[placeholder-0]

I’m still not ready for sex again but god I’d kill for someone to just hold me

[placeholder-0]

I’m trying to date again but this guy makes comments about sex- not vulgar, just know that it’s a goal. And like…because of my SA, I don’t have any interest.

Still feel broken.

[placeholder-0]

Just someone meant to be alone I guess.

[placeholder-0]

I’m so fucking tired of people expecting you to walk on eggshells because “it ruins my mental health”.

Go to fucking therapy. Figure your shit out like the rest of us.

This is solely because I expressed frustration by saying “can we all agree to vote for Jill stein”. All of the sudden, I’ve forgotten what the Trump presidency was like. And obviously it’s “Biden screwed Palestine so let’s screw everyone” — direct quote by the way. How they got that from mine is beyond me but god forbid I tell them their brain filled in blanks that weren’t there with shit no one said.

I am allowed and will continue to say we should organize and vote for a different candidate.

And I hate to tell you this, but the two that were being told we have to choose from the exact fucking same. It’s just one does it blatantly while the other one does so in shadow & the pomp and circumstance of yesteryear you’re all fucking used to. Black people, POC, women, and poor people are just as badly off, if not worse, than under Trump. It’s just yall take the gimmicks and lap it the fuck up.

Like. Yall are fuckin wild.

[placeholder-0]

Goddamnit girl. Stop being pathetic. It’s worse when it’s this oblivious. Fuck, man.

[placeholder-0]

“I hate clout chasers”

*proceeds to talk about how they’ve started going to every convention and is now friends with “big name” fans*

[placeholder-0]

“I want to save money”

“I don’t know how you do it”

*proceeds to travel every 2 weekends to conventions and fave-owned businesses in other states*

I hAv3 n O idEA

[placeholder-0]

I would like someone to hold me while I cry this out. Whatever “this” is.

[placeholder-0]

So the guy that’s been flirting with me for two seasons of our show has a girlfriend and for someone who is a stereotypical hot guy™, she is delightfully average and it just makes me cry because I can’t even compete with “average”. I guess I look rougher but the personality sucks too? I dunno. I’m a good afterthought and that’s all it is.

[placeholder-0]

So I think of course people like me… I provide things for them. I do it automatically, without thought about myself. Make it indispensable. A reason to keep me around. But to then be bitter when people use it… That’s really fucking dumb. It’s a cycle of my own creation. Especially when my family consistently sells me the idea that they never asked. That they don’t put things on me, that they don’t ask me to fix things, that everything is in my head. So why am I like this?

[placeholder-0]

Spiraling and it worries me. But I’m just like, trying to get my footing? Like knowing I am means I’m doing better than normal?

[placeholder-0]

I did shitty during sparring again. All I can think of is fucking Miruna Dragan, that drawing prof from college that told me I just don’t know when to quit. At what point do you stop wasting time and just quit. I can’t stop crying as I’m driving home. And I think of my mom and all her comments about how I’m not serious about it or how surprised she is I stuck with it. And just..:maybe I’d be happier eating and drinking like I used to.

I just need some kind of proof I’m doing better.

[placeholder-0]

Karma is a bitch who wears high heeled shoes and I have been so patient. Welcome, my dear. Have a drink as I bask in your work. Bless.

[placeholder-0]

I’m 33 and have had (1) sort-of relationship. I‘be kissed (3) males and (2) females and I am not good at the whole physical intimacy thing. So why does something like the first kiss between Nick & Jess on new girl make me cry?? How can you miss something you never had and rarely desire or even think about??

[placeholder-0]

My mother is actually disgusting.

[placeholder-0]

It’s a shame that most days I wake up in my parents’ place, I’m breaking down the day like “ok. I just have to make it until [x] and then I can go to bed and be alone.”

[placeholder-0]

What the fuck is the point of this conversatioooooon

Super cool when you realize that you just can’t fucking stand a person anymore. Consideration for nuerodivergency and trauma is great but at some point you’re just a fucking asshole.