MeMyselfAndUs

A Blog Of Random Thoughts From A Random System

[pluralpeeps]

It’s been awhile but we have finally made an update! 

[pluralpeeps]

Down with Depression

You evee just message someone you haven't talk to in forever just so they ask you how you've been so it feels like someone actually cares?

[pluralpeeps]

Klara’s thoughts

Anyone else act like they are raising a magical castle from the ground whenever they stretch? No? Just me. Okay. 

[pluralpeeps]

Dude, it's okay to give the baby a bottle, especially if you're a guy in a woman's body and you don't know how the fuck breastfeeding works. Turns out, it's not as easy as one might think.

-Kay

[pluralpeeps]

So we had our son!

And he is just perfect in every way. Our family is just a tad chaotic but we’re making it work somehow. Even Kay is taking a hand in helping and Mar too! Who would have ever thought Mar would be one of the main people who would be helping out. It’s a big shock but a welcome one, nonetheless. 

[spism]

to folks with DID: what are aspects of having DID that you wish you could see well represented in media?

what have others done wrong that you want to see shown accurately? what would make a realistic portrayal to you?

i’m a filmmaker with DID who has been trying to write a short film based off my own expierences for a while now. a lot of the film is me trying to reinterpret and reclaim harmful tropes i’ve seen (even done by my own close friend who once made a short abt did!) i’d like to get input from other ppl living with this

[aethersvstem]

1. What switches actually look like, bonus points for showing different types of switches that are either fast or slow. The movie What If It Works does a good job of portraying very subtle/ fast switches.

2. Types of amnesia that aren't blackouts/ fugue states. Gray-outs. Emotional amnesia. Amnesia where the character doesn't even realize they lost time until someone else brings up an event they don't remember; Mr. Robot actually does this last one well.

3. The fact that it's not always obvious someone has DID and it's common for the person themselves to not know. Not every (or any alter) necessarily acts noticeably different. Again, points for Mr. Robot.

4. Addressing the fact that it's a disorder caused by trauma. Doesn't have to go into detail, especially to avoid being triggering, but it should be mentioned. DID =/= random.

5. People with DID can have "scary" alters, but that shouldn't be the focus of the plot. Using systems as the horror movie monster is just plain offensive and harmful. If someone has a "scary" alter (e.g. persecutor) let's see how it affects them/ their system and some insight as to why alters like that are formed. Why they behave that way.

6. On that note - nonhuman alters being portrayed in a not scary, not cringey way. *Glares at the movie Split for being a massive failure in this department*

7. Representation of a system that learns to be cooperative and where the treatment goal isn't complete integration/ fusion. Positive aspects of DID. Not in a make it look like it's fun and not a serious illness way. Just. Protectors and caretakers playing their role. Moments where the main character doesn't have to feel as scared and alone because other alter(s) are there offering support. Inner system friendships; even relationships.

8. Co-consciousness and confronting shown without having the main character visually hallucinate the other alter(s). I get that this might be a bit difficult to do since we want the audience to understand what's happening... but I think all the media that resorts to having alters interact as hallucinations is very misleading. Does this happen with some systems? Yes. Is this a common experience for DID? No.

9. NEVER ONCE USING THE PHRASE "MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER" TO EXPLAIN WHAT DID IS. The term is so outdated, inaccurate, and needs to die!

10. Representation where the line between DID and schizophrenia or psychosis isn't so blurred. People seem to have a hard enough time as it is understanding the difference. The character with DID doesn't need to experience hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia. It's more accurate if they don't.

[bellthekat]

11. Alters having friendly or loving relationships with each other.

12. An older “host”/ANP healing by nurturing young trauma holders.

13. How hurtful rejection or discrimination is for the whole system. (I’ve lost friends who didn’t believe in DID. After we came out to our parents, mother speculated to our face that we were possessed. Therapists have refused to work with us or treat us as people.)

14. From an alter’s perspective, what it’s like to be disconnected to the outside world or to not understand why they’ve lost years of their life.

15. Shows like the United States of Tara show alters having radically different body language, patterns of speech, and taste in clothing and fashion. That’s not wrong, per se, but it erases the experience we have of hiding our natural body language or quirks in order to seem more like a single person.

16. On the same note, alters having different levels of awareness about their condition and the other alters. I see way too many pieces of media where only the “host” is aware or where the whole system is oblivious.

17. EACH ALTER BEING EQUALLY REAL. In every show I’ve ever seen, there’s a “real” or “original” personality surrounded by alters. This just isn’t how it works for us.

[foggy-mirror]

18. maybe the use of like a journal/phone to communicate. Not only for non-verbal/semi verbal alters but also in times of heavy dissociation or panic. 

19. Having comfort items on the body that all the alters know about and respect. (eg. we have three journals that we always carry around incase the author of those journals fronts and needs them) 

19.5. Having objects that *only one* alter uses but the whole system respects that as theirs (eg. we have a hat that *only* kota uses and no one else is allowed to use it. If Kota switches out the next fronter will take off the hat kinda thing) 

[pluralpeeps]

20. Some alters share the same likes or dislikes. Just like normal people, one alter can share a hobby with another and just because they like similar things does not invalidate them or make it so they’re not separate from the others.

21. Littles can do adult things! Our little can drive and hold conversations if she wants to. 

22. Pets are really good at telling the difference between alters. They have the ability to read body language and vocal tones easier than we humans and have an easier time telling the difference between them. 

[pluralpeeps]

Being Multiple with a baby on the way

We’ve done lost our minds. Now that the baby is due in less than two weeks, our mental state has all around plummeted. Anxiety is about as bad as it was when we first started to figure out how to cope with DID. Nothing we can do will lower it and just sitting here trying to gather ourselves is just making it worse. To those parents out there with mental health problems, you’re so strong! And to those who have mental health problems and want to start a family, get yourself settled first. Pregnancy is no joke and there are a lot of medication you just CAN’T take when pregnant. It’s important to know your plans and how you intend to self care because we didn’t and this pregnancy has been really rough on our psyche. It’s okay to want a family! Everyone should be allowed to have a family when they want one but make sure you add yourself to those plans. Kids change everything. 

[pluralpeeps]

Figured it’s time to do some kind of update

But we haven’t a clue what to update with. We’re probably going to talk to our therapist about our mother issues today. So not looking forward to that one. It’s going to be hard to stay in the front seat for it especially since I have a few peeps who think we shouldn’t even have those people in our lives. We hate crying in front of people. Like HATE IT! And whenever we talk about how we just want our mother to love us and accept us for us, it always seems to bubble up and start the water works.  People say it’s okay to cry but yeah, no. That makes us vulnerable and we can’t afford to be vulnerable. 

[pluralpeeps]

Pregnancy sucks sometimes

So we had trouble sleeping before we got pregnant. Now that we’re 6 months pregnant, our body has decided to side with our mind and are double teaming us for lack of sleep. When we finally do get some sleep, it’s not deep sleep. Just a light slumber. It is the worst. 

[pluralpeeps]

Sometimes I wish I could just spend all day in bed

Then I remember we have a toddler. And a quiet toddler who you can’t see, is a BAD toddler! Guess I’ll go be a mom now. 

-Klara

[pluralpeeps]

Silent Wings (on Wattpad) https://my.w.tt/ItnPqAx2u5 Lance Breaux did not always understand his Native American heritage or how they could possibly be special. After his grandmother dies, he decides he will learn more of his heritage and quickly finds himself in a lot more than he had bargained for. 

Been working on this for awhile now and just want to know what people think. 

[maybe-its-sertraline]

Therapist: Are there gaps of your childhood that you can't remember?

Me: um. There are flashes of my childhood that I do remember 😅

[pluralpeeps]

So it’s real interesting to hear about my antics as a child, since I don’t, ya know, remember

There was a time when I was at Sea World with my family, cousins, aunts/uncles, everyone. We were like a group of twenty. I don’t remember it much but apparently we all went to a Hawaiian Luau that Sea World was hosting. My uncle was called up on stage to learn the dance and since it consisted of a lot of hip work, the women had their hands on his hips and were showing him the proper way to sway them. Well, little ole me was not happy about this. I turned to my Aunt and asked “You’re okay with them touching him that way?” My family got a huge laugh from it and it was probably the first time I’ve ever heard of Huntress, who is our prim and proper alter, doing anything before I knew of her. But it just screams something Huntress would tell the family at the sight of the dancers.  

[animatedtext]

[pluralpeeps]

Depression sucks

I can’t even bring myself to finish this crochet project that I’ve been working on for a month. I’m literally on the last lap. I’m just about done and I just don’t have the energy to bring it to a close. I can’t run the last tiny lap. I’m burnt out and just exhausted. This sucks. 

-Jess

[pluralpeeps]

Is it illegal to put us all on one census?

What do you mean you have 10 people living in your household? We only see three. Well, you see here. It all started when I was in kindergarten. 

-Kay

[pluralpeeps]

Are group settings for mental health an actually helpful situation or do they do more harm then good when not monitored by a professional?

So I’ve had this question on my mind for awhile now cause we took part in the group thing for awhile and it only seemed to exasperate our condition more so than if we were to go on with our lives like we had been before we figured out what the hell was going on with us.  The husband is a counselor and he does group therapy for those who suffer from different mental health problems and obviously, group therapy is a thing and (I guess) works? Just look at AA and different things like that. BUT this question really isn’t calling in the fact that those groups (Which are usually held under the guidance of a trained counselor) may or may not work. And maybe it’s just us or whatever. Anyways, we’re asking about groups on like reddit and facebook that have NO medical professional to guide them. They just seek advice from each other. Are these groups hurtful more than helpful? I know for sure they aren’t helpful for us, like at all. Shit, now I’m gonna have to look up and do all this research to find out the answer.  On the next episode of Dragon Ball Z! Does Kay find the answer he was looking for? Will someone else ever take him away from this blog? Why is he posting so MUCH?! Find out next on Dragon Ball Z!