A/N: the reader vigilante name is Ego (messing with people heads, but not like a metahuman, she just has natural psychological talents). Previously named Cheshire (I realised that there already was a character named like that a bit too late and had to fix it - Ego is the story about it)
Other parts of this verse: Cheshire cat, That damn gala, Five years later, Tired, Benched (not necesarilly in that order, but Five years later is previous to Tired)
***
I was so, so, soooo tired my eyes were simply closing themselves without any involvement from my part.
I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Guess it had something to do with my broken and casted right leg. According to the doctor it's been healnng perfectly and the aching and itching that prevented my night rest was the first example of it. Maybe, but I still hated it. Over six weeks ago I had an accident during patrolling. Silly, rookie mistake got me falling down and before I was able to regain my balance I found myself lower.
Three floors lower.
It was a miracle I only ended up with broken leg. I mean, a little bit more impact and I would end up with damaged spinal cord, paralyzed for life, unable to move a single muscle from the neck down. However, at the moment everyone who were fighting besides me held their breaths.
6 weeks ago
“EGO!” I heard Oracle yell through the comm. Honestly, her voice would bring the dead from behind the grave.
“Damn it!” Dick hissed and without any hesitation ditched his opponent and rushed to check up on me, doubling on my pain and guilt. I screwed up and now, the team was paying the price. Nonetheless he did not seem to care when he landed next to me in his swiftly, acrobat-like way.
“Stop showing off” I rolled my eyes, grabbing the leg “It’s not that kind of circus.”
“One thing for sure, your tongue wasn’t damaged during the fall. Where does it hurt?”
“Knee.”
“Show me.”
“It’s not that bad….” I tried to move away from his hands and it made me squeal in pain.
“Y/N.”
“Red card, Nightwing. You broke the “no real names” rule of Batman. You’re off the field.”
“Stop it.” He said, so calmly that it really did make me hold back my words. “Let me help you.”
“Ok.” I muttered looking down, letting him check on my limb.
“I don’t think it’s broken, but anyway, I need to get you out of here. It’s dangerous for you to stay any more than necessary. Anyone could get to you in this weakened state.”
“That’s the sentence I haven’t heard …. ever I think. Up till now, it was hazardous for criminals to meet me, not the other way round.”
“There’s a first time for anything, I guess” he shrugged. Oh, how I hoped Oracle got that on her record. I was so going to use his own words against him in the future “can you try to help me lift you up?”
“Sure. I think” I leaned onto the left, unharmed leg, that was supposed to bear my weight, but the second Dick held his hands towards me to support my efforts, we both heard a loud snap and I couldn’t hold back a cry of pain. If it wasn’t for Dick I would fall again and as an addition to the leg injury would also get some bruises and cuts on the face. “FUCK! I think it’s broken now.”
“Both of you are getting home. Immediately. You better get her here without any more bodily harm or we will have to deal not only with disappointed Bruce, but also with enraged Jason.”
***
“I’m sorry Dick. I really am.” Half an hour later I was sitting on the examination couch, my leg splayed in front of me, while Babs was scanning it and using all of her cutting-edge tech to assess the injury.
“Could you just stop it? WE missed a chance, not the first time and definitely not the last one. This guy we were chasing tonight were not even that important and we will get to him this week, I’m sure of it. You just made a mistake, which frankly speaking wasn’t even yours.”
“What?” I shifted a bit to face him and the change in angle made me gasp in sudden piercing pain.
“Don’t move!” Babs hissed and I smiled apologetically, my eyes still on Dick.
“What do you mean it wasn’t my mistake?”
“I had it all calculated, you know. He was going for that punch, you were in perfect distance so you could get to him, but when I took a swing he used this as a leverage to turn and push you with right hand, not the left I was aiming at.”
“Thanks for the clarification, Dick. But I still take a bit of the blame. After all I was the one who slipped a bit. Damn those shoes need fixing.”
“You won’t be needing them for a while, Y/N” Babs muttered “you have a disjointed kneecap and a fracture in your shinbone.”
“Shit.” I rubbed my forehead in frustration. “How long?”
“Tim has better experience in the medical field, but …..”
“I can’t believe you just said that out loud, Babs” Dick couldn’t help but let out a laugh and met with our angered gaze “Sorry girls, but this is funny…. Isn’t it….? Ok, all right! Stop giving me this murderous look of yours! I surrender!”
“I think you’ll be excluded for something around 6 weeks.”
“6 weeks?! Can I get a second opinion?”
“From Tim?”
“Will do. Hope he, Damian and Bruce had more effective patrol in their part of Gotham. ….. Wait, you didn’t tell them what happened, did you?”
“Of course not.” Barbara scoffed and fixed the strand of hair that was falling in her eyes. “But I’m pretty sure they already know.”
“How?”
“Um….”
“Babs!?”
“I might have used the open channel while talking to you…..”
“So, everyone knows?” Dick jumped from his chair and came closer to us “like… the entire family ?”
“ I’m afraid so.”
“You know what guys? It makes me feel so much better that you two make rookie mistakes as well.” For the first time this night I grinned happily.
***
“It was a simple task. In and out. No obstacles. No complications. No intruders.” Bruce with his most stern expression was haranguing us, like we were some newbies in the vigilante business. Like he never did anything wrong while fighting. I mean, I’m sorry, let me recall this statement. Of course, he never made any mistake. He was the Batman. “Could you tell me, what went down there, that now one of you is about to be put in the cast and the other is pacing around my cave?”
“Sorry, Bruce, I’m just overly excited because of the fact Y/N won’t be able to run away from my surprise hugs for a while” Dick grinned and his statement made me curse under my nose.
“What happened there? And focus on the facts.” Bruce sighed and his face dropped a bit.
“I’m not really sure.” I tapped my chin “What do you think, Dick? What happened there?”
“I thought you hurt your leg, not your brain?”
“Side effect, I suppose.”
“That’s a shame.”
“I’m just giving you the opportunity to come up with a reliable story before Jay gets here and tear the batcave down in his fit of anger.”
“Fair point.” Dick nodded “how about this: a ninja came out of nowhere…..”
“A ninja?” both me and Bruce asked in unison, his voice desperate, mine incredulous of his idea.
“What? I hate ninjas.” Dick shrugged
“We know.” we both retorted together once again.
“I’ll just tell him I ditched you on the field and tripped while returning to the manor. I like this rebellious strike this story gives me. You know, that whole I don’t give a fuck attitude.” I chimed in before Dick could develop his idea further.
“Oh, he will never believe that you left me alone.”
“And why exactly not?”
“’Cause everyone knows you have a soft spot for me, Y/n. You wouldn’t endanger my health and life this way. It’s simply improbable.” His smile was so ridiculously confident it made me question my sanity.
“In your dreams, Grayson. “
***
With some help I was transported to my room, while I had to wait for the family doctor, Jonah Hill to come and put me in the cast. The thought of being benched for so long made me feel like vomiting. Up to that I was still wondering why the hell all the Waynes, including Cass and Steph were now back from the patrol and the person I needed most was out of reach. It made me worried and spinning into belief something might have happened to him. Luckily, Tim was there to keep me company.
“How are you doing, Ego?”
“I’m about to be crippled, can you imagine?” I rolled my eyes and Tim pursed his lips “Sorry, Tim, I didn’t mean to be harsh. I need to switch the mode from the one tuned onto your older brothers to the one tuned on you.”
“How is that different?” he asked sitting on the edge of the bed.
“With Dick, it sometimes feels like he see the little girl in me and I have to prove that I’m a grown up, capable of handling myself. With Jason, you know, we tease each other, we bicker and spite but it’s just a common sense of dark humor we both understand and that brings us closer. With you, I can be more sensitive, withdraw for a while without thinking I’m losing, drop all the pretenses. I think out of everyone in this family you are the most insightful and I really, really like that, Tim. You might be the only one that brings some sense of peace to the Waynes. ” I smiled
“Thank you y/n/n.”
“You see, that’s consciously used nickname. I haven’t heard it in a while.”
“Just had a feeling it might lift your spirit.” He squeezed my hand lightly and I reciprocated.
“It did. Thank you too.”
“Y/n. Tim.” a male voice reverberated from the entrance.
“Morning, doctor.” Tim nodded in acknowledgement.
“Hi, Jonah” I smiled. He might have been an esteemed doctor etc., but he was dealing with this family for way too long to use his title. He has seen many, many injuries of Dick, Jason and mine, some more embarrassing then others, never knowing the real stories behind getting them. I mean, of course, no one ever told him we were Gotham’s vigilantes. Besides, he was at the same age as Dick, so I treated him like a friend, rather than someone who I should keep distance from. Even if he wanted more and was very clear about it in the past. Before me and Jay got together.
“What happened this time?” Jonah smirked
“Not much. Just casual broken leg.”
“Out of everyone I met in my practice you are excelling when it comes to self-distance. And you are a Wayne.”
“I was never legally adopted.” I pointed out.
“But you were raised by Wayne. With all the respect he’s not the one to joke about himself.”
“Can’t blame him for that” Tim muttered obviously referring to the part of our life Jonah had no idea about. “I’ll leave you two to it. I believe you are in good hands Y/n and …..”
“Can’t you be my emotional support here, Timmy?” I whined eyeing him with doe eyes. Maybe, subconsciously I didn’t want to be alone with Jonah. He still had that unintelligible tendency to flirt with me. Directly. Even if he knew I was with Jay. (speaking of the devil, I was still wondering what the hell was with him.) “Please?” this sounded more desperate than intended but it was hard to give the air to the handsome doctor who I was not interested in but with who I had to keep good relationship. For the sake of the family and our health of course.
“Y/N?” Before Tim was able to answer Damian peeked through the half-open door. This little demon. Ever since he arrived at the Wayne Manor he had learn so much about people, emotions and relationships. Thanks to his natural intelligence he quickly figured out why I was acting strange around some family friends and felt the need to keep me safe from any intrusion. Much to Jay’s annoyance since the red bat felt like his brother was stealing his job from him. What was even better about Damian was that he developed the ability to switch between his assassin, cold, sneaky self and the charming, innocent, youngest member of the family. And now, using his softest voice he was asking permission to come in and accompany me in the medical procedure. He looked almost sweet. Only Tim and I noticed the murderous glint in his eyes. He wanted to watch over me, rather than expand his knowledge.
“Come on in, Damian. I bet dr. Hill has nothing against your presence here, isn’t it right, Jonah?”
“Um… I…..” the MD stuttered and that gave away the fact that he was in fact going to flirt with me again and Damian just got in the way.
“See, Dami. Told you. “ I smiled and patted a spot next to me on the bed “You can even take a place here if you’d like.”
“Mhm. I think I’d like that.” He smiled, but this time it was more predatory then before “I could observe carefully.” And with those words, he jumped on the bed.
I really loved this silent connection with Damian. We never needed any words to communicate. It was extremely hard to get to him at the beggining, but unlike everyone else, who was approaching him with caution and gentleness I never did it. He was an assasin. He was dangerous, sometimes. He was harsh and extremely direct in his opinions. But that was what I liked about him. And while everyone focused on showing him the meaning of friendship and family, introducing Dami to the other part of life, he never knew about, I was rather concentrated on proving to him that all the traits he possesed that people assumed were bad could actually be used for his benefit. I think that was why in time we developed pretty strong bond.
***
“I think that would be it….” a while later Jonah finished his work and started gathering utensils, almost shaking under Damian’s predatory gaze. He did not have enough time to get used to the little Wayne.
“You can ease up, now.” I whispered when the doctor turned around “I think you scared him enough. And besides, he’s leaving now.”
“Whatever.” Dami shrugged but eased up his glare. A bit.
“I guess I’ll see you in two weeks, Y/N. Just to make sure everything goes in the right direction with healing.”
“Sure. You know I appreciate your care Jonah. We all do, right Dami?”
“Sure.” the boy crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes
“I… um… I’m gonna go now. I know the way, no need to see me out and …..”
“Where is she?!” of course Jason chose this moment to burst through the door and immediately collided with the other man “What the hell are you doing here?!”
“Dr. Hill came to provide medical attention, Jason. Which I desperately needed.” I explained in the low voice, accenting some parts of the sentence just to spite my boyfriend further.
“I was just leaving.” Jonah stuttered. Guess he still remembered his last confrontation with my jealous boyfriend. To tell the truth, I remembered it too - the aftermath were quite pleasurable, Jay made sure of that.
“Good for you” Jason hissed “farewell, doctor. Now, off you go too, demon. I need Y/N for myself.”
“Are you sure she wants it?” Damian stood up in front of Jay, the height and posture difference being so comical I couldn’t help a single laugh.
“Pretty positive.”
“Why don’t we ask her then? Y/N, do you want Todd to stay?”
“Hm. I’m not sure…..” I tapped my chin thoughtfully
“WHAT?! How can you not be….?!”
“You are late, Jay. How does the saying goes? You snooze you lose?” Damian smirked upon my words.
“Y/N!” Jason exclaimed.
“Oh, and now you are yelling at me.” I pouted “And I’m severely injured. And in extreme pain. This is just so… so…. “ I sobbed in a phony matter “… unfair….”
“Oh, come on….” he gasped and threw hands in the air in desperation “this is way too dramatic for you.”
“Yeah, you’re right” I dropped the theatrics immediately. It was no fun pretending when he already knew I was doing it. “I’ll be fine, Dami. You can go. Thanks for staying though, it was funny observing Jonah so intimidated.”
“If you need anything......”
“Don’t worry, demon. I got her covered.” Jace practically pushed Damian out the door and closed it tightly. “He’s a menace.”
“He’s… intense. But we both know he is a good boy, Jace.”
“Yeah, whatever you say.” He shrugged standing in place. Oh, the war of nerves he was waging against me. Of course, he was not going to show any care. At least not in the beginning. But I wasn’t going to relent. If he wanted teasing, teasing he would get.
“Guess I’ll be benched for a while.” I pointed towards my leg “and that means Jonah will be coming here to check on me. I wonder if he’s going to be as friendly as usually when he gets me alone.”
“Stop saying his name!” he hissed and fell onto the bed next to me, cupping my cheek. Unlike his harsh voice, the touch was so gentle caring and loving. “Stop talking about him. I hate that guy. He almost stole you from me.” He moved closer, leaning his forehead on mine and then he realized “You did this on purpose didn’t you, my girl?”
“Of course. But I love how it turned out.” I stretched my arms and locked them around his neck pulling him closer. “Hi, Jace.”
“Hi, baby.” He pecked my lips chastely and rubbed my sides carefully “How are you feeling?”
“I’ll survive. If anything I would die out of boredom in the next weeks.”
“We’ll figure something to keep you entertained.”
“Like helping Babs in her woman in the chair position?”
“For starters. You will get to see me in action on the big screen, how does that sound?”
“I’ll make a crack video.” I laughed at him and he frowned “Hey, don’t be mad, Jay.” I laid my head on his shoulder and he exhaled deeply, playing with the strand of my hair.
“I could never be mad at you.”
“Is that a challenge?” I sneaked a peek at him.
“Ok, stop it now. I’m trying to be thoughtful and caring here. You’re ruining the moment.”
“Sorry. Guess I have tendency to push the point.” I sighed and felt his arms wrap tighter around me. It must have been hard and uncomfortable to hold me like this, with my leg outstretched but he did not complain. “What took you so long? Are you all right, Jaybird?”
“I’m good. Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, baby, I played a vital part in the ambush for the …..”
“ I know. I knew the plan we were executing. I was just worried and the crazy thoughts kept creeping in and ..... ”
“Hey. Stop spiraling. It's about you, not me.” he pulled away “look at me” I followed and once again our gazes met, making me melt. Jason was stubborn like a mule, ironic, impenetrable, acting like an edgelord towards everyone and keeping his distance. But when someone (like me) was persistent enough to get through, all the good things inside him were enough to cover up for the worse ones. Now, he was looking at me with so much love, attention and care it was indescribable ”I love you.” he whispered slowly, eyes never leaving mine and tears started falling down my cheeks. Guess we both sucked when it came to good emotions.
“I love you too Jason. So freaking much. Please, don’t leave me now.”
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. But you need rest. Your body needs rest. Let it have it. I’ll keep you safe.”
“From who?” I laughed and he followed.
“Anyone.” Jason answered kissing the top of my head. “You do realize you will have to stay in the manor until you heal, right?”
“Look who’s ruining the moment now.”
***
Third person POV
10 hours later.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” Dick hissed when he saw Y/N walking around in the batcave “You are injured!”
“It’s not an excuse for being lazy.”
“I swear you are getting worse than Tim. You need rest!”’
“Mhm, sure, someone told me that before. I think I got enough sleep for a lifetime. And now….”
“Do you want me to call upon Damian?”
“I don’t think he respects you enough to come upon a call. He wouldn’t listen. Besides, what would he do?”
“Do you want me to call Jason?”
“Getting desperate here, Dickie?”
“Y/N.”
“What? I just… I want to help you guys. It’s 9 p.m., normally I would be preparing for patrolling and my body just falls into this pattern, adrenaline kicking in. I won’t be able to stay here doing nothing.”
“We’ll be fine.”
“Sure. Remember what happened last time you said it?”
“Care to remind me?”
“You got shot!”
“Minor inconvenience. And it healed fast.”
“I swear everyone in this family is insane.” She turned around to the extend her cast allowed her and threw hands in the air dramatically.
“You included?”
“Of course me included. It comes with even standing close to you or Bruce. You are like a disease.”
“You’re my favorite too, Y/N. Now go. The hell. Upstairs.
***
She swore she won’t be able to fall asleep, but her organism knew better. Or rather Jason knew better. When he saw her limping up the stairs, he just breezily, yet mindful of the leg picked her up and tucked in the bed.
“I hate it!” she pouted trying to get out again.
“Don’t even think about it” Jason warned.
“I’m not thinking, I’m simply doing.” she threw the blanket away but Jason was quick to take action.
“The hell you are.” taking her by surprise he laid in the bed next to her, putting an arm around her, nailing her to the mattress. “I’m not letting you out.”
“So what, now I’m a prisoner?” she shifted only to lay on the side and face him.
“Am I a punishment for you? Is that what you are saying?”
“No” she sighed “this shit on my leg is.”
“I should really kick the ass of the one responsible for letting it happen.”
“That would be me, Jay.” She pointed out “Are you really ready to fight me?”
“We’ll spar after you get back to full health.”
“I’ll hold you to this word.” she smiled lightly “You know, I like it when you’re here, next to me…. Maybe I should not let you go.” Her hand travelled up his muscled arm and then down, tracing all the scars and cuts, relishing in his presence and this little moment of peace and open vulnerability. “Not that I hold such power over you, of course.”
“Sure not. You’re getting a bit too cocky here, sweetheart.”
“Hm.” She muttered “Can I at least keep you until it’s time to go?”
“I think I can manage that. But since we got only like an hour left, how about I compensate for it by bringing you closer to me?”
“I think I can manage that” she whispered and hummed softly when his hands found her waist pulling her in and shifting positions so that he was lying on his back and her head landed on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The fact that they didn’t need any words to fill in the silence was the perfect indicator of how they felt about each other. Much to her displeasure she slowly started drifting off, lulled by Jason’s touch and gentling, his warmth and safety she felt with him. “Come back to me in one piece….” She muttered before the sleep enveloped her fully.
***
It was so damn hard to leave her and Jason’s heart ached at the simple thought of being forced to wriggle out of her embrace. Said hour later, Y/N was deeply asleep next to him, her warm, soft body being the sweetest weight he could imagine. Only now he realized he would have to go through the entire night without being able to hear her bickering through the comms and it made him shiver. She was probably the only one to understand his wicked sense of humor and help him keep his cool and remnants of level – headedness without falling back into the killing and violence with which he acted right after the pit. He loved her. He would give her everything and yet, she would settle for anything from him. She always claimed that his protectiveness was welcomed but not necessary. She didn't need his action, she needed him, his presence, time and soul. It was hard to comprehend at the begginig, but he was slowly learning how to love and be loved fully.
Jason closed his eyes, feeling her breathe calmly next to him. She was right, it’s been a while since they have been this peaceful and this close together and he hated the thought of being forced to break it. But she would understand. After all, she was a vigilante as well, familiar with the night patrols. And she would never ask him to stay back just for her whim.
Involuntarily, reluctantly, he started moving, the coldness of the air immediately replacing the softness and happiness he felt with her. Y/N whined quietly and adjusted her sleeping position to his absence, her hair falling straight onto her face due to the movement. Jason smiled, tucking them over her ear and caressing her cheek, which made the girl lean into the touch.
“Enough.” He had to bring himself upright. One more touch or kiss and he would forget about Gotham, patrols, missions and his entire family and lie down next to her again. She thought being benched would be hard for her, and yet never realized how much he would struggle through it.
***
“Babs…..” Y/N limped into the cave, dressed in Jay's hoodie and rubbing her eyes.
“Rough night?” the red haired girl turned from the computer, facing her younger friend.
“Something like that. I had a nightmare.”
“About? If you want to talk about it of course.“
“Nothing explicit” Y/N shrugged and perched on the edge of the desk “mission going wrong, people getting hurt…. the usual stuff.”
“You need something to keep your mind busy?”
“Yes, please. What do I do?”
“You have some tech skills, so you can be the one to walk boys through the patrol tonight” Babs smirked
“You want me to take your place?”
“Not fully. I’m not quitting my job just yet. But you can be the support. From what I see Red Hood has been unusually violent today and someone needs to pacify this one.”
“I’m not sure if it’s good idea for me to do it.” Y/N hesitated, picking her fingernails.
“And why exactly not?” Barbara frowned and eyed Y/N carefully “you’re working together on a daily basis. You are a couple. You know how to get to him.”
“I…. I don’t want to, Babs.”
“Why?”
“Cause he’s out there and I’m here. If anything happened I won’t be able to rush for help and…..”
“You’re worried.” Babs stated
“Maybe. But please, don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t. I promise. And believe me, I get it. When I was forced to hang the mantle of batgirl and Dick was out on the streets, I felt the exact same thing. But it’s just something you learn it time in relationship. You learn to let go of your own fear for the benefit of the other person. You have to learn it or it will consume you and eventually lead to fights and misunderstandings.”
“Can you help me with it, Babs? I… I really don’t want to mess up what I have with Jay.”
“Sure y/n. I’ll help you. And I’ll make sure Dick have the same conversation with your boy.”
“I don’t…..”
“Hey, relax. It would be just brotherly talk. Jace is a prick but he loves you. But love needs to be mature. And he’s not there yet, sometimes he acts too emotional for the sake of both of you. I only do it because I care about you.”
“Thank you, Babs.”
"What are friends for?" Barbara nodded and would probably add something more if it wasn’t for the voice coming out of the speakers.
“Oracle, are you there? Why aren’t you responding?”
“I’ve just had important conversation with Ego, Nightwing.”
“About what?”
“Emotions. And you won’t like what I will ask you to do after you get back from patrol."
"Given our history together I think nothing can surprise me anymore."
"I'm sorry, is anyone working there? I need some intel!"
"Polite as usual, Red." Babs hissed "And in fact...." she glanced at me "I'm taking a night off."
"Whatever. I'll just handle myself then."
"Ego will guide you tonight." Babs smirked and I mentally facepalmed. She was so much like Dick at times.
"I hate you" I muttered but took her place in front of the screen "Hello Hood. Guess I won again. You are condemned to my advice."
"I think this is going to be an interesting night then, Ego."
"Oracle! Get Ego and Hood off the line now." Bruce hissed through the comms. "I swear I am working with immature kids."
"We're working on growing up, Bruce. We really do." Babs smiled, with zero intention of listening to his orders. Guess I was in charge after all and in fact, I started getting the feeling it would be quite enjoyable.
Sophia Loren / Unknown / @ ojibwa / Adélia Prado / Unmade Bed by Sally Strand / Paul Auster / Unknown / Lucille Clifton / Unknown Artist / Kaveh Akbar / Unknown Artist / Marguerite Duras / Claude Monet
”I Would Leave Me If I Could. A Collection of Poetry” - Halsey/Cop Car - Mitski/unknown/unknown/"The Burning" - Venetta Octavia/@6aint/Bite the Hand - Boygenius/unknown/unknown/Bite the Hand - Boygenius/unknown/Places I’ve Taken my Body: Essays - Molly McCully Brown/unknown/Cop Car - Mitski/unknown/Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? - Taylor Swift
Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka // Mitski—Abbey // Chuck Palahniuk, Diary // Fernando Pessoa // Andrei Tarkovsky, script of The Sacrifice (1986) // Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 // @/8bitfiction on X // see 1 // Morgan Harper Nichols, "Let July be July" // @/sunlightafterdark on ig
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