we're not kids anymore.
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Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@pieties
Kirsten Dunst wearing Phoebe Philo
“You write the beginning and then you go back and rewrite the beginning, and you never got off page one. It’s kind of a syndrome, and I have a rash piece of advice which is — Go on, page two, page three, and never look back. Get something finished, no matter how lousy it is. […] Perfectionists cannot get going unless they kind of do violence to their own instincts, and just blast ahead.”
— Ursula K. Le Guin, The Last Interview and Other Conversations
wishing you a safe return back to yourself
refusal to participate due to self consciousness is actually more embarrassing than participating. it took me a very long time to figure that out. abject fear of embarrassment is actually causing you to do things that are more embarrassing than what you fear. you are gonna be embarrassed anyway. let go and be free
the art of not being ready and doing it anyway will take you far
John Steinbeck, East of Eden
the problem is I want to be a force
I'm tired of talking about my Feelings and and Other People's Feelings...... I'm also tired of talking about Movies and Celebrities.... music and art I'm still good with though. What I'm trying to say is I just want to throw axes and go on hikes and talk about SOMETHING ELSE cuz I have nothing else to contribute to those topics right now
So many people are sexually free and I am not.... I don't want to talk about sex anymore until I have it again
Something I used to do to try to attract people to me/see if they're interested was actively show my interest + try to make plans or whatver 2-3 times, to see if they're genuinely too busy OR if they just don't want to make any time for me... like if I'm blown off 3 times in a row, the latter is obvious. And then I withdraw/detach because... that feels like the natural thing to do for my own peace? Duh? And then I move on... but for some reason after I withdraw and detach, they want to see me again? It's perplexing to say the least. Doesn't feel like power in any way, it's just frustrating because you haven't shown me interest or care, but you want it back from me when it's no longer available to you? And I don't even want your company anymore? Why are people weeiiirrdddd
There are places deep in the earth where the water is crystal clear or it would be, if there were any light. All of the sediment, all of the dust has settled long ago. All of the gasses have escaped. These hidden volumes of water, like houses. Like the space between bridges. The space between you and the sky. Huge empty spaces that are not empty. Frozen glass. The water is still. The water is silent. The water is transparent as the mountain air on a starless, moonless, windless night.
Last night dancing I saw a vision of myself as hot, talented, happy, secure, with tons of friends
Also realized some of this is already true <3
In this environment where time is transformed into abstract, exactly measurable, physical space, an environment at once the cause and effect of the scientifically and mechanically fragmented and specialised production of the object of labour, the subjects of labour must likewise be rationally fragmented. On the one hand, the objectification of their labour-power into something opposed to their total personality (a process already accomplished with the sale of that labour-power as a commodity) is now made into the permanent ineluctable reality of their daily life. Here, too, the personality can do no more than look on helplessly while its own existence is reduced to an isolated particle and fed into an alien system. On the other hand, the mechanical disintegration of the process of production into its components also destroys those bonds that had bound individuals to a community in the days when production was still "organic." In this respect, too, mechanisation makes of them isolated abstract atoms whose work no longer brings them together directly and organically; it becomes mediated to an increasing extent exclusively by the abstract laws of the mechanism which imprisons them.
György Lukács, "Reification and the Consciousness of the Proletariat" in History and Class Consciousness