Peter Parker Is My Will To Live

Hello! I don’t know how you stumbled onto my page but you did. Message me, ask me things, or enjoy the occasional posts I make~

[peterbparkner]

Hi! I hope you are doing well!!

Hello! I am thank you very much! I hope you’re doing well too

[just-things-things]

Peter: And now a gay update with Harley!

Harley: Getting gayer

Peter: You heard it here first folks, he's getting gayer!

[peterbparkner]

Kinda wanna try publishing one of the fanfics i have drafted... should I?

[funnyincorrectmcu]

Tony: What’s trending right now with the kids? Peter: Pain. 

[forgetful-nerd]

Tony: oh god Peter why?

Peter, covered head to toe in multicolored doodles of the avengers: I got bored in my online class.

[peterbparkner]

me in three days just watch

[forgetful-nerd]

Peter and Harley: [throwing pencils at one another]

Stephen: could you two try to be more mature?

Peter: [stands up and decks Harley] TAXES!

[forgetful-nerd]

Ned, after learning Peter is bilingual: do you think in English or Italian?

Peter: bold of you to assume I think.

[just-things-things]

[recaption]

[peterbparkner]

um yes i am aware of that ✨

[funnyincorrectmcu]

Peter: My mind is like an internet browser. Tony: …explain? Peter: 15 tabs are open, 7 of them are frozen, and I don’t know where the music’s coming from.  Tony: … Tony: Honestly, me too, kid.

[lilboreddev-blog]

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

[thatblackwatchdouche-blog-blog]

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

[starkerhuh]

“You’re beautiful when you sleep” whispered Tony softly blowing in Peter’s ear just to watch goosebumps appear all over Peter’s skin

Peter felt the tingles all the way down to his toes and smiled “Are you buttering me up and playing footsie so we can make-out some more?”

“Yes. And yes.”

“Well, it’s working”

[forgetful-nerd]

Harley, kicking the garbage bin: GET THE F*CK OUT!

Tony: Harley what are you doing?

Harley: it’s trash day, I’m trying to put the garbage out.

Tony: Don’t kick it! pick up the bin and put it outside!

Harley: I can’t do that!

Tony: why not!?!?

Harley: because it’s to heavy!

Tony: Then get Peter to help!

Harley: that’s what I’ve been trying to do! BUT HE WON’T COME OUT OF THE GODDAMN TRASH BIN!

Tony: what-

Peter, from inside the garbage bin: This is my home, it’s where I belong Tony. With the rest of the trash.

[soft-arachnid]

The Daily Bugle Posts An Article Saying Spider-Man is Iron Man’s Son, Chaos Ensues.

[officialtonystarkprotectionsqua]

Stephen: Hey Pete, where's your dad?

Peter: OK so it all started this morning when Harley bought some tomatoes from the sto-

Stephen: nope, not today.

Stephen: *creates a portal for himself*

[incorrect-assvengers]

Tony: Caffeine no longer gives me the rush I need to finish work, so instead, I have Pepper periodically message me "we need to talk" to give me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep me going.

[incorrect-assvengers]

Peter: Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.