the more they change, the more we stay the same.
when nile had broken up with his then-girlfriend (one of?) the first thing(s) he did was tell me and Double A. much to our befuddlement. both of us had thought it was a fucking honor to date nile - nile will always remain one of the best people i know, and not just because he’s my boy. i’ve known him for nearly five years and not once has this man done something wrong for the sake of doing something wrong. nile is one of the best human beings i know. so when something like this happened it was as if we were blessed that we were the two he confided in. not only that, he’d known that we’d ask, even if ever so gently.
“________ and i broke up. i’m okay. i don’t want to talk about it right now.”
i’ve only seen Double A irritated once. he was irritated because of me, but at someone else. how was i so able to insult someone he cared about, yet tell the truth at the same time? it boggled his mind. everyone he cared about were good people but here i was, laying down verbal artillery at someone so sweet, so pure. and who was i to talk about THIS PERSON? i think back to how confused he must have been. not only was everything he had heard about me true (all of which were negative things, i’m sure), but the kicker was that he actually kind of liked me. and how was i making so much sense? furthermore, how was i able to give actual scenarios that had happened during exchanges between him and this other person - events that i was describing and events that had actually taken place between him and this person were too eerily similar. an uncanny resemblance between this person in my mind that i was talking shit about and the person he knew.
“just because you’re right doesn’t mean you’re good.”
i’m a few months shy of knowing nile for 5 years.
and while i was aware of Double A’s existence prior to, i can only really say i’ve known him for around 2 years or so. cumulatively, i’ve spent 7 years knowing these two individuals. since meeting these two, i’ve cracked dumb jokes, had awkward silences, and danced. to this day, i crack dumb jokes (nile: if they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, phil could go far), we’re awkward by nature, and all of us still dance. we’ve gone from seeing each other every day, or at least a few times a week, to not seeing each other for months at a time. we have a groupchat titled -me- is a fuckboy (hilariously true within our little trio (though i’d argue that title should rest on another’s head)) yet somehow the feeling is the same.
Double A is now jacked, hits the gym multiple times a day. nile is nile, though now i know more about him than i wish i did. i wonder what these two would say about me. i’d hope that they say that i’ve become more dependable, a rock of sorts for the two of them and also the one that encourages them to improve every day. or maybe i’m overestimating myself.
to be honest, though, if it wasn’t for these two to be a rock for, to be dependable for, i wouldn’t amount to half the man i am today.