Alice

She wasn't fragile like a flower; She was fragile like a bomb

[pettyalicecooper]

ncrthernheart:

Archie wasn’t a stranger to Alice Cooper’s tantrums. Having lived next door to the Coopers his entire life, he was privy not only to gratuitous glimpses into Betty’s window but also into Mrs. Cooper’s– a privilege that bordered precariously on the edge of every teenager’s fantasy to a straight up nightmare. There were certainly times where Archie was pretty sure he was about to witness a murder.

Thankfully, his raging hormones made it so that at least one person had a happy ending on those nights.

“Is everything okay, Mrs. Cooper?” Archie asked, hovering in the doorway in a questionable state of undress and toothpaste foam at the corners of his mouth. “Uh… like, did you wanna talk to my dad? I think he’s still out back if you wanna get him before work. Did you get the email too?”

It wasn’t that Alice had a problem with Archie. As far as raging hormone filled teen boys he was better than most. But she that didn’t mean she wanted those hormones spilling out all over her precious Betty. Especially not after one of her daughters followed in her footsteps right to the sisters. Still for a peeping tom, he was a good kid.

Not bad on the eyes when he mowed the grass either.

The grass is what had her raging this morning. “Email? What email? I’m here about the grass. When was the last time you mowed it, Archie? It’s like living next door to a crack house the grass is so tall.” She shook the ruler she had in her hand at him. “It’s supposed to be no higher than two inches. Yours is three inches now, Archie. Three!”

[pettyalicecooper]

ramtcugh:

When it came to the subtle art of finger pointing in the game of Who is responsible for this?: the Riverdale Edition, Hiram was always a safe bet — a fact that he was both acutely aware of and personally obligated to deny. Particularly when the finger pointed his way belonged to Alice Cooper. There were days like this, however, when denial wasn’t the least bit appealing.

“I don’t recall you always being so concerned with respectability, Alice.”

He wondered, absently, if Hal had told his wife about the offer he’d made. He’d find out soon enough, no doubt. Instead he returned to admiring the towering billboard that loomed over the offices of The Register, introducing the SoDale project in all it’s shutterstock pristine glory. “Personally I’d call it .. promising.”

Hiram Lodge. Of course. Because her day hadn’t been ruined by idiot men posturing thanks to their small dicks enough without running into the biggest (smallest) idiot of them all. She brushed aside the reference to her mug shot. On the surface that was because it had only made her more livid. Alice hadn’t clawed her way into the Northside just to be dragged back down by a mugshot printed by her own daughter.

“I’m sure you were the picture of respectability when you were getting rammed by some guy with a tattoo on his face in prison.”

Okay so maybe brushing it aside wasn’t an option today. She scoffed at his words about that monstrosity of a billboard. “Promising? It’s disgusting! An eye sore. I’m sure it’s violating several city codes.” Alice narrowed her eyes at him. He’d placed it here on purpose. “I suppose the size is meant to make up for your lack of stature. Still wearing those lifts I see.”

[inxjustice]

Being a cop is not just a job. It’s a calling. Leyla didn’t even know how often she heard that quote without actually understanding what it meant. Things were easier in New York. Easier to ignore the things going on in the town after night settled over it and she ended her shift. Riverdale was different. She knew half the people living here and at least heard of all the rest. Everything going on seemed to suddenly be her business - even after she clocked out and left the station for the night. 

In New York, she could look away when some guy snatched a candy bar from a store when she did her grocery shopping after a night shift at four am. In Riverdale, even people looking vaguely suspicious were enough to catch her attention and push her to intervene. This? Definitely past her definition of vaguely suspicious. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”, she asked, trying a lot harder to sound tough now that she didn’t have her uniform to convey authority for her.

[pettyalicecooper]

Alice turned around at the sound of someone speaking to her, the hand holding her binoculars at her side now. As soon as she saw it was just some woman though her irritation was apparent. “If you’re not the police officer I asked the sheriff’s office to send over an hour ago you can just keep walking. I don’t have time for you.” Some people were so nosey, butting into other people’s business. That was the trouble with Riverdale. No one could mind their own business.

Once she’d dispatched this nosy woman she could go back to looking through her binoculars at the trees around Fred’s house. That suit wearing peeping tom had been back at it again. Alice had seen him up in the tree likely watching Archie and that Veronica going at it like rabbits again. Pervert! She was getting Archie some damn curtains for Christmas. It took her a moment to realize the woman being nosy wasn’t someone she recognized. Suspicious her eyes narrowed at the other. Maybe this woman was friends with the suit wearing pervert.

[ziggory]

Riverparents in Their Youth (1/?): Alice Cooper

[ghculking]

Sweet fucking freedom. One of those many things no one really seemed to appreciate unless they lost it for a while. And fuck. After months of juvie, Malachai couldn’t help but notice how sweet the night air of Riverdale smelled. Of all the things he had missed, the artificial neon street lights were definitely way up there. 

Number one was his car. Without a doubt. In fact, he was just on his way to pick it up, making his way through the dark streets by himself, gleefully appreciating how little had changed while he was gone. This was still his town. And of course, being the benevolent monarch of Riverdale, he couldn’t shake the need to help his people. Especially not when they were stranded on the side of the road, clearly struggling with their car. “Need a hand?”, he asked, the hint of a smile on his lips as he strode towards them.

[pettyalicecooper]

Alice had been bugging Hal to get Triple C for the longest time but he was too cheap to. Now here she was stuck with a flat tire and he wasn’t picking up his phone. Figured. The voice made her jump slightly, fingers curling around a can of pepper spray in her pocket. She turned and had to repress an eye roll at what she saw in front of her. Ghoulie.

She looked him over again unamused. “No offense,” she started in a tone that clearly meant offense. “But how’s a kid who looks like he fell head first into his mother’s bedazzler, who’s walking, going to lend me a hand? Do you know anything about changing a tire on a car? Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Rivedale should have a curfew. Maybe she’d write an article calling for one. After all the Black Hood nonsense people would probably go for it.

[lodge-veronica]

#THE GREATEST CLAPBACK OF ALL TIME

[jimmyhopper]

#this is riverting i can’t breathe

[pettyalicecooper]

Fuck Hal! He’d ruined a perfectly wonderful family breakfast. Alice didn’t get up before sunrise to cook a good wholesome meal for her family just to have him interrogate her son. It was Hal’s fault Chic hadn’t been raised in their home. Hal’s fault Polly left and didn’t even tell them the twins were born. Her daughter had given birth to them alone. Alice knew what that felt like. She hadn’t wanted it for Polly. But they’d lost her. They had Chic now. And Hal was still being a dick. Naturally. Today was one of those days she’d like a maple syrup truck to plow right into the bastard. Widowhood would look good on her. Until that happened her bad mood was not going to be eased. Especially not with some abomination blighting the town. “What the hell is this? This town used to be a decent town. A respectable town. A town we could all be proud to live in. And now we have this garbage? Who is responsible for this?” Fucking people ruining her suburban dream. She did not claw her way out of the Southside, marry fucking Hal Cooper, and build her life into something out of Better Homes and Gardens for this! No one had any fucking respect in this town. Whoever was responsible for this was going to be dragged through the mud in the Register. What was the use of having a paper if not to use it for your own petty ends. “Despicable!”

[argumate]

but soft, what brick through yonder window breaks

[stillscape]

[village-skeptic]

It is the east, and Alice Cooper is PISSED.

[riverdaleremix]

[riverdales-daily]

[blakegallo]

PARENTDALE TEENAGE AESTHETIC

 » alice smith cooper «

the night of the homecoming when your father and i were crowned king and queen, the fight that fp saw, i had just told your father i was pregnant. and we disagreed on how best to handle…things. and we had a really big fight, and the next day i went away.