Bay Dream
“FUCK we only need one more! THINK RILEY THINK!”
“I don’t wanna get arrested man! I’m too pretty to go to jail”!
“I don’t give a fuck what you want! Say one more!
“5…4…3...” Fat cop counted down.
4 Hours before…
Today was going to be the day. Luke could feel that something good was going to come his way today. He was finally free from his parents and was ready to start this summer off right.
“Hey LeeRy”! Yelled Luke. (His real name was Riley but he complained so much about having a Bi-gender name that Max took it upon himself to give him a nickname and after 15 years of friendship it stuck.)
“What” He replied.
“Where’s my grinder? You used it last night and I can’t find it”.
“Check my Kush Kit”. When Riley had first become a stoner he had to keep all his stuff in his truck and as he collected more and more items he needed a place to put it all, so one night when he was incredibly lit he came up with calling his briefcase of paraphernalia a Kush Kit.
Luke sauntered over to the table and grabbed his Kit, grabbed the grinder and put it with his Ganja Gadgets. They all couldn’t use Kush Kit that was Riley’s trademark and he came up with it, so they all came up with different names. Chad had his Stoner Stuff and Max had his Pot Pouch. In each kit they had the essential stoner items such as a grinder, swishers or black and mild’s for blunts, Bob Marley Hemp rolling papers if they got adventurous enough to roll a joint, at least two lighters in case one fails, and most importantly marijuana.
Each person had their own personal stash of weed to fit his needs. Take Luke for example, he loves sativa because it gets him really talkative and energetic, whereas Max is a lot more low key and loves to smoke Indica because he likes the relaxing feeling it brings. None of them are all that picky, if there’s weed being passed around the four boys are going to smoke it. Stoner rule number one; always know what you’re smoking, no exceptions. Stoner rule number two; if you know what it is and you’re offered a hit, you take it… no matter what.
“Yo! Are we ready to go yet I wanna get the fuck outta here. I’m so stoked for this road trip let’s roll!” Chad had been waiting all year for a trip like this. He was stuck down at Las Positas and was ready to have fun with his best friends. College was really lonely for him and he missed his boys.
“Yeah I’m good to go,” said Max. This was followed by a perfectly timed “Same” from Riley and Luke. They high five like they always do when something cool happens. The four grabbed their things and walked out the door. The adventure had begun.
They walk downstairs to Luke’s brand new white Honda Civic Hybrid. They put the unnecessary items in the trunk and pile in. Max was riding shotgun because he was the most trusted with directions. One time Riley got the group lost on a hike in the middle of nowhere and they didn’t have cell service. The four boys had to camp out overnight where one of them would be on watch for bears and other scary shit, but that’s a different story for a different day. Plus how hard is it to tell directions anymore? You don’t even need to talk Siri does it for you there was no way they were getting lost. They had a full tank of gas, money in their wallets, and enough Ganja to scare even Cheech and Chong. The car was suddenly overwhelmed by incredibly loud music and enough bass to shake the cars stopped next to them at the red light. LeeRy had decided to play “We Dem Boyz” by Wiz Khalifa and no one complained since it was so fitting to the setting they were currently in. It was high noon in late September, the sun was shining not a cloud in sight. The sky was a perfect sapphire blue, meanwhile, Chad’s fingers were bright orange due to the sour cream and cheddar cheese ruffles he had opened in the back seat. Luke rolled his eyes, “LeeRy how’s that blunt goin?”
“I fucked up I won’t lie. You know I suck at blunts why am I even rolling this?
“Oh my god you’re so dumb give it to me. Max would you kindly hold the wheel?”
Luke had mastered the rolling process, each one in the group had their own specialty which made them a Dream Team when it came to parties. The group would crumble without one another. If the four aren’t together they are just regular, average stoners, but when they get together they become the Warriors when they won the championships. Everything meshes together and they become one entity who can conquer any task put forth.
The crew hops on Highway 5 South headed towards Los Angeles home of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis walking around with their ass hanging out. The beach is one of the only place guys can walk around shirtless and girls can have their boobs hang out and it’s socially acceptable. Why wouldn’t four teenagers want to go there? That’s the Promised Land and that’s exactly where they are headed.
“OK game plan… we get to the beach around 7 or 8 and camp out tonight and wake up there in the morning,” said Max.
“Yeah that sounds dank bro,” Chad exclaimed. “Where’s the blunt?”
“Pretty sure we smoked that a while ago buddy,” laughed Luke.
“Well then I guess it’s time to roll another one! I’m feeling some Assorted Crickets this time I wanna be surprised what we get,” Riley said. “I like not knowing what it’s going to be. It’s like a surprise birthday party but instead of people scaring the shit out of you when you walk into your house, you just get really baked. Like a cake! Fuck. Now I want cake. Luke, can we stop and get a cake? A cupcake at least?”
Luke pulled off the freeway and set out to find a Safeway. Siri always knew exactly the right words to say. She told them there is one 5 miles away, then gave them a website for 50% off a cake. The internet is a wonderful place for stoners if you know the right places to look. They pull into the shopping center and park away from cars but not so secluded that they look suspicious. Luke rolls one up, rolls the windows down, and lights it. The distinguishable sound of the click is heard as the orange fire hits the tip of the blunt releasing a pungent odor the boys knew all too well. They stumble out of the car giggling and talking about what flavor of cake they are going to buy.
Every Safeway has its own layout like the Labyrinth, except there’s no Minotaur (or so they thought at the time). They stand in the middle of the store looking left, then right, then left again not knowing where to start. Everything looked delicious like the crunchy chip aisle or the Arizona’s that quench your thirst with every sip. But no, they were on a mission for…
“Shit. What are we looking for again?” Riley asked.
“I don’t remember but since we are here we might as well explore! I’m pretty sure this is what heaven is going to look like guys,” answered Luke. “But no more than twenty dollars we need to save our money for LA.”
They all agreed and split up to find delicious items to enjoy on the long road ahead. They meet back at the cash register and realize they had enough food to feed Africa for a week. They split up again this time return all the delightful items they had just procured. While standing in line Max saw what kind of food they were getting and chuckled because they were
higher than kites and were getting munchies. The three other boys looked at him and they giggled because Max was giggling. For the next five minutes the crew had the Giggs. They waited in line, paid, bagged the groceries, and left the store all while having a laughing attack. They couldn’t control it; realizing what was happening just made them laugh even harder. All eyes were on them, they just didn’t realize it yet.
Max sparked a blunt and Luke sparked the ignition; the adventure had begun again. They continued down Highway 5 and passed through the Grapevine.
****
“I’m so done with sitting on my ass!” complained Chad. “Can we go fucking do something? Are we there yet? DAAAAAD! Riley hit me!”
“Chill roll us a joint and it’ll be fine. Use the Jack Haze that’ll get us hyped up for the next few hours,” Luke said.
Chad proceeded to roll them a joint out of his Bob Marley papers. He prided himself on his Rastafarian outfits whether it was a beanie with a weed leaf one it, or a necklace that had a small wooden surfboard on it that was red, green and yellow. He always recycled, even put the compost in the green trash can instead of the trash. If he saw someone litter he’d walk over to them and tell them to pick it up. If they refused he’d pull out his phone and act like he was dialing 9-1-1. He voted for Bernie Sanders the past election and will vote to keep him in office this year. From his head to his shoes he was the token stoner; he could have been a model for the stoner way of life.
Chad passed the joint to Riley, who then passed it to Luke; left is law. Luke took a puff then looked in his rear view and saw what they had all feared most. They knew this day would come eventually. When you constantly play with fire, you’re bound to get burned and that day was today. They all stared at the red and blue lights flashing behind them. The black and white stickers on the hood and sides with the words Highway Patrol written in green letters. Luke had no choice but to pull over… with the joint still being held by his now sweaty fingers. The four boys sprang into action all hiding their stashes. Luke was trying to smoke the rest of the joint before the officer came to the window, Riley was hiding his Kush Kit in the trunk through the seat backs, Max was frantically locking his shit in the glovebox, and Chad was still munchin on his chips. The two Highway Patrolmen exited their vehicle and starting slowly gliding towards the car.
“We’d like to see your license and registration please,” the fat officer said to Luke.
“Yeah, sure, of course officer. Anything to help the great policemen of LA,” Luke stammered.
“We’re Highway. We aren’t cops, fuck those guys am I right?” The officer at Max’s side of the window replied.
“Yeah fuck the pigs!” Giggled Riley in the back.
“Have you boys been smoking anything today? Any reefer?” Said fatty.
“Have you boys been eating anything today? Any donuts?” Max said sarcastically.
“You couldn’t handle the amount of donuts I eat!” Fatty replied.
“You couldn’t handle the amount of weed we smoke!” Riley exclaimed. “Your ass would be flat on the ground. I mean look at Luke he’s higher than a cloud and he’s driving! No way your fat ass could do that!”
“RILEY!” All three boys yelled at the same time. Max and Luke high fived instinctively then realized this was not the place to be highfiving. The cops looked at each other, then back at the boys. They didn’t say a word for what felt like ten minutes, just stared deeply into the souls of the four boys. Then they left and got back to their car. The two Highway Patrolmen exited their vehicle and starting slowly gliding towards the car.
“We’d like to see your license and registration please,” the fat officer said to Luke.
“Um. What? We just had this conversation officer?” Stuttered Luke.
“We’re Highway. We aren’t cops, fuck those guys am I right?” The officer at Max’s side of the window replied.
“Who said anything about cops yet?” Luke said.
“Have you boys been smoking anything today? Any reefer?” Said fatty.
“Ok I’m so confused”
““You couldn’t handle the amount of donuts I eat!” Fatty shouted.
“OK What the Fuck is happening!” Chad yelled as he brought is legs up on the seat and held them close. Then they stared, again, deep into the souls of the four boys.
“I’ll tell you what,” Fatty said after the intense moment of silence. “You boys name ten strains in twenty seconds, we’ll let you go free. One at a time when I point to you name one and only one. Timer starts NOW!”
“Bay Dream”
“Dark Star”
“Gravity”
“Jack Haze”
“Kings Kush”
“Lady Liberty”
“Maui Waui”
“OG Kush”
“Girl Scout Cookies”
“FUCK we only need one more! THINK RILEY THINK!”
“I don’t wanna get arrested man! I’m too pretty to go to jail”!
“I don’t give a fuck what you want! Say one more!”
“5…4…3...” Fat cop counted down.
“Purple Cadillac!” Riley yelled exuberantly.
As the words came out of his mouth in into the patrolmen’s ears, they turned from the car, got into their cruiser, and screeched out back onto the freeway.
The boys looked around at each other and without saying a word all were thinking the same thing.
“Did that just fucking happen?”
“We’ll call it a trip and never speak of it again,” Luke answered. “I’m way too baked to drive; someone is going to have to take over and I prefer it isn’t Chad’s nasty cheese fingers.”
Riley took control of the wheel and pulled off into the road headed towards the Promised Land.
****
To the right Max was zoning out on the beautiful beaches of LA. The sun was shimmering off the water while the sky was vibrant reds and oranges. He could smell the ocean water and could hear the waves crashing against the sand. Families playing together making sandcastles and burying each other playfully. He could feel the hot breeze hit his face as he stuck it out the window to whistle at a pretty blonde that was walking down the street. She looked and smiled as if she hadn’t already gotten whistled at a hundred times already.
“When are we going to stop, just pull over LeeRy I wanna get out,” Chad whined.
“No. Not yet. We’ll know when to stop, you’ll see,” Riley replied as he smirked back at Chad.
The gang cruised down the street next to the beach. This was the only portion of the trip that they hadn’t been speeding. In fact they were only moving about ten miles per hour, but none of them cared. They were mesmerized by the view and the Blue Dream they were currently inhaling. The car goes up a hill and around a bend. There it was… The Promised Land…
Riley pulled off the road to a secluded parking lot. The gang gathered their belongings silently, but still working as an efficient, well-oiled machine. Riley locks the car and hands Luke his keys. The boys hiked down a path that wound its way through some trees and rocks. Then peaking between two palm trees was the beach they had always imagined. White sand that never got too hot and burned your feet. To their left was a group of twelve college girls who had decided that this secluded beach was going to be declared a “nude beach”. They were all swimming in the ocean and all started smiling and whispering as the boys cleared the tree line. The stopped and stared in amazement.
“This is it guys. This is heaven. We’ve finally found it,” Luke whispered as he looked around at his three best friends. They nodded in agreement then put their things down, took their shirts off, and strolled over to the group of girls. The water was a perfect 82 degrees, but not too salty so it didn’t make their eyes sting when they went under water to put the girls on their shoulders. The sun set behind them and it started getting nippy being in the water. Chad, who surprisingly enough was an Eagle Scout, made a fireplace in the sand and started a fire. They all gathered around, Luke broke out his guitar, Riley brought his bong, and Max brought munchies and Peach Cîroc, again working exactly in unison. This was what they worked their ass off in high school for.
Luke kicked back and started strumming his guitar while looking around at the group of people in front of him. He could see their faces but only because of the faint orange glow of the fire. It was the final day of summer, and the group had finished it off perfectly.
