This is not an attack. But I have something to say about this and i haven't said much yet so buckle tf up.
Ive tried to help, again and again and you've shot me down and tore me to shreds for trying. I have stayed and I have listened. I have let you vent to me, i have been there to comfort you, talk you out of suicide, tried to help you deal with your fucked home life and all you do is..fucking hurt me.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO KID? I have tried everything to help you, I've tried fucking everything and still it seems like i am somehow less than a person to you. I have tried. I CONTINUE TO FUCKING TRY.
And i desperately want to believe that you mean what you say, that you want to change this time, but how can i believe you when you lied directly to my face while calling me your family.
Family is a hard topic for me, kid, a fucked one. I know that your home life is rough but i was in the same fucking boat. I was a prisoner, wasn't even allowed to go outside. I've had some rough encounters and met some shitty people. And still, I stayed, knowing damn well that my brain was telling me you were trouble. I gave you the benefit of the fucking doubt, again and again. I trusted you. and you hurt me, just like the rest of my so called family.
So why should i stick around, and dont just say "you shouldn't". No, if you want me in your fucking life give me one good reason to believe you because holy fuck kid, you've kinda fucked up the trust i had in you.
And yet i still care. I still love you like a part of my family because I DO NOT TRUST EASY. i dont, and this is why. Like i fucking said, i need a break. I need a minute, i need to take a step back.
You can take this ask and this post however you wish, you can be a fucking asshole to me again if that's what you want, but why don't you take a step back too.
I have been on the verge of death and ive motherfucking shaken hands with the devil. You are fucking with the wrong person and as much as I still fucking care about you, if anything else arises, i will use what I've got.
All you've done is light fires, spread pain and suffering. Now fucking stand in the ashes and realize that you have very few people left that will go to bat for you. Watch us burn, kid, if you so please, but remember that fire is no way to live especially when the line dividing peace and chaos is too thin for you to see.
If you continue living this way, you will have nobody, kid, and that's not a great way to live. But i tried to tell you this, and now you're at the stage where you want to be redeemed, you want to fix it.
You should've listened to me. I'm truly sorry that this was the path you chose, kid. I hope you find your peace.
