Focus on what's real, man.

Ind. Jake the Dog. Sideblog. Written by Hagfisher.

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@stupidcoolfinnparty

“I found an entrance to the soap dungeon. It’s totally bubbles down there.”

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you should try filling your diaper right now. i bet finn or bmo would totally be cool with changing you. right? just let loose, brother

i’m sorry anon but that is seriously gross.

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now that you're in a diaper will you use the diaper

   --“I guess. Then again, it does make things easier for me...”

   --“No more walking over to the toilet for this guy.”

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would you wear a diaper

   --“Yeah! It means I can be a baby, and bein’ that innocent    and able to just sleep all day. Well, I do most of that anyways,    except for bein’ innocent. But we don’t talk about that.”

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Jake if you see a grey bunny with white gloves that would be Bugs Bunny when he meets new people he chomps on his carrot and says what's up doc he can be a rascal and he usually wears girl clothes to trick a wacky hunter named Elmer Fudd and an angry little cowboy named Yosemite Sam remember Bugs Bunny is good because Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam tried to hurt Bugs Bunny.

   --“Awww, I love wascally wabbits.”

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stupidcoolfinnparty

“I need to rethink a lot of my actions…”

   --“We all do, brother.”

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Hey Jake, what do you think of this Tumblr user @heythatsmyuterus? Take a good look at his/her blog.

   --“Well, my farts are pretty powerful.  I’m not    surprised people like pictures of me farting.”

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Jake if you see a pirate with a robot body that would be Princess Unikitty's friend Metalbeard and heres his rules of the sea rule 1 never place your rear end on a pirate's face rule 2 always abandon a lost cause rule 3 never wear a dress on a Tuesday rule 4 never put ye hand in a clam's mouth rule 5 jolly rogers are not for eating and rule 6 never release a kraken.

   --“Oh! Well, okay. Guess those are good rules.”

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Jake if you see a stork wearing a business suit that would be Hunter be careful Hunter could be a major threat to every baby in OOO he would try to bribe Ice King's Penguins and Gunter to kidnapped every baby in the land of OOO in order to get money so if you see a stork wearing a business suit that would be Hunter please stop him.

   --“Baby-napping scum. Got it.”

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stupidcoolfinnparty

“Aw jeez man, this is why I usually avoid hot dogs. You don’t know where that meat’s been!”

“And just ‘cuz you’re willing to shove it in your mouth doesn’t mean you’re into it.”

   --“Nah, man. If you shove something into your mouth,    you’re totally into it. I’ll tell you more about it when    you’re older, though.”

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Jake if you see a cop with two faces that would be Princess Unikitty's friend Good Cop and Bad Cop Good Cop is friendly neighbourhood Police officer who would offer anyone a glass of water while Bad Cop is a strict Police officer who likes to fight chairs but hes a big softie when it comes to his parents.

   --“No fair! I called dibs on bein’ bad cop.”

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stupidcoolfinnparty

“Whoops! My bad.”

   --“You just boned my bones too hard, bro.”

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   --“Don’t punch so hard, bro.”

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“Ya ever try a pizza burrito?"

   –“No. But that sounds like the most rad thing ever.”

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recklessxvulgarxloudmouthed:

“It really is dude. Ya wanna make one?”

   --“Well, yeah. I kinda have to, now that you mentioned it.”

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Jake if you see a black duck that would be Daffy Daffy can be greedy when it comes to gold and jewels there are 2 ways to stop him 1 get strong huge guys to scared him away 2 use anything that could hurt him and before you ask he has loon DNA what i'm talking about is if Daffy ever gets hurt he instantly recovers.

   --“I’m not afraid of usin’ scary things to take care of the greedy guys.”

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“Ya ever try a pizza burrito?"

   --“No. But that sounds like the most rad thing ever.”

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Jake what would you do if The King of OOO returns?

   --“Sock him in his wax pits.”