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TW

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

Welcome

I’d like to introduce myself.

I’m 20 years old

I’m 5’9” & 112 lbs

I’m an addict and anorexic

I cope through humor, sarcasm, and cynicism

Thank you for joining me and

Enjoy your stay

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

I’m in recovery. Trauma is a bitch. I’m getting regular flashbacks and it’s not fun. Recovery is nice though. Although I have been feeling more emotions, I’m not thinking about food all the goddamn time. I’m learning more about myself and I’m healing. It’s a slow process. It’s been hard and good.

If you’re thinking about taking steps towards recovery, this is your sign. Make the call or appointment or something. You’re worth it.

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

Can I get some advice?

So my dietitian thinks I’m eating three meals and two snacks a day. I am not bcz I’ve started to relapse tough. I still meet with her every week, but I’ve started just blatantly lying to her. It was my choice to get a dietitian in the first place, and now I feel like there’s no point in continuing to see her if I’m just gonna waste my time and money.

I feel like I need to not have her as my dietician, but I’m scared of telling her I can’t see her anymore. What do I even say? “Hey, actually I’ve decided to see how long I can go without eating before I have to be hospitalized. Thanks for the help ✌️” Like?? Idk if you guys have any comments or smth, or think I should actually continue w recovery, or u wanna tell me I’m too old to be on this app if I have the ability to decide not to see my dietician, then lmk

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

I feel so bloated and gross. The fact that my stomach sticks further out than my hipbones makes me sick. I feel so out of control when my belt isn’t lose. My skin folds above my belly button when I’m sitting down and I hate it. I hate being bloated.

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

The feminine urge to self destruct

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

Why am I so much better when I’m starving myself? I clean more often, I fall asleep easily, I drink less, I exercise, I do my homework, I’m on time, I cook (when I do eat), I eat more vegetables, I meditate, I do yoga, I engage in my creative outlets.

I’ve been eating more recently, and I spent twelve (TWELVE!!) hours on my phone today. I didn’t do any of my homework, it was a chore to shower, and I had cereal for dinner. WHY?!

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

I am so unmotivated to be productive. And I hate myself for it. My self loathing is manifesting into laziness and a depressive episode. I wish it was the type of self loathing that makes me work myself to death as a way to distract myself from my emotions. She’s fun. Where did she go?

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

PSA: you don’t lose weight over night. You just don’t.

In order to accurately track your weight, weigh yourself at the same time every day. You might see a minor difference day-to-day, but the real change comes on a week-to-week basis.

Don’t beat yourself up over something your body can’t physically do. And don’t forget to stay safe.

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

Me last year

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

I’m so bloated. I spent all weekend drinking. I feel like shit. I really need to get my shit together.

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

What if my ed is the only thing stopping me from becoming a full-blown alcoholic? Do I get a pass or smth??? Celebrate with drinks?

[pinkfeeblemuffin]

If your ed is rooted in gender dysphoria, clap your hands 👏👏

[pinkfeeblemuffin]