freebird.

Jake Puckerman. 23. Musician. Taken.

[phuckermanjake]

tana-lopez‌:

“No, you’re a really good boyfriend,” she reaffirmed her point, it made her smile fondly at him. He was sweet. “Of course, it would have been nice to see you a bit more but work comes first for the both of us,” she soothed him again, not wanting him to carry any guilt of his lack of recent presence. “You can take me on as many nice dates as you like and I want to keep getting to know you too,” she agreed with him, a pang of guilt about her crush on Finn hitting her chest, hard. It was just a silly phase, Jake was the one that she wanted, the one that she cared about, the one that she wanted to be with. She brushed his face softly again, “I don’t want to use words like…love yet, but i’m really, really into you and I think you could be good for me.”

Jake felt his heart melt when Santana said she was really into him. “Me? Good for someone? That’s a first. If anything you’re going to be the one that is good for me.” Jake inched closer, closing the space in between them. He scanned the room to see if any photographers were near by and when the coast was clear he leaned in and kissed Santana softly. Taking a moment before pulling away, a smile came onto his lips as he kissed her. This was different. It was new. It was terrifying but he was happy she was by his side tonight. “So how much longer do you think we have to stay here before we can ditch out to yours?”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

He was going to let this thing go. And just try to have a good time with his best friend. Like old times, just hanging out and having fun. “Well you’ve worked for it. Seriously i can’t imagine what it’s like working creatively like that. Making all these creative decisions. It’s really admirable.” he said before having a sip of his beer.

Jake shrugged his shoulders at Finn’s comments. “I don’t know. I could never be a bartender. That takes real fucking skill. To move around quick like that and get different drinks right every time. My mind couldn’t handle it at all. I could barely finish this damn album.” Jake chuckled and took a sip from his glass before continuing on, “So, you came with Tina, right? How has she been?”

[phuckermanjake]

teecchang‌:

“Well, keep your expectations low to be pleasantly surprised, but stay hopeful,” Tina recited as if she was a fortune cookie with lifelong wisdom. “Go wild, it’s your party after all.” She let a small laugh escape her lips. “Thank you for inviting me, though. I didn’t expect it, so I was surprised.”

Jake chuckled at Tina’s advice. “Not so sure about the whole going wild thing. I don’t want to be the top story on TMZ tomorrow because I couldn’t hold my shit together at my listening party.” Jake smiled warmly as she thanked him. “It’s no problem. I figured you’re interning in this crazy town now. Why not have you at one of these parties to warm you up?” Turning to stand face to face with her he went on, “Plus, I still owe you the world’s biggest apology.”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

It was probably the beer taking over, but Finn felt himself screaming on the inside. He really, genuinely had no reason to be mad, but he was fuming on the inside. “I definitely know what you mean, man. She’s really pleasant.” he said still keeping the smile on his face. He breathed a sigh of relief when Jake asked if he wanted to go for another round. “So much dude. I really need to unwind tonight.” he said licking his lips. It was stupid, but he was jealous. And he hated himself for it. But he really had to try not letting it get between him and Jake.

Jake nodded along and led the way back to the bar. Ordering both of them another round Jake turned back to the crowd. “This shit is crazy, isn’t it? I can’t wrap my head around the fact that this is for me, you know? I feel like I don’t deserve any of this.”

[phuckermanjake]

tana-lopez‌:

She smiled widely, “then that’s what we’ll do after we blow this joint,” she agreed, before he started speaking about Finn again. This clearly was a sore subject for him. She had been fanning the flames of a flirtation between herself and Finn, and a pang of guilt ran through her stomach. Especially when he mentioned being a bad boyfriend. “You had to work, I get it,” she soothed, rubbing his arm to quell any anxiety that he had about being MIA. They were fortunate in their positions, they both understood the late nights, the hours and hours spent away from home, the radio silence. They weren’t a normal couple in a lot of ways, but they both just got it. “Hey, you’re not a shitty boyfriend by the way,” she stated firmly, her eyes narrowing at the comment.

“I’m not? Good. I mean I know you get it. Being in this life for literally your whole life but I still feel like I could’ve tried harder to pay attention to both of you.” Jake looked to his drink and took another sip. “Now that the album is out I do want to take you out on a nice date. I wanna keep getting to know you, you know?”

[phuckermanjake]

teecchang‌:

Tina had just arrived with Finn, thankful that she had someone like her so this whole event wouldn’t feel as awful as it probably would have. It wasn’t like she didn’t want to be there - she was ready to make amends with Jake and her accepting the invite was one step towards that. She stayed by Finn’s side for a while, but she knew she had to spread her wings and work her small talk charm. Parting ways with Finn, she slowly stepped towards a talent scout she recognized from the agency, but midway caught a glimpse of Jake instead. She decided to take a slight turn, walking towards her former fling. “Are you nervous? Why?”

Jake managed a half smile when Tina asked why he was nervous. “Because everyone is going to judge me and my album by the end of the night. I know I’ve been in this world for a while now but I’m still that small town boy I was when I first got here. So parties like this always make me nervous but even more so tonight. So if I get a little too drunk please don’t judge me.”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

Finn couldn’t help but open his mouth a little as Jake spoke. His face had now turned into an open mouthed unsure smile. Surely he was fucking with him now. Fair enough that he liked Santana, but spending the rest of his life with her? Jake had been going from girl to girl all his life and now without even blinking he was thinking of settling down? Finn didn’t believe it for one second. “Wow, man. That sounds great. I mean finally after all those girls you’ve been with, you’ve finally found the one.” he said with a fake smile on his face.

Jake was starting to get genuine now. First he was messing with Finn and maybe it was the whiskey but his feelings were starting to come out. “Yeah, I don’t know if I’m ready to say I love you yet, but...she’s amazing. She makes me feel good. Like no one else before. She makes it easy to be in this life, you know? She gets it and makes all the bad shit go away.” Jake smiled and looked to his empty glass. “Want another round?”

[phuckermanjake]

tana-lopez‌:

Santana smiled, as she leaned into the kiss, his breath tickling her cheek. “You deserve good things, Jake. And now you’re getting them, please stop being so down on yourself and try to enjoy your party. If you still don’t feel like partying later, I promise we can go home and get unbelievably wasted on whatever’s in my liquor cabinet,” she grinned up at him, as a photographer came into view to take a photograph of the happy couple. Sometimes it still took her by surprise. Her movements stilled slightly at the mention of his best friend. Why was he bringing up Finn? “He’s a nice guy, I think he’s having a tough time out here on his own,” she sympathised plainly, not wanting to say much more on the topic.

Jake perked up at the idea of going back to her place, “That sounds like the perfect way to end this evening.” Jake looked up shocked to see the photographer but he quickly got into a proper pose and smiled along with Santana. He looked back to her ready to keep talking about Finn. “Yeah, I know. I feel like a total dick for being missing. He needs me and I’ve felt like a shitty friend and also a shitty boyfriend. So I’m hoping after all of this I can spend more time with both of you. We should all three go out sometime.”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

“Yeah, probably. You know how it is. Showbiz.” Finn said as he let out a little nervous chuckle. Not really wanting to talk about Santana. He raised and eyebrow as Jake said he wanted to thank him, but kept a smile on his face. “Of course man, she’s really great. You’re lucky to have her, she really likes you.” he said reassuringly. He couldn’t really tell if Jake was challenging him or not. But he kept his pleasant demeanor.

Jake smiled and he was definitely testing Finn right now. He wasn’t going to mention the picture or how much time they’ve been spending together. Or he wasn’t going to mention it outright. “I hope so. I know it started as PR but I don’t know, man. I think she could be the real deal, you know? Like I’m not saying I’m gonna propose tomorrow but I can really see myself spending the rest of my life with her.”

[phuckermanjake]

tana-lopez‌:

Santana sighed softly at his words. She had been here before. The doubt, the crippling insecurity. There was no way to shake it, no way to feel less terrible about yourself. “I can’t tell you what to you feel, mi amor,” she sighed, with another brush of her fingertips against his cheek. “No one is here to watch you fail and if they were, I would throw them off of the balcony,” she teased, wrapping her arm around his waist before lifting her glass to meet his in a toast. “I believe in you, Jake. I think that you’re amazing, I think the album is amazing,” she said sincerely, before touching her glass against his. “Here’s to my handsome and undeniably talented boyfriend.”

Jake started to warm up to the party thanks to Santana. “How do you always know what to say to make me feel better, babe?” Jake leaned in for a quick kiss before having a cheers with his girl. “I’ll never understand what I did in life to end up with someone as beautiful as you.” Placing a small kiss on her cheek, he wrapped his arm around her waist. “Speaking of how amazing you are, I’m sure Finn has learned pretty quickly how awesome my beautiful girlfriend is.”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

Finn knew the double meaning of what he was saying, and though it wasn’t untrue. He didn’t mean it in a bad way. Or at least a big part of him didn’t mean it in a bad way. He bit his lip at Jake’s question “Uhm… No. I mean I’ve seen her but i haven’t really talked to her yet.” he was could feel himself starting to sweat a little. The truth was he had kind of been avoiding Santana, and the second he saw her he moved to another part of the house.

Jake nodded along. “Cool, cool. Just asking. I haven’t seen her yet so figured you may have. She probably sees other people she knows though.” Jake shrugged and his eyes focused back on Finn. “I want to thank you man. For keeping her company lately. I know I’ve been really busy with the music and I feel like a shit boyfriend for not being around. But I know she’s in good hands when you guys are together.”

[phuckermanjake]

tana-lopez‌:

Santana was speaking with Jake’s mother, giving her the run down on who was who at the party. The woman was almost as unsettled as her son in these circles, but Santana had done this dance a thousand times before. Her boyfriend came into sight and headed straight for the bar, something that gave Santana pause. But his mother speaking in her ear, took her attention off of Jake and back to the smiling woman next to her. She wondered, for a second, if his mother approved of her. But then shook the thought out of her head, there wasn’t time for that right now. Not when she could see the worry a mile off on his face. “If you’ll excuse me, Mrs Puckerman, i’m going to check on Jake, he’s looking a little pale,” she smiled politely and crossed the floor, settling her arms against his at the bar, nudging him softly with her elbow. She went to speak, when he opened his mouth and let out a heavy sigh, followed by some words. “You don’t,” she assured him, her hand reaching out to brush his cheek softly. She tugged his arm, turning him to face away from the bar and into the crowd. “They’re all here for you, they’re here for your album, because they think that you’re amazing. I think that you’re amazing,” she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “i’m so proud of you,” she murmured into his ear.

Jake was relieved when Santana came up to him. She made him feel comfortable which was much needed in this situation. He smiled when she came up to him and was hesitant to face the crowd but he followed Santana’s lead. Jake looked down after she spoke and shook his head. “But what if they aren’t? What if there are some people here to watch me fail? My first listening party people were more real and it was way more intimate. Here people could be honest and say it’s trash or lie and say it’s good. I’ll never know the truth.”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

“Yeah, i do.” he said with a laugh, nodding. “Come on dude, you’re Jake Puckerman. You’re a star. You… you get what you want.” he said simply and put his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “And it’s because you know what you want, and you go after it. No matter how hard.” He gave Jake a little nod, before removing his hand on his shoulder. “I believe in you dude. You’re talented… Cheers.” he said as he put his beer in the air before chugging down the rest of it.

Jake knew Finn was trying to talk him up but he couldn’t help but feel a pang at every word Finn was saying. It was true but Jake getting what he wanted and going after what he wanted had burned his best friend in the past. Jake smiled though and lifted is glass along with Finn, “Cheers!” He chugged his drink alongside Finn before sucking in air at the stinging feeling in his throat. “Hey, have you seen San yet?”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

Finn was brought out of his trance by the sound of Jake’s voice. He looked up and shook off all his thoughts, and gave his best friend a smile “Hey, there’s the man of the hour himself.” he said putting his hand out in a fist. “I’ve been here a little while. Tina’s the designated driver, so she was nice enough to drive me here.” The thought of Santana arrived in his head, and he wondered if Jake had seen the paparazzi pictures of them together. But he wasn’t curious enough to ask, hell no. “How are you doing with, all this?” he said putting his hands out in the air. “You still nervous?” he inquired.

Jake nodded as Finn explained who the DD was. “That’s fair enough. The bartender deserves a night to be served and have fun.” Jake took a sip from his drink as Finn went on. “Yeah, pretty much. I mean as the night goes on and the more I drink the better I feel. It’s just like...your second album kind of decides your future. You can have a great first album but if your sophomore album flops you’re pretty much screwed. It’s terrifying.”

[phuckermanjake]

fnnchristopherhudson‌:

Finn looked down at his beer bottle, peeling off the label. The last few weeks running through his mind. Out of the three people he knew at this party, he had somewhat of a weird vibe with two of them. If it hadn’t had been for Tina driving him here, and Jake insisting he needed him there, he might have chickened out. Now he was just standing there, beer in his hand, staring out at the party.

Jake roamed around the room and his eyes landed on his best friend. His best friend. He had to keep reminding himself that they were best friends and Finn was a good person. He wouldn’t do to Jake what Jake did to him. Finn was too good. Though it did get under Jake’s skin thinking about how much time he had been spending with Santana lately. But that didn’t matter right now. He needed his best friend. “Finn, you made it. Thank God.” A huge smile plastered on his face. Jake just kept reminding himself he needed his best friend. “How long have you been here?”

[phuckermanjake]

Jake was holed up in his room but he knew he had to get downstairs soon. Everyone was starting to pile in. It wasn’t the party he was worried about. He could mingle with people. It was everyone listening to his new album for the first time and judging him. Would people be honest? Would they tell him it was shitty? Or would they lie to his face? Jake tried to shake these thoughts out of his head. He had his people here with him tonight. His mother, Finn, Santana, and... Tina. It was going to be a good night.

Jake made his way to the partner. Better late than never, right? It was his party he could be late if he wanted to or whatever that song said. He mingled with some people from the label before making his way to the open bar. “Double whiskey, please.” Jake looked up to the crowd and let out a heavy sigh. “I hope I don’t look as nervous as I feel.”

[phuckermanjake]

text message || jaketana

SANTANA: i know, babe.

SANTANA: sounds good. it's gonna' be an amazing night, i promise.

[...]

SANTANA: remember i told you that finn and i were going to hang out? he made me take the subway.

JAKE: yeah, vaguely.

JAKE: haha, how did you like that?