*/ RING DING DING DING

the best of both worlds, this is supposed to be a serious sport. yadda yadda.

[pitcrewz]

A PRIVATE &. FRIENDS ONLY RACING MULTI MUSE WRITTEN BY SATINE, SIDEBLOG TO HERMNNZ. IF NOT PERSONALLY INVITED TO DOING SO, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM FOLLOWING AND I NTERACTING WITH IT FOR MY OWN CONFORT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

THE PITCREW AWAITS YOU, DOC. FRANZ HERMMAN. ALEJANDRO VAZQUEZ.

[mistfallenmemes]

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝙾𝙿𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙰

"I heard you calling on the megaphone."

"You wanna see me all alone."

"Legend has it, you are quite the pyro."

"You light the match to watch it blow."

"And if you'd never come for me I might've drowned in the melancholy."

"I swore my loyalty to me, myself, and I right before you lit my sky up."

"All that time I sat alone in my tower."

"You were just honing your powers."

"Now I can see it all."

"Late one night you dug me out of my grave."

"Keep it one hundred on the land, thе sea, the sky."

"Pledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes."

"Don't care where the hell you've been."

"'Cause now, you're mine."

"Don't care where the hell you've been, 'cause now you're mine."

"It's 'bout to be the sleepless night you've been dreaming of."

"You might also like Elizabeth Taylor."

"(I'm/You're) the eldest daughter of a nobleman."

"Ophelia lived in fantasy."

"Love was a cold bed full of scorpions."

"The venom stole her sanity."

"And if you'd never come for me,I might've lingered in purgatory."

"You wrap around me like a chain, a crown, a vine."

"You're pulling me into the fire."

"'Tis locked inside my memory and only you possess the key."

"I'm no longer drowning and deceived."

"You saved my heart from the fate of Ophelia."

𝙴𝙻𝙸𝚉𝙰𝙱𝙴𝚃𝙷 𝚃𝙰𝚈𝙻𝙾𝚁

"Do you think it's forever?"

"That view of Portofino was on my mind when you called me at the Plaza Athénée."

"Oftentimes it doesn't feel so glamorous to be me."

"All the right guys promised they'd stay."

"Under bright lights, they withered away, but you bloom."

"And I think you know why."

"And I think you know why, and if your letters ever said, 'goodbye'."

"I'd cry my eyes violet, Elizabeth Taylor."

"Tell me for real, do you think it's forever?"

"Been number one, but I never had two."

"Be my New York when Hollywood hates me."

"You're only as hot as your last hit, baby."

"I can't have fun if I can't have you."

"What could you possibly get for the girl who has everything and nothing all at once?"

"Babe, I would trade the Cartier for someone to trust."

"We hit the best booth at Musso and Frank's."

"They say I'm bad news, I just say, 'thanks'."

"And you look at me like you're hypnotized."

"And if you ever leave me high and dry."

"All my white diamonds and lovers are forever."

"In the papers, on the screen, and in their minds."

"All my white diamonds and lovers are forever. In the papers, on the screen, and in their minds."

"Don't you ever end up anything but mine."

𝙾𝙿𝙰𝙻𝙸𝚃𝙴

"I had a bad habit of missing lovers past

"My brother used to call it, 'eating out of the trash'

"It's never gonna last

"I thought my house was haunted."

"I used to live with ghosts."

"And all the perfect couples said, 'when you know, you know' and, 'when you don't, you don't'."

"All of the foes, and all of the friends."

"They've seen it before, they'll see it again."

"Life is a song, it ends when it ends."

"I was wrong but my mama told me."

"You couldn't understand it, why you felt alone."

"You were in it for real, she was in her phone."

"And you were just a pose, and don't we try to love love?"

"We give it all we got."

"You finally left the table, and what a simple thought."

"You're starving 'til you're not."

"They've messed up before, they'll mess up again."

"You move on."

"This is just a storm inside a teacup."

"Shelter here with me, my love."

"Thunder like a drum, this life will beat you up."

"This is just a temporary speed bump."

"But failure brings you freedom."

"I can bring you love."

"Don't you sweat it, baby."

"It's alright."

"You were dancing through the lightning strikes."

"My Lord Never made no one like you before."

𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙵𝙸𝙶𝚄𝚁𝙴

"When I found you, you were young, wayward, lost in the cold."

"Pulled up to you in the Jag', turned your rags into gold."

"The winding road leads to the chateau."

"You remind me of a younger me."

"I saw potential."

"I pay the check before it kisses the mahogany grain."

"They wanna see you rise, they don't want you to reign."

"I showed you all the tricks of the trade."

"All I asked for is your loyalty, my dear protégé."

"Leave it with me I protect the family."

"I saw a change in you."

"They don't make loyalty like they used to."

"Your thoughtless ambition sparked the ignition."

"Your thoughtless ambition sparked the ignition on foolish decisions which led to misguided visions, that to fulfill your dreams, you had to get rid of me."

"I was your father figure."

"We drank that brown liquor."

"You made a deal with this devil, turns out my dick's bigger."

"You want a fight, you found it."

"I got the place surrounded."

"You'll be sleeping with the fishes before you know you're drownin'."

"Whose portrait's on the mantel?"

"Who covered up your scandals?"

"Mistake my kindness for weakness and find your card cancelled."

"You pulled the wrong trigger."

"This empire belongs to me."

"You know, you remind me of a younger me. I saw potential."

𝙴𝙻𝙳𝙴𝚂𝚃 𝙳𝙰𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃𝙴𝚁

"Everybody's so punk on the internet."

"Everyone's unbothered 'til they're not."

"Every joke's just trolling and memes."

"Sad as it seems, apathy is hot."

"Everybody's cutthroat in the comments."

"Every single hot take is cold as ice."

"When you found me, I said I was busy. That was a lie."

"I have been afflicted by a terminal uniqueness."

"I've been dying just from trying to seem cool."

"You know, thе last time I laughed this hard was on the trampoline in somebody's backyard."

"I must've been about eight or nine."

"That was the night I fell off and broke my arm."

"Pretty soon, I learned cautious discretion."

"When your first crush crushes something kind."

"When I said I don't believe in marriage. That was a lie."

"Every eldest daughter was the first lamb to the slaughter."

"So we all dressed up as wolves and we looked fire."

"Things I said were dumb 'cause I thought that I'd never find that beautiful, beautiful life."

"Like when we were young."

"Every youngest child felt they were raised up in the wild."

"But now you're home."

"I'm never gonna let you down."

"I'm never gonna leave you out."

"I'm never gonna leave you now."

𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿

"It's glistening grass from September rain."

"Watching the game from your brother's Jeep."

"And it was not an invitation, but I should've kissed you anyway."

"And it was not convenient, no. But your girlfriend was away, and I should've kissed you anyway."

"Shiny wood floors underneath my feet Disco ball makes everything look cheap."

"Have fun."

"Wilted corsage dangles from my wrist over his shouldеr."

"I catch a glimpse and see you lookin' at me."

"But as the 50 Cеnt song played, I should've kissed you anyway."

"Would've been the best mistake. Should've kissed you anyway."

"Don't make it awkward in second period."

"Might piss your ex off, lately we've been good."

"Staying friends is safe, doesn't mean you should."

"When I left school, I lost track of you."

"Abigail called me with the bad news."

"Goodbye, and we'll never know why."

"It was not an invitation, but I flew home anyway."

"With so much left to say It was not convenient, no."

"I whispered at the grave."

"Should've kissed you anyway."

"My advice is to always ruin the friendship. Better that than regret it for all time."

"My advice is to always answer the question. Better that than to ask it all your life."

𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲

"I heard you call me 'Boring Barbie' when the coke's got you brave."

"You high-fived my ex and then you said you're glad he ghosted me."

"Wrote me a song sayin' it makes you sick to see my face."

"Some people might be offended, but it's actually sweet."

"All the time you've spent on me, it's honestly wild."

"All the effort you've put in, it's actually romantic."

"I really gotta hand it to you."

"No man has ever loved me like you do."

"Hadn't thought of you in a long time, but you keep sending me funny valentines."

"And I know you think it comes off vicious, but it's precious, adorable. Like a toy chihuahua barking at me from a tiny purse."

"That's how much it hurts."

"How many times has your boyfriend said 'Why are we always talkin' 'bout her?'"

"You think I'm tacky? Baby, stop talking dirty to me."

"It sounded nasty, but it feels like you're flirting with me."

"I mind my business, God's my witness that I don't provoke it."

"It's kind of making me wet."

𝚆𝙸$𝙷 𝙻𝙸$𝚃

"They want that yacht life, under chopper blades."

"They want those bright lights and Balenci' shades, and a fat ass with a baby face."

"They want it all."

"They want that complex female character."

"They should have what they want."

"They deserve what they want."

"I hope they get what they want."

"I just want you."

"Have a couple kids, got the whole block lookin' like you."

"We tell the world to leave us thе fuck alone, and they do, wow."

"Got me drеamin' 'bout a driveway with a basketball hoop."

"Boss up, settle down, got a wish list. I just want you."

"They want that freedom, living off the grid."

"They want those three dogs that they call their kids, and that good surf, no hypocrites."

"They want a contract with Real Madrid."

"They want that spring break that was fuckin' lit, and then that video taken off the internet."

"I made wishes on all of the stars."

"Please, God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot."

"I thought I had it right, once, twice, but I did not."

"You caught me off my guard."

"I hope I get what I want."

𝚆𝙾𝙾𝙳

"Daisy's bare naked, I was distraught. He loves me not, he loves me not."

"Penny's unlucky, I took him back, and then stepped on a crack, and the black cat laughed."

"I'll admit, I've been a little superstitious."

"Got my fingers crossed until you put your hand on mine."

"Seems to be that you and me, we make our own luck."

"A bad sign is all good I ain't gotta knock on wood."

"All of that bitchin', wishing on a falling star, never did me any good."

"I ain't got to knock on wood."

"It's you and me forever dancing in the dark."

"Girls, I don't need to catch the bouquet to know a hard rock is on the way."

"The curse on me was broken by your magic wand."

"It's understood I ain't got to knock on wood."

"Forgive me, it sounds cocky."

"It ain't hard to see His love was the key that opened my thighs."

𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙳!

"You thought that it would be okay, at first."

"The situation could be saved, of course."

"But they'd already picked out your grave and hearse."

"Beware the wrath of masked crusaders."

"Did you girlboss too close to the sun?"

"Did they catch you having far too much fun?"

"Come with me, when they see us, they'll run."

"Something wicked this way comes."

"Good thing I like my friends cancelled."

"I like 'em cloaked in Gucci and in scandal."

"I like my whiskey sour."

"Welcome to my underworld."

"Welcome to my underworld where it gets quite dark."

"At least you know exactly who your friends are."

"You know exactly who your friends are; they're the ones with matching scars."

"They're the ones with matching scars."

"It's easy to love you when you're popular."

"The optics click, everyone prospers."

"But one single drop, you're off the roster."

"Tone-deaf and hot, let's fuckin' off her"

"Did you make a joke only a man could?"

"Were you just too smug for your own good?"

"Did you bring a tiny violin to a knife fight?

"Baby, that all ends tonight."

They stood by me before my exoneration."

"They believed I was innocent."

"So I'm not here for judgment."

"But if you can't be good, then just be better at it."

"Everyone's got bodies in the attic."

"Everyone's got bodies in the attic, or took somebody's man."

"We'll take you by the hand and soon you'll learn the art of never getting caught."

"You know who we are, we're the ones with matching scars."

𝙷𝙾𝙽𝙴𝚈

"You can call me 'Honey' if you want."

Because I'm the one you want."

"When anyone called me 'sweetheart' It was passive-aggressive."

"And the bitch was tellin' me to back off."

"'Cause her man had looked at me wrong."

"If anyone called me 'Honey' It was standin' in the bathroom, white teeth."

"They were sayin' that skirt don't fit me."

"And I cried the whole way home

"But you touched my face."

"You can call me 'Honey' if you want because I'm the one you want."

"Gave it a different meaning 'cause you mean it when you talk."

"Honey, I'm home, we could play house."

"We can bed down, pick me up."

"Who's the baddest in the land?"

"What's the plan?"

"You could be my forever night stand Honey."

"When anyone called me 'sweetheart' It was passive-aggressive at the bar."

"Sweetie, it's yours, kicking in doors, take it to the floor, give me more."

"Buy the paint in the color of your eyes."

"Buy the paint in the color of your eyes and graffiti my whole damn life."

"When anyone called me late night, he was screwin' around with my mind."

"What are you wearin'?"

"Too high to remember in the morning."

"And when anyone called me 'lovely' they were findin' ways not to praise me."

"And when anyone called me 'lovely' they were findin' ways not to praise me, but you say it like you're in awe of me."

"And you stay until the morning, honey."

"But you can call me 'Honey' if you want."

𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝙰 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚆𝙶𝙸𝚁𝙻

"They made their money being pretty and witty."

"They gave her the keys to this city."

"They said she didn't do it legitly."

"I bought a ticket."

"She's dancing in her garters and fishnets."

"Fifty in the cast, zero missteps."

"Looking back, I guess it was kismet."

"I waited by the stage door."

"Packed in with the autograph hounds barking her name."

"Glowing like the end of a cigarette."

"Wow, she came out."

"You're living my drеam."

"Hеy, thank you for the lovely bouquet."

"You're sweeter than a peach."

"The more you play, the more that you pay."

"You're softer than a kitten."

"You don't know the life of a showgirl."

"She was a menace; the baby of the family."

"Her father whored around like all men did."

"Her mother took pills and played tennis."

"I'd sell my soul to have a taste of a magnificent life that's all mine."

"But that's not what showgirls get."

"They leave us for dead."

"I took her pearls of wisdom, hung them from my neck."

"I paid my dues with every bruise."

"I knew what to expect."

"Do you wanna take a skate on the ice inside my veins?"

"They ripped me off like false lashes and then threw me away."

"And all the headshots on the walls of the dance hall are of the bitches who wish I'd hurry up and die."

"But I'm immortal now, baby dolls."

"I couldn't if I tried."

"Thank you for an unforgettable night."

"We will see you next time."

"Give it up for the band and the dancers."

"That's our show."

"We love you so much."

"Goodnight."

[pitcrewz]

THE PITCREW OFFICE RECIEVES @r4cing NOTICE, ❛❛  is …  that  my  shirt  that  you’re  wearing ? ❜❜

timezones  be  damned.  at  least  was  something  that  often  crossed  her  head  when  her  body  decided  it  was  time  for  her  to  wake  up,  gracing  the  world  with  her  presence.  the  main  issue,  however,  came  in  the  fact  that  baku  didn't  exactly  followed  the  korean  or  japanese  timezones.  hance  it  was  the  middle  of  the  night,  with  no  traces  of  the  sun  to  be  born  yet.  leaving  the  bed  was  one  particular  strugle,  since  she  had  no  desire  to  wake  landon  in  the  process  (he  was  sleeping  so  peacefully,  there  was  no  need  to  disturb  him)  -  and  she  did  succeed  after  about  the  third  or  fourth  time,  picking  up  from  a  near  by  arm  chair  one  of  his  teamkit  tshirts  and  throwing  over  her  frame.

bare  feet  trailed  through  the  silent  hotel  room,  reaching  the  private  small  kitchen  while  softly  humming  a  tune  that  was  stuck  in  her  head  for  a  while  now.  {...}  in  about  fifteen  minutes,  she  had  a  couple  of  toasts  ready  alongside  a  large  cup  of  tea.  something  to  send  her  off  to  bed  again  in  record  time,  at  least  that  was  her  plan.  when  his  voice  rose  behind  her,  however,  she  startled  for  a  couple  of  seconds,  releasing  her  breath  once  meeting  sleepy  azure  eyes,  down  a  very  slightly  messy  hair  curls,  staring  at  her  figure  from  afar.  ❛❛  Don't  do  that  again,  please.  ❜❜  placing  a  toast  back  down  the  white  plate,  her  breathing  settled.  ❛❛  Uh,  yes?  It  was  the  closest  thing  I  could  find  in  the  dark  without  turning  on  the  lights.  Didn't  want  to  wake  you.  ❜❜

[pitcrewz]

THE PITCREW OFFICE RECIEVES @champviions' NOTICE, ❛❛ what  are  your  plans  for  the  day ,   &   how  cancel-able  are  they ? ❜❜

a  moth  drawn  to  the  flame,  although  taking  careful  steady  steps.  it  had  been  natural,  something  almost  expected  to  be  incoming,  that  one  can  feel  it  on  her  bones.  it  was  nearly  the  end  of  the  third  semester  of  her  first  year  living  in  italy,  embraced  by  the  heat  of  the  language  that  now  reged  her  daily  life.  work,  neighbour,  the  current  fiendships  she  could  count  on  her  fingers...  one  of  lillian's  first  acquaintences  had  been  her  front  door  neighbour,  about  her  mother's  age  or  so,  her  name  was  vittoria.  graceful  and  receptive,  had  often  shared  a  glass  of  wine  by  the  fireplace  during  the  cold  evenings  with  an  warm  chattering  about  ordinary  life  topics  -  and  some  gossip  from  here  and  there.  their  bound  was  cherished  by  the  english  woman,  so  much  that  she  trusted  vittoria  with  the  care  of  her  precious  furr  ball,  sapphire,  whenever  she  had  to  travel  around  the  country  for  work.  it  was  an  easy  routine,  adorned  with  vittoria's  comments  about  her  son  who  could  use  some  settling  down  for  her  sake  (comments  which  lilli  pretended  to  find  her  wine  glass  so  enchanting  for  a  couple  of  minutes)  -  until  one  day  two  months  prior,  when  she  returned  home  after  a  week  away,  and  went  to  return  her  cat  from  her  friends  care  to  be  recieved  by  her  so  "famous"  son.

vittoria had only forgotten to mention how that beloved son of hers was A FUCKING FORMULA ONE DRIVER of all things. the universe seemed to have a way of making her life a laughing stock.

and  wasn't  deacon  ricciardo  a  charming  one?  annoying  at  first,  but  a  goofy  ball  once  you  gave  him  a  chance.  lillian  didn't  know  if  he  knew  who  she  was,  but  if  he  did,  he  was  very  damn  good  at  hidding  it.  because  they  somehow  went  on  a  routine,  whenever  he  was  around  at  least;  it  first  started  with  a  cheap  excuse  of  needing  some  help  with  a  sponsorship  deal  contract  because  his  lawyer  was  on  vacation,  that  turned  onto  a  marathon  of  mad  men  and  suits  (because  he  wanted  to  understand  how  lawyers  worked,  or  at  least  the  fake  ones  from  TV),  to  attending  some  small  fairs  every  now  and  then,  with  a  few  stolen  kisses  and  some  makeout  session  that  was  yet  to  head  to  anything  else  entirely.  damn  her  to  disire  that,  and  damn  him  for  being  so  damn  patient.  it'd  be  easier  to  shut  him  down  if  he  wasn't.

the  inquire  came  about  past  nine  in  the  morning,  once  she  opened  her  door  while  fixing  her  hair  up  with  a  claw  clip  in  one  hand.  his  tall  figure  resting  against  the  doorframe  outside,  with  a  full  all  teeth  smile  that  was  pretty  much  like  the  sun.  god,  ...  deep  down  he  was  infuriating.  ❛❛  Good  morning  to  you  too,  sunshine.  ❜❜  her  brit  accent  lashing  out  on  her  tongue,  it  was  a  mutual  agreement  that  they  would  mix  the  languages,  just  to  keep  each  other  on  their  toes.  her  smile  softly  reached  his  eyes,  one  thing  he  menaged  to  do.  ❛❛  I  was  going  to  spend  my  lunch  with  the  leftovers  from  last  night  and  watch  whatever  gameshows  is  on  air  with  Sapphire  in  the  afternoon.  why?  ❜❜

[r4cing-deactivated20260215]

he  doesnt  know  why  its  awkward  .  this  is  his  sister  hes  sitting  next  to  !  …  not  some  strange  woman  hes  never  seen  before  .  this  is  the  woman  that  watched  him  grow  up  ,  that  played  with  him  outside  ,  pushed  him  on  the  swing  set  .  now  ,  he  sits  there  next  to  her  on  the  sofa  ,  chatter  all  around  them  .  when  its  a  situation  like  this  ,  landon  often  still  feels  like  a  little  kid  surrounded  by  adults  .  his  fingers  hold  onto  a  glass  ,  bourbon  inside  of  it  ,  making  the  pads  of  his  fingers  feel  damp  from  the  condensation  .  he  exhales  a  breath  ,  looks  around  .  family  members  he  long  forgot  the  name  of  (  or  hasnt  seen  in  fucking  years  )  that  all  talk  about  things  he  doesnt  even  care  about  .  twenty  -  seven  years  old  ,  and  he  feels  like  a  child  . 

❛  so  …  ❜  teeth  sink  into  the  inside  of  his  cheek  for  a  moment  ,  before  head  turns  to  look  at  @pitcrewz  .  ❛  hows  it  going  ?  i  sent  you  an  invite  to  the  last  race  i  had  ,  guess  you  didnt  see  it  in  time  .  ❜  he  knows  the  truth  :  she  didnt  want  to  come  .  but  it  doesnt  hurt  to  ask  ,  right  ? 

[pitcrewz]

so,  family  comittiment  was  something  she  would  purposely  run  away  from.  there  wasn't  much  for  her  there,  especially  regarding  appreciation,  something  she  had  learned  to  cease  the  desire  for  once  becoming  a  teenager.  it  didn't  trouble  her  as  much  as  it  did  back  then  either,  a  sweet  benefit  from  nearly  ten  years  of  attending  regularly  to  a  threapist.  however,  every  now  and  then,  lilliana  would  softly  bend  when  her  mother  or  her  grandfather  would  personally  make  an  invitantion  to  a  small,  one  night  only,  gathering  with  a  fair  amount  of  mcqueen  generations  over  one  roof  -  not  all  of  them  were  vultures,  but  she  did  feel  like  an  outsider  ever  since  getting  rid  of  her  father's  name.  there  was  still  a  quiet  chatter  regarding  that  matter,  how  she  had  ditched  the  name  and  walked  away.  a  courtesy  of  lennox  mcqueens  behavior  towards  his  first  born  child,  and  she  hope  it  still  stung  just  like  it  looked  like  every  time  she  would  correct  any  soul  by  attaching  her  mother's  maiden  name  to  hers  in  front  of  him.  if  only  could  she  twist  the  knife  a  little  further  inside  his  chest...

sitting  beside  her  baby  brother,  though  -  it  didn't  use  to  be  this  dull,  with  a  quietness  hanging  along  the  thin  air  of  the  open  room,  and  not  having  the  faintest  clue  of  what  to  properly  say.  lilliana  didn't  even  know  who  landon  was  anymore.  sadly  so,  it  wasn't  her  fault  nor  his.  and  yet...  gripping  the  long  wine  glass  with  delicate  digits,  blue  hues  fixed  on  the  dark  color  and  intoxicating  scent  of  the  italian  wine,  turned  to  the  shade  so  similar  to  hers.  no,  she  wasn't  surprised  about  the  question,  it  wouldn't  be  a  first.

ah,  the  race.  she  did  remember  when  the  e-mail  notification  regarding  paddock  passes  avaliable  from  nearly  three  weeks  ago  and  further  attachments.  the  reason  she  refused  to  lay  her  feet  inside  a  paddock  were  written  as  the  full  name  of  their  father.  she  would  rather  have  several  knives  stuck  on  her  back  than  pretending  to  be  the  dutiful  daughter  ever  again.  no  matter  how  much  she  adored  her  younger  brother,  that  wasn't  a  sacrifice  she  was  willing  to  make.  not  when  it  meant  deteorating  her  mental  health.  ❛❛ I  was  defending  my  analisys  regarding  woman's  rights  on  today's  society  in  Italy,  the  congress  went  on  for  a  week.  ❜❜  it  wasn't  a  lie,  but  even  if  there  wasn't  a  comittiment,  she  wouldn't  have  dared  to  attend.  ❛❛ ...  it  was  a  P2,  right?  seemes  like  a  good  result.  ❜❜  at  least  it  seemed  to  her,  after  all...  he  was  on  the  podium,  wasn't  he?

[ohisms]

𝑫𝑨𝑾𝑵 - 𝑭𝑳𝑨𝑽𝑶𝑹𝑬𝑫 .    ( words  for  those  whose  affections  belong  to  the  early  mornings.   some  nsfw implications  are  present .   )

❛  name  one  reason  we  should  get  out  of  this  bed .  ❜ ❛  i’m  gonna  go  shower …   you  wanna  join ?  ❜ ❛  please …   you  don’t  have  to  go .   i  don’t  want  you  to  go .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  never  felt  like  this  before .   is  that  crazy ?  ❜ ❛  what  are  your  plans  for  the  day ,   &   how  cancel-able  are  they ?  ❜ ❛  grab  me  something  to  drink  while  you’re  up ?  ❜ ❛  how  did  you  sleep ?  ❜ ❛  no ,   nooo  -  come  back  to  bed .  ❜ ❛  wanna  help  me  choose  something  to  wear ?  ❜ ❛  i  wish  the  sun  would  just  go  back  down .  ❜ ❛  don’t  pretend  like  you’re  asleep .  ❜ ❛  i  think  i  can  convince  you  to  stay …  ❜ ❛  i  can  feel  your  heart  beating .  ❜ ❛  shit ,   did  someone  just  knock  on  the  door ?  ❜ ❛  would  it  be  alright  if  i  borrowed  this ?   i  can’t  find  my  shirt .  ❜ ❛  it’s  not  morning  yet .  ❜ ❛  stop  hogging  all  the  blankets !  ❜ ❛  all  these  marks  -  i  look  like  a  crime  scene .  ❜ ❛  well ,   hello  there .   good  morning .  ❜ ❛  how  about  i  heat  up  the  leftovers  in  the  fridge ?  ❜ ❛  can  you  check  what  the  weather’s  like  today ?  ❜ ❛  just  one  more  kiss -  ❜ ❛  i  think  you  had  a  nightmare …   you  seemed  upset .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  find  my  [ clothing item ]  -  have  you  seen  [ it / them ] ?  ❜ ❛  i  think  i’ve  fallen  a  little  bit  more  in  love  with  you .  ❜ ❛  someone  needs  to  get  up   &   close  the  curtains .  ❜ ❛  hold  me  &  never  let  me  go .  ❜ ❛  is …  that  my  shirt  that  you’re  wearing ?  ❜ ❛  it’s  nice  that  your  voice  was  the  first  thing  i  heard  today .  ❜

[ohisms]

↪   𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑮𝑶𝑶𝑫 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝟒 .   (  a  collection  of  sentence  starters  originating  from  s4  of  the good place .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .  )

wow .  just  …  wow ,  it’s  perfect .

you  know ,  let’s  keep  this  moving .

reading  lights !  i  love  reading  lights .  they  are  …  great  for  reading .

it  wasn’t  even  as  bad  as  i  thought .

who  cares  if  he  doesn’t  remember  me ?

wait ,  i  need  to  say  something .

you  NEEDED  to  say  that ?

i  believe  that  we’re  destined  to  succeed .

with  this  team ,  there’s  no  problem  we  can’t  solve .

there’s  no  problem  we  can’t  create .

i  think  you  look  great .

i  know  this  can  be  a  little  overwhelming ,  but  you’ll  get  used  to  it .

okay ,  forget  about  all  of  that  stuff .

none  of  this  is  real .

clearly  i  was  in  some  kind  of  horrible  accident .

i’m  just  gonna  wander  around  until  i  wake  up  or  die .

[ name ] ,  look  what  my  brain  did !

it’s  not  real ,  &  neither  are  you !

i  feel  like  you’re  trying  to  get  under  my  skin .

i .  will .  destroy  you .

we  can’t  wait  any  longer .

stupid  ethical ,  reasonable  argument .

are  you  still  muttering ?

the  human  mind  is  truly  incredible .

you  don’t  need  to  justify  it .  again ,  i  do  it  all  the  time .

his  eyes  were  really  mean .

i  was  scared  [ name ]  was  trying  to  slide  into  your  DM’s .

i  don’t  like  being  scared ,  it’s  scary !

where’s  your  shirt ??

when  you  get  back  here ,  you  won’t  be  anything .

you  will  do  nothing  of  the  sort ,  mon  ami .

that  wasn’t  my  fault ,  i  was  texting .

that  is  so  embarrassing  for  you .

are  you  listening  to  me ?

guys  like  this  believe  the  world  revolve  around  them .

maybe ,  as  a  bonus  …  he  cries  like  a  stupid  little  baby .

hey  .  ..  hey ,  can  i  ask  you  something ?

you  have  no  control  over  your  own  impulses .

give  her  some  space .

sure .  i’m  pretty  interesting .

look ,  i’ve  had  my  share  of  disappointments .

okay ,  well .  back  to  the  drawing  board .

we  need  to  bust  him  open  like  a  pinata .

it’s  our  only  move ,  &  we’re  doing  it  tomorrow .

this  chaos  is  clearly  all  about  me .

this  is  the  universe  telling  me  we  don’t  belong  here .

walk  me  through  this ,  i’m  not  sure  i  follow .

figure  it  out  -  get  back  to  me ,  okay ?

i’m  gonna  go  punch  a  wall  with  my  head .

it’s  possible  we  need  a  new  team  leader .

think  about  what  you’re  saying ,  here .

go  ahead ,  speak  your  mind .

i  didn’t  ask  for  this !

[ name ]  can  be  in  charge ,  since  she’s  so  smart .

listen ,   all  we  need  is  a  bouncy  house ,  some  ninja  stars  &  a  bunch  of  ambulances .

did  you  get  it  all  out  of  your  system ?

you  don’t  just  get  to  quit  this ,  [ name ] .

the  things  that  are  happening  here  are  above  my  paygrade .

i’m  not  meant  for  this !   i’m  not  the  freakin’  savior  of  the  universe !

everything  i  do  blows  up  in  my  face .

this  conversation  must  remain  confidential .

[ name ] ,  um .  please  just  let  me  talk .

i  asked  you  to  give  me  some  space .

being  with  you  is  fun  but  it’s  not  always  easy .

why  don’t  we  just  take  a  break ?

you  tricky  devil !  very  clever .

why  did  i  come  up  with  this  idea ?   this  is  gonna  hurt  real  bad .

everyone  has  people  that  they’re  cosmically  bound  to .

i  thought  it  was  prudent  to  let  you  know .

oh  boy !  i’m  getting  a  stomachache .

to  be  fair ,  i  only  think  that  cause  it’s  true  &  i’m  right .

if  none  of  this  is  real ,  then  it  really  shouldn’t  matter .

what ?  none  of  this  is  real .  it  doesn’t  matter .

i  mean ,  what  do  you  have  to  lose ?

it’s  arguable  that  you  made  an  even  bigger  sacrifice .

come  on ,  bud ,  i  know  you’re  down  but  you  can’t  leave  me  hanging .

must  be  nice ,  [ name ] .

i  have  a  ton  of  experience  making  ex-boyfriend’s  lives  miserable .

judge  me  if  you  want ,  i  get  results .

i  just  feel  like  i  need  this .

you’re  allowed  to  feel  a  little  angry .

we  have  a  lot  of  work  to  do .

anyone  interested  in  a  status  report ?

you’ll  have  to  trust  me ,  this  is  a  huge  step  in  the  right  direction .

it’s  been  a  tough  couple  weeks .

your  time  begins  NOW .

sorry ,  i  was  just  trying  to  figure  out  where  to  start .

let’s  clear  our  brain  …  watch  a  movie ?

whoever  you  are ,  show  yourself .

what  do  you  want ,  creep ?

[ name ]  i  need  to  speak  with  you  alone .

sit  there  quietly  until  we  sort  all  this  out .

[ name ] ,  you  have  to  believe  me .

i’m  gonna  make  [ name ]  think  i  don’t  trust  you .

i  like  the  way  you  think ,  [ name ] .

if  you’re  a  devil ,  how  come  you’re  not  wearing  prada ?

what  are  you  gonna  use  it  for ?

if  you  ever  wanna  talk ,  just  know  i’m  here  for  you ,  girl .

i  just  feel  like  i  made  the  world  a  little  bit  worse .

starting  over  sounds  exhausting .

we  have  to  start  over .

there’s  literally  nothing  i  can  say  that  will  make  you  realize  i’m  really  me .

i  wish  i  were  saying  this  in  difference  circumstances ,  but  …  keep  it  sleazy .

sometimes  the  only  thing  a  bully  understands  is  a  punch  in  the  mouth .

sorry ,  i  should’ve  told  you  -  i  just  decided  to  stay  home .

so ,  what’s  my  first  clue ?

oh  no  …  oh ,  that’s  not  good .

this  part  of  your  plan  seems  risky .

this  wasn’t  part  of  the  plan .

you  made  things  difficult  in  a  new  way ,  but  i  can  make  it  work .

i’m  just  not  a  new - experience  kind  of  guy .

my  comfort  zone  is  the  size  of  …  that  chair .

do  you  trust  me ,  [ name ] ?

you  had  this  the  whole  time ?

you  told  me  i  should  wait ,  so  i  did .

i’m  not  scared  of  you .  because  i’ve  gone  there ,  [ name ] .

i  can’t  believe  i  almost  missed  all  this .

hey ,  you decided  to  come  after  all !

you  got  through  it .  i  almost  ruined  it  a  hundred  times .

when  i  said  ‘ throw  a  party ’  i  didn’t  mean  a  pity  party !

i’ve  had  to  scrape  &  claw  my  way  through  life .

you  never  learned  to  think  on  your  feet !

i  want  to  learn  how  to  do  something  meaningful .

that  must’ve  been  hard  for  you  …  to  go  back  there .

i  don’t  like  to  think  about  who  i  used  to  be .

almost  everything  i  do  i  do  without  thinking  or  worrying  what  will  happen .

let’s  dance ,  baby .

ugh !  can  you  just  skip  to  the  end ?

just  tell  me  how  they  screwed  up ,  &  put  me  out  of  my  misery .

this  feels  like  some  sort  of  goodbye .

how  was  that ?  did  i  cheer  everyone  up ?

face it ,  [ name ] ,  you  lost .

people  improve  when  they  get  external  love  &  support .

you’ve  already  given  me  so  much .

earth  is  cancelled .

it’s  not  two  of  us ,  it’s  all  of  us .

step  one ,  get  a  plan  …  step  two ,  do  the  plan .

if  we’re  gonna  pull  this  off ,  we  need  [ name ]  back .

you  think  that’ll  go  well ?

everything  always  has  to  be  your  way !

how  dare  you  bring  that  up  again ?

every  problem  has  an  answer .

not  that  old  story ,  it’s  so  embarrassing -

we  have  to  break  up .

why  are  we  together ?

where  i’m  from ,  most  things  blow  up  eventually .

by  the  way ,  i  wasn’t  cheating  before  …  or  eavesdropping  just  now .

this  has  been  fun ,  as  always .

there’s  a  real  possibility  that  i’m  in  love  with  you .

if  soulmates  do  exist ,  they’re  found .  not  made .

turns  out  life  isn’t  a  puzzle  that  can  just  be  solved  one  time  &  it’s  done .

can  you  give  me  a  second ?

i  don’t  know  if  i’ll  see  you  again ,  or  …  what  i’ll  remember  if  i  do .

the  words  are  nice ,  but  the  tone  is  scary ?

i  know  you .  &  i  love  you .

eventually  we’re  gonna  be  together  forever .

it’s  better  we  just  rip  the  band-aid  off .

forgive  me  if  i’m  a  little  skeptical .

i  had  a  lot  of  time  to  think .

if  things  are  going  to  change ,  i  have  to  change  along  with  them .

i’m  an  artist ,  which  means  …  it’s  my  job  to  be  scared .

oh  no ,  i  knew  it .  you  hate  me  now .

you  essentially  had  to  raise  yourself .

okay ,  so  …  you  still  love  me ?

yeah ,  we’re  very  different ,  but  we  already  knew  that !

there’s  no  one  else  i  wanna  be  with .

what  do  you  want  from  me ?!

i  know  you’re  upset ,  you  have  a  tell .

i  don’t  see  any  version  of  eternity  where  you  don’t  get  bored  of  me .

this  is  not  working ,  you’re  bad  at  this .

wow ,  same  old  [ name ] .

first  of  all ,  you  know  what  …  uh ,  shut  up !

honestly ,  [ name ] ,  i  don’t  know  what’s  to  become  of  you .

i’m  sorry  i  said  that ,  before .

she  knows  you  &  loves  you ,  &  that’s  all  that  matters .

against  all  odds ,  i  know  what  you  mean .

i’m  sorry  that  i  kicked  you  out .

it  wasn’t  about  you .

i’m  not  gonna  let  myself  be  degraded  by  you  again .

i  took  you  for  granted ,  &  that  was  wrong .

i  can’t  have  any  of  your  dingleberry  stink  on  me .

so ,  uh .  i  was  being  stupid .

i  thought  i  got  rid  of  you .

my ,  my ,  my  …  we’ve  got  some  history ,  don’t  we ?

it’s  real  this  time ,  i  promise .

might  as  well  do  some  traveling .

[ name ] ,  i  have  been  training  for  this  day  my  entire  life .

what  time  is  it ?

i  made  dinner !

real  talk ,  it  didn’t  go  great .

i  could  never  forget  you .

remembering  moments  with  you  is  the  same  as  living  with  them .

can  you  just  remember  the  happy  times  &  forget  the  bad  stuff ?

you  are  my  role  model .

you  have  a  rockin’  bod .

don’t  sell  yourself  short ,  [ name ] .

[ name ] ,  i’m  gonna  miss  you .

i  don’t  want  to  leave  you ,  but  i’m  …  ready  to  leave .

i  was  alone  my  whole  life .  i  told  myself  i  liked  it  that  way ,  but  i  don’t .

i  like  being  with  you .

meet  you  at  the  restaurant ?

i  owe  it  to  you  to  let  you  go .

i  was  never  good  at   being  sad .

none  of  this  is  bad .

i  need  you  to  do  me  one  last  favor .

say  goodbye  to  me  now ,  &  leave  before  i  wake  up .

your  system’s  working  perfectly .

thank  you  so  much ,  [ name ] .

care  to  join  me  for  a  bit ?

the  true  joy  is  in  the  mystery .

do  you  mind  if  i  stay  here  until  you’re  gone ?

[pitcrewz]

gen tags.

[pitcrewz]

okay, is this thing on? ~says in britney spears vc