PhiloCvly @philocvly-imvu-blog - Tumblr Blog

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philocvly-imvu-blog

okay.. i’m off . goodnight.

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adventure blog here

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Cristina by Luca Fersko

touch-es

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“Nostalgia is a liar. nothing was ever as good as you remember it to be. there’s a reason you don’t talk to that person anymore, there’s a reason you’re not part of each other’s lives. don’t trust nostalgia. grieve. reflect. move on.”__ Unknown

Artist: Agnes Cecile.

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is this even reality now?

after a series of events in my life and several loses, I've come to realize that maybe it’s just in my head the picture perfect life that i once had pictured with someone and maybe i’m “Overreacting” or i probably should just “forget it” like everyone else says so. but, when you’ve loved someone even tho in the beginning they lied but their personality made me forget everything and want them and only them. as all good things in life have to come to an end. i honestly wish it didn’t i was going to leave everything for you and only you, i just wanted you to feel as i did or as we once did. ah.. distance. distance is what has killed us, we live exactly 2,731 km away from each other.. i know you once even told me that you hated it deep down and as if it were easy yet hard for you to accept the distance? i always ask myself why i weren’t closer to be able to feel your lovely pale and soft skin against mine and feel your deep brown hair run through my hands. is it something that seems like too much? as my friends say? or did i ruin it all.. time and distance just gets in the middle. why? why? why? please don’t go forever.

coming out but not coming out.

so i’ve been trying to get this off my chest. i verbally can’t do so, without breaking down since i feel dizzy and dreadful about what would everyone think of me since their all so religious, i know deep down... in my heart that they won’t love me anymore to know the daughter they want to get married to a man at a beautiful wedding at our church with all our church friends will not come true. the dreams i have of what they would say or how they will react haunt me day and night and keep me up at night with the look of disgust in the eyes of my mother.... of my father. everyone says not to be afraid to do it... but are they me? are they in my situation? do they know the deep secrets of my heart and mind? do they know how disgusted and hateful everyone will be with me? my mother says she would never hate me or disown me, but she also said she’d never ever accept it even if im her daughter since im not following “gods word”. why can’t god accept that i love a girl who just might love me back? that i can’t get her beautiful smile out of my head? how her voice is the melody for me to sleep? why can’t someone see my facial expression that show’s the pain i have to know that my whole family would loose love for me and leave me alone to my own since i don’t want to love a man? i want to be able to love her and be with her , to kiss her and feel her soft pale skin against my olive skin. i want to be happy, but when?

#comingout #sadness