Party down, Scott Daniel Ellison

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@pinocchio3298
Party down, Scott Daniel Ellison
Meltdown, Franciska Maderthaner
Feeling/faking
a story so far
art by LVP more here
I want to tell her but I do NOT want her to know.
“There’s a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving who they really are.”
— White Collar (via wordsthat-speak)
honestly the boundaries between friendship and romance don’t really matter that much like at all if everyone involved is ok with it
like most of what is and isn’t romance is cultural/constructed anyways... you can take and leave what you want with it as long as you maintain boundaries. does that make sense
Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You with the crack running through you”
[Text ID: “I wanted to put / my mouth on you / and draw out whatever toxin… / —but I understand. There are limits to love.”]
I am good. I am loved.
Quotes Junkie:
The Vampire Diaries
No choice
Why I’ll never ever tell her that I like liked her
Sometimes I think “well it’s all said and done now, there’s no harm in telling her the truth of how I really felt, right?
But the more I think about it, the more I can’t help but come to the same conclusion: there IS harm in telling her. Saying “haha I actually liked you the whole time, crazy right?” won’t magically make her into me. I can fantasize all I want about how maybe she’ll change her mind, but I know how to stay realistic. At best nothing changes, and at worst she could perceive me, my actions, and my motivations as something completely misconstrued.
I just really care about her and she means the world to me. I love her brain and I crave to know more. I have mastered mentally melting whatever crush-like thoughts I’ve had about her into raw platonic “I give a damn” juice. The thought of her thinking ANYTHING I’ve done in our friendship only came from romantic intentions is too much to bear.
If telling her means she goes even 1% further away from me because she gets icked, then I’d rather take this entire thing to my grave. I want to be as close as I can to her without her having any reservations about me.
If I cannot love her as a lover, I will love her as a friend. And if that means pretending that I *never* liked her like that to begin with (even potentially slipping into legitimate personal denial about it down the road) then that’s just how it’s going to be.
and to think that all this happened while I still liked her just as much as she liked him
This is my knife
We take secrets to our graves that are no big deal to anyone but ourselves. - Michael Lipsey