[seongpinkhwa]

can you trigger tag bisexuality please

no but i can fuck both your parents

[kaijuno]

All Pelicans go to jail challenge

[kaijuno]

[ryangoslingofficial-deactivated]

hows the streaming selection on tuvi? what about gigi? vumbi and pubu? tobi? Guvu?

[roboticoperatingbud]

fucked up in the crib watching tubi

[pencilbrony]

[vantwinblade]

I hate you all.

[catsbeaversandducks]

[youraffectionatedad]

Not even the Cone of Shame can stop this bloodthirsty man-eating predator!!

[qats]

so a 90’s computer hacker was at walmart today

[mfluder-blog]

everything i have ever needed

[ninetail-fox]

pink in the night ,Kawasaki

[givemethefeeels]

[mohammed1j-deactivated20231114]

[shitpostempire]

[paprika]

[krasna-devica]

Kirovskaya Oblast, Russia  

[satanfictive-old]

Nice legs. Daisy dukes. Makes a man go. There he goes. He’s gone.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So is the fairy monarch democratically elected?

Fairy: I think the one from a small corner of Alabama might be but for the most part, no. It’s still decided by a contest between the three oldest children.

Me: What kind of competition?

Fairy: Well it used to be to the death but that was too violent so these days each kingdom comes up with their own. In mine I think they play marbles but I’ve never seen one.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: Okay so why shouldn’t I say thank you or give gifts in return for favors?

Fairy: That’s mostly a regional thing but where I’m from it’s insulting to the wealth of the person giving you stuff. Like you really only thank people when what they did was like a huge burden so if you thank someone for giving you something that’s like calling them poor.

Me: Fairies have wealth inequality?

Fairy: I mean we technically still live under a feudal system if I’m being honest but with modern technology and ethics nobody notices.

Me: Do you have Internet down there?

Fairy: Only dial-up. That’s why I come to your house.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So you’re telling me that human men don’t think that frog eyes are sexy?

Me: Well not most of them to my knowledge.

Fairy: So I bought these contacts for nothing.

Me: Hey man you don’t have to be a frog spirit to lure men into your clutches. Plenty of dudes are into cat eyes and ghoulish moaning.

Fairy: You really think so?

Me: I know so! Stop doubting yourself so much. You can definitely find some mortal men to lure into the timeless void for several centuries and adopt a demon cat with you.

Fairy: Thanks, man. That means a lot.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Fairy: So humans... don’t eat glass?

Me: No? It’ll cut up our insides and kill us.

Fairy: Ooohhhh. Oh no.

Me: What did you do now?

Fairy: More like... what I’ve done over the past three centuries since I moved out of my mom’s house.

Me: Did the coughing up of blood not cue you into anything?!?!!

Fairy: I thought that humans just spontaneously die sometimes!

Me: No we don’t! There’s physical reasons for these things!

Fairy: So... no more bringing nightshade and glass entrees to the potluck?

Me: No!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Me: So why mushrooms as portals?

Fairies: Look man, even we don’t mess with mushrooms alright? Sometimes they open up a portal to the human world and it’s just best to not question it.

Me: So wait. You don’t make the fairy circles?

Fairy: No. Mushrooms decide.

[dualvoidanima]

[literalnobody]

Nothing is funnier to me than Mr Darcy telling his best friend not to propose to the girl he loves bc 1. Her family are unsuitable and 2. She doesn't truly like him enough to marry... only to then himself propose to a woman who is 1. From the exact same family and 2. Has done nothing but roast him since they met

[cewn]

[fox-sanguinis]

Fuck! I can’t stop thinking about him