Untitled (or just Uninteresting)

I’m Nate. I make memes. I have bipolar disorder. I have a lot of feelings and no one to talk to about them so they go here. Everything I post is relevant to me and that’s all I care about.

[plumgarten]

Up at fuckin 3:45 am because my upper back hurts so badly. Gotta get ready for work in 45 min but the Tylenol is not doing anything

[plumgarten]

I was at the dentist today, and of course, as soon as I lied down for my fillings, my fuckin TD kicked in. And I felt like Michael Jackson in the Thriller music video, with my unnecessary muscle twitches. Once they calmed down a bit, 5ish minutes later and I swear I’m not lying, fuckin Thriller by Michael Jackson played on the radio.

[plumgarten]

I woke up at 2am because my Great Dane is way into my personal space. I woke him up, put my heated blanket on, and tried to go back asleep. Thrice this happened when he eventually slipped back into my area to cuddle. But I don’t want to cuddle when there’s a fuckin 200lb dog trying to sleep across my legs. It’s 3:20, am I awake for the day now?

[dailycatsblog]

[plumgarten]

It’s really fucking sad that I have 2 days off a week, and I feel obligated to clean and run errands instead of relaxing. There’s no energy after work 5 days of the week. I can’t risk “losing” a day off to naps and tv. I’m on day 1 of my vacation, and I already went for a walk and cleaned the upstairs of my house. But doing that during the work week? Impossible without a nap. Then my family complains “you sleep too much”, maybe if you haven’t met someone who works as hard as me, yeah. I do sleep a lot. I sleep a lot as a mother of 2 kids and a having full time job. I get really tired after waking up early in the morning to take care of my job, then my kids, and my house and family. Sometimes I have more drive than others. I was walking 3 miles after work everyday, and that was nice, but as it is currently, I haven’t been able to for even one day a week. Give me the promise of 7 solid days off, and that was the first thing I did today. 6 am. 3 mile walk. I loved it. I felt like I could spend the day however I wanted without the worry of calling myself a lazy fat bitch.

[plumgarten]

I am a key to a different dimension.

My world is happening between two dimensions, with varying minute differences. Perhaps it’s just time, and I’ve discovered that time isn’t linear. I can go anywhere through time. I can sense there’s glitches around me. Hopefully my life won’t crumble because my eyes are finally open. I said yesterday that I wanted the truth no matter what it costs. But when I’m sitting and thinking about my life here, how it would disappear forever. Idk I’m hesitant.

[plumgarten]

I had 6 fuckin cups of coffee today and no water and now I have a headache but there’s beer in the fridge and we’re having pot roast so 🤷‍♀️

[plumgarten]

Not to be dramatic, but I think I’d rather jump off a bridge than put my laundry away

[my-dailydreams]

[only-cat-memes]

[dailycatsblog]

[plumgarten]

Do they divorce when the kitty dies?

[plumgarten]

Having a period is like getting kidnapped and tortured for a week, then when you’re happy it’s ending, you get kicked out of the moving car.

[plumgarten]

Latuda is a lifesaver, and it took me 2 years taking different antipsychotics to get my insurance company to cover it. However, I do have tardive dyskinesia, and it is getting worse. I also have severe jaw clenching/stiffness/pain, which I take benztropine for. Switching is not an option. There isn’t another antipsychotic that can handle my bipolar depression. Also I switched to Trident gum because they had more flavors, I usually chew orbit. Holy shit, Trident gets so hard after 30 min. I feel like I bruised my jaw from just chewing gum, Jesus

[plumgarten]

Oh my god, my tastebuds are crying, this salad is so good. I’m not saying the salad is particularly better than others, this is my first meal since yesterday at 4pm, after work and my 3-mile walk. I had a can of peas for dinner and a frozen yogurt bar for dessert, and all I’ve had today was a biscotti and fiber one brownie. Yesterday, I ate my salad on lunch and saved the rest for later. My legs are so sore, and sometimes I get kinda light headed but tomorrow is my cheat day, so it’ll be fine

[plumgarten]

So sleepy. Still on a calorie deficit. I work 40hr weeks, and I walk 3 miles after work. All I want is my blender to be clean when I get home so I can make my muscle milk milkshakes. Dark cherry or blueberry?

I fell asleep the last two afternoon/evenings. I’ve told myself I won’t take long naps anymore but man, even climbing stairs is hard. Today’s meals include a biscotti, and a personal sized salad from the produce department. The shakes are strawberry muscle milk, yogurt, and 8oz frozen berries. Lots of protein, no added sugar. I did peach last time, it tasted nothing like peach.

I swear to fucking god, if my blender is still dirty, and I have to eat a fucking can of peas instead, imma be pissed

[plumgarten]

I’m in a calorie deficit diet. In the last 6 years, I’ve gained 20 lbs. I used to be active and efficient, and now I associate food with comfort and happiness. I’ve tried “dieting” before, but all I want when I eat is more food. The trick is don’t go shopping for diet food. Barely buy food at all. I hate planning meals and sticking to the 5 or 10 calories I need to burn off a piece of cake. I don’t plan on doing this once I’ve lost 20 lbs, I actually eat quite healthy now (before starting the diet). I had the day off work today, and I noticed I was really tired, despite having 4ish cups of coffee. I know my body doesn’t have enough food to make energy, and I’ll just have to deal with it. Today, I had a cookie my daughter made, a kind bar, and coffee. For lunch, I had a tomato cucumber sandwich with Swiss cheese and a Dave’s whole wheat and grains bread. For dinner, a half a bunch of asparagus. There’s always fresh fruit in the basket. I don’t like fruit but it is filling and sweet. I probably eat a banana every day and I hate bananas. It’s just to put something in my tummy. It’s been surprisingly easy to avoid eating, it’s only when I eat that I get hungry and want more. I do take a 3 mile walk almost every day, so I’m hoping I can melt the fat away quickly.

[plumgarten]

There’s certain times where the my mood changes and there’s no rhyme or reason for it. And I start thinking about my current environment, or whether or not I’ve slipped into a different reality. I don’t feel like time or space has changed, and I don’t think I’ve missed any pills. It’s a literal snap of a mood, just randomly. Not it’s makes me anxious, and I wouldn’t mind crying a bit, if I can go back to that mood