It’s All For Naught

You don't need this, you don't need me.

[nevver]

Party down, Scott Daniel Ellison

[nevver]

Meltdown, Franciska Maderthaner

[nevver]

Feeling/faking

[elveepee]

a story so far

art by LVP more here

[pinocchio3298]

I want to tell her but I do NOT want her to know.

[johnfkennedyofficial]

“There’s a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving who they really are.”

— White Collar (via wordsthat-speak)

[fluttershyplushie]

honestly the boundaries between friendship and romance don’t really matter that much like at all if everyone involved is ok with it

[fluttershyplushie]

like most of what is and isn’t romance is cultural/constructed anyways... you can take and leave what you want with it as long as you maintain boundaries. does that make sense

[thoughts-left-unspoke]

[feral-ballad]

Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You with the crack running through you”

[Text ID: “I wanted to put / my mouth on you / and draw out whatever toxin… / —but I understand. There are limits to love.”]

[flowrrs4u]

I am good. I am loved.

[quotesjunkie]

Quotes Junkie:

The Vampire Diaries

[nevver]

No choice

[pinocchio3298]

Why I’ll never ever tell her that I like liked her

Sometimes I think “well it’s all said and done now, there’s no harm in telling her the truth of how I really felt, right?

But the more I think about it, the more I can’t help but come to the same conclusion: there IS harm in telling her. Saying “haha I actually liked you the whole time, crazy right?” won’t magically make her into me. I can fantasize all I want about how maybe she’ll change her mind, but I know how to stay realistic. At best nothing changes, and at worst she could perceive me, my actions, and my motivations as something completely misconstrued.

I just really care about her and she means the world to me. I love her brain and I crave to know more. I have mastered mentally melting whatever crush-like thoughts I’ve had about her into raw platonic “I give a damn” juice. The thought of her thinking ANYTHING I’ve done in our friendship only came from romantic intentions is too much to bear.

If telling her means she goes even 1% further away from me because she gets icked, then I’d rather take this entire thing to my grave. I want to be as close as I can to her without her having any reservations about me.

If I cannot love her as a lover, I will love her as a friend. And if that means pretending that I *never* liked her like that to begin with (even potentially slipping into legitimate personal denial about it down the road) then that’s just how it’s going to be.

[pinocchio3298]

and to think that all this happened while I still liked her just as much as she liked him

[nevver]

This is my knife

[stoicmike]

We take secrets to our graves that are no big deal to anyone but ourselves. - Michael Lipsey

[xemxija]