z

don't threaten me with a good time, honey (rp only)

[hailsbcldwin]

don't think we'll ever find common ground on this one. the pain is real. we just gotta find a way to live with it. romeo and juliet ? now you're just being over the top dramatic. there's no way i'll eat one of those muffins, you'll never know when the next drug test might come around. you could potentially bribe me with some chocolate though.

[pinkhairedzayn]

you know, we're going to live with it. i hope so anyway. please, over the top dramatic? okay, maybe i am but that's honestly why people love me so there's that. drama, my middle name. chocolate is the only thing i will be having from now on... perhaps some raspberry but there's that. we don't want any risk.

[dvaslipas]

not bitter, babe. more so disgusted and just tired of your face constantly showing up again when i thought i finally got rid of you. my face is perfectly fine, thank you very much. you're usually such a good, convincing liar. but calling yourself god's most perfect child ? you're so delusional, you should start seeing a therapist again.

[pinkhairedzayn]

aw, well maybe you should stop being so obsessed with me and stop looking for me whenever you can. maybe you need some help in getting over me, i'm sure someone can help you with that. y'know, we could maybe need that after having to deal with talking with you again. nothing makes me need more therapy.

[bennyboonex]

just let me live, lad. was a bit of a downer of a day and i needed the little boost. he don't look too bad to me but then again, no one should ask me nothing about style. everyone's seen the state of me hair on the regular. by the time we finish next spring, it'll be over a hundred shows for this tour. christ, taking a year off after that. maybe. yeah, i'm off for the whole of december, just wanting to be spending more time with freddie over the holidays. you and khai got big plans?

[pinkhairedzayn]

bit of a downer day? no don't say that, i'll be sad for that. you know i never mean to make you anything but happy, my sunshine. not the most stylish lad we know, but the laddiest lad which is something impressive. over a hundred shows is just absolutely insane. so proud of you and seeing all your fans so happy for you. khai and i have big, big plans. sugar plans, most definitely. there will be lots of baking. also, every part of the house will be covered in glitter.

[mrnickgalitzine-deactivated2025]

i've always heard poppy seeds can do that yet never really had any. thanks for confirming this for me. now i'll never be left wondering. the reason question is -- why were you taking a drug test ?

[pinkhairedzayn]

happy to help, handsome. though it would have made it much better for me if more people had been ending up caught like this... now i feel unique, and not in a very good way. i had to do one for promo, so silly. and i had been such a good boy so it feels like for nothing.

[pinkhairedzayn]

i know, i know cam. i truly have to do better here. zayn the mythbuster is a very nice title. mythbusters might be ready for a bit of a re-doing, so we can be the new duo. i say everyone would love watching us do this in like a youtube series.

[hailsbcldwin]

can't believe you're calling me a liar. i never lie. maybe a white lie here and there, but that's it. you reap what you sow, my friend. you were the one putting a knife in my back first when you wrongfully accused me of judging for more than a minute. we're both out here bleeding to death. good thing we love each other, that'll heal all wounds. i'll forgive you eventually.

[pinkhairedzayn]

i ain't calling ya a truther, that's for sure. the knife is in, we might as well just accept the double knife happening here. we'll bleed to death but remember our love, it's like romeo and juliet-esque dramas right here. maybe i can bribe you with a poppy seed muffin?

[dvaslipas]

for a second i thought they finally got your ass and i was ready to celebrate, already popping the champagne bottles in my head. poppy seed muffins - nice excuse. for some reason, you always seem to manage to talk yourself out of shit and find someone or something else to blame for your wrong doings. i applaud you.

[pinkhairedzayn]

aren't you bitter still, dua? you do know it gives you wrinkles, right? we don't want to mess up that face even more so you better watch out. me, wrong doings? please, i'm god's most perfect child. stop being so negative, it's so 2022.

[lukehcmmngs-deactivated20240101]

shh, just accept it. life is easier when you come to terms with the truth. you know it. i'm up every morning, refreshing your page in hopes of a new post. you caught me, z.

[pinkhairedzayn]

hmmm i'll see if i can be accepting, we never know. oh darling, i see how it is but you know if you ask nicely i can just send you some private pictures now and then. might be a snap of me taking a dump but y'know, still a pic just for you.

[bennyboonex]

i'm perfect as i am, mate. why would i wanna go changing? messing with perfection just don't sound like a good idea. pfft, don't be trying to confuse me now. it won't work. mate, it doesn't take them that much to lose their shite. you see how they've been losing it over harold's haircut. they ain't quite right. bloody hell, can you believe i've been on the road for like six months now and i've still got loads more dates coming up next year. rip.

[pinkhairedzayn]

perfect, hm? someone's a bit full of themselves here lad, it's what i hear. well to be fair, harold does look a bit like a goofy golf ball so who wouldn't lose their shit over that? six months, damn, you're such a workaholic. do you at least get some time off for your birthday? feel we need a big birthday bash for ya.

[amybaudelaire-deactivated202408]

It is very difficult. Do you ever miss being in the band? I still have solo dance parties to your guys' albums once in a while. Something like that, yeah. We'll see what happens. As of right now the only finished project is Hal and Harper which is a new TV show. Everything else is still a work in progress. Oh yeah? That sounds like fun. Which energy drinks?

[pinkhairedzayn]

no... not really. i'm very grateful for everything and the opportunities it gave me, and i can miss the lads and all but i know that band and surrounding everything wasn't great for me so, not really. that sounds amazing though, i hope all the projects turns out great lils! it's my own brand, so a new one basically. teamed up with this company.

[keepingupwithzaynmalik]

Zayn via instagram

[oliviaisrodrigo-deactivated2024]

How many is too many? I just had one for breakfast and now I'm freaking out. I didn't know that was an actual thing. I thought it was one of those stupid rumours people made up for the sake of it. Well, hopefully you didn't get into any trouble with that. It would suck if people hadn't believed you when you said it was from a muffin.

[pinkhairedzayn]

i think one will be fine. i had... a few more. i'm not going to admit to how many because i really don't want to be judged here by you, believe me. no thankfully they believed me, it's a known thing apparently? i don't know, i didn't show any other symptoms so, clearly it was no actual drugs involved but damn, i was wondering if i was sleep walking into pills for a moment there.

[taylorsverslon]

That can actually happen? I'd always thought that were some kind of rumours. You've put me off ever wanting go eat a poppy seed muffin again just in case something goes wrong and I have to get drug tested now. Chocolate was always the way to go anyway. Why you even thought otherwise is a complete mystery to me. Did you managed to clear it up by telling them what actually happened?

[pinkhairedzayn]

you and me both tay, you and me both. it doesn't make you feel anything but apparently some of these drug tests are so 'good' they can find even the smallest amount... hence, poppy seeds being a little devil. everything is fine, it all worked out but damn, i will never, ever turn my back on chocolate again. might go raspberry glaze if i'm feeling adventurous but there's that.

[dvaliipasss-deactivated20240902]

how could you fail a drug test? you got a lot of resources, zayn. i'm disappointed that you didn't do that, and accepted your fate. however, maybe you learned your lesson. / @pinkhairedzayn

[pinkhairedzayn]

kenny, what did you think i should do? i knew i wasn't going to fail, i didn't have any drugs! those little poppy seed bastards just did a number on me. absolutely awful. i've always managed before to... get out without trouble.

[shcwclf]

And this is why I've always told you to choose chocolate. I've heard about that being a thing with poppy seeds but I didn't realize it was a thing. Is everything okay, Z?

[pinkhairedzayn]

from now on, that's all i will eat. breakfast, lunch, dinner, that's what i will be having. no arguments there. oh i'm good, they realised it was a mistake and i could go ahead and do promo videos as planned.

[fvrgedsecrets]

i've heard of that happening with poppy seeds and it sounds awful. especially when you know you haven't done anything. and this is why i'll always choose chocolate. why did you even have to get a drug test done?

[pinkhairedzayn]

yeah, and it doesn't even affect you in the fun way, so it's like, what's the point of showing as bad in tests when i'm not even getting the good vibes? money back. doing promo, you know how it is. thought i'd be a good one and not have chocolate but damn, i've learned my lesson.

[faierieperrie]

never ever ? are you pullin' my leg, zayn? i thought the whole poppy seed thing was a myth but i'll keep this information in my back pocket. and why are you getting drug tested?

[pinkhairedzayn]

mister horan, when have i ever pulled anything of yours? wait, don't answer that, i just realised how it sounded and we're going to move on. i'm doing promo! i need to be a good boy. and i have been! just a muffin mishap. apparently happens to the best of us.