Hi, I'm Felix. Although I'm originally from Europe, I've lived in Taipei, Taiwan, since I was little. I went to school and university there. About six months ago, I started working in customer service at a fashion company. As you can probably see, I have a rather extravagant style, incorporating many elements of women's fashion. I feel very comfortable with my colleagues; they've all accepted me for who I am. They also know that I'm attracted to guys. My work is very fulfilling, and I also have a wonderful circle of friends who support me. But I'm missing a partner; I truly long for a sweet guy who loves me and whom I can love. It was on an ordinary workday, when actually a new part of my life had started, but I was not aware of that.
We were told that a new colleague would be joining us that day. I hoped he would fit in well with our team and that we would be able to work well together. A little later, the time had come, the new colleague arrived and was introduced to us as Bai Han. Bai Han was really a cute guy. I thought to myself that the girls on our team would really go wild now. But honestly, it was me who practically went crazy for this handsome guy.
Bai Han settled in well with us and was very popular, especially with my female colleagues. I had the impression that Bai Han also liked to flirt with one or two of them. I got along very well with Bai Han, and somehow I liked him a lot too, almost too much, as I soon realized.
When we talked and laughed I had some really strange thoughts:
Some really odd things were going on in my head. Bai Han never missed an opportunity to flirt with the girls not with me. I was really sad because he was a really handsome and nice guy, always in a good mood, polite and considerate, and extremely good-looking, but he seemed to be unattainable for me.
But what was happening to me? Whenever Bai Han was with the girls, I was in a really bad mood. Why was I so upset about it, and above all, why did I always try to be with Bai Han even though it made me so anxious? Most of you already know what it was: plain and simple affection and jealousy.
When I was alone with Bai Han, I was blissfully happy again. Bai Han was very affectionate towards me then, and I had to restrain myself from touching him, stroking him, kissing him, being with him... Oh no, here I go again. Bai Han was unattainable for me, and then I was back to square one emotionally.
Although my hopes were already pretty low, they were completely shattered one day on Taipei's main shopping street. I had just gotten my hair colored and restyled at my hairdresser and was in my favorite shops. While I was shopping, I saw Bai Han sitting in a cafe with a young woman. They seemed very close, and that's when I realized I would never have a chance with Bai Han.
On the way home I was so sad that I had to fight back tears. There I was, running in my shiny coat, like a wailing toddler.
Everything fell apart when I got home. "You've messed up again," I thought. I hugged my favorite teddy bear and couldn't hold back the tears anymore. What did you expect? That the handsome new colleague would have a crush on you? Pretty naive, right?
The next few days were really awful. I tried to avoid Bai Han as much as possible. But we kept running into each other, everywhere. And then Bai Han asked me, "Felix, what's wrong with you? I feel like you're avoiding me. Tell me." I couldn't talk to him. It was clear: I was madly in love with him and experiencing heartbreak for the first time in my life. I hadn't realized before how bad it could be. I hemmed and hawed. But I never gave him a real answer when he asked me about it.
A few days later, we had a company dinner. I really didn't want to go and knew Bai Han would be there. Because of that, I decided to go after all, since I actually wanted to see him, to be with him. But it turned out worse than I expected. When Bai Han entered the restaurant, and I was just coming back from the restroom, I saw him come in with her. It was the same woman from the cafe. I mean, it wasn't her fault, but my heart sank.
That evening there was only one thing on my mind - alcohol, lots of alcohol.
"Felix, what are you doing? Don't drink so much, you'll kill yourself," Bai Han said to me. "So what? That might be the best solution," I replied. "Don't say things like that, Felix. There are many people who would miss you very much, there might even be someone who would miss you especially," Bai Han said. "I don't think there is, there is no one," I slurred, and jumped up as fast as I could, grabbed my coat, and tried to run straight to the exit. I only heard Bai Han call out, "Wait, Felix, wait," and when he stood in front of me in front of the bar, I passed out.
I woke to a clattering sound. Where was I? How had I gotten here? Why was I wearing unfamiliar pajamas, and most importantly, why did the bed smell so wonderfully of Bai Han? I bent over and looked through the doorway toward the clattering, and there stood a young man making breakfast. As my eyesight improved after the previous day's drinking binge, the picture became clear: it was Bai Han standing there. So I was in Bai Han's apartment, in Bai Han's bed, in Bai Han's pajamas. Oh my God, what had happened yesterday?
"Oh, you're awake, you little drunk!" said Bai Han, coming into the bedroom. Before I could say anything, Bai Han smiled at me and said, "Right, time for breakfast, you little rascal." "I've laid out some of my things for you to wear. Your clothes reek of alcohol. I know it's not really your style, but it should do in a pinch, right? By the way, I think your style is pretty great." "Ooooh," I grumbled. "Bai Han, what happened? Why didn't you leave me on the street to die, and where did you take your girlfriend?" I whimpered, full of self-pity. By now I was dressed, and we had sat down at the generously set breakfast table. "Felix, I couldn't just leave you like this, you're precious to me. And if you mean Chun, she's my sister, not my girlfriend. She's in Taiwan again after a long time, so we've spent a lot of time together. We have a very close relationship, always had. Oh, Felix, you thought she was my..." Bai Han said, laughing. "Are you laughing at me, Bai?" I asked him. "No, Felix, I thought you'd realize eventually that you're the one I like... well, even more than that, I think I've got a crush on you." At that moment, I no longer cared about any etiquette. I leaned towards Bai Han and we embraced. "Bai, pinch me, I must be dreaming, no, don't pinch me, I want to keep dreaming," I said in a trembling voice. "Felix, you're not dreaming, you silly thing, I'm right here with you and I love you," said Bai Han. "If it's not a dream, Bai, then we can just keep going like this and embrace for all eternity," I said. "Yes, Felix, I wish that too, never to stop embracing you, for all eternity," replied Bai Han. "I love you, I love you, I love you," I cried over and over again.
Of course, we didn't hug forever, but it was quite a long time. From a day when I hated my life to a day when I just wanted to jump for joy, there was only one night in between. A night I spent in Bai Han's bed, but before you get too curious, nothing happened between us that night. I'm only talking about that one night, though. I'd rather not talk about the other nights that followed :-).
So the next day in office we were definitely not able to hide the fact that something was going on between us, or is it normal among colleagues to exchange passionate kisses in the office?
So, the on the following week-end we had our first official date. Walking through the streets of Taipei with my boyfriend by my side was a wonderful feeling. Yes you have heard right, because from this day on we were really boyfriends. And Bai Han also changed his style for me, at least a little bit. But he does not have to, I love him until today just the way he is.
ellievsbear
discoholicmusic
pixelskylines
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
yousharknotpass
snowghoul
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s