Just make it exist first,
You can make it good later
Brainrot so hard, you turn your beloved rarepair into a fancomic...
// will be a bit personal starting from here, feel free to either read or scroll, but please be kind //
I forgot if I ever talked about it here, but I finally wrapped my long-term RatioMei doujin project. And it feels...SO REWARDING!
I still can't believe I drew those 50+ pages (with my sis helped being a toning assistant for 2/3 part of the comic) //crying happily//
It's hard to express my feelings further, since in between this doujin process, there are plenty of things that happened on the other side of my life.
When I was just planning out the plot of this comic in 2024, my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer at the same time. It resulted in me flying back and forth from Indonesia to Malaysia for 6 months to accompany her treating the disease.
Sadly, she didn't survive her battle, and passed away in February this year. So I have to continue doing this comic as I've committed to finish it, while still grieving (even until now, as I'm writing this post, haha)
Around June, I submitted the wip of this project for a comic-&-artbook-focused local artist alley. The curation is pretty strict, which is; if the participant turns out 'lying' and didn't promote any comic/book products (the event priorities artists who have comics and books) , you'll get blacklisted from entering the event, ANDDDDDDDD...... my proposal were accepted X"D which means I HAVE TO make the comic REAL, not only teaser work, and forced myself to finish this before the event.
Everything was pretty rushed, I cried a lot and almost lost my sanity since the progress looks stagnant for almost 3 months. But thankfully, I managed to finish everything 4 days before the event D-Day, with 3 days left to print everything since the event was located in another city (have to go there by either plane or train, I used train)
Not only that, around a week before this comic was officially wrapped, I was actually seeking a therapist for a specific mental health diagnosis, and turns out: I have ADHD all this time hskfjskjfksjffsdgs. But I never received any official diagnosis, as my late parents didn't consider the symptoms that have been visible on me since childhood days weren't a big deal (mind you, in the 1900s, ADHD was believed to only happen to men, not women. And I hate how I am only being labeled "sensitive" or "slow" and it's getting too normalized) (correct me if I'm wrong, though)
The diagnosis both makes me thinking about how fucked up my workflow when doing this comic, while at the same time, made me reflect and learned about what I can do better if I have to face the same type of projects. Everything has its upsides and downsides ^^
But despite everything, I bear zero regrets about committing to this comic :"3 RatioMei has become my main source of happiness and inspiration ever since their drip marketing days. At some point I do have thoughts, "Will I get bored or burned out drawing them?" along with "I bet everyone is already sick seeing the same artist drawing the same thing, it's been 2 years." BUT I DOUBTED MYSELF TOO OFTEN. I found drawing them so addicting, because in my opinion, they're the most gorgeous HSR characters with gorgeous design -- I thought the same about DanHeng-March 7th and Anaxa-Castorice but of course, Dr. Ratio-Ruan Mei being number 1 -- and I basically just love LOVE drawing two good looking characters with interesting dynamic kissing hdjahdksjdjkdjs
And I'm very grateful for all the people that enable me to do this project. I'm very much aware I'm unable to make this alone, every form of support for either my art or RatioMei itself has been my greatest fuel to make this comic real. I feel proud to stay true to myself, living up to my own commitment, and finish this, despite everything TvT I know this is not enough, but thank you so much, for anyone who's here, or those who've stayed longer and watch me grow.
Last but not least, I really wish I could ship this comic overseas for overseas RatioMei enjoyer but alas, I might just make a digital version for it to be accessible. Coming soon! (hopefully)
Let me tease some preview ^q^
I think that's it from me, thank you again >w<
Apologize that I'm also making this about myself lmao
