One Whole Rotisserie Dumbass

🌻::Maddy: 24: )(: Queer: she/her::🌻

[whitepeopletwitter]

Poor little otter

[funnytwittertweets]

[fizzywrench]

[impolitecanadian]

imagine being able to listen to carry on my wayward son, objectively a fucking banger of a song, without inflicting psychic damage on yourself 

[lexalor3]

how DARE you keep this in the tags

[nepofledgling]

adhd is the disorder where the “don’t want to get in the shower and don’t want to get out of the shower” feeling applies to every single thing you do at all times

[pinky-cheeks]

*blows dust off of my account*

Oy, got some work to do

[autogynephiladelphia]

Tony Hawk is like fucking Perry the Platypus because if I saw him without a skateboard I'd be like "A man" and the second he picks up a skateboard I'd be like "TONY HAWK?!?!?!?!?!"

[therealraewest]

This basically sums up all his tweets

[yennefahs]

a man: 🗣 Yennefer: 🙅🏽‍♀️

[insomniac-arrest]

a graph based on my observations

[urocyonfox-deactivated20210104]

holy fuck……

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

At the top of the chart is the line going off the graph with the caption “rules don’t apply to grandma” under it.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[spookihope]

you know when you’re eating a sandwich and you go to take a bite and like a huge chunk of your favorite part just slips out (like say your eating a blt and you accidentally pull out a whole piece of bacon) and you’re torn because on the one hand that bite is going to be the best bite ever but on the other hand the rest of your sandwich just lost a valuable team player 3 minutes into the game and no one’s sure how it’s going to be able to cover that loss.

[spookihope]

who knew my most popular text post of the year would be about eating a sandwich

[pinky-cheeks]

Okay so I’m like.. never on here anymore (shocker) but like

Follow me on tiktok @ pinky_cheeks

[pinky-cheeks]

Okay so I’m like.. never on here anymore (shocker) but like

Follow me on tiktok @ pinky_cheeks

[pinky-cheeks]

What do you even do when your date mates love language is Words of Affirmation, but what they’re saying is.. starting to grate on you..

Like I feel so selfish and bitchy about complaining about it but like... idk

[spellchased-deactivated20210321]

plant haven home by @my_tiny_jungalow

[mysharona1987]

[glumshoe]

Me: “Welcome! May I offer you a free mask?”

Visitor: [looks around incredulously] “But why? There’s no one else here.”

Me: “...well...there’s me?”

Visitor: [laughs] “You don’t have anything to worry about.”

[sandersstudies]

I work in two different service jobs, one high-brow and one low-brow, and I’m growing increasingly believing in a future where masks are the indication of the lower class.  

I don’t actually believe in some kind of apocalypse where only the poor wear face coverings, but when you’re in a building where every service employee is masked and washing up every 15 minutes, and every “visitor” is maskless and under no obligation to follow any rules of sanitation, and making jokes about the mask on their servers...... vaguely terrifying.

And it’s a PRIVILEGE that they don’t have to wear masks. They are able to do it with relative safety BECAUSE the employees are scrubbing their hands like they’re going into surgery. The employees are maintaining patterns and setups that prevent groups and force social distancing. The visitor will not come into contact with any other guests except those they arrived with, and will likely be very safe. Meanwhile the employee is touching and dirty items the customers are finished with (abandoned trash, plates and silverware they’ve eaten with, etc.) and cleaning surfaces including bathrooms after visitor use, and interacting with dozens if not hundreds of people over the course of their shift.

Visitors don’t have to wear masks because the retail and service workers of the world are working to make them safe while putting themselves at risk of daily exposure.

[meanplastic]