[pillageddeath]

so      i      got      locked      out      of      seacrrested      so      i      am      .      .      .      back      to      nesta      for      the      timebeing.

[pillageddeath]

(  tw  /  /  emotional abuse, emotional abuse during childhood, slight physical abuse )  about to sleep, but younger nesta is all i can think about. just this younger archeron trotting through the manor on chubby legs, with the most crystalline, stunning eyes. and what makes this heartbreaking to me, at least, is how open her eyes had been when she’d been so young. they’d been unguarded, so pure, so full of light. so different compared to what they looked like during the acotar series, when they’d been shuttered and filled with cunning and grief and rage. back then, before she’d grown into the creature that her mother and grandmother had crafted her to be, she’d simply just been .  .  .  nesta. and that’s what sits with me. she’d been trusting and kind and pure, but it had all been taken from her, bit by bit, until she learned how to avoid the stings that her grandmother deliver and the sharp criticism of her mother. nesta never truly had the chance to live, ever. her whole life was made by those around her, and by the time the family lost their fortune, she .  . . didn’t know how to live. didn’t know how to stay afloat in this ocean of emotion and pain and rage unless she used her anger to keep her from going adrift. nesta did not know true happiness, not in the slightest, until acosf. and it hurts me to really sit here and just  .  .  . really sit and think about how truly withdrawn from the world she had been.

[pillageddeath]

hi  !  !  i see that the acotar fandom has grown an insane amount since i went on a break, so i want to give a disclaimer sort of post while i get my graphics and revamp going. i will not interact with blogs that refuse to acknowledge the problematic tendencies of sarah j maas, and this is unquestionable. i personally love nesta, i’ve been with sarah j maas as a reader since 2013 ( quite literally when throne of glass was published, my librarian put me on the book because i loved assassins and fantasy ), but i absolutely have seen problematic themes within sarah’s books and would like to touch upon that and ensure that my followers also acknowledge that.

moving on. i will not be interacting with any whitewashed muses from the acotar series, and that includes: rhysand, cassian, azriel, thesan, lucien, helion, miryam, drakon, emerie and many more. these muses are coded to be people of color, some also outright stated. there are tons of poc faceclaims that are available, and if you have trouble finding any fitting ones just shoot me a message and i’ll help you out. furthermore, i will not be interacting with any anti nesta or lucien blogs, and i ship elucien. if you dislike elucien in favor of elriel, i absolutely don’t mind. we all have our ships and that is super normal. i just don’t want to see ship wars on my dash or anything like that.

other disclaimers / rules / opinions include no callouts/disrespecting others/copying material, no bullying, all of that fun jazz. the standard rules also apply with me, but i wanted to make an acotar verse specific post because while i’ve been on break, i’ve been in the verse since the first book dropped and have never seen it at this size and want to ensure any of my followers are on the same page as me. <3 moving past that, my name’s mar, im 22, and i’m in the pst zone. my ims are open and i absolutely look forward to writing with y’all.

[pillageddeath]

nesta’s tarot card is absolutely death, and i can’t find anything else fitting her ? nesta’s character is firmly uprooted in her journey and her climbing this mountain for years and years before finally making it to the top. the old nesta needed to die for nesta to find who she is now, as seen at the end of acosf. she’s symbolized by rebirth and growth and transition, and tie that into her power and her still containing embers of it . . . her tarot card is 100% death tbh. can even write a meta ab this.

[pillageddeath]

me trying to continuously revamp vs me also having insane graphic burnout from twitter rp and not knowing where the hell to begin with nesta because she is so prECIOUS to me and i only want the best graphics on here 

[pillageddeath]

helLO

[pillageddeath]

it kind of stings ? ? or feels weird when you try to join a fandom n it doesn’t work out . no one’s obligated to interact nor follow ( which i absolutely understand ) , but it does make me pause n wonder what it is ab my blog , or writing . anyways . i’m back here ! ! also thinking of archiving this blog and moving to a new one because i’ve had this blog for years .

[pillageddeath]

❛  06 .   a  kiss  during  a  fight . + ❛  27 .   a  kiss  to  end  the  sexual  tension . // YOU DIDNT SEE THIS. 😳 DO NOT PERCEIVE ME.

she enjoys his voice when he's upset - - - let him see how SHE feels , trapped into the corner like a wolf , in this loveless marriage that has been forced upon her , shackling her to him like a mere ANIMAL . it does not matter that there have been moments of kindness , rare shared glances over dinner and the other silently allowing what would've been an argument to drop . right now , all there is to her is overwhelming fury and the vague sensation that perhaps he is playing the same game as her . and it adds to the feeling that she is losing control , and then there is that matter of how when he clenches his jaw or looks at her with his eyes near stormy she feels something shift in her body , feels the need to near clamp her thighs together to ignore what she knows is want . it is always anger and then lust , and then silence . the two do not know how to do anything else , how to attempt to perceive the other in a lens that is not clouded by their past and the desire they have to remain independent , IN CONTROL .

her eyes narrow at his words , and there are the usual retorts that surface , the words that are barbed and as lethal as any knife , and she knows that if she is to wield them they will hit true , and sink into him as surely as they have in the past . she considers her options , mulling over the most vicious ones of all before she stills at the sight of his arms straining against his shirt . another pause , and her mouth dries , and it takes one look at the handsome features that she'd grown to both despise and lust after before she LUNGES . her kiss is not gentle , but a claiming , hungry and somewhat rough and a promise of how she wants this argument to end . ❛  stop talking .   ❜ she bites out , the words a murmur against his lips . and that is that .

[pillageddeath]

❛  15 .   a  kiss  that  comes  out  of  nowhere . // cassy boy

it's rare that she rises before him . the world is often not hers until the periwinkle sky is chased away by the kind embrace of the sun , and despite the practice sessions that creep closer and closer to dawn , she still tends to rise when his side of the bed is cold . but not today , she notes with smug satisfaction . a hand is extended , and she brushes at a tendril of hair that had fallen onto his face . it is a gesture that hints at intimacy , one she would have shied away from months ago , but he is her mate . she is his and he is hers . anything else would be unthinkable , UNBEARABLE . his eyes flutter open at her touch and her smile is as bright as the dawn . a gentle , chaste kiss is pressed against his lips before she shifts in his arms . ❛  good morning .   ❜

[pillageddeath]

my nesta right now is rusty, yes, but ! i never got to make a post ab the parallels between the nesta i developed n acosf nesta ? ? it felt very . . . nice in a way to see that a lot of what i set as headcanons a year or two before acosf were made canon ! ! besides a thread that me n lacey wrote essentially being a chapter in the book , it was the way i essentially had the relationship w her mom down to the t , and mentioned that she did learn how to dance , n how she truly pushed cassian away because she blamed herself for the loss of her parents n father , n how she didn’t want to be responsible for losing him too . i’ve never had a muse that i related to and understood so well , but seeing my writing and my headcanons for her essentially being canon . . . it’s one of the best feelings a writer can have . 🥺

[pillageddeath]

( @evermxre​ ) - - - she can’t remember if she’s ever sought him out , if she’s ever attempted to speak to him without the intention of making him absolutely miserable ( if she is to be shackled to him , then he is to feel her wrath ) , yet here she is . she stiffens at the door of his studies , lips pressing into a firm line before she pushes it open . her mouth twitches to one side once she catches sight of him , HER HUSBAND . while he has his uses ( quite capable in the bedroom ) , this is not a marriage she otherwise would have wanted , would have sought out . but she would do well to remember this is not one of the novels she fills herself on ; life , it seems , does not consist of happy endings . her mother , with her schemes , had seen to that .         ❛  how am I to have a parcel sent here ?   ❜     no good afternoon , no kindness . the only kindness he’d ever received from her was lips brushing against his collarbones , his neck . that was the only language the two shared when they were not sparring verbally , or if they sought out the comfort that they shared with their bodies . that was what it was , even if she rejected it , even when she pretended that he was nothing more than a male that she would torment . however , it was a truth even she could not handle .        ❛  MY DARLING HUSBAND .   ❜     she adds as an afterthought , the words overly saccharine , almost dripping with honey . 

[pillageddeath]

sanktasolis·:

@pillageddeath

“ funny i have nothing to prove to you, “ coldly, the response is aimed at the other - and alina has never backed down from a fight before, and likely never would. “ it’s almost like you aren’t in charge. “

nesta archeron’s answering smile is colder than the gap between stars , and her wrath is infinite ; she stiffens before turning , a queen appearing before her court . she may not be the squaller nazyalensky , but she is heartrender archeron , with a vicious temper and even crueler grasp over a power that is DEATHKISSED . her eyes are stormy when they settle on the meek sunsummoner ( who seems pathetic to her , like a kitten lost from her litter ) and her silence is without limit . silence is a weapon , one that signals patience and mastery over emotion , and more often than not , is used well to intimidate others . nesta excelled in her studies and the darkling , it seemed , was her favorite teacher .         ❛  and are you in charge ?   ❜     croons nesta , picking at a nonexistent speck of lint on her kefta .         ❛  are you capable of keeping me quiet , SUNSUMMONER ?   ❜     she turns to the other heartrenders that surround her , likely the nastiest grisha in the keep . she was a reflection of her company , of those that had her turned her into the warped , cruel version of herself now .         ❛  i can still smell the orphanage on you . are the showers here not to your liking ? or were there no showers there at all for you ?   ❜     

[pillageddeath]

The one time I wrote with u I about died bc Nesta fckn archeron. I fangirled before. I cannot stop fangirling always. You're such a gifted writer and Nesta shines through your words and it's a beautiful thing to read ♡♡

[pillageddeath]

*totally anon* I love you as a writer and you?? Have such an amazing passion for the characters you pick and I can feel the love you have for nesta and the time you’ve put into her development

[softeyelashes-deactivated201808]

for every 🥝 i get, i’ll recommend a blog i love

[taggedmemes]

SEND IN HEADCANON + A WORD / PHRASE FOR A RELEVANT HEADCANON ABOUT MY MUSE.

[pillageddeath]

i have assembled ... the valkyrie ...