human on earth

🎇🎆🌠🌄🌅🌇🌆🏙️🌃🌌 archive and catalogue of life

[plexigod]

party 🤙

[plexigod]

almost full

[plexigod]

made it thirty goes round the sun

[plexigod]

hiiii little devil baby, hello star, hello angels, softly singing from afar

[plexigod]

returning, relearning

[plexigod]

ouch

[innerchildabortionclinic]

evil therapist: to ground yourself, look around, name 5 things you can kill, and 4 things you can at least maim

[llleighsmith]

no one’s ever gonna really truly get you but that’s okay because you get you and you get to have this secret magical world that is entirely your own in the expanse of your imagination

[road0flife]

[plexigod]

okay

[plexigod]

somewhat recent in the blue room during treatment

[plexigod]

i’m not giving up just yet

[bonivers]

pushing back against oldest child stereotypes by making unwise choices and not being dependable

[plexigod]

the moon and me against everything

i ask my body kindly, fear please leave

for the first time in my life anger is burning me

simultaneously i do not know how to feel it

there is no justice

so what is its purpose? where does it go

how do i metabolize these experiences

piled into my arms by the people i’ve known

the anger is mine, but these deviations from safe human behaviour like being shot full of arrows. these aren’t my own

like waiting for parents to pick their children from daycare who never show. my arms are heavy, my mind is tired. i want to go home (i have no home)

i must heal myself, but the only thing i’ve learned from these things that have happened to me

is that no matter the work or the treatment or effort,

i live this life alone

that which watches over me and i together only, i make connections but cannot escape this true story being told all along through me. i guess my naivety didn’t allow me to feel or see.. what i couldn’t bear to feel, my mind protected me. anger is confusing, and yet it leads to clarity.. frees me from the purgatory of trying to understand why people did these things to me. i’ve lived in ignorance, sometimes willfully.

i have lived every day on this earth, in this body, alone. it’s time i step into the light and stop hiding from what i’ve already been shown. hiding never once protected me in the physical.. you have to accept who you really are even when it sobers you down to the bone. transmute weakness into power through surrender. let go of hope.

[plexigod]

[plexigod]

should i tear my heart out now? everything i feel, returns to you somehow

[plexigod]

powering back up