young and beautiful @pickupyourbootheels - Tumblr Blog

funny enough this is my all time favorite spot in the entire world. but the view from the top of those stairs is what gets me every time

gonna-be-luminous

the-science-llama

chris-evans

relatable

lovlae

i want to live in a cozy apartment in the city that has big windows and exposed brick walls with my best friend and we’ll live life and work on our careers and drink coffee in our underwear at 3 in the morning together

pickupyourbootheels

this used to be my dream years ago and i’m proud to say that it is now my reality :)

mitski-miyawakis

story time.

beyondplusultra

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

updatepls-deactivated20180722

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

localgays2

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

“Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.” And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

katjohnadams

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

muffintop-malachite-deactivated

I’m actually crying

just feeling like writing tonight as i lay on my back on my couch in my little new york apartment. i can’t remember the last time i’ve ever written something personal on tumblr, and it’s not like i even use this site anymore, but maybe this is the start of a diary-esque usage of my tumblr. i’ve had this thing since i was in middle school and i remember being so obsessed with it. nowadays, i don’t think a fraction of the blogs i follow are even active anymore, which is sort of depressing. a part of me gave up this site years ago, but it always felt like a permanent piece of my middle school depression, a relic of what i overcame or maybe breezed by. i can’t even remember at this point. but regardless, tumblr, even as a tiny bookmark on my internet browser, was a core piece of nostalgia for me. did i ever decide to click on it? rarely. could i have deleted the bookmark years ago and not thought much of it? certainly. but would i want it removed? absolutely not. it’s like a permanent footnote of my adolescence. like is it the first thing i think of when i think of my teen years? nah, not really. but goddamnit if it doesn't cut it close. so many of my thoughts and ideas morphed and were thrown onto this site. it’s important to me. the fact that my current avatar/icon/photo of my blog is a picture of my from my junior year of college when i studied abroad is hysterical. i wish i kept all of my pictures from my younger years on here instead, like a virtual time capsule. tumblr feels like an emotional punching-bag. I come back to it whenever i need to throw shit around, never because i’m bored or want to check the blogs i once eagerly followed. it’s more of a comfort zone. a place where i can every so often just see what my feed even looks like. maybe it’s all bots and ads and weird shit that’s been absorbed from years of misuse. and to be fair, a lot of it is. which in it’s own way is quite distressing. so many forgotten blogs which once were rife with activity. posts, videos, creative content. i remember loving photography, the male nude, alternative music, a shit ton of skins gifs. ridiculous in hindsight but so important for the time i actively used it. i craved the constant content that i would catch myself up on every night.

i’ve had so many things run through my head recently, whether it had to do with my apartment), my roommates, my friends, the fucking pandemic that’s currently sucking the marrow from our country... i can’t tell you. i’ve screamed at so many of my friends this last week over my complete lack of direction. not like they can give me great advice, but i don’t expect them to. i need to vent, to get it out. i always feel that i understand others, but that others don’t always understand me. cliche and idiotic at twenty-three years old, but it’s what i’ve come to realize. and i hate that. i hate thinking that i put myself on a certain unattainable pedestal that no one can reach, while others should pine for my presence, to be understood by me. idk, maybe these thoughts are just streamlining tonight and are complete gibberish. most of this isn’t something i’d normally express. but idk... if i had the vocabulary, the right words, the ability to express what i feel openly, i don’t think i’d be me. i like keeping it private, having my thoughts somewhat obscure and cluttered. i like the complexity and constant internal questioning. what do i want? who do i want? where can i go? do i even want to leave?

08/15/20

#thoughts