i know i shouldn’t have gone with you. i knew it. stay unattainable mk. but then you texted me and i knew you had me again right there. i loved the fact that you wanted me even for a split second or just a night, things were normal.
..... but then , over whiskey breathe and slurred words, you told me you loved me .. twice. it broke me because i knew it wasn’t true, i knew it and i had to look at you with your drunk smug sexy smile and tell you “no you don’t”. i wanted to eat my words, i wanted to yell and scream that you can’t say those words to me anymore !!! but i woke up the next morning, completely entangled in you and it was warm and felt like home, even for just a visit. and you just continued to lay there with me, sober this time... sober and holding me like you missed me. and maybe you did , maybe you had a quick flashback to when we were happy and for a slight moment you wanted to relive that.. maybe that’s why i went home with you too. to relive us for just another night.
i went home the next morning. i didn’t feel bad, i didn’t loose my self esteem , i didn’t cry out of pain and sorrow. i knew what we were going into that night, that’s why i didn’t flinch when you said those three words. but i also know, i had all the power that night. all i had to do was get you inside and leave but you told me to stay. you told me you think about me and i’m crazy to think you didn’t. and i liked it. i liked hearing that maybe on the off chance he meant what he said , maybe he did miss me. and i know i should text you and tell you this can’t happen again because you don’t mean what you say when your drunk, that’s what you’ll tell me atleast. whether you’re lying to yourself or me, i don’t know but i’ve moved on enough to not stick around and find out. so cheers to you kenyon, you said you loved me but this time, only a part of me aches for it. because now i know it isn’t true, and now i know how loose that word comes to you and now i know i have to say goodbye because if you did love me, if you did miss me , it doesn’t matter because you’re doing nothing about it.
