Okay so this isn’t a normal post I would make but in the spirit of it both being pride month and the fact I just finished the movie and went into it only knowing it was something to do with queer horror and my little and twin brother super liked it, I want to just ramble about my thoughts on I Saw The TV Glow by Jane Schoenbrun.
I was not the movies target audience, that’s not to say that oh I hate the movie or oh it wasn’t for me, but more to the effect of, I personally am not a trans individual which the movie is about and I think speaks pretty well about. I think the way Owen was portrayed and written was so real in the way I saw it. Them being paralleled to Isabel, what they could’ve been if they just looked a little more and came to terms and realized it was possible, it was something I’ve seen and I don’t even think I’ve really thought on or truly noticed until now.
I think it’s because I watched that and all I could see was my little brother. Even though not biologically related to me, I’ve seen him as family and a sibling to me. I’ve known him since we were practically babies (a decade when we graduated because we are geezers, but less on that) and I’ve watched him grow and change and I’ve always been so incredibly proud of who is who and who he’s becoming now matter what. And I remember watching him in real time realize that he could become a boy if he wanted to. I think the idea was always there looking back now, but it really clicked I think when I introduced him to my twin brother (also not biologically related to me but I’ve always seen my friends as an extension of my own family) who was very openly out and trans already. I watched him realize that it was there, it had always been there no matter what he previously thought. I don’t know if he noticed that I noticed or caught on. I remember using nicknames a lot after I was a good 75% sure I wasn’t making it up when I saw him look so uncomfortable when people used his deadname. I remember not long after also picking up they/them pronouns when he really started to cringe at people using his deadname and she/her pronouns to address him.
I, much to my own personal embarrassment and regret, don’t remember how or when he truly and properly told me and asked me to use his now name. But I remember that when I said of course and that I loved him no matter what, it looked like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.
I think the movie really brought that first to mind after I finished it, because of how raw it felt in every scene involving the idea that Owen was Isabel even if they didn’t know how to accept it and Maddy showing up and very much having already accepted she was Terra.
I think Maddy is a very good foil to Owen in the way she accepts that she is Terra. She does a very good job to emphasize the differences between her and Owen. She highlighted a lot of how Owen struggles and shied away from the fear of what they might find inside, if they look deeper. She showed how where it was easier for her to see and know and accept it, Owen hid for their feelings and the difficulties of seeing what truly was inside them.
I think using ‘there is still time’ as a way to describe how it feels is so important, and I really like the message. I believe that there is still time wholeheartedly, there is and always still be time, you’re not alone, you’re rushed, this isn’t something you have to know right this second, because you have time to think and understand it all. You can always learn new things about yourself, no matter how small and mindless it may be or how big and difficult it could feel, you have the time to deal with it all if you just give yourself room to breathe.
I also really liked the cinematography of the whole film, and personally I think it was beautifully done and portrayed so much more emotion than any words in a scene could have at a lot of points. The emphasis on wide and open shots and scenes felt so narratively important that it really shows how visual storytelling can be so impactful. Three very specific points where they do this that really stuck out to me was the power line scene, the supermarket scene, and Maddy/Terra’s dialogue.
In the first one, everything is loud in the that they don’t have dialogue but it was so clear the way they wanted you to feel and show how Owen felt in that moment. They are so close yet so far away as pages scatter, the power line whips and zaps, and they stand and stare at it all. I liked the division of the visual in the thirds format that forces your perspective to the center despite it being the darkest place on screen with the least going on to really get the full picture.
The second one was very interesting to me in the way it separates the top and the bottom and makes it a very thin much wider part where all the characters are is very interesting to me because the visual isn’t something you see much (or maybe I just don’t watch enough movies).
Now…. Maddy/Terra’s monologue…….
I loved the way they shot the side head shot and didn’t make her look towards the camera until she moved and stood dead center. I really liked that visual and then when she went and continued on it about how she was far the camera slowly panned out and you wouldn’t really notice until she mentioned being far. I just think these are all cool visuals ngl I’m lowkey just yapping.
Overall? 10/10 movie, 1000% recommend if you’re interested in queer horror, super cool cinematography and/or are or have trans friends and family!!
