Hewoooo! Welcome to my blog! I write fics foooorrrr whoever I'm currently obsessed with. Mainly, though, it'll be Levi, Zanka, and Chishiya stuff. I write xreader stuff! Here's a few things about me:
Name: Sophia
Age: 19
Pronouns: she/her
Nationality: Filipino!
Ao3: PingguinBirb
Taglists: Just lmk if you want to be tagged!
Do I take requests?: YESSS but ofc I dunno when I can get them done exactly, and I'll put on my bio when requests are open or closed.
NSFW or SFW?: For the most part, posts on this blog is sfw (just don't check my likes). I don't usually write nsfw stuff just because I'm not that used to it yet. If I ever do, it'll be tagged properly and will have the proper warnings!
Requests Guidelines:
Allowed: xreaders, any genre, pls stick to people I write for so I don't egregiously mischaracterize your fave characters, suggestive themes, AUs
Not Allowed: nsfw stuff (I'll write them eventually but right now I'm still too scared to write them), non-xreader stuff, male!reader (I am deathly afraid of writing male!readers wrong)
Please be patient when submitting requests! ïŒ ïžż ïŒ
Masterlist
Levi Ackerman x F!Reader
Series:
The Bloodshed That Keeps Us Alive - Ongoing || Word Count: 16,301
Synopsis: The first time you get a knock on your door from Commander Erwin Smith himself, you know your time's up. It's not everyday someone like you gets approached by someone like him. The second time he knocks on your door unexpectedly, you're confident that your death is looming closer and closer.
Being a citizen, a noble, of Mitras was never really what you wanted, anyway. This time, maybe you can make a real difference and atone for all the sins you've committed. After all, that's all you've ever wanted. To die an honourable death despite your history.
However, when you see someone you never expected to see again, you're torn between being a good soldier or keeping the promise you made many years go.
Even if he doesn't really know who you are.
Zanka Nijiku x F!Reader
Oneshots:
Close Calls || Word Count: 17,910
There are things you refuse to use your vital instrument for; despite how powerful it might be, reading people's minds are just out of the question.
Sometimes, though, you can't help yourself, and maybe for that reason, a misunderstanding ensues; maybe it's because Zanka struggles with balancing his training with a relationship.
Either way, it shouldn't interfere with anything, right? Especially not when your lives are on the line?
Theme: Post-War
Summary: There's a lot to adjust to after the events of the war and the Rumbling. Lots of pain, lots of healing. It's hard to move on when the memories of a completely different life can hold you back, especially when you're as injured as the former Captain of the Survey Corps. Who's Levi without the title? And what are you if not a soldier? Well, maybe keeping your word on an old promise might just answer both of your questions.
Word Count: 4,340
Warnings: Smut, mentions of injuries and war, did not edit this the way I usually would my other fics because i ran out of time âĄ(âïčâ)âĄ
A/N: AHHH MY FIRST SMUT EVERRRR AND 2ND EVER ONESHOTTT please be kind `(*>ïč<*)âČ but also! I might just upload late for the other days because April has been CRAZYYY for me. I had to perform CPR on a sick rescue kitten and raise funds to treat him, then he died, then we had to get him cremated. And the same day we rushed him to the vet, my friend 611km away on a different island got kicked out of his house so I had to raise funds for that too, then arrange a care package for him. But I had already committed to joining the event so I WILL ALKHDLAHDLJA EVEN IF I'M GONNA SUPER LATE SMH ăâœă
For the first time in a long time, the night is quiet, the wind carries no trace of blood or sweat, no attempts at grieving cries and wailsâthe fear that loud, thundering sounds will shake the ground beneath you is gone. Even when you close your eyes, the loud thumping of your heart is gone, too.
Itâs the first time you know, truly, that youâll never have them again. Thereâs no need to sit idly and savour the quiet, star-filled night as though it might me your last.
Every breath you take wonât act as a ticking clock. Air will fill your lungs, relax your body, escape, and be set free without the burden that it may be the underwhelming finale of your life. Itâs not longer a privilege, but a sign of normalcyâthe kind of normal thatâs almost so boring you could cry tears of joy.
âReady to go?â You hold the tea cup gently in your hands as you open Leviâs bedroom door, peering in to see that heâs yet to change into his outdoor clothes that you've laid out on the bed.
Heâs looking out of his window, but he quietly takes the cup away from your hands when you give it to him. He takes a sipâhe smiles. A small one, but real. Bigger than the ones he used to give you back in Paradis.
âThanks,â he mutters. It lacks the usual warmth it usually carries. Though it's normal for both of you to have your bad days, they've been getting lesser and lesser as time passes, and even if they do get frequent, it's not as severe. Not compared to when you were fresh out of the war.
You're not sure if this is a bad day for him. All you know is that you miss the comfort that normally laces his voice nowadays.
You sit down at the edge of the bed, facing him. âEverything okay? Are you not up for it today?â
The question lingers as you observe him. He seems at peace, unbothered. The room is in the same stateâincredibly clean, though itâs pretty empty by your standards. You donât see much personal items aside from the one cabinet that contains what's left of his gear from when he was Captain.
The air in the room is still, but fresh from the slightly open windows. Youâve always insisted that ventilation is good for him even if itâs not particularly windy today. There are plants and flowers placed on his window sillâones that you can make into tea, so he always has a fresh cup every morning and never run out of stock.
You were supposed to go on a morning stroll today since the town is looking fairly good despite the ongoing rebuilding. Itâs only been a few months, and yet there are already solid structures and stable shelters.
During your walk, Levi would get his daily physical therapy; the only time he gets off of his wheelchair aside from when he has to use the bathroom. Even then, he needs your assistance sometimes.
He can walk much better now, though. Itâs the pain management that you both have to be consistent with.
âYou shouldnât have to go with me every time,â he scoffs, though his words are barely a mumble. He takes another sip of his tea, holding it by the handle nowâthe small detail makes you smile.
It took a while to reassure him that you can always get another cup if that one happens to break. You even dabbled in pottery for a while to make sure he knows you can make new ones, or repair the old ones.
You chuckle, grabbing the button-up shirt on the bed and smoothing out the folds. âI want to, though.â
âDonât you want a life outside of me?â
Somehow, your ears start to hurt from the silence that comes after. Your soft grin is wiped away instantly, and in the corner of your eye, you see that heâs looking at you now.
You set the clothing neatly on your lap and look into his steel-grey eyes. âA life outside of you is not a life at all, Levi. Iâll bring you everywhere I go if I could,â you sigh before giving him an airy laugh. âYouâd never let me, though.â
His serious mood doesnât let up. Instead, he huffs, setting the cup down on the window sill and crossing his arms. âAll you do is take care of me.â
âAnd Gabi and Falco,â you continue, though your tone is much more enthusiastic than his. âItâs not like I stay indoors all the time, either. I go out, too. I have friends,â you shrug.
He places his hands on the wheels of his chair and moves closer to you, enough that your knees are now touching. âYou go out to work. You meet with your friends to work. So we have enough money or resources to trade.â
You start thinking for a second, about what youâve been doing recently, and maybe itâs about time you tell him the truth. So you huff in defeat and place a hand on top of Leviâs. âYouâre really not up for going out today?â
He shakes his head no. âNot if itâll keep you tied to me.â
You chuckle and the crease between his eyebrows get deeperâhe doesnât appreciate how lightly youâre taking the conversation, you can tell. So you wrap your hand around his and rest it on his lap. âThatâs too bad, then.â A mischievous smile makes itâs way onto your face. âI wanted to show you the tea shop weâve been wanting to set up. Onyankopon had a friend who was giving theirs away.â
Leviâs entire body stiffens and he clutches your hand tightly. His eyebrows are no longer frowning but now lays high in surprise, and thereâs almost this unreadable glint in his eyes.
Your free hand makes its way to his other one and lace your fingers together. âI was working so we wonât have to work as much. Itâs a corner-store, too. On the busiest street of town. And thereâs an apartment right above it that comes with the shop. I managed to gather everything we need to set it up. We can move anytime you, Gabi, and Falco want.â
The breath he lets out is almost shaky as he closes his eyes shut, almost like he was in pain, but you knew that whatever heâs feeling is far from it. Itâs the kind he makes when heâs relieved; something that both of you feel with a sting in your chest, as if it was always being squeezedâthen suddenly itâs not anymore.
Your hearts have been suffocating for so long that, given the chance to breathe again, it hurts to adjust to the air.
When he opens his eyes again, theyâre still as sharp as ever, looking cold, but this time thereâs traces of warmth in there. A flicker of light he keeps restrained. âYeah,â he gulps. âWe should move there soon.â
You canât help the laugh that escapes youâitâs tense, and you blame the oncoming tears that flood your eyes for making you sound so sentimental. Your chest hurts the same way his probably did a moment ago. Itâs relief. Pure, innocent joy that you didnât make a mistake by planning something without consulting him first.
Itâs Novemberâa month from now itâll be his birthday. The tea shop was supposed to be a surprise, but his worries about the work you put in made you realize he must have been keeping a lot of it from you. At least now he knows that itâs not for only him.
Youâve both been dreaming of owning a tea shop since you were both in the Corps. He was your Captain, and you were his Lieutenant.
Sniffling, you squeeze his hand once, twice. âYou told me back then that we can be together when hell freezes over, and I amended it. I saidââ
âWhen the Titans are goneââ
âAnd I can fulfill my promise to give you a tea shop.â You gulp, and you chuckle wetly. âAs dowry, I said.â
Both of you erupt in laughter, though youâre more on the teary side, and heâs trying not to be. The restraint of this man will take forever to dismantle, but at least this time, forever seems like an attainable feat.
Once youâve calmed yourselves down, you stare at him fondly, and nerves creep up your chest, then your throat, until you feel your airways tighten just a little bit. âYou want to moveâdoes that mean you like me too?â
The laugh that escapes him looks like it surprised him too, but he continues through it. Levi isnât one to feel awkward with eye contact but this seems to be the exception. While his hands remain in yours, his eyes travel to the floor and he clears his throat. âL/N weâve lived together since we got here.â
When he pauses, you tilt your head down to try and catch his eyes, waiting for him to continue.
He takes a deep breath; his eyes land back on yours, softening to a degree that would terrify any cadet whoâd never seen this side of him. âI think IâveâŠtaken a liking to you a long time ago,â he exhales, the corner of his mouth quirking up a bit. âEver since I saw you kept your quarters clean.â
You groan with a smile, letting his hand go to lightly slap his good knee. âWay to ruin the moment, Captain,â you huff with a roll of your eyes.
Levi shrugs. âItâs true. Youâre the only one who cleaned the under-side of your desk.â
You groan again, this time with a hint of embarrassment, and you cover your face with both of your palms. âOnly because I thought you were cute, you clean freak.â
âSo youâre telling meâŠâ he begins, and thereâs a teasing lilt in his voice, you donât even need to see him to know that heâs looking quite devilish right now. âYou were hot for boss so much you frequently deep cleaned your quarters?â
âYou always visited so randomly for reports!!â you complained, hands falling from your face to wildly gesture around, as if it would somehow make the bright pink blush on your ears go away.
âHad to make sure you were doing your job,â he clarifies. âIt was only a bonus that I got to see you.â
His words make the red spread to your cheeks. âI thought you hated me, asshole.â
âYou know by now thatâs how I show appreciation,â he jokes, and you can see, clear as day, the fondness in his eyes. Like iced tea in the summerârefreshing, comforting, and still warm despite the coldness of the grey. âIâd like to change that, though.â
âKiss me.â
âW-what?â His sudden intake of breath made it sound like a stuttering gaspâwhich it was, but youâre not sure if he knows.
When you start giggling at his flustered state, he relaxes a little, but the shock has yet to completely wear off. Your heart starts to soften more for the captain, and a part of you wishes for something that can never be. âI really wish I could tell Erwin and Hange I made you stutter.â
âBrat,â he mutters, crossing his arms again, his eyes on anything else but your own.
âSeriously, though." Your fingers brushes his. âI gave you a tea shop; all I ask for is a kiss.â You smile innocently at him, half hoping that he would agree but also knowing that he wonât.
Levi is and always has been a complicated man. Always straying away from intimacy beyond light physical touches. Itâs completely unimaginable to you how you manage to hold his hand this easily.
Youâve been doing it for a whileâthe light touching of your fingers, the back of your hands when you used to walk side-by-side during expeditions. It never became more until the war was at its peak. Even then, the most that happened was an embrace and words exchanged, sounding stiff and professional yet feeling profound and soul-crushing at the time.
This time wonât be any different. Levi would neverâ
The feeling of his lips on your knuckles is soft, warm from the hot tea you made him, leaving a burning sensation that becomes a sharp contrast against the cold November. It feels like a betrayal when the wind starts to blow and it makes you want to get closer to him, to the heat youâve been craving for so long.
It feels like a betrayal because youâre not sure if you can. Like a moth to a flame, you think, except youâre the flame, asking for a vulnerable moth to come closer. You donât want to burn Levi.
But it's starting to feel like he's willing to be.
Especially when he leans forward, cupping the side of your face with one hand, getting closer and closer to yours until you can feel his breath on your lips.
Heâs not a moth, and youâre not a flame. Because when his lips touch yours, you feel the fire burning in your chest, and you doubt he doesnât feel the same when he pushes against you harder, moving his lips almost desperately, tongue darting out to lick your bottom lip. While itâs only for a second, it makes your breath stutter before you have to pull away.
Unfortunately, the position canât be comfortable for him, having to lean so far forward.
âLetâs move to the bed,â you sigh, absolutely breathless, bringing one of your hand up to the side of his face just has his drops from yours. âItâll be more comfortable for you.â
When he shakes his head, his eyes avert from shame. âI wonât be able to do any of the work.â
With an airy chuckle, you bring your other hand up to his face as well, nudging his head slightly so he can look at your face, laughing when you squeeze his cheeks together playfully and a scowl grows on his face. Still, he doesnât remove himself from your hold, only gains enough confidence to gaze directly into your eyes.
âMaybe I was lucky enough not to get permanently injured because the universe wanted at least one of us to be mobile enough to have mind-blowing sex,â you tease, voice husky and out of breath. âWhat do you think?â
Leviâs scowl deepens and he huffs, but the apple of his cheeks turn a shade of bright red, looking away for a moment. He doesnât say anything, but he does move away from your hands, bracing himself on his wheelchair to stand up.
You support his body until he reaches the bed and sits down; you scooch over, giving him space to lean against the headboard.
He doesnât have to say anythingâyou help him remove his house slippers and place them neatly on the floor right beside yours.
When you crawl over to him, your knees are on either side of his legs, careful not to put your weight on his thighs from fear of hurting his injury. A part of you wants to rest your arms on his shoulders and play with his surprisingly soft undercut, but you grasp both of his hands instead, knowing that heâs at least comfortable with that. âYouâre the boss, Captain.â
Levi doesnât stiffen this time, but his ears do turn an even darker shade of pink. âStill hot for boss? Is that a kink of yours?â
You roll your eyes and give him a dead-eyed stare. âYouâre still hung up on that?â
He shrugs. âI donât have a lot of things to hold over your head after youâve taken care of me for over 7 months now.â
With a sigh, you squeeze his hands and try to give him the most reassuring smile you can muster, though you canât help but be a little sad at the thought that he thinks of himself as a burden to you. Youâre not sure when or if you can ever make him believe otherwise.
So, instead, you opt for banter. âWeâll get to the kinks soon.â With a mischievous smile, you smirk at your former captain. âIf only you were consistent with your physical therapy then maybe you couldâve been fucking me by nowââ
Leviâs lips are on yours instantly, hands moving away from your hold so they can rest on your hips. His mouth is moving hard and fast, tongue pushing forcibly insideâwhen it brushes yours, both of you groan, swallowing each otherâs sounds with ease.
To your surprise, his hands pushes you down, and you feel something hard press against your core. The yelp that leaves you is muffled by his mouth, but you put your hands on his chest to stop him, but only enough to be able to talk.
âI donât want to hurt your leg,â you mutter, feeling his breath fanning your lips.
Levi shakes his head, breathing hard, and you can feel how fast his heart is beating under your palm. âYouâre not going to, I promise. It only hurts under the knee.â
A comfortable quiet falls over you both as he waitsâhis voice as thick as honey, and he smells of tea and vanilla, reminding you of the scented candles you gifted him when he took his first few painless steps since the war.
The memory hits you with a welcoming embrace, and it calms your worries enough to rest your weight on him, grinding your hips against his for a moment.
He groans and his hips twitch, the hardness in his pants meeting the heat in yours in an erratic, uncontrolled manner that makes your heart flutter. Leviâs head falls onto your shoulder and he takes a second to breathe as his grip tightens on your waist. âFuck,â he mutters, tilting his head and nuzzling in the crook of your neck. âBeen wanting this for a while.â
You pepper his neck with kisses in the meantime while your hands travel from his chest to his stomach, lifting his shirt enough to touch his skin. âWhy didnât you say anything?â you ask in between kisses. No one will care about marks, so you let yourself leave small bruises that make your eyes dilate every time you see the darkening patch on his perfect skin.
Levi thrusts up again, this time at a consistent pace. âYouâve seen me in a wheelchair, right?â he chuckles against your neck which results in laughter from youâhe knows damn well youâre ticklish there.
His amusement doesnât last long, though, because when you start meeting his hips with your own thrusts, both of you start panting even harder.
âYour leg looks pretty fine now,â you groan, biting his neck gently when your clit starts to throb. The pleasure spikes when you feel him twitch in his pants and you let out a full moan as you bury your face into his shoulder. âFuck,â you mutter.
âOnly because youâre so anal about physical therapy,â he counters, though thereâs not bite to it, not when you find his sweet spot right above his collarbone. âShit, shitââ Levi throws his head back, making a soft thud against the cushioned headboard.
By this point you give up on the banter and your hands start to fumble against the zipper of his pants. âYou good?â The shakiness in your voice canât be helpedâyouâre excited, but also nervous that he might want to stop. If so, youâd gladly move away from him, but when he nods his head in approval, you continue your ministrations until youâre hooking your fingers under his boxers.
You stop for a moment, looking up at him. Those stormy eyes are staring so intensely at you that you fear you might turn into a puddle. Gone are the cold, harsh stares of a hardened captain, replaced by the broken, but ever-so-loving Levi Ackerman that you got to know in your months of recovery. âReady?â
âYeah.â Itâs breathy, almost too low to hear, but itâs there anyway.
So you take his cock out and run your thumb across his slit, spreading the precum around the head. It makes him hiss until his grip on you is almost bruisingâhe doesnât need whatever Ackerman abilities he had to remain insanely strong.
You try to hide your surprise, but the amusement in his eyes makes it clear that he caught the widening of yours the moment you saw how long and thick he is.
âEverything okay?â he quips, obviously smug.
It doesnât last long. You jerk him one, twice, three times, and heâs throwing his head back with the first, loudest moan youâve pulled out of him so far. âHoly shitââ
âEverything okay?â you mock, letting your free hand caress the side of his face as you bring your lips to his once more. Thankfully, youâre wearing a rather comfortable skirt, which means you need only to rise a few inches and let go of his hard cock for a second to pull your panties to the side.
Once you have a hold of him again, you angle him just right, until youâre sitting down and feeling your walls clench tightly around him.
You both moan into the kiss and Levi has to use one of his hands to hold the back of your neck, pushing himself harder against your mouth just to muffle his own pleasured sounds.
When you start moving, Levi grunts, jaw clenching and his teeth biting down onto your lower lip.
Your body starts to get hot the faster you bounce on his lap, feeling his thick cock impale you so deep you feel him kiss your cervix repeatedly. The flush on your face gets worse the more you pant onto his lips, desperately trying to continue kissing himâbut unforunately, the lewd moans spilling out of you make it hard
"Shit," you whisper, wetness beginning to pool around his pelvis. One moment Levi has one hand on your waist, the other on the back of your neck, but then he has both on your ass, gripping tightly, anchoring himselfâhe starts thrusting into you slightly, making you yelp and throw your head back at the unexpected pressure.
Your thighs begin to tremor and you collapse onto your lover, throwing your arms around his neck, chest to chest with him while you nuzzle your face under his jaw and attempting to ground yourself from the pleasure.
You have no idea how Levi manages to lift himself up, but the grunts and moans slipping out of his lips, words brushing against your hair as he presses his mouth against it, tells you that he's neck-deep in bliss as much as your areâinjuries be damned.
Dipping your head, you nip at his neck and suck, sure to leave a mark as you keep grinding against him, your pleasure-filled cries muffled and drowned out by his own.
The room echoes with the sound of skin against skin; heavy panting bouncing aorund the roomâthank god Gabi and Falco are out right now, you're not sure you're ready to have The Talk with them if it came down to it.
Levi's thrusts get faster and you can't help but sit up straight, throwing your head back at the sudden change of pressure and tempo, his cock pressing against your walls so deliciously that sparks of pleasure spreads from your heat.
He wastes no time leaning forward and enveloping one of your nipples into his mouth, his hands still tightly holding onto your assâhe'll mark you, too, by the end of this, whether it's because of his fingers or his mouth on your breasts.
At the added stimulation your thighs start to tremble and your moans turn into high-pitched whines, and when you hear Levi groan so lewdly that he has to press his lips harder into your chest, the tightness in your core snaps, your entire body shaking with intense bliss that your eyes start rolling to the back of your head.
Your groans turn into growl-like whimpers when his rhythm gets sloppy but his thrusts get harderâhe screams your name, muffled by yout tits, though loud enough that you hear it as clear as day even in your haze.
"Fuckâ" he groans, pulling out suddenly with the help of his arms lifitng you just fast enough for him to paint your stomach in thick ropes of cum instead of your warm walls.
Both of you collapse, making sure that you roll off of him; if you didn't, you'd both be sticky, and even though you're deep into your post-orgasmic brain fog, you know it would make Levi uncomfortable.
You're staring up at the ceiling of his room as you're both trying ot catch your breath when his hand reaches for yoursâLevi hooks his pinky around your own, and it feels oddly intimate despite that fact that you're covered in his cum.
You turn your head to see his blissed out state, still looking up, his eyes hazy and droopy. His skin glistens with a thin sheen of sweat and you can see the marks you left littering his neck.
Levi sees you smirk from the corner of his eyes. When he turns to look back at youâyou can almost say he's gazing at you with a dream-like stare, as if he's finally content after all this time you've spent under one roof.
You've seen him happy, maybe even peaceful.
But there's always something.
Something about his expressions that make it look like he thinks there's a missing piece somewhere. That he wants moreâand you know that he's always been afraid of wanting more.
After all, both of you already feel like not having to live as soldiers is too much; too much for something you both deserved.
Maybe a part of him also feels like you shouldn't deserve it, because you're cursed with remembering all the lives you know should be living yours right now.
Now that he's looking into your eyes, though, and with the warmth that's spreading across your chest, the soft breathing and bewitched stares exchanged between you both, contained inside the privacy of your own home and hopefully your future one as wellâyou think you know what that something might be.
And it might just be the same answer to everything you've felt like you've been missing, too.
CHAPTER 4 IS NOT ON MY LAPTOP I REPEAT IT IS N O T ON MY LAPTOP WHERE THE FUCK IS IT THAT'S LIKE W E L L OVER 6K WORDS WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK
The Bloodshed That Keeps Us Alive || Levi Ackerman x Reader
CHAPTER 3: When Nostalgia Fades; Bloodied and Battered
Read chapter 2 here
Read on Ao3
Summary: When old memories surface from a good night's sleep, it fills you with sentiment that results in a short bonding moment with your cousin; it has you thinking of the past with, for once, somewhat of a positive light compared to the complexities of the present.
Unfortunately, a nice start to the day has to end with some violence after assisting Commandant Shadis with training. A soldier doesn't take a liking to you and Levi may or may not agree---it ends with one bruised ego and two blood-covered high-ranking officers.
Word Count: 6,861
A/N: Chapter 3 is finally up!! I had to split this into 2 chapters because it got too long, but also I saw a great opportunity to half it! From now on I'm going to give Levi's POV their own chapters instead of combining their POVs in a single chapter. It makes more sense to me that way, and it means I can play around more with Levi's perspective without thinking about the length and if the transition is smooth enough between shifts in perspectives.
In the Underground, thereâs a lot that people have to get used to.
Filth, hunger, crime, death.
Itâs the stench, thoughâthe one that permeates the air, no matter how much money you waste on air fresheners or cheap perfume; itâs always there. You can cover up everything else for a little while, yes, but the smell thatâs so distinctly Underground wonât ever leave, as if itâs permanently burned into your nostrils.
The same images greet you while you walk the same path you always do on the way home. The desperate street vendors, the homeless sleeping off their empty stomachs, the pickpocketing children, and even the beggars who are always at their regular spots knowing that deep down, no one down here as anything to spare. Â
Youâve seen it all growing up in this sewer. Yet still, the malodor remains, its potency stinging your sinuses just how you remember it did when you were younger. The occasional headaches from it are much easier to handle now that youâre used to it, though itâs still difficult for you to ignore. Itâs tolerable at best, and only because you know you can never truly get away from it.
At this point youâre not even sure what youâre smelling anymore. You can be in the cleanest house you can find but youâll still smell it. Something rotten.
You pull the ragged cloak tighter around your arms as you drag your feet through the dirt. Itâs not even cold, the fabric just feels nice. Heat is the usual here because even on colder nights, itâs far too cramped, far too unventilated for it to be anything other than uncomfortably humid.
They arenât here anymore, you think.
 And there isnât enough energy you can muster up to walk a little faster. For the longest time, coming home felt like an opportunity to recharge, get ready for the next day so you can keep yourself alive. Alive for them. If youâre alive, then you can help them stay alive.
Theyâre gone now, though.
So, what are you home for now? Thereâs no goal, no purpose. Your rest would mean staying alive another day just to remember that youâre sense of direction is gone. If so, how come youâre still alive?
Youâve earned enough to follow them, and the desperate part of you that wants to is trying to claw itself out from the crevices of your heart. However, committing yourself to surviving in the Underground is not a feat you can achieve without staining your hands permanently red.
You can follow themâbut how much of it is because you want to get away from your crimes?
Before you can wallow any further, the hair on the back of your neck stands up, and your eyes rapidly scan the surrounding area. You swear thereâs something out of place but you canât pinpoint it. As if you know thereâs a predator nearby, but itâs camouflaged, and youâre left searching for it before you become its next meal.
Thereâs a cloaked man several feet away, his stride showed confidence and purpose, and it sticks out like a sore thumb among the sea of despair that lingers in the faces of the crowd. Even the toughest of criminals carry some kind of shame behind their brutish demeanor.
The stranger is tall, wearing a hood that covers half of his face, and even if you didnât notice that he doesnât quite belong, the cloak around his shoulderâs would have been enough to ring alarm bells in your head. It doesnât look old or tattered, not like it was bought 2nd hand or stolen, or even picked up from a trash pile.
Heâs up to something. No one in the Underground whoâs intent on committing a crime ever feels the need to hide it unless theyâre paid mercenaries. Robberies, assault, even murderâthese are all common here, and most of the time, the people responsible are dressed normally, often acting on their malicious thoughts on impulse.
Even petty thieves know itâll be easier to steal if their targets donât anticipate them.
Whoever is trailing you isnât from around here.
This prompts you to pull your own hood over your headâsomething you only do when youâre set on hiding your identity. To hell with looking suspicious, at least the people down here wonât see whoâs getting stalked, which means it wonât make you a target once itâs all over.
The less people take interest in you, the better.
Especially because youâve dealt with enough criminals to know that this man is not a criminal.
You recognize the boots he wears, the rigid postureâthe walk of a seasoned soldier.
The Underground is a dangerous place, but most of its residents learn that the best way to live is to tune out every reason to die.
This man looks too wary; clearly not used to the land of the sewers. Heâs alert and aware of his surroundings like a wanted felon. Everyone whoâs eve lived here knows the dangers like the back of their hand. Thereâs no need to be hyperaware if itâs already become muscle memory.
Heâs one of them, youâre sure. One of the people who took them awayâand now their eyes are set on you.
You take a sharp left turn into an alley that leads to a dead end, climbing the walls using the pipes and the bricks that stick out, successfully pushing yourself over to the other side of the wall.
Itâs not a big fall but itâs enough to knock the wind out of you despite the good landing.
You donât wait to catch your breath before you start running again, taking the complicated routes you know to get home, constantly going into dead ends just to put more distance between you and your pursuers.
Itâs odd.
You donât hear anything at all. No ODM hooks hitting the walls, no heavy foot falls.
They donât seem to be chasing you, but it doesnât put you at ease just yet. If anything, a part of you is worried theyâve figured out where you live and chose to wait for you there to make their arrest.
Despite this, though, you continue on your way home, ditching the alleys and taking the main roads instead, constantly looking over your shoulder. You figured that going to open areas will even the playing field since the buildings are farther apart than if you were in cramped spaces.
Itâs not foolproof, since the Underground is narrow to begin with. âOpen roadsâ just means more time for their ODM hooks to latch onto a wall and time for you to run.
When the trip back to your place ends up being harmless the rest of the way, you try shaking off the weird, prickly feeling on the back of your neck and even out your breathing. You didnât notice how tense your shoulders were until the keys in your hands start to clink together from the little twitches of your hand, the muscles growing too weak and too strained to properly steady itself.
Inhale, exhale.
The keys click into place after several attempts, and you swing your door open.
Youâre hit with a wave of nostalgia then your feet hit the floor of Erwinâs office. Your mind gifted you with a trip down memory lane in your sleep, and itâs making you slightly sentimental about the man sitting behind his desk.
It feels almost strange to watch him work so diligentlyâperhaps itâs because it looks eerily like the image that greeted you right before you woke up today. That was when your life truly changed; with a man so devoted to his work that he crawled the depths of the sewers just to hunt down some criminal whoâd never seen the sky.
âI hope you donât mind being excluded in the expeditionâthe one before the 104thâs graduation.â
Erwin is straight to business as usual, and you hum in acknowledgement as you close the door behind you, situating yourself on the chair in front of his desk. âItâs not really my call,â you sigh. âBut can I ask why? I thought youâd want me out there as soon as possible to get experience or something.â
He shakes his head no while he opens a folder, writing what you think are reports. âItâs too soon.â The scratching of pen and pencil is unmistakable in the thick silence of the room, making you lean back into your chair to get comfier. The tension is unfamiliar between you both, especially behind closed doors where you can be a little bit more lenient with your dynamic.
However, since your delightfully attentive cousinâs mind is working on several things at once, youâre happy to wait for him to talk, even if he bares his usual snobbish aura. âIf we want your mission to succeed, you must get acquainted with your environment and the 104th.â
You lean back on your chair and pick at the edge of the arm rest. âI donât think itâs that pertinent to the mission.â Your eyes follow the languid flow of ink that flows from his pen, wondering how much time it has left before it runs out. âThe networks, the connections, everything you needâI have,â you remind him. âThatâs why Iâm here, right?â
He keeps working, not even sparing you a glance, but you know heâs listening despite the absent look in his eyes with every nod of acknowledgement. Sometimes you think that you can ask him the most absurd questions and heâll agree without a second thought. Maybe you should ask for a personal horse to get you around townâor maybe a custom uniform.
âErwin,â you call out. Your gaze is fixated on him as you lean forward. âDonât overthink this. Youâve trained me for expeditions, so let me go on them.â
The pleading tone in your voice is obvious with every electric pulse of excitement that reaches your fingertips. The thought of going outside the Walls has always invigorated youâafter all, this is what youâve been training for. Itâs the second part of your mission.
Countless sleepless nights and full-body aches from hours-worth of training after hours-worth of sleuthing and conniving against the military government has all built up to this.
He sets his pen aside along with the documents on the table and finally giving you his full attention. He visibly relaxes as he leans back in his chair, thick eyebrows furrowing as he contemplates your request.
You let his silence take over the room as you wait with bated breath. Itâs not unusual for him to deny your wishes but sometimesâmost of the timeâyouâre able to sway him. Though, unfortunately, itâs not usually regarding things involving your jobs or missions.
Despite your fairly close relationship, though, you donât dare act too unprofessional. Heâs still your Commander, but sometimes, maybe more often than that, you miss the friendly, almost familial banter between you both.
Erwin Smith can easily be persuaded if you act like an annoying little sibling sometimesâitâs why you think Hange and him get along so well compared to others.
You think the dream you had might have given you a major hit of nostalgia. Times were undoubtedly simpler back then. The darker tones of life, the vile colours of the sewer-life community, was just easier on the mind. You survive or you donât.
Above ground, you were thrown into a life full of complexities made up of noblemen and their multitude of affairs, military-run governments, illegal spy-work on your end curtesy of the Survey Corps Commander, etc.
So of course, working with him has been a constant in your life. You found the closest thing to a family with Erwin, unexpectedly so, which means youâve gained the privilege of pestering him and pushing his buttons whenever you want to get your way.
He rescued you, yes, but by no means did he make your life easier. You hated him at first, associating him with the people who took your people away, but in the end, the mutual benefits of working together won you over. You had no choice but to grow fond of the stern but oddly welcoming man.
Youâve definitely earned the right to annoy him. If not for you, a lot of his plans for the Survey Corps would not have come to fruition.
âNo,â he shakes his head, and you slump back down on your chair with a childish huff and an equally childish pout, to which he gives you a look akin to a disappointed dad. âYou need to stay here and oversee the graduating soldiers. You may have succeeded in the first part of your mission, but here, I only want you to get along with everyone else.â
To your surprise, he slowly drops the stiff, Commander tone and offers you a small, gentle smile. âYouâre not a spy here, Y/N. Youâre not pretending to be a member of the Survey Corps. You are one of us. Youâre a soldier now. Which means I want you out there when youâre ready and can work well with the rest. Youâll go on expeditions at the same pace as the 104th.â
The finality in his voice is one you recognize and have learned to trust with your life, though you have to admit, you have tested the limits on how well you can try to persuade him into doing what you want.
This particular monologue of his had you unprepared, however. His usual commanding words were accompanied by a softness you rarely see, much less expect him to have when heâs quite literally telling you, as your Commander, that you are not to join the expedition.Â
Perhaps he may not be saying it purely as your superior. Or maybe thatâs the nostalgia talking. Either way, you canât really argue with it.
With a groan of defeat, you mutter a small âfineâ with an expression you think is comparable to a toddler who was denied candy.
âSo,â he begins, shifting forwards so he can lean with his elbows on his desk. âYouâre more comfortable with Captain Levi than I anticipated.â
Itâs a statement, not a question. Youâve known Erwin long enough that the fact that his eyebrows are as expressive as they are right now can only mean heâs prying you for information.
If you ever tell anyone that the Commander loves to dabble in gossip from time to time, well, theyâd have a heart attack.
You huff, giving him an exasperatedâbut very amusedâlook, hoping that maybe, if he senses the slight embarrassment, heâll let it go.
He holds his ground, though, and he keeps staring at you with those ridiculously bushy brows of his raised, as if heâs expecting you to lay down all your cards just because he told you toâindirectly, as well.
Erwin taps his desk with his fingers. âHe said something about how you were too comfortable challenging his authority.â He waves it off. âBut thatâs only the censored version.â
You have to admit, seeing him like this in his uniform inside his office? Itâs a littleâŠout of place. Usually, his sillier side is saved for outside Survey Corps buildings and duties, since he has a reputation to uphold.
But apparently, childish gossip about you is an exception, so you give into his whims.
âFineee,â you whine, though your tone remains flatâyouâre not trying to give him any more ammunition. âI know Levi.â
His eyebrows twitch in what you think is surprise, but he also nods, as if he was expecting this information. Somehow his focus on you intensifies and his stare becomes more than curiousâheâs probably scheming.
Youâre quick to clarify things, though, crossing your arms and snorting. âBut he doesnât know me. Iâll tell you more only if you promise not to tell him.â The hint of desperation in your voice is embarrassingâsimilar to what one would feel if they have to beg their sibling to keep their mouth shut.
Still, not much of a response from him other than a nod and a familiar smirk.
âIâve known him since Kenny.â Itâs barely above a whisper, and you have trouble keeping eye contact. You canât help but bounce your knee up and down as well when you recall your past. âKenny knows me, too. And I made a promise to him a long time agoâabout Levi.â
Erwin sits up straighter and you know youâve caught his interest; beyond what he was originally expecting. Heâs a clever motherfucker. Heâs probably planning something about this nowâyou wouldnât be surprised if you and Levi start seeing each other more frequently.
âHey!â you snap your fingers in front of his face and he chuckles, leaning back on his chair once again. âNo telling Levi! Itâs not like I expected to see him again after I got out of there.â
He holds his hands up in surrender, though is expression is telling you that heâs more entertained than threatened. âI wonât, I wonât.â Despite the unexpectedly casual conversation, the bravado in his voice remains, still sounding like a Commander. âI always hoped you and Levi would work together,â he hums, staring at his desk thoughtfully. âThis might just mean my gamble will pay off.â
When he makes eye contact with you again, thereâs a mischievous glint somewhere behind those irises. It almost makes you want to shiver from fearâa plotting Erwin is a disturbing Erwin.
âThat stupid gambling addiction of yours,â you mutter. Thereâs a scowl on your face, though you think it might come off as more of a bratty pout than anything else. It infuriates you how Erwin manages to pull out your childishness. âI think itâs clear your little Captain hates my guts so Iâm not sure how right you are about that.â
He snickers, but his eyes soften to a more reassuring smile, giving you a look into that rare warmth that you doubt anybody in the Corps has seenâwith the exception of Hange and Levi, maybe. âHas it not benefitted you?â
âOnce!â you quip. âIt paid off once.â
âAnd those experiments of yours?â The depth of his voice, when paired with his ridiculous teasing, is the bane of your existence.
âThatâs science!â you exclaim, arms waving around the air as if you canât comprehend the absurdity of his question. âNot gambling!â
You and Erwin get lost in the silliness of the moment, laughing almost uncontrollably; almost, because youâre reminded by the occasional distant footsteps outside to remain professional.
Clearing your throat, you calm your breathing down, relishing in the warmth in your chest from the rare moment of peace before you move on to a different topic. âOh yeah! Speaking ofâIâm working on a new chemical of sorts. For combat.â
The Commander perks up at the news. âFor the Survey Corps?â
You nod ambitiously, recalling how far youâve come at developing it. âI just need one more thing,â you concludeâitâs your turn now to look mischievous.
His eyes narrow, knowing well enough that once your ambition is mixed with that sly, devilish expression, that thereâs something you want; something so ludicrous that heâll have to rethink his position has Commander now that youâre working under him.
You get everything you wantâyou always do, one way or another.
âTitans.â
For a second, Erwin looks completely horrified by the implications, but the expression doesnât remainâtwo cadets knock on his door, announcing that they were ordered to deliver reports to his office.
The Commander lets them in and dismisses you, but not before sending you a wary look, to which you respond by merely winking back, purposely hidden from the two people in the room right as you step out and close the door behind you.
When you were told that youâd be teaching basic emergency first aid training for the graduating cadets, you were expecting an experience resembling that of trying to prepare for an incoming hurricane.
While many of them are adults whoâd volunteered to join the Corps, unfortunately, most of them are childrenâmajority being under 18 years of age.
Youâve been around several types of people due to the nature of your job, but youâll have to admit that teaching a group of kids first aid would not be something youâd list as one of your expertise.
However, you know the urgency of this class, and as far as you can tell, Erwin has yet to hire anyone with as much medical experience as youâignoring the fact that you arenât really a medical doctor.
Youâve dabbled enough in medicine, though, especially emergency medicine. So that has to count for something, right?
Fortunately the class ended up going as well as you had wanted it to. Most people seemed wary of your presence since youâre a new faceâsome were hell-bent on showing off, some were on the shier side.
But most wanted to learn, which you werenât surprised by. Everyone knows what happens outside the walls even if theyâve never been.
There had been some bickering here and there, mostly with the younger children, but you learned that if you ignored it or politely acknowledged it, they tend to shut up quickly out of fearâyou think that Shadis and Levi may have instilled some trauma.
Speaking of, right now, theyâve moved on to hand-to-hand combat. Itâs Shadisâ turn to teach them and you were welcomed to sit in and watchâthe retired commander even suggested you join, his words coated with sarcasm since he knows youâve had your fill of training under Erwin.
There arenât any other things on your schedule today aside from the first-aid class. Your experiments are obviously waiting for you in your lab, but you decided it was nicer to be around the budding soldiersâplus, you get to see how Keith Shadis teaches, which will serve you well when itâs time for you to head more projects and classes, since Erwin has made it clear that you should share your knowledge with the others.
You have to admit you have a soft spot for the younger ones. Theyâre too young to be in the business of titan-killing, and you can only imagine what they had to see and go through for them to decide that itâs worth risking their lives to help turn your depressing world around.
If you can help keep them breathing even just a day longer, then youâd be happy. They should be dreaming of their future; not dreading that they wonât get to have one.
That experience is familiar for you, too, except youâve reached adulthood without ever knowing what you could have dreamt of as a child. Life just sort ofâŠhappened to you.
And youâre not sure if itâs worth risking your life for a noble cause at such a young age, or growing up and looking back, realizing that the age where you should have dreamt of building a life has past you.
Of course the former is much more gruesomeâyouâre clearly one of the luckier ones. However, sometimes you get to thinking: would it feel better to die with a purpose or live without it?
The purpose of your life, for you, shifted a few times throughout the years, but again, it happened to you, and youâre lucky that it kept you going for this long. Long enough to watch the next generation of soldiers, help them train to survive longerâthereâs a calmness in knowing youâd be out there with them, too.
âCommandant Shadis, I think their stances can be improvedââ Just as youâre about to make some adjustments, especially with how they can use it to easily propel themselves with their ODM, an older Scout approaches.
He stands confidently next to you and Shadis, off to the side but still in front of every cadet, as if trying to make a show of it all. You brace yourself. Youâve seen enough people like him to know whatâs to come.
The stranger scoffs. âStop trying to change things that arenât broken. People outside the Corps shouldnât be telling us what to doâespecially not some Mitras bitch.â
The Commandant scowls, grumbling something under his breath that you couldnât make out, but he approaches the man, calling out his name harshly. âScholzâ is his name.
âDid I ever teach you to speak to you superiors that way?!â Shadis barks, pointing a finger at him sternly, looking like heâs about to burst a vein. âApologise to Representative L/N this instant!â
Suddenly, a voice cuts through the air, the only one who can somehow steal the spotlight from the Commandant despite his lower ranking and quieter voice. âAside from the name calling, I think Scholz is right.â Levi walks up behind the older Scout. âI donât think someone whoâs never lived outside the richest city should tell the most underfunded government regiment what to do. It could cost us lives.â
Keith Shadis sighs, putting a hand on his forehead in exasperation. He glances at the cadets who are obviously listening intently; those kids barely see anything interesting, so they must find this a good source of entertainment.
Thereâs the Scout whoâs obviously enjoying the attention and validation from his Captain, then thereâs Shadis who just wants to do his job, and of course, the newly arrived Levi, whoâs stirring the pot for shits and giggles.
You know he has a point to prove, but itâs all unnecessaryâheâs being dramatic, you think. Taking it all out of proportion just to cause a scene thatâll get a rise out of you, so that maybe, he can show Erwin and Shadis that you arenât fit to be here.
All while hiding behind the veil of wanting the best of the cadets. Though, when you think about it more, you doubt heâs actually trying to hide. Thereâs some truth to their point, thatâs for sure.
âCaptain Levi, I believe Erwin has told you her credentialsâher input is valuable, Iâm sure.â While you appreciate the Commandantâs support and approval, you still step forward and place your hand on his arm reassuringly before letting it go with a polite smile and a nod.
âThank you, Commandant,â you say, then face Levi and Scholz. âBut Iâm sure Captain Levi has a point to all of this. Iâm certain thereâs something else you want to say, Captain.â
Thereâs no bite to your words, but there is a hint of challenge.
And you think Levi catches onto it when the corner of his mouth twitches up in interest. âSpar with Scholz.â He gestures to the man next to him, who looks utterly terrified for a moment before resolving to a smug, slightly wavering smirk. âIf Erwin and Shadis are right, then you should kick his ass easily. Use the shit you were trying to teach earlier if you really want to prove yourself.â
Just before the Commandant can argue, you hold up a hand to stop him, silently saying that youâve got the situation handled. âI think the Captain is right. Why not?â You give Scholz your friendliest smile. âItâs about time I start moving after being idle for so long. What do you think?â you ask the Scout, already starting to do your stretches, both to prepare yourself and to intimidate. Though it does feel a little ridiculous.
In all honesty, you arenât really trying to show off to Scholz or the cadets. Youâll prove yourself outside the walls; when your skills matter, where theyâre needed. Right now, though, you just want to push Leviâs buttons a tiny bit more.
Despite his brave face since he interrupted your conversation with Shadis, Scholz still had it in him to look at the Commandant for permission. The retired Commander, albeit reluctantly, gives him the approval that everyone seems to be waiting for, and Scholz takes a step forward, copying you by showing off his own stretches.
You walk so that youâre about sparring distance from him before you look to Levi. âAre we allowed real hits?â
He shrugs, stepping back to give you and your opponent space, with Shadis doing the same. âIf you can manage.â
âHey, hey, waitââ Suddenly, the Scout is peddling back. âI canât actually hit a lady; Iâll pull my punches, donât worryââ
He lets out a loud groan when your fist connects with the side of his face, the impact loud enough that the cadets seem to flinch at the sound. Despite your focus being elsewhere, though, you still hear Levi chuckle.
âNo need to pull punches, Scholz,â you quip, but thereâs not a lot of time to be smug when he gets up, anger clear on his face, and charges at you. You put your dominant food forward, your hands in front of you and bent at the elbows so youâre protecting the sides of your head. Your palms are open and relaxed with your chin tucked in.
You sidestep quickly, letting the man stumble before youâre stepping back, turning around and sweeping him off his feet with on leg. Instead of pinning him down, you let him regain composure.
It would be sad to get this over with so fast.
When he charges again, you evade just as speedily, but this time he doesnât stumble. He turns and tries to land a punch that you effectively block with your forearms. Scholz steps to the side when you try to punch back and he grabs your hand, attempting to twist, but you catch him off guard when you kick his stomach roughly.
He manages to plant his feet and lunge forward, grabbing you by your throat. In no time you slam your arms downwards by the crook of his elbows and they bend, his hold notwithstanding the blowâyou donât attack, you let yourself be open to see what heâll do next.
His leg swings from the side in a roundhouse kick, you duck, then he tries to land two punches. You evade them once again, but on his second hit, you catch his fist once itâs past your face, freezing his whole arm for a split second before you land an elbow strike to his nose.
A sickening crunch is heard and you know youâve broken it, so for his sake, you decide to end the fight. You grab his arm again and you move so that youâre in front of him, holding his arm outward.
You step forward so your leg is just behind his and you sweep back, toppling him almost on his back, if it isnât for your hold on his arm and elbow. You turn your body so heâs behind you on your back, his arm slung around your shoulder which you support the joint of with your other hand, then your twist your hip, sending him over your body and down to the ground.
When a loud thud is heard, you walk forward and lean so youâre right above his face, which is upside down from your point of view. You tilt your head at him, then stand straight to face your Captain. âHe wasnât lying. He really canât hit a lady.â
You can hear victory bells ringing in your head when he has to face away from you, seemingly in disapproval of your disrespectful jokeâyou see it, though. The slight upward quirk of his mouth. Heâs trying not to at least chuckle.
You shake your head slightly in amusement before turning back to your opponent and extending a hand to help him up, but he doesnât accept. Scholz gets up on his own and dusts himself off, scoffing before walking away with the tips of his ears turning pink and his gait much less confident than it was before.
Levi calls him back, clearly irritated, but you stop him. âItâs fine; they donât fight humans, anyway.â Thatâs all you say, sending a sympathetic smile to Scholzâs way despite knowing he wonât see.
Whatever truce you and him had during the fightâthe kind where youâre both in agreement of something, which is that Scholz sucks at fightingâit breaks when he looks back at you and crosses his arms. âHeâs obviously shit. If we want a better example, you should fight me instead if you want to prove something.â
Shadis immediately says no, but Levi counters it by saying that Erwin would agree, especially if itâs for educational reason. âL/N was right earlier, with their stances. The one she used with Scholz is much better. Iâd say she uses it against me.â
You smile politely at the Commandant, not even out of breath. âThe Commander would agree, sir.â
As usual, he agrees, but he looks more tired than youâve seen him, even after yelling at the cadets all day. He doesnât say anything, just grunts in agreement before waving you off and standing back much farther than he did compared to your spar against Scholz.
It made you grin and look back at Levi, amused. You expected him to smirk but all he gives you is a deadpan look when he gets into position; the stance he uses is exactly like yours, and it seems practiced.
You wonder why he never bothered to adjust the cadetâs stances if he uses the same one you do.
Levi punches twice with the same hand and you manage to block them despite having no warningâall that you got was the quick whooshing sound of his hand moving through the air. With your slight tumble backward, he kicks and you move your arm to block his shin.
Goddamn, you think. His kicks are hard as fuck.
You lunge to punch him but he ducks down and elbows your rib, making you fall to the ground with a grunt. At least you know heâs not holding himself back; youâll have bruises there tomorrow.
He waits for you to get up but he doesnât do so for long, since youâre upright quick and punch twice. He ducks, and the split second it takes him to right himself youâre already kicking his stomach.
It lands. But he grabs your ankle as he stumbles and he twistsânot wanting to injure yourself, you go with the momentum and let yourself drop. You prop yourself up on your elbow and kick the side of his leg hard enough that he loses balance.
Levi doesnât fall but itâs enough for you to jump up and tackle him. He spins both of you around so that youâd fall below him but you anticipated it, so you both land on your sides.
He manages to overpower you and now heâs on top, pulling his fist back and landing a punch, but you block it with your arms. You raise your legs and wrap them around his hips, grabbing his shoulders and pushingâusing your hips as leverage you manage to roll to the side, effectively pushing him off of you.
Wasting no time you elbow him on his face, but he ducks and punches your stomach twice; the second one landing right where he hit your rib. It sends a spike of pain through you that you canât conceal as you yell in pain, but you donât fall.
Instead, you wait for himâheâs about to lunge, and he did, so you evade and once his back is to you, you elbow the back of his ribs and he grunts. Quickly, he turns and punches you in the faceâit lands, youâre starting to slow because of the pain on your ribs.
He moves to send you into an arm lock but you manage to counter it and land a hard kick to his other rib, Levi grabs your leg again and succeeds in throwing you down, this time on your stomach.
Huffing, you feel him pin your arms down behind you, thinking youâre about to lose.
But it appears he thinks that youâve given up; his hold isnât as tight. You break your arms free and roll on your back, punching the side of his face. You go for another hit but he catches it, his free handâs knuckles connecting with the side of your face.
It subdues you enough that heâs able to take hold of your wrists and put them above your headâthe sudden position makes your stomach drop, memories flashing in your mind, so instinctively, you spit on his face. Levi flinches in disgust and itâs enough of a distraction, so you headbutt him and kick his stomach.
He flies backwards and you move to lunge at himâ
âStop!â Shadis marches towards both of you and orders that you both stand up properly, which you do. âI think they get the point.â The only reason you think heâs not losing his mind right now is because youâre obviously both very respectable in your field.
You rub your wrists so soothe them, meanwhile, Levi curses under his breath as he wipes his face with his shirt.
To your surprise, however, heâs not overly angry at you. Youâve heard heâs a clean freak. Instead, he looks suspicious and even more wary of you than he was before. The expression disappears as quickly as it came, though.
âYou were reckless,â he seethed, teeth grinding against each other as he looks at you with piercing eyes. âIf I had a weapon, I couldâve killed you if you tried that shit in real life. Playing dirty doesnât always mean you get out of danger.â
You chuckle humourlessly. âI have tried,â you mutter. Your eyes meet, though your expression is more tired than aggressive. âI havenât been killed yet,â you shrug.
When you glance at the cadets, their facial expressions are all a mix of being impressed and horrified that theyâd just seen a real fight. Despite being soldiers, youâre not sure if theyâve ever been exposed to this level of human violence before, especially with individuals as trained as you and Levi.
While you donât think your fight was all that show-stopping, you do agree that Levi is incredibly quickâmuch faster than you, and definitely with a lot more endurance for pain. You canât imagine how fast he could be on ODM.
You pride yourself in speed and timing when it comes to combatâboth with gear and without, so you can commend Levi that he gave you a run for your money. Had Shadis not stopped you both, you swear you wouldâve gotten your ass handed to you within a minute.
At least this way you can pretend itâs a stalemate, for no other reason than to make Levi think someone couldâve stood a chance against him. While you doubted it would be reciprocated, you dust yourself off and extend a hand toward the Captain.
Levi stares, but accepts it, and his hand is finally in yours.
His hands are calloused, but still soft. Youâre not sure if thatâs because his grip is surprisingly gentle of itâs because he probably washes them so much out of habit.
Youâre both looking disheveled with blood and bruises spotting your faces, but you canât help the tired grin on your face. âThat was nice, Captain,â you express, completely out of breath but proud you manage to hold your own against him. Heâs deserving of his titles, you think. âTechnically, weâre at a stalemate, but I wouldâve lost had it gone on for longer.â
Oh how easy it is to let go of pettiness sometimes. His hand in yours made you reconsider if you really want him to think youâre on his levelânot when heâs so deserving of the unreachable league heâs currently in.
He huffs and lets go of your hand. âYouâre filthy; get yourself cleaned up.â Thatâs all he says before he walks away. âNot bad. But try not to get your spit on me next time.â
The Captain doesnât even turn around; he knows youâre listening.
Shadis walks up to you, his eyes set on the cadets before they land on you. âEveryone,â he calls out, and you immediately see the budding soldiers straighten their backs and fix their positionsâalmost by instinct. âLet this teach you never to undermine authority,â he barks.
Despite everything that happened after Scholz left, the Commandant still look pretty hung up on the impudent soldier. Â
He faces the rest of the future graduates and glances at you from the corner of his eye. ââŠUnless youâre Representative L/N.â You can sense the hint of humour in his tone, but itâs still mostly serious, which makes you worry that the cadets might take that a little too seriously; youâre not sure if you want that reputation after Scholz.
If that isnât flattering and embarrassing enough to make your cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink though, then youâre doomed the moment you spot Erwin in the distance with a giddy Hange next to him.
You wouldnât be reprimanded for egging Levi on.
Worse, youâd be endlessly teased and interrogated. Hange, you can handle, but your cousinâyou might need a second to prepare yourself for.
Whatever Erwin thinks he knows about your history with Levi is harmless at best. Deep down, though, heâs a meddler once he sets his mind on something.
And thereâs definitely something brewing in that brain of his, especially now that youâve indirectly proven to him that a potential partnership with Levi would be to the benefit of the Corps.
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting âzuccedâ aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like âhe got unalived by a pew pewâ were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isnât corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow weâve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we canât have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
so that close calls zanka fic is TASTY. im still thinking about until now. reader is op and hella creative with her power, where did u even looked up the stuff she could do.
AND ZANKA WANTING TO BEAT JABBER UP. i wonder what jabber would do. he would def taunt zanka about "where is ms. supersoldier, i love her bites and barks. shes so mean~â€ïž"
HELLOOOO THANK YOU SO MUCHHH AND Y E A H she's 100% OP, which is partly why I needed her to get beaten up so much w(ïŸĐïŸ)w it makes sense she does anyway bc it's not like she knows how fuckin strong Jabber actually is smh.
It took a LOT of googling and research to get Ayane fully developed honestly àČ ïčàČ BUT fun fact, I wrote (and didn't finish) a fanfic before for a different fandom years ago where the character has similar powers, so I actually have a lot of previous research on sound energy !! I just recycled it here bc it's a waste I never got to finish the old fic (ÂŽăïŒżăïœ)
HONESTLY I wanna write a part two of this set in the episode where they get trapped in that flying trash beast trying to get to the Sphere. Because 1.) I wanna see Zanka get really mad at Jabber and 2.) I think that a 2nd round between Jabber and Y/N would be really cool since she knows what she's up against, and you best believe our girl will p r e p a r e for any future encounters with him.
Jabber would DEFINITELY taunt Zanka and Zanka would always always fall for it bc no one hurts his beef noodle soup buddy (ïœïżŁ(OO)ïżŁ)ă
(and also so sorry for answering this late, my schedule has been absolutely packed T-T)
started reading the close calls fic yesterday and reread THRICE. u wrote that masterpiece with an IV in u? bruh u incredible đ«Ą. all the recovery in the world to you.
if reader did adhere to her 1 month recovery, I believe there would be weeks overlapping where zanka would be recovering with her since they both got fenty krueger'ed. perhaps they could finally finish a steaming hot bowl of BEEF NOODLE SOUP and chatting away
OR reader uses ayane and slowly but surely heals herself with the frequency. dont know much about physics, but if vibrations could travel, then hand-holding with zanka means that he could be healed by ayane at the same time
speaking of ayane, reader is so well informed about sound, frequency, and vibrations that she has various interpretations of her power allowing it to branch out extensively. genius? an overstatement. curious and creative? definitely. she probably had fun theorizing and experimenting that it didnt rlly dawn to her that she's getting strong.
THIS GIRL CAN KILL. if she can only do so without leaving evidence for enjin then perhaps she might've đ
poor enjin, he can only watch over riyo and reader one at a time đ
im already having a bunch of thoughts over a one shot i probably look insane rambling đ. but seriously well done, and also:
magpagaling ka ng maayos bhie, rest well
SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY TO THIS OML
Anyway I feel like it's almost required of me to respond with "KABABAYAAAAANNN" first XD.
AND THANK YOU SO MUCH KAHDKAHD you really read it three times ?? T-T And yes I got really bored at the hospital and thought that the best way to spend my time was to indulge myself in finishing this long ass fic.
AND YES actually since her abilities involve vibrations and control over them, she can easily "share" it with Zanka so they can heal together !! Though since, as far as I know, only low frequencies work best in doing that, the frequencies would have to be equally dispersed, so they m i g h t heal slower, but that's just my theory. I lost it at fenty krueger btw my boyfriend had to tell me that it's an actual name people use àČ„_àČ„
And yk, the reason why I made Ayane lowkey OP, is because I was wondering how a fight can turn out if someone can be as insane in a fight as Jabber is because jesus that man is OP as fuck. But I also thought that if someone were to go against him, they would have to be able to match the insanity, which was why I made Y/N so emotionally invested in it. Jabber is such a unique character in terms of his kookooness i think so I wanted a character who can sorta match it, but without the instability yk?
Because yes, Enjin can only watch over Riyo or Y/N at the same time (ïœïżŁâœïżŁ)ïœ
And I also d o believe that by the time she realized that Jabber is super hyper crazy, she would definitely have killed him so they won't have to worry about him again. But I also think, aside from Enjin's moral code, I don't think she could have killed him---not in that state, at least. She's OP but Jabber hurt her REAL bad. So I think maybe later on she'd be able to handle him but not without a lot of practice effort during the actual battle.
And n o you do NOT look insane at all `(*>ïč<*)âČ I actually really appreciate you sending this because I love being able to discuss my writing, since a lot of work was put into planning it and god knows nothing goes according to plan most of the time, which means even I get surprised about what happens and I don't expect half this shit happening àČ ïčàČ
THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAINNN ILYYYY YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE ON THE INBOX OF THIS ACCOUNT EVERRRRR (and sorry again for replying so late, I've been super swamped lately !! T-T)
