"Um, they're briefs," the idiot standing there in what was very clearly a DIAPER said to Sarah.
"I think, um, you're supposed to call them briefs."
"Yeah. So you know when people say boxers or briefs, what are they asking?"
"If guys like wearing boxers as underwear or, like, tighty whities."
"Which are the briefs in the question. Right? Right?"
"Okay good. So briefs are undies. Those, right now what you're wearing, those crinkly garments, where you put your waste that you walk around in, are DIAPERS. Okay. I believe in using words that are correct so when you come into this office and you talk to me or the doctor we'll be calling them diapers. Okay? And so will you. You are wearing diapers. Maybe you should say it so I know you're not going to be a problem because otherwise I'll have to flag your file."
"But my mom always said they were briefs."
"Says here you are 26, right?"
"Okay. So your mommy has been lying to you for however many years you've been in diapers. I don't know if she's a born liar or wanted to make you feel better about peeing and pooping yourself and needing diapers, but you wear diapers."
"But, ma'am, they're briefs."
"Okay, look. You're 26 and wear diapers and reading your records there's no obvious reasons why you're incontinent so I'm going to lay out some hard facts and the doctor would just say the same thing so don't go complaining to him. 26 year olds should not be wearing diapers. You getting a lot of girls in your Pampers?"
"Sorry. In your diapers. How is your dating life?"
"Exactly. Girls don't want a guy in Pampers. It's just a fact. Sorry to be bearer of bad news. So you can either start working toward using the toilet like a big boy, or just accept you're going to be stuck in diapers without a girlfriend for the next 50 years or so."
Now the idiot was crying. Did Sarah feel bad? No. She never felt bad for telling the truth.
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