staring at this blog for quite some time now and can't stop thinking that I miss being here but wouldn't know how to start again.