melancholic voice
restless lethargy
craving peace and movement at the same time
wonder if solace is found in solitude or in confidence
styofa doing anything
Today's Document

JVL
Game of Thrones Daily
Misplaced Lens Cap
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
No title available

#extradirty

Andulka

if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
wallacepolsom
No title available
Peter Solarz

pixel skylines

Kiana Khansmith

⁂

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Not today Justin

seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia

seen from Türkiye

seen from Türkiye

seen from Singapore
seen from Malaysia

seen from Singapore
seen from T1

seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Indonesia

seen from Türkiye

seen from Singapore
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seen from Sweden
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seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
@pilgrimdays
melancholic voice
restless lethargy
craving peace and movement at the same time
wonder if solace is found in solitude or in confidence
Banana bread
Makes 1 loaf
110g unsalted butter
180g caster sugar
2 large eggs
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
2.5 medium bananas
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
Chopped walnuts
Instructions
Heat oven to 240 degrees celsius and prep baking pan
Melt butter and cool
Combine butter and sugar - whisk until just combined
Crack eggs and whisk until mixture is smooth
Stir in milk and vanilla essence
Mash in the bananas to desired chunkiness
Add flour, baking soda and salt (switch to a spatula and stir until no dry flour is visible - do not mix excessively)
Fold in walnuts
Bake for 50-65 mins of until the top of the cake ie caramelised brown with some yellow interior peering through
Cool before serving
Artisanal Pizza
makes 1 medium pizza
250g all-purpose flour
1 packet of instant yeast
1.5 teaspoon sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoon olive oil
175ml warm water
Instructions
Combine flour, yeast, sugar and salt
Add olive oil and water - stir until dough becomes cohesive and elastic
Drizzle a separate, large bowl with olive oil
Dust hands with flour and transfer dough into the bowl
Roll dough to coat with oilve oil
Cover with plastic wrap and sit in warm place until the dough doubles in size (dough test: the dough should spring back when poked)
Knead until smooth and start to shape the dough
Transfer dough to a parchment paper lined pizza pan and pinch the edges to form crust
Brush olive oil over the dough
Poke holes over the center of pizza
Add toppings, bake at 215 degrees celsius until brown
Toppings
hoisin sauce, smoked duck, spinach/argula + cheese
tomato puree, mushrooms, spinach, bacon + cheese
tomato puree, sausage, basil + cheese
Smoked Duck and Orange Salad
Vinaigrette
Squeeze 1-2 large oranges and measure the amount of orange juice produced
Add the equivalent amount of olive oil, and half the amount of apple cider vinegar. Whisk until combined. Add honey to balance the acidity, salt to taste.
Salad
Salad mix (arugula, spinach, romaine lettuce, mesclun)
1-2 smoked duck breasts
Walnut and dried cranberries to top
Pumpkin soup
Serves 10
Stock: Chop 2 onions, 2 carrots, 4 celery stalks, mushroom stems (if any), roasted chicken neck into a pot. Cover with water and boil for about an hour. Add herbs, salt and pepper to taste. Add water and continue to simmer.
2 teaspoon oil
4 tablespoon butter
2 medium onion (sliced)
2 large cloves garlic (minced)
1.5 kg pumpkin (cubed)
3 potatoes (cubed)
8 cups of stock
1 cup of cooking cream
Salt, pepper and herb to taste
Heat oil over small flame to prevent browning the base of pot
Melt butter and cook onion, garlic until softened and aromatic
Roast pumpkin and potato until semi-browned
Add stock (including carrots and some onions) until all ingredients are immersed. Cover and simmer until tender.
Turn off heat and blend until smooth.
Put on flame to warm; stir in cream and serve.
on my way home
Told mama I took leave to 思考人生 and she laughed.
Its been 2 years, since I took time to breathe and consider my course of journey and where I'm headed. So this was what I did - took time off not to run errands or catch up on sleep, but to think. As though a timely wake-up call, a good friend of mine posted this on IG:
"(Luke 21:34-36) Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you suddenly like a trap. For it will come on all those who lives on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about the happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."
I dont know when this started, but I have become so accustomed and contented with life that the hope of heaven doesnt captivate me as much as it used to. Why should I be a stranger here on earth when it welcomes me with open arms? Should eternal life be important to me?
Eternal life - aionios - refers to both quality and quantity. It is independent of the concept of time and does not take place only at the end of our time on earth. From John 3:36, "whoever believes in the Son has (present tense) eternal life" and John 17:3 "now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent" -- a believer of Christ has come into possession of eternity, and it is considered through our standing in Christ that is defined by a true, personal knowledge of God and of the Son. How then do you know if you are in possession of such an eternal life?
John Piper writes about the Barometer of Self-Satisfaction and suggests that we will be able to tell through our prayer life. How frequent do you earnestly seek to desire to know Christ deeper? How about your passion for the transformative power of the Holy Spirit within you?
I miss the days of intimacy with you Father. How do I get back on track to loving and desiring the fountain of life?
"Spiritual formation is the work of God. It is not about our giftedness or our grit. It is his loving, divine initiative. Spiritual formation is essentially an inner life journey. It is not about performance. It is not merely about duties and disciplines. God is first and foremost at work in our inner life."
Father, thank you for being the Great Initiator. You've created us, you've orchestrated the great redemption story, you've pursued each of us to say yes to your ways, and continue to woo us towards eternal life. Thank you for your boundless love that leads us away from the abyss of death. Father help me to see things the way you do. Atune me once more to consider your ways and recognise what is holy and good. If you will, lead me into intimacy and may your Holy Spirit fill me with your presence and power once more. I'm not a worthy vessel, but Jesus your blood has cleansed and filled me. So, so thankful for your goodness Lord.
Lead me home.
one of those nights with bandwidth to ponder.
steady heart;
sing your song.
a life of responsibility, and its blessing
Pastor Ian from 3:16 church spoke today on celebrating life - the sanctity of sex, parenthood and inspiring hope. In gist, the legacy mindset, and sex as consent to parenthood. The blessing of God, including (and especially so) the blessing of children, comes with the burden of care.
His words struck a chord.
In a month’s time, I’ll turn 25. In yet another few months, I'll turn 2 in the organisation (aka no more excuses for silly mistakes). I’m expected, and ought to be, a useful, contributing member of society. Coupled with impending marriage and naturally soon after, parenthood — the thought of responsibility weighs down heavy.
The future is dependent on us. Can you imagine that? The fate of generations after us will be based on the values we are building, the decisions we are making, the lifestyle we are choosing today. If we hope for continued success, what kind of person shall we cultivate today to attain that legacy? Our generation has been immensely blessed. We grew up with a silver spoon, having tasted nothing but the fruits of good governance and stability. Many of us don't know hard work, and suffering feels remote. Most of us were enjoying the riches of first-world complacency when the pandemic took us by surprise (guilty as charged).
It is said that crisis reveals and forces us to examine the cracks. Work provided the privilege of glimpsing behind the curtains of business and economy. It is clear that we’re standing at the cusp of a major change. For years, I4.0 has been the buzz word - digitalisation, automation/autonomous technology, big data etc is expected to transform the way things are done. The pandemic obviously accelerated its demand; even my analog-preferred-parents are adapting to the world of e-commerce! We seem en route to the the next industrial revolution that will further standard of living and quality of life. Rosy picture of tech-enabled living but what would be extent of casualty in its process? A friend aptly said “we were probably prepared for recession; but not a pandemic AND recession.”
With time, Covid-19 will ease. A vaccine, or an immunity jab will be developed. However, picking up the pieces of neglected economies and the unemployment levels we are already seeing... every day my conversation with business owners point to the importance of employment and the lives that are tied to each pay check. How many are struggling with survival, and how many more will fall through the cracks of progress? Today’s message was like a light that came on and my floating thoughts assembled together like puzzle pieces. it would be my generation that would see through the recovery and into the next sustained peak. If our self-serving culture continues to perpetuate the society, are we ready to be legacy builders?
I’m not a scholar nor a management associate. Not a particularly bright spark. I may never make important decisions that will influence the lives of many or direct the course of an organisation as a stakeholder. Even though my impact may be limited, I pray that God would fan the flames of my sense of ownership towards building a meaningful legacy, starting from cultivating values within me that will hopefully point my children and grandchildren towards a life of contribution. I’m thankful, that the laws of our society is founded upon the ‘duty of care’ - and prayerfully, may more of us look further beyond ourselves.
conversation with my Maker - circa end 2018
God: “Do I not want you to succeed?”
Me: “Why, yes Lord. I think you do; your word says so.”
God: “You’re right. I want you to succeed, and I’ve given you the rules to success.
Why aren’t you following them?”
Deuteronomy 30
Prosperity After Turning to the Lord
1 When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come on you and you take them to heart wherever the Lord your God disperses you among the nations,2 and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, 3 then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you.4 Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back.5 He will bring you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors. 6 The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. 7 The Lord your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you.8 You will again obey the Lord and follow all his commands I am giving you today. 9 Then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, 10 if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.
The Offer of Life or Death
11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?”13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?”14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.
15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.16 For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.
19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
the good that comes from boredom
Its the 13th day of the 28-day Circuit Breaker measure put in place to arrest the spread of Covid-19 in Singapore.
Amidst the occasional work stress from work-from-home adjustments (more anxiety-inducing than I’d thought) and new covid-related tasks, the past 13 days were pure boredom. I’ve always thought myself to be an introvert who prefers to curl up with a book in the comfort of my home, but turns out, sipping coffee in a comfy cafe with a book was better. I was restless, bored, and frankly, patience wearing thin from the daily question of ‘what shall we have for lunch/dinner’; the humidity really wasnt helping either. I resorted to watching 3 separate drama series to pass time and got bored of them too. One afternoon I simply laid on the floor staring at the ceiling because I felt like there was absolutely nothing that I could do. Having been used to busying around all my life, I’ve never felt as empty as I did.
But good came out from the boredom:
The realisation that for a long while now, I have not spent time on productive and meaningful things. We are made for purpose, for meaningful engagement in activities and people. Of course i was bored! I was not made to glued to Netflix all day. So, a few days ago, I decided that not to waste my life further and set my mind to engage in at least one productive thing each day (exercising, doing chores, experimenting in the kitchen, etc) and it has been great!
In God’s manner of on-the-job training, He brought home the realisation through Chris Hodges, Paster of Church of the Highlands when my lifegroup streamed one of his sermons Running with the Giants: Samson.
Just like Samson who repeatedly made choices contrary to God’s call on his life, we can be blind to God’s purpose for our life. Going through life without a clear sense of ‘my life has meaning and purpose’ affects our choices. When we don’t see God’s vision for our lives, we are in danger of settling for an earthly counterfeit.
Samson’s life story encourages us that failure is not final. In Judges 16:28, Samson prayed to the Lord “Sovereign Lord, remember me. Please, God, strengthen me just once more...” and God did exactly just that. Samson finished the race well and made it to the Hall of Fame.
It doesn’t matter how I started my circuit breaker, or in the larger scheme of things, the choices I’ve been making. Finishing well matters more and I intend to cultivate habits that will develop an understanding of God’s purpose and call on my life. No more ‘staring at the ceiling!
Ending off with a momento of that fateful afternoon, and 2 other small thoughts swimming in my head:
(1) Reduce fast fashion choices for a more sustainable lifestyle.
(2) Support local because strong SMEs strengthens the nation’s economic foundation.
— thank you Jesus, for being there and tuning boredom to good.
muse
hot chai in paper cup, sunlight streaming in from floor to ceiling windows... I’ll miss this place when I graduate. the baristas make really good drinks too.
the heart is greedy and it yearns for many things. one day it prefers wide expense of nothing, and in another rush of the moment, it enjoys being alone in the bustling.
I don’t know about you, but I find it strangely comforting to be alone in the presence of strangers. We are disconnected by the minding of personal business — yet connected by proximity and a similar state of being bubbled up by the desire to be left alone.
Perhaps there’s some kind of connection between wide expense and bustling too. The setting may greatly differ, but the same experience fills you. Smallness amidst greatness — you may begin to question existence or, you may be thankful to be existing; you may feel right at home or completely out of place.
It’s amazing, this connectedness. Each of us just one, but a sum of the total.
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If I can have a Superpower, I would like to be able to live in another’s body for a day. I would spend the day stalking myself just to observe how I’m like through the eyes on someone else. I would like to find out if what I think of myself is an accurate presentation of myself or if I’m a sad disillusioned person who thinks a world of myself when I’m not who I think I am.
a rush of thoughts, and then empty again.
as I grow a little older, I realise that... there are more things I’m afraid of.
maybe because the stakes are higher now, and there are more to lose. or maybe because aging (who am I kidding) makes one a little more sentimental. of late I’ve been thinking about hawker centres, dying trades and dying traits. while waiting for my kopi C kosong (oh god, it’s just yesterday. honestly it felt like last week) and watching auntie do her thing, I had to snap a picture because I was suddenly afraid that this may one day disappear. though I like a good flat white, kopi c kosong is an essential I'd like to grow old to. on a separate irrelevant but not so irrelevant note, people say that when you start to drink kosong, it really means 你老了. Funny tho, that its the youngsters who like Americano — though for a completely different reason.
I start to have considerations I didn't use to have. boundary lines somehow don’t fall so clearly anymore and I find myself in places I haven't had in a very long time. If I might suggest, I think this is adult puberty. when your thoughts are not so coherent again, sometimes feelings overwhelm; yet at times, fiercely rational. you find yourself grappling over and over again to find your footing — just as you thought you’ve found your center — you lose it again. if this really is adult puberty, I pray, may the lights guide me home.
food catalogue: brownies
FUDGY
1 stick unsalted butter
1 1/3 cup sugar (can reduce)
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/2 cup all purpose (or plain) flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
Instructions
Preheat oven to 175°C. Line baking pan with parchment paper; set aside.
Melt butter.
Whisk butter and sugar together in a medium-sized bowl (1 min)
Add eggs and vanilla; beat until lighter in colour (1 min)
Add flour, cocoa powder and salt
Gently fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients until JUST combined
Pour batter into prepared pan. Smooth out the top.
Bake for 22-25 minutes or until the centre of brownies no longer jiggles and is just set to the touch. If testing with a toothpick, the toothpick should come out dirty for fudge-textured brownies.
Remove and allow to cool to room temperature before slicing.
NOTE — FOR FUDGY BROWNIES
Preheat well
Whisk butter and sugar really well
Beat eggs for a good minute for crackly top
Do NOT over beat batter once the flour and cocoa powder are added
Do NOT over bake them! 21-25 minutes is good
Let it cool completely before cutting
CHEWY
1 stick of butter
1 ¼ cup white sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 eggs
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
Instructions
Preheat oven to 175 degrees C. Melt butter. Lightly grease baking dish.
Beat eggs and vanilla; add in melted butter until thoroughly blended.
Sift the flour, cocoa powder, sugar and salt in a bowl.
Combine wet and dry ingredients
Bake until an inserted toothpick comes out clean, 20-25 mins.
Turn off heat and keep pan in oven for 5 more mins.
Remove, and cool pan on wire rack before cutting.
life lessons.
An incident this week led me to experience how precious and important it is for spiritual covering by God-fearing believers who are connected to God and His word. It gave me insight into the possible workings of spiritual covering that trickles downwards through accountability, sharpening the beauty and sacredness of the otherwise misunderstood a-word.
When accountability is removed in the name of 'privacy' and 'it’s personal so I can’t say and I won’t say', we're essentially removing the said party from the benefit and blessing of being under spiritual covering! That’s doing more harm than good, really. Increasingly, I am of opinion that discipleship is to a community affair — none of us know enough to take full responsibility over someone's life, so why not tap into a collective wisdom and anointing that God has given to us? Perhaps then, each body part can be more effective in carrying out his/her Christian responsibilities.
I think I have, on a couple of levels, neglected the covering of those God has entrusted to me. Sorry Father, for I have not been a faithful enough steward. I am not diligent in praying for them, I'm not diligent in checking in on them as well. thank you for your grace that has carried me through thus far and will continue to carry me through. I am your humble servant with nothing much to offer, but you've graciously said that your grace is sufficient. Thank you — for you are faithful even when I am not playing my part — you've been drawing your beloved closer to yourself and I'm glad, to have the privilege to witness them. You're a good good Father, and You alone are the initiator and sustainer of our individual relationships with you.
Thankful as well for my mentor — I sought her advice and confirmation on a particular matter and found myself repeating certain wisdom that she has imparted word-for-word ( if not, the key words), to someone else who needed to hear it. How privileged! To glean from the wealth of wisdom that comes with her years of experiences and connection with God, to prevent myself and others from falling head on into traps that are not so unique after all. Thankful, but also made cautious — very, cautious — as well. There is heightened awareness that this task of being an overseer is indeed noble. Each word, each teaching, each impartation have the ability to impact not only one, but it has profound impact on the next person, the next next person, and the next next next person... You become an authority of some sorts, and the words you speak — they hold weight. As mentors and disciple-makers, we have the ability to impact the strength of spiritual legacy that is far greater, more direct than we can ever imagine. Regardless of our preference, or the kind of influence we think we have, it happens.
So then, what do we impart? Are we careful with the words we say, the things we do, the lives we live? Do we first and foremost take lead from God? Do we test our beliefs against God's and reconcile all areas to be in agreement with Him? Do we model what it looks like to love and honour God in our decision-making? Does the narrative of our lives speak of men and women who stare down giants with relentless trust and faith in the One who is Sovereign and strong? What kind of letter of Christ are we — to both believers and non-believers? Does the light of Christ shine through? Do we love God and love people with our all? Do we inspire someone else to love God a little harder, to be a little more selfless in loving others?
Though nothing is to be done for performance, all should be done for the edification of another. Everything we do — even more so for disciple-makers — ought to be done with sincerity to both God and man, with full intent to glorify and honour God with our lives, for this is our true and proper worship.
2 Corinthians 3:3 —
You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.
Your life is the most powerful testimony of God. Please, let us all be on guard, to lead lives that honours God in private and in public. 一言既出,驷马难追
Whether we are a pastor, president, or housewife, we are all in danger of being wooed, outwitted, and overpowered by sin.
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“We are tempted to think that the more powerful we become, the better we will battle sin. But the exact opposite is true. The more power, influence, or prestige we possess, the more temptable we are. The strength of sin feeds on our sense of strength.”