random stuff

Whatever I feel like liking

[puppygirl-hornyposting2]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

HAPPY SPOOKY SEASON! Have some merch

recently received new stock photos for the Terrible Pink T-Shirts i sell on etsy, and i find them so funny for some reason...

look at the smiling attractive people wearing their (also smiling!) attractive fashion wear!

[eleventailsy2003]

now that's scary

lol

[gojira-metaru]

ah!

[dom-the-deer-made-of-bred]

woman shouldn't wear this

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the eyes are tiddy-level specifically on purpose. if someone stares uncomfortably at your chest---your chest stares uncomfortably back!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

continually bemused by the number of people who have inflicted generously gifted this shirt to a sibling.

really says something about sibling relationships. not sure what, precisely. but something.

ORDER NOW IF YOU WANT ONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS

[reddpenn]

A little story about ghosts, and roommates, and getting to know each other.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

tis the season to remember Medjed aka The Smiter, an invisible egyptian deity with laser eyes and nonbinary swagger:

rotating them gently in my mind as they do a spiffy little dance number

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please know that at any given moment Medjeh is occupying prime real estate in my brain as they perform an emotive interpretive dance based on the following artistic depiction:

[skyfire45]

Ok so I looked up Medjed, and apparently they look like that because they are supposed to be invisible but like, how exactly does one illustrate something that's invisible? So it's possible that the Egyptians, unsure of what else to, put a sheet over them to try and depict the fact that they're invisible in a way that could still be depicted.

So, with this in mind, since they are supposedly unable to perceived, one may wonder if they are Among Us as we speak.

[cookie-waffle-deactivated202511]

[richardsphere]

Also note that, literally every other character in egyptian mythology and art is consistently painted en-profile. everyone, from the slaves to the gods is en-profile. But Medjed isnt, Medjed is looking at the observer Always at the observer. Medjed might be the first character in the narrative tradition to break the fourth wall. (its certainly the oldest I am aware of).

[fulda-gap-express]

[wonders7plus]

[lotsandlotsofbirds]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there is. lizard in the house. what is the polite way to deal with this situation?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i am lacking in social niceties. what are the rules of hospitality in this particular circumstance? truly I've no wish to be rude

[moltenparadox]

I guess maybe trap them under a cup and put them outside?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

attempted to diplomatically put forth this suggestion, at which point negotiations broke down. the lizard has scampered, and is currently hiding either within or behind the closet. tumblr please instruct on proper protocol

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

according to tumblr, the lizard is now my roommate and best friend. thank you for your research assistance!

in conclusion, I will google "how to convince your roommate/best friend to come out of the closet," and follow the expert instructions I will no doubt encounter. I feel qualified now to deal with the situation. many thanks tumblr acquaintances!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)

i find the implications hilarious:

kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that

but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh

yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function

upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

why do we even have that lever? because you built it yzma. these are the machinations of your own design yzma! YOU ARE TANGLED IN A WEB OF YOUR OWN WEAVING YZMA! YZMA THAT IS YOUR CROCODILE!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

shout-out to everyone in the notes claiming that kronk pulled the wrong lever on purpose. you are so right, this is the face of a himbo who knows what's up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#the best thing about kronk is that he is very very competent just at nothing in his actual job description #yzma keeps him around so she can be competent-passing in comparison but she is ALSO a dumbass! #dream team

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh sure barbie has a thousand different professional qualifications, but when was the last time she was allowed to kill a man? the patriarchy must end

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i stand corrected

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

State Sanctioned Violence Barbie™

[sleepy-bebby]

Scromch and Scrungle

[reversewerewolf]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

til Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula, written 1978, was considered by the British Fantsy Society to be “one of the better” Dracula/Holmes crossovers. i was not previously aware this was a genre

[jonleftthedisco]

i am sorry? Sherlock Homes vs Dracula? is a real book? and not a fever dream i had while scrolling through ao3????

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

apparently it’s a real genre and it doesn’t end there!

have you ever wanted to read a comic book pitting the wits of the famous Sherlock Holmes against the Menace of the world’s most infamous vampire? Now you can have multiple series!!!

In conclusion, die old, leave behind a body of literature for the world to ransack

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you say this but I checked ao3 and to my shock and disappointement there are only 2 fics for Dracula/Sherlock, I am devastated

[i-have-a-good-alibi]

Good news Gaud! My flatmate’s grandad wrote a Sherlock Holmes/Dracula novel in 2011! Her grandma illustrated it!

I think you can only get it on Amazon unfortunately :(

Me and my other flatmates were actively campaigning for him to add a smut chapter. He said he’d think about it, but as he’s 96 I don’t know that there’s too much thinking time left :(

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please tell your flatmate’s 96 year old grandpa that dozens of internet strangers are cheering for him/actively begging him to add a sherlock x dracula smut chapter to his sherlock x dracula fanfic

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

it is 2023 and I am once again reminding you that there are STILL only 2 Dracula/Sherlock Holmes works on ao3. do the heavens truly expect me to countenance this travesty??

[brionysea]

whoever logged onto this website and said that sparky is way more of a sokka nickname for zuko than a toph nickname, i hope you know that you've forever rewired my brain and my ability to read atla fics

the actual nicknames toph gave the gaang were so heavily circumstantial (snoozles because sokka wanted to sleep, sugar queen because she was clashing with katara who was being Fake Nice while actually being very annoyed, twinkle toes because... aang), so really zuko should have a new nickname in every fic (and he should hate it every time because proper titles represent respect to him the same way as nicknames/stage names represent respect to toph)

be creative. it's what the inventor of metal bending would want

[zukkaart]

The Gaang as some of my favorite text posts and tweets curated from too much time on Pinterest

Zuko:

Aang:

Katara:

Toph:

Sokka:

Suki:

Bonus:

Azula:

[zuko-always-lies]

Who is your *least favorite* member of the Gaang?

Katara

Zuko

Aang

Sokka

Suki

Toph

Voting ended onJul 31, 2023

I don't think anyone's asked this question before, but it should prove interesting. Please reblog to get more votes!

@atla-polls

[plaidgiant]

Suki, but only because she got a lot less screentime

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

1 night lying in bed u look up at your ceiling & see this crawling towards u wyd

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[fanfictionbard]

exCUSE me the one on the top is mine, you cropped off the blog name and I WANT PROPER RECOGNITION FOR MY SLUTTINESS PLEASE AND THANK YOU >:(

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

fair enough! hope you suffer

[crystallizedtwilight]

People I met for a few moments that live in my head forever.

[mangopapi-deactivated20210928]

If you’re not ready to fight an alligator over your best friend dont even think about coming to Florida

[thighetician]

Apex predators

[jamtastik]

Yooooo

[big-robot-fan]

Florida culture is living in a real life Jurassic park yet being more scared of the local people

[sinesalvatorem]

TBF, you would be too if you’d ever met Florida Man

[t3trahedron]

Hopefully this doesn’t burst anybody’s bubbles, but the video’s fake (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-man-save-friend-from-reptilian-attack/)

Now, by fake I mean: the alligator wasn’t real, it was put there as a prank by some Youtubers, to record people’s reactions. So the guy a) survived, and b) reacted as he would (AKA: fought a fucking alligator to save his friend) had it been real, because neither of them knew it wasn’t.

To quote Snopes: It appears that the “elbow drop” move was actually a real, good-faith, and quite courageous response to an uncomfortably realistic and relatively low-effort prank

[lone-crusader227-deactivated202]

Ok but like…. that still doesn’t change the fact that this absolute legend genuinely thought an alligator was about to eat his friend and he ELBOW DROPPED the fucking thing to save him!!!! That’s some true ass friendship right there

[ren-of-rationality]

No people or animals got hurt, guy got to try and elbow drop an alligator, and his friend got to find out just how ride or die his friend is. As far as I’m concerned this makes the whole thing better.