Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says @picklechairs-blog - Tumblr Blog

"Fourteen poodles under a Christmas tree on a berber carpet"

#the one that started them all #Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #shit this was forever and a half ago #I remember #we were in the car #she was so close to sleep

You are so on me like greasy Kraft cheesy.

#This one's actually a rather fun rhyme to say.#things #Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says

The next question is why I went from that to a king cobra to a floating set of lips.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #Michael Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still

What if you could make dresses out of pink lemonade? It's moving, that's why it's so cool. Like in those commercials for women.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says

Dog penis. It kind of looks like a sea creature. You know, stemmy things that come from the bottom of the ocean. Like when you roll your tongue. What do you call those things?

#The night she would not stop talking about dick for whatever reason #I'm so lost #please send help #and money #yessssss

Do you know what else is not cock junk? Caviar.

#the night she wouldn't stop talking about dick for whatever reason #Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says

You know how some schoolhouses have the big bells? It has lemon lime.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says

"I don't want my mouth to have diseased animals in it because it'll go on your dick. There might be some lettuce on there too."

#The night she couldn't stop talking about dick for whatever reason #Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says

"If it helps, I am currently focused on the blue sky, football, ballet shoes, and tomato sauce. Specifically, the lacing on the football. I think there are some swans in there too. There are spoons."

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #Oh okay.#that's a lot of stuff #wow

"Tears in the ocean. How would you ever know?"

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says

Can't you just take this down like the good word of jesus so you can take it to the good prophets?

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #it should be noted she is not particularly religious #and generally only jokingly goes 'PAIRAIIIISE the GOOD LORD JAYSUS' and stuff like that #so this is not any indication of any particular ideology #or shit like that #yo #diggity #dawg

Ten 'suneta' of Darth Vater. With pinapples and cupcakes that are cool.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #what the flying fuck is a 'suneta'#and how much are ten worth #and why is the good lord Vader in on it #When I took this down in my phone weeks ago it said 'vater' like father in german #hmmmm

You're flying like the fucking Peter Pan. I'm Wheezing.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #Oh okay thenn

He has a really pleasant dog that is smiling like a human smiles,,, so maybe it's not that pleasant after all.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #this is the stuff of nightmares right here

I'm glad we have confetti though. There's a dead body. It is covered in confetti. He's from the KKK. Took off his hat, he's an outlet. For the wall. But he's white. I want to make that clear. I wonder what else he's up to. Man, that's a lot of cereal with icecream milk. He's got a mohawk now. DO YOU EVER WORRY ABOUT ME?

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #I have to admit #sometimes I almost do #but I love you so much it doesn't really matter #weird ass subconcious and all

Fourteen Fest is not a real thing. A dentist should not be next to a steakhouse, especially if you own both of them.

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #the next few are all said in rapid fire after this one. I shit you not #real estate #this is probably true though

Why is Greg Mexican? Or is he just short?

#Shit My Sleeping Girlfriend Says #the next few are all said in rapid fire after this one. I shit you not

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