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𝘾𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙄𝙑𝙊𝙍𝙀, 𝘼𝙉𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙇, 𝙄 𝘼𝙈 𝘼 𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙉𝙄𝘽𝘼𝙇
requests | open inbox | open wips | none
𝜗ϱ 𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙆 -> afrolatina(🇵🇷), any pronouns, hazbin hotel and helluva boss blog. artist, pansexual, writer, 20. obsessed with vox, asmodeus, striker, and mammon ₊˚ ੭
𝜗ϱLikes and follows come from @cyberneticfrk₊˚ ੭
𝜗ϱ RULES 𖤐 TAGS 𖤐 M.LIST 𖤐 TAGLIST ₊˚ ੭
𝙄 𝙀𝘼𝙏 𝘽𝙊𝙔𝙎 𝙐𝙋, 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘽𝙀𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙍𝙐𝙉
I don’t support Vivienne Medrano in any way. Pirate the shows, buy merch made by independent artists.
Being Vark's feeder and Vox takes a liking towards you
Warnings: Blood - Death - HH Norms - GN.Reader - gammar mistakes -
You dont really remember how you got the position as The Feeder of Vox sharks. And honestly ? You did not care.
You used to work with animals back in your living days, so what if the animals from hell were different from the ones above and a bit more agressive ? You still prefered them over other sinners and demons alike.
Plus, this was better work than...whatever other things went down with the Vs.
And you had your favorite.
"Vark! time to eat" you called from avobe the water of his big tank. Behind you, a couple of sinners tied up, begging with their eyes to be spared. But hey, you were not a hero, and hell was hell.
You never felt guilt after giving Vark his food, He would look rather happy and make your dead heart beat up in awae.
Said sharks dorsal fin appear and you tossed two sinners into the water without a care, only listening to Vark biting and seeing the blood come up.
You loved Vark. He was a perfect specimen. Even if you were scared of him at first (who would not?), you used to keep your distance from the water. Only getting close enough to leave the sinner and run back away before Vark would feed.
But time passed, you were not sure how much. You never asked if he had any other feeder before, maybe he did...and said feeder became food too.
You respected him. The water was his home, his territory, and you were only a guest...maybe less than that. It was a slow process for both. Vark not feeling like you were going to get in his dam home, and you respecting his space. Did you baby talk him? Only in your head at first. Then, when you were assigned to clean the outside of the tank and saw not only Vark but other sharks too, you could not help yourself and talk out loud about them, of how beautiful and also scary beings they were. How their red neon lights made the tank look better.
And one day? when said task was assigned again, you found yourself face to face with Vark. Even if a tall and tight glass separated both of you, you still felt the power he radiated.
And between, fear, and exciment you waved at him, and Vark seemed to recognize you as his feeder. Because in response his big red lend did a blink at you.
And so, Vark would come up earlier than usual, to greet you with his dorsal fin, sometimes he would make waves towards you. Other times he would splash doing a show off moment.
You got a umbrella later, because being soaked for the rest of the day was not an option.
You even found a resemblence between him and his owner, Vox. Even if the overlord never gave you a second look, you have seen Vox baby talk Vark and honestly? It was cute to see two powerful beings being cute with each other.
A splash of water broke your thoughts, Vark was close again. He have been coming closer the last days, sometimes you felt like these trainers from above. The big scary shark was also a big puppy, and liked to be touched...at least from you. And liked to beg for more food too.
"Sorry big boy, not extra food today" You said softly caressing his skin, your hand soon getting wet. Another splash came and you just laughted "I know, i know....but i was in deep trouble last time..."
A few bubbles came up, as if he was saying "Sorry" but you said nothing, just gave him some more pets and prepared to leave. You still had tasks around.
"See you tomorrow big boy!!" You saluted, getting something like a roar? from him.
--------
Vox liked to keep everything he own in check, That included Vark and his other sharks. Truth to be told, it was a pain to find someone who could do the basic task in feeding them. Every idiot would try and for some reason lean into the water ? And Vark was a territorial and possessive bastard (like him), of course no one came up alive.
But then, you happen. Out of nowhere, he was not sure who or how you got the task, but he could not complain. You were good, you respected his beloved pet and even liked it.
You knew boundaries and that was a first in hell.
And when he saw the developen between him and you?
First, Vox was jealous. Vark was his. Why was his beast of a shark giving you his soft side? And of course he rant about it to Vark who only ignored him till Vox gave up and said "Ok maybe they are not that bad"
It was scary how much Vox knew about you, and how he did his best to try and keep you only in his building.
Possessive bastard he was.
He would watch you over the various cameras, and well, learn. Would fall on his chair when you and Vark bonded. Would want (and later do it) to crush whatever sinner would come towards you with ill motives.
And try to keep you in late, because he liked to know you were around.
Even if the time you two crossed paths could be counted with one hand, Vox kept these in his memory and re played them.
Was he a hopeless and idiotic sinner with a crush? Yes. Did he care? No.
If Vark had claimed you as his, then by default you were also his.
---------------------
Another day came, you were pushing the cart with three bodys (one more since you were able to sneak it for Vark).
"Vark" you called and soon the big shark was at the top of the water. "Is time to eat! and guess what" you said in a low tone "i got you one more" this made Vark send waves towards you making you laught.
You throw the first sinner, being it catch middle air by Vark who splashed water once his full body went into the tank, but you were ready, opening the umbrella.
Then the second came, this time you did a show of dancing with the sinner till you were at the limit of the tank and dropped him.
Vark (who was swiming in circles below you while you danced) ate the sinner, his tail moving quicker, knowing todays there was an extra one.
Just as you turned to get the last one, you were suprised when a punch landed on your face. You fell out of suprise, and looked up to see the dam sinner who was supposed to be food, be on their feet.
Well fuck, someone did not tie up this one.
You quickly went to your feet once again, only for the sinner to get you back on the floor, and start to choke you.
"Fuck, i wont die as fish food, you parasite" the sinner said pressing his finger deeper.
You tried to get free, sensing Vark below you getting agitated.
"No- if you were dying again, then you were doing it on your own terms.
---------
Vox never run....only when a new about Alastor was said but that was case apart.
This ?
THIS WAS LIFE OR DEATH!!
He teleported from screen to screen, fuck the security he had, it prevented anyone with the ability to appear from air in any room.
He was enjoying watching you feed Vark, and enven got a laught from the little show you gave when dancing.
And then, things went south.
As much as he wanted to believe Vark would know you, he also knew that...Vark was his shark. A shark, who had ate others for less. So if you just happen to fall into the tank, there was not a full chance of you getting out alive.
Just as the door opened Vox saw it, his eyes and yours met for maybe the first time, and if Vox was not close to lose his mind, he would have swear he felt a dam spark between you both.
------------
Just before making eye contact with your Boss for the first time, and getting a sparky feeling, you gave a smile and pushed yourself and the dam sinner into the tank.
Oh, Vark would enjoy another food, right?
Now this sinner was persistent, they kept on chocking you, now more desesperated when they realized where they were. And when they tried to get back up ? You were the one keeping them down now, no way, no fucking way.
From the corner of your eye you saw a big shadow coming at fast speed, and with little force left, you pushed the sinner away to see in full display how Vark swimed past you and tore apart the sinner.
It was....a sight to be seen. There was nothing left, only a bit of blood that seemed to combine with the water itself, and be around Vark like it belonged to him.
Your consciousness started to drift away, as you saw Vark coming towards you, a small smile on your face. Because going being Vark's food was better than dying in a random sinners hand.
---------------
Vox waited, oh fuck he waited for something. For what? he was not sure. He saw the blood, and felt his non heart stop, did....did Vark.
But soon Vark's body showed up, and on top of him, you. Passed out but alive, and Vark carring you towards Vox like nothing.
Vox took you from him, getting a few sounds from Vark that were his way on making worried sounds.
Vox checked your vitals, you were still here.
Just not fucking breathing.
And so, Vox did what he expected no one would see. He kissed you, trying to get you to wake up and vomit the dam water, once, twice. He felt Vark below swiming like he was in distress.
And the third did the charm, you blinked, pushing him away and getting water out from you. Your chest hurt and so did your head, plus what was going on? Did not Vark...
Wait, and who kissed you?
"Yeah let it out, you almost died idiot" You hear a voice besides you and turned to see a blushing Vox.
Wait-
DID YOUR BOSS SAVE YOU ?
BY KISSING YOU ?
Well, it was not a kiss per se but-
Before you could pass out again, Vark rose up, splashing both with water. Vox teleported away so only you ended soaked...but Vark got closer so you would give him a pet, and like...he wanted to check on you.
"You....you saved me?" you asked suprised getting some waves back from Vark.
"Well, not only him" A pissed and still blushing Vox said being outside a random device now that Vark stopped splashing.
"Oh- yes, sorry Sir" You were going to get up and apologize properly but a sound from Vark tould you to stay up.
"Save it. It was....not your fault. The ones who prepare the dam sinners did a poor job" Vox responded looking away
"Uh....still thanks for getting me back"
Vox said nothing for a few moments "Yeah well, Vark likes you, so maybe you are not much of a waste of air" He said not wanting you to see just how much effect you had on him. Or the fact that he had kissed you...somehow, not a kiss. Not the kiss he wanted to give but close enough.
"We will need two peopel now in here" Vox said taking a seat besides you and watching Vark be....calm.
"Sir! i can handle myself, and Vark seems rather territorial and-"
"I know that!, I will be here while you feed him from now on"
You wanted to protest but honestly? what could you say? This was Vox from the Vs and your Boss.
"Oh...yeah, i doubt he will have a problem with it" You responded looking at the big shark who now felt like you were safe enough besides his owner and left to swim around.
"....You two seem close" Vox said cuting the silence.
"I like to think we are" you said back with a gentle smile, one that made Vox look away.
"You were lucky he did not eat you"
"I know"
"And it was stupid to fall into the tank with that sinner"
"Uh yes, but i would prefer to die by Vark than be killed by that dam sinner"
Vox gave you a look that screamed, you are crazy, but said nothing only smirked.
"I agree, dying by Vark's bite is way fancier than in the dirty hands of a low life"
You nodded, not really sure where the conversation would go from now on, or why was Vox here in the first place.
He was not watching you feed Vark....right?
"Get up, lets get you dry, you can clean his tank so he will not get too agitated" Vox said getting up and offering a hand.
"But- i cleaned it yesterday?"
Satan, could you be more stupid? Vox wanted you to be close to him and Vark just in case.
"Well, it got dirty again" was all he said before pulling you up to walk besides him.
"Wait!" You stopped and went near the tank again. "Vark! im fine, i will be back soon" you shouted getting waves back again. Then you ran back to Vox who did record that.
"Ready to go Boss"
"Vox, just Vox is fine"
---------
And what if Vark did call you his mother figure, and his owner his father figure ? Well, that was his shark sense and way to ship both of you.
birds of a feather | Adam x Reader
part 1/5
pairing. Adam x fem!angel!Reader
plot. you and Adam are best friends. Birds of a feather, despite being opposites. A bond so strong that you two never considered having sex with each other. That's until, while joking about you both's disastrous love life, you make a bet. If none of you can't keep a relationship until the next century, you and Adam will fuck. Just one night, for fun, to prove that not even sex could get in the way of your friendship. Right?
prompts. best friends to lovers, enemies to lovers (you hate each other at first), Adam has a heart, Adam being Adam, opposites attract, foul language, mentions of sex, eventual smut, idiots in love, fluff, romantic comedy
word count. 2k words
«Adam, the First Man? Oh, I listen to his albums when I can! I’m not that much of a fan but he’s really talented!»
«Adam? You mean THE Adam? I just can’t wait for the new album, so I can buy the CD, the vinyl, the VIP package, the t-shirts, everything! I’m his biggest fan and oh sweet angels he’s hot»
«Adam? The Man from the Garden?! Fuck that guy, he’s the biggest asshole in Heaven! We banged and when I woke up the next morning he was already gone and he never called me back! A total jerk! Sex was good tho and his dick was soooo bi-»
«He’s so overrated»
«Adam?»
You look at the camera, not too far away from your face. Your white feathers ruffle and your halo flickers; you don’t like being in front of cameras. You accepted only cause you didn’t hear the question, or understand that those were journalists in the first place. So now you just stand there, with the interviewer encouraging you to answer the question by gently shaking the microphone near your mouth.
«What are your thoughts on Adam?» that was the question asked before.
You answer.
«I assume you’re talking about Adam the First Man. Well…» you say, and the journalists wait, hopeful.
You clear your throat and look right through the camera «Adam is a douchebag. Self-absorbed, egomaniac, a total misogynist. Did you ever hear him talk about women? Terrible. He has the humor of a 12 year old, drinks more sugary drinks than water, zero control over his language, which is inappropriate by the way. Ugh, he can't go more than a minute without swearing—»
The journalists are looking at you wide-eyed, completely shocked. You look calm, as if you just said something casual. And then, you shrug.
«But…he’s my best friend».
Suddenly, something zips between you and the journalists, who gasped at the statement and were already shoving the mic down your throat.
Adam stops abruptly, towering over you as you cross your arms.
«How many times did I tell you to not launch yourself towards me at this speed?» you ask him, waving a hand to disperse the cloud of dust in your face.
«Tch! I fly here to the rescue and this is the thanks I get, (Y/N)?» Adam scoffs, crossing his arms and raising a brow.
He’s completely ignoring the journalists who are now gathered all around him, shouting him questions.
«I can’t wait till your album is out, I can’t take this promo anymore» you say, rolling your eyes.
The sound of the interviewers talking is muffled as Adam and you talk between yourselves. The First Man has his arms crossed, a smug look on his mask as he’s bent down to talk to you.
«I love it, actually. This album is gonna get me so much pussy. But now I’m gonna screw these fuckers off. And then you’ll offer me a milkshake» Adam says, booping your nose playfully. You chuckle, and push away his hand not before flipping him off.
Adam turns around and crosses his arms, the crowd of reporters just doubled.
«Listen, you’ve bothered us enou-» Adam starts, but he’s soon interrupted by a river of questions.
What’s the album about?! How many songs?! What’s the title? Is it a concept album like the last one?
«Oh, well» Adam giggles, a grin spreading across his led mask «if you wanna talk about the album so bad…»
So Adam stays there, answering all the questions about his album happily. Mostly, he likes to answer questions about himself. Even ones no one asked.
«My body count? Oh, too personal…I lost it, actually!» he giggles, satisfied.
«Nobody asked you that, Adam» you comment harshly. While he answered the questions, you flew onto his shoulder and just sat there, like an eagle, your wings spread but a bored look on your face. After an hour, you ended up sprawled on his shoulders, your cheek resting against one of his horns.
By the way no, the reporters didn’t ask him about his body count, but they still took notes eagerly.
After an astounding two hours of answering questions about himself, the journalists leave, and you wake up. You fell asleep with your arms hugged around Adam’s horns and your head against his cheek. Might as well just get comfortable.
«Wake up bitch, we gotta go get our ribs!» Adam says, shaking his shoulders to wake you up.
«Okay, give me a sec…by the way how many times did they ask if we’re an item?» you groan, flying down his shoulder.
«7 times. I count them. We gotta take shots next time» he says, holding you by the hips as you get down «by the way we also gotta get the milkshake you owe me»
«Nuh uh» you say as you let Adam put his arm around your shoulders «I waited for you for one hour at least»
«You fell asle-»
«I don’t give a shit. You pay» you snuggle by his side as you walk down the busy heaven street.
«Didn’t you bitches want equality? Bold of you to call yourself a feminist!»
«Oh sorry Mr. Feminism who calls women bitches»
The banter goes on all the way to the restaurant where you decided to get ribs. Adam ended up paying for everything.
You and Adam. Adam and you. You hated the fuck out of each other at first.
Every time you stumbled upon each other in Heaven Central all you did was throw each other insults, almost to the point of growling. Because despite your being a way lower grade than him, you were the only one who didn’t take shit from Adam.
You were a Heaven-born. Your family served the Seraphims for generations, and you took on the role after your father retired. Mainly, you assisted Sera during meetings, helping her to keep everything organized. Adam called you a secretary the second time he met you. Let’s just say you were pissed.
You and Adam used to cross paths only during meetings between the Seraphims and the Archangels, and you despised him the second he started speaking. How did this idiot even get in Heaven in the first place? You get the whole “being the First Man” thing but having him sit between the higher angels was a bit too much for your taste. Everything that came out of his mouth was so out of pocket, so against your principles, that you couldn’t help but roll your eyes or frown. And it happened every time you entered the room to bring the Seraphims their paperwork.
One time, you risked your job. It was the first time he ever talked to you. As you walked behind him to exit the room, he dog-whistled.
«Hey babe, bring me a milkshake, won’t ya?»
You turned around, confused.
«Excuse me?» you asked, but you heard him perfectly. Not even the Speaker of God ever asked you to bring her a drink like a waitress.
«Uh, are you deaf? I said: bring-me-a-milkshake. Strawberry flavoured please, extra sugar, ask to stir it well. If you go to the one behind the building tell the cashier to make you the Adam special. Fucked her so good last week that she should grant me a decade of free shakes!».
While all the Seraphims and Archangels completely ignored what he said, you stood there, frozen and shocked. You looked around and you just saw a couple of angels rolling their eyes at him. Adam just kept looking at his phone non-chalantly, swinging left and right on his spinning chair.
«Who do you think I am, a butler?» you inquired, shooting him a death stare.
«Aren’t you?»
«Oh no, don’t you dare-»
As you started pacing towards him with a raised finger, Sera stood up, putting herself between you and Adam.
«(Y/N), please don’t mind him» she said, trying to calm you down.
«What’s her fucking problem?! Does she know I’m the First Man or is she menstruating?» Adam exclaimed, not bothering to get up from his seat but just backing off a bit.
«Go take it yourself! Plus, a strawberry milkshake? You’re supposed to be as old as the Earth but you look fucking five! » you really lost your patience.
«Sera!» Adam snapped, standing up and slamming his hands against the desk «did you hear?! Just fire this whore already!»
«WHORE?! You fucking braindead ass-»
Suddenly, light erupted in the room. Sera stood between you and the First Man with her arms extended, eyes popping up everywhere in her true angelic form, her face angered.
«ENOUGH!» she ordered, making both you and Adam squirm «Adam, you can’t talk to the Seraphim assistant like that! And you, (Y/N), take a free day and go home».
«But Sera-» you tried to object.
«I said. Enough» Sera remarked, her face serious «Just go home, (Y/N)».
You looked at Adam from behind her shoulder, he was raising a middle finger at you. You scoffed, rolled you eyes and left the room in a hurry. You could hear Adam burst out laughing behind your back as the golden door of the meeting room closed.
«Ah! Well done Sera. What was her problem? You should consider-»
«Adam! Speak to (Y/N) like that one more time and-»
As the door closed, you couldn’t hear anything more. You went home frustrated, almost to the point of crying. That jerk made you lose your shit at work. In all these years, nothing like that ever happened. You were beyond pissed and spent the day in your apartment watching TV series and growling every time a spot about Adam’s upcoming music tour came out. You hated his guts, you didn’t care that he was the First Man, a superior or an Archangel. It didn’t change the fact that he was an asshole who deserved being screamed at.
From that day, every time Adam participated in Seraphims meetings, you both would either avoid gazing at each other or shoot the nastiest faces. If looks could burn you would both be on fire. And this applied only when others were around. If you and Adam crossed paths alone, names would start flying around.
«’sup bitch, did your period stop?» he would say with a shit-eating grin.
«Hey asshole, it didn’t stop, but you’ll keep me company when I’ll chop your dick off».
This went on for year, approximately two centuries. Just constant bantering, name calling, growling, pure hatred. You never butted heads so much with someone in your entire life. Until that night at the movies.
Let’s just say that your love life wasn’t great. At all. Heaven has always been hyped as a place were assholes weren’t admitted. Well, either you are the magnet attracting them and keeping them at bay from other winners, or that’s just a blatant lie. Adam aside, who was an exception as you were pretty sure he could be considered a nepo baby, you met a fair share of idiots through your lifetime in Heaven. And they were all your exes.
You either had a type or insane unluck.
Despite your impressive streak of failed relationships, you still have enough faith in yourself to believe the second option. At first all these guys present themselves as charming, loving, caring…and bam. You’ve been either cheated on, neglected or straight up dumped. Unless the other wasn’t being so big of an ass that you had to dump him first.
You had your own way of coping. One night stands began only after a few weeks. New dates after years. The only constant was your movie night. The night a relationship ends, you go see a romantic comedy at the multiplex during night hours. There’s a 24/7 program in Heaven, but winners usually go to bed early and you had the luck of being alone every time. Just absolutely destroying the milk and cereal bowl you prepared for yourself and crying in it.
But one time, you were not alone. You saw someone from behind, the light coming from the screen grazing his silhouette and casting a soft glow on it. When the figure turned around to look at you, your jaw dropped.
«Adam?!» you exclaimed, clutching the bowl of cereals to your chest.
Adam turned around and almost choked on the ribs he was eating, his cloak was stained of what looked like barbeque sauce and crumbs were cornering his lips. His mask was placed on the seat next to him.
«Holy shit! Not you» he hissed, squirming in his seat.
«What are you even doing here?» you asked with a puzzled face.
«I should ask you the same question, but again, I don’t find it weird that a whiny brat like you likes to go watch shitty movies alone at 3 a.m.»
You didn‘t answer. You were too tired. And he noticed. First he was smirking like the asshole he was, then his face softened as he noticed the make-up running down your cheeks. You looked exhausted, and sad. You were both.
«Bad day?» he asked, but tried to look dismissive by looking away.
«Yeah, got dumped. This is my ritual to cope with it every time it happens. Pretty pathetic».
Adam chuckled, shoving a handful of both popcorn and a rib in his mouth at once. You rolled your eyes. Of course he would make fun of you.
«Yeah yeah I know, I’m pathetic and you think I deserve it»
«No, it’s funny cause…» Adam’s laugh started to fade, but the ghost of a smile lingered on his face «I’m here for the same reason»
You looked at him in disbelief. Adam. THAT Adam. Was so sad for being dumped that he resorted to binge eating and watching cheesy romantic comedies at 3 a.m just like you. You didn’t even think he was capable of genuine love.
«You? Getting depressed over someone dumping you? Aren’t you a free-spirit fuck boy?» you inquire.
«Kinda right. We were fuck buddies, no strings attached. And I’m sure I’ll find another virtuous cunt to fuck with no problems»
Adam’s smirk disappeared at last, leaving him with a lost, somber face you’ve never seen on him not even once. It made you feel weird.
«But…I’m still capable of feeling sad if someone leaves»
You were about to leave. To exit the cinema or just sit on the furthest seats from him without looking back. But some minutes after, you were sitting right next to him. You both didn’t say a word.
At the end of the movie, you went out for a milkshake, danced at DDR at the 24/7 arcade, sang your heart out at a karaoke, and flew on the roof of the highest building of Heaven to look at the view and watch the sunrise together.
That’s when your unlikely friendship started.
It’s been many many centuries, thousands of years of you and Adam. You started calling each other best friends, hanging out whenever you could, either around Heaven or in your respective apartments. You were touchy with each other, in the most intimate way but never with any sexual innuendos. You cuddled up against his big frame when you watched movies on his bed, until you both ended up falling asleep and you found out he loved to spoon you. He frequently asked you to scratch the back of his head, because the feeling of your fingers running between his hair was warm. You bought each other food, and found comfort at the movies still when a relationship went wrong. And repeated the routine of the night you two became friends. You still fought from time to time, and oh the insults never ceased and never once you stopped trying to educate him, but you would always end up making up. Hugging each other and saying sorry (it takes a lot for Adam to do that and just slurs it in a low tone because he doesn’t want you to hear). He prefers to say it in another way.
«I don’t know what I would do without you in this lifetime so let’s just make peace okay?»
«Oh Adam, are you finally learning basic empathy?»
«You fucking cunt»
Despite the ambiguous nature of your relationship, whenever someone would ask if you two were together you would immediately go “no!”. Both of you. Despite Adam was…well, Adam, he never looked at you sexually. He was weirdly respectful of your spaces. Sure, he still made sexual jokes but they were what they were. Jokes. You would both lie if you said that the thought of having sex never crossed your minds. But it just stayed in your mind and somehow made you uncomfortable. You were friends, best friends. You didn’t need to have sex. And why? Only because Adam wanted to fuck every woman in existence? Well, that didn’t apply to you. You weren’t even sure he saw you as a woman.
There was only one time you openly talked about the idea of you two having sex. It was during one of your dumping-ritual nights. That time, both you and Adam were dumped on the same day. Just like that one night many, many centuries ago. You were in the front row, alone, watching a movie about two best friends who hooked up and discovered they had feelings for each other.
«Pf» Adam spat droplets of milk that splashed back in his cereal bowl «if they were suuuch best friends, why would sex change anything? It’s just putting your dick in a vagina»
You shrugged, then talked with your mouth full «Dunno, they just look stupid to me»
«Agreed»
Silence. Embarrassing silence as the two main characters declared their love for each other and started having sex again, this time conscious of their feelings. You saw plenty of movies with sex scenes in it with Adam but you never got embarrassed. Usually Adam would start judging the scene like a critique, declaring how he would’ve been a better fuck than the guy on screen.
You both pressed your lips together in a thin line, eyes wide and brows knitted in the middle from the nervousness. Until you broke the silence.
«You think that if we like…hypothetically had sex with each other, things between us would change?»
Adam chokes on his soda, and you have to hit his back to save him from choking.
«Yo what the fuck!» he exclaimed, you felt a pang of embarrassment hit your stomach.
«I’m not proposing anything! It’s just a question, for fucks sake you’re always so dramatic!» you raised both of your hands in defense.
Adam’s cheeks turned reddish, and he looked away from you.
«I mean, we are so close to each other that I think we should be capable of separating sex and feelings. At least I’m a champion at not caring about feelings when having sex» he smirked.
«Trust me I know» you rolled your eyes.
«And well, we don’t like each other in that way, so it should be easy»
«Right. But still, I don’t think I wanna try»
The tone of the conversation turned back to it’s usual self, casual and comfortable. You didn’t shift the topic though.
«Mh-mh» Adam hummed, nodding.
«I mean, it’s kinda fun to think about it. But it would be so weird. Totally weird. Me and you…ugh no, weird» you said, sticking your tongue out.
Adam chuckled «Right…»
A moment of comfortable silence lingered. This time, it’s Adam that broke it.
«Listen, can I propose you a challenge?» Adam asked, leaning towards you.
«Go on, but knowing you I’m scared and I’ll probably say no»
«If we can’t keep a relationship in the next 100 years, we’ll have sex with each other. Just one time and never again».
You bursted out laughing, holding your stomach as Adam looked at you fondly.
«This is the stupidest thing I’ve heard from you! Which is crazy!» you wiped away a tear with your finger.
«Oh c’mon! Are you chickening out? Fearing that you’ll fall in love with me?» he teased, jokingly leaning towards you and fluttering his lashes.
You laughed more, amused by his antics.
«In your wildest dreams. But you know what? Challenge accepted. Let’s see if we can keep a relationship» you said, resting your head on his shoulder.
Adam smirked and leaned his cheek on your head, pressing softly against your hair.
«We’ll probably just end up forgetting about it. But if not, I can assure you that you’ll see a dick bigger than this guy’s!» he pointed a finger towards the big screen, the two protagonists were laying naked in bed.
You laughed, and in the meantime you tried to picture them as you and Adam. You stopped laughing all of a sudden when you felt a weird fluttering in your stomach. But you brushed it aside. Without moving your head from his shoulder, you gazed up at Adam.
Yeah, he was right. You’ll just probably end up forgetting about this idiot deal…
Al got Hitched? (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
CW: SEASON 2 SPOILERS!!!! Use of Y/n, ice themed overlord reader, gen gap, "I hate my wife" type shi, might make a series????
Angel Dust, Vaggie, Cherri, and Lucifer gathered around the front door of the hotel gawking at the new and distinctive individual Charlie had brought in. Blue skin, Icy blue hair, a figure skater dress that looked like it was made of crystals, fur coat hanging around her ankles, and her height elevated by ice skates.
"Everyone, meet Y/n!" Charlie introduced her. "She's the hotel's new PR manager."
Everyone continued gawking. The infamous Ice Queen that had ruled the North of the Pentagram for decades was now in front of them.
"Nice to meet you." She gave a professional and eerie smile.
"Why do we need a PR manager?" Angel asked, still shocked.
"Well with Vox and his new...campaign against me and the hotel, it's best if we have a better hold over our image." Charlie chuckled nervously.
She looked up at the decor of the hotel and her smile faltered a little. "Hm...awful lot of red." With a snap of her fingers, the hotel was now adorned with silver ice crystals strung across the railings and hung from the chandelier. "That's better."
Vaggie's eye was caught by something glittering on her left hand. it was a ring, a beautiful, big ol' diamond ring.
"You're married?" Vaggie asked. "I always thought you were single. You know...running your territory?"
"That is not the case," She scowled slightly. "unfortunately."
Charlie raised an eyebrow.
"How is it unfortunate? Getting married is supposed to be one of the most wonderful things ever!" She swooned.
"That's if you're not married to-"
"OH HELL NO!" A static voice called from the second floor veranda. Y/n's demeanour immediately changed.
"What the FUCK are you doing here?!" She yelled up at him.
"I could ask you the same question!?"
They both began bickering and yelling over eachother. Angel and Vaggie shared confused and concerned glances, Alastor had never bickered like this with anyone. His ears (or hair I still don't know) swept back and his permanent smile twitching with irritation showed his true distaste for his apparent wife.
"Wait," Angel spoke up. "you're married to him?" He asked Y/n.
"Unfortunately."
"...why?"
"I ask myself that everyday."
"The feeling is mutual." Alastor scowls. "Charlie, what is SHE doing here?"
"Uh- Well! Alastor, Y/n is our new PR manager. You now..." She trailed off. "Just uh..."
"I'm taking your job." Y/n says to Alastor.
"What?! No! That is not what you are doing!" Charlie cut in. "Alastor is the host of the hotel that occasionally makes commercials which you will be doing now!"
"Works for me," Y/n looks her husband up and down. "make sure my room is far away from his."
Charlie gulps and nods, giving a thumbs up and a crooked smile.
Charlie leads Y/n away with her key and the rest of the gang immediately starts gawking at Alastor.
“And you’re all staring at me because?”
Vaggie blinked before yelling.
“Why did you never tell us you were married!?”
“Because it’s frankly none of your business.”
Lucifer nudged Vaggie with his elbow and muttered to her.
"Or because she's hard on the eyes." He chuckled and Vaggie tensed up. If Lucifer found a new way to make fun of Alastor, he was going to use it. Alastor's usual static hum grew louder and his head snapped around to Lucifer.
"Say that again."
Lucifer was enjoying messing with the Radio Demon.
"Your wife," He leaned closer to him. "is ugly." Of course he didn't think that, he just liked messing with Alastor.
Alastor's static screeched as he revved up to attack Lucifer. Now Angel and Cherri were just confused.
"Wait so do you hate your wife or not?"
"That is stupid question!" Alastor yelled at Angel, his powers calming down. "Of course I don't hate her she's just irritating as fuck!"
"So why'd you marry her then?"
"I don't have to answer to you!"
Further questioning only pushed Alastor's buttons further until he attempted to blasted Lucifer out of the building, rather unsuccessfully (Lucifer didn't even say anything.)
@/enchanthings
Charlie lead the ice overlord through the hotel on a tour before reaching her room on the opposite end of the hotel to Alastor's and on a completely different floor, the knowledge of her association with Alastor made Charlie a little awkward.
"So uh...Taa daa!" She swung the door open to reveal the crimson clad bedroom. "You can change it if you like."
"Don't worry hun I will." Charlie lingered in the doorway. "Is that all?"
"I uh...just wanted to ask-?"
"About Alastor and I?"
Charlie nodded and Y/n beckoned her into the room with her. Charlie entered, closing the door behind her.
"So what would you like to know?"
"Everything..."
"Well..." She began. "I died in the 90s so way after Alastor. I was young, scared and...slightly...very depressed." Y/n chuckled sheepishly. "So when Alastor came to me with a deal, I didn't know what to think of him but I knew enough about demons to never ever make a deal with one. So I refused. He didn't like that and disappeared. Soon, I started gaining power of my own, I was making deals, controlling territory and becoming someone noteworthy. Not long after I joined the ranks of the Sovereign overlords. That's where Al and I crossed paths again. He remembered me, surprisingly. So when he approached me before my first meeting, seeing me at my most anxious, it amused him..."
@/enchanthings
2007
Y/n, freshly named a sovereign overlord, stood out the front of Carmilla's conference room, picking at her nails. She hadn't felt this scared or nervous since her first day in Hell. These were the most powerful sinners in all of Hell, they could obliterate her in the blink of an eye and yet she was now one of them.
"Well look who it is!" Alastor called from behind, approaching her. She tensed up, she hadn't seen the Radio Demon since he tried to make a deal with her but she had heard his broadcasts. The screams that echoed through the Pentagram, tortured her dreams, fueled her nightmares. Yet he was here, being civil.
"What do you want from me?"
"Haha!" His radio static voice was cocky and apathetic, like it had rumoured to be. "My dear! You are one of us now! If I tried to hurt you..." The lights flickered and his eyes and features glowed green before snapping back to normal. "well that would be idiocy! Come now!" His hand found her back and led her into the meeting room.
"Ah, so glad you could join us Y/n." Carmilla greeted and she nodded in response. Y/n found an empty seat and sighed in relief when no one glared at her for sitting in it. "Welcome Hell's Sovereign Overlords, I pleased to announce another for our ranks." She gestured her large hand towards you. "Y/n, the Ice Queen, over 2,000 souls in less than a decade. Quite impressive." You smiled in appreciation and a quiet murmur went around the table before all eyes were back on Carmilla as she conducted the meeting, all eyes except Alastor's. He was looking at her the entire time, almost creepily, like she was prey, it sent a chill down her spine yet her face couldn't help but warm. Those were either bedroom eyes or sleep-with-one-eye-open...eyes.
The meeting was adjourned and Y/n's anxiety ceased for a moment. That moment was over when Alastor's voice rang in her ears.
"Well my dear I'd say that was a successful first meeting!"
"Oh uh..." She didn't want to be rude and tell him to fuck off because he scared the shit out of her. "thanks."
"Why don't I take you out for a whiskey and a dance to celebrate? I find quite relaxing to help wind down after such a day."
"Oh uh...I would but I don't exactly...drink whiskey."
"Well then what do you drink?" She was about to answer when he laughed and put his arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry about it my dear! We'll find something you like!"
Y/n surprisingly had a really good time that night, she found out she loved brandy and was even dragged to the dance floor by Alastor. It was nice.
@/enchanthings
"And the rest is history." Y/n looked back at Charlie who was now in awe of this beautiful romance between the two overlords.
"Wait so..." She snapped out of her awe. "What happened for you to act like you hate eachother now?"
She sighed and looked down at her skates.
"7 years is a long time of not knowing where someone is, how they're doing, or if they're even alive...especially if he's your husband. He never told me why he left so...yeah. We've just been avoiding eachother."
"Oh...I'm sorry. Do you...?"
"Still love him?" Charlie nodded. "Of course I do. Just because we fight doesn't mean I hate him."
Charlie was suddenly sent deep into thought before gasping.
"I just had the BEST idea for a trust exercise!" She yelled as she began sprinting downstairs. Curiosity got the better of Y/n and she followed Charlie down.
"EVERYONE!" She called and Nifty zipped into the lobby. Her eyes locked on Y/n.
"SHE'S BACK!" Nifty dashed over to the ice queen and scampered up her coat.
"Hey Niff!"
"Look who decided to show her face." Husk greeted her with a smirk, a playful greeting for his friend.
"Well the world could do a little less with yours." She matched his energy with an equally sassy comment.
"OK! SO! Today we will be discussing...drumroll please!"
The room was silent.
"SECRETS!" Everyone was confused and a little concerned. "Okay so someone will step into the circle and tell us a secret about themselves!"
"...why?" Cherri asked.
"Because it builds trust! Newest goes first!"
"Huh?" Y/n was pushed into the circle. "What secret do I tell?"
"Uh...anything!"
"Ok um..." She thought for a moment. "I guess before I died I was about to go to the Olympics, if that counts?"
"Woah no shit!" Angel chuckled, shocked and impressed.
"It's not that impressive..." Alastor muttered under his breath.
"Oh get over yourself Alastor." Y/n rolled her eyes. "I know you're just jealous cause you did nothing meaningful with your life."
And with that, another argument ensued.
"I did nothing meaningful!?"
"Being a LIAR on a radio show hardly counts as meaningful!"
"You want to talk about being a liar?!"
Alastor turned to the rest of the group.
"She didn't die in the 1990s like she's been telling everyone she has!" He pointed at her. "She died in 2003!"
"That's basically the 90s!"
"It most certainly is not!"
Charlie stepped between you two and put a stop to the petty argument. A static noise that almost sounded like a growl came from Alastor as he disappeared with his shadows. Y/n pinched her nose and sighed.
"He always does this..."
@/enchanthings
Later on in the night, Y/n received a call from a long time friend of hers, Rosie.
"Hiya Hun! How are you my dear?" Rosie asked in her New York-ish accent.
"I'm good," She looked at the time. "It's really late. Is everything okay?"
"Yes! Well...also no," Rosie let out a chuckle. "Alastor had a little too much whiskey, you know he can't handle all that much liquor, and he won't let me take him back to the hotel. He's asking for you specifically."
Y/n sighed softly and clicked her tongue.
"I'll be there in 5. Bye sweetie." She hung up on Rosie and threw her fur coat over her silk nightgown before stepping into her ice skates which she had grown used to wearing as regular shoes by now.
Y/n snuck out of the hotel and headed to the bar Alastor frequented in cannibal town. Rosie waited out the front, holding Alastor by the back of his coat.
"I believe this is yours!" She practically threw Alastor at Y/n.
"Yep, he's mine alright," She slung Alastor's arm over her shoulder to hold him up and waved goodbye to Rosie. "Thanks bae."
She walked him through the streets of Hell, he didn't speak once, only making static groaning. They reached the hotel and entered the still brightly lit lobby.
"Come on Al, up the stairs." She mumbled, trying to get Alastor up the stairs to his room. He grumbled and made a lackluster attempt to walk up. By the time Y/n had hauled her inebriated husband up the stairs, her legs were just about dead.
"Y/n..." He said almost inaudibly as they reached his room. "I'm sorry for leaving...and for everything today."
"I know you are hun, let's get you to bed." Y/n opened the hotel room door and entered the hellishly modified room, transformed to be a mini bayou with a bed and vanity. She took off his jacket and led him to bed, laying him down on the matress.
"Will you stay with me tonight...my darling?" Alastor was always soft when he was drunk (probably the one thing Mimzy didn't lie about).
"Of course I will." She took off her skates and coat, hanging the pure white fur on the hanger near the door, before lying in bed next to her husband. He inched closer to her, the permanent smile on his face just a little more genuine as he buried his face into her neck.
"I love you, Sweetheart..." He murmured into her skin.
"I love you too," She flicked one of his ears (OR HAIR! I STILL DON'T KNOW). "Now go to sleep you idiot."
The sounds of the artificial environment lulled you both to sleep after years of avoiding eachother at all costs. He was yours, you're stupid sadistic husband.
Chat should I start writing again
ATTION ALL JUJUTSU KAISEN WRITER
There is an account called @kzruzismo, which is harassing JJK writers who exclusively write #x fem reader or #x gn reader fics writers on the Tumblr.
If you see their posts for example;
Report the Block immediately. Don't interact with them so it doesn't full the fire.
NO DEATH THREATS OR INSENSITIVE COMMENTS. They are 18 they will learn this wrong if they are taught correctly.
If you still want to spread the word, only repost
Well, well, well. I've been informed by my little group of friends that the creature is back. I just wanted to add my own warning because of actual experience I have with this person.
This is for the JJK community. This user you all speak of is someone I met on discord under the username of "_qrvamp_" and display name of just "Qrvamp", in a server of a friend. Now, this is a long post of what my friends I went through with this person. See, this person right here was known in the dc server as "the user who complains about no male reader". The reason they're doing this is because of two main reasons.
That being:
They're trans (ftm).
They couldn't find male reader content.
All of what they're doing is because they're trans and can't find content that's for them. They've literally falsely accused some creators of being homophobic, have made racist remarks of black women (in art), has sent rape and death threats to people (and got their SISTER involved) all because barely any writer/artist made male reader content and more specifically, trans male reader. According to my friends, they had been problematic ever since they joined the server but I will be showing all pieces of evidence of how horrible and immature this person is.
Here's their twitter
False accusations.
They used the n-word despite having admitted to NOT being black.
The person named Haley is their sister.
As you can see, it's pretty messy. There are more screenshot to add but unfortunately, due to the image limit this is all I have, but what you should know is that this person has told someone to "cut deeper" sent more death threats to someone's family members and overall pretty bad stuff.
I'd also like to add that they sent NSFW to a minor and members of the server, pictures that were not asked and especially sent in the non NSFW channels.
This is their alternate account on Tumblr.
So yeah, this isn't the first time they've done this, unfortunately.
They’re also going under the username qrvamp6996 now and harassing people so I suggest blocking them immediately
Follow @qrvamp6996 and get more of the good stuff by joining Tumblr today. Dive in!
Also to add this because dawg wants to act oppressed while being racist
Heaven Spent
℣ Pairing: Vox X angelic!reader
℣ Summary: A naïve angel descends to Hell looking for Vagina. Finds Vox instead.
℣ Content notes: Voyeurism, first time for everything, explicit sexual content, thigh riding, guided masturbation, Vox being Vox, pet names: mostly sweetheart, babydoll and baby, reader is a girl, reader has a pussy and tits, reader has a name and it's a fucking stupid one.
Now has a sequel: Hell 2 Pay!
You weren’t a real exorcist, not really. You didn’t pass the wingspan requirement for a start, or, as the Lieutenant never ceased to remind you, the strength requirements. You were never getting selected into one of the lucky squads who got to go down to Hell and do battle with demons. But you had begged to join, and everyone needed someone to sweep the floors and do laundry, and so, that was you, swooping through the exorcist barracks with a mop and bucket while everyone around you trained in combat.
Most of the exorcists didn’t even acknowledge your existence. You were invisible, inaudible, the help. The big exception to the rule was Lieutenant’s strongest soldier, Vagina. You would see her training tirelessly, on the practice grounds after all the others had left, and bring her a fresh towel and a pitcher of iced lemonade. She would smile at you. She knew your name. When you started talking about something that interested you, she didn’t tell you to go away or walk off.
In all of Heaven, Vagina was the closest thing you had to a friend.
And then, one day, the squads had come back from their battles with the forces of Hell, and she had been gone. No-one had wanted to look you in the eye, no-one even mentioned her name. Gone. Dead? No, Vagina was Heaven’s strongest soldier, you’d heard Adam say as much. There was no way she could be dead.
Had they left her behind? Every day your thoughts were plagued by thoughts of Vagina stuck behind enemy lines, Hell’s forces doing terrible things to her. And of course the Lieutenant wouldn’t send more exorcists after her; how could she risk Heaven’s forces for the wellbeing of a single soldier? But you? You were disposable. You were no asset to Adam’s forces, your wings so malformed that you could barely fly, and with Vagina gone there wasn’t anyone who would miss you on a personal level.
With your access to the exorcists’ laundry, it was easy to assemble a makeshift uniform for yourself, a spare sword strapped to your waist as you lined up with the departing squads. The masks disguised everyone’s faces, so no-one looked twice at you. You filtered out the chatter of the exorcists around you as you watched the portal to Hell open, a glowing circle with a core of deep red.
You would find Vagina, and return to Heaven with her, useful at last. Maybe the Lieutenant would be so impressed that she would make you a full exorcist.
Vox slurped his kale and spirulina smoothie as he watched the descending horde of angels through fifteen distinct drone feeds. This year’s purge was uncharacteristically quiet in the Vee tower; Valentino was doing some sort of romantic make-up dinner with one of his sluts and Velvette was organizing some sort of augmented reality event where sinners ran the length of the city taking selfies without getting killed by exorcists, which left Vox holding down the fort.
One of the systems gave a beep as it picked up an anomaly. Now that, that was interesting. It looked like the pack had a straggler this year. Vox picked a drone to fly closer, opening a channel to Velvette as he did so.
“-you better not be taking the piss, Vox. I’m sort of a tiny bit busy here, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“Hear me out, this could be big,” said Vox, and Velvette gave a snort but went quiet. “Any of your fuckheads out near the west side of the pentagram?”
One of your wings was bigger than the other. That was just how it was, just a little defect that made it difficult to fly, and almost impossible to fly long distances. When you had asked about it, Saint Peter had patted you on the shoulder and told you that everyone was special in different ways. And you had accepted that. Some people got beautiful singing voices, or brains that could do mathematics faster than anyone else’s, and you got one wing that was smaller than the other, primary feathers growing in with a slight curl that meant your flight was wobbly and exhausting.
And that was just part of God’s plan.
What was not part of God’s plan, it seemed, was for you to keep up with the squads of exorcists descending to Hell. They sped up as they passed through the portal, the pack quickly speeding up to a pace that your wings could no longer carry you at. You found yourself drifting behind, panting as you beat your wings to correct your uneven path.
Strangely, you didn’t see the forces of Hell rising to do battle, but you supposed you were inexperienced in this sort of thing. The last time you’d even swung a sword had been at the exorcist tryouts. Giving up on catching up with the pack, you hung back, your wingbeats slowing as you surveyed the city below from your wobbly vantage point. You should find somewhere to hide, you reasoned, until the battle was over and you could look for Vagina safely.
Finding Vagina in Hell was harder than you would have guessed. Even after you shed your exorcist disguise and folded your wings away, people didn’t really want to talk to you, and when you started asking about Vagina, faces turned covetous, and people started asking for money. Which, of course, you didn’t have. You didn’t need money in Heaven, why would people want it in Hell? But everywhere you asked, the answer was the same. If you wanted to know about Vagina, you needed money. And if you wanted money, well, you needed a job.
That's how you found yourself in a line of sinners three miles long, for an open audition for a spokesperson for something called Angelic Security, a subdivision of something called VoxTek. You weren’t going for the audition itself, but a sinner had offered you money to queue for them, and queuing was a pretty morally decent, angel-appropriate act. You knew how to queue. You could queue for days.
You were queuing when a fish demon with a VoxTek nametag walked past, on a video call with someone important, the other side of the conversation blaring out the speakers of his tablet as he held it up to his face.
“Listen, do you have any idea how fucking busy I am today? Whose crackpot idea was this anyway? No, don't answer that, I don't fucking care. Just pick the three at the front and, uh, that one, no, the hot one with the gray skin.”
“Whatever you say, sir.” The fish demon glanced over his shoulder at you, making a beckoning gesture as the man on the other end cut the call.
You pointed to your chest with a silent me? and the fish demon nodded, walking on without a backwards look as you trailed along after him.
“Actually, I was holding a spot in the line for someone else, they were going to pay me money, if you could let me borrow a phone, I could -” you scurried to keep up. “-you know I don't think it's really fair that someone’s paid me to keep their place and now I'm going in with you, isn't that against the rules?”
“Look, lady.” The fish demon held out a hand as he waved the other candidates over, to grumbling from the other people in the line. “I'm not paid enough to deal with your drama shit, save it for the casting director.”
“Are you really going to leave all those people out there?” you asked quietly as the assistant let you through the security gate at the front of the building. “Some of them have been waiting for days. It doesn’t seem fair.”
The man shrugged. “What can I say? Welcome to Hell.”
Out of a lingering sense of guilt, you let the three women who had been in the front of the line go into the audition first, so that when you were called up, no-one was waiting. The casting director turned out to be the tall demon in the shirtsleeves and sweater vest that the dour fish had been talking to on his tablet. He had a large, rectangular head, and was handsome, in a striking sort of way.
He was sat on a bench against the wall of the audition room, elbows on his knees, and he looked up as you came in, watching you walk, an eyebrow raised.
“H-hey.” You gave a little wave. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. You see, I was saving a space in the line for someone else, but the assistant told me to come in here, and, you see, I was hoping that maybe I could phone the person, and, um, maybe they could do the audition?”
“You have no idea who I am, do you?” The television headed demon gave you a sidelong grin.
“I'm really sorry, but I don't.” You bit your lip, mentally preparing for a lie. “You see, I'm kind of new here.”
“Oh yeah? How long since you, y'know?” He made a vague hand gesture, getting to his feet.
Oh, darn. You had no idea what a good number would be here. You furrowed your brow. So if the universe was about ten thousand years old, and the average human lived to one hundred and twenty years old… a reasonable amount of time for a newcomer to have been in Hell was…
“Oh, not long. Only about three hundred years.” You plastered a big smile over your face, hoping Mr Television bought your deception.
“Oh, only three hundred you say? Wow, you are new, huh.” He smiled back at you, and you did a quick internal fist pump. Success! You were a natural liar! At this rate, you'd be able to find Vagina and be out of Hell in no time flat.
“My name's Vox, by the way. Like the company.” He snapped his fingers, and the tagline VOXTEK: TRUST US scrolled across the big screen on the wall of the audition room. He tilted his head. “What's yours?”
“My name?” You blinked. It had been a very long time since you'd had to introduce yourself to anyone not already aware of your name, and everybody in Hell just seemed to enjoy making up rude epithets for you, so you hadn't bothered with introductions. “My name's, uh, Areola. Like the -” you paused, unbuttoning your shirt.
Vox stared at you, frozen for a second before he raised a hand to cover yours, halting your struggling fingers. “You don't need to whip them out, dollface. I know what a boob is.”
“Y-you do?” you stammered, part of you thankful and a smaller, more sinful part disappointed, the touch of his fingertips on your hand like fire against your nerves. He was probably down here for one of the carnal sins, the sins of the flesh Chastity was always warning the younger angels about. “Of-of course you do, silly me.”
“Can I call you Ari?”
You’d always hoped the other angels would give you a nickname like that. Like Vagina was called Vaggie by her squadmates. But everyone in Heaven who called you by any name at all called you Areola, even Vagina did. To have Vox just give you a nickname like this, apropos of nothing, seemed too good to be true.
“Y-yeah! I’d like that. A lot, actually.” You swallowed. “You’re the first person who’s been nice to me here,” you admitted.
Vox shrugged. “I’m a nice guy, most of the time. I can afford to be. You want the job?”
“What?” You blinked. “B-but I didn’t audition. I w-wasn’t even in the line.”
“It’s not a hard job, if that’s what you’re worried about,” said Vox, holding out his hand. “You take a few photos, record a few infomercials, and bam, you’re done! You won’t even have to run your own social media profiles. And the money-”
“I’m really sorry, Vox, I-I can’t.” You took a step backwards, hands raised. “I-I should go. I don’t want to waste any more of your time.”
You ran.
You ran without thinking, heart in your throat, past the security doors, away. Taking something that wasn’t yours was stealing, even if someone offered it to you. You should never have gone inside. Hell was terrible and confusing, and you wished that Vagina was here. She would know what to do. She would have said something tough, and made Vox do the right thing. She wouldn’t have run away. You stopped, panting for breath, and realized you had no idea where you were. You were down an alley, a crowd of curious sinners behind you.
“Hey, it’s that bitch who cut the line.”
“Thinks she’s better than us.”
Oh, this was bad. You took a step back, reaching for your angelic sword with a trembling hand.
Velvette’s face looked down at Vox from the big screen on the wall where the tagline had scrolled, thirty feet wide. “That’s seriously who you’re gonna hire as the new Angelic Security mascot? You have to be fucking shitting me.”
Vox rolled his eyes. “Velvette, she is a real, literal fucking angel. I challenge you to think of a more appropriate pick.”
“It’s your subsidiary, so whatever.” Velvette pursed her lips. “I just hope you know that I’m not costuming her dumpy arse.”
“Your concerns are duly noted,” said Vox, redirecting his attention from the call to his nearby drones. “Now pipe down. I need to focus.”
Vox gave a small sigh as he transferred a small portion of his conscious mind to the drone that hung in the air over the dispersing line of would-be auditions, looking for your face. He flitted from security camera to security camera, searching for a telltale flash of white and grey.
Truthfully, he hadn’t expected you to be so naive. Exorcists, from what data he had on them, were hardened killers, who regarded sinners as scum to be cleaned up.
Vox hadn’t spent a lot of time with exorcists, but he had spent a lot of time with killers, and his guts told him you weren’t one. Which was weird, but he could work with that. He just needed to make sure that no-one else got to you before he did.
“Alleyway behind the old munitions factory,” said Velvette from above him, sounding bored. “There’s three pissed off old slags about to shiv your new pet; someone’s streaming it.”
Fuck. Vox grimaced, switching his attention to the feed. Sure enough, there you were, fear on your face as three taller sinners made you back up against a wall, your hands out, pleading. “I’m gonna cut the signal. Make sure nothing goes viral.”
Travel by lightning was fast, but it wasn’t instantaneous. Vox manifested in a flash of ozone to see two dead sinners, you with your sword through the guts of a third. Your eyes were glowing gold, unseeing and dangerous, a splatter of blood across your face.
“Ari?” Vox ventured, keeping his voice as low and calming as he could.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, oh-” You yanked the sword from the guts of the woman who’d been about to stab you, and oh goodness that was a lot of blood that was gushing out of her. You looked in horror at Vox. “I didn’t-” you started, then stopped. The one person in this place who had been kind to you, and he had to see you like this? These sinners weren’t even soldiers; they just looked like regular people, and granted they had tried to murder you, but that didn’t mean they deserved to die.
“Hey, babydoll. Easy, now.” Vox approached you his hands out, calming.
You were a murderer now; the police would catch you and you’d have to go to Hell jail. You didn’t want to go to Hell jail; the food was probably terrible and you’d never be able to find Vagina. The back of your throat hurt at the hopelessness of it all. You stared at Vox, your vision wobbling as tears formed.
“You’ll be okay, shit, uh, let’s get that big knife out of your hand-” Vox’s blue talons were on your fingers, prying them from the hilt of your sword as he moved in, and you resisted for a second before his coaxing moved you and you let go, surrendering the sword into Vox’s grasp as his other arm wrapped around you. “You’re gonna be okay, I got you.”
Pressing your face into the fuzzy material of Vox’s sweatervest, you gave a big, ugly sob. You clung to him as you cried, vaguely aware of his arm around you, his claws petting your hair. Oh, you’d ruined everything now. He probably thought you were pathetic.
“I’m really sorry,” you mumbled against his chest. “Y-you should probably hand me over to the police now, so you don’t get in trouble.”
“Excuse me?” Vox’s tone was incredulous.
You sniffed, blinking more tears from your eyes. “You know, the police? Since I committed three murders?”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Vox breathed, looking down at you, his claws carding through your hair. “There aren’t any police in Hell. Well, there are lots of cops in Hell, sure, but no police force.”
“B-but I just, I just-” you motioned to the bodies in the alleyway behind you. “How will I be punished?”
“Oh, fuck me, you’re adorable.” Vox covered his face with a hand. “You’ve had a long day, babydoll. Let me take you home, and you can have a bath, and a change of clothes, and maybe then we can talk about your problems, yeah? I’m sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.”
No-one had ever been this nice to you, even in Heaven. Part of you wondered whether Vox was in Hell by mistake, and you nodded, slowly, face against his chest again as his hand moved to the small of your back.
“You’re bringing a fucking exorcist to our fucking living quarters?” Valentino’s eyebrow raised above the frames of his pink glasses. “Are you fucking stupid? Or just thinking with your dick?”
“Look, I’ve just gotta win her trust, okay” Vox leaned back, analyzing Valentino’s surroundings through the videofeed. He was in his studio, which was a good thing. There was also a visible lovebite on the exposed skin above Val’s second set of arms. Which was good; it meant Valentino and his on-off squeeze were on talking terms.
“So you can fuck her?” Valentino took a drag on his cigarette, pink smoke briefly clouding the lens of the camera.
“Uh, so she’ll fucking work with us.” Vox sighed heavily. “You have a one track fucking mind sometimes Val, I swear.”
“But you are gonna fuck her, aren’t you?” There was a gleam in Val’s eye now.
“First of all,” said Vox, holding up a finger, careful with his volume so that his words didn’t travel to you ensconced in your bubble bath in the next room. “I don’t recall putting you in charge of where I put my dick. And secondly, fuck you.”
Valentino laughed, good-natured. “Alright, papito.” He grinned, gold tooth flashing. “I’ll take my Angel out somewhere else tonight, you have fun with yours.”
They compared calendars before Vox closed the call, grumbling to himself. All things considered, it could have gone much worse- if Valentino hadn’t been in a good mood, he might have decided to be jealous and that would have been a pain in the ass. Valentino’s instincts weren’t wrong, either; the big moth had been around Vox for too long to not have picked up on his preferences. The combination of dangerous power and lack of worldliness just did something for him. And then there was your body.
Vox chanced a peek through the security cameras as you climbed out of the bath, a sneak preview, he told himself, growing hard in his pants as he took in the soft lines of your thighs, the crest of downy feathers that covered your pudenda, snowy white to match your hair. Fuck, but you looked soft all over, as if his hands would sink right into you. Vox cut the feed with a groan; if he kept on watching there was a good chance you’d walk in on him jacking off over the video, and that wasn’t really the impression he wanted to make. No, he needed to be trustworthy, a good guy, someone you felt you could work for. Someone you’d trust your soul to.
And Vox might be a voyeur, but he could keep it in his pants if he needed to. Business before pleasure.
Vox was right; the bath did help. Warm water cradled your body, the panic that had wracked you flowing out of you. You added bath salts, and bubbles, and stayed in there much longer than you really needed to, feeling the dirt that had accumulated on you since your descent into Hell float away. Vox’s tower was the only place you’d visited in Hell so far that had been clean, all shining chrome and expensive polished black granite. Finally, you climbed out, even your conscience feeling cleaner than it had when you had started, and grabbed a towel so fluffy that felt like it had been imported from Heaven.
The outfit that Vox had left for you was modest and well-fitting, a soft wool cardigan with a camisole and blouse to go underneath and a pleated a-line skirt that reached your mid-calf, all in eggshell colors that complemented your grey skin. Even the underwear was perfectly sized, and you tried not to think too hard about it- you were pretty sure that one of VoxTek’s subsidiaries was a fashion company of some sort, and Vox had probably guessed.
“Hey, Ari.” Vox gave you a smile as you stepped out, and you found yourself smiling back at him. “You feeling better? I ordered us Dim Sum.”
“I, uh, yeah. Thank you.” You pushed your hair behind your ear. “For everything.”
Vox’s smile only grew. Your plan had been to thank him for his help and leave, but he’d gone to the trouble of organizing you food already and leaving would be rude and the little steamed buns he was offering you smelled very good, so you found yourself sitting with him, listening to him talk about the food as he piled different items onto your plate. All of it was delicious.
“-and you need to try this one, it’s got the spicy shrimp paste, I don’t know how you are with spice, so it might come on a bit strong for you, but it’s worth it, trust me.”
You nodded, your reflexive oh no, I couldn’t dying on your lips as you smelled the bun, the delicate scent of the shrimp coupled with a dark, sweet undercurrent. You bit in, the gummy texture of the outer dumpling giving way to something coarser and more savory; perfectly cooked crustacean flesh that leaked juices when broken, in the paste that Vox had described, which imbued a richness and a sweetness both at once. It had a spice that began as an ache on the back of your tongue, and built and built upon itself, until you were salivating almost painfully and yet somehow wanting more. You closed your eyes, your jaw stopping to prolong the moment.
“So.” Vox picked his moment to lean in, face perilously close to yours. “What do you want, Ari?”
You, was your embarrassing, gut instinct response, thankfully stymied by your mouth full of dumpling. You chewed and swallowed, which gave you time to think. Vox was trustworthy. He’d been nothing but kind to you. He wanted to help. “I had- have a friend,” you said, feeling your pulse quicken. It was a risk, telling Vox. If he figured out that you were an angel, you’d be in big trouble. “She’s in Hell, somewhere. I’m looking for her.”
“I’m pretty good at finding people,” said Vox, his expression sympathetic. “Maybe I could help?”
You shook your head, the taste of the dumpling still lingering on your tongue. “I can’t ask you to do that. You’ve already done so much, and I’ve got no way to repay you. I don’t even have money.”
“I’m sure there’s a way we could help each other,” said Vox, unperturbed. “Money isn’t everything, after all. Let’s think about it, see what we come up with, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you echoed Vox, nodding slowly. “You’re really nice to me,” you added, with a small frown.
“And is that a bad thing?” Vox asked, his screen tilting. He picked up the second of the shrimp paste dumplings with his chopsticks.
“No,” you admitted, quietly.
“Then,” said Vox, holding the dumpling out to you, not to your plate this time, but to your face. “You should accept it, yeah?”
Your face flushed from grey to white as you came to the realization that Vox’s intention was to hand feed you, a warm sensation in your stomach that had nothing to do with hunger. Cupping your hands under the dumpling to ensure none spilled, you opened your mouth. Again the outer shell of the dumpling was gummy against your lips, and you held it gently between your teeth so that Vox could withdraw his chopsticks. He looked happy as you chewed, and you told yourself this was nothing untoward, simply the demon being a good host.
“We should watch a movie,” he said, chin in his hand as he watched you chew. “I’ll let you pick.”
Hell, it turned out, or at least Vox, had a much wider selection of titles than were available in Heaven, and you hesitated to pick. In the end, Vox quizzed you on what you’d seen and what your favorites were, and picked something out. His earlier demand, of accept it, let me be nice to you, stuck in your head, overriding doubts that you might have expressed. You’d been warned, in Heaven, about the dangers of fraternization. How two people, watching a movie together alone, could fall into sin. But you’d never done anything like that, and Vox seemed nice.
When Vox patted the sofa next to him, you hesitated, and so Vox grabbed the bucket of popcorn he’d made and placed it by his thigh, a barrier between you.
“Better?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.
You looked at the popcorn. “It won’t stop us kissing,” you joked, a small smile.
“You can kiss me, if you like,” Vox returned your grin. “I won’t mind.”
He wasn’t joking, you realized, a surge of warmth through your core that caught you unguarded. “Isn’t that a sin?”
“Kissing?” Vox raised an eyebrow. “I’ve read like five, six versions of the bible and I don’t think any of them said shit about kissing.”
“Oh.” You swallowed, feeling your face turn from gray to white in a blush.
Vox didn’t do more than to open the possibility for you, but that possibility remained, playing at the periphery of your mind as you watched the movie with him, his arm looped easy round your shoulders, the bucket of popcorn the only chaperone stopping your hips from touching his. You could lean over, and just kiss him.
Waiting until he was engrossed in the film, his slim side profile showing to you, you leaned in, pressing your lips to the plastic of his screen’s casing. The material was smooth, the edges angular, and strangely warm.
“Heyy. What was that?” Vox tilted his head to you, an amused cast to his lips. When you didn’t answer his grin widened. “Did you just kiss me? In the middle of the movie?”
You tore your gaze from his, embarrassed. “Y-you said I could,” you protested, adding a belated, “sorry.”
“But kissing is usually a two-way thing,” said Vox, leaning in.
“I didn’t kiss your face,” you said, very factually.
“You didn’t,” agreed Vox, pushing a strand of hair back from your ear, the sharp edge of his talon tracing over sensitive skin. “So I won’t either.”
Vox leaned in, the bucket of popcorn chaperoning you threatening to topple as he drew his lips to your ear. The close proximity of his screen was enough to make your skin tingle, and you drew in a breath and held it, an uncomfortable pulse building between your legs as he took his time, breath hot over your neck and the shell of your ear. You didn’t dare tell him to hurry up, didn’t dare tell him to stop, not with how his mere proximity had you quivering, until at last you felt his lips, ghosting over your earlobe, teasing the soft flesh between them. Was it still a kiss, if his lips were now wrapped around a part of you, and sucking. Oh, Heavens. You bit back a noise, warmth pooling in your core as Vox’s tongue teased the circumference of your ear.
“Vox!” you squeaked, and he let you go, grinning.
“Try kissing my face next time. Or not, your choice.”
You went back to the movie, trying to tamp down the sinful thoughts that were spinning through your head. He didn’t deserve to be thought of lustfully like this. He was a really good guy- he was just trying to watch a movie with you and you were thinking lewd thoughts about him. You were an angel, for crying out loud: you were meant to be better than this!
His lips had felt so good, his tongue even better, a crackling spark that licked against your nerves. What would kissing his lips feel like? What would that tongue feel like, inside your mouth? Vox’s arm was back over your shoulders, his blue claws bright against the white of your blouse. You could touch his hand. Holding hands wasn’t sinful. People in Heaven held hands all the time. Hesitantly, you reached for his hand, your fingertips stroking from his wrist and over the back of his hand to his knuckles.
“You gonna kiss my hand next, babydoll?” asked Vox, his voice low and teasing.
“N-no,” you squeaked again, voice rising in pitch as your throat constricted.
Vox exhaled, glancing over at you, his thumb catching your exploring hand and stroking along your index finger. “Something the matter?”
Oh, all you could think about were the possibilities. Oh his lips on yours, his hand skating down over your shirt to encompass your breast. “I’m having sinful thoughts about you,” you confessed.
“Ohh?” Vox raised an eyebrow. “Lustful thoughts?”
Slowly, you nodded, shamefaced. “I’m really sorry. I know you’re just being a good host, and you don’t deserve me objectifying you…” you trailed off.
Vox just smiled. “I think I deserve to know exactly what lustful thoughts you were having, don’t you?”
“I was thinking about your fingers in my mouth,” you breathed out, though that was the least of your inner debauchery.
“Like this?” Vox asked, trailing blue talons up the side of your neck, over your jaw, and over your lips. You opened your mouth reflexively, and Vox slipped two fingers inside. Oh, fudge. Your eyes fluttered closed, a noise in your throat as Vox’s fingers explored, gentle as anything against the surface of your tongue, your cheek. “Were you thinking about them anywhere else?”
Face hot, you nodded, Vox’s fingers still inside your mouth, pulling at your lower lip slightly as he rocked his wrist back and forth.
“You gonna show me?” Vox asked, his voice still teasing, and with a shaking hand, you gestured to your own breasts, cupping them through the fabric of your blouse. The heat in your core was almost unbearable now, an embarrassing wetness pooling in the gusset of your panties.
“Get in my lap, babydoll,” said Vox, his voice soft as he withdrew his fingers from your mouth, a string of spittle trailing from your lower lip as he did. “I wanna do all the things you were fantasizing about me doing.”
Oh, you wanted this, you wanted this. So badly that it was a pulsing ache, an insistent drumbeat between your thighs. “Th-this is definitely sinful,” you said, hesitating.
Vox made no move to force you, sitting back a little on the couch. “Does it matter?” he asked, his tone going from sultry to playful again. “We’re both damned, after all.”
“R-right.” You swallowed, cursing yourself for your earlier lie. He waited, quiet, the movie playing forgotten on the big screen in front of you, until you moved the popcorn bucket to the floor and climbed onto his lap, your skirt bunching up around your knees as you straddled his legs.
“Well, heyy there beautiful,” growled Vox, looking at you, a finger pushing a strand of hair from your forehead, and you felt your face break into a smile. He crossed his legs, one over the other, so that his top thigh was flush with the gusset of your panties, smirking at you when his leg made contact. “Sitting comfortably?”
“Your leg… feels nice…” you managed, lamely, struggling for words. The pressure felt exquisite, the folds of your labia squashing together in a way that made you profoundly aware of the pulsing between your legs.
“Oh yeah?” Vox didn’t tease, and you were grateful. “You wanna stay like that? You maybe wanna rock back and forth a bit?” As if to demonstrate, he pushed his thigh up between your legs, against your gusset, and moved it side to side. You found yourself giving a soft whimper at the sensation. “It’s okay, baby,” said Vox, his voice soft and coaxing. “You can rub against me.”
You shouldn’t, you knew. You knew you should climb out of Vox’s lap, leave the feeling of his thigh between your legs behind, ignore the slick pooling in your panties. You should apologize for taking advantage of his generosity as a host, for even thinking about using his body in such a sordid way. You didn’t, though. Instead you canted your hips back, grinding your sex against the tensed muscle of his leg, finding warmth and friction and pleasure.
A shameful little whimper escaped your lips, and you felt Vox’s eyes on you, intent. “You don’t mind?”
Vox looked pleased with himself. “I invited you here, didn’t I?” He reached to your chest, tracing the lines you had traced when you had cupped your own breasts, the sensation of his claws through the fabric of your shirt leaving a tingling in its wake. You rocked your hips again, finding a slow rhythm, the sensations seeming to layer one atop the other, Vox’s talons moving up again, circling first one of your nipples and then the other, bringing each one to a sensitive point. “Do you wanna get them out for me?” he asked, voice low and gentle.
He withdrew his hands and your skin seemed to ache at the lack of him. “Will you touch them, if I do?” you asked, your voice small.
“If you ask me to,” said Vox, hands smoothing over the fabric of your skirt, over your thighs. “Otherwise if you want, I can enjoy the show. You want me to touch them, Ari?”
He used your name, not an epithet, his eyes on yours, and you felt the flush that bloomed on your cheeks, the flutter in your chest joining the pulse between your thighs as you continued to pleasure yourself on Vox’s thigh, each slow movement of your hips grinding the juices that soaked your panties into Vox’s slacks. Fingers trembling, you unbuttoned your blouse to your navel, then unhooked your bra, letting the straps fall from your shoulders, leaving your breasts exposed, nipples peeking over the lacy edge of your camisole. “Please,” you answered, feeling very exposed considering how little you were showing.
Vox pulled down the edge of your camisole with one talon, admiring his handiwork with a grin before his hands cupped your breasts, thumbs tracing soft circles around your namesake, your areolae. You made a noise in your throat, grinding hard against Vox’s thigh, and Vox gave an answering growl.
“Is that a good noise, babydoll?” Vox asked, gravel in his voice now. “You like having me squeeze your tits as you rub your pussy on my leg, huh?”
Shamefaced, you nodded, and Vox leaned in, a shift in his grip on your breasts pulling a moan from you. You froze, uncertain, as Vox lowered his wide rectangular head to your chest. As he had with your ear, he paused before his lips touched the skin, already tender and puckered from his fingers.
You whimpered, heat pooling in your core as you ground yourself wantonly against his leg, wet fabric against wet fabric, and Vox groaned, his breath hot over your breast. “Good girl,” he murmured, taking your nipple between his lips and sucking.
No amount of Heavenly chastity infomercials could have prepared you for how your next moments felt; Vox’s mouth first on one breast, then the other, the gentle tug of his teeth, the electrical lash of his tongue, all of that competing with the feel of him between your legs as you rode his thigh, your rhythm ascending from steady grind to desperate canter as sensation built and built. You found yourself pleading, losing rhythm as you jerked against Vox’s thigh, answering moans from Vox vibrating through your flesh as he suckled at you, your world narrowing to that scant handful of sensations. You cried out, feeling something inside you seize, and your eyes fluttered closed, your hips stilling.
“Vox,” you squeaked, uncertain.
“Heyy. Hey hey hey.” Vox lifted his face from your breasts, pulling your torso flush with his, his arms around you, his legs uncrossing. “I’ve got you.”
As before, his embrace was a comfort, and you found yourself pressing your body against his, your eyes squeezing shut. “There’s something inside me, it just twitched, it’s still-”
You felt Vox’s body tense against yours, and he tilted his screen to look at you, an error message flashing up that he hastily dismissed. “Sweetheart,” he said. “You, uh, you mean to tell me that you don’t know what an orgasm feels like?”
Your eyes snapped open, your core still throbbing. “That was an orgasm?”
“Well, uh, your heart rate spiked, and your pupils are dilated and your blood pressure is dropping now,” said Vox. “So yeah, seems likely.”
“I’ve never-” You sank against Vox, feeling weak.
“You’re making me feel like a real piece of shit, you know that?” Vox pressed his palm against your back, rubbing circles. “Your first orgasm and I didn’t even fuckin' kiss you first.”
“You could kiss me now,” you said, peering up at him, shy.
Vox gave a bark of laughter, a grin creeping back onto his face. “That a request, babydoll?”
His tongue in your mouth felt as good as you’d feared it might.
Click here to read the sequel
Hell 2 Pay
℣ Pairing: Vox X angelic!reader
℣ Summary: A naïve angel descends to Hell looking for Vagina. Finds Vox instead.
℣ Content notes: Voyeurism, first time for everything, explicit sexual content,use of a vibrator, guided masturbation, loss of virginity, creampie, Vox being Vox, pet names: mostly sweetheart, babydoll and baby, reader is a girl, reader has a pussy, reader has a name and it's a fucking stupid one.
A sequel to Heaven Spent
Taglist
@it-gal888 @jurijyuu @bishiglomper @brunette-bet @bapple117
@diffidentphantom @leonotlara @redvexillum @nyx-umbrakinesis
“You sure it’s okay for me to come to this with you?” you asked, quietly, as you walked out to the limo, holding Vox’s arm.
“Baby, everyone who is anyone is going to this party.” Vox gestured wide with his talons, an arc of electricity between his fingers. “I hear even Lucifer himself is on the guest list. If this friend of yours is still down here, and she’s as powerful as you say she is, she’ll be there.”
In the days since you’d met Vox, you’d come no closer to finding Vagina, though not through lack of trying. You’d searched every database Vox had access to for her name, scoured security feeds and drone footage from across the city looking for a glimpse of her aquiline nose. You’d searched until your eyes watered, until Vox came round to your console each evening and told you it was time to stop for the night. To sleep.
Half the time you found yourself passing out against him in the elevator on the way to the penthouse, waking up in his arms as he carried you to bed. It was embarrassing to admit how much you liked the sensation- the fact that he lifted you almost effortlessly, strong arms cradling you against his chest. A kiss goodnight was as much as you managed to give him, though he didn’t press for more, his tired voice a gentle rasp against your ear as he told you to rest up for the cameras the next day.
In exchange, you’d taken the job as spokesperson for Angelic Security, and spent your days in fitting rooms and in front of cameras, chirping out your lines with as much enthusiasm as you could muster.
You thought you’d hit a dead end, until Vox had arrived on set one afternoon with a change of costume for you; an off-the shoulder floor length pleated gown with an empire waist, and a hair ornament that made your breath catch when you looked at it, beads of glossy pink glass, shaped like pomegranate seeds, spilled in a cluster and connected by fine gold thread. The extravagance of it had made you nervous, but when Vox showed you your reflection in the mirror, you’d had to cover your mouth to stop yourself squealing with delight. You looked important and refined. Like a princess. And the look Vox gave you told you he thought so too.
You bit your lip. “I don’t want to embarrass you.”
“And why would I be embarrassed to have a beautiful girl like you on my arm, huh?” Vox’s talons squeezed gently around your shoulder, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks.
Vox’s business partner and roommate Valentino got into the limousine first, stooping to get into the spacious cabin inside, followed by his date, a pale pink spider demon who was only a little shorter than he was. Both of them were dressed for the event; Valentino with a silk top-hat in the place of his usual hat, and the spider demon in a tailored satin-lined jacket that hung open at the chest, no shirt or waistcoat underneath.
“This party better have an open bar, that’s all I’m saying-” the spider demon paused to look up as you climbed into the limo after him. “Who’s the skirt?”
“Angel Dust, this is Angelic Security’s newest spokesperson and my date, Ari. Ari, this is Angel Dust, Val’s-” Vox squinted, a glance at the big moth. “-most valued employee.”
“Oh.” Your grip on Vox’s arm tightened as you stared at Angel Dust. His soft pink fur didn’t make him look demonic, certainly. “Are you really an angel?”
“That depends who ya ask, toots.” Angel winked lasciviously.
“A lot of people have seen his pearly gates, that’s for sure.” Valentino wrapped a possessive arm around Angel, his long fingers sinking into the chest fluff that peeked from Angel’s half-open jacket. “But rest assured my cariño here is just as soaked in sin as the rest of us. Other things, too.” Valentino grinned, flashing a gold tooth, and you watched as Angel’s smile dropped fractionally.
“Alright, alright, save it for the afterparty, jeez.” Vox waved the air in front of him, opening a chilled compartment in the table between the four of you and pulling out a tray of drinks in a puff of condensation.
“Oh, thank fuck. My thirty four inch hero.” Angel reached out with two of his arms, took a glass in each, and dumped them unceremoniously into his open mouth. Vox and Valentino exchanged a look.
“I’d better not have to send anyone to scrape him off the floor this time,” groused Vox, his mouth sliding to the bottom corner of his screen as he watched Angel down another drink.
Valentino laughed. “He’ll be good tonight. Won’t you, cariño?” Valentino’s fingers slid up Angel’s neck, tilting his head to force eye contact.
Angel rolled his eyes. “Yes, daddy.”
Vox held open the door of the limo to let his other business partner, Velvette, in as she arrived. “No plus one tonight?”
“I’m meeting someone there.” Velvette ducked under Vox’s arm and climbed into her seat, phone in the palm of one hand as she grabbed a flute of champagne from the tray and took a sip, making a face. “One of my all-time least favourite people just died.”
“Ohh?” Valentino looked at her over the rims of his heart-shaped glasses. “That fashion editor bitch you hate?”
“That’s the one.” Velvette grinned at him. “I said I’d give her a job if she let me piss in her mouth.”
Vox snorted, pulling the door shut. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Of course I’m fucking kidding,” Velvette’s gaze went back to her phone. “I’m not giving her a job.”
You snuggled up to Vox’s side as the limo wound its way through Pentagram’s streets. Little by little, you were starting to suspect that Vox’s associates were not nice people.
You were afraid that the five of you would be overdressed until you actually arrived at the party, helped out of the limousine by stately-looking demons, and ascended the steps to the venue. Everyone there looked majestic, in white tie or glittering gowns, tall bird-headed demons mingling with a practical menagerie of others. You found yourself clinging tight to Vox’s arm, and were gratified to feel him shift his grip, his claws sliding down your back to your hip, pulling you against him. The quiet thrum of his body was a comfort, and you grounded yourself with it.
“You gonna be okay?” he asked, his voice a murmur in your ear as the attendants at the door checked his invite and waved the two of you through, Valentino and Angel behind you.
You nodded, though in truth you were still a little intimidated. A bird-headed demon thrumming with power floated past you, accompanied by a pair of hellhounds. “It’s just… sparkly, that’s all.”
“Me and Val are gonna mingle, so take your time looking around. I’ll be right here if you need me. And-” Vox sighed, straightening the lapel of his jacket, the pocket square he wore deep pink to match your hair ornament. “-this should go without saying, but you’re here on my invite, so I’m responsible for your actions. Try not to get yourself in trouble, okay?”
“I won’t.” You looked down, your face hot, your fingers squeezing Vox’s upper arm. “I-” you swallowed, gathering your courage, before raising your head, and planting a single kiss on the edge of his screen. “Thank you, Vox. For everything.”
Vox gave you a look that was meant to be suave. “Anytime, babydoll.”
“So, uh, what are you looking for, exactly?” Angel swayed after you with a backwards glance at Valentino and Vox, and you stopped to let him catch up. “Seems like you’re pretty bent outta shape about it.”
“Vagina,” you answered, your voice soft as you scanned the room from your vantage by the canapé table, dazzled by the reflected light of diamonds and rubies round the throats of the female attendees as you looked for her face. The grey skin, like yours, the aquiline nose, the short white hair. You looked and saw nothing, an ache in your heart.
Angel grinned crookedly. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t help ya much there. Any particular type of vagina or are you not picky? Cuz I do know some people.”
“No.” You shook your head, frustrated. “Vagina is my friend.”
“If you say so.” Angel sighed, grabbing a drink from a passing attendant. “I’m more of a penis man myself, but if I meet any vaginas I’ll send em your way. Later, toots.”
And just like that, you were alone in the crowd, still looking for Vagina's familiar face.
You saw her, across the room, a glimpse through the crowd that had you moving closer to check that you weren’t hallucinating. Her hair was longer than you remembered, a large red satin bow at the back, and she was missing an eye, but you would know that face anywhere. Hope crested in your chest. She was here. She was alive. You could go back. You could take her hand and go back to Heaven and things would go back just the way they were.
“Vagina!” Unable to wait a second longer, you rushed towards her, calling her name, dodging a waiter and a stuffy-looking pair of owl demons.
“Hey!” A hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks and you looked up to see a tall blonde girl in a ruby-colored tuxedo, frowning as she looked down at you. “Excuse me! That’s my girlfriend you’re talking to there, you can’t just-”
“Charlie.” Vagina joined you, a soft touch on the tall girl’s arm. “It’s okay. I know her. Can you give us a minute?”
“Oh.” Charlie gave a small smile, looking between you and Vagina. “You know her. Of course you know her! Okay. I’ll just… give you guys some space.”
“Vagina!” Your mouth felt dry, tears beading in the corners of your eyes as Vagina steered you behind a pillar in an unpopulated corner of the ballroom. “Oh thank goodness. You’re safe! Your eye-” you reached out. What had happened to her?
“Stop calling me that.” Vagina pushed your hand away with a scowl. “It’s Vaggie now.”
“Sorry.” You drew away, your back against the pillar. “But it’s okay! I’m here now!”
“Look.” Vagina, or rather Vaggie, sighed, her one remaining eye closing. “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but you should go. It’s dangerous here.”
What? The world seemed to stop around you as you stared at her. Of course- she didn’t want to put you in danger. You straightened your back, pulling yourself to your full height, feet a little wobbly in the high-heeled shoes Vox had given you. “I’m an exorcist, just like you.”
“Areola…” Vaggie scrunched her nose. “You’re a janitor. You clean the showers. The only weapon you know is mop.”
You persevered, an ache in the back of your throat. “I came to save you.” That had to count for something, didn’t it? You had come all the way down from Heaven, malformed wings or no, you had risked your life, your immortal soul against the forces of Hell, for Vaggie. She had to be able to see that.
Your statement seemed to have the opposite effect to what you intended, Vaggie’s expression darkening. “Why? I never asked for your help. And I know for sure Lute didn’t send you.”
“Because you’re my best friend.” My only friend, you thought, your bottom lip quivering. “That… that counts for something, right?”
“Oh, for crying out-” Vaggie buried her face in one hand, giving a deep sigh before she looked up at you again. “Let’s set the record straight here. We weren’t friends. We were coworkers.”
You stared, unable to speak, every word out of Vaggie’s mouth like a knife to your chest. All the times you had brought out iced drinks to her when she’d been training, all those times she’d listened to you talk about your day. That had been friendship, hadn’t it? Real friendship? Your hands shook. “But-” you managed to squeak out, feeling like you were falling, as if the floor of the ballroom was dropping deep beneath you.
Vaggie’s gaze went past you, to the milling crowd of dancers, and the tall girl in red. “I don’t need to be saved,” she said. “Go home, Areola.”
It was all you could do not to burst into tears as you watched Vaggie's retreating back, a lump in your throat as she walked away from you, red ribbon bright in her white hair.
“Everything okay?” Vox seemed to sense something was up when you rejoined him, pulling you close, his voice low.
Silently, you shook your head, tears hot and painful in the corners of your eyes. You knew that if you said too much you’d be bawling right in the middle of the dance floor. “Take me home?”
Vox paused a second, watching you, then nodded, slowly. “Car’s on the way. I’ll give the others a call on the way back.”
In the privacy of the limo, you buried your face against Vox's chest, gratitude welling in you as your throat tightened. “I’m sorry, I… I know you had things you wanted to do tonight, I don’t want to be a burden.” You rambled, swallowing a sob.
“Val and Velv will do just fine pissing on people without me,” said Vox, his tone wry.
“Are you my friend, Vox?” you hiccuped, leaning into his chest. “Do you even like me?”
“What kinda dumbass question is that?” Vox’s arm tightened around you. “Someone said I wasn’t your friend?”
“N-no. I just-” your bottom lip trembled. “I found her.” You felt your voice crack. “She said- she said she wasn’t my friend. She said she’d never-” a small sob escaped your lips, and you felt like you were falling again.
“Hey, babydoll.” Vox’s talons caught the underside of your jaw, tilting your head up to face him, until you were staring into his red eyes, the view made blurry by the tears in yours. “Hey,” he repeated, his voice dropping a half octave, and he kissed you, softly, lips brushing yours, fingertips up over your jaw, over your cheek. “You’re my girl. You’re mine. No-one in this city gets to make you doubt that, okay?”
“I’m sorry,” you murmured as you found yourself on top of him, your body clinging to his as if he were the only solid thing in the world.
“I know something that will definitely make you feel better.” Vox reached into a compartment under one of the seats and pulled out a small object; a tapered, bulbous cylinder in VoxTek silver, cyan light shining from its contours.
“What is that?”
“Personal massager. Top of the range. Fully submersible, adjustable frequency and torque. Self-warming, body-grade silicone sheathe.”
You glanced up at Vox’s face. This was more than empty commercial copy, a flash of pride in his eyes. “You… helped design it, didn’t you?”
Vox quirked an eyebrow. “If I say yes, will you let me use it on you?”
You felt your face heat. “W-when you say personal massager…”
“I figure a few good orgasms are just what you need right now,” said Vox, eyes half-lidded, grin toothy.
“A few!?” You felt the pulse at the apex of your legs as you remembered what just one had felt like, Vox’s leg between your thighs.
“Lay back, baby,” Vox practically purred. “Let me take care of you.”
You hesitated, a little. Letting this happen to you was clearly not a thing that a good and chaste angel should do.
But what had being a good girl ever got you? You had been good, every day of your life; you had worked hard, and abstained, and been modest and never complained. You’d put yourself in danger, for someone you had assumed was your friend. And what had you gained? Aside from Vaggie’s disdain, the Lieutenant’s disdain, the disdain of every angel who saw your malformed wings and assumed you had done something to deserve it? Maybe this was a part of the grand plan the higher angels were always talking about, paid for in full with your deformity.
Who would even be waiting for you, if you went back to Heaven? Maybe you were meant to fall from grace, here, in Hell, in the arms of the one person who seemed to actually like you.
You placed your hand over Vox’s, fingertips over his blue talons. “I’ve never…” you said.
“I know that, baby.” Vox’s other hand was at the hem of your gown, pulling it up over your calves, over your knees, the fabric a silky whisper against your skin. “All you have to do is lay there and hold your legs open nice and wide for me, let me take care of the rest. Trust me.”
“O-okay.” You closed your eyes, feeling Vox push your skirt up over your thighs, your back flush with his chest as he pulled you into the position he wanted.
“Knees apart, sweetheart,” Vox murmured into your ear, his voice sending a shiver through your core.
You choked back a sob as you parted your thighs for him; one leg slung over his thigh, the other half-bent on the leather seat under you.
“Don’t cry, pretty girl,” Vox rasped, talons tracing thin lines over your knee, your quad, your inner thigh. He trailed the vibrator along the same path, its surface warm as skin as it shivered against your flesh. “I’m gonna make you feel so good you forget everything else that happened tonight.”
You turned your head, pressing the side of your face against Vox’s shoulder, and squeezed your eyes closed as you felt his hands ascend to the apex of your thighs, fingertips teasing at the lacy edge of your panties.
“Hey now, don’t be shy. I can feel how wet you are for me already,” said Vox, his fingers continuing to move. As if to demonstrate his point, he pressed two fingertips to the gusset of your panties, pressing your sex through the fabric in a languid up-down motion, then lifted them to your mouth, brushing the wetness that had seeped through your panties onto your bottom lip.
You opened your mouth, letting Vox slip his fingers inside, and were rewarded with a low groan from Vox as he smeared your tongue with the taste of your own arousal, musky and slick. “My good girl,” he growled, his other hand pushing your panties to the side. “So fucking obedient.”
He teased the vibrator against your outer lips, its setting still a low shiver as he moved it, smearing the arousal that leaked from you up towards your mons and then back down again, his fingers in your mouth echoing the slow, deliberate action. You shifted, and Vox parted your sex with his fingers, the vibrator against your inner lips, then up over the hood of your clitoris. It felt good, better than something this sinful had any right to feel, and you moaned around Vox’s fingers.
“See, baby? Didn’t I tell you I would make it better?” Vox exuded smugness as he kept the vibrator moving, and even if he hadn’t had his fingers in your mouth you weren’t sure you could have formed a coherent response.
Tears slid hot down your cheeks, your mascara running as Vox slid the vibrator over your sex, the shiver it had started with becoming a low thrum as he increased the power. He murmured sweet nothings as he slid it over your inner lips, the barest touch on your clitoris like a beam of heavenly light that had you forgetting that you were in the back of a limo with your sex spread open on a man’s hand.
“Tell me you want it inside,” said Vox, voice low as he pulled his fingers from your mouth, his other hand guiding the vibrator down a little, the thrum of sensation round your entrance, teasing at untouched flesh.
“Vox,” you gasped, as each tilt of his hand brought an answering shiver from your body.
“I wanna hear it, babydoll,” coaxed Vox, his second hand on your inner thigh now, spreading you further apart. “Tell me to fuck you with the toy.”
You swallowed, the concentric circles he was drawing around your entrance at war with the mortification you felt at using such crude language. “P-penetrate me-” you managed, to a soft chuckle from Vox.
“You’re just about the cutest girl I’ve ever fucked, you know that sweetheart?” he said, as he dipped the narrower end of the vibrator into you, just the tip. The sensation made you catch your breath, the thrum of it fluttering against your nerves. “Here you are, wide open for me, my toy in your sweet little pussy-” as if to demonstrate the point, Vox pushed the vibrator in another half inch, then out again, drawing a lewd little whimper from your lips. “-and you can’t even say the word fuck.”
“S-sorry,” you stammered, screwing your eyes shut.
“Don’t be sorry, Ari.” Vox’s lips were in your hair, kissing the beads from your hair ornament aside as he rocked the vibrator in and out of you, his other hand at your sex now, index and ring finger either side of your clit. “You’re my sweet baby girl. All for me, aren’t you?”
“Vox,” you whined, tears threatening to form in your eyes again. “I’m yours.”
“All mine?”
“Y-yes,” you squeaked
“Tell me again. I take good care of my things, babydoll.”
“I’m yours,” you repeated for him. Yours, yours, all yours. And each time your reward was that soft affection, that sound of approval, Vox’s thumb stroking the sensitive nub of your clit, making you squeak, and cry out, all the while the vibrator penetrating you in a shallow rhythm, slipping easily in and out of the slickness of your core. It wasn’t as if anyone else wanted you anyway.
“You’re close,” Vox purred against your ear, and you could feel that he was right; the sensation of his thumb on your clit the most vivid thing in your mind, along with the thrum of the toy against your inner walls. It felt like you were floating, pleasure your only compass, as Vox’s touch urged you to your destination. “Gonna cum with my toy inside, aren’t you?”
You whimpered an affirmative as you crested the wave, your core pulsing, twitching around the intrusion of the toy as Vox’s thumb stilled on your clit, pressing down but not moving.
Vox slipped a finger inside you with a groan, the width of the digit along with the toy bringing with it another round of little quakes. “Cumming hard for me babydoll?”
You gave a mortified little whimper, and Vox’s thumb pressed hard on your clit again, the sensation bringing more aftershocks as you found yourself fluttering round the toy and Vox’s finger.
“Holy shit, you’re still going,” Vox muttered, something like excitement creeping into his voice. “Hope you’re planning on cumming on my dick that hard.”
“I’m not planning!” you protested, to Vox’s indulgent grin.
“Course you’re not, sweetheart.” Vox’s voice was low as he dragged the tip of the vibrator from your still-twitching hole and up over your clit, its setting the gentle shiver that it had started on.
It was both too much and not enough, a flame on nerves already afire, oversensitive and quivering. “Vox!” you cried, hand going to his wrist, and he lifted the toy from your flesh, leaving you aching with its absence.
“Too much?” he asked, a prideful edge to his voice.
“Y-yes,” you admitted, breath coming in fast little pants through your lips.
“You wanna try using it yourself?” Vox pressed the toy into the palm of your hand. “I can talk you through it.”
You nodded, hesitant, and Vox took your hand in his, guiding the toy in your hand back to your slick and quivering sex. “Don’t worry about the settings. I can control those for you. Just press the tip here.”
The toy quivered in your hand as you pressed its bulbous end against your engorged clitoris. A stroke had your eyes fluttering closed, breath catching in your throat as you felt sheer, unmitigated pleasure. You drew back, swallowing saliva before you ventured another touch, a whimper on your lips.
Vox pushed two fingers into you, not the teasing in-out he had done with the toy, but in deep and curling, pressing something sweet at the apex. You drew the toy against your clitoris again, more steadily this time, feeling your body pull taut, a soft, birdlike noise in your throat as Vox’s fingers bullied the tender spot inside you.
“You need a little more power, babydoll?” Vox asked, and you only had to nod for the vibration to intensify, each moment threatening at too much before you drew your hand back, gasping as his fingers squelched in and out of you. “You should hold it there, hold it down, so you can cum round my fingers. Yeah?”
“Y-yeah,” you agreed, voice small, bracing yourself for the sensation as you pressed the toy once more against sensitive flesh. The quiver of the toy built into a tremble, the bliss of its touch into something almost painful, and you found yourself biting your lip to not cry out. You couldn’t keep going; it was too much, too much-
“Keep going,” Vox murmured, a light pressure on the back of your hand. You nodded, keeping the quivering toy held against the most sensitive part of you, an insensate noise on your lips as every muscle in your body seemed to shake, your legs drawn wide as they would go, riding bliss upon bliss upon bliss.
“Attagirl,” growled Vox, plunging his fingers in deep, and you were hit by a climax you hadn’t known to expect, a noise from you that was neither dignified nor sexy as your body spasmed, curling in, your thighs closing round Vox’s hands. “Attagirl,” he repeated, as your walls fluttered round his fingers, the vibrator still purring against your overstimulated clit. “Be a good girl and cum again for me now.”
“T-too much,” you whimpered, the rumble of the toy against your nerves threatening to blot out all other sensation, all thought, all language. “Vox, I can’t-”
“You can,” he encouraged, his hand guiding yours, keeping your hand in place, keeping the vibrator in place as you whined and bucked your hips. “See, I’m a very good judge of character, and I wouldn’t give you anything you couldn’t handle. I think you’re a good girl, and you’re gonna cum round my fingers when I ask you.”
“Vox!” your voice was starting to feel hoarse from the moaning, and the curl of Vox’s fingers inside you made you scream. You were still twitching from the previous orgasm as Vox pulled you inexorably to the next one.
“Tell me I’m right. Tell me you’re my good girl,” Vox pushed.
“I’m-” you started but were unable to finish as you crested the wave, pleasure flooding you, leaving you twitching senselessly round Vox’s fingers again, your back arching, thighs squeezing, head back. Vox stole the rest of your words with a kiss, his strange lips against yours as he cupped your chin with a hand coated with your arousal.
Warmth welled in your chest as the kiss deepened, Vox’s tongue twining with yours, the toy stilling as it powered down in your hand. Vox drew his fingers from you, wiping the slick on your bare thigh.
“Doing better now?” Vox asked as you broke the kiss, the limo slowing as it pulled up to the Vee tower.
“Yes,” you admitted, looking down at your rumpled dress, the heeled sandals still on your feet, anywhere but Vox’s smile. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, babydoll,” said Vox, smug as you’d ever seen him. “Let’s say you and I continue this in my room, huh?”
Your legs felt like jelly, but it still surprised you when rather than help you up, Vox simply scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the private elevator that went straight to the penthouse suite, taking the time it took for the elevator to ascend to unlace and remove your shoes, along with Vox’s jacket and tie.
You stroked the sides of Vox’s wide screen as you kissed him, and he carried you unerringly up the small flight of stairs that led to the mezzanine of his living space and through his bedroom door. He spilled you forward, onto the bed, and you sat back, your hands behind you, looking up at him.
Vox was looking at you with unashamed, undisguised desire, two lines of red from the corner of his mouth as he crawled onto the bed after you, pulling your knees apart to kneel between them, your dress once more riding up over your thighs.
“Do you want me?” you asked, quietly, part of you afraid of the answer. “You’re not… you’re not just doing this to make me feel better, right?”
Vox caught your hand by the wrist and pulled it to the fly of his tuxedo pants. Your eyes widened at what you felt there; his erection, hot and stiff and straining at the fabric. “What do you think, babydoll?” He pulled your hand more firmly against his hard-on, rutting against your palm with a movement of his hips, another line of red from his mouth as he did so. “Because I think you should take that pretty dress off for me and let me fuck you into the pillows til you scream.”
“Y-yes, of course.” Gratitude flooded you, your hands going to the clasps of your dress. You found yourself fumbling with it, your fingers shaking as Vox watched.
You failed to undo the same clasp on your side three times before Vox intervened, leaning into your personal space, a gentle hand on yours. “Lemme get that for you, sweetheart,” he said, voice soft enough to set you blushing as he undid the clasp with ease, his fingers finding the zip and easing it slowly down your side.
“Thank you,” you murmured, your cheeks hot, then, because it felt right, “I love you.”
Vox paused, his fingers under the shoulder of your dress, and you felt doubt rise to the surface again.
You looked at him, biting your lip. “I’m sorry, was that too soon? Am I not meant to say that?”
Vox lowered his face to your shoulderblade as he pulled off the shoulder of the dress, screen against skin, kissing his way down your back. “You are three orgasms too far in to be worrying about shit like that,” he said, in a tone that reminded you exactly what each of those had felt like. “You can say whatever you like to me, babydoll.”
“And you won’t leave?”
You felt Vox chuckle, a soft exhalation of breath against your back as he shimmied your dress down over your hips, hooking his fingers through the sides of your panties and pulling them down with it. “Does this look like leaving to you?” he asked, and you gulped, feeling exposed as you were naked under him, a prickling over your skin that had nothing to do with the temperature. “Tell me you love me again. Tell me you’re mine.”
“I love you,” you said, your eyes fluttering closed as Vox maneuvered you onto your hands and knees, lifting your hips a little until the bulge of his erection pressed your ass. “I’m yours.”
“Holy fuck, you’re beautiful, Ari,” Vox’s voice was thick with arousal as one finger stroked your exposed labia, still dripping slick from your adventures in the limo. “You’re gonna let me fuck that beautiful little white feathered pussy of yours, aren’t you?”
“Mm.” You nodded, nose to the sheets.
“Say it for me, babydoll,” said Vox, voice low, his clothed erection still pressing against you.
“I’m gonna let you…” you paused, breathless, searching for a way to paraphrase Vox’s words. “…take me,” you finished lamely. It was ludicrous, really; what you were about to do was something much worse than swearing, and plenty of angels swore, but you couldn’t bring yourself to.
“Still not gonna swear, huh?” Vox’s hands were gentle over your hips, his voice more amused than annoyed.
Silently, you shook your head.
“That’s okay.” Vox gave your ass a reassuring squeeze. “Still gonna fuck you, though.”
You waited, your face pressed to the soft sheets, your sex presented to Vox, as he unzipped himself and lined himself up. The tip of his cock was warm, running hot like the rest of his body, unfamiliar but not unpleasant as he slid it between your outer lips, gathering slick. You whined as he stroked it against your clit, still oversensitive, and found yourself clutching the sheets between your fingers, your body tensing.
“Ari.” Vox curled himself over you, a kiss between your shoulderblades. “Relax for me, yeah?”
“S-sorry.” You squeezed your eyes shut again, and felt his hand cover yours.
“Don’t be sorry. Just trust me.” Vox’s glans slid over your clit again, back and forth, and you moaned into the sheets at the sensation. “You’re gonna feel so good on my cock, I promise.”
“I trust you,” you whimpered, and Vox lined himself up with your entrance again, the head of his cock teasing it just as the toy had. “That… that feels nice, Vox.”
“Good girl.” Vox pushed himself a little further into you. His cock was wider than the toy or his fingers had been, bringing with it a stretch that had you panting open mouthed into his bedsheets. Another inch and he was pressing the sweetness inside you that his fingers had found, drawing another whimper from you.
“Can you feel me?” he coaxed, pushing further in. “Can you feel me inside?”
His cock inside you was an ache that stirred your guts and left your eyelids fluttering closed, his big hands clasped over yours. I love you, I love you, I love you, lay heavy and sticky as treacle on your tongue as your face pressed into the high-threadcount cotton of his pillows. “It's big,” you murmured. You buried your face deeper in the pillows. “I’m yours.”
“All mine, babygirl,” Vox answered, pushing himself into you a little further, moving one hand onto your hip as leverage. “Fuck, you're doing so good. Taking me so well.”
His knees between your shins, your face to the sheets, you found yourself helpless to do anything but accept him in, soft chirps of pleasure escaping your lips as he stretched your insides to his form.
“Shit, you are incredible. Made for me.” Vox pulled out a little and thrust back in with a snap of his hips, his balls rocking against your clit as he bottomed out again. “You’re gonna look so pretty once you’re all fucked out and filled with my cum.”
You called his name as he pumped his cock into you, one hand reaching round to stroke at your engorged clit, each snap of his hips an obscene squelch, slick dripping down your trembling thighs, his cock both hitting divinity and burning with its stretch, the apex of each thrust leaving you deliciously, sinfully full.
“Be a good girl and cum for me now,” Vox ground out, fingers sliding a cruel back-and-forth across your oversensitive clit, the intensity of the sensation almost painful, making tears bead in your eyes. “Cum on my cock, babydoll, milk me dry.”
You didn’t have words anymore, only sensation as Vox worked you, his voice gentle and coaxing as his hips set a pace that had you crying out into the pillows, fingers on your clitoris first slick pressure and then light as he brought sparking blue energy to his fingertips, moving over your skin and alighting on nerves. You were giving soft cries into the bedding, your throat hoarse as Vox hit sweetness upon sweetness, your body aching with the intensity of it, a string pulled tight, tight, tight.
“You’re close,” Vox told you, words penetrating your brain somehow, his screen pressing close and static-y as his hips and hand kept the rhythm. “Gonna cum with you, okay?”
You nodded, no words, only a string pulled tight, tight, tight as you felt him swell inside you somehow, and a flash of hot, white bliss hit you, your body clenching around him as he pulsed inside you. He was filling you with his seed, a pulse of warmth inside you, and then another, and then another as your walls twitched tight around him.
“Fuck. Ari. So fucking good.” A groan escaped Vox that sounded not unlike a modem noise, his chest against your back, and the lights flickered off, plunging the both of you into darkness.
“Vox?” you asked, in a small, hoarse voice, the only light in the room the dim blue of his screen, his arms wrapping around your chest. His cock, mortifyingly, still inside you. You touched his arm, the back of his hand. “Vox?”
Vox gave an affirmative grunt. “Gimme a minute, sweetheart. Just took out the power in the block- shit.”
You swallowed, a vague feeling of guilt welling in your stomach. “Was it my fault?”
“It happens sometimes, babydoll. Don’t worry about it.” Vox pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Emergency power kicks in in another thirty seconds.”
“So you don’t need to go?”
“No, I don’t need to go.” Vox breathed out, a shuddering exhalation. “Baby, you made me cum so hard I caused a power cut. That means; a) I am not going anywhere in a hurry, so right now I can give you the care and adoration you deserve, and b) you can stop being so damn insecure about it. You got that?”
“I think so.” You found yourself smiling, almost despite yourself, as Vox pulled out of you, his seed dribbling out over your thighs, and rolled you over to face him, your face against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head, the beads in your hair ornament clacking as his lips nudged them. You were dirty now. Ruined. Willingly full of a demon’s seed. Heaven would never take someone like you back.
But Vox’s arms were around you in the low light as the emergency power came on, his screen casting strange shadows across the sheets. And he made you feel warm and happy and safe, in a way no-one in Heaven ever had. You were his. He took good care of his things. In his bed, basking in the afterglow of the orgasm you had shared, was the happiest you had ever been.
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Adam x Reader (Hazbin Hotel)
Warnings: Heavy cursing, lots of violence
Extermination day was never easy, nor fun. But you fought nonetheless. You would do anything to keep your friends and the hotel from being exterminated.
Today was a harder one than usual. You noticed they seemed to be sending more and more angels down every year, making it nearly impossible to hold your ground anymore. Maybe it was your hood and mask, or maybe it was all the attacks, but you were out of breath quicker than usual, too.
You were doing okay, until an angel came from behind, knocking one of your daggers out of your hand. Mind spinning, already nearing exhaustion, you turned and ran as fast as you could, fully aware the angel was gaining on you quickly.
You turned a sharp corner and dropped into the cellar doors of one of the shops nearby. You could hear the angel go past, holding your breath and waiting extra long, just to be safe.
After you finally catch your breath, you ran outside, ready to fight again, only to see a brilliant burst of light come crashing down on you. You barely managed to jump away, looking up for the source.
Horrified, you realize where it came from - Adam, the leader of the angels.
Of course he's the one who happens to find me.
You mentally curse your own luck before jumping again, avoiding more of his strikes. "What's with the fucking mask? You some kind of bimbo robinhood bitch?"
"What the fuck does that even mean?" You laugh, not even sure how to process the insult.
"Fuck you! That's what it means!" And more strikes. You jump again, seemingly irritating your attacker.
"Hold still, bitch!"
You laugh, and run into a nearby shopping center, running up the stairs to the second floor and hiding in a shop.
You had no weapons, aside from one small dagger, and honestly, that didn't look like it could do much against the literal leader of the angels.
"Where are you, slut?"
God, he's a real charmer, this one.
Slowly, you start to creep around the shop, trying to get a better peak, when suddenly, you take a wrong step, and the fragile, crumbling conrete gives way underneath you.
You let out a scream as you fall from the second floor, landing flat on your back in the shop beneath. You gasp for air, ripping the mask and hood off of your face.
Adam appears before you, his cocky grin suddenly faded. You tense your body, waiting for him to attack, but he does nothing. He stands there, staring at you.
"What's your fucking problem?" You ask, looking away, somehow unable to bear the sight of his gaze anymore.
He says nothing, instead walking slowly over to you. You scoot back as far as you can before your back hits the wall.
Looking up at Adam, you squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head away as he reaches down for you.
Suddenly, before you know it, you feel his arms lift you up. But before you even have time to process that, you're flying through the roof of the building and into the air.
Unable to speak, you gawk at the sights below you, flying at insane speeds in Adam's arms. He stops at a tall building, dropping you on the rooftop.
"It's almost over. Stay here until we leave, or you'll get killed."
Before you can even respond, he flies off into the distance.
"What the fuck?"
--
It took you a while to climb down the building, and even longer to walk back to the hotel. The asshole had really taken you far from the battle site.
You wearily walk up the steps of the hotel, swinging the door open and collapsing at the bar.
"And where the fuck have you been?" Husk asks, pouring you a drink.
"I don't even know dude." You slam your drink, and he pours you another one.
Another voice chimes in. "What do you mean, 'you don't know?' What happened?" Angel Dust now joins you at the bar.
Sighing, you explain what happened, also gaining the interest of Vaggie and Charlie.
"That's.. strange. I don't understand why he wouldn't just kill you. He's kind of notorious for that." Vaggie says, a confused look on her face.
"Maybe he felt bad?" Charlie says enthusiastically. Husk snorts at this. "Maybe not." She says more quietly.
"All I know is, I'm going the fuck to bed." You stand, slamming your last shot before heading up and turning in for the night.
--
What you thought was a random, strange occurence, ending up turning into a yearly routine.
Every single year, the angels would come down for extermination, lead by Adam. And every year, he began to seek you out, snatching you off the streets and dropping you on the top of a random building.
Every time, you fought, kicked, and screamed. You demanded, yelled, cursed. But still you recieved no answers, only "rescues" you weren't asking for.
This year would be different, you decided. You were going to fight him back, and demand to know why the fuck he kept doing this. It didn't make any sense, and you deserved answers.
You had a plan. All you had to do was stand in the open, and wait.
Sure enough, Adam came flying down. You could see his eyes sweep the crowd, before landing directly on you. In the midst of the chaos, body else ever notices him swoop down and grab you.
You played it up like you always do, yelling at him to let you go. He did the same as always - ignored you.
As he neared the top of the building, you suddenly grabbed onto his wing and bent it as hard as you could, earning a loud CRACK.
"FUCK! What the FUCK!" Adam shrieks in pain, dropping you onto the rooftop and collapsing alongside you.
You grab daggers out from under your shirt, and begin wildly slashing. Despite his wound, he recovers quickly, fighting you off.
But he's not going anywhere with that broken wing.
The both of you jump backwards. "Adam. Tell me what you're doing. No more games!" You scream.
"You broke my fucking wing, you bitch!" He yells back.
"ADAM! No more games!"
You lunge at him again, tackling him to the ground, stomping the heel of your shoe down into the broken wing. He screams, but holds tightly onto both of your wrists, keeping your daggers away from his face.
"Just tell m-"
You're suddenly cut off by a sharp pain in your chest. You gasp for air, looking down and seeing the tip of a blade poking out through your shirt.
Through your chest.
"NO!" Adam screams out, cradling you as you slump off of him, now the one on the ground.
Behind you, Lute stands looking confused, holding onto her bloody blade.
"LUTE! What the fuck?"
"Sir, I thought -"
"FUCK!" Adam screams, holding onto you.
You simply smile, aware of the life draining away from you.
Before you die, all you can manage to say is,
"At least the game is finally over."
--
All you hear is a loud POOF! and suddenly, you're awake, standing, and feel no more pain.
Standing before you, angels. Surrounding you, more angels. White, white everywhere.
You look down and see yourself in elegant white clothing.
"What the FUCK?"
"Welcome to Heaven!"
--
Want a part 2? Let me know <3
Chained
A look on different anecdotes involving your developing relationship with Adam.
(College AU)
Everyone on campus knew Adam, and everyone knew about his necklace. It was a constant presence around his neck, an accessory as essential to him as the air he breathed. Legends whispered that he once ended a relationship because his girlfriend dared suggest he remove it. Some said it was a matter of principle for him, a line he wouldn't let anyone cross.
Personally, you believed he broke up with her because of the fact that he caught her cheating on him with some blond twink… but to each their own. Gossip was a staple of campus life, and stories had a way of morphing over time.
The necklace itself was a curious thing. One of his guitar picks, golden and shimmering like a tiny beacon of light. The chain, sleek and black, provided a stark contrast against the metallic glow. You, being Adam's science lab partner, had spent enough time around him to notice its significance. Yet, despite your proximity, you couldn't understand why it held such importance for him. But then again, you weren't exactly eager to strike up a conversation with him to find out.
Adam was, for lack of a better word, a dick. He had a way of rubbing people the wrong way, and you had little interest in getting on his bad side. But despite his less-than-endearing personality traits, you prided yourself on being a decent person. So, when you noticed his necklace lying abandoned on his desk with Adam nowhere to be seen, a sense of obligation stirred within you.
As you carefully lift the necklace, the broken chain confirms your suspicions. Adam's infamous temper must have flared, leading to an outburst that resulted in the necklace being flung aside in frustration. It's a familiar scenario, one that you've witnessed in passing before.
Yet, despite your less-than-favorable opinion of Adam, or at least the opinion you try to convince yourself of, the image of his meltdown tugs at your heartstrings. Beneath his prickly exterior lies a person with vulnerabilities and struggles, just like anyone else. And in this moment, imagining him upset over this piece of jewelry stirs a surprising wave of empathy within you. Your thumb glides over the smooth surface of the guitar pick, the golden hue catching the light in a mesmerizing display.
But now comes the dilemma: do you intervene, stepping beyond the boundaries of your relationship with Adam, or do you respect his privacy and simply return the necklace back to the desk without delving deeper into the situation like a normal person would?
—
You winded up going through with it.
And what is “it”, you may ask?
Well, repairing Adam’s necklace, of course. It might not have been the most conventional move, but you've never been one to follow the crowd. Some might call it foolish, but you prefer to think of it as being true to yourself, even if that means taking idiotic risks.
Sure, you and Adam have your differences. Okay, maybe more than just differences. You practically exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. He likes to piss you off by making crude comments catered towards your body, and you like to piss him off by threatening to spill chemicals down his shitty band t-shirts. Your dynamic is more like oil and water than anything resembling friendship.
But beneath the surface, there's a tension—a spark of something that neither of you quite understands. Maybe it's the adrenaline of sparring with someone who matches your wit, or maybe it's something deeper, something you're not quite ready to acknowledge.
And maybe, just maybe, you've entertained the thought that fixing his necklace could be your way of extending an olive branch. A peace offering in the form of a repaired chain, a silent plea for a truce between two sworn enemies. Or maybe, if you dare to entertain the idea, it could be your ticket to something more—a chance to explore the uncharted territory of a potential romance.
Of course, you're not naive. You're well aware that your fantasies might be nothing more than wishful thinking. Adam might not even appreciate the gesture, let alone reciprocate your feelings. But hey, a little delusion never hurt anyone, right? And who knows, maybe—just maybe—there's a glimmer of hope buried beneath all the snark and sarcasm.
Relief washed over you when your crafty friend finally returned with the fixed necklace. It had taken a few days, but their skillful hands had worked wonders, restoring Adam's prized possession to its former glory.
As your friend handed over the repaired necklace, you couldn't help but feel a pang of gratitude mixed with embarrassment. Their knowing look spoke volumes, and you quickly averted your eyes, feeling your cheeks flush with heat. It was as if they could see right through you, understanding the significance of this seemingly simple gesture.
"Thanks," you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady despite the rush of emotions. "I owe you one. Seriously."
Your friend just smiled, a knowing glint in their eyes, before waving off your gratitude. "No need to thank me. Just make sure you-know-who appreciates the effort, okay?"
You nodded, swallowing hard as you pocketed the repaired necklace. With a silent promise to repay your friend's kindness, you made your way out of their workshop, the repaired necklace burning a hole in your pocket. Now all that was left was to track down Adam and deliver it to him, a task that suddenly felt much more daunting than you had anticipated. But you were determined to see it through, come hell or high water. After all, you had come this far. There was no turning back now.
As you approached the Music Hall, you couldn't shake off the sense of anticipation that tingles through your veins. Each step brought you closer to Adam, to the moment when you would finally hand over his repaired necklace and, perhaps, put an end to the tension that had simmered between you for far too long.
The familiar sight of the Music Hall greeted you as you pushed open the door, the air thick with the scent of wood polish and old instruments. You nodded in greeting to a passing friend, their smile barely registering as you focused on the task at hand.
With determined steps, you made your way down the narrow hallway towards the practice rooms, your ears straining for any sign of Adam's presence. But to your surprise, the practice rooms appeared deserted, the usually bustling space eerily quiet.
Frowning in confusion, you peered into each room as you passed, your heart sinking with each empty space you encountered. Where could Adam be? Had you missed him somehow, or had he found some secluded spot to escape the chaos of campus life?
Just as you were about to give up hope, a faint sound caught your attention—a soft melody drifting from one of the rooms at the end of the hallway. With renewed determination, you quickened your pace, following the sound until you reached the door of the practice room.
Peeking in, you were greeted by the sight of Adam, alone in the dimly lit space, his guitar cradled in his arms as he strummed gently. The absence of an amp gave his music an intimate quality, as if you were witnessing a private moment meant for his ears alone.
For a moment, you hesitated, struck by the vulnerability in Adam's posture, the way his eyes were closed in concentration and his lips moved silently with the lyrics. It was a rare glimpse into a side of him you had never seen before, a reminder that beneath the tough exterior lay a regular person.
Adam's eyes snapped open at the sound of your knock, the irritation evident in his furrowed brow. With a few muttered curses, he carefully leaned his guitar against the wall before wrenching the door open.
The moment the door swung open, you were met with a wave of his frustration, the tension in the air almost palpable. His scowl deepened as he glared at you, clearly not in the mood for any interruptions.
“No I’m not doing that stupid fucking evaluation. Mrs. Farring can suck it if she thinks I will. Fuck off—“
“That’s not why I’m here.” Your hands raised in a placating manner, a silent plea for him to lower his guard.Your voice was steady despite the rising tension. Adam's temper was like a simmering pot threatening to boil over, and you desperately hoped to prevent it from spilling into a full-blown confrontation.
At your words, he doesn’t seem to calm down though. “Then again, fuck off. Get the fuck out. Adios, sayonara, goodbye. Now leave!”
“Adam, chill out—“
“Chill out??” Adam bristled at your words. “I’m gonna bite off your fucking nipple if you think I’m gonna just roll over for you, you fucking bitch. I am not some kind of fucking dog or pug or fucking whatever else.”
Despite Adam's continued hostility, you refused to let his insults affect you. With a roll of your eyes, you brushed off his aggression, determined to stay focused on the task at hand.
You reached into your pocket and retrieved the repaired necklace, holding it out to him with a flourished gesture. His eyebrow raised in skepticism, but he extended his hand nonetheless, allowing you to drop the jewelry into his waiting palm.
The necklace landed with a soft clatter, the sound echoing in the tense silence that hung between you. Adam hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering between you and the necklace in his hand. It was clear that he was surprised by your gesture, his guard momentarily lowered by the unexpected act of kindness.
“What the fuck is this?”
You blinked at Adam's sudden change in demeanor, his aggression giving way to bewilderment. His reaction caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but furrow your brows in response.
"Wait, what do you mean?" you asked, your confusion evident in your voice. You really hope you didn’t fuck upl. "Isn't this your necklace?"
Adam's lip curled in a snarl as he scrutinized the jewelry in his hand, his intense gaze never leaving the gleaming surface of the necklace. "No, no it is," he admitted, his tone begrudgingly acknowledging the truth. "It's just... not broken."
“Yeah, there’s a thing called ‘fixing it’”
He stares at you, his expression suddenly unreadable. This was unusual, as Adam was an open book. That, and he had two default emotions: angry, and horny. There’s this weird vulnerability in his eyes and it’s freaking you out.
“You fixed my necklace.” It’s not a question, but you nod anyway. “Why?”
“It was broken.”
His expression flattens out, and that familiar temper starts making itself known. “Yeah no fucking shit, dipshit. Why did you fix it.”
“Because…” you rack your brain for an answer, but come up empty handed. “I don’t know. I just know it meant a lot to you.”
“So you paid to get it repaired?”
“My friend did it actually, free of charge. I didn’t trust anyone else to touch it.”
You shifted on your feet, the sensation of nervousness coursing through your veins like a jolt of electricity. There was something in the air, something intangible yet undeniable, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were standing on the edge of a precipice, teetering on the brink of something unknown.
As Adam's gaze remained fixed on the necklace in his hand, his thumb tracing over the golden guitar pick with a touch of reverence, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy. The image of his fingers caressing the smooth surface of the pendant sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a desire that you quickly pushed away.
You berated yourself for the dirty thought, for the forbidden longing that stirred within you.
“Can you…” he continued looking at his necklace. “Can you help me put it on?”
Your eyebrows raise in surprise, but you refuse to let the opportunity pass. “Of course.”
With a hesitance you haven’t seen from him, he hands the necklace to you and turns around. Without a word, you took the necklace from his outstretched hand, the metal cool against your skin as you held it delicately in your palm. With a gentle touch, you reached up and brushed the short ends of hair out of the way, your fingers lingering against his skin for a moment longer than necessary. The sensation of your touch sent a shiver down his spine, a reaction that mirrored the fluttering in your own chest.
Ah. So he feels this…thing… in the air, too.
As you placed the necklace around Adam's neck and clasped it together, a sense of relief washed over you. The tension that had lingered between you seemed to dissipate with the final click of the clasp, replaced by a fleeting moment of connection that left you both feeling strangely vulnerable.
But as grateful as you were that the necklace didn't somehow break on you, creating an awkward situation, you knew that it was time to create some distance again. With a reluctant heart, you took a few steps back, putting space between you and Adam once more.
He waits a second before turning back around, his hands coming up to fiddle with the necklace. It looks like he’s about to say something, but you beat him to the punch. “I think I should get going.”
He thins his mouth into a line before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah of course. I should… probably get back to my guitar.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you later.”
“Yep. See you.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Goodbye.”
With a final glance back into the practice room, you watched as Adam remained fixated on his necklace, his expression a mixture of contemplation and fascination. Despite his earlier insistence on getting back to his instrument, he seemed unable to tear his gaze away from the gleaming pendant hanging around his neck.
A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you observed him from afar, a strange sense of fondness settling over you.
What a weirdo.
—
As Adam slid into the seat next to you in science class, you couldn't help but notice the absence of his usual crude remarks or inappropriate comments. Instead, he greeted you with a simple head nod before turning his attention to Mrs. Farring, the science professor.
It was a stark departure from his usual behavior, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something was different about him today. His focused demeanor, rare for someone who typically paid little attention to the lecture, raised a red flag in your mind.
Despite the nagging curiosity gnawing at you, you decided to follow Adam's lead and redirect your attention to Mrs. Farring, determined not to look a gift horse in the mouth. It was a small victory, perhaps, but a significant one nonetheless, and you were grateful for the respite from his usual antics.
The sight of Adam's subtle glances in your direction during class had left you feeling uneasy, a knot of worry forming in the pit of your stomach. You couldn't shake the feeling that maybe you had overstepped your boundaries by fixing his necklace, fearing that he might see your actions as intrusive or unwelcome.
Lost in your own thoughts, you were jolted back to reality when a torn piece of paper suddenly slid your way. Startled, you looked down at the note, your heart racing as you unfolded it to reveal a single word written in Adam's handwriting:
"Thanks."
With a smile tugging at the corners of your lips, you glanced up at Adam, who was pointedly avoiding your gaze, his attention focused elsewhere in the classroom. Despite his attempts to appear indifferent, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth at the sight, knowing that your gesture had not gone unnoticed.
Determined to ease any lingering tension between you, you reached for your own pen and quickly scribbled a response on the torn piece of paper before sliding it back across the table to Adam.
"What kind of lab partner would I be if I didn't help?"
He quickly writes back.
“A normal one. But I’m glad you’re not.”
The unexpected response from Adam caught you off guard, and a warmth spread through your chest at his words, even if they were somewhat cryptic. His acknowledgment, though brief, felt like a small victory.
Before you could formulate a response, Adam swiftly took the paper, crumpled it, and tossed it into his bag with a nonchalant gesture.
—
"So, what's the deal with the necklace?"
Adam glares at you, his eyes narrowing with a mix of irritation and something else you can't quite place. For a moment, you think he might actually respond, but instead, he diverts his attention back to the paper packet in front of him. He brushes off your question with a dismissive wave of his hand, the same hand that now holds a pencil, poised above the page.
The room is silent except for the faint scratch of pencil on paper as Adam writes down an answer. You watch him closely, noticing the slight furrow in his brow, the way his jaw clenches in concentration. He pauses, eyes scanning what he's written, then sighs and erases it. The tapping of the pencil against the desk becomes a rhythmic punctuation to his thoughts.
You inch closer to Adam, closing the gap between your desks with a mischievous glint in your eye. With calculated precision, you deliver a well-aimed elbow jab to his ribs, a playful gesture that's become something of a tradition between the two of you.
"Ow!" Adam hisses through clenched teeth, his hand instinctively moving to the spot where you struck him. He shoots you a reproachful glare, but there's a flicker of amusement in his eyes despite the pain. "Bro. For once, I’m actually trying to do the work. Be grateful, you dickhole.”
You elbow him again.
“What?” Adam hisses through clenched teeth, shooting you a warning glance to keep your antics in check. The library is hushed around you, filled with the soft rustle of pages turning and the occasional whisper of students studying in pairs. You can tell he's trying to maintain a semblance of composure, not wanting to draw the attention of the librarian who patrols the aisles like a hawk.
You were honestly surprised when Adam had suggested meeting at the library. It wasn't his usual haunt for studying, and his sudden change in venue piqued your curiosity. But what surprised you even more was his demeanor lately. He seemed... different.
Adam had been nicer, more accommodating, and surprisingly patient, especially when it came to working together on the science project. He'd even offered to help you with some of the more challenging aspects, something you never would've expected from him before.
It wasn't just his actions that had changed; his words had softened too. He was being friendlier, more open in his conversations, and there was a noticeable lack of his usual snark and sarcasm. It was as if a switch had been flipped, transforming him from the brash, abrasive guy you'd come to expect into someone... well, someone you could actually tolerate spending time wit
“Answer my question.” you whisper back, raising your arm in threat to elbow him once more. His eye twitches, yet he makes no move to brush you off. Instead, he deeply sighs.
“It was a gift from my dad. Happy?” He mutters, rounding his attention back to the paper packet.
“Aw, that’s cute.”
He writes something down, applying more pressure than necessary. “Shut the fuck up.”
you notice a subtle twitch in Adam's lip, almost a smile yet not quite, a tiny crack in his carefully composed facade. It's a small victory, but it fills you with a sense of satisfaction to know that you've managed to elicit a reaction from him. Grinning mischievously, you lean in closer, your fingers gently curling around the piece of jewelry that hangs from his neck. “Is this your dad’s pick?”
He takes a moment to reply. That makes you tilt your head to see his face– and woah. You’re a whole lot closer than you realized. For a second, you’re breathing in the same air. Adam's eyes dip down for a moment, his gaze lingering on your lips before darting back up to meet your gaze. It's a subtle movement, almost imperceptible, but it sends a shiver down your spine nonetheless.
Adam nervously clears his throat, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he also realizes your proximity. You take the hint and slowly retract your hand, letting it fall back to your side as you give him some space.
"Uh, yeah," he begins, his voice barely above a whisper, "He actually introduced me to guitar." His admission catches you off guard, and you can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. There's a vulnerability in his voice that you've rarely heard before, a rawness that tugs at your heartstrings.
As he continues, his words come out in a rush, as if he's been holding them back for far too long. "He knew he was getting sick. And this was the last gift before he passed."
The small bit of guilt settles in your chest, weighing heavy with the realization that your earlier teasing might have crossed a line. "I'm sorry," you murmur softly, the words tinged with sincerity as you meet Adam's gaze.
"Why?" He tilts his head, genuinely bewildered by your apology. "You helped me fix it," he adds, his tone laced with a hint of gratitude. For a moment, you see a flicker of something in his eyes—perhaps surprise, or maybe even warmth. He starts to reach for your hands before seeming to think better of it, opting instead to cough into his fist, a subtle yet telling gesture of restraint.
Adam's voice is soft, almost hesitant, as if the words he's about to speak are unfamiliar territory for him. "I know I don’t say it much– or at all, really. But uh." He pauses, his gaze fixed on some point in the distance, avoiding direct eye contact. "Thank you. For uh, bringing my dad back to me."
His vulnerability catches you off guard, and for a moment, you're rendered speechless. It's a rare glimpse into the deeper layers of Adam's character, a side he rarely reveals to others. Despite the gruff exterior he often presents to the world, here he is, opening up in a way that feels almost fragile.
Without a word, you reach out and place your hand on top of his, offering a silent reassurance.
–
As you made your way through the chaotic college party, dodging drunken revelers and avoiding the various unsavory activities unfolding around you, you couldn't help but feel a growing sense of discomfort. College parties had never been your scene, and tonight was proving to be no exception.
After witnessing one too many couples engaging in …public displays of affection… on the poor owner's couch, you decided that you'd had enough. Chugging down the rest of your water, you made a beeline for the stairs, desperate for some peace and quiet away from the chaos below.
Your search for solace led you to try several doors along the upstairs hallway, hoping to find an unoccupied room where you could take a much-needed break. It took three tries before you finally stumbled upon the master bedroom, and as you hesitantly cracked the door open, you were surprised to find only one person inside.
Adam.
He had brought his guitar with him— which of course he had. At the sound of the door opening, he swung his head up and furrowed his brows.
“Get the fuck out.”
Ignoring his command, you pushed the door open further, revealing yourself to him. His furrowed brows relaxed slightly as he strained his neck to look past you, checking to see if anyone else was behind you. When he realized you were alone, a visible tension seemed to melt away from his shoulders.
“Sup, bitch. Trynna get some?”
As Adam reverted to his crude demeanor, you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. His sudden shift in behavior left you feeling taken aback, wondering why he had returned to his usual abrasive attitude after showing a glimpse of something different.
However, upon closer inspection, you noticed the insincerity in his smile, the falseness that lurked behind his facade of bravado. It was clear that his crude remarks were merely a defense mechanism, a way to mask his vulnerability and keep others at arm's length.
Deciding to trust your instincts, you chose to ignore Adam's crude remarks and instead focus on the bigger picture.
“What’re you playing?”
“What?” He asks, genuinely confused.
You gesture to his guitar. “What’re you playing?”
“Oh. Uh. Not really anything. Got any requests?”
You pretend to think. “Hot cross buns?”
He levels his expression, unimpressed. “Seriously?”
“No, I’m just fucking with you.” You smile. Somehow, that gets him to smile back. “You know ‘Mean To You’?”
He scrunches his nose, which is honestly a cute look. Mentally, you take a picture and save it for later to swoon over. “By that Brightman bitch?” He asks.
As Adam adjusted his finger placement on the frets and began to strum the song on his guitar, you found yourself instinctively humming along to the familiar melody as it flowed from the strings. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of embarrassment as Adam abruptly stopped playing, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that made you squirm slightly under his scrutiny. Had you been off-pitch? Were you intruding on his moment of solitude with your humming?
“What?” you asked, your voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty.
Adam hesitated for a moment, one hand instinctively moving to fiddle with his necklace as he averted his eyes, pretending to busy himself with tuning his guitar. "You can sing along, you know," he said finally, his tone softer than before. "Hearing words makes it easier to keep my place."
As Adam restarted the song and you joined in, your cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and surprise. You hadn't expected him to actually want to hear you sing, especially given his usual sensitivity when it came to music. But despite your initial reservations, you couldn't deny the thrill of the moment as your voice mingled with his guitar in a harmonious duet.
Your voice may have been a bit breathy and unsupported, lacking the polish of a trained singer, but Adam didn't seem to mind. In fact, as you sang, he closed his eyes and seemed to lose himself in the music, his fingers deftly moving across the frets of his guitar with practiced ease.
If you looked closely, you could see the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
As the final chord of the song reverberated through the room, Adam slowly opened his eyes and turned to look at you, his gaze locking with yours in a moment of shared understanding. And then, to your surprise, he smiled—a genuine, heartfelt smile that seemed to light up his face and soften the hard edges of his demeanor.
Caught off guard by the unexpected warmth in his expression, you couldn't help but return the smile, feeling a rush of butterflies fluttering in your stomach at the sight of the softness in his eyes.
As Adam's eyes flickered down to your mouth, a sudden heat ignited between you, his gaze turning intense and smoldering. You felt a shiver run down your spine as his eyelids drooped slightly, his desire unmistakable in the way he looked at you.
When his gaze returned to meet yours, you found yourself unable to tear your eyes away from him, the intensity of the moment leaving you breathless and wanting more. And then, in a rush of heat and anticipation, you felt yourselves leaning in towards each other, drawn together by an irresistible magnetic force.
The first touch of his lips against yours sent a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins, a surge of desire that threatened to consume you both. And as your lips moved together in a heated embrace, you couldn't help but lose yourself in the intoxicating sensation of his mouth against yours.
Adam was a damn good kisser, his lips moving with a practiced ease that left you gasping for air. It lasted only a few seconds before he pulled back, his teeth grazing your bottom lip before his tongue slipped into your mouth, igniting a firestorm of passion between you.
As your hands slid up Adam's biceps, tracing the contours of his strong muscles, you couldn't help but admire the power and strength that lay beneath his rough exterior. And when you felt him flex in response to your touch, a small laugh escaped your lips, the sound muffled by the heat of the kiss.
But any amusement you felt was quickly replaced by a surge of desire as Adam playfully sucked on your tongue, sending a shiver of pleasure coursing through you. His lips were hot against yours, his tongue teasing and tantalizing in a way that left you breathless and wanting more.
Your hands continued their exploration, moving up his arms and over his shoulders, applying gentle pressure before wrapping around his neck. One hand toyed with the short ends of his hair, eliciting a low groan from him as he pressed you back into the mattress with a hungry urgency.
As Adam peeled himself off of you, his arms still supporting his weight as he hovered over you, you couldn't help but notice the way his necklace caught the light, shimmering and reflecting the soft glow of the bedroom.
Wrapping your hand around his necklace, you gently tugged on it, using the delicate chain to pull him back down towards you.
–
One second, you were immersed in the quiet ambiance of the library, the scent of old books and faint whispers surrounding you as you poured over your final exam notes. The next, darkness enveloped your vision, a warm, steady pressure pressing against your eyes. Instinctively, your hand shot up to remove whatever it was that had obscured your sight, only to encounter something oddly clammy.
"Guess who?"
“Adam,” you frown, bringing your hands to cup over his own. “You know it’s cringe when you do that.”
You feel, rather than hear, him snicker in delight at your disgusted reaction. Ever since that memorable night at the college party, the two of you had found yourselves in an unexpectedly steady rhythm. Adam, it turned out, was a surprisingly good boyfriend—caring, attentive, and, well, a little bit of a shit. But you wouldn’t have him any other way.
“Can you stop blinding me so I can get back to work?” you ask, a twinge of annoyance at his interruption.
“Yeah, just one second. Keep your eyes closed.”
You do as he asks, keeping your eyes obediently closed, though curiosity gnaws at you. The shuffling of fabric and the soft clinking of metal fill the air, accompanied by the faint scent of his cologne. You resist the urge to peek, letting the anticipation build as seconds tick by.
Finally, his hands retreat, and you feel a slight shift in the air as something is placed before you. The anticipation is palpable, like the charged atmosphere before a thunderstorm. Your heart pounds with excitement and a hint of nervousness, wondering what Adam could possibly be up to.
“Okay, baby,” he sounds nervous. “You can open them.”
Slowly, you crack open your eyes, expecting to see some prank or jest. But what you find leaves you speechless. There, nestled atop your meticulously arranged notes, lies a necklace, its golden chain catching the soft glow of the library lights. It matches Adam's. The guitar pick is the same shade as Adam's eyes, and for a moment, you're struck by the thoughtfulness of the gesture.
“You like it, baby?”
You look at him, feeling happy-tears prick the corner of your eyes. “I adore it.”
Piping hot redesigns here!!!!
Actually no, theyre cold and stale because some designs sort of changed after a while but yea!!! this is 2 months overdue!!!
Partners in Death…And Life
Part 4: The Radio Stars’ Co-host Just Wants To Do The Dishes
|Part 3: Not Everything You Hear From the Radio Should be Trusted| Part 5: Glimpse of Me and You| |Masterlist| Ao3| Taglist| Parings: Alastor x wife! Reader. Tags: fem!reader established relationships, hopefully not but just in case ooc!Alastor (I'm trying my best, guys) Reader is in hell for a reason, Warnings: Very brief dissection of the human body. Kidneys It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me. I am sorry :D. These past *checks notes* three weeks (yikes) have been really busy for me. But I’m finally posting?
The light from the bus stop illuminates Alastor’s block handwriting. Smiles are drawn on the edges of note with different colored ballpoint pens. Dear God, it was like looking at kindergarten art, but you appreciate it nonetheless. Alastor’s instructions tell you that his house is a ten-minute walk from the bus stop.
You flip the note, studying the map Alastor drew.
A bird caws from the patches of trees across the road. There’s no living soul out here besides your own for miles.
You tighten your grip on the straps of your bag, and walk until you find yourself standing before a wooden gate. The hatch unlocks easily, and you hike up the path until you’re stepping on to the porch. Alastor’s house isn’t much—well, it’s much more than the tiny apartment in the city that you call home, but besides that, he has a very normal looking house. You don’t know why you expect anything different. The flowers on his windowsill brighten the place, and the rocking chairs by the edge makes it homier.
You smoothen your hair, fiddling with the note. A deep inhale, and then another deep inhale, and then another deep inhale, and then another deep inhale, and then another—
Fuck it. You knock on the door.
A beat passes, and then another beat passes, and then another. Oh God, did he not hear your knock? Should you knock again? Your father always said that it was rude to knock twice, but you’re sure the knock should have been heard. Alastor was probably at the back of the house. You’re just going to knock again.
Alastor swings the door open, smiling at you. “You are right on time!”
Soft music plays behind him. The lights inside make his living-room look warm. “You said to be here by eight … so … Here I am!” you say with a light laugh. It doesn’t come out as you hope. “I’m very fond of being punctual.” Okay…hmmm…why did you say that?
You smoothen your hair, and fiddle with the straps of your bag.
“I admire punctuality.” Alastor smiles at you.
You smile back.
He opens the door wider. “Would you like to come in?”
‘Yes.’
‘Right.’
‘Of course I would!’
All proper responses to his question. It’s a shame you don’t say them. You reach into your bag instead, and shove a paper bag into his arms. “It’s raw.”
Alastor lifts the paper bag, studying it with careful eyes until they flicker to the wet patches at the bottom. “…I’m almost afraid to ask who it came from.”
You step through the door, and take off your coat. “My father, actually.”
Alastor tilts his head. “This is your father—am I supposed to cook him or something?”
“It’s venison!” you say, and run your hand through your hair. “Dad went hunting last week, and he gave me a bunch of meat and well…well, I thought you'd appreciate it more than I do. There’s too much for me to eat alone. And it’s always polite to give a gift when you’re visiting a home.”
Alastor secures your gift around his arms, and takes your coat. He’s smiling. You think he’s being genuine—you can’t really tell. “Thank you.”
He hangs your coat on the rack, and ushers you deeper inside his home. Alastor disappears into what you think is his kitchen, but you stay planted in his living-room floor. His house is nice for someone who lives alone. Things all have a place, they’re not necessarily organized, but it’s neat. It makes you smile.
It’s easy to see Alastor between the walls.
This is a home that’s been lived in. You count at least three portable radios in the living-room alone. There are books on the coffee table by the window, and the spines are creased as if it’s been read over and over and over again. There’s a chair next to the window as well. It has stains, and the cushions sink as if they’ve been loved for decades. You can practically see Alastor in that chair, a warm drink in his hand. He’ll reach across, and twist the knob of the radio that already has his favorite station tuned.
Alastor strides out of the kitchen, your gift probably inside his freezer. “Follow me,” he says with a wave of his arm. “I have something to show you.”
“Oh…okay.”
There are photo frames lining the wall of his stairs. You observe it as you follow deeper into this house. Some are photographs of what you’re going to assume is Alastor, and some are certificates. You don’t have time to poke around and read each and every one of them.
Alastor opens his arms, shaking them as he presents you with a door.
A single door…One door at the back of the house. A door you don’t know where it will lead.
You stare at him, and take one single step back. “You’re not going to kill me in your basement, right?”
Alastor laughs at you, wiping a tear for the sake of showing you. “Good heavens no! Why would you ever think that?”
“Because I’m inside a man’s house, and he’s currently leading me to the basement. A man, might I add, dumps bodies in the forest,” you tell him with a wonky smile. “I hope you don’t go around asking every lady to your murder basement.”
“I don’t, actually.”
“My goodness, you really know how to make a lady feel extra special.” You fiddle with the straps of your bag, tightening your grip to stifle the urge to smoothen your hair. “So, how do you want to do this?”
Alastor tilts his head. (It’s kind of cute.) “Do what?”
“You know…uh…. You’ll tell me to run,” you say, then motion to the china vase behind. “Then I’ll grab this really nice and expensive looking vase and smash it over your head.”
“Please don’t.”
“And then I’ll make a run for the door.”
He raises his eyebrows. “You weren’t interested in running last time.”
“And I’m still not,” you say. “So there’s no point in killing me.”
He chuckles a bit and his glasses slide down his nose. He pushes it up. “Think of this as a gift! Or more like an offer of partnership.”
“A gift of death?”
“I've already told you I wasn’t planning on killing you anymore,” he says, sighing. “Just…just follow me, and you’ll see!”
You huff and cross your arms. “I detest being lied to.”
Alastor opens the basement door. The hinges creak. It appears as if darkness itself lives inside, swirling and eating up whatever light that passes through. “Yes, that’s good to know.”
You take another step back. “That’s a really creepy basement.”
“You haven’t even been inside yet,” Alastor says. He places a light hand on your back, practically pushing you down. “Now, now, don’t be so stubborn.”
You grab the door frames, and push against him to resist. “I’m not going without knowing what’s down there.”
Alastor presses on your back. “If you go down there and see what I’ve prepared, you will feel very silly for causing such a ruckus.”
You push back harder, using the door frames as support. “As first dates go, this is giving really mixed signals,” you say, trying to smile. “I hope you don’t treat all ladies like this.”
Alastor rolls his eyes. “Just the stubborn ones.”
You and Alastor are at a stalemate. He pushes. You push back. The classic dilemma of an unmovable force versus an immovable object. “If you kill me, I will haunt you,” you say, digging your feet into the wooden floors. “I will haunt you, and hide all your tacky bow ties.”
Alastor stops pushing, and you fumble backwards from the lack of his opposing force. He points his nose to the air, straightening his bow ties. “It is not.”
You frown at him. “Oh…I’m really sorry.”
“You should be.”
Taking this opportunity, you press against the wall like a hissing cat. “I’m sorry you actually believe that!”
Alastor pinches the bridge of his nose, and takes one deep breath. He strides to you, and the world goes upside-down when he flips you over his shoulder. Alastor carries you like a common sack of worthless potatoes.
“I really don’t like this!” you shriek, angling your head to glare at him. Alastor has a surprisingly really nice back. Like…a really, really nice back.
Alastor meets your eyes and smirks. “You’ll like it in a second.”
He tightens his grip around your hips, and his boney shoulders dig into your stomach. You keep your eyes ahead. “You have a really flat butt.”
He pauses for a second. “Stop looking at it.”
“I will do as I please,” you say with a huff, and go limp in his hold as you accept your fate. “It’s just all pointy. Maybe some squats will be helpful?”
“If it’s such a horror to you, stop ogling my buttocks like a pervert.”
“Now you’re just putting words into my mouth,” you say with a weird giggle. “These pants suit you well.”
He shakes you like a wet noodle. “I will drop you.”
“Please don’t.”
Alastor flips you, and your feet land safely on the ground. His basement is totally not creepy, totally not creepy at all. The fluorescent light bulb swaying around totally does not add to general horror. The blacked-out windows, and the spiderwebs on the wood make you not want to sprint to the top.
The cadaver bag on the table makes you stay.
It’s filled. You walk to the table, and observe the lump. Grasping the zipper, you pull it until the face of a dead man greets you. He’s fresh. Killed less than a day ago.
Alastor opens his arms, wide, as if to present to you. “Your studying can all be done right here!”
You stare at him, accepting the smile that creeps on your face. “Really?” you say, and trace this man’s nose with your fingers—his skin is cold. He is cold and dead, and full of organs you can poke around and observe. “You’re going to just allow me to dissect this body?”
Alastor smiles at you. “See?” he says. “You were making all the fuss, and now your smile could light up this very room.”
The laughter starts as a soft giggle that builds into excited glee. “I could kiss you right now.”
Alastor takes a step back. “Please don’t”
You roll your eyes then observe the person lying on this table. He wasn’t as big as the one before. This man still has the colors on his face, a bit pale, but he looks like he could just be in a sickly sleep. “Did you like this person?”
“Not at all,” he says. “He’d be alive if he was.”
“Then do you like me?” you say with a grin, placing a hand on your hips. “All this to get my attention, I see. I prefer being dined first, but not the worst first date I’ve ever been on.”
Alastor glares at you as he makes a face. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”
“So quick to answer that it’s almost insulting,” you say. “Well, it was your decision to keep me alive.”
There’s a glint in his eyes that pierces your very core. The lightbulb makes a shadow pass over his eyes, and you swear his eyes glow. Every single cell in your body screams as Alastor looks down at you from his glasses with a smile and darkened brown eyes that match his well-kept brown hair. “And I’m currently debating my choice,” he says. “I do not like being mocked. I can still change my mind if I find you a weak link.”
“Oh…I…oh….,” you say dumbly, coughing a little bit. The words aren’t doing their job.
“Do you understand me?”
Basements are supposed to be cold—you definitely don’t feel cold right now. “I’m sure you can—I don’t doubt that at all.” To break your gaze on him, you turn to the dead man between you and Alastor. “This man didn’t suffer.”
Alastor’s eyebrows raise. “And?”
“I’m not a total idiot when it comes to… uh… hunting,” you say, tilting the dead guy’s chin to see his neck. It was a bit stiff. “There’s a single deep slice on his neck. He was probably still high on adrenaline when you killed him, but with the other body, you took your time. That guy suffered—this one didn’t”
He crosses his arms. “I don’t see your point.”
“Nevermind…just…,” you start and smile a bit. “Thank you for preserving this body so well, but unfortunately, I think I’ll have to refuse.”
Alastor’s eye twitches as he takes a step closer to you. His shadow towers over you. “You’re refusing?”
You zip the man back into his bag. “You don’t need a partner,” you say. “If anything, bringing him back into your house is risky. If it’s my silence you want, you already have it. There’s no need for all this.”
“I never asked for your silence.”
“Yet it’s yours nonetheless,” you say. “Thank you for the gift or offer for partnership, but I’m not interested in going into business with you.”
“Is this not beneficial for you?”
“It is…it really is, and every fiber wants to give in but it’s not wise for me to get mixed up with you,” you tell him. “I think you’re mistaking my sin for gluttony. I know trouble when I see it, and I’m not afraid to flee from it.”
Alastor’s face twists as his smile turns into a snarl. “All you could ever want right here.”
“You obviously want something from me,” you say. “I know you’re not above using tricks to get what you want. Although, I don’t understand why you take such time out of your day to do such consuming things.”
He glares at you. “There’s always the chance that you’d say no,” he says. “And I can’t have that happen.”
“I decide if something is worth my time or not,” you say. “I will only ask once: what do you want from me?”
Alastor exhales, and pushes his glasses. “I’d like to watch you work. There’s something I want to confirm.”
You study him for a second. “That’s all?”
“Yes.”
“Then hand me a pack of gloves please,” you say. “I can show you all the things I’ve learned.”
Alastor tosses gloves to your face. It whacks you and lands on the table. You curse at him, and roll your eyes.
There’s a large container of formaldehyde under the table. You don’t know where he got it or how, but still, you take a stray brush forgotten on one of the tables, and brush the skin with chemicals. The sharp smell stings your eyes, but you’ve learned to tolerate it. Alastor scrunches his nose, taking a step back.
Opening the window would probably be wise, but you could do that later. Your father always did hope that you’d grow out of your bad habit. But with such an exhilarating opportunity, caution is at the back of your mind.
The scapple fits into your palm as if it was made for you. Throughout this Earth, no… not just Earth, but Heaven and Hell as well, nothing will ever be as perfect.
Alastor laughs, not the breathy and light kind, but in a loud and triumphant way. His eyes bulge out, looking like they could pop out any second “It seems I was not wrong,” he says. “You have the most precious smile I have ever seen.”
“Okay?”
Alastor leans closer to you, jerking your chin to face him. “All this time I’ve seen you; I have never seen your smile as true and honest as now.”
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
The bristles of the brush tangle on your feathers. It’s a struggle to smoothen the feathers at the back of your head now that you live alone.
The clock strikes an hour past noon, and work will call for you soon. It would be nice to be one time if this motherfucking brush would do its fucking job! You tug on the handle, cursing when it jerks your scalp. The smack of your forehead on the vanity table echoes around the room. The feathers bundled on the floor make you screech. That’s it. It’s over. You are not taking another second of this.
Discarding the brush, you head to the kitchen.
You grab two mugs, and take two spoonful of coffee ground and feed it to the coffee machine. With only a press of a button, you make the most perfectly perfected perfect cup of coffee. You take both mugs and take a seat on that little side table inside the kitchen.
The second mug steams with coffee.
You plop your chin on the table, unable to draw your eyes aways as you stare at it. Making a second cup is a waste of your money. Deep down to your very core, you’re aware that it’s a waste. It strikes you with the gentleness of a plane crash every single morning you make it, and every single night you have to throw it away.
Silence is your companion in this empty house. Where are the days when soft music plays on the radio? Where are the days where light footsteps walk around the carpeted floors? Where are the days of stories over dinner? These days watching television is the only way to fill that silence.
A knock breaks your pathetic moping.
The knocking starts out soft and hesitant, until it’s replaced with loud banging.
Swiping your mug from the table, you stride to the front door and swing it open. Charlie and Alastor stand in front of you, big smiles on their faces.
Your husband pushes a small ugly statue right up your face, presenting it to you with a self-satisfied smile. “I was told it was polite to bring a gift to a person’s home,” Alastor says. “Do you like it?”
“Oh no…,” Charlie says, frowning a bit. “I didn’t bring anything.”
Alastor places a hand on her shoulder. “No worries then! This gift shall be from the both of us.”
The mug slips from your hold. Charlie catches it, not a single drop spilling, and plops it back on your hand. You blink at Alastor and frown. “Why are you knocking?”
“We’re here on super serious business talk,” he says, wrapping an arm around Charlie’s shoulders to bring her closer. “Charlotte here has something to ask you.”
Charlie smiles. “Just Charlie, actually.”
You shake your head, tightening your grip on the mug. “No.”
Alastor tilts his head. “No?”
“No, this is your home,” you say, opening the door wider. “There’s no need to knock.”
Alastor and Charlie step inside, and you take a sip of your coffee—a long, drawn out sip. Alastor walks to the shelf nearest the door, placing your ugly little statue on the shelf that’s meant for all other ugly knickknacks. It blends in with all the other gifts Alastor’s given you.
Charlie’s eyes bounce around the walls, eyes wide as she looks around. “Wooooaaaaah,” she says. “This is a really nice house you guys have!”
Alastor glares at the television. “Why, thank you!” he says. “I put in a lot of care into how it looks. It seems you’ve redecorated—I don’t like it.”
“Oh, you never do,” you say. “Let’s move to the kitchen, shall we?”
Alastor’s ears straighten. “The kitchen?” he echoes. “Oh yes. Let’s go the kitchen.”
Alastor hooks his arms around yours, pulling you to the kitchen. There’s determination set in each step. You and Charlie take your seats by the kitchen table. Charlie continues to look around. You see it in her eyes as they flicker around to count each radio.
It seems you’ve made a mistake.
Alastor goes straight to the refrigerator, and swings it open.
With horror, you watch as his gaze observes each level meticulously, humming as he does. There’s not much to look at, considering the only thing inside are a couple of eggs, empty plastic containers that you’ve been too lazy to wash, last week’s takeout, and a couple of sauces and condiments.
When he finally closes it, your shoulders sink as you exhale…until, of course, Alastor wraps his fingers around the freezer’s handle.
“Would you like anything, Charlie?” Is the first thing that comes out of your mouth. “I think we have juice or lemonade—”
“We don’t have any of those,” Alastor says, and his gaze bears down on you. “It makes me wonder what will be inside our freezer, my love.”
Charlie smiles brightly. “I don’t need anything,” she says. “I had tea with Rosie this morning, and Alastor and I had lunch on the way here.”
“That’s wonderful to hear,” you say, chuckling nervously. “You know what? It’s such a hellish day today, and it would be a waste to spend it here. Why don’t we move to the garden?”
“No.” Alastor crosses his arm. “We are staying right here.”
You sulk in your seat, drooping a little. “…okay.”
Finally, Alastor opens the freezer door. His twitching eyes and pursed lips tell you everything you need to know about how the next fifteen minutes will go. Carefully, with the tips of his fingers, Alastor pulls out one of those microwave meals you buy at the grocery. He glares at the frozen chicken nuggets and pork cutlets, and all the processed frozen food you store there for easy meals.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” you say, giving him your most innocent smile. “And I barely eat those anyway. Those microwaved meals are just there for the occasional meal, I swear!”
Without uttering a single word, Alastor opens the cabinet under the sink where the trash can stays, and pulls it out. Empty microwave meals fill the brim. He raises his eyebrows at you.
“Oh dear…” Charlie winces. “That’s a lot, even for me.
You sulk deeper into your chair.
Alastor inspects the cabinets above the sink. The only things that greet him are a bunch of pots and pans. Relief pours into you…until of course, Alastor grabs the largest pot at the back of the cabinet and opens it, smashing any sense of relief with a metal bat.
Alastor pulls out a large pack of instant noodles. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he asks. “I remember telling you that I don’t like you eating these.”
“But they’re delicious,” you say, pouting a bit.
“These aren’t healthy,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They’re full of chemicals!”
“Everything is full of chemicals!” you counter. “And I only had a few. The dosage makes the poison.”
Alastor opens the trash can and tosses what was supposed to be your dinner. “The plastic said it was a pack of twelve?”
You cross your arms. “And? I don’t see your point.”
“There’s only two left.”
You fiddle with the handle of your mug. “I…I was busy…?”
“We’re all busy,” he says and you could pick out the faintest sound of static. “Not a single fresh fruit or vegetable, or any proper meats. Have I taught you nothing?”
Your pout deepens. “Do we have to do this in front of Charlie, my deerest?”
Charlie raises her arms in surrender. “Don’t look at me,” she says. “Aren’t you a doctor?”
“Yes, one would think….,” Alastor trails off. His eyes land on the second mug of coffee on the table, and his neck tilts to angle until it snaps. Static scratches that air until it warps. His eyes darken to reveal radio dials. “Expecting a guest today?”
You blink at him a bit dumbly, and take a long and drawn-out sip of your coffee to try and compose yourself. It doesn’t work. “I don’t make coffee for guests.”
Charlie panics a bit. “There, there Alastor,” she says. “No need to get all crazy!”
Alastor’s antlers grow. “I’m aware you don’t. So, who is it for?”
“Oh….” Dumbly blinking at him continues, and the words don’t seem to be doing their job.
Alastor leans closer, his voice morphing a bit. “I’d appreciate an answer, my love.”
“It's yours,” you find yourself saying. “…If you want it, that is.”
He blinks at you. You blink at him. Charlie blinks at the both of you.
Gone are the growing antlers, and the static that buzzes your skin. Alastor stands before you with that never ending smile, perfectly normal—well, as normal as he can be. “You weren’t aware I’d be visiting.”
You frown at him. “It’s not a visit if it’s your own home.”
“I didn’t tell you I’d be coming home,” he says. “Why make one for me?”
The heat on your face makes you turn away. “Just take it, deerest.”
“Taste lovely as always!” he says, taking a swig. Your frown turns into a soft smile as your watch him drink. “But don’t think you’re getting away from this conversation.”
“It really isn’t my fault.”
“Oh, really now?” Alastor raises his eyebrows. “I’m positive I taught you how to cook nutritious dishes.”
You flick the mug, and a soft clink echoes a bit. “I still cook proper food for myself,” you tell him, showing him your saddest smile. “But…I find myself hating the dishes.”
Alastor twirls his microphone, and it strikes the ground with a soft thunk. “And you think saying this will get you off the hook?”
You stick your tongue out. “Is it working?”
Alastor sighs at you, and turns to the ticking clock. “We’re wasting time—go talk to Charlotte.”
Charlie smiles awkwardly. “Just Charlie, actually.”
With a triumphant smile, you turn to Charlie. “So,” you begin, “what business are we going to talk about today?”
It’s Charlies turn to sulk into the kitchen chair. “Extermination is a month away,” she says. “And Adam is heading straight to the hotel first! It’s just one bad event after another because Heaven refuses to listen, and I’m running out of options.”
Alastor steps behind you. Suddenly, a brush combs through the back of your feathers, smoothing those parts of your head that you’ve never been able to reach by yourself. Sometimes, you think Hell gave you feathers so someone could brush it for you. A part of you warms at the fact that you didn’t even need to ask your husband to smoothen your feathers. It’s a job he’s been doing since you first spawned in hell, and it seems it’s work he’s keen on continuing.
“Extermination,” you echo. “I love the extermination. There are so many desperate and poor souls who want to keep their limbs. I get rather busy—prime deal making opportunities right there.”
Charlie winces a bit. “Oh dear…um…okay. That sounds fun? And a little violent.”
Alastor speaks up from behind you, still running a brush through your feathers. “We can from Cannibal Town! Charlie was able to convince Rosie’s people to take arms.”
“Then, what brings you to me?” you ask, stiffening your back as you try not to lean into the brush that combs through your feathers. Alastor always was better at preening you. “I’m not much of a fighter.”
“Alastor suggested that I ask for your help,” Charlie says. “He said you’re one of the few people who knows how to fix wounds that come from Angelic Weapons.”
You bat your eyes at Alastor. “Spilling all my secrets, I see.”
Alastor glides the brush over your hair, leaning close to your ear. “Oh, not everything.”
You laugh and glance at Charlie. “In front of a guest, my deer?”
Charlie cringes with the most hilarious frown.
“It’s just a matter of counteracting the holiness of their weapons,” you say, clearing your throat. “After that, it’s purely medical.”
“How is that even possible?”
Alastor trails through your feathers, and it tingles and flutters. You keep your expression emotionless. “I’m surprised you don’t know this,” you say. “Did Belphegor never tell you?”
“No, she didn’t.”
“Well, eons ago, Belphegor found out that angelic weapons are considered holy, and that’s very bad for a Sinner,” you explain. “So, she and a bunch of her team found out that if you cut off the holy site or embed a large amount of Sinner energy, one will be able to treat it.”
Alastor leans closer, butting into the conversation. “I prefer it when you cut it off.”
“Of course you do,” you say with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”
“Embedding the wounds with your magic takes too much energy from you, and because of that you always come home to me with sunken eyes. That is, if you don’t pass out before you reach the front door,” Alastor tells you. “I don’t understand why you go out of your way when they’re not worthy.”
“Worthy?”
“Yes, worthy,” he says. “Had they been competent, they wouldn’t need to go to you in the first place. It only proves that they’re weak.”
You smile at his words. “I guess I never thought of it that way.
Charlie rolls her eyes at the both of you. “So, you could help us?”
You twist, turning to Alastor. “I think you’ve gotten all my feathers straightened out,” you say. “My love, can you do me a favor?”
Lightly, Alastor taps your head with the tip of his cane. “Of course, how can I help?”
“I think the plants need some watering.”
The brush on Alastor’s hand dissolves with a poof. He leans closer once again, trailing your cheek with his finger until they hook on your chin. He captures you with his stare, and you allow him to trap you. He presses his lips on your cheek, and disappears into his shadow.
You take an even longer sip of your coffee.
Charlie massages her forehead, eyes twitching. “Dear Satan, it’s like watching my parents all over again! I can leave, you know,” she says, snorting. “Give you two a little privacy?”
“Oh, don’t bother,” you tell her. “There wouldn’t be enough time.”
Her brows furrow. “Time?”
“After all, extermination is in a month,” you say, brightening your smile. “We’re going to need at least two.”
“What the fuuuuck,.” Charlie whispers underneath her breath, her voice a pitch higher.
“Every couple of years, there will be certain seasons where it takes six!” you say. “Sinner bodies are just so exhilarating.”
Charlie chokes on her spit, and her eyes bulge. “Are you serious?”
“Hmmm, I could be—who knows?” You raise your mug to toast, and take a drink.
“You’re joking,” Charlie says. “…Right? Please tell me you’re joking.”
“My dear, is that a question you would want an answer to?” you ask. “Would you be prepared if the answer happens to be no?”
Charlie sinks deeper into her chair. “Okay, then! Moving on, now.”
Leaning on your palm, you laugh. “My deerly beloved husband wouldn’t give all this information for free,” you say. “What did he ask for?”
“We made a deal.”
Your hands drop to the table. “Oh Charlotte,” you say. “That was a foolish mistake. You don’t know what Alastor does to the so—“
“I still have my soul!” Charlie exclaims, balling her fist. “From Vaggie! From you—his own wife! I did what I needed to do to keep my people safe…Sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be so reliant on Alastor,” you tell her with a small smile. “You can’t trust him.”
“He’s given me no reason no to trust him, and…,” Charlie trails off. “And Alastor is my friend.”
Your smile brightens a bit. “Friend?”
“Yes?” Charlie says. “Everyone at the hotel is my friend, and he’s been a tremendous help.”
You place your hands over Charlies and give it a squeeze. “Convince me to help you.”
“W-what?”
“Alastor isn’t asking me to go play medic in the middle of a warzone.” Your brush your feathers out of your face. “If he was asking, I would say yes without a second thought because that’s who we are, but he isn’t asking me, Charlie, you are.”
Charlie hums, placing a finger on her lips as she thinks. “I heard from Angel that you and Alastor got married whe—“
CRASH!
She grips the table, eyes wide as she looks around. “What was that?”
You take a long and drawn-out sip of coffee, contemplating your choice for marriage. “Nothing to be worried about,” you say. “That was just my television.”
“Your Tv?” Charlie frowns a bit. “Did…did Alastor just throw away your Tv?”
You laugh, swatting your hand in the air. “Not at all!” you say. “It probably tripped out my window—those picture boxes are always so clumsy.”
Charlie raises her eyebrows. “You’re saying that your Tv…just tripped out the window.”
You smile at her. “You were saying something?”
She sighs, massaging her forehead. “You got married when you were alive, but continue to stay together. It’s very rare for Sinners to do such a thing,” she says. “And with all of that…uh…Alastorness.”
“It’s alright, you can just say bat-shit crazy.”
“I’d prefer not to,” she says with an awkward laugh. “So, how were you able to stay together for so long
“Are you…,” you trail off, blinking. “Are you asking me for relationship advice?”
“A bit? If that’s okay,” she says. “Rosie already helped but, well, she did eat her first husband.”
“I don’t think I can be of much help.” Your lips purse. “Alastor and I don’t exactly have the most conventional marriage.”
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
1927
“Do you like it?” Alastor offers you a spoonful of the simmering sauce.
You lean closer, shifting from your seat on his kitchen counter. Alastor dips the spoon in your opened mouth. “It’s spicy,” you say, lips twisting when you cough. “Is it supposed to be like that?”
Alastor tilts his head. A lock of his hair falls to the side. “No…it’s not.” He takes back the spoon and dips it into the pan. Alastor coughs as soon as it hits his tongue. “How many peppers did you add?”
Your legs sway, and the heels of your foot tap the cabinets below you. “I added what was written on the recipe! Exactly twelve peppers.”
Alastor twists the stove’s knob, killing the fire. “Take a look at the notebook again,” he says and reaches over your legs, grabbing his book full of recipes. “If you use these things called ‘eyes’ and ready, you’d be able to see that it says, ‘one to two’!”
“No, it does not!” you huff, grabbing the notebook from him. You read through the list of ingredients. There, near the bottom, pass the four cloves of chopped garlic, half a shallot, and a pinch of pepper, ‘one to two peppers’ is scribbled with blocky letters. “Oh…that’s my bad. Yeah, that’s on me.”
Alastor adjusts his sleeves, pulling it back up his forearm. (Hmm, not a bad look.) “There’s no point in teaching you how to cook this if you don’t know how to read!” he says, eyes twitching. “Go…Just go over there and let me fix this.”
“I already said I was sorry!”
“No, you did not!” Alastor says, throwing his hands into the air. “What you said was,‘Oh…that’s my bad. Yeah, that’s on me’, actually.”
“Yeah, that’s on me,” you repeat with a snort. “That’s my bad.”
“Get out of my kitchen before you ruin dinner.” He leans on the counter, crossing his arms. You hum to yourself. Alastor should pull his sleeves up more. “Go set the table or something. And wash your hair when you get home—it smells like chemicals.”
With a huff, you do as you're told.
You slide off his counter, opening the cabinet and grab two bowls with one arm and reach for the table placemats with the other.
Two sets of utensils, glass cups, and paper napkins. It’s one more set than what you prepare when you’re at your own home. Two…Two. It’s becoming quite the word in your vocabulary.
There’s a proper table waiting to be used in the other room, but this smaller one you’re setting, with its fraying edges and turmeric stains suit the both of you much better.
Three ice-cubes bobble at the top of Alastor’s water. It’s how he likes it. It’s funny. You don’t remember Alastor disclosing this particular information. It’s just something you noticed one day, and you’ve never stopped noticing. What else have you unconsciously learned about him, and what have you unconsciously taught him about you?
Alastor walks to the table, a large steaming bowl in his hands. He places it between the bowls, and you reach into the drawer for a ladle.
The taste tingles your tongue. It’s good. Better than anything you could possibly make for yourself.
You reach into your pocket and toss a handkerchief at Alastor’s face. It lands on between his hair. He tilts his head, shaking it, and the cloth slides on the table. “It’s yours,” you tell him, taking a spoonful of your food. “Thanks for dinner.”
Alastor studies how his name is embroidered in near letters, thumbing the music notes framing it. “Dinner was a way to thank you for this week’s meat.”
He tosses back the handkerchief. It smacks your face.
You peel it from your skin, and trace the letters you’ve threaded during your very scarce free time. “I can’t go around with a handkerchief that has your name on it.”
His smile widens. “Why not?”
“People would think I’m a fan.” You hand Alastor the handkerchief this time. “Just take it as a gift then.”
Alastor takes it from you, and places it into his pocket.
You hum into your spoon with a pleased smile. “Hey Al,” you say. “Tell me what you did today.”
Alastor takes his time chewing and swallowing his food. “As you can see,” he tells you, “I’m eating.”
“I’m bored,” you say. “Eat while you talk.”
He reaches across the table, and his fingers catch on the knob of the radio to turn it on.
Classical music plays out of the speaker. It was correct to assume that Alastor pre-sets radios to play his favorite stations. Although, you didn’t imagine that each of his many radios would have their own specific station. A different radio for different stations. You questioned Alastor about it, but he didn’t say much.
Once the bottom of the bowls has been scraped into your stomachs, you take the dishes and go to the sink.
Your nose scrunches at the sight of the piled dishes. Alastor watches you with a smile. You turn away when you notice.
Alastor takes a container from the cabinet above your head. He’s warm. Always warm.
He takes two containers, placing the leftovers inside. And there it is again, that word—Two. Not one, but two. One for him. One for you. You didn’t ask for leftovers. You’ve never asked at all. Alastor will just hand you the container like it’s the most automatic thing in this world for him to do.
You take the first of many bowls, and rinse the stubborn pieces with your hands. “There’s too many dishes,” you say. “It’s like you have one for every ingredient. Did you really need to use separate ones for each and every ingredient we used?”
He leans on the counter, slotting himself next to you. “I don’t like mixing the flavors until it’s time to add them.”
Alastor adjusts his pulled sleeves and crosses his arms.
The bowl slips from your grip.
“Oh…I…uh…sorry,” you say, picking up the bowl. “I mean, you really didn’t need one for the salt and pepper. They already come in containers—why couldn’t you just, I don’t know, eyeball it?”
“Eyeball it?”
“Yeah, or feel it with your soul or something,” you say and pick up the measuring spoons to show him. “You had to measure three pinches of salt instead of actually just pinching it.”
Alastor laughs, and strands of his hair slide down to his eyes. “And how did it taste?”
Your shoulders slump when you sigh. “Good.”
He bumps his shoulders with yours. “That’s just the way I was taught.”
“Well,” you start, “your way creates more dishes for me to clean.”
Alastor pivots from the counter, and takes his place in front of the second sink. He grabs the dish you’ve already rinsed and sponges it with soap. It’s quite the system you’ve created. You grab a dirty dish, rinse it, and pass it on to Alastor who cleans it with a sponge.
The next minute goes something like this:
Alastor flicks water at your face. You ignore it.
Flick. Ignore.
Flick. Ignore.
Flick. Ignore.
The water damps your hair. You kick his leg. “Stop that.”
Alastor drenches his hand under the faucet, letting his fingers accumulate water. He flicks it at you.
The grip you have on the plate tightens. “I am going to smash this on your head.”
Alastor raises his eyebrows. He glares. You glare back. He cups his hand under the faucet like a bowl. The water pools between his hands. He throws the water at you. It hits your eyes, blinding you. That does little to stop you.
You grip the plate, swinging it in his direction.
The plate doesn’t connect with anything… Sadly. You rub the water out your eyes, and find Alastor kneeling on the floor with a triumphant smile.
Alastor stands up, brushing dirt from his pants. “You missed.”
“You ducked.”
“I can’t believe you actually did that,” he says. “What if you actually hit me?”
You pass the plate to Alastor before you scratch the urge to swing at that smug smile of his. “Hey Al,” you say. “Tell me what you did today.”
Alastor closes the faucet. “You always ask me that.”
“That’s because you say it in entertaining ways,” you say. “It’s boring to wash the dishes without something to distract me.”
Alastor soaps the dish. “Your lessening attention span worries me.”
You roll your eyes at him, and flick water at his face. “Please?”
“Since you asked so nicely,” he says. “I find myself having no reason to deny you.”
Alastor’s glasses slide down his nose. He leans close enough for you to smell his perfume. He’s warm—always warm. It takes a second for you to understand. You dry your hands on a stray towel, and fix it in place.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
1928.
The metal bench cools the back of your neck.
The sun blinds your eyes, but you keep a steady gaze on the afternoon beams. When was the last time you felt the heat of the sun kiss your skin? As the seconds tick by. As the birds fly above you. As the leaves fall from their stem, melting on this bench seems like a heavenly idea.
But as the clock will eventually strike. But as the birds will eventually find their nest. But as the leaves will eventually land. So, too, must you eventually go back to work.
A shadow blocks the sun.
It takes a second for your eyes to adjust. Alastor’s upside-down face smiles at you. “Good morning to you!”
With a yelp, you swing your forehead forward.
Alastor leans backwards, narrowly missing your head by centimeters. “Not the greeting I imagined, but hello to you as well,” he says. “The receptionist said I could find you here.”
You twist, turning to him with a frown. “Are you okay?”
Alastor slides over the bench, and takes the free seat next to you. His legs cross. “Why would I not be, okay?”
There’s some bag slung over his shoulder, but that’s not important right now. Your eyes trail his body. Hair? Fixed. Smile? Wide. Clothes? Perfect. “You’re at a clinic.”
Alastor swats his hand. “I was in the area.”
That classic city stench attacks your nose, but it’s just nice to feel the way your hair sways from the breeze. “You’re not going to kill me, right?”
Alastor nudges his leg with yours. “You say that every single time!”
Your smile turns smug. “I’ll stop saying it when it stops becoming funny.”
Alastor rolls his eyes, showing it off to you. “It never was.”
“It is to me,” you say and wave your hands in the air. “Just imagine this, the great Alastor had to stalk me!”
“I am great, but remind me again,” he begins, propping his arm on the bench to lean on it, “how long did you have to follow me?”
Sighing, you lean your head on the backrest to count the clouds. It’s nice to be able to see actual clouds for once instead of the drawing of children who wait. “…Three months.”
“Exactly,” he says, and you hear the smugness in his words. “And I didn’t need to do any stalking—you led me straight to your house.”
You blow a raspberry at him. “Why are you even here then?”
Alastor props his legs on your lap. You push him off. He brings it back. It’s not worth fighting him right now. “I actually was in the area,” he says, and hands you the bag slung over his shoulder. “The director thought it would be a grand idea to bring the staff out to lunch.”
You unzip the bag, and packed lunch greets you. And there it is again. Two. Two. Two. One for you. One for him. Maybe both for you? “Al, tell me why I’m currently looking at two packed lunches?”
Alastor beams at you, and slides his legs off your lap. “I accidentally cooked too much today,” he said. “I thought it would be a grand idea to share.”
Your frown. “But…you already ate.”
“Oh…I was already planning on dropping by,” he says. “It was quite the stroke of luck that you’re only taking your break now, and that we happened to have lunch nearby. I thought I’d bring you a treat.”
Questions bubble on your throat. “Thank you, Al,” you say instead. You open the container and take a bite, savoring the taste. “It’s delicious.”
Alastor leans closer, and picks a leaf off your head. “That’s because I actually followed the recipe.”
You point your spoon at him. “That was just that one time!”
He smiles at you, chuckling softly. “Three actually.”
Before the clock strikes, it will tick. Before the birds find their nest, they will fly. Before the leaves hit the ground, it will fall. And before you eventually go back to work, you will eat on this bench, Alastor to your side.
He stares ahead. As you eat, you watch his eyes flicker. It goes from the kid then to a plant then to an old lady. This, you don’t question. You’ve stopped wondering what he could possibly be thinking years ago.
Alastor leans closer to your ear. “Do you see that lady?” he asks, voice low. His breath tickles your skin. “That one over there with the feather on her hat?”
You scan the people around the area, spotting the lady old enough to be your grandmother. A scarf wraps around her neck, despite the sun beaming with the afternoon heat. She lazily walks around. “What about her?”
“Do you think her name could be Edith? She looks like an Edith,” Alastor says. “She probably had three children, and married young when her parents forced her to marry this ugly but rich man she could never love.”
Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. It’s like a mantra that plays in your head. There’s no reason not to play along whatever nonsense he’s spouting. “Sure, why not?”
“But no!” he exclaims into your ear. You jerk away and shove him with an elbow. “Oof….Edith just had to defy all expectations, and she chose to elope with her childhood sweetheart. He’s not the richest man, but they survived.”
“That’s sweet.”
“And to this day,” he says, “everyone still calls her, ‘Edith the Penguin’.”
“Edith the penguin?” you echo. “Now I’m just confused.”
Alastor’s eyes shine. “Because she walks like a penguin with their ass on fire,” he snorts. “Your turn, now.”
Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. And you would love to be brought lunch again.
“Fine.” You place your spoon down, and look around to the first person who grabs your attention. “That little kid over there—His name is Thomas, and he likes balloons.”
Alastor blinks at you. “And?”
You take your time chewing and swallowing your food. “That’s all.”
He gawks at you, and rolls your eyes. “It must be so boring to be you.”
“It is not!” You huff at him, and kick his leg. “I am a very interesting person, I’ll have you know.”
“Oh really, now? Thomas, and he likes balloons?” Alastor says,and points at the kid with twitching eyes. “He’s holding a balloon!”
You wave your arms, the spoon still in your grip. “So, he probably likes it!” you say. “Thomas wouldn’t get a balloon if he didn’t like it.”
“I pity your sense of imagination.”
Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. Alastor brought you lunch. And you would love to be brought lunch again.
You swallow what remains inside the container, and pack it up. “Is this what you do when you zone out as I’m tal—and you’re doing it again, aren’t you?” you say. “You are an incredibly judgmental person.”
“It’s called using my imagination. Something you apparently don’t have,” he says with a snort. “So…tell me what you did today.”
You raise your eyebrows at him. “That’s my question.”
Alastor shrugs, taking the closed container and zipping it inside his bag. He hands you a tissue. “Well, I’m asking it now.”
You prop your arm on the bench, leaning on it. Alastor’s hair spikes out in odd places today. It must have quite the trek to the clinic. “I’m not as good a storyteller as you are.”
He props his arms on the bench, mimicking your pose. His eyes stare straight into yours. “ I don’t need a story,” he says. “I just want to know what you did today.”
You press your palm on his face, pushing him away from your face. The sun’s heat is really getting to you. Alastor’s nose crinkles as he rubs it. “Why would you even want to know what I do?”
Alastor props his elbows on his knees, observing the people around him. “You always ask me what I did,” he says. “I want to know if there’s something special about it.:
“There’s nothing special about it,” you tell him. Was there actually? You’re not sure. “I just like knowing, and it always entertains me.”
Alastor meets your eyes with a wide smile. “Then tell me what you did today,” he says. “Entertain me.”
The clock ticks closer. The birds are already close to their nests. The leaves are already floating to the ground. You are already close to going back to work, closer to this moment becoming nothing but a distant memory. “That was my first meal of the day.”
Alastor’s eyebrows furrow and his lips twist into a hard scowl. “That’s not healthy.”
You shut your eyes and sigh. “I never said it was.”
“How would you live without me?”
Remember, Alastor brought you lunch, and it would be nice if he could bring you lunch again. “I’m going to hit you.”
Alastor bumps your knees with his. “Lovely,” he says, and you can hear the smile he’s wearing. “I’m sure it will be very painful because you’re so full of energy right now.”
Eyes still shut, you bump his knees back. “I’ve been busy,” you say. “And don’t roll your eyes at me.”
Alastor hesitates for a second. “First of all, we’re all busy,” he says. “Second, I didn’t roll my eyes.”
“You did—it was audible,” you tell him with a soft chuckle. “Anyway, there’s nothing new with my day. It’s just the usual, people to see, files to file, blood to draw, pee to get on me.”
Alastor digs his finger into your cheek, twisting it as he presses down. “Wow, you really are a horrible storyteller.”
You know what, maybe you don’t need Alastor bringing you lunch. You peek open an eye to stare at him. “I’m going to smash a plate on your head once we start doing the dishes.”
Alastor mashes your cheek like some button. Over and over and over and over again. You swat his hand, and he rubs it with a grimace. “Were you planning on dropping by today?”
You place an arm over your eyes, blocking out the sun. “Will I have to do the dishes?”
“You don’t have to specifically do the dishes.”
You comb through your hair with your fingers. “That wouldn’t exactly be fair to you.”
“If you're so insistent, we can find something else for you to do,” he says. “I mean, if you hate it so much you don’t have to do it.”
“I don’t hate it,” you say with a sigh. A church bell sounds. It echoes through the buildings and through the trees. “Al…I’m tired.”
“I know,” he says, and you hear how softly he chuckles. “Your eyes are drooping so low I could fill the entire ocean in them.”
“I want to sleep, Al.”
“I know.”
“I hate this job.”
Alastor pauses for a second, and he bumps his shoulders with yours. “You don’t.”
The clock hasn’t struck yet. The birds haven’t flown to their nests. The leaves haven’t reached the ground. And so too will you stay in this moment of time.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
1929
Footsteps creak on the wooden stairs. The sound is ignored, just like every other thing that isn’t relevant to you.
The dead cadaver under you has weird kidneys. The one on your palm is too small for a kidney that belongs to someone of his size. You take your scalpel, slicing it to observe the cross section.
“It’s time to stop,” Alastor tells you. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Him and his smile is not important right now. “You’ve been here all night.”
“Leave me alone,” you mumble. The human body continues to be amazing. The medulla is clearly outlined. The colors of its cells were so different from the cortex. “…Kidneys, Alastor. He has weird kidneys. Hehehehe weird kidneys…”
Alastor says your name in a way that forces you to listen.
“…Oh…yes?” you say a bit dumbly.
“It’s nightfall,” he says, and the tone of his voice buzzes your skin. “Come on now, do as you're told. Be upstairs in fifteen minutes.”
It’s not an easy task to do as Alastor says, especially when this man’s left kidney is a whole different size from the right. However, with a frown, you slot the kidney from the opened chest cavity, and pack up the body.
You step out of the basement, and walk to the kitchen.
There’s a plate waiting for you on the table. It’s still hot. Muffled music plays from the porch, and you see Alastor’s outline through the windows. Taking your plate, you step out the front door and into the outdoors. (Something you really need to start seeing more.)
And oh…he’s not listening to the radio. Alastor plays the recording of his show. It was a present you got him a few months back.
You take your seat on the matching rocking chair.
Alastor watches you settle into your seat. He turns the volume down. “Tables were invented for a reason.”
The chair rocks when you swing your legs. “It’s nice out here,” you say, and take a bite of vegetables. “The sky is much clearer. It helps that there’s no stench of piss.”
He turns to you with a small smile. “That’s because you live in the city.”
The wind blows your hair into your face. You push it out of the way. “Hey, Al,” you say slowly. “Tell me what you did today.”
“Why should I?”
You lean back into the chair, letting the rocking sway you. “Well, you got home late,” you say. “I had to use my keys.”
Alastor leans back on the chair, using the tips of his shoe to rock himself. “Yes, that was the point of the keys,” he says, humming. “It would be a shame to come home to another broken window.”
The taste of the vegetables mixed with the meat makes you smile in delight. “Are you still holding on to that?”
“Always.”
“I paid you back, eventually,” you tell him, pointing your fork at him. “Why are you still holding a grudge for an honest accident?”
On his cheek , where it’s always been and where it’ll always be, his smile strains. “You expect me to believe that a rock smashing my window was an honest accident.”
You offer him your most innocent smile. “Yes.”
“Well, I hope your windows are much sturdier then,” he says, mimicking your smile. “One of these days, I might cause an accident.”
The stars twinkle in the sky. There’s a vast amount of knowledge those gassy balls hold. Maybe your life would be less horrific if you were interested in the stars instead. “In my defense, you were late.”
Alastor pinches the bridge of his nose. “You couldn’t wait fifteen minutes?”
You take another bite of your meal, and sway happily to do a little dance. “Just… okay? Just tell me what you did before I finish my meal.”
Alastor reaches into his pocket and tosses a keychain at you. It lands between your legs.
You set the plate on the coffee table between you, and hold the keychain to the light. It was a cute, little cartoon alligator. “What’s this?”
“It’s yours.”
“I can tell that much,” you say, twirling the gift between your fingers. “You never give me nice knickknacks. It’s always the ugly ones
Alastor huffs at you. “That doesn’t sound like my problem anymore,” he says. “I thought you would appreciate something that looks halfway decent one and for all.”
“I find the ugly ones really charming, actually. They’re very funny to look at,” you say. “So, where did you get this?”
Alastor clasps his hands, resting it on his stomach as he rocks himself. “Saw an advertisement. Went to the zoo.”
You scrunch your face. “That’s all you’re going to tell me?”
“Go finish your meal.”
You pocket his gift, and grab the plate on the table. “Master of storytelling right here, ladies and gentlemen,” you say, barking a laugh. “I figured you would love the excuse of hearing yourself talk.”
Alastor ignores you, reaching for his notepad instead.
You watch Alastor as he writes on his notepad. The breeze sways a strand of his hair. His lips twist when he thinks, just like he’s doing right now
Your eyes fall on your plate, to where vegetables and meat were carefully tossed together. Alastor cooked today— he always cooks. When you finish, you’ll grab the plates, and begin the mountain of dishes. Even when dish soap stings your fingers, even when the feeling of wet food grosses you, and even when thousands of dirty dishes wait for you…it’s something you don’t mind..
Once this meal is finished, you and him will step inside. He’ll properly tell you about his day, and you’ll take the pan and scrub it.
Ah…there it is again. That word—Two.
But it’s not two of anything. It’s simply just two. You and Alastor.
“You’re frowning,” Alastor says. He stares at you from the corner of his eyes. “Why?”
It’s weird.
Very weird.
You don’t…You don’t understand. How do you say the words you do not know how to explain?
It’s almost as if… “We should get married.”
Alastor’s laughter rings across the open land. “No.”
The inside of your cheek stings from how you bite it. You turn away to hide your flushed cheeks. “I…It just came out, okay?” you mumble. “I’m really trying not to be offended that you turned me down without a second thought, and with a laugh as well.”
Alastor turns back to his notepad. “Don’t be,” he says. “I’m nothing you want.”
The moonlight reflects off his brown eyes. “Sometimes…,” you begin, and a small smile appears on your lips. “Sometimes I wish you see yourself the way I see you.”
Alastor laughs at you again. “You’ve been having such thoughts about me?” he says. “What an absolute honor! I’m deeply flattered.”
“And then you say words like that, and I immediately know it’s not worth it
Alastor lifts his eyes from his notepad to peek at you. He fixes his eyeglasses. “You don’t actually think we should get married.”
To be infuriating, you take a bite from your plate, savoring each flavor with drawn out chews.
“I have no idea,” you say. “But…I mean, why not? There are many good reasons for me to marry you—it’s advantages for me, and everyone already thinks we’re dating.”
Alastor turns back to his notepad, shaking his head. “That’s the most absurd idea I’ve ever heard.”
“What, being in a relationship with me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s twice you’ve managed to offend me.” You laugh to hide your frown. “But that friend of yours. The feathery one from the lounge you like taking me to.”
Alastor tilts his head. “Mimzy?”
“Ah yes, her,” you say with a hum. “She asked me if you um…uh… well, if you liked vanilla or hot and spicy.”
“If I had to answer, Id say hot and spicy?” Alastor says, and you laugh at the confusion on his face. “I got a bottle of this pepper flakes infused with old. It was quite the treat.”
“That’s exactly what I figured you would say,” you tell him.“Unfortunately for you, Mimzy was talking about sex.”
Alastor scrunches his face.
Oh don’t make such a face, there is absolutely no need to be afraid of the prospect of such activities.” The final bite of your meal bursts with so much flavor that you revel it for a second. “Al, let’s get married.”
Alastor glares at you. “No.”
You place the plate on the coffee table. It can be washed after this conversation. “Why not?”
He points his pen between you and him..“We aren't even dating,” he says. “And…I can’t express such passionate displays of affection.”
You rock the chair with your shoe. An owl hoots from somewhere beyond the trees. Huh, you weren’t aware owls lived in this area. “Don’t be a child—just say sex.”
Again, his face scrunches. “I will not.”
“It’s a really good thing,” you say, sighing, “that no one’s asking.”
Alastor searches for your eyes. He holds it. It was only ever his to hold anyway. “I’m not even sure I’m interested in romance.”
You look around, whipping your head. “I think I’m missing the part where someone asked.”
“Be serious.”
“Okay fine. This is me being serious because I am when I say that all I don’t need your romance—Al, you accepted me for who I am, and to me? That is enough,” you say with a soft smile. “You are all I could ever ask for.”
Alastor stares at the stars, his eyes capturing each one. “I can’t love you like a husband should.”
The stares are really beautiful.
Each shines in their own way. Alastor sees the beauty in them, but you aren’t going to be beaten by a gas ball. Tomight, you will be the only star Alastor should keep his gaze on. “Alastor, look at me.”
He keeps his eyes on the stars.
Huffing, you stride to his chair, and block his view of the night sky.
You plant your arms on the armrest for support, and inch your face so close that you are the only thing he will see. “Alastor,” you say his name, voice oh so soft, “look at me.”
Oh…his eyes are browner than you thought. It’s a deep and dark brown that pulls you in.
“You can love me in ways that matter.” You press your forehead against his, and close your eyes.
There are more words to be said, but right now you and him stay in this moment of time. Just…for…a second.
“I will never force you to love me in ways you cannot,” you whisper. The ends of his hair brush against your skin. “Alastor, I could never reject the type of love you can offer me. I can never deny you.”
Alastor caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers. “Friends don’t get married.”
Impulsivity was such a bad habit of yours. It’s a fact that makes you bear the consequences, but consequences be damned. You take his hand, holding it in yours. The pads of his fingers have different textures. Some are smooth. Some are rough. But the whole thing warms you to the touch. It’s unfair. He’s unfair. How could something as simple as taking his hand intoxicate?
Your lips hover over his skin, brushing it a little. Alastor doesn’t pull away. With a smile that Alastor always seems to put on your lips, you plant a soft kiss on his ring finger.
“We aren’t normal people. There’s no reason to force ourselves into a conventional relationship.” You meet his eyes with a smirk. Every word you utter brushes your lips yo his skin. “This marriage will be defined however we want. You offer me a partnership in death…This is me offering you a partnership in life.”
You press your lip on the back of his hand, one final time, and return to your chair.
Alastor doesn’t speak.
You rock yourself with your foot, enjoying the sway of the chair.“There is that added benefit that the police won’t be suspicious of a doting husband.”
Alastor scrunches his face. “Doting husband?” he echoes. “I thought we wouldn’t be having a normal marriage.”
“That doesn’t mean a lady doesn’t want to feel special,” you say, snorting. “I’ve always dreamed of a doting husband.”
Alastor rips a page out of his notepad. He folds it with his hands.
His vets match his shoes today. The hair on the back of his head sticks out and curls. Did he take a nap today? “I could be like this every single night,” you say softly. “You and me. The two of us under the stars until our hairs turn gray.”
Alastor’s gaze stays locked on the piece of paper he’s folding. “Why me?”
You stare at him with a smile, and lean your face on your palm. “Does it need to be said?”
Alastor glances at you with those brown eyes of his. “I’m asking.”
“It’s because…It’s…I…,” your trail off. How do you summon the words to describe something you don’t understand?
There’s a smug smile on Alastor’s lips. “What, is it because you love me?”
“Would it be so bad if I did?” you say, chuckling into your arm. “But…well, I don’t exactly know how to properly say this.”
“Just open your mouth,” he says, rolling his eyes, “and let the words do it’s job.”
“I wouldn’t mind doing the dishes with you for the rest of my life,” you tell him, and your cheeks tingle. “Maybe even past life. Can you imagine that? You and me in hell, doing our dishes together.”
There’s an odd look on his face. “Sure.”
“We can listen to the radio,” you say. “And I’ll ask you about your day, and you will tell me the wildest and most grandiose story while we clean a pot.”
Alastor smiles at you. “You hate doing the dishes.”
“I do not.”
“You do. I see it—I always do,” he says with a soft chuckle. Alastor taps his nose. “Your nose scrunches every time, yet you never ask for help.”
What expression are you making right now?
You bring your legs to your chest. “I’m willing to give up everything for dirty dishes if it means I have you as a companion for the rest of my life.”
Alastor turns back to whatever he was folding.
You hide your face in your legs, face flushed and warm. “Say something…please,” you say, whispering. “I just poured out my heart for you
You hear Alastor rise from his seat. He places a hand on your head. “Today’s dinner…,” he says, and his voice is the softest it’s ever been. “Did you like it?”
You smile even if he couldn’t see it, and lean into his hand. “It was one of the most delicious thing I have ever tasted.”
“I wouldn’t mind making it for you for the rest of my life…if you’re willing to wash the dishes with me for the rest of yours,” Alastor says, and you think this is the most honest thing he’s ever told you. “It’s yours. Even if you don’t want it, this is yours now.”
You peek out of your knees. Alastor’s smile is soft. He opens his palms and your eyes flicker to them. He shows you what he’s been folding. It’s the paper of his notepad folded into a ring—a paper ring.
“Do it again,” you say with a beam that could rival the stars. “Ask me again.”
Alastor caresses your cheek, the back of his finger brushing down your skin. “Doting husband?”
“Exactly,” you say with a laugh and lean into his touch. “You catch on very quickly.”
Alastor takes your hand in his, and his thumb brushes over your ring finger. Does he feel your skin the way you feel his? He kneels on one knee and the paper ring is presented to you. “Would you do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage?”
You insert your ring finger into the paper ring. “The honor would be mine, my dearest.”
Alastor stares at you.
You stare back.
The moment your eyes settle on one another, laughter echoes across the land. It’s loud and breathy, and it echoes so far that the local wildlife gets disturbed. Alastor settles back on his chair, rocking himself.
Alastor calms down first. “Oh…uh…Should we share a passionate kiss?”
The stars shine above you. Not a single gas ball can beat the brightness of your smile. “Do you want to?” you ask. “Be honest, my dear.”
Alastor hesitates for a second. “Not particularly—Do you?”
“Maybe? Sometimes?” you say with a shrug. “I could live a happy life without such passionate kisses.”
“Really?” he says, and the surprise in his voice makes you laugh. “You would be fine without one?”
“Well, since you’re so insistent, I’ll allow a kiss.”
Alastor snorts into the air. “And where and when would you want such a kiss?”
You hold him in your gaze. There’s so much to learn, so much to figure out. It’s alright. There will be time. “Anywhere and anytime, you want, my love.”
“You’re going to give me control?” he asks. “Is this not something you would want as well?”
“I’ll make this easy enough for you to understand,” you tell him, tracing the paper ring around your finger. “I demand a kiss whenever you are completely and perfectly and incandescently happy.”
Alastor hums, looking away to study the woodcarving on his chair. He picks on them. “I supposed if you need anyone to fulfill your needs I only as—”
“Just say sex, my dearest,” you say, and Alastor sinks into his chair with a huff. “That will never happen. This isn’t a friendship, my love. I am entering a relationship with you. No matter how unconventional, it is still ours.”
Alastor locks your eyes with a pleased smile. “Good.”
The rocking chair rocks you into a small lull. “My dear.”
“Yes?”
“My love.”
Alastor sighs. “Yes?”
“My dearest,” you say. “Would you want to share a bed?”
Alastor stays silent. There’s hesitation on his face. You see it in the way his lips twist. You see it in the way his eyebrows furrow. You see it in the way he leans back on his chair to stare at the stars.
“Okay then, we can circle back to that later,” you say with a soft chuckle. “How about a room—Do you want to share one?”
Alastor raises his eyebrows, staring at you with silent judgment. He is a book that you are allowed to learn. There’s so much to read, and so much still left to be read. That’s okay. There’s time. No matter how long. You have time.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, we can share a room without sharing a bed,” you exclaim, throwing your hands into the air. “We can even have bunk beds. That would be cool. I’ve always wanted a bunk bed.”
Alastor rests his face on his palm to look at you. There it is again, the breathy and light laughter. “We are not sleeping on a bunk bed.”
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Charlie’s smile slowly morphs into a frow that you cannot decipher. It makes sense that you can’t. Afterall, she is not the book you’ve spent your life learning to read. “You…You don’t actually love each other?”
There’s a frame hanging on your kitchen wall that says otherwise.
It holds an art piece you embroidered for the sole purpose of giving it to your husband. The color of the wooden frame compliments the colors of the thread, as if it was carefully chosen to match. The one here in the kitchen is but one of many frames around the house. Alastor keeps every single item safe beneath the glass to to be admired.
There’s a shelf standing on the living-room carpet that says otherwise.
It holds ugly knick knacks that Alastor bought for the sole purpose of giving it to his wife. It’s a pain to dust the shelves, but not a speck of dirt touches its surface, as if it was carefully taken care of. The one in there in the living-room is but one of many shelves around the house. You keep every item spotless to be admired.
“We’re not heartless,” you say. “Alastor and I don’t have the same relationship you and your girlfriend have.”
Charlie sways in her seat, a hand rests on her chin when she hums. “ I am so sorry,” he says. “I think it’s great and all that, I’m just having trouble understanding.”
“It’s not exactly for you to understand.” You take a sip from your mug.
“So it’s not a relationship,” Charlie says. “Sooooo, is it like a really really deep friendship?”
“The lines between us are so blurry that it’s become deeper than friendship,” you admit with a small smile. “I just know that my soul is connected to him in ways I do not know how to tell him.”
“Is that really possible?” Charlie asks. “To just…love each other so differently?”
“Can our relationship not just…exist?” You lean on your palms. “Do you really think it’s so impossible for two people to just…to just look forward to cooking and washing the dishes together?”
Charlie’s eyes brighten. “I think I’m starting to understand,” she says. “So like—”
“Charlie…if I sit here and answer all of your questions, we’re going to waste time.” You play with the fiddle of your mug. “You didn’t come here for relationship advice.”
“Oh…yes.” Charlie sits there. Her smile slowly falls into a frown. “I’ve been thinking of how to convince you to help me, but…I can’t think of a single thing to say, and I don’t want to force you either.”
You raise your eyebrows. “You haven’t exactly asked for my help either.”
Charlie blinks at you. “…Huh?”
You raise your mug to toast to her. “If you want my help, just ask for it.”
Charlie grabs your hand with a tight grip. “Please, help me,” she says, voice shaking. “I don’t want to drag Cannibal Town into an all-out war without knowing there was a way to keep them safe.”
“Sure, why not?” You pull your hand away.
A loud squeal bounces off the walls.
Charlie pulls you into the tightest hug you’ve ever experienced. She hauls you with all the strength of a hellborn princess. Your feet drag against the floor as she pulls you out of the kitchen and into the living-room.
Charlie drops you with a wince on her face. She stares at the broken window, and the obviously missing television.
You trip out of her hold.
Alastor wraps his hand on your shoulders, steading you against him until you find your balance. His touch lingers on you.
The television shaped hole on your glass window makes your eyes twitch.
Alastor steps away from you, twirling his microphone. It strikes the floor with a harsh thunk. “Oh, yes that,” he says. “It seems there was an unfortunate accident.”
“Oh, really now?” you say, placing a hand on your hips. “I would love to know exactly how that happened.”
Alastor’s smile widens, and his arms wave the air. “The clumsy boxed tripped right out the window.”
Your smile strains. “…That is rather unfortunate,” you say. “What a shame, I rather liked that television. It’s been a constant companion, and never has it once disappeared on me for several years.”
Alastor glares at you.
You glare back.
“I would love to help you clean this mess,” Alastor says with that triumphant smile of his.
Would a second broken window be worth trouble if it means there would be an Alastor-shaped hole?
“Perfect!” you say. “I’m sure you still remember where we keep the broom.”
Alastor boops your nose. “Unfortunately, the cannibals will be meeting us at the hotel,” he says. “I think it’s time we take our leave. Say goodbye to my wife, Charlotte.”
Charlie opens her mouth to correct him. She changes her mind at the last minute, choosing to sulk with a wave instead.
Alastor opens the door, allowing Charlie to step out first. She strides to the flowerbeds, kneeling to observe the plants.
Alastor stills by the door frame.
He inches close enough for you to reach him. The fabric of his lapels smoothen as you adjust its fit on him.
A breeze tussles Alastor’s hair. You swipe the stray locks, brushing his hair away from his forehead, until…until the x that marks the gunshot catches your eyes. Frowning, you thumb the mark, caressing it with oh so soft touches. There was a time where you believed that you and him had all the time in the world. Death laughed at you that night.
Alastor watches you, taking your wrist to pull it away.
He leans closer, and picks a feather on your head. “Will you indulge me?” he asks. “There’s just something I want to ask of you before I leave.”
“Say it, and it will be yours.”
Alastor pokes his cheeks, mimicking a smile. “Just one of these from you will do—Something to power me through the day.”
With a soft chuckle, you widen your lips to show him the brightest smile you can muster. “Is that much better, my love?”
Alastor presses a kiss on your cheek. “Indeed,” he says. “You’ve been frowning for a while now.”
Your eyebrows furrow. “Have I?”
Alastor boops your nose. “You have,” says. “What’s troubling you, my dear?”
“It’s nothing serious to you,” you tell him with a shake of your head. “It’s nothing worth listening to.”
Alastor taps his fingers across his microphone. “It’s not nothing. Especially when you frown like that,” he says. “If it’s serious to you, it is worth listening to.”
“Sometimes…I still find myself wondering how you feel,” you say, smoothening the feathers on your head “Even after being married for so long, there are times where I still do not know
“You’re not a mind reader,” he says. “If you want to know, you should just ask.”
“Alright then,” you say with a smile. “How are you feeling today, my love?”
Alastor caresses your cheek. The back of his fingers brush down your skin until it hooks around your chin. You tilt it to the side, offering your cheek, ready for him.
Alastor tugs your chin, adjusting your face until your eyes are drawn into his own. And oh…Has he always looked at you like this?
Alastor inches closer, his nose nudging against your own. Your heart thumps in your ear.
A minute has never felt so long as you stay frozen. It’s a whole minute if his lips brushing inches above yours. It’s a whole minute of his finger stroking the skin of your chin. It’s a whole minute of feeling his breath on your skin. It’s a whole minute where inches of space separate your
Alastor tortures you with the simplest of sensation that intoxicated you to your very core. You don’t move away, not from him—never from him.
Your eyes close when Alastor presses his lips across yours.
The taste of this morning’s coffee is dizzying. The soft tickles of his breath make your fingers curl around the fabric of his coat. You were never a poet. It’s Alastor who was better with his words. You cannot describe the way he kisses you with sweet metaphors or soft analogies.
Alastor pulls away.
You inch closer to chase him, until self-control takes over. It splashes you with the warmth of a bucket filled with ice.
Oh…oh.
There are words to be said, questions to be asked. The heat tingling of your cheeks and the electricity buzzing your lips make it hard to find the words.
You bury your face into the fabric of Alastor’s chest, curling into him to hide how red your face flushes. The back of his coat crumples when you grip it.
Alastor wraps his arms around you, tightening the hug. His finger stroke your shoulder blade. “Does that answer your question?”
You inhale into his clothes. It’s warm. He’s warm. So warm that int transfers to you. “No, not at all,” you mumble. “Where did you learn to do that?”
Alastor leans back, pushing you away to search your face.He stares at you.
You stare at everything but him.
Alastor squishes your cheek, giving it a light shake. “Stop demanding things from me when you’re not going to remember.”
“I did no such thing.” You swat his hand away. “Will I be seeing you soon?”
Charlie catches your eyes. She quickly glances away before eventually looking back. You bring out your hand, folding your fingers to indicate the number two. Charlie cringes so deep she creates a double chin.
Alastor brushes feathers out of your face. “You wouldn’t need to ask if you accepted Charlie’s offer to stay at the hotel,” he says. “ I was given a room there. I think you would like it…but, there’s still thousands of unused rooms if you wish to stay somewhere else.”
“My deerest, are you asking me to stay at the hotel?”
Alastor’s silence makes you chuckle.
With the tips of your toes, you reach to press a kiss on his cheek. “I will see you soon.”
“You always will.”
Charlie and Alastor leave with a wave. You close the door before they reach the gate, leaning on the door. The wood does little to settle the way your skin buzzes. Demand a kiss? You would never do such a thing.
The clock strikes. It’s time to leave for work. You take your coffee mug, scrubbing it with soap. (If you drop it twice, then that’s your business.) You open the cupboard, placing your matching mug next to Alastor’s clean one.
Today…Today will be a good day.
For today, there’s no need to throw away cold coffee mugs.
First of all, you will never catch my Alastor cooking jambalaya. It’s a great dish, I know. But I refuse to fall into the curse. Part of the reason why this chapter took so long to publish, besides work getting in the way, was because I didn’t know how I would want Alastor and Reader to love each other. Like do I make it purely romantic? But I like keeping this as canon as possible. And I know that Alastor is only canonically ace. This problem struck me until I realized that to be accepted is to be loved. So I decided to write a story that will make me happy to show you. There are so many other fics with pure romance, and I wanted to respect Alastor’s asexuality and everyone who relates to him. This is my love letter to him and to you. Also, I’m just going to put it out there, just in case someone might ask why there’s a kiss on the lips? This is a reminder that you can define a relationship any way you could want. I debated whether that kiss should be on the cheek or on the lips. A cheek kiss isn’t inherently romantic, so I could have just done this. The lip kiss just felt…correct. I wanted to showcase that the relationship between Alastor and Reader isn’t a conventional one, and that it’s fine to have one that differs from what is considered normal. So the best way would be to take something that everything thinks is very romantic and twist it in a way that it could mean something different. And thus, any kiss before and after this chapter really just means that Alastor is completely and perfectly and incandescently happy.
Taglist: @mybrainautocorrect @ray-rook @teavibesaf @valentique @qardasngan @tobyisher3 @amoraneuro @okay-babe @holymusicialmothman @lyralibra @alastorssimp @aestheticglas-blog @slaggylemon
Partners in Death... and Life
Part 3: Not Everything You Hear From the Radio Should be Trusted
| Part 2: Radio Will be Dead if He Doesn't Explain Himself| Part 4: The Radio Star’s Co-host Just Wants To Do The Dishes| |Masterlist| ao3| Tag-list| Parings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem!reader, established relationship, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm still trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) Reader is in hell for a reason. Please take note of the following warnings: Body horror. Graphic descriptions of injuries, glass piercing skin, cutting of skin, cutting of chest. Dissection of Human muscles. Misogyny Just…be careful out there Hello. I usually aim to post on Wednesdays, and I knoooow it's not a Wednesday. But, in my defense, this chapter is longer than chapters 1 and 2 combined. Also, I tried to keep the body horror to a medium level. I tried to find a perfect balance of horrifying but also still readable. Would you guys want more body horror, or less, or is this a good amount? Updated: 5/01/2024 *just realized that I forgot to add the part I was supposed to add*
The heart monitor beeps with a steady rhythm. The model’s ECG reading dip, but that’s normal for her species. You study the model asleep on your table, and take your place.
Turning to your interns, you adjust the fit of your gloves as say, “Are you ready?
From the other side of the table, Lys nods her head with such vigor that you’re afraid it would fall off. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be!”
Heme takes their place next to you, wheeling the cart within your reach. “Aren’t there supposed to be more people here?” they ask, adjusting the fit of their mask with their shoulder. “We don’t even have an anesthesiologist present, and the technician dumped the tools and left without a word!”
Sighing, you take another look at the screen, and monitor the patient’s ECG readings. Just a couple of decades ago, you wouldn’t even be allowed to take five steps into a surgical suite, but in your death, you stare at the state-of-the-art Vox technology heart monitor.
“This was dumped at the last minute. And the Vees paid a hefty amount for the best,” you say, smiling to yourself. “I guess it doesn’t help that most of the staff have clocked-off for the night already.”
“It really doesn’t,” Heme says. You think they frown, you’re not actually sure. It’s hard to tell with masks on, but Heme sounds like they’re frowning.
“On the bright side, this is a special case, and special cases require special means,” you say. “Stick around, and I’ll make sure to show you something amazing.”
Lys squeals, jumping a bit, “I can’t wait to see your work.”
You turn to Heme. “Tell how you were guided into stopping the bleeding by Doctor Neisseria.”
Heme straightens, round their shoulders. “Hemostatic dressing for the capillaries,” they recite. “Then Lys clipped the bigger vessels, and Doctor Neisseria used an electrocautery for any that we missed.”
“Good,” you say. “Lys, is this your first time using a clip?”
“…Yes,” Lys tells you. Even with a mask on, you could tell she was sulking.
You eye the cart between you and Heme, double checking that the technician brought everything you requested for. “It shows,” you say. “Practice every chance you get. Make a deal with some poor and down on their luck Sinner who wouldn’t mind making a deal for permission to poke around whenever you want. They’ll heal on their own if it’s not too severe…or don’t—I mean, that’s how I did mine.”
Lys blinks at you. “I’ll…keep that in mind.”
Your shoulder slumps. “…Shall we just begin?”
Heme hands you a needle driver, the needle already clipped to it. A bunch of suture forms around your palm. It’s study, and made of pure Sinner Magical Energy, or just magic or whatever. It comes out of your and you have full control, that’s all you need to know.
Heme and Lys lean closer to observe the threads you make.
I don’t get to do this often.” You turn your head, motioning to the detached arm placed on the side. The skin has been stretched and the jagged and stringy muscle fibers sticking out tell you it’s been ripped off rather than slice. The radius protrudes out into the air, jagged and sharp. It would have hurt this model quite a lot. “Steady her arm please.”
Lys snatches the arm, holding it with confidence as she steadies it. “This is so cool.”
Heme hums. “Cool in a gross way.”
“Whether your patient is awake or not, a steady hand is key,” you say. “When you pierce your needle, be sure to do it right at the epidermis when dealing with the skin. Too deep and you’ll puncture the arteries or nerves.”
Lys brings the arm closer, and you do the first suture that will connect the limb of Velvette’s model. Valen-something apparently tore her up, but it wasn’t enough to kill her. So, they rushed her into the Emergency Room three days before this poor girl’s debut, and dropped her into your care with her arm and leg in an ice box.
You sew the model’s arm. The threads around your fingers are light, but sturdy. You entwine some around your fingers like some puppet master for better grip. Blood vessels, bones, nerves, and muscles. Not a single cell escapes your control.
You quiz your interns from time to time or tell them to take a closer look at where the vessels stick out the muscles, making sure they’re able to observe how a proper reattachment is conducted.
You study the threads connecting the arm to its body There are thousands of loose sutures. One single pull, and it will be completely reattached.
You shift your shoulders and crack your neck, giving it a slight stretch. “How long has it been?”
Lys glances at the clock behind you. “Five hours. I think it’s almost sunrise.”
“Be ready to be here for a while,” you say, rolling your shoulders. “The leg will be more complicated.”
Heme groans and their shoulder slump. “I guess I should just be thankful the model is mostly humanistic.”
You pull on the singular thread, and the stitches shorten until the arm is fully connected to its base. A thing line is the only indication that any limbs have been detached.
The door swings open and you snap your head at the sound.
“Hey doc!” The little Egg Boi saunters into the room, an envelope in his tiny hands. “I got something for you.”
Your feathers crack and sharpen. “If you wish to keep your shell,” you hiss at him, “you will leave this room before you contaminate it further.”
Egg Boi #04 wobbles a bit. “I was told to give you a message.”
A headache forms on your temples. You want to massage it, but that would contaminate your gloves. “Lys, show the egg to the observation room. Show him the microphone.”
Lys pouts a bit but exits the surgical suite.
Heme grabs the leg, and you begin again. You pause to take a deep breath. The threads don’t just appear out of thin air—they’re created because you will them to take shape. It gives as much as it needs to take from you.
Egg Boi# 04’s voice echoes on the speaker. “I have a note for you.”
“Read it then leave.” You pierce the tibia bone with your needle (special hell needle, you guess. Normal needles definitely cannot pierce bones) and connect it to the model’s leg.
Your concentration does not waver, even as Lys enters back into the room.
“My dearest good doctor,” Egg Boi #04 reads. “What a helltastic day for –"
“Stop!” you exclaim, and the threads you’re producing fizzle a bit, “Is that from Alastor?”
“Uhhh…yes?”
“Give me 10 minutes.” You sew the model’s leg just like before, starting from bones, then vessels, the muscles, and finally skin, but this time at a much faster pace.
Thousands of strings connect the detached leg to its place.
Heme gawks at you. “I thought the leg was more complicated?”
“It is.”
“It took you five minutes to sew everything,” they say. “Why did it take the arm until sunrise?”
“You wouldn’t have been able to learn anything if I went too fast.” You hand the needle driver to Heme, who takes it with eager hands “I trust you will be able to close for me?”
“Yes!”
“Go around the skin—remember not too deep,” you say. “Once it’s all connected, just one strong pull and the threads should work their magic. Lys, once she closes, you can practice your knots.”
The door closes with a swing. You discard your gloves then peel off your protective layers, but you keep the scrub cap on your head.
The Egg Boi waddles into the room, threatening to tip any moment. He holds up Alastor’s note and you’re forced to bend when you reach for it.
You open the envelope and sigh. “This is a letter, and definitely not a note,” you say counting all the pages jammed into the envelope. “Notes are small pieces of paper, and not fifteen pages of paper scribbled back-to-back.”
You take one deep breath, flaring your nostrils as you contemplate your marriage choices, and begin reading.
Heme enters the holding room as you’re reading through the last page.
They take a look at the pages you’ve read. “Ohhhhh a letter?” they say, discarding their mask into the trash. Their gloves are next. “Who is it from?”
“My husband.”
“Why a letter?” Heme asks you “Why not just shoot you a text or a phone call?”
“He mumbles to himself when he writes, and he just loves hearing his own voice.” You turn to the Egg Boi once you’ve read the last word. “Tell Alastor I’m busy—I can’t leave work to go to the hotel on such short notice!”
“Right….” Heme leans against the sink. “Management will be dropping by this afternoon.”
Your eyes squint. “This afternoon? I was told there'd be visiting tomorrow!”
“Yes, they informed you last night,” Heme says. “It’s tomorrow now—morning, actually.”
Your eyes twitch as your turn to Egg Boi #4. “Tell him I will be early. Now go, run along now, least you get scrambled.”
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Bustling sounds from the other side of the circus themed doors. You knock then take a step backwards, least Vaggie greets you with a fist to the face.
A crash sounds from the inside. The door slams open, and Charlie pops out, hair disheveled and sticking out in odd places. You see the relief oozing into her. Charlie’s smile relaxes and her eyes stop bulging at the sight of you.
She says your name with enthusiasm. “It’s just you! I am so glad to see you.”
You wave at her. “Hello, Charlie. It’s good to see you as well.”
“Would you like to come inside?” she says at the same time another crash sounds. Charlie’s smile turns sheepish. “I hope you don’t mind the mess.”
“It’s quite alright,” you say with a polite smile. “Who am I to judge another person’s mess? It can be quite entertaining sometimes.”
Charlies smoothens the stray hairs sticking out. It does little to actually fix it. “Sooooo what brings you by? Not that you’re not welcome here! Everyone is welcome here! We don’t discriminate at –”
The door swings wider and Alastor pops out with that permanent smile of his. “I called her here.”
Alastor helps you out of your coat as you enter through the doors, and drapes it over his arm. “I came early. I hope you don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the crudely attached banners. Strobe lights are being taped to the railings. Its brightness makes you blink. “Are you throwing a party? Is that why you called me here?”
Alastor hangs your coat on the rack. “We’re preparing for a sudden guest,” he says. “It seems we’ll have to delay our plans, only if you’re happy with waiting for me.”
Charlie shrinks and her eyes water a bit. “Alastor…,” she says with a frown. “If you have plans, that’s alright—go. We can manage without you here!”
“Not at all, this is where he needs to be right now,” you tell Charlie, placing a hand on her shoulder. Her smile brightens immediately. “Who will be the special guest today?”
Charlie fiddles with her fingers. “We…invite my…dad.”
Alastor twirls his microphone. “The King of Hell himself.”
“Oh,” you start, “the demon is coming here?”
“That’s actually Satan,” Charlie says with a smile. “Dad often gents confused with Satan but they’re not the same
“Oh…So, Lucifer is coming here.”
“Pretty much.”
You laugh a bit—you’re not even sure why. Maybe you shouldn’t have laughed. It sounded so awkward, even to you. “Well, how can I help? If it’s alright with you, of course.”
Charlie’s eyes brighten, and she shakes your shoulders. “Are you sure?”
Alastor grabs Charlie’s fingers with the tip of his own and pry them off you. “I’ve already come all this way,” you say, and turn to your husband. “I’m sure we can make the most out of this situation.”
Charlie leaves to change her clothes, and hopefully brush her hair while she’s at it.
Alastor offers his arm, and you loop your own around his, even when you know it’s unnecessary to escort you to a living area that’s five-feet away.
He leaves you, walking to the kitchen with a wave of his microphone.
The hotel looks the same, just more diverse colors hanging around. Niffty stalks past you without a word, engrossed in her task of sweeping the floor. Angel Dust or Vaggie don’t seem to be around, nor is Husk at his usual post. Only a one-eyed cat keeps you company.
On the table, deflated balloons are left forgotten with two pumps resting next to it. You take your seat, and complete the unfinished task.
You’re on the third balloon when Alastor presents a mug to you.
He leans over the chair, reaching his arms to place that ‘Oh Deer’ mug on the table. It’s difficult to meet his eyes when he leans so far in front that his whole face is upside down.
His hair hangs in the air, and your husband looks goofy in such an awkward position that you can’t help but laugh. “You look awful this hellish morning!” he says, and his grin widens until his teeth show. “I thought you could use a bit of brightening up. You’re practically dozing off in the chair.”
“Thank you,” you say, a small smile on your face. “The coffee smells good.”
Alastor swings back, and lands next to you. “I know we agreed to leave such tasks to you,” he says and he waves his arms as he talks. “But you look ready to drop dead any second. Poor Niffty had swept about a hundred feathers on your short walk from the door to this chair—Long day?”
“Longer day, actually. Yesterday’s long day turned into a late night that bleeds into today’s early morning.” You take a sip, and revel in its taste. Even after all these years…his coffee still tastes like acidic bean water. (If you smile, then that’s your business.) “The coffee tastes good.”
Alastor crosses his leg, cracking a laugh hard enough for his eyes to bulge. “You didn’t even try to check if it’s been tampered,” he says with that same wild smile. “Are you that tired, my love?”
You smile at him, lips curving bright and wide. “My deerest, did you place something into my coffee?”
“Not at all.”
“That’s disappointing,” you say, taking another sip. “That suit of yours could use some brightening up! A splash of this bean water would add such an interesting texture to it.”
“We’ll it good to see you’re not tired enough to lose your way with words,” Alastor says, smiling at you. “But if you’ve had a ‘longer’ day, you could have sent the Egg Boy—"
“It’s Egg Boi, my deerest.”
Alastor squints, his brow furrowing as he does. “That’s what I said.”
“You said Egg Boy, deerest,” you tell him, taking a longer sip than usual to drown your laughter. “Those eggs are called Egg Bois. They have different numbers—except Frank.”
On the corner of his cheek—just where it’s always been—Alastor’s smile strains. “You said the same thing as I did.”
“Egg Bois.”
“Egg Boys.”
“Egg Bois.”
“Egg Boys.”
You chuckle a bit, and take another long slip. “If you say so.”
Alastor rolls his eyes and he makes it a point to show you he’s doing so. “You could have mentioned to that egg creature that you’d had a long day.”
“Management was dropping by my floor today.” You grab another balloon to pump it.
Alastor’s head tilts, and you hear the small crack of his neck. Static fills the air. “Well, I’m always glad to be used in such a way.”
You roll your eyes, making it a point to show Alastor that you’re doing so. The sharpened feathers and the glow of your eyes were just for the fun of it. “There is another reason why I dropped by the hotel.”
“Do tell!”
You knot the end of the balloon and throw it to the side. “Who am I to refuse the summon of the Radio Demon?”
“His wife.”
You snort, and toss a balloon at him. One balloon becomes two and now you’re just tossing whatever balloon you could get your hands on.
Alastor pops a balloon and static emits from his microphone.
You cross your arms, staring down at him. “I was going to use that.”
Alastor grabs the second pump.
An hour passes too soon. They always seem to do around your husband. The balloons are stringed and weighted. Razzle and Dazzle—the two lambs Charlie made a point to introduce you too—put up a…er… interesting banner on the railings.
Sir Pentious slithers out the kitchen, a tray of cookies in his hold. The Hazbin Hotel looks lively. The space looks decent—live in — as if Sinners actually gathered and used the space. (Those are your favorite kind.)
Sir Pentious offers a cookie to you, and you munch on it. You give him a compliment for its taste.
By the entrance, with Vaggie to her side and Alastor at the other, Charlie takes a deep breath, her nostrils flaring as she does.
Vaggie gives her a smile, and Charlie opens the door.
The bringer of sin rushes to his daughter, drowning her in a hug.“Chaaaaarlie!”
Charlie squirms in his hold. “Heeeyy, Dad!”
Egg Boi #13 and Egg Boi #08 twist their poppers and confetti pops into the air. Niffty grabs her broom, sweeping the floor.
You watch Lucifer, and try to hide your smile. The King of Hell looks different from any paintings or drawings humans make. They can’t seem to capture how shy he looks. How awkward. No painting has been able to capture his search for a place to belong.
This Fallen Angel has blond hair. He’s not the brunette you thought he’d be, which was a shame for you rather liked brunets. It makes sense he’d be blond. Afterall, Charlie has blonde hair as well, and she is the spitting image of her father.
If someone told you it was Lucifer who birthed her, you wouldn’t be able to deny it.
“It’s finally nice to put a name to the face.” Alastor shakes Lucifer’s hand with his microphone, wiping his own right after. “You are much shorter in real life.”
You turn aways, coughing to hide your laughter as Alastor banters with Lucifer.
Husk rolls his eyes at you and grumbles. “Of course, you’d find that hilarious,” he says. “Everyone knows it's smart to insult Lucifer.”
You place a hand on your cheek. “Guilty as charged.”
Charlie brings Lucifer to meet your group. He calls Vaggie, Maggie. Smiles awkwardly when Angel Dust calls him a ‘short king’. Lucifer waves back when Husk waves at him, and shrinks when Niffty jumps and pulls him by the collar. One by one, you’re introduced.
You extend your arm for a handshake.
Lucifer smiles awkwardly, shrinking a bit, but reaches out to shake your ha—
The chandelier crashes to the floor.
And oh God…
Lucifer begins to sing.
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Your hair sticks to your face.
Water droplets splash on your clothes. You accept your fate, and trudge through the rain, even as your fingers freeze. The breeze blows your hair, making you nuzzle into your damp coat. You should have brought an umbrella, or taken a cab. Just your luck, a sunny day turns into a drizzle that turns your shoes into a lake. You hate damp socks.
An umbrella blocks the rain from your soaked clothes.
You spring out of its coverage, spinning to look behind. Your arms jerk out, causing you to wobble because of the wet pavement. (That’s totally not embarrassing.)
“The point of an umbrella is to stay underneath it when it’s raining.” Alastor smiles, giving you a small wave.
You wave back.
“Oh…hello,” you say, adjusting the straps of your bag. Alastor takes a step forward, and you jump backwards. “I’m alright—I can manage by myself.”
“Why don’t you tell me all about your very capable self from underneath the umbrella,” he says, twirling the umbrella. “Come on, now.”
You dip your head inside. Alastor inches closer, but there’s still a respectable gap between your shoulders. “I’m really alright,” you say. “I quite love the rain.”
“Yes, the rain is a beautiful thing to frolic underneath when you’re in a meadow,” Alastor says. You can’t help but feel that Alastor is scolding you, “not when it splashes off buildings and drips off power lines and other items that have not been cleaned. We are in the city, my dear.”
“You really don’t have to.”
“My mother would roll in her grave and haunt me when she finds out I left a lady in the rain.”
“But—”
“Constant refusal is quite rude, you know,” he tells you. “And I still owe you one favor.”
“You really wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all,” Alastor says with a smile that makes you smile back. “If it makes you feel more comfortable, I’m happy to leave my umbrella in your umbrella-less but capable hands, and be on my way.”
You shake your head, inching closer. “We can share if you don’t mind walking.”
“I love walks. It keeps me stimulated.”
Alastor follows your every step, covering you with an umbrella that was meant for one. You glance at his shoulder, and turn away to hide your frown. Half of his shoulder sticks out into the rain, gathering droplets, while not a single speck of water slides on you.
Alastor is giving you the bigger half of the umbrella.
“Would you mind holding this?” he asks.
“Not at all,” you say, and take a hold of his umbrella. Alastor is taller, and you have to quirk your arms higher to avoid hitting his head.
Alastor slips out of his coat. You watch him slide it off his shoulders and pull his arm out the slits. He’s wearing a vest—a fine vest as well. Alastor flicks out stray waterdrops. He leans close enough for you to smell his cologne. He drapes his coat over your shoulders, grabbing the lapels to adjust its fit. His body heat lingers. It’s warm…he’s warm.
Alastor pries the umbrella from your grip with a wide smile. “Before you say anything, the only response that I will be accepting is, ‘thank you’.”
“Thank you, Alastor.”
“You’re welcome.” He adjusts the angle of the umbrella, careful to keep every drop of rain from touching you, even at the cost of his own clothes. “Whatever made you decide to walk? There are cabs and busses for a reason.”
“It wasn’t that bad when I started,” you say. “Plus, I was eager to get home.”
He keeps his eyes ahead. “It’s still quite dangerous.”
You step over a puddle, narrowly missing it. “Dangerous?”
“Yes!”
“The sun is—well, was still up when I began walking.”
Alastor hums, shaking his head. “Murders and thieves do not magically dissolve in the sun.”
You smile to yourself. “I’m sure you’re quite knowledgeable on that subject.”
Alastor turns to you, and his hair shifts as he tilts his head. “Pardon?”
“I heard your voice on the radio this morning,” you tell him, adjusting his coat around your shoulders. “I caught the news segment.”
“Well,” he starts, his smile widening. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “you must have been busy when I mentioned the forecast then.”
You inch closer as much as he’ll allow you, trying to keep a respectable distance, but still close enough that Alastor doesn’t need to sacrifice his clothes to keep yours dry. “Speaking of radio, what brings you to this area?” you say. “Isn’t the radio station all the way across town?”
Alastor laughs in a way that makes you wish you’ve kept your mouth shut. “Have you been tracking my movements?”
“Not at all,” you say and try to mimic his laugh. It comes out strained instead. “I just know how to read a map.”
Alastor steps over a puddle. He places a hand on your back, guiding you away from it. “I just had some business in the area,” he says and drops his hand. “I turned the corner and I found you walking all alone in the rain!”
You smile, careful to keep your eyes forward. “I’m thankful to whatever beings that fated our paths to cross.”
Alastor leans closer, eyeing your hands. “Been gardening recently?”
You glance at your nails, at where stubborn soil sticks underneath the cuticle. “No…not at all,” you say slowly. “I guess you could say…light treasure hunting…?”
“The more I get to know you, the more I find myself dumbfounded at your wide range of hobbies.”
“I hate seeing things go to waste.” You try to ignore the squish of your socks. You are definitely never forgetting your umbrella again. “For example, your garbage is my treasure.”
“What a wonderful philosophy to live by.” Alastor meets your eyes and smiles.
You smile back. “Indeed, isn’t it?”
Alastor’s hold on the umbrella stays firm, even as he follows you around the corner and across the street. Not a single drop of water lands on you. “What treasure were you able to find?”
“You have a lot of questions for me today,” you say and ignore the thumping of your heart. “I feel as if you know me more than I know you—I think that’s rather unfair.”
“Well, what would you like to know?”
You move your foot to avoid puddles of trash. The city could really use a good cleaning. “You know so much about my hobbies. So, I’d like to know some of yours.”
“There isn’t really much to tell,” he says. “The radio is my life.”
A strong breeze has you sinking deeper into Alastor’s coat. “You have your hunts.”
You glance at Alastor, and oh…his hair is as brown as his eyes. Wisps of hair stick to his face because of the rain.
Alastor’s brows furrow a bit, but you swear his smile turns sweet. “Those are more of… a necessity than a hobby.”
“In what way?”
“The woods around my area have a lot of… let’s say… mammals that don’t necessarily belong there, it is as if someone just leaves them from time to time. I hunt a few here and there to thin the population a bit.”
You smile to yourself. “Well, tell me about the radio—What is that like?”
He places his free hand on his chest. “Why, it is the proper medium of expressing oneself, of course.”
“It must be nice having such a creative outlet,” you say. “Sometimes, I wonder how you’re able to come up with the most exciting segments.”
“Sadly, you would think after all these years of bringing success and money into the company, I would be allowed to have more control over my content.”
You step over another puddle. A small tug on Alastor’s arm, and he steps over it as well. “That is quite sad to hear.”
“For example,” he starts, adjusting his hold on the umbrella. “I wanted to have this whole portion just on crimes that have been committed.”
“Like… the news?”
“No, not at all,” he says. “I was thinking more on the lines of old cases like robberies and murders—some solved, some not. Unfortunately, the director said it would be too gruesome.”
“It really depends on how you choose to present it,” you say. “I think audiences would love a good mystery with a satisfying conclusion.”
“That is exactly what I thought so as well!” Alastor’s smile widens. “I came across this story…Oh, well I wouldn’t want to bother you with the details.”
“I’d love to hear this,” you say, chuckling. “Show me how you would present it.”
“One winter night,” he starts off with that never ending smile on his lips, “a child—no ordinary child—disappears in the middle of the night. There were no signs of a break in and nothing other than the child was taken from the home. Not a single dust was out of place.”
“Wait, what was so special about the child?”
“I will tell you,” he says. “That child was the two-year old son of aviator Charles Lindenberg! Some newspapers called the child the ‘Eaglet’ because his father had become the first man to fly across the Atlantic Oce—Oh, why are we stopping?”
He angles the umbrella, careful to keep you dry. You smile at him and point at the small apartment complex behind you. “This is where I live.”
Alastor doesn’t frown, but his smile droops a bit. “Oh…” he says. “I was getting to the most interesting portion of the story—what a shame.”
“A shame, indeed,” you echo. “You have such a captivating way of conveying your words.”
“Thank you.”
The rain splatters on the umbrella. It’s not going to stop anytime soon. Your socks are damp and it’s starting to get colder. “Would you like to finish what you were saying?”
Alastor’s smile widens, just a bit, but it was enough for you to notice. “On the month of May, after continuous searching, a tiny little corpse was found abandoned on the side of the road. Forensics determined that the baby was bludgeoned to death.”
“It’s quite funny,” you tell him. “You talk of such gruesome murders but I find myself captivated.”
“Indeed.”
“Thank you for going out of your way for me, Alastor.” You slip out of his coat, returning it to him. It’s cold—has it always been this cold. “Will I see you around?”
“Of course,” he says. “We always meet in such unconventional places.”
You duck out of the umbrella, giving him one last smile and head up the steps. A twist of a doorknob, a few flights of stairs, and you would be home. You were tired, your socks are soaking, and the back of your clothes stick to your skin. So, why…why do you find yourself running back into the rain?
“Wait!” you find yourself exclaiming.
Alastor covers you with his umbrella. “What’s wrong?”
‘I… I may have a problem.” The words are slipping out of your lips. “Are you busy by any chance?”
“Not at all.”
“What about your business in the area?”
Alastor raises his eyebrows. “I can always come back.”
“Would you help me?” You bite the inside of your cheek.
“Of course.” Alastor brings the umbrella closer to you. “What can I do for you?”
“I think…” you begin to say. Stop. Stop! You should turn back; head inside where warm clothes and a bath awaits you. “I think I’m in the wrong area.”
Alastor laughs, and it’s that same breathy and light laugh as before. He drapes his coat over your shoulder once more, and adjusts its fit to secure it around you. It’s the warmest thing you’ve ever experienced in your life. “I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I left a lady stranded in the rain.”
“Not at all,” you say with a smile that you do not remember smiling. “Lots of scary thieves and murders out there—apparently they don’t disappear during the day.”
Alastor nudges you along, down the path, to a destination either of you have the faintest idea where it will end.
Your feet stay locked in its place, and you hold Alastor in your gaze. (His bowtie is crooked, and even with his coat around you, he looks presentable. His vest matches his shoes. You note how his smile is asymmetrical, and how his eyes are still as brown as his hair. Alastor’s glasses are frosted, but he doesn’t seem to mind.)
“Are you alright?” Alastor asks you.
“I’m fine. It’s just….” You shake your head and smile. “It would be a waste to forget this.”
“Come on,” Alastor says in a voice that is oh so soft. He offers his arm, and you hook your own around his.
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“Motherfucker!” Husk curses into the air, his ears quirking as he does. “Would it fucking kill you to be gentle with that shit?”
“I am being gentle.” You stare him down, keeping the towel pressed firm against his foot. “Would you want to know what it’s like when I’m not? I’d be very happy to comply.”
“………No.”
“Then settle down, Husker,” you say and use your free hand to grab the forceps from the hotel’s medical kit. “This will be much easier if you stay still…or don’t and give yourself a harder time. I’m not the one with glass sticking out of my foot.”
Husk sinks into the clinic bed, sulking as he crosses his arms. He picks on the pillow, fidgeting with its seams. “Bitch.”
You raise your eyebrows and huff. “Virgin.”
Husk’s fangs show when he growls. “I am not…grandma.”
Your feathers bristle. It’s smart to keep Husk talking, even if hurling insults is the way to do so. If it keeps him distracted, you won’t complain. “I died in my late twenties…or was it my early thirties — I honestly forget.”
The blood on his foot begins to clot, and you toss the towel to the waste basket. You walk to the sink, rinsing stray droplets of Husk’s blood with soap.
“Settle down then, grandma,” he says with a triumphant smile, and you roll your eyes. “Today, it’s your memories. Tomorrow, it could be anything.”
You plop on the clinic chair, waiting for your hands to dry. “Yes, it would make sense you’re familiar with the signs,” you shoot back, “considering you lived long enough to be called Pawpaw — Is that why you’re a cat?”
Husk barks a laugh, his wings flaring. He grabs the pillow and tosses it to you. It hits the side of the chair and langs on your lap. You pick it up and toss it back at him. “At least my husband didn’t walk out on me for several years without so much as a word.”
You chuckle, and settle his foot on your leg for better access. Taking your forceps, you brush away slivers of glass from Husk’s foot …or would this be his paw?
You clip a shard of glass, and glance at him. When Husk doesn’t whine like a little bitch, you pull a shard and drop it to the metal pan across you. “At least my marriage lasted even through death, Arachnid Simp.”
Husk rolls his eyes. You smile when his whiskers twitch. “Where did you even learn that word?”
“I see you’re not going to deny it.”
Husk sinks deeper into the bed.
“This wouldn’t be happening if you—I don’t know—wore these things called shoes?” You pluck another shard of glass. Husk tries to jerk his foot away, but your hold stays firm. “They were invented a long, long, time ago, and were created to keep your feet protected.”
“Stop talking as if I’m a child.” Husk frowns and his teeth stick out. “Wearing them feels weird.”
“I guess they kind of are weird.” You grab a fresh towel when blood squirts out of Husk’s foot. “You die and then suddenly waking up to see you don’t have toes
A beat passes between you. “Do you…do you not have toes?”
You toss the towel, and pick out the last shard. “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.”
“What does that even mean?” Husk growls, running his palms over his face.
“I…have absolutely no idea.”
You reach into the medical kit, grabbing some dressing. You peel the plastic and toss it to the trash, and press it against his foot.
Egg Boi #03 waddles up to you, a gauze roll in his tiny hands — you weren’t aware the little egg creature was in the room. You thank him with a smile, and wrap the gauze roll around Husk’s paw then his ankle. Satisfied, you clip it in its place.
“You’re all done,” you say. “It might be weird to step on it for a few hours, but it’s not impossible. The glass didn’t puncture you too deep.”
“Good to know.”
“Oh…and just in case, the amount of blood you saw isn’t anything to be scared of. There’s just a lot of tiny vessels on the foot. That’s why it took a while for it to stop,” you say and toss him a new set of gauze rolls and pads.
Husk stares at the items. “I don’t know how to use this.”
You stare at him, leaning into the chair. “Just slap the square on the skin and roll the gauze around your foot.”
Husk hops out of the clinic, keeping pressure off his injury.
It takes a while to clean up after yourself, but Egg Boi #03 keeps you company. The little egg speaks a lot of nonsense, but it’s entertaining nonetheless. You flick the lights, and Egg Boi #03 follows behind you.
The chandeliers had been dragged away, and the glass and debris cleared off the carpet.
Mimzy’s hug makes you take a step back.
You squirm in her hold, placing a placating hand on her shoulders.
“I am sooooo glad you are here!” Mimzy exclaims, shaking your shoulders. “This is like one big reunion, ay. Just between you and me, that Lucifer is a real looker—shame on Alastor for not warning a gal. I would have dressed better, and who knows? Maybe I could be the Queen of Hell. Ha!”
Mimzy grabs your arm and drags you to the bar. Husk pours you a drink with a nod, and stalks away. Seeing him hop up the stairs makes you laugh.
You swirl your drink. “It’s always good to see you, old friend.”
“Not that old!” Mimzy swats your arm, a huge grin on her lips. “And there’s no need to lie to me, darling. I doubt you actually feel that way.”
“Well, I still have those burn marks on my wall from the time you decided to play bartender with matches.”
Mimzy barks a laugh, and her legs kick. “C’mon you can’t still be blaming me! If I remember correctly, it was Alastor who brought out the matches.”
Angel Dust walks up to you with Sir Pentious trailing behind him. You wave.Sir Pentious waves back, his hood flapping open.
“Mind if we join ya?” Angel Dust asks.
“Not at all,” Mimzy says. “I’m always weak to such lookers.”
Angel Dust takes the seat next to you and pushes back his hair. Sir Pentious takes the one behind him. “Sooooo, you two and Alastor run in the same circles.” He takes a drink. “And you guys are friends with him?”
You take a sip of your own drink. “You could describe it that way.”
“Well, those are your words, not mind, but I think it fits.” Mimzy glances at you, a knowing smile on her lips. “But our good doctor here is more than just—Hey! Why do you look so surprised?”
“Well, I just didn't know he had any of those. He's been here a while and is still a big, creepy mystery,” Angel Dust says. Sir Pentious nods, his head squeaking as he does “What's his deal?”
Mimzy is happy to explain tall, dark, and creepy’s ‘deal’.
“But before that, he was the prime bachelor of my day,” Mimzy says. “Not a single lady wouldn’t want a taste of that twink. But eh… I wouldn’t wish marriage with Alastor on even my worst enemies. It would be a real shock when you die and find out your hubby’s got a real screw loose.”
“Well, it wasn’t a shock to me,” you say, rolling your eyes. You swirl your drink—hmmm, it’s good to know Husk still knows what you like.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” Mimzy chuckles nervously. She scoots closer, elbowing you lightly. “You happy he’s back? I still remember the few months you’d visit my place to look for your deerest, most darling Alastor, Mimzy at the bottom of a bottle.”
Your eyes twitch. “Quite pleased actually,” you say and force a smile. “It’s great to finally see my husband again.”
“Husband?” Angel Dust chokes on his drink.
Sir Pentious tilts his head and his hat slides off a bit. “Oh you’re married?”
You show them your ring, wiggling your finger. “Indeed.”
Sir Pentious puffs out his chest. “I would love to meet thisss husband of yours,” he says. “If you cannot be my rival, he can fight in your stead.”
“That wouldn’t be a smart idea
Mimzy stares at him. “He’s not the brightest is he?”
Angel Dust drops his drink with a clink. “Pause,” he splutters. “Shut u—” He coughs, still reeling from his drink going down the wrong pipe. “Shut up. Plause. Pause!”
Sir Pentious frowns, and his tongue sticks out. “No one elssseee is talking.”
“There is no way,” Angel Dust says. He turns to you, eyes bulging. “I refuse to believe that Freaky got hitched.”
Sir Pentious gapes, and his hoop opens. “Alastor is married as well?”
Mimzy slaps her forehead and points to you. “He’s married to her!”
“You are mess’in with me,” Angel Dust says. “Well, you can’t trick me. I refuse to believe it, toots.”
Mimzy takes a swig of her drink. “No one’s mes’in with ya,” she says with bright eyes. “They had a big white wedding and everything. I even got to bless them with my singing.”
“I don’t believe you.”
Mimzy glares at Angel Dust, a hand on her hips and her noise in the air. “You calling me a liar?”
You place a hand on Mimzy’s shoulder. “It was a good day, wasn’t it?” you say.
“Could’ve been better without the rain,” she says shrugging.
The lights flicker. Static fills the air, making your skin buzz. The bar glows a faint green. “The rain made it sentimental actually,” you say and glance up the stairs. “We quite like the rain.”
Angel Dust crosses both sets of arms. “I thought you said you were friends.”
“I said partners,” you tell him. “Alastor said friends.”
Angel Dust blinks at you and sighs. “So, you married him? Like you’re his wife.”
“I am, indeed!”
“Are you sure?”
“I sure hope so,” you say, crossing your legs. “It would be weird not to be sure considering I was there in a white dress, walking down the aisle.” Mimzy barks a laugh, and the feathers on her head sway. A part of you hopes she topples off the chair.
“Uh…Is this something we should know?” Angel Dust asks. “He’s not going to try to kill me because I learned about this right?”
“We’re not trying to hide it, but we don’t broadcast it either,” you say. “And well…no wife likes to be introduced as a ‘friend’.”
Sir Pentious’ tongue sticks out. “Does Alasssstor own your soul or something?”
You empty your drink and revel in the taste. “We got married back when we were alive.”
Angel Dust reaches across the bar, grabbing a whole bottle off the shelf with his long arms. He pops open the cork and takes a swig straight from the bottom. “I still have trouble belive you,” he says, squinting his eyes. “I just…I can’t!”
“Your belief, or lack of, won’t change the fact that I have a ring,” you say. “And it’s not really for you to believe, now is it?”
“Why…?” Angel Dust’s mouth quirks into the cutest frown. “Why…ya’know?”
You sigh and place a hand on your cheek with a smile. “He makes me laugh.”
Angel Dust makes a face, and coils back like he’s been shot.
“Oh he’s a total kitten,” Mimzy says with a bright smile. She inches her glass closer to Angel Dust, and he fills it up for her. “Catch him in a good mood or pour him a drink and play some jazz and he’s totally harmless.”
“You still shouldn’t toss caution into the air, Mimzy” you say. “If I were you, I’d be wary about trusting Alastor just because he likes cleaning up your mess.”
Angel Dust crosses his arm, and his eyebrows quirk. “Ain’t he your hubby?” he says. “Isn’t there this whole spiel about trust and love and faith and all that other boring vanilla shit.”
“He wouldn’t be the Radio Demon if he could be trusted by just anyone, now would he?” you say. “It still crosses me when I remember how he lied to me.”
Angel Dust’s eyes shine. “You said no wife likes being introduced as a ‘friend’.”
“Yes?”
“It must have crossed you quite a lot, huh?”
You shrug, a bit confused. “I mean… I wasn’t really a big deal at the end of the day.”
Angel Dust’s smile widens and that golden tooth of his shimmer. “I want to know everything.”
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Despite the rain, clear skies show the moon, not a cloud in sight.
The flashlight clipped on your collar shines on your path. Your boots sink deep into the mud, but that’s alright. A few inches of goo won’t stop you from your destination. You adjust your leather medical bag—double checked that there are gloves inside.
Between those two trees, your treasure lies buried.
You lay your kit on some nearby stones and reach in for your gloves. You dig until bits of the cadaver’s skin stick out. You brush the soil of his chest and peel open the flaps of his skin. The underside of his skin has blood vessels attached to it. It was worth cutting out the fat to have a glimpse.
Superficial fascia connects his muscles to his dermis. You take your probe and disconnect the thin filament. It reminds you of spider-webs.
You discard your probe and exchange it for the bottle of formaldehyde. You can’t study the whole body, not when it’s exposed to the elements. His fingers are starting to rot, but that’s alright. The chest is all you need, for now. So, the chest is all you’ll preserve.
The cheesecloth you placed on him last night is still damp. Good, that means it’s been sanitized this whole time. You take the cheesecloth and wife it against his open cavity, sanitizing every surface you can reach.
The formalin stings your nose and burns your eyes. It makes you cough, but you push through the pungent chemical.
You peel off the cheesecloth and use it to spread formalin into the deeper crevices between his skin and muscle.
Good. There are no maggots yet. It means you still have time.
You discard your gloves for a fresh pair and prepare your tools. You take your forceps and clip the scalpel blade onto the handle. You lay all your tools on a clean cloth for easy reach.
A human’s adipose tissue buildup is thicker than animals. This man’s fat is soft, easily squishable. Sadly, you’re not here to study his fat.
The scalpel blade is balanced perfectly. Throughout this Earth, no… not just Earth, but Heaven and Hell as well, nothing will ever be as perfect.
You slice through his adipose tissue, discarding it behind you, carving the cadaver until a nice rectangle opening forms. Muscles are grey, not like the red color printed on textbooks. You run your fingers along the smooth fibers of his pectorals. It’s slimy. That’s probably moisture mixing with the formaldehyde.
You quirk your shoulder to adjust the angle of your flashlight, still running your hand on his pectoral.
There, on the side of the chest where a muscle resembles a fan, do you find what you’re looking for.
Taking your probe, you define the muscle. You don’t use your scapple—never a scapple, because it could slice the fibers. You’ll scrape off the muscles later when it’s time to move on to the systems.
You take a pen and write your notes.
Muscle name: Serratus Ventralis. Description: The Serratus Ventralis appears to be a fan-shaped muscle, just like Hyman writes it to be. Although he’s not describing humans, I think it looks the same. Will double check to see if such similarities are indeed correct. Just like the book says, I can see the muscle extending anteriorly and posteriorly from the scapula and to the walls of the thorax. The Serratus Ventralis appears to be divisible into anterior and posterior portions, with the anterior originating deeper into the body. (Will cut open if there is still time.) The posterior border seems to be where it originates from, and while it is buried by other muscles, I think it originates from somewhere between the ribs. Origin, Insertion, Action: Origin: Textbook says it originates from the outer surfaces of the upper eight or nine ribs. (Will double check once I’ve moved on.) Insertion: The muscle fibers appear to move upward to the side. Inserts along the anterior surface of the medial border of the scapula Action: If it indeed is inserted from the scapula, this could mean that it could draw the scapula, forward, backward or against the body.
You flip to the previous page, and cross out Serratus ventralis. You move on to the muscle on your list: Xiphihumeralis. Based on the name, the muscle should pass through the xiphoid process to the sternu—
“Is this what you meant about my trash being your treasure?”
You startle, jumping back until a tree hits you and there’s nowhere else to escape. Run. Run. Run! Your heart screams at you, hammering in your chest. No one is supposed to be here. You’re supposed to be alone. You were careful—not careful enough, apparently.
Alastor emerges from the trees.
He waves at you when your gazes meet, but you don’t wave back. He’s smiling. “Hello,” he greets you with a gentle voice that strikes your core. It would be foolish to mistake his gentleness for kindness. “And yet again, I’m forced to comment on how you have such interesting hobbies.”
You press deeper into the tree, even if a knot digs into your back. “This….” You pause, trying to find your voice. Do you run? “This isn’t a hobby. I’m merely studying.”
Alastor drops a bag on the ground. It looks heavy. “A man?”
“A cadaver,” you say, careful to keep your voice steady. You cannot let this man see any cracks. “They’re already dead, aren’t they? Wouldn’t it be a waste to let them rot like this? At least now, their sorry lives will be making a meaningful contribution.”
The admission of your crime was easy to say. You don’t want to know what that means about you.
Alastor laughs. It’s not that breathy and light laugh he had earlier. This one is lighter, more elated. “Please, tell me more.”
You harden your heart, searching for any speck of bravery. “Why would I?”
Alastor smiles until his teeth show. The moon makes his brown eyes glow—you did not think it would be such an attractive color. “I’m the one holding the large knife.”
You glance at his hand, and oh…that indeed is quite a large knife. It’s not even a kitchen knife, but a proper hunting blade meant to kill. “I see you’re resorting to threats,” you say and you don’t know why you do. It’s not really a smart idea. “I did not think you, a man, would feel the need to say such things to a woman.”
“That was barely a threat,” he says. “I’m just curious to know your motivation to dig up trash.”
“I’m studying—that’s my reason.”
Alastor waves the knife as he talks. “Are there no other dead bodies for you to prey on?” he says. “Don’t hospitals have an area specifically to keep the dead?”
“Only morticians or medical students are allowed access,” you say. “I am neither.”
“Why not become one then?”
“Women as doctors are still a relatively new phenomena,” you say. “There is not a single medical school in this area that will allow me to study, nor are there any that won’t bring me into debt.” Your blood boils and it replaces your thumping heart. It still beats in your chest, but it’s not because of fear. “I needed to find a way to learn, to study, and textbooks could only describe it in words. I want to see for myself.”
Alastor plays with the tip of the knife. “Sounds like a classic case of lusting for knowledge.”
“If lust is to be my sin,” you start and a wonky smile appears on your face, “pride would be yours. A classic case of judge, jury and executioner.”
“I do not need to explain myself to you.”
“Well, you are holding the larger knife,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “Anything more you’d like to know?”
Alastor hums at you. “How did you figure it out?”
“A little bit of a suggestion?” you say, and you can’t help but smile to yourself. “You should buy suspicious items at different times and places. Your turn—How did you know I was here?”
“A little bit of a suggestion?” he echoes laughing like he’s told the funniest joke. “You shouldn’t have told me where you lived so easily. I thought I would have to hang around your clinic for a few days before I got your address.”
“I made sure to be careful.”
“You weren’t in the slightest,” he tells you. “Even an animal is harder to track. It was quite a surprise to see you heading in this direction.”
“Wait…,” you say slowly. “Hang around the clinic? You…you were stalking me?”
“I wouldn’t say stalking,” he says, putting his arms up. “And if we’re pointing fingers, you would have had to follow me around for a few days to learn where I buried my trash.”
Your eyes drift to his bag, and then to his knife. Realization hits you like a cruel bus. You face heat. “You!”
“Me?”
“You lied to me!” you say, venom lacing your words as you puff. “You had no business in the area, nor did you randomly spot me! You followed to kill me, didn't you?”
Alastor smiles at you.
“Oh my God!” you scream at him, throwing your arms into the air. You point at him, glaring “You’re still going to kill me?”
“I can’t exactly let you leave, my dear,” he says, rolling his eyes. “What did you think?”
You stare down at him from your nose. “Don’t be so brainless,” you spit, crossing your arms. “If you would use this thing on your head called a, ‘brain’, and use it to think, you would be able to deduce that you’re currently not in cuffs.”
Alastor glares back at you, tightening his grip on the knife. You don’t give a single flying fuck.
“Since you are adamant on not using your brain, I shall do so for you,” you say, voice dripping with sarcasm. “If I wanted to rat you out to the coppers, wouldn’t I have done so already? Hmmmm?”
“Don’t speak to me as if I am a child.”
“I wouldn’t have to, if you aren’t thinking like one,” you say. “Why would I tattle on someone for giving me what I want.”
Alastor gives you a dry smile. “So much sarcasm to the person who does so.”
You cross your arms and lean against the tree. “I suppose I should be thanking you.”
“Will you?”
“No,” you say. “I don’t thank liars.”
You smile to yourself when Alastor rolls his eyes and furrows his brow. That strained smile of his is an extra bonus.
“If you’re going to kill me, be quick with it,” you say. “I’d like to die with my dignity as a lady.”
“How curious,” he says. “You’re not going to try and run? Fight me off in some clever way? Those are always the best kinds of hunts.”
You roll your eyes, making a point to show him that you are doing so. “That would be a waste of our time, wouldn’t it? And I think you’ll forgive me if I am not exactly keen on giving my murderer the satisfaction of experiencing ‘the best kinds of hunt’.”
Alastor laughs, breathy and light this time. He tosses the knife into the trees and puts his arms up as if surrendering. “It seems you have made me change my mind,” he says. “Not many are able to do so—especially not when I’ve settled on a hunt.”
“What an honor then,” you say, smiling dryly.
“Indeed, it is.” He takes a step forward, and when you don’t run, he walks to you and brushes stray dirt off your shoulders.
“Why change your mind?”
He smiles, inching closer to you. That is for me to know,” he says. “But, what I will say is I know potential when I see it.”
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
“Someone, please, kill me again!” Angel Dust massages his forehead with one arm, using the other to empty the bottle. His third arm reaches into the bar shelves for a new one. You stare at his arms and wonder just how it got to be so long. “You’ve got to be shiting me right now. That’s your example? That’s your final answer?”
You pick at the wooden table, suddenly finding it hard to meet his eyes “Yes…?”
Angel Dust chugs his bottle at your answer. Mimzy avoids direct eye contact, choosing to study her empty glass. Even Sir Pentious keeps his gaze locked to the floor.. You bite on your cheek, letting out a soft huff.
If they didn’t want to know, they should not have asked.
“Out of all the misery he’s caused and will be causing,” Angel Dust says, “you think that Freaky ly’in to you about his reason for walking you home was the best possible example.”
“Yes?”
Angel Dust takes a deep breath. “Let’s be clear, okay? I’ll rephrase what I said, so listen closely,” he says. “Alastor lied about – and let me get this right—he lied to you about why he was in the area, and that’s why – hold on, bear with me – and that is why you were angry.”
You cross your arms, huffing a bit. “You make it sound stupid.”
Mimzy sighs, shaking her head with amusement. “That’s because it is, darling.”
“It is not!” you say, pouting. “It’s a very valid reason to be cross.”
Angel Dust takes another swig of his bottle. “It’s the fact that you weren’t angry that he was going to murder you in cold blood for me.”
You throw your arms into the air. “Okay, so it might not have been the best example,” you say, tapping your legs. “But that isn’t exactly my fault. Alastor is strangely honest.”
Angel Dust gapes at you. “No, he is not!”
“I don’t know, hun,” Mimzy says, leaning against the bar table. “Alastor kina is.”
“You won’t get the truth if you don’t ask,” you say, nodding your head. “And when you do ask, Alastor will either say the full horrifying truth, say it in a way that’s vague but still considered to be true, or dodge and not answer your question.”
Sir Pentious tilts his head, and he keeps a hand on his hat to keep it from falling. “And that is why we should not trust him?”
“There is no we, my dear,” you say. “That’s why you shouldn’t trust him.”
The hotel trembles.
You startle in your seat, gripping the table for stability. Mimzy clutches your arm, and you grab hers. It’s a small reassuring gesture that would make you smile at any other moment. Someone pounds on the door. You snap your head towards the entrance, nearly giving yourself whiplash. The hinges creak with every bang, and you watch with horror as the wooden frame begins to crack. Whatever wants to go in is determined to do so.
“MIMZY! We know you’re in there, you lousy bitch!”
You lock eyes with Mimzy, glaring at her with bristled feathers. “Really?”
“Whooops…?” she says with the most innocent smile. You grab your glass and throw it at her head. Mimzy snarls at you, searching for a stray bottle. She never finds it.
Glass rains down to the floor. Dust fills the space, and you cough when it irritates your throat. The whole hotel is in disarray. With a yelp, you jump away from the bar when one of the bone heads detaches and crushes your seat.
Mimzy scurries behind the bar.
A portal rips open in the middle of the room…Huh, that’s pretty cool. Vaggie steps out, Lucifer and Charlie behind her. “What is going on?”
Mimzy explains what she did. You roll your eyes when she does.
Fireballs shoot out the broken windows.
Motherfucker! You are going to kill Mimzy. You press against the wall to avoid Sir Pentious’ long tail from smacking into you as he slithers about. Angel Dust scurried away at the first sign of trouble. Of-fucking-course this happens today. Niffty scurries about, cleaning every debris in sight, You grab her by the collar, pulling her away from a stray fire. Niffty squirms out of your hold, and hops away. Another fireball keeps you from pursuing her.
“We’re under siege!” Sir Pentious exclaims, slithering about. “Take cover!”
Alastor pops out of your shadow, jerking your arm to pull you away.
You flap your arms to regain your balance.
Alastor keeps a steady hand on your shoulder, his hold on you firm. His touch keeps you grounded. Your eyes flutter to where you pressed against the wall, but Alastor pokes your cheek with the tips of your fingers, nudging your face to keep your eyes on him. The hotel burns in chaos, and you dig your fingers into the fabric of his coat.
Alastor holds your gaze. He smiles at you softly, but you see the hardness in his eyes and the tension is his jaw.
You try to give him your best smile. “Much better?”
“No, not in the slightest” he says, eyes squinting into a harsh glare. Alastor doesn’t frown, but his teeth bare into a snarl. “Are you hurt?”
The hotel trembles, and more fire crashes through the windows.
You try to turn to the chaos around you, but Alastor leans to the side, blocking the surroundings with his face. “I’d like an answer.”
He smoothes the feathers on your hair, and you lean into his hold, shaking your head. “Not a single feather out of place,” you say. “Thank you, my deerest.”
The hotel trembles once more, but you keep your gaze locked into Alastor’s.
“All of you get a safe distance,” Vaggie says, spear raised.” I’ll take care of this.”
Satisfied, Alastor drops his hand from your head and turns to the door. “No, my dear. Leave it to me.” Radio static warps the air around you. His eyes morph into radio dials. “It’s time I remind everyone why I am here.” He has the smile on his face—that same smile that tell you he’s on the hunt. It makes you buzz.
Mimzy pops her head out. “Ugh, finally!” she says, rolling her eyes. “Took you long enough.”
Tendrils shoot out of Alastor’s back and it waves around the air as if owning a mind of its own. His bones break with audible cracks to adjust to his expanding size. “A reminder to all, not to mess with the radio demon!” His teeth stick out when he smiles, and the little ‘x’ on his forehead appears.
Alastor laughs and begins his kill.
You rush out when your husband crawls out the broken doors, bolting from the bar and out the entrance. You watch Alastor. He grabs a shark with the tips of his fingers and uses the others to pull him apart, slowly, painfully, with a grin.
“Mimzy…” you say, slowly.
Mimzy shrinks next to you. “…Yeah?”
Alastor’s nails elongate and he pierces the shark, letting his blood trail down, reveling in his screams. “I really appreciate everything you do for me.”
A leg sails across the air, it’s bone sticking out. You smile to yourself as Alastor hunts down his prey. Blood paints the flowers red when his tendrils wag like a happy tail.
You’re faintly aware of Lucifer and Charlie arguing behind you.
The show is over too soon.
Alastor shrinks, twirls his microphone and stretches.
Mimzy runs, the first to approach Alastor. You don’t hear a word they’re saying, but Mimzy jabs her fingers into his coat. She leaves with a frown and a middle finger pointed at him.
You walk closer to your husband, a smile on your face. Alastor inches to you, bending close enough for you to reach his bowtie. The fabric is smooth against your fingers as your straighten it for him. “Much better?” you ask.
“Indeed.”
“You put up quite the show,” you tell him. “You looked absolutely riveting, my deer.”
Alastor’s smile widens, and he offers his arm, guiding you back into the hotel. “Did I?”
“You always do, my love.”
And oh…
Another song.
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Lucifer leaves, taking his singing with him.
As quietly as possible, you grab your belongings and check that nothing is missing: wallet, flip-phone, bus card, pieces of mint, various essential items, and lastly, your umbrella. You step out of what is left of the Hazbin Hotel’s front doors and stifle a yawn. Today’s excitement has gone on for too long. It was time to go home.
Drops of acid fall from the sky, a light drizzle forming. It was a good idea to stash that umbrella in your bag.
Alastor slithers out of your shadow, and covers your heads with an umbrella. “Did you happen to forget your umbrella?”
You force a sheepish smile on your lips. “I did, actually,” you lie to him. “But a walk seems rather lovely today.”
Alastor twirls the umbrella, his smile widening. “May I join you for your walk?”
“Are you not still working?” You glance behind you, observing the hotel.
Angel Dust sweeps glass off the carpet. He steals glances from time to time, trying his hardest to avoid looking in your direction—he doesn’t try hard enough. Your eyes meet, and you brush your stray feathers from your hair. A not so subtle way of showing off your ring. You stick out your tongue.
Angel Dust laughs, shaking his head with amusement.
Alastor adjusts the umbrella, angling it to block the prying eyes from inside the hotel. He raises his eyebrows, looking at you with a questionable glance.
You offer your most innocent smile. “I think they’re going to need a new door.”
“I think it’s time I clocked out,” he sys, inching the umbrella closer. “I shouldn’t have them getting too dependent on me.”
“Are those not grounds for prime picking?”
“I wouldn’t exactly be a doting husband if I left my wife to walk alone in the rain,” Alastor tells you.
“Doting husband?”
He nods, leaning closer to you. “Yes. Was that not your condition for our marriage?”
Your eyebrows furrow. “Did I say that?”
“You did.”
“Are you sure?” you ask, humming a bit. “I do not remember saying that at all.”
“Well, it wasn’t for you to remember,” he says. “And in any case, I did not call you to the hotel to prepare for some party.”
“Then why did you call me here?”
Alastor meets your eyes and his smile widens. “Allow me to join you, and you shall find out.”
“You’ve piqued my interest, deerest,” you say. “The best walks are usually the ones that are shared. It doesn’t hurt that you have an umbrella.”
“What would you do without me?”
You roll your eyes, and take a step closer. “You always seem to remember for me.”
Alastor fiddles with the umbrella. “What did you do for several years—get pelted by acid?”
“You would know the answer to that had you been present for those years,” you say and you don’t fight the coy smile that forms on your lips.
Alastor hums in displeasure. “Well, in any case, I only have this one umbrella.”
“I guess we’ll have to share.”
“Yes, it seems we will.”
Alastor offers his arm, and you loop your own around his. He doesn’t need to take precautions to ensure your clothes stay dry nor do you have to for his own attire, not when you press closely against each other. The umbrella covers the both of you just right.
You rest your head on his arm. It’s nice. Warm. Even if it was as thick as a stick. His bones press into your cheek. Your eyes flutter into a close… just… one… second…
Your knees buckle causing you to trip.
A frim grab of your waist keeps you from the ground. Your nose crinkles when you collide with Alastor’s chest. Finding strength in your legs, you dig your foot into the ground and stand.
Alastor keeps his hold on your waist steady, and you don’t move from his hold.
“Before you say anything—you are not fine,” he says. “I don’t want to hear anything else but an agreement.”
You peel your face from his chest, meeting his eyes to give him the brightest smile you can muster. It doesn’t come out as you hope. “It seems…It seems it will be my turn to postpone our outing today,” you say. “The excitement of the day seems to be catching up to me.”
You fell asleep while walking,” he says. “If it was not for me, you would be on the pavement.”
“Then it is a good thing I am no longer alone.”
A single tendril emerges from his back. It wraps around the umbrella’s handle, keeping it secured over your heads.
Alastor’s hand shifts from your waist to your back. You feel his other arm snaking down your legs, trailing your skin until he reaches the back of your knees.
Alastor lifts you like a bride.
Well, you actually are a bride…his bride, specifically.
Alastor continues the walk, holding you in his arms. You lean into him, and he places a chin on your head. “Your pointy chin is poking me, my deerest,” you say but you don’t move to push him off. “It’s digging into my scalp.
His chest rise and fall as he laughs, and you feel every bit of it against your cheek. “I could always drop you right over this puddle.”
“That wouldn’t really be part of the doting husband image, would it?” you say chuckling into his suit.
“No, I guess it would not.”
Smiling to yourself, you nuzzle deeper into the crook of his neck. “Hey, Al,” you mumble softly, “tell me a story.”
At the corner of your eyes, you see Alastor glance at you. His gaze lasts a second before he turns back ahead. “It was 1929,” he says. “The beginning of the glorious Great Depression.”
You roll your eyes even if he doesn’t see it. “You are the only one I know who calls the Great Depression ‘glorious’. People were starving, and we almost got fired from our jobs.”
“That’s because it was a great year.”
“Because you got to see the sufferings of the masses?” You laugh softly. “That’s definitely something you would do. I can practically hear you laughing at the way they try to claw their way out of misery, only to fail spectacularly.”
“Because we got married that year,” he says. Even if you’re wearing a coat, and Alastor wears his gloves. Even with layers of cloth between your skin, you still feel the way Alastor caress your with his thumb. “Can I continue my story now or would you like to bicker about your failing memory?”
“Continue.”
“So, the start of the glorious Great Depression,” he says. “That day, I saw an ad for the local zoo. I wasn’t doing anything important, so I decided to support my local animals.”
“How kind of you,” you say, stifling a yawn.
“Indeed it was,” he says. “I stalk through the animals. Looking at every malnourished species they kept locked up—”
“You get to the alligator enclosure and to this day, swear that you saw it do a backflip,” you mumble softly, eyes dropping. “That’s pretty good for someone you claim to possess failing memories.”
“Alright then. I shall find another.” Alastor hums as he thinks, and his chest vibrates as he does. “Summer of 1916–long before I met you.”
“You don’t need to tell me that,” you say, huffing. “I’m well aware of the year we met, my deer. So, Summer of 1916?”
“It was a dark and stormy night. Weird for the summer seasons. Usually, the house becomes a furnace, but it was terribly cold,” Alastor tells you. “During that second night of the hurricane, a knock sounds from the door.”
“Oh… I’ve heard this as well.” You pick on the lapels of Alastor’s coat, tracing the white lines.
“You have?” Alastor raises his eyebrows
“Yes, it was your neighbor. His tree fell into the window and you and your mother ended up sheltering him for the night,” you say. “Then, you’ll tell me that he gifted you three pounts of cheese the next week.”
“I guess there’s nothing left to tell.”
You lean back to meet his eyes. They’re no longer brown. Once, a long time ago, you thought it was your favorite color. Now, you don’t think you’ve ever had a favorite color. You just liked his color. “Nonsense,” you says. “We are definitely not that old. I’m sure there should be be at least a few.”
“Alright, this one began fifteen years ago,” he says, tightening his grip on you. “I was waiting outside St. An’s, and a Sinner came out. It was my first time seeing a cow. It was quite a conundrum because — Oh, I think you’ve heard this already. Have you?”
Your eyelids are heavy. “I have.”
“And you choose not to inform me?”
“Can you tell it to me again?” You sink deeper into his hold.
“Of course, my love.”
Alastor’s steps lag until he comes to a full stop. He holds you in his gaze as the acid rain splatters grow stronger. It’s just you and him in this tiny bubble of an umbrella.
His eyes flicker, touching every inch of this scene. You do not know what he is thinking.
“Are you alright, my love?” you find yourself asking.
“Yes,” he says. “I’m just…trying not to waste, that’s all.”
“Come on,” you say in a voice that is oh so soft.
Alastor continues his story. You don’t hear the end of it.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
I am excited to know what you guys think about this chapter. My replies and inbox are always open for any questions. I always get so happy to see my notifications. It's a bit addicting actually. Thank you to everyone who has interacted with this story. Every like, reblog, and reply means so much to me. Part 4 will be poasted as soon as possible
Partners in Death…and Life
Part 2: Radio Will be Dead if He Doesn’t Explain Himself
| Part 1: Radio's Not Dead |Part 3: Not Everything You Hear From The Radio Should be Trusted| Masterlist | ao3 Parings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem!reader, established relationship, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm still trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) Reader is in hell for a reason. Hello, I’m back :D This was supposed to be published yesterday, but I got busy. Anyway, thank you for all the likes so far. It motivated me to really finish this chapter. Also once again, I have everything planned out, it really is just a matter of writing it down. *Updated 28/02/2024 Just added some stuff that I thought made sense*
Flick…
Flick…
Flick…
Lights flicker above you with a slight buzz. You drape an arm over your eyes when the gleam of the bulb blind you.
The hardwood floors chill your skin, but it’s the sensation of casual loose clothing on your back that warrants your exhale in peace. Just a second. You just need a moment on these hard and chilling floors to ground you… just… one … single … moment to…
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
A stray feather pricks into your arm. The vane tickles, but the barb digs your skin. You’ve called this body ‘yours’ far longer than your human one, yet the feathers that grow on your skin still astound you. You twirl it around your fingers, and wave it in the air like a wand—it’s a proper animalistic feather.
Your nose scrunches into a hard scowl, and you jump up, stomping into the kitchen toward that untouched coffee mug on your counter. Grabbing it, you splash the contents down the sink, letting it flush down the drain.
The sponge is rough against your hands as you scrub and you scrub and you scrub and you scrub and you scrub and you scrub a̵̯͒n̴̤͝d̶̫͌ ̶͚̇y̶̤̎o̷͔̓u̶̢͐ ̸̓͜s̵̪͗c̸͎͂r̷̀ͅṳ̴̎b̸͖̀ ầ̷̩̯͍̙̳̍͗͘ń̵̰̞̰̕d̴͇̻̮̫̝̓̎̈́ ̶̡̬̬̮̺͗͒́̌͑y̴̙̘̻͇̿̉̐͆ǫ̷͉̟̍̅̑̏ŭ̸̖͓ͅ ̴̛̝͇̭̥̌́́̂s̸̠̑̽̏́c̷̥̺̃̾̊r̶̲̯̈́̈̄͆͊u̵̼̝͕̼̇̍̈́͘b̶͍͖͖̐̾͝.
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
You rinse the mug, slamming the cupboard door shut when you drop it next to your own clean one. Fingers run through your feather-hair…hair-feather, or your ‘whatever that grows on your scalp’. Some questions you’ve stopped asking.
An audible grumble… well, uhhhhh…. grumbles from where your stomach is placed in this body, and you munch on your lips to keep the inhumane screech from erupting into the kitchen and breaking all kinds of glassware and little knickknacks that Alastor filled your home with.
(These days, the old trinkets collect dust on your shelves. There haven’t been any new ones in years.)
Chopping Hell’s equivalent of carrots calms you. (It’s honestly the use of some type of razor-sharp object that calms you. You’d prefer a different razor-sharp object, but a sharp knife is a sharp knife, no matter the size.) You chop until there’s enough food to make a proper and decent meal that your stomach will accept.
You crash on the couch, dinner secured on a plate, and flip the television switch. Light flashes into the room when you do.
Ad about some impish business—Not interested.
‘Yeah, I fucked your sister, So what?’ — Boring.
Cooking Venison with Vox— Lame.
Settling on the lifestyle network, you munch on your food. Some poor slimy creature flashes across the screen, and it's her home that will be remodeled because of…something. You’re not sure what that something was. You don’t care enough to find out.
The sounds from the television swap with the silence of your living-room as you take each bite. It’s one of the sadder habits you’ve picked up since purchasing this noisy picture box.
Your eyes wander to that half-filled coat rack, while your ears listen in on the show and that woman did not just say that pink would go with brown. Only your singular coat drapes on the hinge, when this particular design was made to hold two.
A commercial plays for some-thing called the Hazbin Hotel.
Your eyes are stitched to the screen until the final note of the song plays, and a different advertisement takes its spot. You take a sip of your drink. Just ą̷̖̯͈͂ ̷̡̧͚̤̩͎̙͇̞͓̟͈̤̝͉͉͉̘̉͐̓́̆́̇̍̐̿̈̄͜͜͜͝͝s̶̨̢̛̥̣̻̱̰̬̩̹̥̞̟̳̝͔͓͙̗̗͕̟͇̆̉̿į̴̡̢̠͇̱̤͔̙͎͕͛̑̓̒̀̔͆̓͂̃̚͘͘͠ṗ̶̡̢̨̳͙̦̮͍͓̻͎̲̪̲͕͛̔̐́̐̈́̒̒̉̎͛̆̈́̈́̉̔̑̃̕ͅ.
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
You blink, and you find your keys locking your front door. Already, your legs are trekking down the garden stones. A flower snarls at you as the gate locks with a click.
Another blink.
Huh…you’re on the bus.
The sign says it’s headed into the city. Living on the outskirts has always been beneficial for you. Not today, though. Today, the one-hour commute makes your feathers bristle.
You read the barely eligible address scribbled on the note, and pat your hair, smoothing the flared feathers sticking out. It seems…
Hmmmmm.
It seems you did not think this through. H-how…How are you going to get to the hotel?
Tagatha calls you a fossil for using one of those flippy telephones. You considered purchasing those fancy telephones with the lights and screens, and loud robotic voices telling you where to turn left, but learning to use a flip-phone brought enough stress for two lifetimes. You’ll happily stay a fossil.
Turns out, you don’t even need the address.
The Hazbin Hotel sticks out. It’s a humongous building with its name written across what you call the sky in blinding neon lights. Your vision zooms in, and you see that the hotel rests on a giant hill at the other edge of the city. Three large neon-lit arrows point to a crudely attached radio tower. Below it, a wooden ship hangs to the side. Circus light bulbs flicker with electricity.
The Hazbin Hotel is an eyesore – it’s exactly what Alastor prefers.
You reach the dinged-up metal gate on the bottom of the hill and reset your hand on the rusted latch. Trekking through the city took a lot, and you were already here. So, why are your legs frozen to the cement? Why does your heartbeat thump in your ears?
“Excuuussseeeee me.”
A snake towers over you. It’s your first time seeing such a slithery specimen as large as him. His hat rests on his hold, and it blinks at you. His hair … or was that skin … puffs out with two red sets of red eyes.
“Can I help you?” you say, warily. Sinners are in hell for a reason.
“Yessssh,” he says, his tongue slithering out. His flaps stick out, all four eyes staring right into your own. “I’d like to be a guessst at this hotel!”
You glance at the eye-sore that’s called a hotel. “I don’t work here.”
His flaps droop. The snake takes a deep breath, and slides the gate open, slithering in with determination in his … er… snake body.
You follow in silence.
The snake matches your pace. “Will you be a guest at this establishment as well?” he asks you. “Or were you given the same sssssuper secret mission?” Just like before, his tongue slithers out—what a funny little odd man.
Bangs grab your attention. When you focus your vision, you see an inky shadow servant striking a nail into broken wood. “Not at all,” you say slowly. “I’m just here to visit someone.”
His flaps open, and three pairs of eyes and a hat meet yours. “I am the great Sir Pentious!” he says with a proud hand on his puffed-up chest. “Inventor. Architect of destruction. Villain extraordinaire!”
You give him your name “….Doctor.”
“It is only the coward who attacks a battler of health.” His flaps droop as he sinks into himself. “You cannot be my rival, I’m afraid.”
“I guess that makes you brave,” you say, humming. The decorations for the hotel are rather dull. Drawn on the middle of the hill, a giant pentagram is etched on the ground. The flowers dwindle on the cliff edge, and do little to combat the grayness surrounding you. “What a shame to hear—I rather love good rivalries.”
The eyes on Sir Pentious’ hat brighten at the same time his own do as well. “Ssssso do I!”
One of the inky shadow servants waves at you.
You wave back.
Light streams from the glass doors. You blink a few times, adjusting to the sudden change of brightness. Circus-themed stained glass decorate the front entrance. One of the less tacky – but still tacky – designs of this hotel.
Sir Pentious taps the glass with the tips of his finger, clinking with each tap, and his eyes water in excitement. His nose crinkles when he takes a deep breath. You weren’t aware he even owned a nose. Sir Pentious fiddles with the flap of his hat, and bangs on the door.
Your smile strains after a minute of banging.
A young lady with long, white hair creaks the door open. You recognize her from the commercial.
Sir Pentious’ flap open and close with each word as he says, “Why, hello, my dear –”
A punch to the face is his reply.
“Oh dear!” you screech. Sir Pentious drops to the ground, and you kneel next to him, a steady hand on his slimy shoulders. “Have you no manners?”
This insolent girl points her spear and stomps a foot on Sir Pentious. She snarls, and her glare hardens.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Sir Pentious’ tongue slithers out as he holds a peace-sign. “I come in peacccccceeeee”
“What are you doing here?” Her spear inches closer.
“Vaggies,” another voice calls out. A blonde with a red pantsuit and a bowtie pokes her head, eyes in a squint. O-oh! You know this lady from the commercial. The Princess of Hell … Cady … Char …Charlie Morningstar! “What’s the problem?” Charlie’s eyes widen when she spots you and Sir Pentious, an honest smile drawn on her face. “Oh, hello again! And hello to you as well!”
“Can you please tell this insolent girl to get her food off this gentleman,” you spit, tilting your nose into the air. Your feathers sharpen when you bristle. “And your weapon away from my face.”
Vaggie takes her foot off Sir Pentious. She holds the spear close, but it’s away from your face.
Sir Pentious straightens into a stand, and the group prattles on.
No one bothers to help you. A huff escapes, and you brush the dirt off your skirt. Absolutely no manners. Insolent and ill-mannered. Would Alastor stay in such a place?
You’ve never laid an eye on someone as unique as this Vaggie. Her hair patterns are similar to wings. It’s almost unheard of to see such a prominent ‘x’. Her flared eyelashes resemble a bird. It strikes you silly. Almost everyone in hell resembles a human body with animal characteristics hidden somewhere. This insolent girl doesn’t appear to have any of that – only miniscule feathers made to appear native to Hell.
“Absolutely!” Charlie exclaims to who you think is Angel Dust. (The porn-star, not the drug. Obviously.) Sir Pentious nods with the sweetest smile on his face. There’s a squeak every time he bobs his head. That hat of his looks nervous. “This place is about second chances and who deserves one more than this…slithery…slippery…special little man.” Charlie takes a peek at you. “Oh, and this feathery…sheddy… and round-eyed woman.”
You do not shed.
You smile at Charlie, and give her your name, “…and I expect it to be used.”
Angel Dust whips to Vaggie. “Aren’t you supposed to protect this place?” he says and turns to you. “How are we even sure we can trust this lady – no offense, toots.”
“None taken,” you say, dryly.
Charlie’s eyes water when she turns to Vaggie, who easily relents with a sigh.
You’re thrust through the apple and circus-themed doors, squinting at the chandelier. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the design—it reminds you of those old rolled films. Charlie leads you and Sir Pentious further down the hall, all but pushing you in. Vaggie and Angel Dust lag a few steps behind.
Charlie waves her arms to go into an enthusiastic point. “So…this is our bar,” she says. Husk drops his drink, a scowl on his face, “and the bartender. This is the curtain, and this is the new wall after Sir Pentious broke the last one. And this is—”
Vaggie calms her down.
The bar clashes with the red wallpaper of the hotel. It’s almost as if someone just dropped it there, and etched it to the very wall. The wood is firm underneath your touch and feels exactly like what wood should feel.
You turn towards the bar and take your seat. Husk focuses on his drink. “Hello,” you say with a gentle voice that should not be mistaken for kindness. “It’s good to see you, old friend.”
Husk chokes and splatter out his drink, but you only smile at him. He coughs and his ears droop low. “Uh…yes,” he starts. “Good to see you as well.”
“There’s no need to be nervous.”
“I’m not.”
“Good.”
You run your finger across the skeleton wrapped around the bar post. A memory tickles your brain. This is one of the many specimens you owned. It took one whole month to strip the muscle off its tight hold on the bones, and another month just to clean, bleach, and wire together. The heads above the bar sign were a gift to you, and the skeletons were your gift back.
The neural spine pokes your finger as you tap each one. “I see you’ve set up shop here.”
Husk scowls, taking another swig of his drink. “Not much of a choice.”
“And tell me,” you start, “how long have you been here?”
Husk doesn’t answer you.
Charlie calls your name, and waves you over. “Over here,” she says pointing to where Niffty plays with some kind of one-eyes cat, “we have our maid—Niffty!”
Niffty hops on Sir Pentious. “The bad boy is back!” she exclaims, pulling him closer, eyes wide and shaking. A bead of sweat drops from Sir Pentious’ hat. “Never leave me again.”
“We’re about 80% sure she’s harmless….” Charlie prattles on.
“Hello, Niffty.” You smile at her.
She jumps off Sir Pentious, landing with a small ‘humph’, and strides to you with her pointy short legs. She calls out your name.
You squat, meeting her eye. “It’s great to see you again—Is Alastor forcing you here?”
Her eyes shine with an innocent type of glee. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” She claps her hands. “I get to chase all the bugs here.” Nifftly leans closer to you, giggling. “Can I be strapped to your table again? I love it when you slice me open.”
“Maybe next ti—”
Charlie grabs your arm, hauling you forward. “Oh! Uh, Alastor! Our gracious facility manager! You've met our newest guest Sir Pentious…hehe…,” she tells him. Charlie keeps pulling you, only stopping when you stand before a grand staircase. “These two will be our special wonderful guests!”
Alastor does little to show you what he feels, there’s just that same empty grin.
He bought a new coat, you note. This new one has white streaks on the new collar and less stripes. Guess some things were more important than others.
You slip out of Charlie’s tight grasp. “I think you’re mistaken, my dear,” you say. “I’m not a guest— just a visitor.”
You hold your husband’s gaze and greet him.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
“It’s good to see you,” you say, a smile drawn on your lips. “How are you doing on this wonderful morning?”
Alastor turns to you, drops an item into his grocery basket, and blinks. “I am amazing!” he says. He grabs your hand with his gloved ones and shakes it. His hands are warmer than you expect them to be. “Alastor. Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite the pleasure.”
You chuckle at him. “Yes, I’m aware of who you are.”
“Oh, how lovely!” He waves his fingers. “ are you on of my many fans?” His smile strains, and there, you see it, on the corner of his cheek. His nose flares and his smile takes the appearance of a snarl. Maybe it was the other way around.
“A bit,” you admit, adjusting your hold on the basket. “How are your stitches, Sir?”
His eyes widen—brown eyes, you note. “The good doctor!”
“I think you mean the good nurse.”
“Oh yes, yes,” he hums and inches the basket away from your gaze. “I’ve been taking my medicine, and replacing my dressing every three days, just like you said.”
“Good—that’s great to hear. No more accidents?”
“None!” He laughs. “And if one does happen, I’ll be sure to present you with an injury that is only hours old.”
A giggle slips through your lips. “That’s even better to hear,” you say. You clear your throat, tightening the hold on your basket. “I’d hate to take even more of your time. I’ll let you go on with your day.”
A firm grip on the basket handles keeps your feet planted on the glossy floor of the general store. “Not so fast, my dear. I think you still owe me,” he says. Your teeth bare into what you hope is a polite smile. “You promised to show me your marvelous embroidery the next time we meet! You’re not the type of lady to go back on your word now, are you?
“You sure do know how to put such ladies into a tight spot.”
Alastor laughs, breathy and light. “I assure you; I don’t mean to. I tend to get very excited about art
“Well, with you holding my integrity hostage, and the addition of such lovely enthusiasm, I find myself having trouble refusing.” You reach into your purse and pull out a clean handkerchief. “Sadly, I wasn’t expecting the general storm to be an art gallery, so this will have to do.”
And there it is again, that same breathy and light laughter. “They really do have everything in here
Alastor takes your handkerchief with steady enthusiasm, studying each stitch carefully. It’s one of your simpler designs—tiny flower bouquets scattered across the fabric. Your eyes are drawn to the contents of his basket: rope, strong acids, latex gloves, rolls of plastic wrap, and other such interesting items.
“You have such beautiful handiwork.”
“You can keep it if you wish,” you tell him. “I have thousands back home, and I’m always weak to such flattering compliments— a real boost to my ego.”
“Splendid!” Alastor slips the handkerchief into his coat. “I love receiving gifts from fans.”
You smile at him to hide your frown. You are not some fan-girl. “Of course.”
Alastor is following you.
The conversation ended several beats of silence ago, but he trails behind your every step. You skip the aisle where they sell produce, stop to grab some eggs, ask the butcher for 50g of chicken liver, and smile back when he smiles back. You sigh and lead Alastor to the end of the general store, and into an aisle.
You snatch a glass bottle of chemicals off the shelf—they really do have everything here. “Going for a hunt soon?” you ask, and read the label.
His smile brightens as he says, “Why yes! There was this wonderful prey that I spotted the other day, and I’m just dying to have his head hanging on my wall.”
You offer him the bottle. “You have a lovely coat. It would be a shame for it to be ruined by stains,” you say. “This always does the trick when dealing with the redder parts of my job.”
He takes the bottle from you.
“Take this as well,” you say and reach into your basket. “It’s the last bottle of 12% hydrogen peroxide in this store, but you need it more than I do. A ratio of fifty-fifty of this and a bit of hair developer in a bucket of water should brighten up your bones. Just let it soak for a day. Oh…and just in case, those two chemicals are safe to mix. You should avoid doing so, but an accident wouldn’t hurt you.”
Alastor offers his basket, and you drop the bottle along with the other hazardous substances. “You sound certain.”
“That is because I am.”
Fate has granted you a humorous shopping companion, and you decide to stop fighting it. Alastor follows you to the bread aisle.
You point to the top shelf. “Can you…?”
He drops the bread into your basket, and stares at you with what you think is curious tenacity.
“My father works as a butcher,” you say, sighing. “He prides himself on catching the venison he sells. We don’t believe in wasting a precious body, so we use it until there is nothing left to give. He came back from his own hunt and wanted to add another antler to his display
Alastor hums. “Won’t you need these then?”
“There’s still a bit leftover sitting in his workshop. I just came to get an extra bottle.”
Alastor continues to follow. “Do you often aid your father in his work?”
“Not as frequent as when I was a teen, but I still aid him when I have the time to do so,” you say. “It’s how I got to be so normal around a knife —the sharp ones are the best, they cut right through the skin, and with enough force, the bones as well. I keep a little collection of bones at home.”
“Such interesting hobbies you have.”
You pick up two coffee bags and hum. “Thank you.”
His bowtie is crooked. You point to inform him and reach out to straighten it. Alastor jerks away and spins to reach into the shelf behind you. “I rather detest owing favors, and you have done me two,” he says, offering you an entirely different brand of coffee beans. “I suggest you try this one. It’s flavors are far richer.”
You offer your basket and Alastor drops it right in.
You eye his basket once more. “Will that be all you’re purchasing?”
He nods, smiling at you.
You smile back.
Well, isn’t this just lovely? Well-dressed gentlemen really are your favorite.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
Charlie whips her head, mouth wide as she stares at you and then at Alastor. Angel Dust has an arm on his hips, his brows furrowed and mouth quirked to the side an awkward but rather cute frown. Sir Pentious’ hat squints at you with what you assume is confusion—you can’t really tell. Sir Pentious’s tongue sticks out of his bewildered and crooked frown. “Oh! How nice,” Charlie says after a beat. “So, you two know each other?”
“Partners,” you say
“Friends,” Alastor says
Your smile strains as you say, “To be called a friend by the Radio Demon is quite the honor.” Alastor wipes his monocle with a proud puff.
Angel Dust whistles, leaning on the railing with the first set of arms crossed, and the second propped on his hip. “Didn’t think Freak would be the type to have friends.”
“Neither did I!” You say with a loud laugh. “Well, that’s what I am – a f̵̼̎r̴͔̃i̶̦̍e̶͕͠ṋ̸̀d̶͚̋.” You smoothen your puffed-up feathers. “Apologies.”
More introductions are done. Charlie insists on giving Sir Pentious his first lesson on apology. It goes about as well as you think.
Charlie winces a bit “….Ooooookay,” she says and inhales to plaster a huge smile. “Why don’t we… uh… take a look at the kitchen!”
Angel Dust takes one look at Charlie’s enthusiasm, winces, and says he’s getting a drink.
Charlie’s death grip on Sir Pentious stays firm as you trudge to the kitchen. She stalls at every painting to explain its history, and introduces every crack on the wall, showing it off with an enthusiastic glee. Even the water-stained wallpaper gets its own special moment during the tour. (Where is that ill-mannered girl when you need her?)
You lag a few steps behind. “Alastor…”, you say as a greeting.
Alastor matches your pace, using his microphone as a cane. With the very tip of his fingers, he plucks a stray feather off your hair with a coy smile that reaches from ear to ear. “I’m sure you’ve been wondering how I’ve been fairing these last few years,” he says, spinning that microphone of his and waving his hand like some kind of street performer.
“Has it really been that long?”
“Yes, I know I’ve been absent for some time,” he starts. “It’s nothing serious; I assure you. It’s nothing I cannot handle as well.”
“My goodness, and here I thought you were occupied at work.” Your teeth flash when you smile. “But in any case, it’s quite… kind… of you to soothe what little worry this friend might have for you.” Alastor and his microphone laugh at you, but you hum with satisfaction when his eyes narrow into a glare.
Charlie and Sir Pentious wave their hands, calling you from across the hall, and you hasten your steps.
The kitchen intimidates you. So many large and metallic machines. You’re sure it would be a living hell should you ever need to operate such an unorthodox set of appliances.
Copper-red tables fill the space, and similar colored cabinets stick to the wall. Such peculiar stoves they have in this establishment. There seems to be no space for the gas tank, nor a gas burner, just some flat glass with weird markings. You prefer the appliances stashed at your home.
“This…,” Charlie starts, winding her arms to a point, “…is the kitchen!”
Sir Pentious’ flaps extend, his arms rocking with excitement. “Such lovely metallic inventions.” He slithers to counter with a dip that appears to mimic some kind of skin. There’s some type of yellow liquid. “This bubbly torture deviccceeee is my favorite.”
“Uhhhhhh…I love that you love the kitchen appliance,” she says with an honestly gentle smile. “But that’s actually an oil fryer.” Charlie crosses her arm into a big ‘x’. “But no torturing is done here, no siree.”
“What a peculiar shape for an oil fryer to be,” you say, taking a look. Alastor glances over your shoulder to take a peek as well. “And there’s so much metal around—did you run out of paint, perhaps?”
Charlie frowns, her shoulder dropping low. “I’d love to add different colors to the machine, but Vaggie says it would take up too much money and time.”
Her frown lasts a second before she’s smiling again.
“Oh oh oh! You should take a look around. See if there’s anything you might want to add.” Charlie drags you towards one of the cabinets at the back. “We each have a shelf dedicated to our own snacks, but I always love to leave cookies on the communal snack pantry.”
Charlie prattles on, introducing each section of the cabinet. You watch Alastor warily when he shows his teeth. He wiggles his fingers across the air, reaching towards the shelf where Charlie just mentioned Vaggie storing her personal snacks. You slam the cabinet door before he reaches them.
Soft static fills the kitchen air.
“Go on,” Charlie urges. “Take a look around – I know some species of Sinners have specific dietary needs.” She props a hand on her chin. “Like Angel! He can’t seem to be able to have any milk—I wonder why? But he just keeps drinking it anyway for some reason.”
Does the Princess of Hell not know what Lactose Intolerance is? Maybe because she’s never lived as a human. It’s quite humorous, you suppose. A hell-born trying to guide a human, with little to no insight about humanity. Could this be the reason why she’s so naively optimistic?
Sir Pentious’ smile widens, and so does his flap. “You’re… giving…me permission to poke around?”
“Er…yes?”
You open a random cabinet door, and huh…
On the shelf, towards the back, you have the same set of spices in your own kitchen. One of the bottles here has its label stained and fraying at the edges. Another bottle is nearing empty, and the corner of the cap has been chipped off. There was a time, when your own set of spices was stained with oil, and its label frayed because of the constant picking to the edges.
Yesterday, you threw out a set of unopened bottles of spices, its seal still clinging to the caps and brimming with unused flavor, and replaced it with the same set of sealed spices. It’s a waste of your money to keep throwing out something that you never use, but…but…you find it in your grocery basket every single time.
Alastor closes the cabinet with a gentle click.
Your smile fades, and he holds your gaze.
“You are shedding all over my kitchen floors.” Alastor presents you with a bundle of your feathers bunched up on his palm. His grin mocks you.
You turn away, heading where Charlie and Sir Pentious converse. You do not shed.
Alastor pops out of your shadow, towering over you as he inches closer. “Long day?” he says with a hum, that smile still on his face. “You don’t usually start molting until the mid-summer.”
“Oh yes,” you say with a hum, that frown still on your face. “This day has been quite long. How very generous of you to check up on this friend of yours.”
He holds the feathers he’s collected, examining them with a careful eye. “With this rate, you’ll be able to gift a whole pillow.”
Your frown deepens. “Lovely,” you murmur. “I’ll make sure to do so.”
Alastor twirls his microphone and lands it with a soft thunk. He studies you for a second. “Rosie’s last husband got eaten by a shark,” he says. “Not even a loan shark—just a proper dead shark. She swore vengeance on the creature for taking a bite before she had a chance to.”
“What?” you say, and you can’t help but chuckle. “Is that what happened to him? She would be so vague about it when I ask.”
Alastor draws a line along his face, mimicking a smile with his fingers. “Much better, indeed.”
Charlie insists on showing the view from the top of the Hotel. Her arms cross around your own as she chatters about everyone and everything. It’s refreshing to meet a soul as honest as hers.
The elevator ride is painfully slow. The music strains your ears, and this battered metal death box jerks with every floor.
Sir Pentious and his hat scowl at the ‘absolutely inferior ssssmmelting of this handle, Charlie’ and ‘this piss poor wiring. The endsss are not aligned to the proper sssssafety guidelineeeesss’ or something.
Charlie listens in on every word, nodding to indicate that she hears each and everyone. It makes you smile. Alastor picks at your stray feathers with the tip of his fingers, preening the areas you have difficulty reaching.
Moments too late, the elevator doors open with that heavenly ding.
“The view up here is helltastically a-mazing!” Charlie informs the group. “Alastor, you often hide up here or inside the radio tower. It’s really good, right?”
Alastor switches his hold on the microphone, swinging to catch it. “Quite helltastic indeed!” he says. “ I get to see the whole city underneath my very feet.”
Sir Pentious nods. “I, too, would love to sssseee the city underneath me!”
Alastor swings a door open, gesturing for the group to enter like a gentleman. Charlie whispers an audible ‘awww’ at the sight and saunters right in. Sir Pentious follows along, slithering behind her.
He shuts the door when you take a step forward, separating you from Charlie and Sir Pentious.
There’s still that never ending smile on his lips as Alastor strides to the other end of the hallway, playing with his microphone. You follow behind in silence. Alastor opens a different door, and this time, you step through.
Alastor closes the door, leaving you and him together, alone, on this flimsy balcony. He beams at you, taking a step forward—
You slap him.
Radio static glitches from his microphone. There, on the corner of his cheek, you see the strain in his smile. His eyes harden into a glare, his nostrils flare, and his smile takes on the appearance of a snarl.
The air around you starts to gray with static. Symbols carve themselves into the space.
You slap him again, staring down at him.
“Is that all you came to do?” Alastor says to you with a low snarl, but the symbols dissolve and his antlers shrink.
You turn towards the view, propping a hand on your chin. “Such harsh words for a friend,” you say with a sarcastic smile. “It’s a wonder why you don’t have more with such a dazzling personality. At any rate, it’ll be impossible to find yourself a wife.”
His eyes twitch, and Alastor strikes the ground with his microphone. “Well, consider it an honor,” he says, inching closer, mimicking your smile. “Not many can say such words to me, much less be able to strike my flesh
“Maybe they should—someone certainly has to.”
Alastor still has a smile—he always has a smile. You watch as his eyes morph into radio dials, and the absolute audacity of that man to look at you like that.
Your feathers sharpen and crack at the sight. “D̷̝̈́o̷̞͊n̷̟̂'̷̗̏ť̵͔ ̴̱̀f̷̳̓u̴͍̓c̷̛͕ḳ̵͝ ̴̲̽w̸̞̑í̵̞t̴̼̐ḥ̷͝ ̵̫͌m̸̻̔e̸̡͘!— you never have, so don’t start. Don’t test me—not today, my deerest,” you say, hissing at him.
“What is it that you want, exactly?” he says, glancing down at you. “Unless you are a child, I expect you to use your words.”
“You know I’m not just some friend — you do not allow yourself to make such connections. We’re partners,” you tell him, and you don’t know why you remind him when he should already know. Was it in fear that he forgot? “But you left without as much as a word.”
“Was it that I left? Or was it that I left you?” Alastor says with casualty as if to show you such dismissal, and oh…yes, your husband can be a cruel man, indeed. Time and sweet smiles made you forget.
You rub your hands on your face, taking one deep breath. “I want what I deserve—an explanation,” you say. “That’s all I need as your wife.”
It’s his silence that makes you turn away.
“I see…” Your face falls. “Perhaps, it was a mistake to seek you out. A fool’s errand.”
You study the sinners below. The whole city really can be seen from underneath your very feet. (You ignore the trembling of your fists. You’re a doctor, for fucks sake. Your hands don’t tremble…at least, they never have before.)
Hesitant, but gentle touches pick at your feathers. Alastor preens you with warm hands. “You are not a fool, my love,” he says. “I would not be yours if such were the case.”
You harden your heart for you cannot let this man see the cracks. “This is not what I wish to hear,” you say, voice steady.
Alastor does not answer you.
“Will you just stay silent every time?”
“Yes.”
Finally, you meet his gaze. You hold it as much as he holds yours. “ There is not a thing in this world that you do not do without reason,” you say slowly. “However, I’m not sure if your silence is because you cannot or if it’s because you will not explain yourself to me. Which is it?”
There is nothing on his face that you can read, just a small steady smile that tells you nothing. “I will not.”
“I know you, my deerest, and I know that you’ve never once led me astray.” Your grip on the railing tightens painfully. This day has been long. “Then all I need is your word that you will return to me with that smile of yours when you’ve accomplished what you need to do.”
Alastor smiles at you, twirling his microphone. “We can even shake on it.”
You shake your head. “This is not a deal,” you say. “This is your wife demanding that you do so.”
“Then it shall be done,” Alastor says, inching close enough for his warmth to spread. He turns to you and pokes his cheeks to indicate a smile. "You look much more radiant with one."
You bare your teeth at him, giving a dry smile. “Much better?”
“Indeed.”
You study the sinners below once more, but this time your hands stay steady next to Alastor’s own. Well, Charlie was correct, the view is helltastic. The entertainment district blinds you, but only for a second. And when you sharpen your vision, you can faintly make out acid clouds forming on the outskirts of the city. You should have grabbed an umbrella on your way out.
“I heard you on the radio today,” you say.
He glances at you, his smile widening ever so slightly with smugness. “And you came all this way for me?”
“Well, that is what good friends do for each other.”
Alastor points his nose to the air with a huff.
“I only jest, my deerest,” you say, chuckling at him. “ I came all the way here to see if I’ve been widowed a second time, or just dumped like a common rag.”
“Is that so?”Alastor hums with dissatisfaction. “I’m sure you mentioned something about not noticing such a long disappearance.”
You hold his gaze, inching your hand to cup his cheek. You stop inches above his skin, and your palm hovers enough for Alastor to feel the warmness you hold on your hands. “Don’t pout, my deer,” you tell him, softly, oh so very soft as you caress the air. “Of course, I noticed your absence.”
You clap your hands together with the brightest and most innocent smile you can muster.
“But if I told you that, my deerest,” you start, “I feared that big head of yours would implode if I fed your ego.”
Alastor laughs, and his real voice bleeds in as he does. “That humor of yours has been my most wonderful companion all these years.”
You smile with satisfaction. “My, my, you make such fine compliments.”
His smile relaxes. “I do, indeed!”
“Just as you say that my humor makes a fine companion,” you say as you laugh, bright and heavy, “that smile of yours has been mine.”
A knock breaks the moment.
The door swings open, slow and hesitant. Charlie pokes her head, and her hair droops to the sideways. Behind her, Sir Pentious waves at you. You wave back.
“Oooooooohhhh….yikes,” Charlie says, shrinking deeper into the door. “Am I interrupting? I could just go an—”
“Not at all my dear,” you say. “Come right in. You have such a lovely view, and things like this are better when shared.”
Charlie swings the door wider, sauntering right in, and grabs your hand, squeezing it. “You could live here as well!” she says. Behind her, Sir Pentious nods with the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. “We accept everyone.”
You flicker your gaze to Alastor. “I already have a home,” you find yourself saying. “And this place is far too close to the city. So much honking and blasting aren’t good for my ears.”
Charlie pouts, but she doesn’t press you.
The view is better when shared. Charlie points at every detail and explains everything you see. The sky darkens to a red, and too soon, it’s time to leave.
There’s a warm, but firm, hand resting on your back when you walk out the door, down the hall, and into the elevator. Alastor keeps his hands steady, even when you reach the common room.
Vaggie is the first to greet your group—well, it’s more appropriate to say she greets Charlie, and you just happen to be there. There’s a bag by her feet. “I was able to find the costumes you need for the exercise,” she says. “Even the giant lollipop is here.”
Charlie squeals. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Her excited gaze filters to you. “I have this wonderful game in mind, and then we could fo a bit of some of that good ol’ roleplay.” Angel Dust quirks a smile from the couch. “You should totally sta—”
“I’m afraid not,” Alastor says, drumming his fingers on his microphone. “I think it’s time for our visitor to head home. She’s had quite a long day.”
“Oh, of course. No worries!” Charlie says, giving you a bright smile—a real genuine and honest smile. “Feel free to come by anytime. The Hazbin Hotel’s doors will always be open should you change your mind.”
Vaggie scratches her face. “Before you go, I want to apologize for this afternoon,” she says. “It wasn’t right of me to be so hostile—I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, my dear. I understand,” you say quickly, ignoring the static behind you. “You were protecting something you cared about. I find great value in those who do.”
Vaggie smiles, and maybe she’s not too bad after all. “Thank you.”
From the couch, Angel Dust props his legs and waves at you. “And you’re welcome to open these doors any day.”
Alastor leads you to the door. You wave back at Niffty and Sir Pentious, whose eyes water as he frowns. Alastor’s hand stays firm as you trudge down the hill, past the rusted gate, into the city, and to the correct bust stop.
“You sure know how to find the most interesting groups of people, my deer,” you say. “Charlie and that hotel of hers are wonderful.”
Alastor adjusts his monocle. “Well, you know me. I see potential, and I follow it wherever it leads.”
“Should I be worried?” you say, chuckling. “The last time you saw potential, it ended with us married.”
“Not at all, my love.”
“You should continue to stay at the hotel,” you find yourself saying. “There’s just something about it—I think you’ll pick up quite a lot from your time there.”
His bowtie is crooked. You point to inform him, and reach out to straighten it. Alastor inches closer. The fabric is smooth underneath your touch. There’s stray lint on the shoulder of his coat, and you brush that away. You grab the lapes and adjust its fit, smoothing the fabric beneath your fingers.
“Much better?” he asks.
“Indeed,” you say, softly.
“I will see you soon,” he says, and you hear the unspoken promise and question hidden beneath his words.
“Good.”
Alastor tilts your chin with the tips of fingers. (And oh…oh. His gloves are off, and his hands are warmer than ever) He presses his lips on your cheek.
That blasted bus arrives too soon. You step inside, but turn to your husband and say, “Next time, when you disappear for several years, I expect to be informed and not just left with a vague note,” you say with a huff. “And when you return, I also expect to be the first to be informed.”
“Of course.”
“See to it that you keep your word.”
The bus door closes, and you take your seat. You smile to yourself and lean back on the crusty bus fabric. Patting your pocket, you take out a single gold band, slipping it on your finger.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
That habit of recklessness in moments of excitement was something your father hoped you’d grow out of. Thinking things through never really was one of your many strengths when such an exhilarating opportunity presents itself.
You scold yourself for not double-checking for gloves. Measure twice, cut one, and all that. But no matter, you’ll push through as always, clawing and digging to unearth the treasure left behind.
Your scalpel fits into your palms. Throughout this Earth, no… not just Earth, but Heaven and Hell as well, nothing will ever be as perfect.
You sigh, breathy and exhilarated, and begin.
‘First, do no harm’
But this…this does not harm a single living being.
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ
If you guys know who Olivia and Stolar are, that's what I imagine when I think about the reader's hair. Also, maybe some of you noticed, but I'm very relaxed when it comes to formatting my writing. Its why I use quite a lot of ellipses and em dashes and utilize italics and spaces. But the one thing I was very strict about was not to use the word, "miss". So there are no "You miss..." and "I miss..." But the words are there and spoken beneath actions and thoughts, hidden and unspoken, but known. My inbox is always open because I'd like to know what your favorite unspoken "I miss you" is/are. I have my own favorite ones as well.
Partners in Death...and Life.
Part I: Radio's not dead
| Part 2: Radio Will Be Dead if He Doesn’t Explain Himself. | Masterlist| ao3 Pairings: Alastor x wife!reader Tags: fem! reader, established relationship, human!alastor, hopefully not but just in case ooc!alastor (I'm trying my best to keep him as canon as possible) acroace!alastor
"Alastor! Pleasure to meet you. Quite a pleasure!" One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. You chuckle. "I don't think it will be quite the pleasure you think." "Is that so?" Alastor's smile remains constant. "And why would that be? You show him the tray you're holding "I'm here to do your sutures"
You pass the tissue box—the third one already.
Your patient blows his nose, rubbing snot off his snout. He has to stretch his arms to reach his nose. Alligators are known for their long snouts. His nostrils flare when he sniffles. Used tissue is discarded on the pastel-pink floor despite a pastel-pink trashcan stationed by his webbed feet. It’s been the same pattern for the last fifteen-minutes.
Tissue, Sneeze. Floor.
“—and I have this…uh…like this real bad itch on my eye. I keep rubbing and rubbing but it doesn’t do shit! My eyesight’s gotten worse—It’s already fucked up but this is just different. My roommate hissed at me about getting blood all-over the carpet floors if I kept scratching my scales. Oh. Oh! I’ve been snee—achew!” Alligator snot lands on the pastel-pink floors of the clinic.
Your eyes twitch.
He takes another tissue and waves it around his head. “The top of my head is killing me. Ya’know where that is right?” He blows his nose. “It’s right here,” he says, inching his head closer to you. “The last nurse I went to was blind as a bat! Literally, she had the wings and everything. It was kinda hot.”
“I’m well aware of the location of your head,” you say. “You can lean back now.”
Tissue. Sneeze. Floor
Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.
Tissue. Sneeze. Floor.
Pastel pink floor.
Underneath the mix of feathers and hair strands, the bustling of the waiting room catches your ear. Someone curses, booming and violent at another waiting patient. A cough, a sigh, a barf. Painful curses erupt after that. You bring a hand to your ears, wincing as your eardrum rings.
Pentagon City’s best and biggest hospital needs better doors, but those lazy sloth fuckers at the top invested at the first material they found. The alligator sneezes into another tissue. He flicks it with his wrist, and it hits the pastel-pink wallpaper adorned with closed eyes. Maybe Belphegor should be the sin of Pride instead, considering all items are covered in her symbol.
“I really feel like t’was those exterminators ya’know?”
You do not, in fact, know. Half of what this young man says is incomprehensible.
His snout sways left to right when he shakes his head. “It’s only my second one, and this was a close call, and uh…well, ever since then I’ve been like this. One even got to my roommate. “
You hum, leaning back on your chair. You should petition to for thicker doors. And while you’re at it, better interior design, and better paint—something that isn’t pastel pink.
“Ugh, and it’s so not cool that this new roommate of mine’s been shedding since the day they moved in,” he says. “Speaking of shedding, do you think it’s because of those exterminators? Do you think they like spread some sort of weird pollen to make us sick? They’re totally the type to that.”
You take your pen—your pastel-fucking-pink pen—and poke his alligator sinuses.
Hell does have its own brand of humor. You gave your 20s to studying human anatomy, only to die and find yourself with the need to re-learn the boring part of biology. (Two books on reptiles, four on mammals, and fifteen on sea creatures.)
“YEOWCH!” His teeth stick out again. You do not know what this means. “What kind of nurse ar—“
“Doctor.”
“—you? That’s not the top of my head!”
You push back on of the feathers on your head. “Your roommate ‘hissed’ at you? And they’ve been shedding fur for two weeks now?"
“…Yeah…?”
You stare at him. “Have you ever considered that you’re allergic to your roommate?”
“Ooooooooooh,” he says. ‘Yeah, I was allergic to cats back when I was alive.”
You grab your (pastel-fucking-pink) prescription pad from the desk drawer. “Control it with some antihistamine. Four pills every 12 hours.”
His teeth start showing. You’re not sure if he’s frowning. It’s hard to tell. “Pills, really?”
You toss what you were writing into the massive pile of germs, mucus, and tissue. “I can give you a nasal spray. I’ll flush the mucus then insert a spray that prevents build-up,” you say. “They last for two weeks and then you’ll need to come back.”
He grabs the last tissue from the box. It still lands on your floor. “Ma’am nurse, do you have any more of this?”
You sigh and reach for a fourth box of tissue. “It’s doctor,” you say. “We keep nasal sprays here in the clinic. I’ll just grab one and you’ll be out in fifteen minutes.”
“No can do,” he says. “Before I died, my coach told me to stay away from that non-organic shit. It’ll mess us up real bad apparently. All those steroids.”
“You have phencyclidine sticking out of your coat pocket.”
“Pheny—what?”
“…Angel Dust.”
“The porn star?”
“The drug. You have drugs sticking out of your coat pocket.”
“Come on, nurse—”
Threads erupt from your fingers. It snakes around his wrist, coiling and twisting. He jerks his arm away and cries out when you tighten your hold. Your threads wrap around his legs. It pulls against his waist. Magic binds his arms, and tightens around every joint he owns. You stop, only when the alligator struggles, trashing against the clinic chair.
His teeth bare and he snaps at whatever he can reach. You tug on one of the thousands of strings digging into his skin. His jaw snaps shut, and it will stay shut. Another tug and his back stretches to straighten. You move your fingers as if a piano laid before you, and he sits up like a good puppet.
Another month of clinic dury will be your punishment if those sloth from down below are lucid enough to do their jobs. Sadly, killing this idiot would have you suspended for three months.
“I am a doctor,” you tell him. “Do not make me repeat myself.”
The tension on your strings marks even the few scales scattered on his body. He’s a real idiot if he continues to struggle.
Delicate movements of your fingers bring him forward, his back still strained, and tilt his snout at a forty-five-degree angle. Your threads elongate as you move toward the clinic drawers. It loosens around you, careful at keeping you able to move freely. It’s one of the handier parts of your magic.
You shake your hands and the threads detach. It sticks to the floor to keep the alligator as your puppet. You scrub your hands thoroughly before taking the nasal spray and filling with with distilled water.
You place on nitrite gloves. It’s always best when dealing with bodily substances such as mucus. You place a pan underneath and jam the tube up his nostrils, hosing his sinuses with water. The tension of his binding keeps him still. (If you ignore his whining, then that’s your business. The brawl you heard from the waiting room drowned it all out anyway.) He starts breathing better when all the snot flushes to the pan.
“Finished,” you say with satisfaction. You grab your prescription pad and write one for a nasal spray. “I cleared the mucus buildup so you shouldn’t feel any more headaches. The spray will keep your nose clear for as long as you use it. Come back if you start to feel any discomfort. For the rashes just get cream.” You point at the pastel pink door. “The exit’s right there.”
The threads dissolve in the air. He rubs his wrist, trying to soothe the red marks that your strings bring. You hand him the signed prescription.
He doesn’t close the door on his way out.
The broom and dustpan are hidden in one of the taller cabinets—pastel-pink like everything else in the room.
(Well, not everything. The radio sitting on the corner of the counter gives a splash of red into the room.)
You sweep the tissues into the dustpan. Your control over your strings is much more proficient when living beings are involved. Inanimate objects whip around when you use your magic on them, and radios have been difficult to purchase recently. It’s more convenient to clean using your own hands.
“Tagatha,” you call out when the floor is clean. “You can bring in the next one in.”
Silence is your reply.
“Tagatha?”
Your ears quirk. The noises are faint—an occasional cough, silent weeping, and muted voices coming from the television. You peek out the door, eyeing the crowd formed around the corner of the hall where a pAstel-pInK television mounts on the wall.
The door closes with a faint click. You sink into the cushions of the office chair. Vox’s yapping bore you. It was probably some man-child debate about the new extermination date. Although… those serialized dramas he produces, sadly, are interesting enough to be consumed. If asked for your honest opinion, you’d tell them that they were a hot pile of smelly garbage, but you like to leave it playing mindlessly in the background.
Your husband will throw the television out the window the first chance he’ll get.
Too bad he’s occupied.
You grab a piece of paper from the drawer. Management is forcing you to write a thousand-word formal apology. There are about three-hundred words left to write.
Getting caught dissecting the dead bodies from the morgue is a mistake that won’t be repeated. One dead body and suddenly those lazy fuckers have diligence weaved into their DNA. The body was already dead, and it’s not every day a chance to poke around a chimera’s entrails appears. The sinner would contribute to something meaningful at least. You’re stuck on clinic duty until you dot your last sentence, and not a moment before
The coffee’s cold now, but consumable.
You reach across the desk, feeling for the knob of the radio. You twist until you feel the clink. Music fills the air—the same twenty-five songs on a loop. You stare at the radio for a moment.
Just… a small… single moment.
On your kitchen counter, that second cup of coffee should be cold by now. It’s always cold when you trudge through the door. It’s been cold and untouched for years.
Yet, without fail, that second cup you brew will always be waiting for its owner.
“Salutations!” You snap your head to the radio. “Good to be back on the air.”
…Huh? The feather on your hair bristle. You swipe the radio, your hold on it feather-light. You turn the knob responsible for volume. The static noise stings your eardrums.
“—ile since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast. Sinners rejoice!”
Murmurs erupt outside your door. You blink and find yourself slamming it open. One foot after another, one step after the other, brings you closer to the television. Your shoulder throbs when you bump into someone, but you keep pushing until you see Vox and his tacky suit enlarged on the screen.
“What a dated voice!”
A reply comes from the radio. “Instead of a clout-chasin’ mediocre video podcast.”
Your feather rises higher. Laughter escapes your lips, it leaves a dry taste. That…that ṁ̵̭͔̲̙̦͎̝̜̲̠͙͇̂̏̃̐̂̓̊̂̕̕o̴̢̭̝̙̤̬͚͐̅͗̌̇̂̌̕ţ̷̛̝̂̿h̶̯̟̙̲̘̟̟͙͔̔̋͊̋̿̐͘͜͜ę̶̗̰͔̫͔̗̝̘̻̰̓̓̈̊͜r̵̨̂̏f̶͖̻̱̺͕̹̫̭̠̚u̸̬̺̯̟̦͖̅̂́́̌̚͝ć̴̖͙̰͈͕̉͌̈́́̈̔̀̉̍́͜͠ḳ̴̨̧̗̫̗͖̞̟̑͌̂̀̈́̀͆͒ę̷̛͓̼̟͍̆̆́͆̾͛͝r̵̹̮̤͓̗̹̈́̎̉͌̾͌̏͑̋̚͝.
“Doctor!” Tagatha screeches when she spots you. “I am so sorry. I’ll bring in the next one right away!”
Your eyes are trapped by the screen and your ears by the radio. “It’s alrig—”
Tagatha grabs the closest person to her and shoves you back into the clinic. The door slams shut just as everything goes dark and silent. (Well, it’s not completely dark, once your eyes adjust you can still see as if the lights were open. Another small perk to this body). Your radio, along with the power, stopped working.
“Oh my!” Your new patient bleats.
“We have generators,” you find yourself saying. “I’m sure the power will come on in a minute.”
The cushions of the chair do little to ease your nerves. You pat your hair, trying to get it in control. A pile of feathers starts forming on the PASTEL-FUCKING PINK FLOORS. T̴̹̜͇̅̅͗͜H̶̰̗̄Ơ̶̡̡̻̗͖̋̎̓̓S̴̨͉̝̻͋̽̆́͆Ẹ̸̡̢͐͐͠ ̷̨͚̞̙̀͒̆̆͊Ŭ̵͕̲̪͇͓͐̚G̷̹̝̦̬͊͒Ḷ̶̭͓̎̏̈͘Y̶͇̟̍̉̚ ̷̟͎͕̞͂͑̂̇À̶͉̍̄̈̚S̸͖̖͕͑̏͛̈́S̶͚̤̼̯̀ ̶̻͆P̷̬̝̉Ä̵͕́͊̌S̸̢͍̆̓͝Ṫ̸͖̲̠̾̉͜͝E̷̺͆L̷͖̏͐́͝ ̶̛̟̽͝P̷̪̔͜I̴̹̥̹͖̮͒́̏͘N̸̳̙̼̾̆̿Ķ̶̟̞̜̉͊̓̂̚ ̵͈̬̃̿̄̈́̋F̵̨̨̼̫̘͘L̸̙̠͎̓̆́O̷̧̘͚͉̤̓O̷̤̟̱̼̤͋̍͐R̷̰̝̓͌̌Ș̵̲̝̈́ "Excuse me?” You will paint this room red with the blood of management. You tap your foot again, and again, and again. “…Doctor?”
Your neck snaps in her direction, eyes wide and staring.
“The… uh… the lights are back.”
You blink at your patient—huh, she’s a goat. “I apologize,” you say, smiling. “Please, tell me, what brings you here in this hellish afternoon.”
She holds up her bleeding arm. “It’s been like this since the extermination,” she explains. “Some angle got me. Luckily, I was able to run off before I was finished. I thought it would heal on its own like it usually does but it just hasn’t. It keeps bleeding.”
“Well, angel-induced injuries are my specialty,” you say. Tucked away to the side, a mirror hangs. You catch your reflection, and you blow your hair away from your vision, your red sclerae “This will cost you. Injuries caused by angels are…difficult to stitch, but not impossible—not for me at least.”
“Oh, yes.” She bleats one more “Dear God, where are my manners? I’m sorry can I ask for your name?”
Your smile widens. “Of course. I’m—"
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“Alastor! Pleasure to be meeting you. Quite a pleasure!” One hand reset on his chest, and the other shoots into the air. It’s the bow you did in high school, back when you wanted theater to pay your bills. A performer’s bow.
You chuckle. “I don’t think it will be quite the pleasure you think.”
“Is that so?” Alastor’s smile remains constant. “And why would that be?”
You show him the tray you’re holding. “I’m here to do your sutures.” He steps closer to take a peek. You watch him as his eyes gloss over your matches then your needle driver, then the alcohol lamp. His smile wobbles when he lands on the syringe.
You move the tray, dropping it down on the little cart by the examination chair.
“There’s no need to worry.” You beam at him. “I have the steadiest hands in this city.”
“Hmmmm,” he says. “You must be the other doctor then.”
“Not at all.” You point to your uniform, where the initial ‘NP’ is embroidered next to your name. “Just the nurse practitioner.”
He takes a closer look and reads your name. “Then I have no reason to fret. None at all! In my experience, doctors usually have their noses buried in their books. It’s the nurses that actually get the hands-on experience.” Alastor’s hands move when he talks. “What’s such a talented practitioner doing in such a dinged-up clinic?”
“Management caught me in the morgue dissecting the dead—It’s how I practice my stitches.”
“Really, now?”
You bark a laugh. “Not at all—I’m far too smart to get caught.”
“A witty sense of humor and a steady hand! I am in good hands, indeed.”
You take a seat on the rolling stool. “Yes, yes,” you say, waving your wrist. “You make fine compliments, Sir. I’ll be sure to be extra gentle.” You point towards the examination chair. “But, please hurry to the chair. You’re dripping blood on my floor.”
Alastor glances down. His eyebrows furrow as he glares at where the blood seeps from his sleeve … almost… almost as if he’s angry. “My apologies,” he says, allowing his blood to drip to the floor.
Alastor shrugs off his coat. It’s rare to see such a dark red—only a few choose such a color. You hum. Alastor is a well-dressed gentleman. Lovely. Those are your favorite kind. He drapes his coat over the spare chair, ignoring the coat racks the clinic provides.
You turn away and wheel yourself closer to one of the drawers on the counter. It takes two attempts until you find the stash of sterile gloves. “Take your seat when you’re ready,” you say. “I’ll take a look once you are.” You place the gloves on the little green cart, right next to your tray.
Alastor takes his seat, landing with an audible ‘humph’. He smiles at you, sleeves rolled and arm ready. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
You hold your palm out. “May I?”
His smile wobbles—it’s a small change in expression that you wouldn’t notice if you weren’t looking. “Of course.”
Along his forearm, a long and sharp cut wounds him. The sight of grime that covers the opened abrasions makes you inwardly cringe. You need to clean these as soon as possible. “Why was this not checked sooner?” You rest his hands on the armrest and use your foot to bring the cart closer. “This looks old, and not at all like a freshly deep cut. I prefer it when patients come to me with fresh wounds.”
You grab a bowl with distilled water and pour in a sterile solution. “I assumed it would heal on its own,” he tells you. “It was quite a surprise when it did not.”
“I need to clean this before you die of infection.” You dip his arm into the bowl. He remains silent, but you feel the tension of his muscles under your fingers. “Hopefully there will be no next time, but just in case, next time, please don’t wait a month.”
He laughs, and there, you faintly see it—a twitch in his eye. “It was only a week actually.”
You smile to yourself. “I’d prefer it if it was only a few hours.” You dry his arm with a soft towel, his arm still tensed underneath your touch. “There, much better.” You release your hold to go to a shelf filled with different labeled vials and select the one you need. With the clean syringe, you draw the contents of the vial. “You’ll feel a bit of a pinch,” you say. You tap its side. “It’s morphine— wouldn’t want you screaming and writhing”
You study his face for a second. There’s just that same dismissively polite smile.
“You can look away if you wish,” you tell him. “It’s why we pin such…er…interesting decorations around…. May I?”
You feel it again when Alastor inches his arm closer. His muscles tense under your touch. It’s almost as if he wishes to pull away. You keep your hold feather-light, but firm.
“Are you a hunter by any chance?” you ask. You don’t prick him—not yet. Not when tension coils in your hold.
“You could describe it that way,” he says, chuckling like he’s told a humorous joke. (You don’t understand why.)
“I figured you were.”
Alastor slides his glasses up the bridge of his nose. You inject the morphine into his skin, right inside the soft pink tissue. Good. Alastor relaxes when he speaks, it seems. “I do love a good hunt,” he says. “How ever did you know.”
You release your hold and discard the syringe. “Your hands are rough,” you tell him. “And hunters always have this silly notion that injuries magically heal given enough time—along with farmers, actually. Although, farmers are usually much more deluded.”
He flashes that same polite smile. “I'm guessing you’re not a hunter then?”
“How ever did you know?”
You watch his eyes flicker to your palms as you re-arrange the needles. “Delicate hands.”
You flash the same polite smile right back at him. You take a match, and light the alcohol lamp.
Soap spreads all over your palms and up your arm as you scrub your hands. You slip your hands into the sterilized gloves, careful not to contaminate the surface. “I’ll begin now.”
Alastor hums in reply.
You take a scapple and pass it over the flame. You poke him, lightly, but he doesn’t react. Satisfied, you cut back fibrous tissue underneath the skin. You replace the scapple with a needle driver. There was a quiet click when you pinch the tiny curved needle. You pass it over the flame as well. “Can you do me a favor? Can you tell me how many stars are on that wall over there?
Alastor turns to look at you, but you block his eyes with your palm, shielding him from your stiches.
“The wall isn’t over here.”
“I assure you, I’m not afraid of a silly needle.”
“I’m sure you are,” you say. “However, you’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word for it. The last three people who said that took one look and started squirming. One even fainted. It makes your life miserable, and my job harder.
He counts.
“Out loud please.”
He does as he’s told, rather reluctantly.
Hands steady and determination set, you pierce the soft pink tissue with your needle The tissue nearest to the surface is always delicate. You’re certain not to catch any fat in your suture, for fat dies, and a loose stitch is useless. “Well, isn’t this fun!” he says. “I really feel nothing.”
Your concentration does not break. “I don’t remember there only being twenty-six stars. I’m positive there are more.”
“Why is someone as talented as you only a nurse practitioner?”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a nurse…,” you reply, tugging on the needle. “Well…we…. We certainly could be paid more.”
“Why not become an actual doctor then?”
“My father couldn’t afford it. He wouldn’t send me….and…hm…” You smoothly pull the suture thread and begin the next stitch. “And I enjoy this.”
He looks down at you. “Is this all you’ll be satisfied with?”
You focus back on your stitching, hiding your glare. You bring your needle underneath the flesh, making sure to catch the soft tissue. You’re doing an uncommon stitch, but it would be a shame to leave a scar. “You sound familiar.”
You pause to look at him, His smile brightens, and it actually looks like a genuine elated smile. “Why, I’m a radio broadcaster. You might have heard me there.”
“Oh yes...” you hum, turning back to your stitching. “Alastor... I remember now. The ladies and I listen to your broadcast as we do our crafts.”
“Knitting?”
“I personally prefer embroidery,” you say. “I get to practice my stitching and make beautiful art.” You pull the thread and begin a new one, stitching his skin like they were shoe laces. “You’re quite the humorous gentleman, I must say, and quite a lovely taste in music. We enjoy your broadcast very much”
“Do you have any of your artworks here?” he asks you. “I would be eager to see them.”
“Maybe next time.” You tug the suture, and his laceration snaps to a close. You tie a knot and snip the end. “Unfortunately, I’ve finished your stitches.”
“Next time then.”
You discard your gloves and go back to the shelf with the vials. You fill up another syringe. You jam the needle into his skin, not enough to hurt, just enough to scare him a bit. “To prevent infection.”
He jerks away from you. “What happened to that gentle touch of yours?”
“It’s still a sharp object, Sir. They tend to hurt.” You smirk and carefully clean the remaining blood on the skin around the sutured wound. You take a bandage from your cart and begin wrapping it around his forearm, covering your sutures. “Don’t forget to drink your pills every 8 hours, with a meal in your stomach, preferably. Replace the dressing every three days. You can come back here or if you’re able to do so, you can change them yourself. Any by the good God, please, visit the nearest hospital should this incident repeat.”
Alastor slides off the examination chair. He grabs his coat as if you didn’t just stitch him close. You start packing when you notice him fixing his bow tie, and smoothing his hair. Huh…There’s blood on his coat, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Like he’s used to having it there. Like it’s just something he’s learned to live with. “You were wrong by the way.”
“Pardon?”
“It was quite the pleasure to meet you.”
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Hello, welcome to the hell that's been plaguing my head. In case you didn't know Belphegor is the ruler of the sloth ring, and she seems to be in charge of medical-related stuff in Hell. I have the story mostly plotted out, it's just a matter of writing it down. If you have any questions, ask away
