A Phoenyx in the Water

Formerly @arbryna AO3 40-something nonbinary trans guy. Queer in every aspect -- gender, sexuality, neurology, relationship style, politics, anything you can think of. Getting kinkier by the day. Just trying to survive this end-stage capitalist hellscape.

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[shamebats]

Heteronormativity just seems like people making up weird arbitrary rules and then getting mad at each other for breaking them and it all looks so miserable to me

[shamebats]

A straight guy told me he's going to therapy to figure out why the idea of having children and being in a monogamous marriage doesn't appeal to him and I was just like idk man that describes like 90% of my friends including me and we're all literally fine but good luck I guess?

[fitnessadvicethatfitsinyourlife]

okay this probably sounds like im trolling but is it better to eat an ice cream sundae for dinner or nothing for dinner?

I'm gonna take you at face value friend, and give you a serious answer to this question.

But first let me distill your question down to its essence "Is it better to consume energy with very few nutrients or to consume neither energy nor nutrients for dinner?"

I feel like when I put it like that, the answer becomes obvious. Giving your body energy and some nutrients (yes, even ice cream has some nutrients) is always going to be better than giving your body literally nothing for one of your major daily meals.

Our fatphobic society really glorifies starvation. And eating nothing is frequently positioned as a "better" choice to eating something "unhealthy" but that's just not true.

Skipping meals is bad for your metabolism, there's research to indicate that skipping meals, especially lunch or dinner, dramatically increases the risk of cardiovascular disease

And there's also evidence that skipping meals can develop into an eating disorder (literally the most lethal form of mental illness)

If you sincerely find yourself in a situation where the only possible choices for dinner are ice cream sundae or nothing, then the ice cream is quantitatively the "healthier" choice.

This is true even if you're eating it with just Corn Syrup Based Artificial Fruit Flavored Topping™ or whatever, but if you were realistically in this situation what I would recommend is add some fresh or dried fruit, add some nuts or nut butter add some goat cheese (I swear this is less weird than it sounds. If you've never eaten goat cheese with sweets it's got cheesecake vibes lol.)

There's lots of things you could add to your ice cream to get even more nutrients, but at the end of the day: Fed is best. Always and forever.

[stephank]

Thaisha has an awkward question for Sir Julien...

[quiddie]

I’m absolutely DYING. THIS IS PERFECTION. 🥹

[anarchistmemedistro]

[drbigsadbabymd-blog]

Bro same thing with working as a caseworker.

You'll have a single mother of three who's fleeing a DV relationship. She has no recent work history because her ex kept her barefoot and pregnant. She's struggling with depression+PTSD while trying to find work in a horrific job market.

Now I have to be the one to tell her "Dept of Social Services insists every child over the age of 5 have their own bedroom, so you'll have to get a 4 bedroom, which will likely cost $5000/mo. You will get a housing voucher that covers 50% of the cost, so $2500/mo. You will need to make $90k/yr to comfortably afford this"

You and her both know a full-time minimum wage job comes out to $32k/yr in your area and most of that is going to go towards child care so she can work a job that will never pay enough to cover her living expenses. Even if she worked two full-time jobs, she'd still be ~$30k/yr short of the required income.

She can do everything right, she can work her ass off, she can get benefits, and it still won't make a difference. Her abusive ex is going to get the kids in the divorce simply because he has a steady income and home.

You see, in that moment, the woman start to consider going back to a guy who'll probably kill her and/or the kids someday and there's really fuck all you can do. Like " uhh I can help you apply for SNAP, you'll probably get $200/mo. Sorry for all the systemic issues"

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[kropotkindersurprise]

Molly Crabapple talks about der Jüdischer Arbeiterbund, the topic of her new book “Here Where We Live Is Our Country”. The book chronicles the story of the Jewish Labor Bund, a Jewish revolutionary movement that was “socialist, secular, defiantly Jewish and proudly anti-Zionist”. [video]

[boybeetles]

The main reason I’m pushing for people to stop using the term ‘pedophile’ and instead use the term ‘child sexual abusers’, is because since all discussions of child sexual abuse focus on this idea of an evil person who is just out to get kids because they are sexual attracted to them, it makes it hard for kids who where sexually assaulted by people who don’t fit that description to realize they were sexually assaulted.

It didn’t register for me until recently that my experiences of being forced to strip naked multiple times at the mental hospital to be ‘checked’ when I was 14 was sexual assault, because the people who did it were nurses/doctors who clearly didn’t find me sexually attractive but instead used it as a form of humiliation and control towards children they deemed as ‘unruly’ and ‘uncooperative’ (ie. children who asked to be treated like people). I thought only people who fit into this idea of a child attracted pedo could be child sexual abusers, so I thought my experience didn’t count.

Stepping away from the idea that there is a pedophile boggieman and instead highlighting that anyone can be a child sexual abuser will help more people realize that their experiences are sexual assault.

[mousidy]

my stepfather would openly sexually harass me and my siblings at dinner while also loving the fantasy of killing pedophiles. whether he personally found our abuse sexually gratifying was frankly irrelevant to whether it traumatized us. whether he would be considered a pedophile or not doesn't change that he committed sexual abuse of children

I think in his mind there was a type of horrible person out there who does horrible things, and because he didn't think of himself as fitting that category, his actions could not be judged

[unknownbinaries]

finally remembered to put these up, now that this is the least of anyone's worries. unfortunately i have taxes and domain renewals and phone bills, etc. Listed here, every 3 gets a free one (an order for 6 gets 8, etc).

[unknownbinaries]

HEY i deactivated this for a while because I was super depressed (no it really doesn't make sense), and then I was trying to use reactivating it as an excuse to make some new stuff, but that was taking too long so I'm just resharing this with an actually functioning link for now.

[kropotkindersurprise]

Good sticker to put over Ring doorbell cameras in your neighborhood.

[cilantrhoes]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

today's reason I fucking love the open source community: Ageless Linux, a brand new Debian-based operating system specifically designed to break the law by giving children access to computers that explicitly refuse to track their age.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

reblog this post to help a child break the law

[0x5742]

oh goddamn this whole page goes so hard actually, please go read it. what an impressive, visceral takedown of this dumb law

[bebsi-cola]

actually pigs shouldn't be at pride even outside of uniform. fuck those guys

[bebsi-cola]

if you decide to become a police officer then that outweighs any other marginalised identity you can rustle up like. not sorry, who asked you to willingly become a pig

[pekkhum]

I have heard of black people warning their kids that the race of a police officer is cop and you should not expect solidarity from them. The same applies to other types of minorities.

The sexuality of a police officer is cop.

The gender of a police officer is cop.

When you become the enforcer and protector of capital, you are making the deal to be slightly favored by the system over others like you, in exchange for being its servant. Your solidarity is with the system that you serve, even if it hates you.

If you want solidarity with those the system hates, you cannot be the system's servant and defender.

[polycythemiav]

AHHHHH

[rars]

being disabled and lgbt is such a horrible curse because you will see the most ableist take on earth online and you're like "oh surely this is some right-wing fascist loser" and then you look at the person who said it and there's pronouns in their bio. and it's like, how did we get here? but the reality is that a lot of abled people (and often disabled people who are intolerant of different disabilities) are just not even willing to confront the idea that they are capable of punching down on other marginalized groups

like i don't know who needs to hear this but you are Not as progressive as you think you are if you're saying stuff like the R slur, "jobless behavior", making fun of nonverbal people, mocking physical differences, using psychotic as an insult, or calling people "lazy" for using disability aids. even if you're gay!

[stonefemmesiren]

a lot of you really need to internalize that acting avoidant isn't cute at all and that it will cost you experiences and life outcomes if you don't change course

[riftclaw]

[kropotkindersurprise]

May 26 2020 - After Minneapolis cops were caught on camera murdering a handcuffed, non-resisting black man called George Floyd, hundreds of people took to the streets in anger. Riot police attacked protesters with tear gas and rubber bullets, and people vandalized the police station and many police cars.

The cops involved in the murder said that before the events seen in the cellphone footage Floyd had resisted arrest, but CCTV footage quickly appeared, showing this to be a complete lie. [video]/[video]

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[ezekestiel]

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away